Descendants as Shit Said in My House
Mal: I don’t want to go to school. I wanna play hooky and write spells in my book-y.
Evie: Once I wanted to be a Princess, and now I’m a Queen. Either way, I don’t deserve this!
Jay: No I’m fine really! Believe me, one time I got hit by a car- I didn’t even bruise!
Carlos: Unless you have four legs, a tail, and are ready to cuddle, I’m not listening.
Ben: I used to be really good at making friends, but now they’re just kinda…attracted to me and I’m stuck being awkwardly friendly.
Lonnie: If you keep talking bad about yourself, I will personally fight your brain.
Jane: I’ve had a long day, don’t talk to me, I hate everyone right now. I going to make coffee and go to sleep.
Doug: WE GET IT! I’M SHORT!
Audrey: I don’t need to apologize because I am not wrong.
Uma: I love mom! She taught me all the important things, like: how to emotionally manipulate people, guilt them passive aggressively, and make my children cry.
Gil: It’s fun being the tall friend! Everyone comes to you for help and shade, and it makes me feel important!
Harry: PIRATE’S DON’T HAVE BEDTIMES! GO AWAY DAD!