ulysses s. grant

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Since Presidents’ day and Valentine’s day are so close together, I thought it would be appropriate to make some presidential Valentine’s cards.

(I also made sure to keep them clean so that you could actually give them to people lol)

Things I’ve learned from my reading so far:

-Abe Lincoln once suggested cow dung as a dueling weapon.

-James Madison is the only president to have honorary citizenship in another country. (it’s France)

-Ronald Reagan was the first president to ever be divorced.

-Dolley Madison is the longest serving First Lady or White House Hostess.

-The Kennedys met because Jackie was the camera girl interviewing JFK.

-Edith Wilson is known as “the presidentress” because of her role in making decision on behalf of her husband after he suffered a stoke.

-Grace Coolidge delivered a is the only first lady to give a speech at Gallaudet. (and yes, she did sign it)

-Lincoln was the first president to be born outside of the original 13 states.

-William Henry Harrison gave the longest Inaugural Speech, FDR gave the shortest. 

-Andrew Jackson was drunk when he was sworn in as Vice President.

-James Madison is the only president to ever lead troops from the battlefield.

-John Tyler had the nickname of “His Accidency”

-John Quincy Adams wore the same hat every day for 10 years.

-JFK was the first president to never wear a hat.

-Ulysses S Grant’s favorite horse was named Jeff Davis, to mock the president of the Confederacy. 

-James Madison once accused Benjamin Franklin of being a British spy.

-Robert Lincoln, Abraham Lincoln’s son, was present for three presidential assassinations.

The memoir has been highly regarded by the public, military historians, and literary critics. Grant portrayed himself in the persona of the honorable Western hero, whose strength lies in his honesty and straightforwardness. He candidly depicted his battles against both the Confederates and internal army foes. SOURCE

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ulysses s grant: cinnamon roll
  1. the “S” in his name doesn’t stand for anything. it (and having ulysses as his first name) was a mistake on his records when he was nominated for west point, and he was pretty much too tired to correct it
  2. he hated fancy clothes (INCLUDING THE UNION UNIFORMS)
  3. literally SENT THE ARMY after the KKK and pretty much destroyed them until they reformed
  4. hated the sight of blood. how did this man survive the civil war
  5. during his presidency, he got a speeding ticked for riding a horse too fast
  6. his nickname as a kid was Lyss
  7. while we’re talking about nicknames, his wife had a bunch for him. my favorite is Dodo
  8. he and his wife were just super sappy and romantic
  9. he drew pictures of his horse
  10. he tried to get equal rights for native americans and end prejudice against them, african americans, and jews
  11. was just generally a good person
  12. slightly charred cinnamon roll, has been through hell and back
dailymail.co.uk
Home where Ulysses S. Grant launched a battle is vandalized by thieves
Historic Civil War-ear home from where Ulysses S. Grant launched a victorious and pivotal battle is vandalized by thieves who strip the home of its support beams, wood, and brick.

Thieves vandalized and destroyed and took away much of the wood, bricks, and beams of historic 200-year-old A.K.  Shaifer House in Port Gibson, Mississippi’s Department of Archives and History said Thursday.

During the war, the house also served as a headquarters for Gen. John A. McClernand’s GHQ and a Union hospital, according to Natchez Trace Travel

‘It boggles rational minds at the depravity of some of those in our midst who clandestinely rob historic sites and openly remove monuments to our forefathers!’ said a commenter on Facebook

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4410302/Civil-War-era-house-vandalized.html#ixzz4eKbsPb1Z

“Ulysses S. Grant”

Graphite on toned-tan paper, 2016.

US Presidents As Dril Tweets
  • George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
  • John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.
  • Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts
  • James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby
  • James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"
  • John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
  • Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!
  • Martin Van Buren: Food $200
  • Data $150
  • Rent $800
  • Candles $3,600
  • Utility $150
  • someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
  • William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good
  • John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
  • James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom
  • Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying
  • Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...
  • Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...
  • Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"
  • Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off
  • Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,
  • James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now
  • Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark
  • Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site
  • Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
  • William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!
  • Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*
  • Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer
  • Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me
  • Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals
  • Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud
  • Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me
  • Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume
  • Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed
  • John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self
  • Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"
  • Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups
  • Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right
  • Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again
  • Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn
  • George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT
  • Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,
  • George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,
  • Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line
  • Donald Trump: no
Presidents Day fun facts

Today, February 15, is President’s day in the United States! To celebrate, I’ve accrued an interesting bit of information for every American president from Washington to Obama!

George Washington is the only president so far to not be affiliated with any party.

John Adams served as a lawyer for British soldiers charged in the 1775 Boston massacre, despite his own anti-British sentiments.

Thomas Jefferson spoke 6 langauges; English, Welsh, Greek, Latin, French, and Arabic.

James Madison was the shortest president ever, standing 5'4" tall.

James Monroe had the Liberian capital city of Monrovia named after him, as he helped establish the country.

John Quincy Adams was the first president to be interviewed by a female reporter, Anne Royal, who stole the president’s clothes when he went skinny dipping and refused to give them back until he answered her questions.

Andrew Jackson’s birthplace is unknown, but it’s in one of the Carolinas.

Martin Van Buren is the only president to not speak English as his first language, he actually spoke Dutch.

William Henry Harrison died a month after becoming president.

John Tyler has two living grandsons as of 2016.

James K. Polk died the youngest of any president, not counting those that were assassinated.

Zachary Taylor was nicknamed “Old Rough and Ready” because as a soldier, he went into battle in old farm clothes instead of a uniform.

Millard Fillmore is the only president to have never had a VP for their entire presidency.

Franklin Pierce’s wife believed God didn’t want him to become president, since their son died shortly after his election.

James Buchanan sometimes bought slaves just to set them free.

Abraham Lincoln is the only president to have held a patent, on a type of buoy.

Andrew Johnson was the only Southern Senator to stay loyal to the Union during the civil war.

Ulysses S. Grant’s real first name was Hiram.

Rutherford B. Hayes was the first president to use a telephone.

James A. Garfield was the last president to be born in a log cabin.

Chester A. Arthur was accused of being born in Canada during his presidency, and the allegations have persisted to this day.

Grover Cleveland was accused of having an illegitimate child, and his detractors protested by chanting “Mama, where’s my pa? Gone to the White House, ha ha ha!”

Benjamin Harrison was the grandson of William Henry Harrison, and his presidency, although 48 times as long, was just as uneventful.

William McKinley was the first president to ride in an automobile, however, this auto was an ambulance used to transport him after he was assassinated.

Theodore Roosevelt was the first American to receive a Nobel prize, for his role on ending the Russo-Japanese war.

William H. Taft kept a cow at the White House named Pauline to provide fresh milk.

Woodrow Wilson suffered from dyslexia as a child.

Warren G. Harding entered college at age 14.

Calvin Coolidge liked to wear a cowboy hat around the White House.

Herbert Hoover has a comet named after him.

Franklin Roosevelt was diagnosed with polio after falling into the Bay of Fundy while vacationing in Canada.

Harry S Truman kept a sign on his desk that said “The buck stops here” representing how he couldn’t pass on his duties to anyone else. The other side read “I’m from Missouri”, as Truman was very proud of his home state.

Dwight Eisenhower’s reputation as a war hero made him so popular, that both parties asked him to run on their ticket.

John F. Kennedy’s father encouraged him to go into politics and become the first catholic president, which he did.

Lyndon B. Johnson owned an amphibious car that he liked to surprise foreign diplomats with by offering them a ride and then driving straight into a lake.

Richard Nixon could play five musical instruments: Piano, saxophone, clarinet, accordion, and violin.

Gerald Ford is the only president to have never been elected to any executive office, he won both the vice presidency and the presidency by accident.

Jimmy Carter won a Nobel prize in 2002 for his humanitarian work.

Ronald Reagan kept a jar of jellybeans on his desk, and he would eat them whenever he was stressed. When he became president, the Jelly Belly company introduced blueberry jelly beans so the jar on Reagan’s desk could have red, white, and blue beans.

George H.W. Bush served as VP for Reagan, an ambassador to China, and head of the CIA before becoming president.

Bill Clinton originally wanted to be a jazz musician, but was inspired to enter government after meeting JFK in 1963.

George W. Bush is the first president to have run a marathon. In 1993, he completed the Houston marathon in 3 hours, 44 minutes, 52 seconds.

Barack Obama collects Spider-Man comics.

Trump claims “no politician in history has been treated worse”

So I decided to dispute this claim for him in a list form. I even just stuck to presidents, though he left it open to “all politicians.” Here are some examples of criticism our former presidents received:

  • President George Washington: had to borrow money to attend his own inauguration; Jefferson repeatedly accused him of treason especially regarding the Jay Treaty
  • President John Adams: entire reputation scourged by a scathing 72-page letter written by Alexander Hamilton (a member of his own party) about how horrible he was
  • President Thomas Jefferson: election called the “greatest misfortune our nation has ever experienced” by Martha Washington; also historically despised by many of his colleagues
  • President James Madison: was frequently made fun of for being small/frail/weak (5'4", about 100 pounds, very sickly); the wife of a Virginia politician once labeled him “the most unsociable creature in existence"
  • President James Monroe: was nicknamed “The Last Cocked Hat” due to his outdated revolutionary-era fashion sense he still kept later in life; also…he acquired Florida
  • President John Quincy Adams: constantly plagued by calls of illegitimacy for his term because of the backroom deal he made with the House to be elected over Jackson
  • President Andrew Jackson: basically almost caused mutiny of Southern states over a tariff; was chastised for his nepotism and also nicknamed “King Andrew” for his selfish/monarch-like tendencies as president (also committed genocide but I’m not counting that in here because he was actually LAUDED for it)
  • President Martin Van Buren: nicknamed “Little Magician,” “Sly Fox,” and “Red Fox of Kinderhook” for his shitty political skills, small stature, and red hair; Charles Ogle called him “Martin Van Ruin” on the floor of the House of Representatives
  • President William Henry Harrison: gave an ill-advised address in the freezing cold rain & was literally president for 30 days 12 hours and 30 minutes before he died of pneumonia, after which the nation quickly forgot about him
  • President John Tyler: nicknamed “His Accidency” after inheriting the presidency from Harrison
  • President James K Polk: so obscure that one of his rivals coined the slogan “Who is James K. Polk?” during his campaign; highly criticized for his war with Mexico
  • President Zachary Taylor: though only president for 16 months, often remembered as one of the worst presidents in history; as a total outsider he completely demolished the Whig party after his victory
  • President Millard Fillmore: entire cabinet unanimously resigned after disagreeing with him over a free vs. slave state issue
  • President Franklin Pierce: was abhorrently despised for his hand in the Kansas-Nebraska Act and failed to be re-nominated for a second term
  • President James Buchanan: pre-civil war, became so hated during his presidency part of his cabinet resigned; said to Lincoln upon leaving, “If you are as happy entering the presidency as I am leaving it, then you are a very happy man.” Also has evidently been ranked among 3 worst presidents in every poll and survey conducted since 1948
  • President Abraham Lincoln: shot & killed
  • President Andrew Johnson: literally faced impeachment over his failure to work with Congress; during his trial he blamed his troubles on “a mendacious press” that continually criticized him
  • President Ulysses S Grant: no political experience entering office; was loyal to people close to him and as a result failed to remove ineffective people; presidency riddled with scandals and corruption, though none involved him directly it caused him to be remembered as guilty by association
  • President Rutherford B Hayes: official inauguration secretly held inside the White House for fear of the trouble his opponents might stir up
  • President James A Garfield: shot & killed
  • President Chester A Arthur: plagued by a negative reputation of cronyism garnered in his early political career
  • President Grover Cleveland: sexually abused a widow (which he threw into an asylum) and fathered an illegitimate child (which he threw into an orphanage); was criticized with chants such as “Ma, Ma, where’s my pa?”
  • President William McKinley: shot & killed; also had a poor reputation due to his relationship with Republican party leader Mark Hanna who was seen as manipulating McKinley
  • President Theodore Roosevelt: shot & lived; also seen as egotistical and somewhat of a bully, greatly expanding executive powers
  • President William Howard Taft: Ballinger-Pinchot controversy gained so much bad press it led to the split of the Republican party
  • President Woodrow Wilson: aside from massive criticism over his handling of WWI, also garnered criticism for an investigation launched during his presidency over claims of homosexual interactions between naval personal and civilians
  • President Warren G Harding: Teapot. Dome. Scandal.
  • President Calvin Coolidge: actually criticized for saying too LITTLE
  • President Herbert Hoover: severely criticized for his handling of the Great Depression; also ordered Army to break up protesting veterans & his harsh methods got him a lot of public dissent
  • President Franklin D Roosevelt: faced allegations from Republican leaders in Congress who said he left his dog in the Aleutian Islands after a family trip & sent a Navy destroyer to rescue said dog at the taxpayers expense
  • President Harry S Truman: involved in a scandal when an investigation into the IRS lead to the firing of 166 IRS employees; stained with allegations of corruption in the aftermath
  • President Dwight D Eisenhower: many in his administration under investigation as to how many of their “gifts” and personal purchases were allegedly funded by taxpayer money
  • President John F Kennedy: shot & killed; also had a lot of alleged affairs
  • President Lyndon B Johnson: Pentagon Papers indicated he systematically lied to the American people about American involvement and actions in the Southeast Asian region
  • President Richard Nixon: …do I really have to say anything about this one?
  • President Gerald Ford: pardoned Nixon & hated for it
  • President Jimmy Carter: shit ton of criticism for Iranian Hostage Crisis
  • President Ronald Reagan: shot & lived; Iran-Contra affair; AIDS crisis…yet somehow remembered as America’s sweetheart
  • President George HW Bush: secretary of treasury arrested and sentenced to prison for tax evasion and obstruction of justice
  • President Bill Clinton: almost impeached over Monica Lewinsky
  • President George Bush: a journalist literally threw shoes at him
  • President Barack Obama: birth certificate fiasco, “THANKS A LOT, OBAMA”

Note that this is an insanely brief overview of criticisms, but the point is IT’S PART OF THE DAMN JOB, DON. NOW GET THE FUCK OVER IT BECAUSE NO ONE IS ATTENDING YOUR PITY PARTY.

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April 27th 1822: Ulysses S. Grant born

On this day in 1822, future eighteenth President Ulysses S. Grant was born in Point Pleasant, Ohio. Born Hiram Ulysses Grant, he joined West Point military academy aged seventeen; a clerical error listed him as Ulysses S. (Simpson - his mother’s maiden name) Grant, and fearing rejection from the illustrious academy accepted the new name. He had an undistinguished career at the school, and was not enthusiastic about a life in the military. Grant served in the Mexican-American War under future president General Zachary Taylor, though he had a moral opposition to the war he saw as being fought to gain new territory for the expansion of slavery. Struggling with alcoholism, Grant left the military for several years, but fared poorly in private sector ventures. Upon Southern secession and the subsequent Confederate attack on Fort Sumter, Grant was inspired to defend the Union and returned to the army. He won numerous victories and quickly became one of the most respected generals on the Union side, rising to the leadership of the Union forces. It was to Grant that Confederate General Robert E. Lee surrendered at Appomattox Court House, Virginia, on April 9th, 1865. Grant was a popular figure in the Union, and during the presidency of the unpopular President Andrew Johnson, many Republicans saw Grant as their only viable option for a successor. Indeed, Grant was elected president in 1868, though his tenure was mired in scandal. Allegations of corruption plagued the Grant administration, and his use of federal troops to suppress the Ku Klux Klan and efforts to annex Santo Domingo in the early 1870s proved unpopular. In the 1872 election, Grant faced a challenge from dissidents in his own party - the Liberal Republicans - who allied with the Democrats and nominated editor Horace Greeley for president. Grant won another term, but the next election proved another defeat for his policy, as the disputed results ended in a Republican victory, but at the expense of the end of Reconstruction. Post-presidency, Grant published successful memoirs, and died in 1885 aged sixty-three.

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Apparently fighting in the Civil War and being President meant that you got to be attractive at some point.

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General Grant posing for a photograph, 1860s

Grant vs. Cow:

In 1852, both Harry Heth and Ulysses S. Grant were in St. Louis. Heth had just missed a stagecoach to get to barracks, and he was pretty desperate for a ride. He managed to find then Captain Grant, and Grant offered Heth a ride in his buggy. Grant then went on and on about his really fast horse, and Heth was pretty interested in the animal. But when Grant came out on the buggy…. it was being pulled by a pony.

Heth, naturally, thought this was absolutely hilarious, and Grant felt that he had to defend the pony’s honor. Grant apparently told him “Get in and I will show you how she will go after we get outside of the city limits.” Heth decided to still be a little sass master about the whole thing, until Grant got so fed up he didn’t even bother waiting until they were out of the city. He gave the pony a whip, and the thing just bolted. Heth later writing “I had never been behind anything with so much speed.”

So of course, this pony is going as fast as it possible can down some very narrow and crowded city streets, until Grant noticed a sharp turn up ahead. Grant manages the turn perfectly, but unfortunately for him, he crashes the buggy right into a cow. Both of them were thrown from their seats and went flying. Heth landed on some baskets of cranberries, so for him, the landing was at least soft. Grant, however…. landed on his neck. On the ground. And he was knocked out instantly. Heth was convinced he was dead. But he and some citizens managed to bring Grant to the doctor, and he was eventually woken up- bruised, but not paralyzed or dead.

The cow probably didn’t fare nearly as well.

The pony bolted, but they were able to retrieve her not long after. Grant’s buggy was completely destroyed.

What is really fantastic about this story, though, is that a little over 10 years later, Heth and Grant run into one another again at Appomattox. They make small talk by the McLean House, and then Heth remembered the cow incident. He told Grant, “it would have made little difference, as far as history is concerned, if you had broken my neck…but, Grant, during the last three years I have wished a thousand times you had broken your neck when you ran into that cow.”

Grant broke out laughing at that one.

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TODAY IN HISTORY: 4.9.1865

150 years ago, General Robert E. Lee - the loser - got down on his loser knees and formally surrendered to the undisputed winner, General Ulysses S. Grant 😂

Repeat: the traitorous, confederate army **LOST** and got their backwards, sorry, southern-cross-waving, can’t-win-for-shit, slavery-loving, racist asses kicked 😊