anonymous asked:

Headcanons of how did MTMTE Rodimus, Megatron, Swerve, Ultra Magnus and Whirl meet their future s/o please (The same shy and quiet but kind and patient human s/o if you don't mind)?

Rodimus: As the co-captain of the Lost Light it was his duty to welcome the human liaison to the crew and was eagerly waiting for them in his office. But he wasn’t prepared for how cute they would be. Sure, Ultra Magnus had given him their file but he hadn’t actually read it! So when the liaison introduced themselves he couldn’t help but give them a sly grin while delivering a pick up line. Oh, they got even cuter when they blushed! The liaison promptly excused themselves and escaped the room, covering their face as they did. Rodimus already liked them.

Megatron: He knew why they were really here and couldn’t help but dread meeting them. After all, he had killed countless of their species in cold blood. But he knew he had to do it eventually and decided to just get it over with. When he finally did meet them he was surprised when they didn’t meet his optics. Not in fear or hatred like many other did but rather more out of… shyness? Megatron didn’t know what to think and as soon as the introductions had been done he left, excusing himself by saying that he had things to do. For some reason he couldn’t stop thinking of the liaison for the rest of the day.

Swerve: When he had heard that there was gonna be a human joining them on their journey Swerve immediately knew that he HAD to meet them. But how would he find them? Luckily he didn’t have to think of that as it ended up with THEM finding HIM. The liaison had walked into his bar, looking around curiously, before finally introducing themselves to him. Swerve tried to act cool and do the same but for some reason he simply stuttered and said something like “welcome to drink, can I get you a Swerves?” Primus, he was so embarrassed! First meeting and he had already made a fool out of himself! But then the human laughed and told him that it was nice to meet him and told him that they would return sometime to get that drink before leaving the bar. Swerve couldn’t processed what had just happened and didn’t talk for five minutes, a new record.

Ultra Magnus: He was the first that met and introduced himself to the liaison. Magnus was professional and straight to the point, something which the liaison found very relaxing since he seemed so sure about himself and what he should do. He guided them to their appointed habsuit and told them some ground rules that was meant to be followed. He was pleasantly surprised by how the human agreed with all of them and even how they asked more questions about them. Finally, another sane person on the ship.

Whirl: Two words; bad time. The only way it could have been any worse is if somebody had died. The liaison had been walking down the hallways of the Lost Light when they suddenly heard a pair of heavy footsteps rapidly approaching. Before they could look around and see what was going on someone grabbed them and lifted them up into the air. That someone was, you guessed it, Whirl. He had heard of the liaison and wanted to see the human. After all, fleshies were funny looking and fun to tease so why wouldn’t he? Whirl started asking the liaison a bunch of questions, most of them sexual, and poking them with his claws. He only stopped when Ultra Magnus arrived and saw what was going on. Magnus put Whirl in a headlock and told him to carefully put the liaison down. Whirl called him a party pooper but did as he was told. He had to spend the rest of the day in the brigg.

TFP characters as dril tweets
  • Optimus Prime: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Ratchet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • Bumblebee: 1st grade: Mastered. 2nd Grade: MAstered. 3rd Grade: Mastered. 4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you 5th Grade:This ones hard
  • Arcee: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian
  • Bulkhead: i fear my tropical fish no longer respect me after i accidetnally stumbled backwards & smushed my ass hole right up against their $3000 tank
  • Wheeljack: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Cliffjumper: priest plugs my coffin in at the end of the funeral. “MILLERTIME” lights up in neon on the side, desecrating my corpse & sending me to hell
  • Smokescreen: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler out of the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Ultra Magnus: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
  • Jack: yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
  • Raf: downloading shit loads of counterfeit papa john coupons through unsecure wifi net works
  • Miko: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • Jane Darby: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Fowler: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to stop tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Megatron: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Stascream: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Soundwave: im the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of pro wrestling ads. i make $85k a year. but i have a secret *removs shades to reveal nipple eyes
  • Knockout: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Breakdown: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
  • Arachnid: i will tell you this right now: I'm from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
  • Shockwave: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Predaking: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • Dreadwing: (the trolls watch in astonishment as the milk shake they threw at me flawlessly bounces off of my head wwith minimal pain and mess involved)
  • Unicron: *all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird
my favourite character’s weapons in no order

optimus prime: lava axe and blue lazer guns

bumblebee: shooty guns

arcee: lesbIAN BLADES

chromia: sheer power of anger alone

Starscream: words and screaming

Thundercracker: pureness

Ironhide: he is the weapon

Wheeljack: who knows what it’ll be next

Megatron: a giant a$$ cannon – wait, you don’t fight anymore? oh, wait, so now the power of edge and darkness is at your side? oh, there’s your cannon again. nevermind. No fighting. Just words.

Rodimus: a campfire gone wrong

Ultra magnus: rules

Prowl: tables

Fulcrum: suicide – wait, that doesn’t work

Misfire: mistakes

ratchet: the power of being 100% done with everything

Grimlock: flame sword

whirl: zero shits

Differences between popular fanon and IDW G1 canon:

Popular fanon: Optimus was a devoted spiritual leader.

IDW G1 canon: Optimus was an atheist.

Popular fanon: Rodimus was a young yet capable leader.

IDW G1 canon: Rodimus was a man-child.

Popular fanon: Arcee was a people-person with gentle spark.

IDW G1 canon: Arcee was socially awkward and undefeatable warrior.

Popular fanon: Bluestreak was a sweet woobie who needed a hug.

IDW G1 canon: Bluestreak was a traitor.

Popular fanon: You can trust Prowl.

IDW G1 canon: You cannot trust Prowl.

Popular fanon: Jazz was a charming social butterfly that could woo anyone, no matter what species they were.

IDW G1 canon: Have you seen how awkward Jazz was trying to reach out to that girl?

Popular fanon: Orion Pax was a nerdy bookworm with kind heart and hidden courage, hated violence and good at diplomatic.

IDW G1 canon: Orion Pax was a super cop, diplomatic was not his strong suit, and when really, really angry he quick to resort to violence (asked Prowl).

Popular fanon: Sideswipe was a witty prankster and talented merchant.

IDW G1 canon: According to TV Tropes, Sideswipe was a dumb muscle.

Popular fanon: Sunstreaker was the writers’ favourite twin to kill in order to induce angst.

IDW G1 canon: Sunstreaker was Simon Furman’s favourite plaything.

Popular fanon: Ultra Magnus was Optimus’s brother.

IDW G1 canon: Ultra Magnus was a legacy.

Popular fanon: The Dinobots and the Protectobots were Ratchet and Wheeljack’s children.

IDW G1 canon: They were not related.

Popular fanon: Swoop was the Dinobots’ field medic.

IDW G1 canon: The Dinobots used to have a medic and he was not Swoop.

Popular fanon: Perceptor was never wrong no matter what he did (and he was awesome even without a sniper gun).

IDW G1 canon: Perceptor sometimes did something wrong…

Popular fanon: Elita-1 was a badass female leader.

IDW G1 canon: Elita was a badass female leader and evil.

Popular fanon: Jetfire/Skyfire was Starscream’s Morality Pet.

IDW G1 canon: Did they ever interact with each other?

Popular fanon: Wheeljack was the one responsible for inventing bizarre, mind-blowing inventions.

IDW G1 canon: That job fell to Brainstorm.

Popular fanon: Combiners teams were siblings and were a norm in Cybertronian society.

IDW G1 canon: Combiners teams were five or six unrelated bots forced to join together and were considered perversion by some.

Popular fanon: Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were inseparable.

IDW G1 canon: Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had strain relationship.

Popular fanon: Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were known as the Terror Twins.

IDW canon: Arcee and Galvatron were the Terror Twins.

Popular fanon: Ratchet was grumpy and caring.

IDW G1 canon: Ratchet was grumpy and caring.