ultime frisbee

Some Ilvermorny headcanons
  • First and foremost, every day is cranberry pie day
  • While students do have robes, the clothes they wear underneath the robes are not uniforms. There is an eclectic mix of tastes, from the very serious horned serpent who wears button-downs and ties every day, to the wampus who has enchanted their graphic t-shirt to move, to the thunderbirds and pukwudgies who mutually exist solely for sweater weather.
  • Every year on James Steward’s birthday, there is a school-sponsored cranberry pie bake-off. Pukwudgie house nearly always wins. Once, thunderbird won and good lord you would think it was the civil war all over again
  • There are a lot of local professors, of course, so you get some really thick Boston accents, but there are also professors with southern belle accents who serve iced tea in class, professors with Canadian accents, professors with midwest accents, several Native American professors with smooth, lulling accents, and some Mexican professors who slip into Spanish when they get super excited about their subject. There was a visiting professor from Ireland once, and 96% of female students (and some male students) had major crushes on him.
  • Wampus house is where you go to get body-crushing, soul-lifting hugs
  • Horned serpents may be scholars, but they are also some of the keenest observers. They watch the whole school from afar and quietly play matchmaker to all of their friends. No one suspects them because - what, horned serpent? No. They don’t know about emotions. Meanwhile, the house president makes a killing on the bet she made to predict the homecoming king/queen. 
  • Thanksgiving at Ilvermorny is a spectacle that has to be seen to be believed. It’s almost bigger than Christmas. The thanksgiving feasts at Ilvermorny put Hogwarts to shame. Turkey, ham, real cranberry sauce, pies - oh my god so many pies. They’ve got cider, and tea, and cocoa like you wouldn’t believe. There are New English dishes and Southern dishes and Native dishes and Mexican dishes and Canadian dishes and West Coast dishes - essentially it’s a gigantic continental potluck, and it goes on all day long. Also, their pumpkin juice tastes 1000 times better.
  • While things like dueling and fighting with wands may be frowned upon at Hogwarts, at Ilvermorny it’s kind of just assumed that stuff happens, and the profs are very chill about it. “Just don’t kill each other okay” “just take it outside” “no casting destruction spells indoors” “bring some band-aids with you” “if you break your nose don’t bleed on your homework”
  • Pukwudgies are a pretty agreeable house over all, if not a bit salty and surly around the edges, they’ll still help you with your homework and bring you soup when you’ve got a cold. But all bets are off when they step onto the lacrosse field. Maybe its a pride thing, but pukwudgies are frikkin animals when playing lacrosse.
  • Wampus beats pukwudgie at lacrosse fairly often. They don’t actually practice that much, they just kind of win.
  • This fact has fueled a sports rivalry - friendly in wampus’ eyes, bloodthirsty in pukwudgie’s eyes. 
  • At wampus/pukwudgie games, horned serpents sell special blends of popcorn. Thunderbirds purchase, hoard, and eat 89% of this popcorn.
  • Horned serpents and pukwudgies often, though not always, end up having an unspoken rivalry in potions class.
  • Contrary to popular belief, wampus is not full of athletic jocks. However, they are the most body-positive of all of the schools, and, somewhat ironically to the stereotype, will never judge anyone for their athletic ability. They want everyone to be able to enjoy athleticism and bravery and adventure in the ways they are most able and gifted.
  • That being said, they do have the kind of student body who, if called upon, could become a minute militia.
  • When there is a freak hurricane or tornado headed headed for the school, it will be a wampus student who is patrolling the halls and telling students where to go for safety. If there is a bully in school, you had better bet your bottom dollar that s/he will be beaten to a pulp by the next day, and it will be a wampus student sporting mysteriously bloody knuckles.
  • Pukwudgies are the ones who patch up the bully; they might accidentally wind the bandages a little too tight.
  • Thunderbirds love a good game of hide-and-seek. They have a tradition of, every halloween, playing hide-and-seek in the dark in the woods.
  • Horned serpents are the students least often caught for sneaking in contraband into school. Caught being the key word. Most students learn at some point in their education that if you want a nice stiff drink, you go to horned serpent. During secret designated holidays, horned serpent common room turns into a speakeasy. 
  • Unexpectedly, it is pukwudgies who carry the most weapons and dangerous materials on their person at any given time. If a group of Ilvermorny students were going through a security check, it would be the pukwudgies held at the line while they emptied their pockets (bigger on the inside, of course) of various poisons and weapons. When asked, they would just shrug and say “just in case”.
  • The town around Ilvermorny is home to several franchised chain restaurants that, although they are no-maj brands, have been taken over by Ilvermorny alumni and thus serve predominantly wizarding patrons. Cups levitate to customers in the Starbucks, there are magic-only options on the menu; the chik-fil-a floor sweeps itself; at dominos the pizzas assemble themselves while the one clerk waits, bored, at the register. There are in-house cues for magic patrons whenever a no-maj walks in. The clerk rings a bell or taps loudly on the counter, or yells out an order than is actually a code word for stop doing magic stuff. It’s like red light green light.
  • There are some old service tunnels beneath the school left over from WWII and the Cold War. They’re like a labyrinth, and Thunderbird has a monopoly on the maps to the tunnels. Some of the more obscure tunnels have large rooms that are perfect for parties and impromptu speakeasies (lookin at you, horned serpent). Thunderbirds will rent out these rooms to fellow students at a fair and competitive rate.
  • Unlike hogwarts, Ilvermorny students are more apt to use modern technology. Electrics can be weird around witches and wizards, but they still enjoy a lot of no-maj programming. They use computers instead of quills (but still have to print off their essays, ugh,) and listen to music, and watch TV.
  • Star Trek has long been a school cult favorite. Pukwudgies have adopted Bones as their pop culture mascot; Kirk is Thunderbird’s, Spock, horned serpent. Wampus vacillates on which of these three they like most, though it must be said, when they start watching Next Gen, many wampus students find themselves enamored with Worf,
  • There has only been one no-maj to ever make it past the magic shields of Ilvermorny unaided. This instance was in 1985. His name was Chad, who at the time was 1) stoned out of his mind and 2) delivering chinese takeout to a horned serpent pulling an all-nighter. School admin found out later, and there was hell to pay. They never did track down Chad to wipe his memory.
  • Pukwudgie house does have more than its fair share of healers, so they are definitely the ones to go to for cold remedies, home made soup, the best cures for menstrual cramps, and really good back rubs.
  • However, they are also the ones to go to for less medical remedies: the best hot cocoa, the most gourmet teas, and home made food.
  • Each house has a class president who is elected for a two-year term (unless they’re a final year student, in which case they will serve one before being taken over by their VP). They have some influence within their houses, but never as much as they’d like. For instance, the thunderbird president once attempted to institute mid-day dancing parties, but school admin said no.
  • Pukwudgies are usually not super athletic, but are often very good at things like darts, archery, and waterbaloon fights.
  • Wampus takes ultimate frisbee very, very seriously.
  • Thunderbird hosts an ongoing scavenger hunt throughout the semester.
  • The women of horned serpent blow off steam and the stuffy acadmic pressures of their house by making pillow forts and watching rom coms with each other.
  • Back in the eighties some wizard created a magic version of D&D, and it has become a weekend favorite of many students across all of the houses.
  • After graduation, instead of having a class ring, it has become tradition for Ilvermorny students to make a pendant out of their golden cloak buttons.
  • Ilvermorny may be separated by inter-house squabbles much like at Hogwarts, but at the end of the day, they all leave school wearing the same blue and cranberry robes, sporting the same skill with a wand, raised to the same scrappy, witty, mod-podge tenacity that American witches and wizards embody so well.

I know this is technically a day late, but let’s pretend I totally posted this yesterday… 

Neil starts outlining a plan in his head as he ducks between students and buildings. Group projects are the bane of his existence, but he has to do them if he wants to pass, and he has to pass if he wants to be eligible to keep playing Exy. At least this time Joseph Peters isn’t in his group, but he still prefers individual assignments. The faster he gets his five slides done, the less he has to interact with the group.

Neil cuts across the Green because it’s faster, but he has to weave through a sea of bodies. The warmer weather of spring has drawn out many students from their hoards in the library. From sunbathers to studiers, the grass is now marred by waves and waves of bright colors and tanned skin. The combination of laughter and the singing of nearby birds tangle together in the air like a tangible cacophony, and the rays of the sun lick down along the ground, creating a blissful atmosphere.

Neil sidesteps around a group of sorority girls and ducks to avoid getting in the middle of an ultimate frisbee game. By the time he makes it Perimeter Road, the crowds have thinned out, and it’s easy to cross the road and head up towards Fox Tower.

His dorm is dark when Neil unlocks the door. For some reason all of the lights have been turned off, and it instantly strikes Neil as odd. He knows he can double check the schedule taped to the fridge, but he distinctly remembers Nicky’s class getting out earlier than his. Even stranger still is the fact that someone has blocked out the windows, so only a few straggling bands of light seep in. The stark darkness puts Neil on edge, settling deep in his chest and making waves of anxiety begin to churn. He knows it’s been three years, that there’s no need to run anymore, but that doesn’t stop the disquiet in his bones or ease the itch now sparking in his muscles. He’s considering heading up to the roof and texting Andrew when the lights flick on.

“Surprise!”

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marvel characters' fighting styles according to me
  • iron man: blow shit up
  • captain america: gymnastics + ultimate frisbee
  • hulk: break everything and yell a lot
  • thor: hammer ballet
  • black widow: death by thighs
  • hawkeye: increasingly cool arrow-shooting
  • scarlet witch: interpretive dance
  • quicksilver: just run them over
  • falcon: caw caw motherfuckers
  • winter soldier: never-ending weapons hoard + scowly duckface
  • war machine: machine gun shoulder + sheer level of cool
Vineyard Vines or Boyfriend Finds?

You are here: Part 1, Part 2

DON’T YOU TELL ME YUURI HASN’T BEEN TO THE OLYMPICS MY BOY IS JAPAN’S ACE OF COURSE HE HAS

2008 olympics babes

Based off of @indiansummersunset and @iverindes preppy trust fund college kid Viktor.   Yuuri is going to be a lot more skilled than when we first saw him in the series so basically. Super good skater + Trust fund Kid Viktor

(I sincerely apologize) 

————————–

Yuuri stared down at the campus map on his phone, despite his glasses he still squinted to try to make sense of the many paths that overlapped each other. He looked up from his phone to see if there were any actual street signs then ruffled his hair and pushed his glasses further up his nose. “What’s the rink called anyways?” His muttered question was answered by a small group of girls all focused on someone out in the field. “It’s Nikiforov Rink.” They answered without even looking in Yuuri’s direction.

He stared down at the phone in his hands again, trying to find Nikiforov Rink, only to let out a frustrated sigh and adjust his glasses. “Nikiforov Rink? Where’s that? I’m going to be late to practice!” None of the girls answered his question but the figure they were focused on turned to look at him. Yuuri swore he could see literal sparkles surrounding the VIneyard Vines clothed man. Everything about him screamed preppy as he jogged across the large field, a frisbee in one hand and a smirk on his face. “Hey you!”

Yuuri looked both ways to see who the guy was shouting at then pointed to himself. “Who, me?”

“Yeah you!” The man jogged over with a bright smile while Yuuri could only think ‘Oh shit’ in his head. “Hey I heard you were lost, Nikiforov Rink right? I can find it on the campus app for you.” He smiled brightly as he held his hand out.

Yuuri looked down at his phone with an uncertain expression then smiled back and handed it to him. “Alright, thank you!”

After the silver-haired man typed for a few seconds he handed the phone back. “Here you go, good luck!” He winked at Yuuri then jogged back over to his friend to resume playing ultimate frisbee.

Yuuri smiled slightly and followed the map to the rink, he did however get sidetracked by a new message on his phone with a new contact.

From: Vik Nikiforov:

Hi Yuuri

My parents build Nikiforov rink

But they built me better

The texts were followed with an obscene number of emojis. Yuuri blushed a bright red then slid his phone into his pocket.

Once Yuuri had made it to the rink he stashed his phone away in his bag and pulled his skates out. He laced them up then pulled his sweatshirt off and walked to the rink side. “Um, Mr. Cialdini?” A tall dark-haired man with a pony tail turned then flashed a bright smile. “Ah Yuuri!”

Yuuri smiled nervously then nodded and bowed. “Thank you for coaching me Mr. Cialdini!”

Celestino smiled as he waved his hands. “No need for that, you can call me Celestino or Ciao Ciao.” Yuuri smiled at that then nodded and gestured to the ice. “Ah, um. May I?”

Ciao Ciao nodded then gestured to the ice excitedly. Yuuri smiled as he took his skate guards off and set them on the barrier next to his glasses. After pushing his hair back he glided out and looked at the other skaters who were there. Since it wasn’t a “Scheduled” practice everyone was free to use the rink however they wanted. As he watched the groups fumble on the ice he practically winced at the way they were digging into the ice and creating holes.

Yuuri took a deep breath then put his wireless headphones in his ears, his phone already playing music that connected to them. Once he found out that the groups basically stayed at the edges of the rink to grip onto the barrier he glided to the center and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath then began to do warm-ups, a few simple laps around the rink and then basic jumps.

After he had warmed up he began to skate, testing out the choreography he had in his head. He sighed as he tried to figure out how to fit everything together into his new program. He spent almost an hour trying to work on choreography before huffing and pushing his hair away from his face.

Ciao Ciao spent the first hour observing and giving comments from the boards before having to leave to go to a meeting on the other side of the campus. Yuuri watched him leave with a sigh then went back to skating, the music changed to his most recent skate that he performed, making him smile and begin to skate as if he was at a competition again.

Yuuri didn’t get the chance to notice that the ice was completely empty, most of the students in the stands watching him. Thanks to another student who began to live record it to the rest of the campus, most of the students who weren’t in classes began to file in.

He had his eyes closed as he glided across the ice with a bright smile going from his step sequence into a quad flip, triple toe loop combination. By the time he finished that combination jump Viktor Nikiforov and his entourage had entered to see the newest skating scholarship winner.

It had almost become a show at the point with how many people came to see him skate, when he transitioned into his biellmann spin more than half of the students gasped as Yuuri did it then began dizzying spins.

Yuuri finished in a few minutes then slid his earbuds out for the first time in about two hours, he almost fell over when he heard cheers coming from the stands. Once he noticed that he was the only one on the ice he had never been so happy for his near blindness after he had his glasses off.

He was a blushing mess as he quickly skated off the ice and put his skate guards on, only to then shove everything in his duffel and quickly rush out of the building.

Chris hummed at Viktor’s side once the newest scholarship kid rushed out of the rink, he turned to talk to Viktor when he noticed that he was still staring at the ice. “Hey Viktor, what do you think of our newest student?”

“Kruto! Did you see how he moved on the ice Chris, we need to bring him on the yacht. Yuri make sure he get’s invited to the next yacht party!” Viktor was interrupted by Yuri Plisetsky yanking his shirt and glaring. “I’m not your secretary old man.”

Viktor simply smiled as he took his sweater off then swung it over his shoulder, keeping it in place with his pointer finger acting as a hook. “So everyone, should we make him part of the group?”

Yuri muttered a dark ‘no’, Chris smirked and said ‘yes’, Georgie was still crying from ‘the beauty of the way he glided across the ice’, and Mila grinned with a ‘yes’. “Okay so we have two for yes one for no and I think a yes from Georgie but I’m not sure. Let’s invite him to frisbee tomorrow too, Yuri, make sure he gets invited to frisbee!”

“I told you I’m not your secretary old man!” Yuri was fuming as he stomped off to his dorm, leaving the four to walk back to their own dorms together.

“So you like Yuuri huh?” Chris saddled up to Viktor side then smirked. “Oh mon ami you should see the way he dances too~!”

Viktor nearly pounced on Chris as he grinned, “He dances too?! Chris he’s so perfect we have to go to his next performance or his next skate. Maybe Mama will let me hold an emergency skating event! We can have some roses there for him and then we can give him other flowers too not just roses right? He might not like roses though so we can give him maybe some lilies? Oh! Wait maybe he’d want a more expensive thing for that! Let’s get him a faberge then right? Any questions? No? Okay we’re going shopping soon then!”

Mila put her finger to her lips as she thought then looked around the campus ground. “Why don’t you just ask him Viktor?”

“But how can I ask him Mila?” Viktor whined while leaning on the redhead then pouted. “Viktor…Viktor he’s right there getting his dorm keys okay?” Viktor perked up at that, his eyes scanning the quad before they landed on the Japanese man walking out of the administrative building.

Viktor rushed over to the Japanese man then flipped his bangs and grinned. “Hey there Yuuri, wanna go on a trip on my daddy’s yacht?” He finished with a hand on his hip and a wink.

Yuuri stammered a few words in Japanese, too flustered to changed to English before shaking his head, his cheeks varying colors of red that spread from his ears.  Viktor’s grin faded slightly as he observed Yuuri before a loud bark could be heard, followed by Yuri’s angry yelling. “Oi! Old man get your dog! Why was he in my room anyways!?”

Viktor turned just in time for his dog, Makkachin, to fly past him and knock Yuuri down. Yuuri let out a loud ‘oof’ then began to giggle as Makkachin licked his face. “V-Vicchan what are you doing- Wait. You’re not Vicchan?” Makkachin let out a bark then went back to licking Yuuri.

“Makka get off of him!” Viktor quickly grabbed Makkachin and dragged him off of Yuuri before holding his hand out. “Sorry about Makkachin, she doesn’t normally do that.”

Yuuri laughed as he sat up then scratched Makkachin behind her ears. “It’s okay, she’s cute.” He played with the poodles large ears before standing up fully and looked down at the packet in his hands. “Well, uh. I going to go find my dorm? Did I say that right?” Yuuri mumbled to himself before shaking his head and quickly rushing off. Shouting a ‘Bye Viktor’ over his shoulder.

“Chris?” Viktor asked his friend without looking at him, his eyes glued on Yuuri as he made his way through the quad.

“Yes, Viktor?” Chris saddled up to his side then smiled.

“I’m gonna date that boy.”

When Yuuri made his way into his dorm he was immediately blinded by balloons flying at his face and then a flash disorienting his vision. “Welcome new roomie!” Yuuri blinked before his vision cleared to see a thai man with hamsters on his shoulders and a phone in his hand.  

“A-Ah, I’m Yuuri!” Yuuri smiled then held his hand out. Phichit grinned as he finished typing then pulled Yuuri into a hug. “I know,I’m Phichit. You know you really should update your insta more often. I need to see pics of my new roomie’s adventures!”

Yuuri laughed slightly then ruffled his hair and maneuvered around the balloons to set his duffel down. “Um, I have all of my stuff in the car if you can help me?”

Phichit grinned as he nodded then practically skipped down the hallway with Yuuri in tow. “We’re going to have so much fun this year Yuuri, sorry I could be at the rink to welcome you but I had a class then.”

“Oh it’s okay I got here late so I left all of my things sitting in the car and just ran down to the rink.” Yuuri laughed slightly then skidded to a stop next to the car with Phicht. “You get to meet Vicchan!”

As soon as the door opened Vicchan bounded out and into Yuuri’s arms, Phichit took a picture of that with a grin then slid his phone into his pocket and went to pet Vicchan before the two turned when they heard a squeal.

“Yuuri that was so cute!” Yuuri turned to see Viktor with a frisbee in his hand and a bright smile on his face. “I didn’t know you had a poodle!”

“I-Uh, yeah?” Yuuri blushed to the tips of his ears as he slightly hid his face behind Vicchan. Viktor jogged over then grinned at Phichit before turning his attention to Yuuri. “He’s cute, what’s his name?”

“Oh. Uh Vicchan!” Yuuri continued to blush in different colors before setting the small poodle on the ground.

Viktor smiled and went to say something before Chris shouted from the field. “Hey Vik throw the frisbee!” He pouted slightly before winking at Yuuri and jogging back across the field. “You’re no fun Chris!”

“Yuuri?” Phichit continued to stare at Viktor as he ran, his pink Vineyard Vines shirt drawing attention to himself.

“Yeah?” Yuuri turned his head to look at Phichit while petting Vicchan who had his head tilted to the side.

“Why did Viktor Nikiforov come talk to you? Why didn’t you tell me?!” Phichit let out a series of incoherent screeching noises while Yuuri blushed and attempted to get his new roommate to stop.


You can find my Ao3 and trash fics here

For the Love of My Life- Pt 2 (End)

Characters: reader x Bucky?, reader x Steve?, reader x Tony(but not really),     Wanda, Natasha, Sam (mentioned)

Summary: Modern AU. Reader is a young actress in her first big role when a man from her past offers a chance to fix her biggest regrets.

Song Inspiration: Cleopatra by The Lumineers

Warnings: sex mentions, fluff, heartbreak?, bit of angst.

Word Count: 4.6k (yeah, the splitting this to make it shorter thing didn’t work out so well. :D )

A/N: This story gripped me tight and wouldn’t let go from the instant I thought of the opening scene. It took on a life of its own and I’m kinda in love with how it’s turned out? I really hope you like it. Apologies that it took longer to post this part! Work and illness made it really difficult, but here it is! Please let me know what you think!! :)

Tags are at the bottom

<<<Part One

__________________________________________________________

Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain

Originally posted by caps-bucky

Previously:

Steve paused before speaking, unsure how to proceed. “Y/N…is there any way…could I see you again before I leave?” he blurted the last part before he lost his nerve.

You smiled, “I’d like that.”

He sighed in relief, “Okay. I’ll be in touch. Good night, Y/N.”

“Good night, Steve,” you echoed as he pulled you into a lingering hug. He smelled amazing, like Old spice aftershave with an undertone of fresh linen. He watched you climb the stairs and step inside before walking away, your heart rate beginning to slow at last.  

______________

You woke up the next morning alone, stretching spread-eagle across the full surface of the bed with a smile on your face. Last night was unexpected and while you still didn’t know what it all meant, you tried not to overthink things. Stepping out of the shower, you saw a few text notifications on your phone.

Bucky’s read:

Hey babe. Up for Ultimate Frisbee in the park and a few burgers?

then clicking over to Steve’s message:

Good morning, Y/N. Are you free this afternoon?

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kaitrionabalfe  asked:

I'm in dire need of a fluffy scene where Claire tries to read the lines on Jamie's palm and she ends up failing miserably.

Liv says: So this isn’t fluff, so to speak—but I hope it’s still fun! Set about 2-3 years before puir Frank the Mailman died in the Three Witches AU. No worries if you haven’t read it. This one stands alone! :)


Intersection: A Three Witches Story

Claire knew this was against coven rules. Like, totally outside the realm of acceptable witch behavior.

To dole out one’s magical talents—particularly at the county fair—was a bit manipulative (in regards to the customers), a bit sad (in regards to Claire). Still, she liked to think she was working for a kind of greater good. Ensuring the happiness of all mankind! And that was almost admirable, wasn’t it? Giving hopeful glimmers of adulthood to the stork-like teenagers, comforting the mopey singletons who trudged around, heads bent? She’d offered such assurances as:

“A new man will come into your life. A handsome one—with a huge prick! His name…I think his name begins with a ‘T’.” (This to the recent divorcee, clutching her naked ring finger like a burn. She hadn’t known what a “prick” was but was no less forthcoming with her money.)

Or this, to the bucktoothed 16-year old picking at his acne scars: “You’ll be the coolest person in college. Captain of the ultimate frisbee team!” He’d been disappointed at that one, enormous chompers clamping over his bottom lip. “Ho ho ho there, young man!” she’d said then. “Ultimate frisbee is cool where you’re going. The coolest cool.” And then he’d smiled, a patchwork of teeth and holes, which Claire hoped someone might find endearing. A nice and wholesome blind girl, maybe.

And then this, to the both of them: “For just $5 more, I can guarantee it! All you have to do is buy this magical rock and carry it with you wherever you go.” Nevermind that said magical rock was actually from Claire’s backyard. Nevermind that several of them were speckled in bird shit. Maybe some cicada guts.

But that was the thing about desperate Mortals. Metaphorically speaking, their whole lives were a succession of bird shit plops and smeared bug guts. So they didn’t even notice when it was covering their $5, not-magical rock.

“Yes please! I’ll take two!” the divorcee had cried, handing Claire a ten dollar bill. (Did she think this would bring two men into her life? Because that’s not how Claire’s bird shit rocks worked.)

“Um. Yeah. That’s sounds pretty sick,” said Beaver Bobby. “I’ll buy a rock.” He’d paid in all quarters but, hey, beggars can’t be choosers.

If her best friend Gillian were here, she would likely call this “an exploitative farce,” two terms she would’ve picked up from her beloved Word of the Day calendar.

Claire,” she would hiss, “this is such an exploitative (Wednesday’s word) farce (last Friday’s word).” And then she’d pull out her Moleskin, update her word count with a self-satisfied tick. Her record, she claimed, was sixty words in a single morning, and Claire imagined a horrible plague descending upon their town, zombifying everyone until they could only grunt “verisimilitude.” Gillian thought an expanded vocabulary made her smarter but, really, it just increased her smart-assedness to a barely tolerable level.

Luckily, Gillian wasn’t here to offer one of her impressive synonyms because she’d bailed on their plans. If Claire could place money on it—and she couldn’t, with only $7 to her name, the very reason for this “manipulative/sad/exploitative farce”—Gillian was protesting GMO’s one county over. Perhaps arguing for the rights of beluga whales. Or, and this was the most likely, she was loitering at the Creamy Whip, breasts thrust at a very specific angle so that customers’ cones would find their shirts and not their mouths.

Psh! Now if that wasn’t an “exploitative farce” then Claire didn’t know what was. Gillian had mosquito bite boobs and a push-up bra more magical than her own powers.

But here was the thing: Claire wasn’t completely faking it. She wasn’t, so to speak, wearing a bra with three inches of padding. She could read palms, see futures unfurl, weblike, across strangers’ skins. Forks, divots, complex branches—each had such a distinct voice, that Claire had no doubt as to whether or not, say, Mr. Duncan over there would choke on a hot dog and die very suddenly. Or whether young Malva—that girl with the cotton candy and ruffled socks—would pop out a kid by the time she was 17. Claire, being a witch, knew precisely what would befall her clients by simply looking at their hands.

But of course, teenage pregnancy and death by synthetic meat logs weren’t exactly good for customer satisfaction. And so Claire would read Mr. Duncan’s palm, and she would see Mr. Duncan’s red face, gasping on a particularly troublesome bit of hot dog, but say he’d live until he was 85. A little white lie for a happy client. And a happy client meant A) money, B) a potential second visit, and thus C) more money. The $5 rocks weren’t scams, just for-profit business cards.

So she was lying, but not, y’know, totally lying. She’d deal with the prevention of hot dog-induced deaths later, when it better benefitted her monthly budget. (Because just as she wasn’t a complete liar, she wasn’t a complete asshole either.)

The fair had died down to a trickling of stragglers: mostly drunks, a couple of junkies who’d staggered into Nayawenne County for cheap-rate smack. Sighing, Claire stood to begin packing up, turned off the moody sound effects, gathered Gillian’s stack of Tarot cards (all hand-painted variations of herself: man Gillian; tree Gillian; Gillian with bigger-than-mosquito-bite boobs).

In the five hours since Claire had arrived, she’d made $120. Not a terrible turnout if one compared it to last year’s fair, when an angry swarm of Bible-thumpers had tossed her earnings into the funnel cake fryer. Sally Bain—or, as Claire called her, Sally Bane-of-Her-Existence—had rallied her troop of Jesus warriors and thrust crucifixes into Claire’s face, chanting things like, “Begone Satan!” and “This is God’s land!”

Which was kind of funny when you thought about it. If God wanted to claim ownership of Nayawenne—out of every other place in the universe—then he was pretty damn stupid.

Fortunately, Claire had suffered no further Bible-thumping, crucifix-wielding disturbances. Sally Bane-of-Her-Existence had fled town once she’d discovered her husband had fucked the organ player up in the ass. And in the church rectory, no less. (Such irony! Claire’d had absolutely nothing to do with it. Ha.)

It had been a windy afternoon, and Claire’s crystal ball was now coated in a fine layer of dust. Though it was only for decorative purposes—for customer satisfaction!—Claire decided she ought to give it a nice shine, make it look at least halfway capable of revealing visions of tomorrow.

Witch Tip #1: Unbeknownst to Mortals, crystal balls were like kisses from a true love. Which was to say, not powerful in the slightest. The most a kiss could do was give you mouth herpes. And, at its highest power, a crystal ball would fly across a room, break a window and the pinky toe of an irritating significant other. Not that Claire had experience with either situation. Certainly not the mouth herpes.

Claire ripped off a paper towel and went to grab the Windex, only to realize she’d left the Windex at home. Had, by a stroke of poor planning, only brought the herbal tonic she sometimes had to spritz into her eyes when they got a bit cloudy.

Witch Tip #2: Seeing the future had its drawbacks. Your eyes would get all crusty if you did it too much. As if your body was punishing you with goopy morning blindness. Honestly, it was pretty gross.

Well shit, Claire thought. She spat on her hand and rubbed the ball, hoping the couple beside “Whack-A-Democrat” wouldn’t think she was, like, doing something sexual to an inanimate object.

But whatever the couple thought, they were watching her, whispering behind their hands and giving her darting glances. Oh God, Claire thought, Bible-thumper radar blaring. Did Sally Bain send them? Did she organize a sabotage via prayer? Was it possible to raise an army of vengeful Baptists an entire state away? (Claire wouldn’t be surprised. She’d heard of stranger things. Done some of them herself. See also: anally-fucked organ player before he was anally fucked.)  

But no, the couple wasn’t looking at Claire with the fury of God in their eyes—but fascination. The woman, a petite but sturdy thing, was shoving her partner in Claire’s direction. Making a not-so-obvious pointing gesture, like, Her. Her! that he seemed somewhat reluctant to obey. Still, he did, and soon he was striding towards Claire, long legs stomping up clouds of dirt dust, red hair matching the synthetic blood of a “whacked” Bill Clinton.

“Are you…” the man began, looking nervously over his shoulder. The woman pursed her lips, arched her brow like, Do it, you pussy. He shoved his hands in his pockets, defeated. “Are ye done for the day, lass?”

“I was just about to pack up, but I’ve time for another reading if you’re interested.”

“Aye…” he said, completely unconvincing. “Aye, I suppose I’m interested.”

“Well then, take a seat, Mr…?”

“Fraser. Jamie.”

Keep reading

I imagine that Ilvermorny starts out as Hogwarts 2.0 but by now it’s changed because there’s no way American Wizards wouldn’t want to be independent from the British because ‘Murica!! so have some modern Ilvermorny headcanons:

- Mostly everyone uses pens and spiral notebooks. Quills and parchment are too outdated for these kids. 

- There’s been an ongoing fight for the elimination of uniforms since the 70′s. As of the 90′s they get to wear whatever they want on fridays, holidays, and the last day of school so long as they aren’t in trouble with the administration.

- During the weekends the kids have the option to use underground passages to get to a facility far away enough from the school where they can use their muggle devices. Movie nights projected on the walls are a popular event.

- There are bike lanes on campus because the students love to bring their bikes,skateboards, rollerblades, and scooters to school.

-The classes about no-maj culture is TONS better than the one at hogwarts. American wizards are generally up to date with muggle culture and politics. Most even vote during elections when they become of age.

-Each grade level has a representative and there are meetings held where they discuss possible events and can address various issues to the headmaster. You can even “impeach” your rep with enough signatures and a student held trial with a jury and everything.

-Student held trials are actually a popular way to settle disputes, but the administration had to create a set of rules that define an “appropriate dispute for the court” after a traumatic year long trial involving a broken novelty mug.

-There’s a drama department and they like to perform no-maj plays/musicals at the end of the year. 

-The popularity of quidditch is dwindling. Ultimate Frisbee played on brooms is becoming the new favorite on campus.

-Your are not required to sit with your house during meals and many like to eat outside the cafeteria.

- Students are only required to dorm with their house until 3rd year. During the summer before their 4th year they and other friends regardless of house can apply to share a room together.

9

Beer of the night

Today Sheila, my parents, and I watched Jack play in his final ultimate Frisbee tournament. He graduates next month so that’s it.

Ella and Oliver joined us at the fields. Ella brought her Frisbee. Between games she “helped” the guys warm up.

The beer is Foreclosure Recession Proof Ale from Bank Brewing of Hendricks, MN. It is another beer aged in used whiskey barrels.

Several of Jack’s teammates are staying at our house this weekend. We live much closer to the fields than their school. Sheila fixed dinner for all. Oliver and Carson are a bit wary of all the strangers in the house. However they are starting to understand all these new people will pet them (and scratch Carson’s butt). Ella is not so shy as she makes the rounds, aggressively making sure everyone pays attention to her.

Lover Boy (Kurt Wagner)

fword count: 2, 505

summary: Kurt realizes Y/N understands and speaks perfect German.

tagging: @slatgirl , @fearthedietcoke

a/n: Scott’s a bit of a dick, but we love him. Kurt is a pure mutant and we love him. Also, Jean and Jubilee being the best girlfriends and Ororo stated to being one bmf…AND, the German written was used with Google Translate soo…yeah

Keep reading

schoolboy! jeno

wA$$UP GUYS SORRY IVE BEEN AWAY FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS LOL LETS JUST START


- aight 

- so

- you guys go to the same school but don’t really know each other 

- actually, you never heard of jeno but he never heard of you so-

- but then

- during ultimate frisbee tryouts, you accidentally throw a frisbee at his face

- so y'all need to go to the nurses

- “oMFGS ARE YOU OKHJH”

- “ya,,,,,just a lil bloody”

- “a liTTLE BIT? YOUR NOSE IS BLEEDING BUCKETS AND IM PRETTY SURE I SEE A BLACK EYE COMING ALONG”

- somehow u both made the team

- so like y'all became pretty close

- even tho u threw a frisbee at his face in your first encounter

- anyway

- so u guys become close right, like close enough to go to each others houses n shit

- cause u b struggling with homework and needs ya homeboi to help u

- n secretly he realized he liked u

- like one day, he just noticed u

- you know what I’m saying

- like, he saw your beauty for all its worth, and since then, he’s been totally in love w u

- its pretty obvious

- during practice n tournaments, he only passes to u

- and always compliments you-

- “niCCCCCE FLICKKKKK”

- “jeno thats like ur 9839893th time saying it to me, i think i get it”

-” bUt itS SoO gOOd!!!!!!”

- lol dis boi has no chill

- everyone on the team knows

- even you (he doesn’t know that part tho)

- so they plan on getting u two together

- and so jaemin being jenos bff aside from u

- creates this masterplan on getting yall’s together by “accidentally” throwing a frisbee at jeno’s face 

- plan doesn’t work though cause u just laugh at him while he n jaemin start chucking discs at each other

- plan b was to “accidentally” trip jeno and you would help him

- but nope, you didn’t help him. you laughed at him

- literally after like 83983983 plans

- jaemin just told u that jeno liked you

- honestly he gave up

- but its ok tho cause you like him back

- so then jaemin spilled da beans to jeno who

- was!!!so!!!happy!!!!

- and now calls b wheeling

- bUT!!!!

- jeno gets the courage to ask you out

- its the most glorious thing you’ve ever seen

- just imagine jeno stuttering while holding roses and looking down at the ground 

- hOW COULD YOU SAY NO TO THAT SWEETIE PIE

- time skip 2 months

- y'all r now that couple

- like the one everyone wants

- but can’t have

- like you guys walk to and from school together

- walk to your next classes together

- do everything together

- FIRST KISS OMGOMGOMGOMGOG

- ok so ofc its related to frisbee

- it was the city championships rite

- and y'all were, catch this:

- ONE POINT AWAY FROM WINNING (y'all were at your 14th point)

- and jeno wasn’t on the same shift as u

- which made him sad

- but 

- you were in the end zone

- and the handler throws you the frisbee cause u made a really nice cut and deeked out your defender

- but the throw was too high

- so yOU JUMPED HELLA HIGH

- AND CAUGHT IT WIHT ONE HAND

- WHOOP WHOOP YO TEAM WON

- so then jeno like rushes onto the field

- and kisses u

- right there

- in front of everybody

- u didn’t care tho

- caUS EJENO WAS KISSING YOU

- I REPEAT

- JENO WAS KISSING YOU

- goals

- yo storytime

- when u met

- HIS PARENTS

- okokokok so

- he invited you over one day (by the way YOU NEVER MET HIS PARENTS BEFORE FOR SOME REASON OK THEY WORKED LATE)

- and y'all were cuddling on the couch while playing mario kart or smth

- thEN aLL oF a suDDEn 

- his parents like barge into the house

- but freeze when they see you

- “,,,,,,jeno,,,,is this the girl you always talked about?”

- “mo-,,,,,ya”

- “uSE PROTECTION HONEY WE WILL JUST GO RUN SOME ERRANDS”

- “dAAAAAAD”

- lol how old r y'all again? like 17 lol

- anyway u and jeno like couldn’t look at each other

- for a solid hour

- but its ok

- yOUR PARENTS THEN INVITE U TO HIS HOUSE 4 DINNER!!!!

- UHM YES OFC U AGREE

- the mom tries to be all overprotective

- but she soon realizes that ur an innocent lil rice bun that doesn’t mean harm :(

- moving on

- jeno luvs u sm like kjskcdfhdcsxchfnsxjdms he is gonna go all out for u

- he spoils u to death

- and just

- uGHAHHHGSVSG

- appreciate him pls


AIGHT GUYS ITS DONE

IT IS LIKE A DATING AU BUT IDK ANYMORE B YE

HBDHCDJSDJHDJ SORRY ITS RUSHED AF I FELT BAD BAOUT NOT UPDATING

BYEEEE

Ultimate pickup lines

aka how to make your frisbae swoon:

“You must be a cutter because you’re too cute to handle.”

“I’d no-contest your strip any day.”

“Was that a layout because you absolutely floor me.”

“Did you throw that back in bounds because I think you’re the Greatest.”

“I won’t call disc space for your mark, babe.”

“Wanna see my version of man offense?”

“You must be a deep because you catch everything I throw.”

Civil War

Summary: You and Dean don’t see eye to eye when it comes to comic book universes. 

Word Count: 1377

Warnings: None

Pairing: Dean x Reader

This is my entry for @jaredpadasexyy ‘s Easter Challenge. This was beta-ed by @avasmommy224.

Prompt: 20. “Marvel is better than DC”


Your name: submit What is this?

You were sitting in your room watching a movie. Which movie? Only the best cinematic masterpiece of all time: “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”. You had just gotten to the highway scene. Cap and the Winter Soldier were going hand to hand, blow for blow. Even though you had seen this movie a million times, you still found yourself on the edge of your seat.

Cap had just ripped the Winter Soldier’s mask off and revealed his face.

“Bucky?”

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

You couldn’t help but say the line in sync with Bucky and let out a little squeal as it was one of your favorite lines in the movie. And as luck would have it, Dean happened to be walking by at that exact moment.

“What are you squealin’ at?”

Your finger hit the pause button on the remote. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

Dean gave you a suspicious look as he took at seat on the other side of your bed. “If it’s nothing, then why’d you pause it?”

You turned to him with an irritated look on your face. How dare he intrude on your quality time with your two husbands? “Because I would like to watch it alone.”

“Why? Is there a dirty scene coming up?” Dean said raising his eyebrows.

“God no! I just enjoy the movie more on my own, that’s all.”

Dean gave you another suspicious look, this one more teasing.

“Yeah, sure” he said doubtfully “I believe that.”

“It’s true!”

He put his hands up in surrender, “I believe you, I swear! Cross my heart and everything.”

You rolled your eyes as you unpaused your movie and turned back to it. Dean moved closer as he started to watch the movie as well. After a few minutes into the resumed movie, you turned to him only to see a confused look etched on his face.

You looked back at the television, trying to decipher what could’ve caused his confusion and came up with nothing.

“So what’s so special about him?”

“What?”

“Captain America. All he has is the power of ultimate frisbee.”

You feigned a gasp, touching a hand to your heart, “How dare you!”

“I’m just saying,” he shrugged, “ He doesn’t have any powers and the only weapon he has is that stupid shield. He’s just another buff dude punching bad guys.”

“Oh and your precious Batman is so much better? He’s a vigilante with abandonment issues.”

“So what?”, his voice getting louder, “He kicks ass, point blank period. How can you like Captain America over Batman?”

“Because Marvel is better than DC.” You said this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Bullshit!”, he said standing up abruptly.

“It’s not bullshit,” you said standing up as well, “It’s a fact!”

This continued for 10 minutes until Sam walked by and heard the screaming match.

“What the hell is going on in here?”

You both took a breath then directed your screaming at Sam, trying to explain your point and throwing jabs at each other.

“Enough!”

You and Dean both went silent glancing at each other, then looking down at your shoes like children that have been reprimanded for being too loud.

“Now,” Sam started after a long pause “What is the problem?”

Before either of you could speak and start screaming again, he held up his hand. “ Y/N, you first.”

“Aww, come on!”

Sam gave Dean his bitch face at his outburst before looking at you for you to speak.

“Well,” you started, “I was just in here minding my own business and watching my movie, when someone” you said pointedly “Decided to interrupt me. And I can feel you rolling your eyes Dean.”

“That’s because you’re being ridiculous.”

“How am I being ridiculous?”

“We are not starting this again” Sam said wiping a hand down his face.

“She’s not telling the whole story.”

“Then what is the whole story?”

Dean crossed his arms. “She said, and I quote, ‘Marvel is better than DC’.”

Sam looked at him with a confused face. “So?”

“So?!”, Dean asked incredulously, “What do you mean so?! DC has Batman and Superman. You know, real superheroes. Unlike Marvel where everyone has to go through an experiment gone wrong to be a hero.”

“At least our films are better!”

“In what universe?”

“In all of 15 of Marvel’s!”

“Whatever.” Dean said waving you off, “Our movies are amazing.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

You turned to him fully now, looking him dead in the eye, “Batman Vs. Superman.“

“It was great!”

“It was trash!”

“Says who?”

“Says ‘Rotten Tomatoes’.”

“Oh and Marvel’s so much better according to them, huh?”

“Don’t make me pull out receipts! I will pull up their website so quick-”

“THAT’S IT! Conversation over!” Sam grabbed Dean by the collar of his flannel and hauled him out the room.

“I’m not done!” Dean yelled.

“Well I am!” Sam responded, not breaking his stride out of the room.

You stood there after the door closed for a moment, wondering what the hell just happened. You didn’t dwell for long, anxious to get back to your movie without interruption.


After your movie had finished, you decided to walk around the bunker to stretch your legs. As you rounded the corner to the library, you saw Dean sitting at them table reading lore. You sat down across him, knowing that it was stupid to ignore him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“So…we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Good.” You looked around the room, not sure of what to do or say.

“Can I ask one thing?”

“Is it going to start another argument?”

Dean shook his head, “No, I’m just curious about something.”

You leaned back in your chair as you braced for his question, “Shoot.”

“What makes you like Marvel more than DC?”

“Dean…”, you sighed.

“No, I really want to know! I’m not going to judge, just tell me.”

You began to pick at the bottom of your shirt, getting ready to go into detail about how your love for these superheroes came to be.

“Well, when I was younger I was kind of an outcast. I was one of five black kids in my entire school, but I could never really connect with them because I wasn’t ‘black enough’.” You said the last part with air quotes and looked up to Dean, expecting the normal look of pity you usually got. To your surprise, that’s not what you got. Instead you saw a look of interest in Dean’s eyes, him waiting for you to continue. So you did.

“I found friends in comic books. Marvel to be exact. Then high school came around, and my mom wanted me to be more social. There was a comic book club and I decided to join. I was a little nervous because not only was I the only black kid in the club, but I was the only girl. I thought I was setting myself up to be another outcast, but I was wrong.”

A smile graced your face as the memories came flooding back.

“It was then that I realised that nerds are one of the most accepting people in the world,” you said with a slight chuckle. Dean had a smile on his face as you continued to talk about all the good times you had in the club and all the friends you made. Seeing your face light up did something to him.

Once you realised you had been rambling, you became embarrassed. Dean didn’t need to know all of that, and he probably didn’t care. Oh how wrong you were. Dean could listen to you talk for hours and never tire of it.

“Well maybe I should give Marvel a chance.”

“Really?”, you said with hope. Having Dean possibly share your love of Marvel made you unbelievably excited.

“Really.”

“Well I have all of the Marvel movies here if you want to have a marathon or something?”

Dean looked at you with a large smile, “That sounds like a good idea.”

You both stood up from the table and began to walk towards your room.

“I think you’ll like ‘Guardians of the Galaxy’. Oh, and and ‘Deadpool’! Definitely ‘Deadpool’. I see a little ‘Wade’ in you.”

“Who’s Wade?”

“You’ll see.”


Tagging for reading list purposes:

@just-another-busy-fangirl @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid @deathtonormalcy56

@27bmm

anonymous asked:

Hi guys. Im-just-a-reaction here. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for trying to pick a fight with you. Sometimes my feelings are easily hurt and I am insecure about my race, causing me to lash out at others. I feel really bad about calling you a funnyman earlier when your blog is full of good content. Together we can spread positive messages about white culture and play Ultimate Frisbee 101. How about we hug it out in synchronized synergization?

Thanks for the confession, @im-just-a-reaction. I know that you’re insecure about your race and not being able to tame the terrible Tero, but that’s no reason to feel left out!

Better than even Ultimate Frisbee 101, why don’t you join us in the Synergy Sensory Deprivation Tank as we contemplate the importance of boardroom meetings? One of our interns just finished her orientation and dare I say she looks even more chipper than usual!

-S3NATOR

an atla au to consider: ultimate frisbee team

disclaimer: i do not know that much about ultimate frisbee

there can only be seven players on the field at one time but the team can be as large as it wants. so it’s going to be a GIANT team consisting of aang, katara, sokka, toph, suki, zuko, azula, mai, ty lee, jin, and the rest of the kids. iroh is their coach.

aang somehow always has the wind on his side. like whenever he throws the frisbee, it’s like the wind guides the frisbee to the person he’s throwing to. some say he can bend the wind to his will, but aang just says he’s lucky.

mai is probably the best thrower, though you’d need a good catcher because mai throws hard and fast and precise.

katara is just the catcher you need, and she’s good because she can catch and throw again in the blink of an eye, almost like she’s helping it flow like a river.

sokka’s throws somehow always end up coming back to him due to the wind or just how he throws it. he begins to use this to his advantage, and calls the move the “boomerang throw”.

toph’s good at catching, cause she can hear the whistle of the frisbee and somehow feel people’s footsteps in the ground. it’s like she has a connection to the ground.

zuko once threw the frisbee into a trash can during a game. but he’s pretty good generally.

ty lee is an incredibly good defense because she’s best at blocking the other team’s players. she weaves in front of them, making it impossible for them to make a good throw. and then they do throw the frisbee, it’s off and clumsy and ty lee’s team can easily get it.

out of all of them, azula has hit the most people in the head with the frisbee. usually it’s people from the other team, but sometimes her own teammates get hit as well. she and sokka are the best strategists.

suki was actually the one who suggested an ultimate frisbee team in the first place, having an interest in the sport. at first, the team was just aang, katara, sokka, toph, and suki playing for fun. but then they gathered more members, and found a coach (iroh) and now they compete. oh, and their team is called the flying bisons.