People are what behavioral economists call strong reciprocators and altruistic punishers. Humans are wired for reciprocal cooperation: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine, etc. […]
Modern society is a vast intricate web of cooperation.
But cooperation also creates the potential for cheaters, for those who don’t reciprocate and keep their end of the bargain. Humans are thus also wired to be altruistic punishers—not altruistic in a nice sense, but altruistic in the sense that they will punish people, even to their own harm, to enforce fairness. Behavioral economists show this through a well-known experiment called the Ultimatum Game, in which one person is given some money (say $100) and asked to offer a share of it to another person (say $20). If the second person accepts the offer, both keep the money, but if he or she rejects it, both get nothing. The rational solution is to accept any offer except $0, as even $1 is better than nothing. But experiments on thousands of subjects around the world show that offers below around 30 percent are typically rejected, thus harming both individuals.
The reason the Remain camp lost was that they didn’t understand the game they were playing. They thought they were playing a rational game, appealing to people’s pocketbooks and sense of security. They fought their campaign with facts and figures and by highlighting the risks of Brexit. But the voters were playing the Ultimatum Game. Leave understood this and fought with promises to “take back control.” Like the Remain campaign, Hillary Clinton is also playing the rational game, appealing to voters’ economic and security self-interest. Donald Trump is the weapon of the altruistic punishers.
I would have liked it more if Buffy hadn’t had to choose at all. They were definitely going for drama more than consistency. I find it hard to believe that Season 4 Riley would have ever forced her into such a ridiculous ultimatum (I’m a Riley apologist, sorry). If they had to go that route, Buffy should have been like, “screw this, I’m going to the Bronze with the girls”.
The choice was unavoidable because the ultimatum was made. If she’d made the decision to break up with him or if she had just said “screw this, I’m going to the Bronze”, she would have still been making the decision not to go after Riley.
Hey, don’t apologize for being a Riley apologist! But I have to disagree with you on the idea that Season 4 Riley wouldn’t have forced Buffy into an ultimatum. That’s pretty much what he did on Doomed - where he made a lot way off-base remarks regarding Buffy’s nature and personality.
Can't believe Blake gives Gwen an ultimatum kind of in GAABMH. Like you CAN'T tell me we'll just be friends & perhaps try some other time. He was on fire for her. It's then or never. For all the talk about how much he LOVED his ex, he moved on FAST!
I think it’s more of an emotional putting the cards on the table rather than an ‘ultimatum’ (I don’t think it’s a ‘you can’t do this’, but ‘I can’t do that given how I feel’, tbh), but yeah, he was in DEEP. As was she, judging by her own lyrics. I can’t even handle those dumbass hyponotized eyes graphics for her backdrop for Obsessed, lol…
I was actually listening to one of his Christian radio interviews earlier today, and we get a nice chunk of timeline in it. And a nice chunk of how hurt he was. I think it’s sometimes easier for the non-guilty party to move on first, actually, even if it’s done out of a need to bury the pain or whatever.
About this time last year, maybe last April, actually, now that I think about it [talk about the rain in Oklahoma] … I woke up one morning and I was laying in bed and, like we all do, I was laying there thinking about the dream that I’d had that night. And I remembered in my dream, there was a song [more talk of dream] … You know, things were starting to, were starting to get bad with my marriage at that point, uh, uh, to Miranda, and by the time it got to be June or July - really, July - it became obvious that there was no fixing it. And I remember throughout that time in my life, I sang that song to myself. Everyday I would walk around singing that. [I] never really thought about it too much and finally one day, I thought, ‘What is this song? What is the deal?’ And I was so depressed, and I remember thinking, ‘You know what it is? I’m so pathetic and I’m so sad and depressed and low that even God looks at me and feels pitiful for me and is sad for me and cries when he sees me, it’s so bad.’ And as things started getting better.
I didn’t officially get FIRED, but was given an ultimatum: either I get written up for the thing I did (which I will get to) and it would get sent to the district manager (which would get me fired anyway) ORRRR “I want your resignation right now.” I was put in a corner.
NOW FOR WHAT I DID???
Remember this post? And remember when I learned that I was just a credit short of graduating (literally two days ago)? And how all my friends hit me up and I posted all the nice messages because I was having a shitty day?
They read the part where my friend asked where I had been because he dropped off a birthday gift and hadn’t seen my reaction yet and the part where I just said, I hadn’t been at work because I wasn’t scheduled that week. And that because I have three jobs, I’ll soon be leaving.
My manager FLIPPED when she read those two parts. LITERALLY was damn near crying because I had said I hadn’t been at work and that I’d be leaving - which btw, was no secret among coworkers.
She said she was heartbroken and frustrated with me and couldn’t take it anymore. Let me make clear that I have no bitter feelings towards most of my coworkers, I loved that job to death, but someone reported that post because of the two things I said. It’s ridiculous.
I’m really sad for a lot of reasons. I loved that job and had been doing really well the last couple of shifts. I’m bummed that I had to leave on such a sour note.
I defended myself saying I really didn’t understand what I did. She just said that my messages to my friend sounded “bitter” which is totally subjective and unprofessional. Guys, I just explained that I hadn’t been working, I don’t understand the big deal.
And when I brought up that other people had been violating policies and asked how come she never takes my word for it, she replied, “I trust my managers.”
I WAS LIKE WTFFF, I literally started like a month after she did, I had been there YEARS longer than some of the current managers. It used to be a place where managers and associates were on the same professional level but now there are clear double standards and the place really warped for me.
Tbh it was probably long overdue, but I convinced myself I was happy there. I didn’t do it for the money, almost five years there and I only got a total of like a 60 cent raise. I loved it for non monetary reasons. I was GOOD at it.
Does your husband know about your ED? If yes, how did you tell him? How does he cope with it?
Yes he knows about it. But since I am not really acting on my thoughts now, and I mostly choose not to tell him about the chaos in my head, he doesn’t know the extent it affects me.
As to how I told him, a lot of things happened before I finally spoke with him about it. My friends staged somewhat of an intervention on both me and him separately. And they gave me an ultimatum that I needed to talk to him about what was going on or else they would, so in the end I did.
He copes with it by handing over the money for therapy each week, and just accepting that I’m funny over food. He doesn’t comment on my weirdness around food and I no longer feel I have to hide it from him, which feels good. I do manage to let him support me sometimes, which has been a big step.
When my parents were horrible to me after my assault and I snapped and told them how they had made me feel, I was forced to beg for forgiveness. Because I was impolite I my entire family held me in ultimatum that I had to bed forgiveness for feeling hurt and angry. And I did all that and I still don’t feel like I’ve been given any kind of meaningful apology from them for how they made me feel. Not any kind of apology which makes me feel like they know what they did wrong. Not any kind of apology which makes me feel better.
It’s like people are walking all over me and then being out raged that I complained about it instead of being a well behaved rug.
That’s so fucking messed up.
When people are angry, it is valid. It’s not easy to witness someone being angry at you and it’s valid to want some concern for how you feel, But That Should Not Be Your Priority In That Moment. Address why they feel angry or hurt or betrayed first, and then afterwards prioritise how the confrontation made you feel.
""It might be the impetus for Disney to give him the ultimatum he needs."" Wait, I'm confused. I thought Disney/Marvel were already behind the TIP rumors and putting an end to this. I thought that they are the ones who do the erasing (like Renner's wife) but now BC is going to be issued the ultimatum to do the dirty work? So much for The Rat being behind the clean up.
They are. But for some reason, Sophie keeps hanging in there…I wonder if UTA is helping her?
I’m not the girl your mom, and your friends warn you about. I’m not cold, and I’m not reckless. I won’t kiss your best friend, or break your heart. I won’t make you choose me. I won’t make you choose me over what you love. I won’t give you ultimatums. I’m smart, I know my worth and I know what I want. I know I’m a brat, and I have an attitude, but I have a huge heart, and I will stand by your side. Pick me. Choose me. Please.
I feel it so often I don’t know how it feels.
Being loved so deeply and then it’s over
but it lingers.
How does it linger? It feels halfway,
a flower with the potential to reach full bloom
but never got the proper sunlight,
an almost there,
but it settles as a unreachable sensation
I so desperately want to access.
He loves me, I know this.
He never wanted me to go,
never thought he’d ever be forced to substitute me with anyone else,
and there is no one else that knows him,
talks to him,
and really understands him.
I love him, he knows this.
I wanted to avoid our many problems,
don’t speak it,
it’s not there,
ignorance is bliss,
but then he spoke the ultimatum: when i leave,
if I leave,
it’s all or nothing.
He chose nothing,
I thought it was over,
I was ready for it to be over,
but he also said we’d always come back to each other.
we always seem to.
but he’s still talking, and I’m still listening,
drunken on his words.
break through this window and run until fall.
Summer was auctioned off to the lowest bidder.
Promises flashing under the thin veil.
The brief recipe of the rented potpourri.
The remoteness of kaleidoscope sex.
The rusted plumbing, the lethargy of running ichor.
The iron populates her inner vinegar.
The sunset remorse of a charcoal sari.
The fleshless handouts, chief among the brittle.
The hunger pains costing very little.
I will be thrown out or the summer sets.
yo Jasper certainly can be said to have coerced Lapis into a fusion but it can't be said that she trapped Lapis for months since everyone in the show has acknowledged that Lapis was the one keeping Jasper trapped. Jasper is responsible for a lot of bad things but she never trapped Lapis in anything for months on end.
coercion IS entrapment, for one damn thing. secondly lapis’ ‘choice’ was let her and her friend be killed by Jasper, or be trapped at the bottom of the ocean to buy time and safety to the only person she knew she could trust. That’s not a choice, that’s an ultimatum.
And anyways: I’m an actual abuse survivor and if I had the opportunity to lock up my abuser at the cost of my own safety to keep my friends safe, to keep them from abusing and exploiting other people, I absolutely would. Forcing Lapis to choose between death of a loved one and continued captivity is an abuse tactic and I honestly cannot believe you waltzed into my askbox acting like Lapis is the one abusing Jasper by not letting her kill the Crystal gems and/or take them back to Homeworld where they would be killed. Fuckin’ hell.
finally collected myself from the harsh reality I’d been dealt, I stayed in my
room to contemplate my next move. Roughly 2 hours had past since I was given
the financial ultimatum and I’d mentally battled with several ideas. Every one
of them seemed farfetched and as I willed myself to stop thinking about them, I
glanced over at my ringing phone devastated that she was calling me.
“Why! Of all the times I would have liked
to speak to my mother happily, she decides to call me now,” I painfully gritted.
i have a personal blog but i never use it and just post whatever i want on here cause for starters i cant be bothered to log into a whole other account then theres the fact that no one on there really acknowledges me just reads my posts to be nosy which im fine with because attention is attention but then finally the fact that i originally made it to have a place to vent about luca’s abuse without him attacking me (he would keep tabs on my blog which i could prove by looking at stat-counter even though he denied it) and threatening me with ultimatums whenever i so much as made a post vaguely about him deems it unnecessary on a certain level since we arent in contact anymore but at the same time i like the concept of having a small safe place with only a few over a handful of my most trusted mutuals that will listen to my hardships or just my thoughts or even just my gay ass talking about how in love i am. idk. i feel like my personal blog is a good idea as a concept but irl its not effective the way i need it to be. this blog is more suited to my needs in a lot of ways. but my personal also has a lot of perks (more privacy, i dont have to filter myself, a sense of safety, an outlet for my thoughts where i wont get a million anons telling me to shut the fuck up and get over myself or even worse genuine positivity thats just nauseatingly sweet so i feel forced to pretend to feel better for their sake) anyways no one is reading this by now im pretty sure cause no one ever really reads my posts like this unless it starts with “im killing myself” cause yall always seem to love my suicide notes for some reason which is weird and kinda disturbing but anyways goodnight
I was the girl that always got cheated on. I’m not much to look at, my boobs are saggy and despite my best efforts I could keep a man. The thing was though it always turned me on to know my boyfriends were having hot sex with gorgeous women. I thought that would change when I met my husband. He was sweet and nice, but a few years into our marriage I found out he was fucking a girl from work. When confronted he didn’t even try to deny it.
“if the sex with you was better and if you took care of yourself maybe I’d want to fuck you” I was devastated but also turned on. I found out he cheated on me while we were dating too! So he gave me an ultimatum - I could leave or stay and live with it.
Here I am 9 years into our marriage and he’s having a great sex life.