uh i'm not satisfied with this but

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“You really wanna head back out there, huh?”

Llamas with Hats starter meme
  • There's a dead human in our house.
  • I do not kill people. That is- that is my LEAST favourite thing to do.
  • And I, uh, well I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.
  • Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I suck.
  • My stomach was making the rumblies that only hands would satisfy.
  • You sunk an entire cruise ship.
  • I would think I would remember something like that.
  • Would you believe it's strawberry milkshake?
  • I will not apologize for art.
  • Looking at the trajectory of the moon and the sun, probably at the bottom of the ocean.
  • I have a problem. I have a serious problem.
  • Shh, do you hear that? That's the sound of forgiveness.
  • That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.
  • I don't know about you but I am having a wonderful time here.
  • The people have spoken. Viva la resistance!
  • That was a foot. I appear to have swallowed an entire person.
  • Well, that explains why my mojito is taking so long...
  • It was horrifying. Your mouth unhinged like a snake.
  • That hurt my feelings. Now we're BOTH in the wrong.
  • Well, I'm building a meat dragon, and not just ANY meat will do.
  • I feel like I've been issued a challenge.
  • I totally don't remember your name.
  • Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some pictures to delete from my computer.
  • I'm not responsible for this. I've been jamming on the saxophone all morning.
  • Clue number 1- the imposter is a phantom.
  • What's that? It's hard to hear you over the sound of a melting city.
  • I ripped the tag off a mattress.
  • Who's laughing? Clearly not all the people who just exploded.
  • Friendship is two friends munching on a well-cooked face together.
  • You're right, it's not nearly as tasteful as I pictured in my head.
  • Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.
  • It's a lovely day out, we're having a great time, what have you done.
  • I stepped on a ladybug by accident.
  • I may have created a crack in space-time.
  • I think I was expecting worse.
  • But this is totally fucked, bro!
  • I don't understand how or why you do anything!
  • And the payment is baby hands.
  • I'm the Henry Ford of human meat.
  • It's not a meat grinder, it's an orphan stomper.
  • It's everything. Everything you've done, ever.
  • That looks like a meat dragon.
  • Did you finish your meat dragon?
  • Now how would you feel if I called your work a monstrosity?
  • Of course I had to use faces. Anything else would be disrespecting the art.
  • I disagreed with the election results.
  • I think their bodies are still in my blood canal.
  • You're sitting. You never sit.
  • Pianos aren't supposed to bleed and scream!
  • Why can't you go horrify someone else?
  • You made a mask of my face?
  • To some, you are now known as Nikolai Sponakoff, brutal leader of the Russian opium cartel.
  • I used up the rest of my savings buying the swans.
  • I buried a large chest of dubloons once, I could go dig that up.
  • A lot of something is in a hole somewhere.
  • I'm putting on some music. I'm not listening anymore.
  • I think I would have remembered dismembering someone and putting all their bits on the ground right here.
  • You said you weren't coming back.
  • I'm kind of just freestyling it these days.
  • Oh, it's my gore pit.
  • I think my legs are broken.
  • That's probably a basilisk. It probably won't bother us. The stupid thing only eats CHIPOTLE!
  • Were you always this creepy?
  • All the hands are eaten, all the meat creatures are made, unleashed, and then also eaten...
  • Yelling. Also a felony.
  • I'm sorry if this violates your restraining order, but it's important.
  • Oh, hey. I didn't do that...
drift + drown - (saeran x reader)

summary: you can drift in the water or you can drown in his eyes.

rating: 13+ (uh, usual spoilers, I suppose, and SMOOCHING)

notes: the ‘character’ you assume is not the mystic messenger mc- if anything she’s probably the same character from this supposedly long saeran fic i’m currently working on, so in a sense it’s au i guess (at least from my other fics). i really wanted to write a make-out scene in the pool, but the setting of that fic does not allow for it. 

execution on said scene and saeran’s character itself is questionable- especially since this is a different approach than my previous takes of saeran (where is isn’t hung up on the mc). either way, i hope you guys like it. cries. 

Keep reading

“Uh, guys, a little help here?" 

”…“

”…Yeah, about that, none of us are doing so well either, Jensen.“ 

Hi iamdefinitelyahomosexual! I was your RvB Secret Santa. Sorry this is really late, but I hope you like it nonetheless. I know how much you like the lieutenants, but I didn’t have a lot of time to draw all of them, so I drew Lieutenant Jensen getting stuck in holiday lights. The rest of the lieutenants are probably off somewhere else, also equally being defeated by holiday lights. 
Hope you had a great holiday, and happy new year!