uh i said i wouldn't but i did this before so yeah

  • Sakura: I know someone who has a crush on you ;)
  • Naruto: Is it-
  • Sakura: Not me, baka.
  • Naruto: Oh... Who, then?
  • Sakura: Well I promised I wouldn't tell but... If you guess who it is, it's won't be a problem, right?
  • Naruto: Uh right! Right! Give me a hint!
  • Sakura: This person has pale skin, and black hair, and they're from a very old, powerful clan
  • Naruto: Um...
  • Sakura: Also, when we were in the academy, they were always watching you, though you never seemed to notice
  • Naruto: Eto...
  • Sakura: They have a rare bloodline limit
  • Naruto: *scratches his head and squints*
  • Sakura: It gives them very special eyes
  • Naruto: So, you're telling me this person... *counts on his fingers, muttering* and they... Aha! I get it.
  • Sakura: Finally
  • Naruto: Hehe, Sasuke, that bastard must be pretty embarrassed
  • Naruto: Oh well, I guess it makes sense
  • Naruto: Though it's weird that we're both guys...
  • Naruto: Don't tell him I said this, but I always thought he was really pretty, not like a girl, just, um, in a different way
  • Naruto: And he's really cool, but, but sweet too, like awkward in a cute way when he tries to be nice. Plus we understand each-other.
  • Naruto: Even though we fight a lot- hell, even fighting with him is really fun.
  • Naruto: And those times we kissed... They were an accident, but damn, that bastard had soft lips. I wonder if- uh *blushes* never mind.
  • Naruto: All things considered, it could be a lot worse
  • Naruto: I wonder if I should ask him out on- Sakura-chan?
  • Sakura: It's- It's-
  • Naruto: Sakura-chan, your eye is twitch-
  • Sakura: HINATA
  • Naruto: What?
  • Sakura: HINATA, SHE'S THE ONE WHO- HINATA, SHE'S A GIRL, SHE'S ALWAYS- THE CHUNIN EXAMS, NEJI'S COUSIN, YOU CAN NOT BE THIS DENSE, BAKA NARUTO!
  • Naruto: ...
  • Sakura: ...
  • Naruto: I don't get it. What does Hinata have to do with Sasuke and me?
  • Sakura: You know what, never mind. Yeah, take him out to eat ramen. Figure out how you'll revive his clan together while you're at it. It's not going to be easy since you're both guys, but when was anything ever easy for you two? It never stopped you before.
  • Sakura: Kami-sama, I tried. I really did. I'll leave the rest up to you.
  • Naruto: Sakura-chan, you're not making any sense. Where are you going? Oi, Sakura-chan!
Beautiful - Taehyung

Warnings: mild dirty talk, mild body worshiping, oral, fingering

Request: “Hello :) 152 + 158 with Taehyung? Thank you so much 💕”

152. “Are you wearing my shirt?”
158. “I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow.”

Word Count: 951

Genre: Smut

•·.··.·• •·.··.·•

He was late - again.

Taehyung slowly opened the front door to your house, making sure he was as quiet as possible in hopes of not waking you up, but little did he know you were wide awake and waiting for him. Quietly closing the door, he slipped off his shoes and set down his bag, sighing in relief at his success at entering your home undetected.

“Hey,” You said as you peered around the corner of the hallway, your eyes immediately gluing to Taehyung’s stiff figure.

“U-Uh… um, Y/N. I-I didn’t know you were…” He stuttered, but you brusquely finished his sentence.

“Awake?” You raised your eyebrows, almost as if to tease his flustered state. “Tae, you said you were gonna come home at 9:00. It’s almost midnight!”

“I’m sorry, jagiya. The boys practically forced me to stay longer.”

“That’s not an excuse,” You frowned as you crossed your arms in front of your chest, shifting your gaze down to the floor. You were awaiting a response, really an apology, from your boyfriend, but when you looked back up at him, you found him staring at you - or to be more specific, your shirt.

“Are you wearing my shirt?” He asked, a sudden shift of tone in his voice.

“Yeah…” You said, embarrassed that he had finally caught you in the act. He knew how you would steal and wear his shirts if you missed him, but he never actually saw you wearing one. You’d usually take it off before he returned, as the last thing you wanted was for him to see you wearing his clothes.

You were closely observing his blank stare focused on your shirt - or rather his - when he suddenly darted his eyes up to meet his gaze with yours. You could feel the wetness between your legs as his stare practically burrowed into your facial features, and then moved on to scan every other inch of your body.

Taehyung bit his lip as he looked at the way you rubbed your thighs together, knowing something was stirring up down there. After slipping off his coat and throwing it over the armrest of the couch beside him, he slowly walked over to you, backing you up into the corner of the room, his eyes never leaving yours. You felt your back press against the wall behind you, Taehyung chuckling at your bewildered reaction. You didn’t know why he was acting like this, but you definitely weren’t going to lie to yourself - you liked it.

“You know, you should wear my shirts more often,” He whispered as he lowered himself down to your shoulder, pushing off the sleeve and lightly placing a kiss on your skin. You shivered at his touch, but he didn’t take one second to stop sucking and kissing at your sensitive skin, until he dropped to his knees and parted your thighs, gently rubbing the inside of them with his warm palms. “Something tells me you need some help down here.”

“Tae…” You moaned as his fingers hooked around your now soaked panties, pulling them down in one swift movement, exposing your drenched heat. Your eyes locked and never separated, until Taehyung decided to lean forward and flick his tongue against your throbbing clit, causing you to throw your head back at the sudden contact.

“You’re so beautiful. God, your body is so fucking beautiful. You’re a fucking goddess,” He breathed against your core before bringing two of his fingers to tease at your entrance. You bit down on your lip in anticipation of the mess he was about to make of you, but he didn’t move. “Do you want this? Why don’t you beg for it, hm?”

“P-Please… Taehyung, I need- ah!” You interrupted yourself and let out a guttural moan at the sudden and rough entering of his fingers, curling them to purposefully hit a spot that practically made you scream out in pleasure.

“You’re always so wet for me, sweetheart.” He placed a soft kiss on your navel as he plunged his fingers deep into your core. His free hand roamed your shaking figure, his touch practically intoxicating you.

Taehyung flicked his tongue against your clit again, and due to your pleasant reaction, he took your moans as his cue to replace his fingers with his mouth, your lips spread apart and his tongue plunging deep into your heat.

You gasped and grabbed his hair, entangling your fingers in his locks as you pressed him closer to your hips. You could feel a tight coil beginning to form in the pit of your stomach, and as Taehyung added his fingers again, he could feel you tighten around him. He let out a low moan, the vibrations of his voice reverberating against your skin, and the feeling it sent throughout your body pushed you to your edge.

Taehyung eagerly licked up your juices, and even though you had just come, you could feel yourself tightening under his tongue once again. He stood up and pressed his lips against yours, allowing you to taste yourself. Your tongues were at a battle for dominance, but it was clear that Taehyung wouldn’t let you win, and you simply gave in to him. He pulled away, but stayed close enough to you that you could feel his blazing hot breath tickling your skin as he spoke.

“Go to the bedroom and wait for me. I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow…”

•·.··.·• •·.··.·•

Agghh so short :/ I’m sorry but I didn’t really think anything further was necessary to write

BETTER WAYS TO HAVE RESOLVED THE ISABELLA PROBLEM
  • Ed: Oswald I'm home and I got the wine
  • Oswald: oh thank god I thought you ditched me
  • Ed: I'm your friend, chief of staff, and I live here I at least owe you a dinner
  • Ed: dang this looks delicious I'm glad I got here before all this food went to waste
  • Oswald: yah cool here's a wine glass
  • Ed: but seriously I think we should call the GCPD
  • Oswald: tf why
  • Ed: at the wine place there was this woman that looked just like my gf I murdered
  • Oswald: wtf
  • Ed: and then I told her she reminded me of her because I freaked out and stuff
  • Ed: and then she told me a riddle
  • Oswald: what did you do
  • Ed: I ran so far because jfc I think Strange made another monster
  • Ed: I accidentally stole this wine in the process
  • Oswald: let's just eat and report this to the police tomorrow
  • Ed: alright what did you want to talk about
  • Or:
  • Oswald: it's a shame I don't have a plus one
  • Ed: whoa you'd invite me to the most exclusive dinner in the entire city
  • Oswald: yeah and with the top hat man on the loose who knows what could happen
  • Ed: we can land some business deals too
  • Oswald: yeah but don't you have a date
  • Ed: this is work stuff she'll understand
  • Ed: I'll wear my best green tie and maybe a hideous green suit
  • Oswald: NO ID RATHER DIE THAN YOU DRESS LIKE THAT
  • Oswald: I also wanted to talk to you about something
  • Or:
  • Ed: OSWALD WE NEED TO TALK
  • Oswald: oh god what
  • Ed: so yknow Isabella
  • Oswald: yeah
  • Ed: so I tried to break up with her personally
  • Oswald: uH HUH
  • Ed: turns out she dressed as my ex and told me I had nothing to fear AND LIKE SHE DYED HER HAIR AND STUFF OZZIE
  • Oswald: is she stupid or something
  • Ed: I mean I got really scared so I tried to leave
  • Oswald: tried?
  • Ed: she slapped me in the face
  • Ed: and put my hand on her neck and trusted I wouldn't choke her
  • Ed: I got really scared and freaked out from the memories so I pushed her choke me daddy self away from me and barely left with my life
  • Ed: I saw Gabe was in the limo outside for some reason and he drove me home
  • Oswald: wow okay I was planning on killing her but now she actually deserves it
  • Ed: you planned to WHAT
  • Gabe: it's okay boss the brakes are fine
  • Oswald: she said she wouldn't let you go so I panicked and also I had a motive of other sorts...
  • Ed: tell me I'll try to understand
  • Ruby: Oh my God! BLAKE THIS IS AMAZING!
  • Weiss: I have to agree. This is incredible.
  • Blake1: Thank you Ruby.
  • Blake2: And thank you Weiss.
  • Weiss: I have to ask. How did you manage to make your clones be able to talk?
  • Ruby: Yeah. I mean even Sun can only make his clones move around.
  • Blake3: Well, With Sun's help with my trained.
  • Blake4: I Learned that while I can control the clones movements, they don't have wills.
  • Blake5: However, From what Kai told me If I put a bit more aura into my clones so they can last and get let go of control.
  • Blake6: I am actually able to give them a bit of free will.
  • Blake7: Granted that we are the same person we think exactly a like. Making it impossible to tell us about.
  • Blake8: For a maximum of a half hour of course.
  • Blake9: However the clones last longer the few clones there are.
  • Weiss: *Looking between all the Blake.* O-okay. That was weird.
  • Ruby: Weird? Are you kidding Weiss!? THIS IS AWESOME! Oh you are like a one woman army! How many of you can you make?
  • Blake1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9: 9 in total.
  • Weiss: Alright Blake very fun. But can you please make your clone disappear? The room is kinda crowded. *she asked Blake1.*
  • Blake1: Sure but you should ask the real Blake. I'm a clone.
  • Ruby: Whoooooooa. So your clones know that they are clone. That is so cool, Blake. *Ruby said to Blake5.*
  • Blake5: Yes, Ruby. We know we are clones. Kai made sure I could tell if I'm real or not.
  • Ruby: Oh Sorry Blake, uh, clone.
  • Weiss: Wait. Which one of you is the real Blake then?
  • Blake1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9: Wouldn't you like to know. *the Blakes smirked when the door opened as Yang entered the room but stopped at the site of all the Blakes before they greeted with smiles.* Welcome back Babe.
  • Yang: ... This explained how you read that whole book series in one night. *Yang muttered.*
  • Weiss: *As Yang stared at all the Blakes, Weiss leaned over to Ruby, whispering.* I bet you Yang can't tell which is the real Blake either.
  • Ruby: Well, if we can't there is no way sis-
  • Yang: *Just then before Ruby could finish, The whiterose couple watch as Yang walked straight up to Blake7 and picked her up and said with a smile.* As Amazing as your new semblances skill is, Blakey, you'll have to wait till we get back to are bedroom tonight. Because we have a date tonight. *Yang then started to walk out the door when Weiss and ruby both shouted.*
  • Weiss/Ruby: WAIT A'SEC!
  • Yang: Huh? Wassup?
  • Ruby: How do you know you have the real Blake?
  • Weiss: That one can be a clone.
  • Blake3: They are right, Yang. I could be the real me.
  • Blake9: Or me.
  • Blake8/5/2/4: Or me.
  • Yang: Nope. This is the real Blake. *Yang stated as a matter of fact cuddling the Blake in her arms*
  • Blake7: How do you know for sure? *crossing her arms*
  • Yang: *Yang looked down and lips the Blake in her arms and smiled.* Because there can be a million of you Blakey and I will always know the kitty I fell in love with. And if you want proof. *Yang the kissed and nibbled on Blake's cat ears making her blush and yip before purring as all the clones disappeared.* Now Come. Our Date night awaits. *With that Ruby and Weiss watched Yang carry Blake away for there date.*
  • Weiss: ...
  • Ruby: ... You think we will ever be able to do that?
  • Weiss: Once we're married. Maybe.
Quiet; Prologue

Fandom: WWE

Pairing: Baron Corbin/Female Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Happy Thirst Party Saturday, everyone! Been working on this prologue for a little bit. Tagging our usual suspects, @tox-moxley, @oraclegazes, @hardcorewwetrash and @writergrrrl29. Enjoy!


Keep reading

The Three List | Barry & Iris | Script Fic
  • Barry: Hey, Iris?
  • Iris: Yeah, hun?
  • Barry: Do you remember when you were with Eddie & you told me about your 3's list?
  • Iris: My 3's list?
  • Barry: Yeah, you know, three guys you could cheat on Eddie with.
  • Iris: *snorts* oh, right. My 3 list.
  • Barry: You don't still HAVE that, do you?
  • Iris: *blinks* What?
  • Barry: Your 3 list. Do you still have it?
  • Iris: Uh...probably somewhere. Why?
  • Barry: *clears throat* I was just wondering if Oliver was still on it.
  • Iris: *smirks & crawls over to him* Babe, you know that's not a serious thing, right?
  • Barry: what do you mean?
  • Iris: *laughs* even if Oliver had given my fangirl self the time of day when I was with Eddie, I wouldn't have slept with him.
  • Barry: *blinks* you wouldn't have?
  • Iris: *laughs* Who do you think I am, Bear? You think 'he's on my three list!' would've sufficed if Eddie had caught us in bed together?
  • Barry: *blushes fiercely* No, I guess not.
  • Iris: *cups face* Babe, you've got nothing to worry about. *kisses him* You're the only one I want.
  • Barry: *after many kisses & sweet nothings whispered* But is Oliver still--
  • Iris: *rolls eyes & gets off him* oh, for crying out loud.
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, I didn't mean-
  • Iris: You most certainly did. *starts to walk away*
  • Barry: *panics* Iris-
  • Iris: Calm down. I'll be right back. *dashes up the stairs & comes back 10 minutes later* Found it!
  • Barry: *shifts towards her, eyes wide* What did you... *spots piece of paper she's holding* Oh.
  • Iris: *hands paper over* Take a look for yourself.
  • Barry: *scans list of names & frowns* He's still on it.
  • Iris: Mhmm.
  • Barry: This doesn't make me feel any better, Iris.
  • Iris: *crosses arms* that's the original list. I only updated it once, a couple months after I'd moved in with Eddie.
  • Barry: *still frowning* where's that one?
  • Iris: *makes circling motion with her finger*
  • Barry: *checks the other side* This one looks pretty much the same. I don't see-- *jaw drops*
  • Iris: *starts to grin* See something you like, hun?
  • Barry: Am...Am I...? *squeaks*
  • Iris: *nods* Mhmm.
  • Barry: I'm in the number 2 spot!
  • Iris: That's one above Oliver, I believe.
  • Barry: *still gawking* I don't understand.
  • Iris: *comes & sits next to him on the couch* After you told me how you felt when I was with Eddie, I had a lot of feelings that I didn't know how to deal with. Then when Eddie got all secretive on me I started thinking about you even more, and how my best friend would NEVER keep secrets from me the way my boyfriend was doing.
  • Barry: *winces* sarcasm is warranted.
  • Iris: in the past. *waves it off*
  • Barry: *swallows hard & nods*
  • Iris: That night when I came back to my dad's & you were there reassuring me, I felt like that was a safe place to put them. My feelings for you.
  • Barry: On your 3 list?
  • Iris: *nods* On my 3 list.
  • Barry: Did Eddie ever see it?
  • Iris: *laughs* Are you kidding? If Eddie had seen the updated version, he would've figured out what was up right away, even before I did.
  • Barry: And what was up?
  • Iris: *smiles & gently kisses him* I was in love with my best friend.
  • Barry: *has warm fuzzies* Iris...
  • Iris: So, you can keep that if you like. Oliver's name is still on it - BENEATH yours though. I don't have a need for it anymore. I haven't looked at it until today in over two years.
  • Barry: Yeah?
  • Iris: *nuzzles & kisses* yeah. You're all I want, Bear. If I can't have you, there's no one else I want. Not even a one night stand with a celebrity.
  • Barry: *smiles*
  • Iris: Do YOU have a 3 list? *raises eyebrows*
  • Barry: WHAT? *squeaks*
  • Iris: You heard me.
  • Barry: Iris.
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *sighs & then laughs* I have a 1 list.
  • Iris: *eyebrow furrow* What's a 1 list?
  • Barry: *pulls out wallet & digs out tiny scrap of paper inside & hands it to her* Same thing as a 3 list. Except mine only has 1 name on it.
  • Iris: *jaw drops when she reads it* I'M the only name on your 3 list??
  • Barry: *grins & pulls her close* Yep.
  • Iris: But of all he gorgeous celebrities, even SCIENCE NERDS, you only chose--
  • Barry: You're the only one I've wanted since the day that I met you.
  • Iris: *teary-eyed* Barry...
  • Barry: Getting a chance with you? 10 times better than any hook up with ANY celebrity.
  • Iris: *sighs contently & kisses him* I love you, Barry Allen.
  • Barry: I love you, Iris West.
  • Iris: *nuzzles & pulls away after a while* So what are you going to do with my 3 list?
  • Barry: Give it back to you. *hands it over* You decide what to do with it.
  • Iris: *grins* Mmk. *pecks him in the cheek, stands up & heads to the roaring fireplace*
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, what are you doing?! *speeds over*
  • Iris: Getting rid of it. I don't need it anymore.
  • Barry: Well, maybe you should keep it. You know, as a keepsake.
  • Iris: *eyes him suspiciously* Why do you want it?
  • Barry: *I* don't want it. It's yours. I gave it back to you. So you--
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *swallows* I mean, you ranked me ABOVE Oliver, so...
  • Iris: OHMYGOD. *rolls eyes & shoves it into his hand* You keep it. It'll be YOUR keepsake. *walks back to the couch & sits down*
  • Barry: It's not really MINE, so--
  • Iris: *gives him THE LOOK* one more word, Barry, and I WILL throw it to the flames. Not even your superspeed will stop me.
  • Barry: *nods & swallows* Right. *tucks paper into pocket & comes to sit next to her* So...
  • Iris: *raises eyebrow*
  • Barry: Now what?
  • Iris: *irritation fades away & she pulls him close, kissing him* Now I get some one-on-one time with #2 on my 3 list.
  • Barry: *pulls back after a few kisses* I thought you just said--
  • Iris: I swear to God, Barry, if you don't just kiss me--
  • Barry: *speeds them up their bedroom, drops her on the bed & takes off t-shirt, then hovers over her & kisses her, lingering*
  • Iris: *moans* Don't tell my boyfriend about this. He'll be extremely jealous.
  • Barry: *restrains groan* On my life. *mutters & kisses her again*
  • ...
  • A/N: Just did (as of 4/2/17) a bit of an edit, b/c I watched the 1.08 scene & realized it's actually called a 'three' list, not a 'threes' list. So I changed all those & added a short line to something Iris said early on.
Full transcript of Adam Lanza's 2011 radio appearance
  • BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:
  • (music fades out)
  • Host: Hello! We got the collapsible headphones here, but uh... we're back.
  • Co-Host: (inaudible) we got Greg on the phone.
  • Host: Oh! Greg. Okay. How's it going?
  • Lanza: Hi, good. Um, I'm a fan of your writing.
  • Host: Thank you.
  • Lanza: I'm sorry to bring up such an old news story, but I couldn't find anything that you said about the topic, and it seems relevant to your interests, so I thought I would bring up Travis the Chimp. Do you remember him?
  • Host: I don't.
  • Lanza: Well, um, he was a highly domesticated chimpanzee, who lived in a suburban home in Stamford, Connecticut.
  • Co-Host: Oh, yeah.
  • Host: Oh.
  • Lanza: And he was raised just like a human child, starting from the week he was born. By the time that he was fourteen years old, which would be somewhere around age twenty in human years, um...
  • Host: Uh-huh.
  • Lanza: ...he slept in a bed, he took his own baths, he dressed himself, he brushed his teeth with an electric toothbrush...
  • Host: (laughs) Really? When was this?
  • Lanza: Um... well.. (chuckles) this happened in early two-thousand-and-nine.
  • Co-host and Host: Oh!
  • Lanza: He ate his meals at a table, and he enjoyed human foods like ice cream, and used a remote control to watch television, and liked baseball games... and he even used a computer to look at pictures on the internet.
  • Host: Huh.
  • Lanza: And... (chuckles) it goes without saying that Travis was very overweight; he was two hundred pounds when he should have been around the low hundreds. And he was actually taking Xanax.
  • Co-Host: (laughing)
  • Host: Amazing.
  • Lanza: I couldn't find any information about why he was taking it, but it just seems to say a lot that he was given it at all. And, basically, I think Travis wasn't any different than a mentally handicapped human child.
  • Host: Hmm.
  • Lanza: But, anyway, one day in February 2009, he was acting very agitated, and at some point grabbed the car - his owner's - car keys, and went outside and started leaping from car to car, apparently wanting to go for a car ride. And he was acting very aggressively, so, his owner called her over to get her to help calm him down and get him to go back inside, and once she arrived, he immediately attacked her, and his owner tried to stop him, but couldn't, and she even resorted to stabbing him with a knife, but nothing worked.
  • And she said that after she stabbed him, he looked at her as if to say "Why'd you do that to me, Mom?" Because apparently that was what their relationship was like; no different than between a human mother and child.
  • So, after stabbing, she called the police, who arrived twelve minutes after the attack, at which point her friend was... pretty close to dead. And once the cruiser came up, Travis went over to it, tried to open the locked passenger door. He smashed off the side mirror, went over to the driver's door, opened it, and the cop shot him. He fled back into the house, where he went to his playroom and bled to death.
  • Host: Hmm.
  • Lanza: And... (chuckles) um, it might not seem very relevant, but I'm bringing it up because afterward, everyone was condemning his owner for, saying how irresponsible she was for raising a chimp like it was a child, and that she should have that something like this would happen, because chimps aren't supposed to be living in civilization, they're supposed to be living in the wild, among each other. But, their criticism stops there-
  • Host: Mmm-hmm.
  • Lanza: -and the implication is that there's no way that anything could have gone wrong in this life if he were living in this civilization as a human, rather than a chimp.
  • Host: Ah, indeed.
  • Lanza: Because, uh, he brings up questions about this whole process of child-raising.
  • Host: Yeah.
  • Lanza: Civilization isn't something which just happens to gently exist without us having to do anything, because every newborn child - human child - is born in a chimp-like state, and civilization is only sustained by conditioning them for years on end, so that they'll accept it for what it is, and since we've gone through this conditioning, we can observe a human family raising a human child - and I'm sure that even you have trouble intuitively seeing it as something unnatural - but when we see a chimp in that position, we immediately know that there's something profoundly wrong with the situation. And it's easy to say there's something wrong with it simply because it's a chimp, but what's the real difference between us and our closest relatives?
  • Travis wasn't an untamed monster at all. Um, he wasn't just feigning domestication, he was civilized. Um, he was able to integrate into society, he was a chimp actor when he was younger, and his owner drove him around the city frequently in association with her towing business, where he met many different people, and got alone with everyone. If Travis had been some nasty monster all his life, it would have been widely reported. But, to the contrary, it seems like everyone who knew him said how shocked they were that Travis had been so savage, because they knew him as a sweet child, and... there were two isolated incidents early in his life where he acted aggressively, but... summarizing them would take too long, so basically I'll just say that he didn't really any differently than a human child would, and the people who would use that as an indictment against having chimps live as humans do wouldn't apply the same thing to humans, so it's just kind of irrelevant.
  • Host: Uh-huh.
  • Lanza: Bu anyway, look what civilization did to him; it had the same exact effect on him as it has on humans. He was profoundly sick in every sense of the term, and he had to resort to these surrogate activities like watching baseball, and looking at pictures on a computer screen, and taking Xanax. He was a complete mess.
  • Host: Mmm-hmm.
  • Lanza: And his attack wasn't simply because he was a senselessly violent, impulsive chimp. Uhm, which was how his behavior was universally portrayed. Um, immediately before the attack, he had desperately been wanting his owner to drive him somewhere, and the best reason I can think of for why he would want that, looking at his entire life, would be that... some little things he experienced was the last straw, and he was overwhelmed at the life that he had, and he wanted to get out of it by changing his environment, and the best way that he knew how to deal with that was getting his owner to drive him somewhere else.
  • Host: Yeah.
  • Lanza: And when his owner's... owner's friend, arrived, he knew that she was trying to coax him back into his place of domestication, and he couldn't handle that, so he attacked her, and anyone else who approached them. And dismissing his attack as simply being the senseless violence and impulsiveness of a chimp, instead of a human, is wishful thinking at best.
  • Host: Mmm-hmm.
  • Lanza: His attack can be seen entirely parallel to the attacks and random acts of violence that you bring up on your show every week, committed by humans, which the mainstream also has no explanation for-and-
  • Host: No.
  • Lanza: -and, actual humans... I just- just don't think it would be such a stretch to say that he very well could have been a teenage mall shooter or something like that.
  • Host: Yeah. Yeah.
  • Lanza: And-
  • Host: Wow. Thank you, Greg.
  • Lanza: Yeah.
  • Host: That's quite a story. That's, uh, really apropos, isn't it? Travis the chimp.
  • Lanza: It's just that I'm a little surprised that I haven't heard you bring it up all because... (laughs) maybe I'm just seeing connections where there aren't any, but-
  • Host: Not at, I uh, think not. No, I just... I didn't catch that one. I didn't uh... maybe I was out of the country or something, I don't know, but I missed that it. Thanks very much, man.
  • Lanza: Thank you. Bye.
  • Host: Take care.
  • (Lanza hangs up)
Use The Spare Bedroom

Summary: Phil starts bringing boys home. Dan starts tweeting song lyrics. 

Word Count: 3436

A/N: List of songs referenced at the end. 


It started one Friday night. Dan was sprawled out on the couch. Laptop up and open to tumblr. He was settled for the night.

Then Phil came out of his room. He was in black jeans and a button up shirt.

‘I’m going out with some friends from uni.’ He announced.

'Oh.’ Dan took a few moments to process the information. 'Since when?’

'About forty-five minutes ago. I got a message and I thought why not?’

'Why not.’ Dan echoed.

'So… I’m not sure how late we’ll be out. Don’t wait up for me.’

'Ok.’

Dan didn’t normally get to bed until about 2am on a normal night. He sort of thought he would see Phil come in before he headed off to retire for the night. But at 1.30am when he was heading off there was still no sign of Phil whatsoever.

He was woken up at 3am to the sound of a door slamming.

'Sshh.’ Followed by a giggle. 'My roommate is asleep.’

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True Friends

Disclaimer: This gif does not belong to me, it belongs to the lovely person who made it ________________________________________________________________

Your name: submit What is this?

The couple was seated on the couch, Y/N being the one gazing at Calum’s blank expression to note any shift, while Luke had occupied the open space on the ottoman across from them, the air surrounding him was anxious as he awaited their inevitable answer. “So, what d’ya think?” Luke breathed out, running the palm of his hands along the seam of his jeans. Y/N looked toward Calum expectantly, awaiting his reply. Luke and her had discussed this situation at length; initially, it was uncomfortable for the two of them, since they had become close friends and the fact that she was already in a relationship, but, after months of talking about her taking his virginity, they became quite open to the idea.

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  • Blake: Mom. Dad. I have something I need to tell you.
  • Ghira: What is it sweetie?
  • Kali: You know you can tell us anything.
  • Blake: I know. It's just... This may come as a shock to you both.
  • Kali: Haha. I'm sure we can handle it.
  • Blake: *inhale* Okay... I'm not dating Sun. We are just friends.
  • Ghira: That's more along the lines of relieving new dear.
  • Kali: Ghira.
  • Blake: The reason why I only like him as a friend is because I like, no, love someone else.
  • Kali: Aaaaaaw Sweetie.
  • Ghira: Please tell me it's not any of his other teammate.
  • Blake: No dad. SHE isn't. *Looking a bit more nervous.*
  • Kali: Blake. We know you are bisexual. And we still love you no matter what. After all we knew right away that you and Ilai weren't doing late night combat training.
  • Ghira: We will always love you, Blake. Plus, Now I don't have to warning about early grandkids.
  • Blake/Kali: DAD!/GHIRA!
  • Ghira: I'm kidding. I'm kidding... Partly.
  • Blake: Sigh. Okay that answers a few things but that's not all.
  • Kali: Oh? What else is there?
  • Blake: ...
  • Ghira: Blake. You can tell us.
  • Blake: *She begins to shack with tears in her eyes.*
  • Kali: Sweetie. What's wrong? *Both her and Ghira get up and move to Blake's sides, both hugging her as she she cries.*
  • Blake: She... She saved me from Adam... And... And lost her arm because of me. *sniffle* She has done so much for me. And I left her when she needed me the most to protect her.
  • Kali: Oh honey.
  • Ghira: I'm sure she will understand. Though, I never thought Adam would attack other faun-
  • Blake: She's a human.
  • Kali: ...
  • Ghira: A... Human?
  • Blake: It's part of why I left... Adam said he would destroy everything I love... I was afraid if I stayed with Yang. He or the white fang would go after her. It's why I... I wanted to bring her here, where I thought the white fang wouldn't be but I was afraid... I was afraid that you two would be...
  • Kali: *Pulls Blake into a tight hug.* Blake. My baby girl. We love you no matter what and no matter who you love whether they be a Faunus or a human. I mean, We did start the originally to unity humans and faunus.
  • Blake: *Smiles and hugs her mom.* Thank you mom. *she then turns to her dad who is in deep thought.* Dad?
  • Ghira: ... I'm sorry Blake. *he said as she stood up.*
  • Blake: Dad? *She said with a heart broken look.*
  • Kali: Ghira? *She questioned as they watched him walk to his deck and open a drawer pulling something as he walks back over.*
  • Ghira: You said her name was Yang? As in Yang Xiao-Long? *He asked handing the object to Blake, Kali meanwhile suddenly having a look of realization.*
  • Blake: Y-yes. *She said confused taking the object realizing it was a framed picture.*
  • Ghira: Then I am sorry Blake. But The woman you love isn't just a human. *Ghira told Blake who looked at him confused before looking at the picture as she gasped. The photo showing a younger Ghira and pregnant Kali with a younger Taiyang and pregnant Raven.* She is half faunus.
  • Blake: I don't... I don't understand.
  • Ghira: What I'm saying Blake is... *Deep breath.* Our future Grandchildren have a less chance of getting your ears.
  • Blake: *Blake stared at her fathers serious expression as it slowly breaks into a chuckling smile making her laugh as well as she stands up and hugs her dad.* I'm sure they'll still look lovely.... Thank you. Both of you.
  • Kali: Of course dear. *Kali smiled hugging her husband and daughter.*
  • Ghira: We love you Blake. No matter what... I just hope She doesn't have Tai's taste for terrible puns and jokes.
  • Blake: Uh... Yeah. About that. *Ghira groans*
  • Kali: Oh I like her already.
Dive // Step Brother au // 2

 Bts Kim Taehyung

Au one shot part 2 ~ You guys really loved the first part so I had to make another.. ^^ Thank you for the feed back and notes.

Part 1 <Part 2 >  Part 3 > Part 4

Warnings? Uhh read to find out… Maybe?

~ Step siblings au ~ (M)

It was hard to stay away from a boy whom you had feelings for before your parents even came together. Especially when the boy you needed to stay away from was playing mind games with you and constantly annoying you..


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It was summer at last. The sun beat down on their backs and burned their skin, but no one minded too much; it was a small sacrifice to pay in return for no school and very little stress.

Nancy sat at the poolside, feet dragging through the light blue water. Mike and his friends, not far off, were wrestling. Max, the newest addition, was rolling her eyes. She sent Nancy an exasperated look, and Nancy smiled back in sympathy.

“Nancy! Hi!”

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When I First Said ‘I Love You’

Title: When I First Said ‘I Love You’

Pairing: Reader x Teen!Sam

Part Two of The Moment I Met You

Theme Song: Paris in June by Johnnyswim , You Make Me Happy by Caylin Cervetti (look it up in Spotify!)

Author’s Note: Here it is at last! Thank you for your patience, guys; there wouldn't be a second part if it weren’t for you :) Let me know what you think of it!

Your name: submit What is this?

“I’m home!”

Not waiting for an answer, you closed the front door and skipped your way to the kitchen. You dropped your backpack on a wooden stool by the island and opened the fridge, scanning the contents for a quick snack.

A head popped out of the corner of the room. “Hey, how was your day?” Your sister came to sit on an unoccupied stool and watched as you pulled a bottle of water and the pint of cookie dough ice cream you’d bought the day before, humming as you did.

“Great. Mrs. Hans told us to stay after class to discuss the details of next week’s exhibition,” you said, handing her a spoon while you opened the ice cream’s lid and helped yourself with a generous spoonful. “I can’t wait to start working on my project. The theme’s going to be ‘local inspiration’.”

Your sister nodded. “Cool. So, did the meeting take long?”

“Nah, just a few minutes,” you said, smiling at her. “Why?”

She pointedly looked at the clock hanging above the stove. “Your class ends at two, and it’s half past three now,” she said, an undertone in her voice. “What did you do after class?”

“You know…stuff.” You looked away, avoiding her inquisitive stare. “School stuff.”

“Yeah, right.” A cocky grin spread across your sister’s face. “You were with someone, weren’t you?”

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8

MISAWADAY 03 (02/20) - Smile or Diamond
► Flowershop AU: part 1 part 2 part 3

Sawamura has just finished his lunch and was eating a pudding that his mom packed for him that day, while making a list of the flowers that needs re-ordering, when the shop’s door opens, a customer walked towards the counter where Sawamura is still engrossed with his list.

“Excuse me, hey!” The customer called.  

Sawamura jolted, answering a muffled “Yes” as the he turned around, the spoon still on his mouth, he was a bit surprised, blinking at the customer infront of him. Blond with blue eyes, almost the same height as him. The customer stood proud, confident.

He took the spoon out of his mouth. “Sorry.” He put down the pen and clipboard and greeted, “How can I help you?”

The blond customer was staring at him. Observing, then he asked, “Is this where Kazuya bought the Red and Variegated Tulips?”

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Pathetically

A/N: I posted this before but tumblr screwed up so I’m posting it again. 

Description: Phil isn’t sure what they are any more. Then he screws up. 

Word Count: 2K


Their situation is fucked up. Like… well and truly beyond what is normal.

Phil first met Dan four years ago. At the time Dan had a girlfriend. Phil can still remember the disappointment he’d felt at that. Dan was… everything he was attracted to. Smart, funny, sarcastic, quick witted… the fact that he was also very nice to look at didn’t help Phil’s immediate crush at all.

The first year he knew Dan was confusing. There were moments. Many moments between them. And Phil wasn’t sure if he was just projecting the feelings he couldn’t seem to will away on to innocent situations, or if there was actually tension between them.

They were glances amongst conversation when no one else was paying attention. Late nights texting each other well in to early hours of the morning. It was Dan always making sure he was sitting next to Phil and nudging him at every inside joke they had (because in that first year they shared so many jokes between them).

And it could have all been innocent.

But Phil wasn’t sure.

Then, exactly a year after they had met, Dan told him.

‘Emily and I broke up.’

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anonymous asked:

(au) Ian as the ROTC leader of the school and Mickey being a pissed off parent so he goes down to the school to have a "talk" (threaten) him. He could be single, married, whatever you choose. Do with this what you will.

// ok so just for background: Mickey slept with Svetlana as a drunken dare, years ago, and she got pregnant. (She’s still a prostitute). He’s still gay but he hasn’t really ever acted on it (some casual sex maybe) and he’s closeted, but not as severely as he was on the show. He and Svetlana aren’t together, nor have they ever been. They raise Yev together but they don’t live together. And they don’t hate each other! Mickey and Ian have never met before //

// this is a total oneshot with no relation to any plotline or story I’ve written before //

Mickey was reading the paper in the kitchen when he heard the front door open. Yev always came by after his ROTC sessions on Thursday afternoons to see him. His son was usually in a good mood, but today he entered the room looking pretty downcast.

‘What’s up kid?’

Yev shrugged, opening the fridge and grabbing some juice. ‘Session was shitty,’ he said dully.

Mickey immediately got on his defence. ‘What happened? Somebody say something to you? Somebody hurt you?’

Yev came to sit opposite his father. ‘Just…these guys. It’s like they always have it out for me. I don’t expect them to be really nice or anything, I mean, it’s ROTC. But this is…something else.’

'What do they do?’

Yev’s eyes flickered to the table.

'They say stuff. About Mom.’

Mickey frowned. ‘What the fuck do they say about her?’

'They call her a - a whore. A slut,’ he said sadly. 'And they said I was an accident. They said I was a - an actual son of a bitch.’

Mickey sighed. ‘You know they’re just stupid idiots, right? Bored with their own dumb lives so they have to pick apart yours? We both know your Mom’s not a bitch.’

'That’s what I said. I said, don’t call my Mom a bitch. And then,’ he looked at Mickey, 'they said they didn’t mean my Mom when they said that. They - they meant my Dad,’ he said quietly.

Mickey didn’t say anything. He froze.

'Dad, I know you’re gay,’ Yev said gently.

He still didn’t say anything. ‘I, uh, I gotta go out,’ he said, voice tight and monotonous. He stood up to leave, to run away from this. Just like he did when he was seventeen. But Yev tugged on his arm and made him sit down again.

'No, we have to talk about this. Please,’ Yev begged. Mickey finally made himself meet his son’s eyes. They were full of worry and care. So Mickey sat down again.

'How did you know? Your Mom say something?’

Yev shook his head. ‘I’m sixteen, Dad, I’m not stupid. I see when guys come here, and I know they’re not ‘checking the pipes’ like you used to tell me. I see random shit lying around the house that doesn’t belong to us, and I know a guy left it here. I understand the innuendo-laced jokes that Mom and Mandy throw at you. And last year I - I accidentally found your DVDs,’ he said, embarrassed.

'What?’

'The porn, Dad. All guy-on-guy. I watched a bit of one, I was curious. Didn’t really do much for me, but if it does it for you, that’s fine, Dad. It’s cool. I don’t care as long as you’re alright. And you’re happy. I’m still your son and I still love you,’ Yev told him.

'Kinda feel like it’s the parent who’s supposed to say that stuff when their kid comes out to them. Not the other way around,’ Mickey said. But he pulled Yev into a firm hug. 'Thanks.’

'So anyway. I couldn’t stand to hear them talk about you and Mom like that. They called you…all sorts. But then they just kept chanting the same stuff over and over. Same word. Faggot’ He mumbled, hating the word.

'Well it’s not like I’ve not heard it before.’

'Well I hadn’t. Not in that context,’ Yev said glumly. 'It was on the walk home. They live a few streets over so it’s mostly the same route. They just kept shouting it, about you. And I hated it, I hated hearing them talk about you like that. It’s not even bad, it’s not one of your faults…why do they call you out on that instead of for something real?’

'People can be really fucking awful, Yev,’ Mickey told him. 'Believe me.’

'And it was that, along with everything about Mom. I started crying. I couldn’t help it.’

'I told you to never let people see you cry. They use it against you.’

'Yeah, they did. They kicked me.’

'They fucking hurt you?’

'Yeah because I - I tried to stand up to them.’

'Well that was never gonna work. One of you and how many of them?’

'Four.’

'Exactly. What’d you do, try and hit them?’

'No. I wouldn’t do that. I - I told them that my dad liking what he likes don’t make him a bitch,’ Yev explained.

Mickey felt his heart glowing with pride and almost felt tearful. He couldn’t think of what to say. He just clasped his son’s hand and laughed. ‘You really are my fucking son, aren’t you.’

Yev smiled. They were quiet for a moment. Then Mickey stood up. ‘Ok. I’m going to get Indian for dinner.’ Yev grinned. ‘Yeah yeah, I know it’s your favourite. You deserve it, kid,’ Mickey said, leaning to kiss him.

'Get samosas too?’ Yev asked.

'Sure. Back in a bit. Hey, do your homework, yeah? I don’t want your Mom saying I’m too easy going.’

Yev laughed. ‘Like anyone could ever think that.’

Mickey smiled and left.

-

He did go to the Indian restaurant and place an order, but they told him it wouldn’t be ready for nearly an hour. So he sat in the waiting area for a couple of minutes, flicking absently through a magazine. Then he knew he had to do something about those fucking neighbourhood assholes. So he pocketed his order number and was out the door, charging back the way he’d come.

He wasn’t intending on going after the kids directly. Sure when he was younger, he’d have gone straight to their place and bashed them a little to show them who was boss. But now he was an adult and he wouldn’t get away with it. And he didn’t want to set that kind of example to Yev. He didn’t want his son to grow up thinking that violence was always the solution like he himself had done for a long time. Too long.

So instead he headed for the ROTC centre, hoping that someone would be there he could talk to.

It was pretty empty. Most of the staff had left. The receptionist was still there though. ‘Can I help you?’

'Yeah, I need to speak to whoever runs the 16-18 group. My son’s in it. Yevgeny Milkovich.’

'Let’s see…you need Ian Gallagher. I don’t think he’s gone home yet. Try the office down the hall and to the left. His name’s on the door.’

'Thank you,’ Mickey nodded at her and made his way to this Ian Gallagher’s office and knocked on the door.

'It’s open,’ came his voice. So Mickey stepped inside. 'Can I help you?’ Mickey was initially taken aback by how young he was. He thought the young army guys were all fighting in some war somewhere, and the old ones were left here to run youth programmes like this. And not only was Ian Gallagher young, but he was fucking gorgeous. 'Sir?’ Mickey realised he’d just been staring at the man in silence for maybe a little too long.

'Yes. My son is a member. Yevgeny.’

Ian smiled. ‘Yes, Milkovich. He’s fantastic. Dedicated, loyal, talented. He could have a real future here. One of the best we’ve got.’

'That’s great, but he got home an hour ago and turns out he’s having a rough time.’

Ian raised his eyebrows. ‘Well I’m sorry to hear that. Something I did?’

Mickey shook his head. ‘No, it’s nothing to do with you. He thinks you’re great, actually. Really respects you. No, this is some other kids in the group. Messing with him. Giving him shit he doesn’t deserve.’

Ian couldn’t help but smirk at his cursing. ‘And what, ah, shit would that be?’

'They’re saying things to him. Mean things.’ He paused. 'Look, his Mom used to be a prostitute. I don’t know how they found that out, but either way, they’re insulting her, and him. Calling her names. And obviously he’s upset. It’s his Mom.’

Ian nodded. ‘I’m sorry. Clearly they’re doing it out of earshot but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel responsible for it happening. You and your wife must be very annoyed.’

Mickey hesitated. Normally he’d just go with it or lie by omission. But not this time. Not to this guy. ‘Actually I’m gay. We’re on good terms but she’s nothing more than a friend. Although yeah, she’s gonna be pissed when she hears.’

Ian nodded, taking it in stride, but Mickey didn’t miss the way the corners of his mouth turned upwards ever so slightly.

Mickey continued, ‘and the kids know too, and when they stopped using Yev’s mother to torture him, they moved on to me. Look, I can handle it when it’s said to my face, but when they’re saying it to my son? That’s not ok. At all.’

'I understand. Truly. I’m going to do something about this. You’re right. No-one should have to deal with shit like that,’ Ian smiled at Mickey as he swore.

'Yeah. Well. Forgive me for not having a great deal of faith. From experience, I guess you’re just gonna give them a slap on the wrist, if that,’ he said, getting up to leave. Ian swiftly walked around the desk, blocking Mickey’s exit.

'I’m absolutely not going to be apathetic about this. I take sexism and homophobia very seriously,’ Ian told him, gradually closing space between himself and Mickey.

'And how do I know you’re not just saying that?’ Mickey asked, also drawing closer to Ian.

Ian paused, and then grinned as he leaned in to kiss Mickey, hard. They kissed roughly for a moment, before Mickey broke away. ‘Seriously?’ Ian nodded, and Mickey laughed, taking off his shirt.

Ian quickly undressed too, reaching around Mickey to lock the door. He kissed him again, moaning. ‘Shit, I can’t get enough of your lips,’ he murmured between kisses.

'You ain’t seen nothing yet,’ Mickey said, as he dropped to his knees and practically ripped Ian’s boxers off. 'Fuck,’ he whispered, before taking him in his mouth. Ian’s hand rested on the back of his head and they settled into a rhythm. But before Mickey could finish him, Ian pulled away. Mickey looked up at him questioningly, but Ian shook his head.

'I want to fuck you,’ he said breathlessly, pulling Mickey up and pinning him against the desk in one motion. He leaned back, reaching for his wallet and retrieving a condom. Mickey barely had time to focus before Ian was inside him. He didn’t ease in or prep him, nothing. Just right in all at once. He knew what he wanted and Mickey liked that. A lot.

'Shit, Gallagher,’ he groaned, feeling Ian hit all the right notes. This guy, this damn guy…Mickey knew it was the best sex he’d had in a long while. Maybe the best sex ever. Ian had an arm wrapped around his waist, and Mickey grabbed his hand, mashing their fingers together as Ian stifled a yell by biting his shoulder.

When he came, it was fucking glorious.

Their movements slowed, as Ian kissed Mickey’s neck, then jawline. It was softer now, gentler. He slid out so that Mickey could turn and kiss him properly. ‘That was…pretty amazing,’ Mickey whispered. Ian smiled. ‘You do this with every pissed off Dad who comes in here?

'Of course not,’ Ian said. 'Only the gay ones,’ he added with a grin. Mickey laughed. 'Which is, so far, just you.’

'I’m glad about that.’ Ian cocked his head curiously.

'Why are you glad?’

Mickey shrugged. ‘Just am.’

They slowly began putting their clothes back on. ‘Hey, Ian. You think maybe…maybe I could see you again?’

'I’ll see you in your dreams,’ Ian replied, grinning. Mickey looked blank. 'You never watched Queer as Folk? What kind of homosexual are you?’

'The kind that fucks guys.’ Ian laughed.

'Look, do you want to get a drink sometime or not?’ Mickey asked.

'I thought that usually happened before intercourse,’ he said.

Mickey laughed. ‘Who the fuck calls it intercourse?’ Ian smiled.

'A drink sounds good. Here’s my number,’ he said, grabbing a scrap of paper and scribbling down his digits. 'Call me?’

Mickey took the paper. ‘Yeah. Definitely.’ He opened the door and glanced back at Ian, who kissed him lightly. ‘Later.’

-

Mickey walked into his house and dumped the bags of food on the table. ‘Sorry it took so long. They had a lot of orders.’

’S'fine. Mandy’s here,’ Yev said.

'Hey big brother,’ his sister waved from where she was perched on the kitchen counter.

'What are you doing here?’

'Nice to see you too. Jesus. I was returning your toolbox.’

'Oh, yeah. Thanks.’ Mickey said, going to hug her and greet her properly.

'So Yev tells me the cat’s out of the bag. The cat being you.’

'Turns out he already knew. But…yeah.’

'It was still great that you admitted it to him. And talked about it. I know…I know you could never do that with any of our family.’

'Did you never tell them?’ Yev asked.

'Oh, I told them alright. It was your christening. I fucking yelled it across the Alibi.’

'So…your whole family was there?’

Mickey nodded. ‘Whole family and then some. Aside from Mandy. She was at work.’

'Don’t fucking remind me,’ she said. 'I’ve always regretted taking that extra shift.’

'What happened?’ Yev asked.

Mandy looked at Mickey sadly.

Mickey looked at his son for a second before answering. ‘My Dad beat the shit out of me. He just started screaming and charging at me. Like a fucking bull. He pinned me down on the floor and hit me, and he kept hitting me. He was so much bigger than me. I couldn’t move. And there was nobody there to get him off of me. Eventually he knocked me unconscious.’

'And then I get a call from the police. They’d taken Dad away and Mickey was I’m the hospital. I get there as fast as I can. He’s in a coma. Broken arm, fractured collarbone. Nose totally smashed. Face covered in bruises and blood. I just sat there, crying over him, wondering why Dad would do this to him. Eventually I realised. I know what made Dad fly off the handle. And I’d had my suspicions about Mickey but never dwelled on them. But then it all made sense.’

'When I woke up, the police came to talk to me. They told me what had happened. He’d kept beating me even after I blacked out. And he wasn’t sorry.’ Mickey looked up at his son. Yev was pale and his eyes were heavy with tears. Mickey was about to go hug him, when Yev stood up and came over to him and stood beside him.

He wrapped his arms around his father, crying into his shoulder. ‘I can’t believe that happened to you,’ Yev sobbed. Mickey held on to him, trying not to cry himself, trying to be strong for his son. He hadn’t seen Yev cry for years. ‘Dad that’s…horrific. I know why you always changed the subject when I asked about your family. I can’t - Dad - you could’ve died,’ he choked.

'Yeah but I didn’t. I didn’t. And I’m so fucking glad he didn’t kill me because I got to raise you. You’re the most important thing. You’re the only important thing I’ve ever had in my life. Everything else before you were born was just buildup. I know I’m not father of the year or whatever but I try my best. Because - I know what it’s like when your dad doesn’t give a shit. I know what it’s like when your dad makes your life a living hell. That’s why I hate it when you’re annoyed or upset with me, even over something small or stupid, because I hate the idea that I’ve made you feel even remotely how my dad made me feel. And ever since I can remember, I’ve just been so fucking scared, Yev, that I’m going to become my father,’ Mickey said quietly.

His son pulled back and looked at him. ‘Dad, no. You’re the best Dad. Ok? It doesn’t matter that you’re not rich, that you never finished school, that you’re not some cookie-cutter doctor or lawyer father with a wife and white picket fence. You’re the best Dad because you’re always here for me, no matter what. I can tell you anything. You help me with schoolwork, you come to my parent teacher conferences. Even though you and Mom aren’t together, you make sure that this is never a broken home. But most of all, Dad, you have never hurt me, and I never question the fact that you love me. And I - I love you too.’

'Shit,’ Mickey muttered, wiping away his tears. 'Come here,’ he said, hugging him tightly. Yev was almost taller than he was. 'I’m sorry I never told you. I was worried it would fuck you up. And then as you got older I was worried you wouldn’t respect me or you’d hate me.’

'I understand why you couldn’t tell me. It’s ok. It’s not about me. This is who you are.’

They all stood in silence for a minute or so. Then Mandy offered to reheat the food, and they all ate together, laughing and joking like usual.

Afterwards, as Mickey was clearing the table, Yev suddenly spoke. ‘Where is your Dad?’

Mickey paused, and looked at Mandy. After a moment, he spoke. ‘He’s in prison. He got twenty years.’

Yev frowned. ‘So he’s getting out in four years? If it happened when I was a baby?’

'He got five more years because of bad behaviour, a few years back. But then that got reduced to two and a half. So he gets out in about six years. Provided it doesn’t change again,’ Mandy explained.

'Are you scared?’

'Yes.’ Micky’s single word hung densely in the air.

'Will they give him a restraining order or something?’

'Probably. But knowing him, that won’t work.’ There was a pause. Mickey saw the angry, determined look on his son’s face. 'Hey, do not go looking for him. Under any circumstances. Ok?’

'I won’t,’ Yev agreed. But that was one promise he probably wouldn’t keep.

-

A little over a week later, Yev rolled out of bed. Saturday morning was when he went running, and he immediately pulled on some clothes. He’d shower when he got back, but he needed to pee. He walked down the hall towards the bathroom, but saw it was locked. He could hear his Dad peeing, so he leaned against the wall and waited. After a moment, he heard the toilet flush and then the door opened. His mouth dropped open. He was face to face with his ROTC instructor. His shirtless ROTC instructor.

'Morning, Milkovich,’ Ian said simply, grinning at him cheerfully.

Yev just watched him walk back towards his Dad’s room, still in disbelief. His instructor was gay? And he was dating his Dad? His head was spinning.

But then he smiled. He realised that his Dad wasn’t hiding this stuff from him anymore. And that was fucking great.

// the end. Hope this was ok. It ended up being longer and deeper than I originally intended. (plus you’ll notice I planted the seeds for a potential follow up…let me know if you want me to write that! Otherwise PLEASE keep prompting me!! //

So I'm imaging how a Yeptune friendship starts
  • Yang: Hey Neptune, what'd you call me over here for.
  • Neptune: Oh, you know, not much... I just need a hand, not like I can't handle it on my own, pfft, I'm like, the master at handling things on m-
  • Yang: What's the problem Neptune.
  • Neptune: *Pauses before taking a deep breath*
  • Neptune: So-yesterday-I-hit-on-like-3-different-girls-and-that's-not-like-a-record-or-anything-but-they-all-turned-me-down-and-called-me-mean-names-and-so-I-went-to-sleep-all-sad-and-woke-up-feeling-crumby-this-morning-and-so-I-pilled-out-my-MV-Calc-test-I-just-took-and-redid-the-problems-I-got-wrong-because-that-makes-me-feel-smart-but-then-Sun-walked-up-and-asked-me-what-my-favorite-candy-was-and-I-told-him-Twizzlers-cause-that's-the-truth-but-then-he-said-"Are-you-sure-your-favorite-candy-isn't-Nerds?"-and-I-know-the-comment-wasn't-made-with-bad-intentions-but-it-still-hurt-and-I-started-to-cry-a-bit-
  • Neptune: ...
  • Neptune: So... uh... yeah I'm not having the best day so... I might want some help with... uh... you know...
  • Yang: ...Are you okay? Normally you're not so open with how... uh...
  • Neptune: Lame I am?
  • Yang: No, that's... not it.
  • Neptune: Yes it is and you know it. But that's why I need you're help. I wanna be cool! And you're, like, really cool. So could you, like, uh... teach me?
  • Yang: Like, give you... coolness lessons?
  • Neptune: If you wouldn't mind.
  • Yang: ...okay.
  • --------------------------------------
  • Yang: Okay, so the key to being cool is not to do things that are cool, but to do things in a cool way. Do what you would normally want to do, but just do those things with confidence. For example, what's something you want to do right now?
  • Neptune: Well, there's this book in the library on multi-variable-differntiation that I wanted to take out... Hey, I'm not a nerd, I just... like math.
  • Yang: Which is fine. Just own that you like math. Go over to the check out and don't worry about anyone judging you. because they won't.
  • Neptune: Yeah!
  • Yang: If anything, they should be jealous that they aren't as smart as you!
  • Neptune: Yeah!
  • Yang: Now go over that and get that book!
  • Neptune: Yeah!
  • --------------------------------------
  • Yang: So he grabs the book.
  • Blake: Okay.
  • Yang: Brings it over to the check out.
  • Ruby: Got it. and then?
  • Weiss: *scrunchy face*
  • Yang: Things were going fine. He had swagger, maybe he he was trying to hard, but he seemed confident if nothing else.
  • Pyrrha: So, what went wrong?
  • Yang: So, as it turns out, the person at the check out was some cute girl and he gave that look he gives girls, but...
  • Blake: But?
  • Yang: She asked him what he was going to do with that book and he started getting all defensive. And she started to tease him about it...
  • Ruby: And? How did he respond?
  • Yang: Well, he started to cry a bit. I guess he was still a bit sensitive after what happened earlier. He tried to play off by saying that he just found math incredibly beautiful.
  • Blake: *facepalm*
  • Yang: And he, in a state of panic, said "but not as beautiful as you"
  • Blake: *facepalm intensifies*
  • Weiss: *Scrunching intensifies*
  • Yang: And then she gave him a black eye.
  • Weiss: *face gets less scrunchy*
  • Blake: Seriously Weiss, what made you fall for that guy in the first place?
  • Ren: Well, probably because, when he first talked to her, he didn't know who she was, but still hit on her, complimented her, and was incredibly attractive to boot.
  • Pyrrha: couldn't you say the exact same thing about Jaune?
  • Everyone: ...................
  • Nora: Whatever you say Pyrrha.
  • Ruby: So, like, how's he doing now?
  • Yang: Yeah, well, that was about 2 hours ago. I bought him an ice cream and brought him back into his room where he started watching TV with this blank look on his face. I checked back on him later, but he was doing that finger gun thing to himself in the mirror and whispering "boo-yah" while tears were running down his cheeks. I figured it was better not to intervene. That was 5 minutes ago.
  • Yang's scroll: *Rings*
  • Yang: It's Neptune.
  • Ruby: What does it say?
  • Yang: It says "Today was great! I feel like I made some really great strides! I can't wait for next lesson! ;)"
  • Everyone: ........................

anonymous asked:

Imagine if Jason signed up for Masterchef and then in one episode they invite Dick as a special guest and member of the jury and Jason gets so distracted that he overcooks and almost burns his dish which gets him an epic temper tantrum by Gordon Ramsey (with all the dramatic music in the background lol), and then i don't know what happens next, how d'you think Jason would react? I wouldn't mind a short writing about that if you're inspired enough xd

I have never seen masterchef, but I have seen a bunch of other cooking shows, so here’s a little drabble on if Jason went on a cooking show. 

Too Hot for the Kitchen

He’d fucked up. 

Like. Royally fucked up. 

Jason had wished they’d waited until after they cooked to bring in the judges, but no. They didn’t. Jason had watched as Dick Grayson entered the room, smiling and waving at the audience surrounding them. Jason knew what the challenges were, three rounds of cooking to impress the judges in hopes that he’d be chosen to continue onto the next one. 

When the timer went off, Jason spent a good thirty seconds staring at Dick Grayson, who was looking over them, arms crossed on the table, beautiful blue eyes waiting to be amused. 

“Todd!” Gordon shouted. 

Jason startled at the voice of the head chef and went into action, doing his best to prepare his appetizer, but his eyes kept sweeping back to Dick Grayson. They made eye contact for a brief moment and Jason dropped the pan he was holding. 

Get it together. Get it together.

Jason couldn’t keep it together and somehow the only thing he managed to prepare for the chefs was a burnt salad. 

The look on Dick’s face as he ate the food made Jason cringe. It was so obvious he was trying to enjoy it but the burnt roasted peppers and the overwhelming amount of dressing Jason had put on the salad ruined everything. 

“Todd,” Gordon said, voice low. “Are you proud of this dish?”

“No,” Jason said. “I messed it up horribly, Chef.” 

“Then what the fuck happened?” Gordon asked. “You are probably the best chef in this competition and you burnt a salad. A salad! How did you do that? What happened? You’ve kept a cool head this entire competition and a salad tripped you up?”

The worst part was that Gordon didn’t sound angry, he sounded disappointed and it made Jason’s heart sink. 

“It wasn’t the salad, Chef,” Jason admitted. 

“What the hell was it then?” Gordon asked. 

“I was distracted by one of the judges, sir,” Jason said. “He was so beautiful I couldn’t stop looking at him and anytime he’d look at me I’d just mess up.” He looked Dick straight in the eyes as he said this. 

“Aw,” Dick said with a grin. “I’m flattered.”

“I will make it up to you all in the next round,” Jason said. 

Later, after being chosen to go to the next round, Jason leaned against a wall in the backstage area with the dressing rooms. He wished he still smoked, so he could burn the stress of the night away, but he’d given it up since he found out smoking had effects on taste. 

“So,” Jason perked up when he heard the smooth voice of Dick Grayson next to him. “You recovered extremely well from that burnt salad,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone do something so ambitious and pull it off.”

“Thanks,” Jason said. “Sorry about the whole…thing, at the beginning of the night. I normally don’t get tripped up like that.”

“I really was flattered,” Dick said. “And I’ve been to your restaurant before in Gotham. It’s amazing. If I had known the Chef was as good as the food, I would have asked you out ages ago.”

“What?” Jason asked, surprised by the latter half of the comment. 

“I said,” Dick rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “You’re really hot, your food is good, and I don’t think you’ve had dessert tonight.”

“Are you…are you asking me out?” Jason asked. 

“Right now I’m asking to sleep with you, but after, I’ll probably ask you out, so in a roundabout way? Yes.”

Jason’s mouth opened and shut a few times before he replied. “Uh, yeah, I’d be up for that.”

If the next day at filming, Jason’s neck was covered in hickeys, Gordon didn’t say anything about it. 

Toothless: Return to the Black Pony of Second Chances

The title is like 7 90′s horse movie titles all mashed together and you can thank me in advance.  Because that’s what this is.  Except Hiccup is the rebellious teenage girl sent back to the farm to learn her lesson.  


“You’re familiar with the Sanctuary School’s expulsion policy, aren’t you Mr. Haddock?” Principal Hobblegrunt manages to look halfway austere despite his entirely ridiculous name and I restrain the urge to roll my eyes.  They’re pissed this time, they called my mom, and I don’t want her to walk in while the principal is making it rain detention slips.  

For all of its new age-y front of ‘encouraging young minds’, the Sanctuary School is still all about old school punishment when a teacher’s car ends up straddling the benches in the chem lab.  

“I thought you never turned away an open young mind.”  

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Are you still taking prompts? If so, could you write some more of the Gallovich Queer Club thing you've been doing? Ian and Mickey with Mandy, Carl etc?

// yes I am totally taking prompts! and wow thanks for requesting something from that idea, not many people have read it :) let’s see where this goes… //

// NOTE: you don’t need to have read the previous fics I’ve written in this universe, they all work as oneshots :) //

Carl was holding Yevgeny as he waited for Ian to come back from his therapy session. ‘So does Ian just live here now?’ he asked Mickey.

He glanced across the sofa to Carl. ‘We haven’t really talked about it…but he wants to be here. And I like him being here,’ he said with a note of finality.

Carl nodded. ‘What are you going to tell Yev?’

Mickey couldn’t keep up with how quickly the kid’s mind jumped from question to question. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘As he gets older, he’s going to start asking questions. He’ll ask why Ian sleeps in your bedroom and why his mom and aunt are sleeping across the hall.’ He wasn’t speaking rudely, just curiously.

'Look it’s not as if I haven’t thought about that,’ Mickey began awkwardly. In truth Mickey had been thinking about it more and more since the day he first held his son. 'I don’t know, honestly, we’ll just figure things out as we go.’ He didn’t like talking about it.

'Does Ian want to be Yev’s dad?’

'I don’t know, ok? Jesus.’ Neither of them spoke for a moment. Mickey sighed. 'I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. Sorry.’

Carl shrugged. ‘It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.’ But he didn’t ask any more questions after that. Thankfully Mandy walked in from her bedroom, just wearing panties and a t-shirt.

'Hey, is Ian not home yet?’

Mickey shook his head. ‘Doesn’t finish therapy until four. Shouldn’t be back for, like, forty minutes.’

'He left the house at one-thirty,’ Mandy said. 'He told me his session was at two. Mick where is he?

'He said was going back to his house for a couple hours. Said he wanted to see Fiona and Liam…why did he tell you his session was at two? Shit,’ he said, immediately standing up and heading for the door. 'Carl? Mandy?’

'Let me get some clothes on,’ Mandy dashed back to her room whilst Mickey put Yev in the stroller. She emerged a minute later with Svetlana.

'She told me,’ Svetlana said. 'I want to help find Ian.’

She and Mickey looked at each other silently for a moment. Then he nodded. ‘Ok. Thanks.’ They left.

-

They’d so far discovered that Ian hadn’t shown up for his appointment, and Carl had called Debbie and learned that he’d not been to the Gallagher’s either. It had been almost an hour. Mickey was starting to sweat nervously.

'I should’ve gone with him. I should’ve fucking gone with him!’ he muttered to himself, kicking an old beer bottle on the sidewalk.

'Don’t blame yourself,’ Mandy told him firmly. 'Let’s try the alibi, yeah?’

'Yeah, I have a shift in thirty minutes anyway,’ Svetlana said.

Mickey glanced at her. ‘You can blow it off if you want.’

She stared at him, taken aback. ‘Thank you. But we need the money.’ They all kept walking in silence, save for Yev’s light snoring.

'What can I get you?’ Kev yelled in greeting as they entered. He grinned, having not seen Mickey in a while.

'Looking for Ian,’ Mickey said.

'He’s not been here. Hey, how’s he doing?’ Kev asked, speaking more quietly now that they were at the bar.

'He’s missing,’ Carl told him.

'Shit. You check the hospitals? Emergency rooms?’

They all looked at each other. ‘We didn’t think of that,’ Mandy admitted. Mickey looked like he was going to throw up.

'It might not be that bad,’ Kev said hurriedly. 'Why don’t you try Boystown?’

'Why would he go there?’ Svetlana wondered.

'Why would he want to go there?’ Mickey murmured to himself, staring at his shoes.

'Ok I’m going to shut up and pour you a shot,’ Kev did so, lining up glasses for Mandy and Svetlana too. He tossed Carl a juicebox.

'Mick, we should probably head down there. It’s plausible,’ Mandy said.

He nodded. ‘Thanks Kev,’ he said.

'Yeah, hope you find him.’

Svetlana leaned down to lightly kiss Yevgeny, and then paused before hugging Mickey. It took a second before he hugged her back. It was brief but affectionate.

'Shit, you going straight again Mickey?’ Kermit yelled, laughing.

'Not fucking likely,’ Mandy spat at him as she wrapped her arms around Svetlana’s waist and kissed her, rough and hard. Carl grinned.

'Well that’s definitely bought in more business,’ said Kev amidst the wolf whistles from surrounding drinkers.

'Bye,’ Svetlana said to Mandy, grinning and licking her lips.

They headed out, the men in the bar shouting for Mandy to stay too. She just stuck up her finger as they left.

-

'So…this is Boystown?’ Carl said, looking around in wonder. 'Why have I never been here before?’

'Because it’s a fucking shithole,’ Mickey told him.

'Let’s just find Ian. And Carl, do not wander off anywhere,’ Mandy said, 'Can you push the stroller?’ She passed it over to him.

'Sure.’

They first went for the club where Ian worked. It was fairly dead inside, with it still being early.

'Hey!’ Mickey yelled at the manager, who was stood near the bar. 'You seen Ian? Ian Gallagher?’

'No. But if you see him, tell him he needs to come by and collect his tips from last weekend.’

Mickey frowned. ‘He’s not had a shift here for nearly a month. He said he called to take some time off. He’s - sick.’

'He was here on Saturday. Mixing drinks and dancing as usual. Stopped giving lap dances though. Shame. He was one of the best.’

Mickey didn’t say anything. He just turned around and walked out as fast as he could. He felt like his head was going to explode. Carl was first after him.

'Are you ok?’

'Why would he lie to me?’ Mickey said. He was furiously trying not to cry. 'When has he even had time to come down here? Why would he…is he sick of being around me?’

'The guy said he stopped giving lap dances. That’s proof that Ian isn’t sick of being around you.’

Mickey didn’t say anything for a second. ‘I’m pissed with him but mostly I’m fucking worried,’ he told Carl.

'Let’s take the L to the hospital?’ Carl suggested.

'Mick!’ Mandy’s voice came from behind them. 'This guy saw Ian.’

A fit man in black jeans walked beside her. ‘I just sold to him. About an hour ago,’ he said quietly, glancing around to make sure no-one else could hear.

'Fuck,’ Mickey sighed. 'So he’s lost and he’s high? What did he buy?’

'Uh, coke, E. And some weed.’

'Why would he do that?’ Mickey asked Mandy, his eyes wide and desperate.

'He didn’t say where he was going,’ the dealer added.

'Yeah you can fuck off. And don’t fucking sell to him again,’ Mickey said, and swiftly kneed him in the groin.

-

They were on their way to get the L, walking under the bridge, when he saw them.

'Hey!’ Ian’s voice. Mickey immediately spun around. Ian was slumped on the ground, leaning against part of the bridge. He ran over and crouched before him.

'Ian, what the fuck? What have you taken?’

Ian’s eyes were unfocused. ‘Ah…a little of this, little of that,’ he said unhelpfully.

Mickey took his hand. It was cold. Probably from sitting out here. ‘Ian…why?’

Ian shrugged, unable to meet his eyes. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know anymore,’ he whispered. ‘I just didn’t feel like therapy…it feels like I’m not making any progress…and I know that would upset you…so…I don’t know,’ he shrugged apologetically.

'No, Ian, not knowing where you are and finding out you’ve been snorting coke upsets me. Actually going to therapy, that’s progress. You have to talk to me if you’re worried, if you’re unhappy. Please…the fact you’ve been thinking these things in silence…Ian when I said I loved you I fucking meant it. I need you to tell me this stuff so I can help you. I am never going to be upset with you about something like that.’

'Sorry I couldn’t be honest,’ he said. He was crying now. 'I’m sorry Mick, I’m just so fucking scared because I can’t control anything in my head anymore. Some days I can’t see myself. And I’m terrified that one day you’re going to realise that you don’t know who you’re lying next to anymore. Because I sure as shit couldn’t tell you for certain. Every day it's…a mess. Every day, Mick,’ he sobbed, leaning into Mickey’s chest. Mickey held him.

'There is no way that I wouldn’t recognise the only man I’ve ever loved. The only man who taught me how to be free. And now I guess it’s my turn to help get you free. Mess? I know mess. Nothing will stop me from loving you. Nothing. We can and will get through anything. But you’ve gotta meet me halfway, where you can. Don’t just leave me ignorant back home while you’re out using this shit to cope. Please. Please, Ian.’

'Yeah, I’ll try to talk to you. I promise,’ Ian breathed Mickey in for a moment before reaching into his pockets. 'Can you take these? I - I don’t want to have them on me anymore. Just in case,’ he told him.

'Of course,’ Mickey said, pocketing it. 'Thank you.’

'I do love you too…I love you and that’s why I hate myself for all of this even more.’

'Don’t, Ian. Don’t hate yourself. Just don’t. You’re not worthy of hate. Trust me,’ he told him sincerely. Ian just looked at him and cried. And neither boy could really tell whether they were good tears or bad tears.

'Mickey please can we just go home?’

'Sure, yeah…your house isn’t far,’ he said, helping Ian stand.

'No,’ Ian gently tugged at his shirt. 'Our house. Our home.’

Mickey smiled in spite of everything and kissed him. ‘That’s home?’

'It’s where you are.’

And then Mickey was crying too.

'Well that answers my question,’ said Carl. They all looked at him, confused - but Mickey nodded and smiled at him slightly.

// the end. hope this was ok…please keep prompting me for fic-a-day-for-may! //