uh 1

i’ve been getting a lot of messages lately (and unsurprisingly, considering how unrepentantly i’ve been reblogging stuff from them) from followers asking me for podcast recommendations - and i love getting those so thank you, guys! - and i thought i’d make a masterpost of what i’ve both a) finished and b) enjoyed since i’ve started bingeing them.  and, as an extra added bonus, what has canonical lgbt+ representation (since i know what you guys are into [waggles eyebrows]).

1. the bright sessions

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is definitely the first podcast that i’ve fallen in love with as hard as my original gateway podcast: welcome to night vale.  it’s so well-written, the characters well-drawn, the premise fascinating - atypicals, or people with some sort of special ability, in therapy - and it’s such a positive story and experience that i can’t help but feel better on days i listen to it.  it really believes in humanity and that’s such a wonderful thing in this day and age.  plus, the voice acting is killer.

2. eos 10

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i don’t think it’s been officially confirmed that dr. dalias is, at the very least, bisexual (in fact, the official channels seem to be dancing around it, possibly so as not to spoil anything in the upcoming season), though it’s been hinted at plenty in story.  especially as i don’t know how else you can explain a supposedly “straight” male character getting called out on repeatedly thinking about a naked man during a group mind-link experience.  that aside, it is freaking hilarious.  the premise is doctors in space, one formerly drug-addicted doctor helping to stabilize a currently alcoholic one with amazing side characters including nurse jane johns and levi, a hypochondriac alien and deposed prince who seems to have a personal vendetta against wearing pants.  it’s well-acted, cleverly written and a freaking joy to listen too.  so funny and so smart, i can’t recommend it enough!

3. the penumbra podcast

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  so much queer representation it’s bananas.  this ask the creators got is actually pretty representative of their approach to the show, slyly funny and very gay.  our main character is a genderbending queer private investigator who’s lost his heart head over a sweet-smelling thief with a heart of gold and more aliases than jennifer garner, all set against a noir backdrop.  oh, and on mars.  yeah, you read all of that right.  there are a few awesome side stories as well, including a couple of horror ones (that have no effect on the main juno steel story line, so can be skipped - and the creators are VERY GOOD about warning what’s to come in the episode notes), as well as lesbian outlaws and a disabled knight.  there’s literally nothing not to love.  EXCEPT FOR HOW JUNO STEEL WON’T LET HIMSELF HAVE NICE THINGS.

4. the black tapes

hey, hi, if you’re into horror, suspense, creepery or demons, this is so very much for you.  the premise is that alex reagan, our host, begins a podcast to interview people with interesting professions.  she starts out with dr. richard strand, a paranormal investigator whose mission statement is to debunk all things paranormal.  he even has an institute that offers a one million dollar prize for proof of the paranormal, which he has never even come close to having to part with.  while alex is interviewing him, she comes across a handful of black vhs tapes: the only cases that strand hasn’t been able to definitively solve yet.  the technology to disprove these incidents simply hasn’t come far enough, in his opinion.  needless to say, she never moves on from dr. strand and the mystery of the black tapes.  each episode, alex investigates another of the black tapes and much later on realizes it’s possible that they’re all connected.  oh my god, i almost got chills just writing that, it’s so good, it’s so real, because dr. strand is such a good anchor to reality.  alex will occasionally lose her skeptic’s perspective; dr. strand does not.  and once alex starts experiencing intense insomnia, making you realize your narrator might not be so reliable?  things somehow manage to get even murkier.  i really, really adored this one.  it’s paranormal set in the most normal of normal worlds, only making it that much spookier.

5. wooden overcoats

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  okay, well, if you’ve ever watched black books?  this is kind of like black books, aka one of my all-time favorite shows.  rudyard funn is just as incapable and universally disliked as bernard black, which was all well and good when the village of piffling vale (which is very nearly a town, you know!) only had one funeral home to choose from.  unfortunately, that’s not the case anymore.  eric chapman has moved his funeral home right across the street and stolen all the business from rudyard, his embalmer (cum part-owner) and twin sister, antigone, and georgie, their assistant.  to add insult to injury, he’s charming and universally adored by everyone except those at funn funerals.  very british, very ridiculous, and very funny!  WE GET THE BODY IN THE COFFIN IN THE GROUND ON TIME.  (well, like that one time they did.  [coughs])

6. ars pardoxica

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i listened to this one pretty slowly, for me.  it’s very much plot over character, at least in my opinion.  which is fair since there’s quite a lot of plot and set dressing to establish.  we’re following (dr.) sally grissom, a scientist from the twenty-first century who accidentally creates time travel and ends up stuck back in the 1940s.  think a bombs and eisenhower.  it was always interesting, and the paradoxes created by the time travel experiments they kept doing were fascinating (i love time travel stuff because of the paradoxes it creates) but i didn’t get really ravenous for it until season two, which is when i really felt it picked up speed.  you’ve got anthony stuck in a literal CAGE - a “blackroom” bubble set outside of time, sally trying to garden (oh god), a gang consisting of a veteran, a (former) widow and time doubles trying to bring down ODAR (the company sally used to work for, and that anthony still does) and esther sliding down the ladder of morally unsound one determined rung at a time and it makes for a REALLY grabbing audio drama, eh?

7. the strange case of starship iris

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  i’m already in love with violet liu, all right?  she’s a science officer on starship iris–well, what was starship iris.  when we first join violet, every single one of her crew mates has just died in an explosion on the pod they were traveling off ship with and the starship iris is in its last throes as well.  luckily(?) a passing ship comes along with a plan to get her to safety.  this has a real illuminae vibe to it (which is an amazing book btw) and all the characters are already so freaking likable.  it’s only on episode two and already shaping up to be a favorite!

8. the orbiting human circus (of the air)

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  if there’s a more heart-warming podcast out there, then i haven’t run across it yet.  first of all, julian koster’s voice is so vulnerable and soft that i would use myself and everyone i know and also puppies as a shield against everything terrible in the universe for him.  second, the rest of the cast - leticia especially - is just as freaking talented.  the premise is that julian is the janitor at a radio show that broadcasts from the top of the eiffel tower and has strange and impossible acts every night, from tale-telling crickets to singing saws to the orkestral, a bird that can play every orchestral instrument (except that it refuses to play the viola, because reasons).  it’s fun and cute and breaks your heart with happiness regularly and often!

9. alice isn’t dead

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is a horror podcast about a truck driver who is looking for her missing wife.  jasika nicole has to have one of my favorite voices around and having it be so heavily dependent on that makes me ridiculously happy.  throw in the story-telling of joseph fink, the depth and cohesiveness of his writing, and there is nothing not to love here.

10. within the wires

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  this is really sufficiently creepy considering it’s not often overtly creepy.  this is set up as a series of relaxation tapes, which progressively get more and more interested in helping the listener break out of the facility in which she’s being kept.  super chilling at times, because the voice is so calm and the action so dangerous.

11. welcome to night vale

canon lgbt+ is a ✓.  okay, well, what more can be said about this at this point?  if you’re not listening to it, you’re wrong.  why wouldn’t you want to visit a town that can’t be visited and where every conspiracy theory is real and a part of everyday life?  yeah, everyone knows about the vague yet menacing government agency, steve carlsberg, you’re not hitting on anything new there.  there’s a dog park that doesn’t allow dogs, angels that are never to be identified as angels, mountains that aren’t real, a glow cloud that–ALL HAIL and a love story so complete and perfect that it can and will utterly steal your breath at times.  go, listen, inhale.

170510 BTS Chatroom

🐥 kim taehyung come out
🐥 kim taehyung come out quickly
🐥 i want to call you here so bad so come out quickly
🐥 there’s no such thing as rest time for you
🐥 guys please call taehyung
🐥 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ wow he’s not coming
🐥 ㅋㅋㅋ i’m just calling him ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐥 tae tae tae tae tae tae tae aet tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae tae
🐥 twe
🐥 twe twe
🐥 if kim taehyung doesn’t come by 20 i’m going 
🐥 yeah it’s me
🐥 taehyung-ah you’re responsible for all of this situation
🐥 i called you
🐥 you should come when i call you
🐯 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐥 oh you come at 20 exactly
🐯 what
🐥 just
🐯 what do you want
🐯 i’m busy right now
🐥 i’m just calling
🐥 why are you busy
🐯 why did you call me
🐥 are you playing games again
🐥 give me 10 reasons
🐯 what games
🐯 i’m stretching my leg muscles
🐥 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ i was just at your room
🐯 oh sorry
🐯 i started
🐯 after you went
🐯 hooha hooha
🐥 oh really
🐯 guys 
🐯 jimin
🐯 said he’s gonna
🐯 send you his aegyo video~~
🐯 bye
🐥 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ can’t say anything but laugh ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐥 my friend’s a liar
🐥 yo i know you’re reading ㅋㅋㅋ don’t pretend you went ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐯 heh
🐯 i got caught?
🐥 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐥 you thought i wouldn’t know, how can i not know you ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐯 keep your promise
🐯 aegyo video
🐯 film it
🐥 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ oh the aegyo video that you said you wanted to film together
🐥 keep your promise ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐯 wut
🐯 i never said that
🐯 i have tons of aegyo videos from our manggaetteok jimin-ssi in my phone, shall i post them all?
🐥 not that taehyung, you said you want to film aegyo video for armys so bad 🙂
🐥 wanna film one?
🐥 do you hate it taehyung?
🐯 not aegyo
🐯 i want to show armys my cool side
🐥 taehyung are you gonna be like that?
🐯 game or
🐥 okay if you hate it that much i’ll film it alone
🐯 game or
🐯 stuffs like games
🐥 i didn’t know you hate it that much
🐯 guys
🐯 he’s gonna film it!!! oho succeeded
🐥 what ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ ㅋ
🐯 let’s play
🐯 ㄲ
🐯 ㄱ
🐥 i’m gonna do it~ i will, taehyung you do it too
🐯 okie
🐯 if you post it
🐯 i’m gonna post
🐥 ‘kay rest ㅋㅋ going to post it ㅋㅋ 
🐯 aegyo videos of our precious members in my phone
🐯 where
🐥 confirm plz i sent it to you
🐯 can i post this?
🐯 aw so cute our jiminie
🐥 yo
🐥 you ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ make me speechless ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐥 yo brat you can’t do it ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐯 you should say it here
🐥 yo ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ i really have nothing to say ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 
🐥 you can’t do it ㅋㅋㅋ taehyung ㅋㅋㅋ not that ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
🐯 jimin-ssi you should keep in mind that i have you in the lines of my palm
🐯 😊
🐯 i should post one of jimin’s cool like ryan mcginley photos
🐯 guys i posted
🐥 what’s with “the lines of my palm” ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ not even “my palm” ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

nobody ships sasusaku more than sarada 

belated birthday present for @molded-from-clay !!!

moldy is an incredible friend and has been hugely supportive of me ever since i first started getting more involved in the fandom, and i cannot thank her enough for all the kindness and encouragement she’s given me. 

SO THANKS FOR BEING BORN MOLDY YA BIG DORK, IM SO GLAD U EXIST!! 🎉🎂🎁

anonymous asked:

being a cishet girl on tumblr is literally the most unwelcoming feeling in the world lmao

being a lgbt girl in society is literally the most unwelcoming feeling in the world lmao

jimmy-valmer  asked:

something not specific - a cute kyle doing cute kyle things

i guess these arent specifically cute things but hes always cute so it doesnt rly matter

When I was in elementary school, I knew that gay people existed. Many people had told me it was wrong, but I knew they existed, I knew it was an option.

When I was in middle school, I knew that bisexual people existed. Many people had told me it was wrong, but I knew they existed, I knew it was an option.

Eighth grade rolled around and my friends started talking about how hot male celebrities were and I got this fuzzy feeling of confusion: I wasn’t attracted to them like I was supposed to be.

So there I was, thirteen years old at a lunchroom table, assuming the only orientations that existed were gay, straight, and bisexual. I wasn’t attracted to guys. I assumed I had to be gay.

And gay became an integral part of my personality. I created a tumblr, followed gay blogs, shipped girls together, I did everything I thought a gay girl was supposed to do.

Only, as the years passed, I felt less and less at home, because every time I saw a post about how hot a female celebrity was I got this fuzzy feeling of confusion: I wasn’t attracted to them like I was supposed to be.

But I ignored it. I was fifteen years old, laying in bed, scrolling through posts I didn’t fully identify with. The only options were gay, straight, and bisexual. And I wasn’t attracted to guys.

In sophomore year of high school, I came out as gay.

Over winter break, I spent a lot of time on the internet, feeling broken and confused. I was gay but I wasn’t attracted to girls. I scrolled through the lgbt tag, looking for an answer, and came upon a list of identities.

I found asexual and demisexual in it. Gay had been a huge part of my identity for two years. I grabbed demisexual and ran with it, because maybe, if I found the right person and got close enough, something would click.

It never did. As the school year flew by, I thought about asexuality more and more, and in early spring, I settled with it. It made me feel a little broken, but hey, I was still homoromantic, so I couldn’t be all that broken, could I?

By the summer between sophomore and junior year, I no longer felt broken. I still had a safe space in the queer community and I was loud and proud about who I was.

That same summer, I met a bisexual girl and an aroace girl, roommates at a summer program. My asexuality and homoromanticism became something I talked about often, an even bigger part of who I was.

Junior year of high school, a girl asked me on a date and I said yes. After all, I liked spending time with her and I wanted to be closer to her, that’s what romantic feelings were, or so I thought.

A month into the relationship I realized my feelings couldn’t be romantic. I liked cuddling with her and I liked talking to her, but I never wanted to kiss her. I never wanted to hold her hand.

I looked back, and I realized every single ‘crush’ I had was exactly like this. I wanted to cuddle and I wanted to be closer. I never wanted romance. I just wanted a stronger freindship.

It was terrifying. I felt so utterly broken and confused because if I wasn’t gay, who the hell was I? I remembered aromanticism and I talked to my aroace friend, and for the first time I truly identified with what was being said.

Despite this, I continued to feel broken. I found some aromantic blogs, and I sent anons, and I read the faqs, and day by day, I accepted myself more

But there was still something missing. The fandoms I had become a part of, the girls I still shipped, that hadn’t changed. What changed was the fact that suddenly I wasn’t welcome there.

Because my junior year is this year, and as I was finally feeling comfortable with myself, the discourse began. I am told that I’m basically straight, that I have no place in the community I have called my home for three years.

Maybe if that’s all it was, I would be able to brush it off as hate and reassure myself I was queer, that I wasn’t doing anything wrong.

But the thing is, I’m also being told that I’ve never experienced oppression, that I never felt like an outcast because of who I was.

And you’re partially correct, I have never felt like an outcast because of who I am. But every day I have felt like an outcast because of who I’m not.

Since I was old enough to talk I’ve been told I will have crushes. Since I was in middle school, I’ve been told by my parents it’s okay who I have crushes on, that if I like a girl it’s okay too.

But I’ve never been told it’s okay not to have a crush. In fact, during truth or dare, every time I said I didn’t have a crush people told me I was lying, and I learned to make them up.

Since I was in middle school, I’ve been told it’s perfectly normal to be sexually attracted to girls or guys or even both. All are normal.

But I’ve never been told it’s normal not to be sexually attracted to anybody. And so when I was lectured by adults on how I need to be careful when having sex, even if I’m really attracted to the person, I smiled and nodded, not bothering to correct them.

Since I joined tumblr, I’ve been flooded with posts about how it’s okay to love who you love. No matter who you’re attracted to you’re a valid individual. I never had to look to find these posts.

But I’ve never just stumbled across a post telling me it’s okay to not have crushes and it’s okay not to be attracted to anybody. I had to search those out by following ace and aro specific blogs.

So now I’d like to present to you the definition of oppression:

oppression
[uh-presh-uh n]
noun
1. the exercise of authority or power in a burdensome, cruel, or unjust manner.
2. an act or instance of oppressing or subjecting to cruel or unjust impositions or restraints.
3. the state of being oppressed.
4. the feeling of being heavily burdened, mentally or physically, by troubles, adverse conditions, anxiety, etc.

And I dare you to tell me that I’ve never experienced oppression.

Headcanon that Izuku never stopped taking notes and filling notebook after notebook with information about the heroes he encounters. Even though he may be an aspiring hero now, it’s a habit, born out of his natural curiosity and his life-long longing to become like his heroes.

His classmates notice how Izuku can often be seen bent over his notes, scribbling away furiously while muttering to himself. But when they ask him what he’s doing, Izuku just blushes, covers his notes with both hands or stuffs them into his bag, mumbling a hasty excuse and changes the subject.

Since they live together at the dorms now, its inevitable that the children learn more about each other. Little secrets, habits… Like Kouda owning a pet bunny, Iida keeping spare glasses and Tokoyami’s true edginess.

And one day, Izuku leaves one of his notebooks lying around where the others find it.

Of course, a few of the children are far too curious for their own good. Finally, they have the chance to learn a bit more about Midoriya - because even though Izuku is a great friend and a little sunshine, he doesn’t talk much about himself.

 

Even though a few - like Uraraka and Yayorozu - protest, the others decide to read through the notebook.

Their initial excitement vanishes as they skim through the first pages. A few pages later, all of class 1-A have gathered around the notebook, looking over each other’s shoulders to see.

Izuku had taken notes about them. Detailed notes about each of his classmates and his teachers.

 

The children are speechless about it. Normally, it would be strange or unsettling when someone takes detailed notes about a person without that person knowing. But this notebook… There is so much work and love put into it. The sketches tell of love for the detail and great observation skills, while the notes next to those sketches speak about the adoration and admiration Izuku holds for his classmates and his teacher.

 

The children are not unsettled or angry because of the notebook.

They are touched by it.

It is Tsuyu who points out that there is one hero that is not to be found in the notebook.

And the class 1-A decides that they have to finish the notebook.

It takes them a few days. They are not as used or skilled at this as Izuku, and they are twenty people who first have to agree on what they do before they actually do it.

Eventually, after discussing about it, the children let their teacher in on it, too.

All Might spits blood and almost cries at the sight of the notebook, while Aizawa just stares at it, trying not to show any emotion.

Both of them agree to help.

 

(Izuku, all the while, is distressed because he can’t find his precious notes. The other try to calm him down, promising to help him look for it before they distract him.)

After their work is done, the whole class gathers in the living room one morning. They drag Toshinori - who insists that they did the most work and he did next to nothing so they should do this without him - and Aizawa with them. Izuku is out, doing his laps around the house like he does every morning.

When he comes back, he startles at the sight of twenty-two people waiting in the living room. He greets them with a crooked smile, intending to walk past them and to the bathroom to take a shower, but his friends call him back because they want to show him something.

As Izuku shuffles into the room, his friends instantly push the long-missed notebook into his hands, grinning excitedly at him.

Izuku blinks in confusion, then realization. In quick succession, he goes from embarrassment that his notebook had been seen by them all over to confusion as to why they had hidden it from him the last few days.

His classmates grin at each other, before Kirishima explains, “We had to add something in there.”

“You… you added something to my notes?!” Izuku doesn’t know if he should be shocked or even a bit angry. He skims through the pages, trying to find the changes his friends had made.

When he reaches the last few pages of the book, all breath leaves him. He stares, and stares, unable to understand what he sees there in front of him.

 

In big, bold letters, the title of the pages reads Midoriya Izuku.

Underneath and continuing on the next pages, there are crooked sketches – not as good as his, but done with love – of Izuku in different positions and outfits. A few photo had been added – Izuku recognizes the ones All Might had taken of him during their ten months of training.

And there are notes, notes over notes, observations they others had made while with him, comments of what they think about him. All of it is detailed and entirely positive, telling stories of how high their meaning of Izuku is.

Izuku is still staring silently, his brain had shut down at some point, screeched to an abrupt halt.

There is some shuffling, whispering and nudging, and finally, Toshinori speaks up – pressured by the children and Aizawa to do so. He clears his throat and explains, “Your friends… no, we figured that your notes were, in fact, incomplete.”

 

Izuku looks up at him, eyes wide and unbelieving.

Toshinori smiles at him, a beaming smile that even surpasses that of his All Might-persona. “You forgot one of the greatest heroes. We couldn’t just leave it like that, no?”

That’s the moment where Izuku breaks down and starts crying. Tears of happiness stream down his face as he clutches the notebook to his chest and says “Thank you, thank you so much” over and over, not knowing at whom he should address his thanks first out of all of them.

There is some shouting and then laughter as his friends surge forward to try and calm Izuku down, patting him on the back, hanging onto his arms and pulling him into tight hugs. Ruffling his hair and telling him that it’s okay, they had fun doing it.

 

“Don’t cry,” they tell him, soothingly.

“Yeah, smile for us, Izuku.”

And Izuku does, still sniffling and teary-eyed and the notebook almost crumpling in his tight grip, but he beams at them in that unique way that makes everyone smile back.

It’s most likely the best present they could have ever given him.

PACIFIC OCEAN (May 30, 2008) A UH-1N Huey, top, an AH-1W Super Cobra, a CH-46 Sea Knight and a CH-53E Super Stallion fly in formation during a Marine Air-Ground Task Force demonstration for a Tiger Cruise aboard the amphibious assault ship USS Tarawa (LHA 1) during the last leg of deployment from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, to San Diego, Calif. U. S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class David A. Brandenburg (Released)

It Wasn't Worth All The "Horror Movie Bullshit"

Context: I am DMing a group of players through an amped-up version of the Death House from Curse of Strahd. This is meant to be a one-shot mini-campaign where many (if not all) of them will die, so I’m doing my best to make things as dangerous and scary as possible, including playing creepy music which has them all on edge. The group has made it to the third floor of the house and found two doors, one locked and one unlocked. This takes place after they fail to open the locked door.

Player 1: So the other door is unlocked, right?

DM: Right.

Player 1: I go to open the door… 13 for perception?

DM: As you look around your notice this room is mostly empty save for a desk with a large iron key on top of it. There is also a window on the far wall and sitting on it as a porcelain doll with a faded yellow dress. It’s eyes seem to follow you.

Player 1: Nope! Fuck that! I close the door.

Player 3: But the key! What if it unlocks the other door?

Player 1: Ugh, fine. I open the door again.

DM: You see the same scene, but the doll is no longer on the windowsill.

Player 1: Uh, perception 17 to see where it is?

DM: You cautiously pure around the room, looking for any signs of a faded yellow dress, however seen nothing… Until you look down.

Player 3: NO.

DM: Yes. The doll is standing by the partially open door, looking up at you with blue glass eyes.

Player 2: I roll to fucking punt it across the room! *rolls a 2*

DM: You take a step forward and go to kick the doll with all your might… only to have it grab your boot with its tiny porcelain fingers.

Player 2: HOLY SHIT! BURN IT! BURN IT!

Player 1: I ROLLED A 15 TO CAST FIREBOLT ON THE DOLL!

DM: You hear a high pitched shriek echoing from the room as the doll’s head explodes into flames, it’s worn yellow dress catching almost immediately. You watch in abject horror as it releases its grip and stumbles back. As its hair burns away, its glass eyes roll upwards to look at you before beginning to melt back into its porcelain skull.

Player 3: NOPE! I roll to slam the door shut!

DM: The door slams shut without a problem and the screaming stops abruptly.

Player 1: Guys… we still need that key…

After some argueing about whether or not getting the key and potentially unlocking the other door was “worth all this horror movie bullshit”, Player 1 again steps up.

Player 1: Okay, I open the door again and get a 14 perception.

DM: The first thing you notice is an eerie silence followed by the distinct smell of sulfur and burning hair, and lastly you see the remains of the doll. Her body is charred black, her hair has burned away along with the clothes she was wearing, and the sockets which once held blue eyes are empty, yet somehow you still feel as if you are being watched. She sits upon the desk, holding the iron key in her lap.

Player 1: FUCK IT, I’M GONNA SPRINT IN THERE, SNATCH THE KEY AND GET THE FUCK OUT AS FAST AS I CAN!

DM: Roll me an athletics check.

Player 1: 19?

DM: You do so easily, slamming the door behind you. Congratulations, you got the key.

Queue having to take a 10 minute break as the DM laughed about their reactions and everyone shared their mutual terror of babydolls, agreeing that after this all was over they were going to burn the whole house down.