ugly poetry blog

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
She got me praying all hours of the night, say she want my heart, She pulling me to the river, drawing me with her siren's call, Done gave her my heart but now she wants my soul, Well I already sold it to the man in red, "Fell in love with your charm," but its a curse; cos am dead, Girl you're not who you say, bad girl they say you are Innocence isn't where am at, wear your crucifix bae Don't make me out all serious bonnie, slave to this bad religion, Unrequited love, praying at my shrine, cos I don't have a heart Like a dead man walking, I lay at your side, Make sure you're alright in my world, atleast that for you girl,

I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul

Poe junkie

The cold of London is forgotten in the glow of a lighter,
It is all you do to kill the grey,
Numb at the tips and you flick it right up,
And a dead man they say,
as you get High another day,
Just a drag to a smile, its chocolate.

Just a dab you use it,
Get high to get calm,
Paranoia but you do it,
Sweet lies its all like chocolate

You and your friends call it chocolate,
The lyrics of the song called it fate,
Roll up and strum the strings, chocolate to forget,
Dead inside and sad soaked futile hate,
You bite her lips, taste like wine and chocolate,
You call it chocolate, just a lie; you dead?

Your lungs they take it in like a friend,
Your heart breaks again, remember why you like it?
She broke your heart so you broke your head,
Bent with drags of chocolate, loved her but she didn’t know,
Bite your lips, light it up and inhale your fate

Inspired by the 1975 chocolate and my own addiction and self destruction
I am not beautiful.
I am a work of art.
All rough brushstrokes
And texture
And passionate imperfections.
I do not exist
To sit in a gallery
To be aesthetically pleasing
To be understood.
I exist
Just to exist.
I am not beautiful.
I am a life’s work,
Still living.
—  M.S. 
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.
You claim to love her, inside and out, but the only time you call her beautiful is when it’s 3 in the morning and I’ve already turned you down.
—  girls tell each other everything, c.j.n.
Looking back, I can’t remember the truth. I blew everything out of proportion so I could feel the hurt and betrayal and write about it in vivid detail. It was my own method of torture. My own undoing; and I enjoyed every second of it.
—  c.j.n.

i’m in my prime,
not withering and old.
but i refuse to play
your wicked games any longer.

i know this tether is unbreakable,
but you make me feel like i’m interchangeable.
you drew a target on my heart,
when did this become fatal attraction?

i don’t have the strength,
the energy,
nor the patience
to be held hostage by your love.

so baby please don’t despair
when i say that
i’ve found the courage to
let you go.

you were never meant to be tied down in the first place.

—  believing i could love you was my mistake, c.j.n.
THREE POEMS// The End and A Beginning.

1 // Bedford

Soured with the taste of another’s hips now,
Your mouth.
Swill shards around when you say my name.
Pour it out.
Glass bits.
Your lips.
I ravage them with mine to suck her out.

2// Two Halves

I clutch you to me like
we can morph back into the
Four armed
Four legged,
Two headed love beast that we once were.
But that bolt,
Slut streaked and shameless,
delivered by Zeus herself
In all her jest and jealousy
Laughingly severs us.
We are anchorless.
Forever seeking other bodies out.

3// “Yours”

Pin me up like a poster girl.
Bite into me,
I bleed blue all over you,
rake my hair,
stain your hands
with purple I imposed.
Shake my head like a unicorn when you ask me if I
“want to.”

I glimmer gold for you
‘cause I’m broke enough to pretend.
You believe in me every second.
Even when I’m unsure if I exist.

“brooklyn no. 2”

sometimes i feel like i am hanging upside down.
all the color rushing to the top of my skull.
filling up like a snowglobe,
capsules turning in little circles.

your thin lips boarded shut
just like the abandoned brownstone whose steps we drink our coffee on, sometimes,
do not divulge where you’ve been.

you will be kind to me
even with my sinews strung between your teeth.

—  ugly poetry blog