ugly laughing at this still

Hey, Jealousy

Originally posted by leafbabies

Hey, Jealousy- Auston Matthews 

Description: Moving to Toronto to work for the Maple Leafs was terrifying- until you landed Auston Matthews as a boyfriend. Your first fight with Auston is about jealousy- he’s jealous of your male best friend. You decide to elicit some jealousy yourself, by wearing William Nylander’s jersey and flirting relentlessly

Warnings: SMUTTTT, swearing, fighting

Word Count: 2,531

Author’s Note: Y’ALL it’s my first but certainly not last Auston Matthews smut! I had so much fun writing this. I don’t have any more specific players in mind for my next story, so PLEASE send me requests! I hope you guys love it, leave me feedback if you’d like! 

6 months ago:


This was it; you were giving up your normal life in a small town to make it big in Toronto. You had dropped everything to work in the front office for the Toronto Maple Leafs, a job you were dreaming of since you were a kid. You always watched hockey with your parents and brothers growing up and the Maple Leafs were your #1. Upon joining the team, you got to meet everyone, including all of the players. You were the youngest staff member in team history (which was super intimidating on its own) and you were all alone in the big city.

When you met all the players, everyone was impossibly nice and supportive. A few of them even said it was “badass” that such a young person was part of the staff. A handful of players stuck around and offered to show you around the city, since it was still offseason. Mostly the younger ones. But it was Auston Matthews who immediately caught your eye. He was hot as fuck, not in an obvious way, and his body was bangin. You could’ve sworn you saw him staring at you a few times, and then looking away whenever you caught him. All the guys were flirting with you that night but he was so sweet with you, pointing out all of his favorite landmarks and telling you stories of the team and memories him and his family have made here since he got drafted. You two just naturally clicked in a way that you had never felt before.

At the end of the night, the team had said their goodbyes, but Auston stayed behind to walk you to your door and say good night. He also asked you to go on a date with him and see where it went. You weren’t supposed to get involved with anyone you worked with, but you thought ‘fuck it’ and said yes.

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thecookiemonster77  asked:

I am v sorry I’m sending in two but I just saw “I’m alive… I can tell because of the pain.” and I can’t stop laughing bc tmfu au om g??? (Said between either two of the four idiots or one of the idiots and Sara tbh) ((you can ignore this one or the other if you want !!))

i’m doing both bc i love you and i love this au 💕 

more tmfu au

18. “I’m alive… I can tell because of the pain.”

Sara does not get paid enough for this. 

Gunfire is pretty standard, in her line of work. She’s basically a glorified babysitter, with her children being an elite team of four of the biggest names in the espionage business. 

And they are. Children, that is. 

But they are also infuriatingly good, if a little annoying at times. So, when the unmistakable sound of a firefight filter in through her earpiece, she’s honestly not too worried. 

“Get in, get the intel, get out,” Sara instructs. “Oh, also, don’t get shot.”

“We’ll try,” Viktor answers her, before there’s an explosion on his end and Sara’s connection is dropped. 

Sara bangs away at the keyboard, trying to re-establish connection. She connects a call to Phichit, who’s running intel out of a hotel room not far from where Viktor and Yuuri are infiltrating an international drug ring. 

“Phichit, help,” is all Sara says before her connection suddenly springs back to life. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu.” 

“You’re a lifesaver.”

Phichit hums in thanks before he goes back to hacking into the cartel’s bank accounts. 

Sara taps back into the team communication channel. The fight seems to be over. She does a quick check-up. 


“I’m okay!”


“I’m fine, still in the getaway car, but I think Yuuri is dead.”

“I’m alive,” Yuuri’s voice crackles in, “I can tell because of the pain.”

Viktor spends the next ten minutes fussing and fretting over Yuuri who, it turns out, wasn’t even injured during the fight. They took down all the henchman and then Yuuri, in an attempt to signal Chris, fell out a window and into a dumpster. 

A dumpster. Ex world-renowned art thief and CIA’s top agent, Yuuri Katsuki, fell into a dumpster. 

They really don’t pay her enough for this. 

// send me two characters or more and a prompt and I’ll write you a short fic //

Death Note Characters Joke Reactions
  • Light: looks at you like your joke was the dumbest thing he's ever heard
  • L: chokes on his food
  • Misa: writes your name in the death note because of how bad it was
  • Ryuk: has a really ugly laugh but laughs a lot
  • Rem: doesn't hear you the first time
  • Matsuda: still laughing two years after
  • Mello: "I've heard that one already"
  • Matt: doesn't get it and has to be told twice before the joke actually sinks in
  • Near: glares at you because you just interrupted an important investigation to ask why a chicken crossed the road
  • Teru Mikami: laughs maniacally
  • Naomi Misora: fakes a laugh cuz she feels bad for you
  • Beyond Birthday: stares blankly then kills u cuz of how lame your joke was

tea time for anon. prompt: misunderstanding

“we should go out to dinner.” levi says.

“no, that’s too… typical.”

“you’re not a typical person.”

hange laughs. “i guess not, right?” hange leans back in their chair, the front two legs lifting off the floor as they rock themselves back and forth. “how about… a movie?”

“and you said dinner was typical…”

hange lets out a belly laugh as the legs of the chair fall and connect to the tile of the kitchen floor. levi winces at the sound. “all right all right all right. how about… a museum!”

levi makes a noise, one found somewhere between boredom and intrigue. “maybe.”

“a historical museum!”

“i thought you’d say science.”

“nah, those have too many kids.”

levi doesn’t say that he likes kids, or that erwin likes kids too and that it’s the reason erwin is a teacher at all. he shakes his head. but history is more up erwin’s alley, he reasons. “history might be good.”

“then go to dinner!”

“oh, go to dinner after the museum.”

“well yeah. no date is a date without dinner.”

levi sighs heavily out of his nose, pinching the bridge of it as he squeezes his eyes shut. how hange is a genius in the neurosciences still confuses him to this day.

but this can work. now he just has to get the courage to ask the big nugget out.

erwin lingers in the hallway of hange’s house. he carefully tip toes closer to the kitchen, hoping that no floorboards will betray his presence. are hange and levi planning… a date?

he feels something churning in his gut, and the only thing he can attribute it to is jealously. he thought levi and himself were starting to hit it off. hange is their mutural friend, and they introduced the two men to each other just over six months ago. levi always gravitated toward him during events, sat quietly at his side and chuckled at his terrible jokes. he’s brash, but in a good way, where erwin never has to question his honesty or the musings inside of his head. plus, he was incredibly attractive.

he thinks… did he not appear to show enough interest? their circle of friends were all over the spectrum for sexuality, but maybe erwin came off… too straight? erwin catches a laugh in his throat before it can escape. what a stupid thing to think.

but… does he?

he rubs a hand along the back of his neck, feels that it’s sweating. notices then that his heart is racing. it makes sense. hange and levi have been friends forever. longer than he’s been friends with hange. but he always thought it was fraternal–not romantic attraction. clearly, he was wrong.

erwin decides on whether to continue into the kitchen or to head back to the living room where mike, nanaba, and moblit are lounging. it takes him a full minute to decide before he turns around and goes back to sit dejectedly on the couch next to mike.

“hey…” levi says, blowing a puff of smoke out of his mouth. the evening air is cold, but warmer than it should be for mid february.

“hello.” erwin replies.

“what are you doing out here?” levi asks, because they both know erwin has never picked up cigarette in his life, let alone smoke one.

“i needed some fresh air. hange’s burnt cookies were giving me a headache.”

levi laughs. “even if they weren’t burnt, they’d still give you a headache. i don’t know why they keep insisting they can bake. or cook. or exist.”

erwin smiles, but can’t bring himself to laugh. he still feels jealous, and it’s an ugly feeling to have toward one of his best friends. he works some words between his lips, but none of them seem right. he had been avoiding eye contact and talking to levi all evening. he had rehearsed a speech in his head–he was going going to be the one to start this, he was going to make it clear that he’s interested in levi. but the words dissolve on his tongue, and they taste bitter and a little bit rancid.

“erwin.” levi says. he flicks the end of his cigarette, but doesn’t look up at erwin until he starts talking again. “wanna hang out this weekend?”

“with the squad?”

levi’s cheeks redden slightly, or so erwin thinks. “no, just us. we can go to the history of trains museum. maybe… get some dinner or something.” his eyes sweep down to the ground now. he fidgets.

erwin can’t quite catch up with the words that were just said. a droning noise escapes his lips as his brain tries to process something to say.

“or not.” levi mutters. he kneels to snuff out his cigarette on the pavement, and then lets the butt roll down into his palm as he clenches it.

“yes!” erwin spits, and it’s almost a shout, almost a squeak. “yes.”

levi looks up at erwin, his eyebrow arched. “yes?”

“yes. absolutely. yes. please.”

“ok, don’t… make it weird.”

erwin smiles, his cheeks burning. “sorry.”

levi’s lips purse a little, the corners of his lips curling into the tiniest smile. “it’s a date, then.” 

Run // 2

Pairing: Kihyun x Reader

Words: 2.6K

Genre: Zombie apocalypse AU (Contains mild gore, cursing and probably smut in the future)

Part: 1 // 2 

Darkness and pain.

These were the first things you noticed when you regained consciousness. The pain being so intense that it took you a few moments to realise what it all meant.

‘I’m alive?’

The next thing you noticed was that you were in motion. At first you assumed your head was just spinning from the pain, and the churning in your stomach was from the earlier trauma. But as your brain cleared enough to distinguish sensations other than pain, you noticed a warmth pressed against your front while your body was occasionally bounced up, causing the nausea in your stomach.

You attempted to open your eyes, hoping a clear vision would help things, but your vision was blurred for some reason and you could only make out fuzzy shapes around you.

For a moment your heart jumped, thinking that the zombie’s were carrying you away to feed on, and your slow breathing turned into short panicked gasps. There wasn’t much strength left in your body, but you used what you had to try wriggle from the grasp you were in.

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I’m laughing @ myself bc aPPARENTLY I GOT TAGGED IN THE BIAS SELFIE TAG AND NOT THE COPY THE PICTURE TAG LMFAOOOO so here I am redoing this :-)) I got tagged by once again the beautiful @limkkukkung and once again I’ll be tagging @softboynamjoon @sighohmy @ziacod @dragonsfire I’m sorry for the 2nd tag but I’m so slow I’m so asdfghjkl hahaha.

You don’t have to do this but you all are cuties so yes pls. 

we’re pushing at the sun

For Klance Week days 3 and 4 - Scars and Welcome Home - since I missed Day 3, I’m combining them!

“Bug the blue paladin’s apartment.”

K takes the file. In it is information on the blue paladin, his comings and goings, the fact that he doesn’t have a consistent routine, how difficult it is to get into his apartment.

“It is a lavish living arrangement, with few places to hide bugs,” Sendak says.

K knows. He helped arrange it.

On AO3

Possible TW for non-graphic vomiting.

Commander Sendak snarls in fury as K comes in from his mission, his hands covered in blood, red coating the right side of his white tuxedo.

“What did I say?” he snaps, sending the agent to get cleaned up. “I said clean. I said no killing. What about that means kill three people? Now the Voltron alliance is on their guard, all because of your failings, Agent K.”

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