ughhhhh so pretty

Story time UPDATE!

I have great but not really awesome news!

So I’m not sure how many of you remember my depressing tale of my Korean coworker who has issues and has a stone wall guarding his heart. He use to say all kinds of degrading things to me, especially about my skin color, all turns out he was trying to push me away?? It’s cool if you don’t remember that but there’s more now!

So I wrote that like 2 months ago right? Well me and this boy are still friends…actually GREAT friends. We still tease each other but now he tells me everything on his mind, he includes me in activities outside of work, and lately….he’s been complimenting the shit out of me??? I’ll try to make this short but my heart is in flames!!

Basically we’re on a level of intellect and advice giving now, he has a serious imbalance of chemicals in that brain of his so I no longer get mad when he yells at me or ignores me because he always apologizes a couple of days later. Plus I don’t take it seriously, he doesn’t do this to only me but everyone he talks to, I just let it be, I know the reason behind his “episodes”. Anyway, I’ve gotten into fashion lately, since I’m not a fan of dresses and skirts, I wear pants, leggings and joggers. During one of his down days, I ignored him cuz I know he doesn’t like being bothered…well out of no where he started smiling at me and complimenting me on my joggers. I said thanks and I wouldn’t mind getting him a pair. He laughed and said “then we can be matching, people would know it’s between me and you”…uhhhh what??? I was so confused but I smiled and went to work. Yup, compliments like that came my way almost every time I saw him. I’ve been losing more weight (from 217 to 156 now) and it’s quite obvious, I’m thinner but my curves haven’t left at all. It’s not unusual for random older men to look at me now…despite my tomboyish look. So one day we were talking and all of a sudden my friend yelled “THE FUCK YOU STARIN AT?!” I looked around surprised as shit that he started getting mad, I thought he was having another episode which caught me off guard…considering his day was an up day. Down the sidewalk behind us was an older guy like 40-ish was saying “aye is that your girl?? My bad!” He then yells for him to mind his fucking business and pushes me back inside our store. He was heated and got mad at me for not checking my surroundings. I joked with him saying it happens often but he said, in the most serious tone “you look too good in those pants, you can’t just take this as a joke”….lord I didn’t know what to say so I kinda left and didn’t look back. Oh lord I already really like this guy but with him doin things like that…I couldn’t breathe man!

Most recently, last week I got a hair cut, the sides and the back so it looks like I have a fade. Just a bush on the top of my hair. It was late and I was ready to go home when he came out of nowhere. I had a crummy day so I couldn’t help but smile when I saw him…I kid you not, 10pm, turning of lights, bent over gathering my things, I heard footsteps and turned to see him in a black wife beater, some torn jeans and silver Jordan’s. He lifts so his muscles are defined! I shot up and smiled really wide and kinda sing songed his name~ he paused and looked away, almost turning around. I felt embarrassed that I was too excited to see him…but whatever, I pulled him into a hug…he held on just a little longer than needed. Anyway we chit chatted for a few and he was just staring at me. I was like “what’s up???” Then he said “God, black people have the nicest hair” not really talking to me but like thinking out loud. He then walked really close to me and asked if he could touch my hair. I laughed and said yea. He played with my little puff for a while saying how it felt like cotton or a cloud and just groomed me. I was boiling hot man! He made me sit down between his legs, he was on a step and I was on the ground so he could play with my curls. Yo, I was almost late clocking out cuz I wanted to stay just like that! Ughhhhh! So I’m pretty sure he’s feeling me too but we’re gonna keep this as it is. Right now, at this moment he’s having a down week and isn’t replying but imma be right here when he bounces back. It’s weird that I don’t want a relationship cuz my heart won’t be able to take his down days. Since we’re not together, I feel like he’s not obligated to keep in touch with me everyday opposed to how I would feel if we were together. PLUS he’s not stable enough to hold someone else’s feelings when he can’t even control his own at the moment so I’m just gonna say that what I got goin on with this Korean boy is really nice, just really REALLY nice!

Done