ugh. just... ugh

Eyes Wide Open All the Time Preview: Chapter 23


After he completes his dealing route, Haru drags his feet back to the cabin and the ocean is gray with winter, the clouds glowing white with the hidden sunrise. He scrubs his face, eyes burning with exhaustion as he keys open the front door.

Giggling and the sound of morning cartoons greet him; cold tension seeps away and his chest swells with warmth. He puts Mori’s bag on the coat rack and toes off his Converse as he takes in the sight before him. A blanket fort is left abandoned in the living room, along with the cartoons, so he follows the intoxicating scent of frying food to the kitchen.

Nao sits at the island with Percy in his lap, watching Natsuya cook at the stove with a soft smile. Natsuya’s curls are a wild tumble from sleep, which was probably interrupted by Gou, who does not understand the glory of sleeping in. She’s at the island with Nao and telling Natsuya everything he missed while he was in rehab, sharing memories between chomps of blueberry pancakes.

Haru steps closer and Nao arches a brow over a grin. “He remembered how much she liked them,” he mumbles, nodding to Gou’s pancakes. Haru smiles tiredly at that, blinking when Natsuya passes him an omelet the size of God. Hunger curls through him and he devours his food, letting Gou hang off his shoulders and nodding to everything she says about her morning with Nao and Natsuya as her sitters.

After breakfast, Gou leaves them alone in the kitchen to play with Percy in the living room. Gratefully, Haru bows his head at Nao and Natsuya. “Thank you for watching her, I’m sorry it was such short notice. Miho called last night about those deals and I didn’t know what to do.” He didn’t want to interrupt Rin and Sousuke’s date and call them to watch Gou – let them have what peace they can cling to, if only for a few more hours.  

Nao waves the apology away and Natsuya offers a lazy grin, assuring, “She was a welcome distraction from everything going on.” He absently wipes the island down, his eyes lost to memories. “She’s nothing like Ikuya was as a kid. He slept ‘til noon, begged Mom to order a pizza, ate that, then went right back to sleep.”

Nao reaches over and touches his hand, making Natsuya deflate with a sigh. He brings Nao’s fingers to his lips and kisses them in appreciation before saying, “At Rough Rabbit, I found old blueprints to some more abandoned railways. Some older members remember there being a railroad in the outskirts, so I’m going to keep digging and try to find a map – see if we can’t make our own path through the woods and find these Bloodhounds and get my brother back.”

Haru lifts his chin with determination. “I’ll be right behind you. We all will.” Nao nods in assurance.

Natsuya and Nao leave after that, but not before Gou embraces them. Natsuya props her on his hip to kiss her cheek and says, “It was wonderful to see you again, Princess.”

She grips his leather jacket earnestly. “You won’t be gone forever again, will you?”

His face strains to repress emotion. “No.” A smile flutters about his mouth. “I’m here to stay.”

She beams and hugs them both once more.

Haru showers off the grime of the night, steam billowing off his skin, so good that he nearly falls asleep standing up. Afterwards, he puts on some sweats and immediately dives for Makoto’s flannel, which Haru wore home after their first night together. He inhales against the collar and calm washes over him, but his heart aches with loneliness.

Haru shrugs on the shirt and thumbs through his phone, hesitating for a moment. He almost pours out his heart in the message, wanting to write I miss you, come see me, but he settles for good morning.

The reply is instant. (っ◕‿◕)っ♥♥♥ Good morning!!!

“Oh God,” Haru whispers, clutching his heart out of fear that it might truly burst because that’s the cutest shit he’s ever seen. He flops back on his bed and takes a deep breath and maybe a few dozen screenshots of the message to save for darker times.

His phone buzzes another time. I missed waking up beside you

Haru muffles his groan against a pillow, gripping his stomach so the butterflies will not tear free. He rolls over and stares up at the ceiling, stilling when an idea sparks to life.

Pursing his lips around a smirk, he opens the camera app and switches it to the front-facing camera. His face looks like death warmed over from lack of sleep, so he angles it lower and straightens his arm to lean further away from the phone. The wider shot gets the column of his throat and the sharp rise of his collar bones, Makoto’s flannel parted just enough to reveal the muscled valley between his pecs, which is still glistening from his shower. He doesn’t know what possess him to snap a picture and send it, but he goes along with it and adds the message, that make you feel better?

He chews his grinning lip when Makoto responds. Oh my god

In a good way or bad way?

YOU made me trip over Echo and I landed on the bedroom floor but it was the best thing that’s ever happened to me I’m still texting from the floor I don’t even care. you’re everything. you are everything to me

Haru’s laugh rings through the room and he hugs a pillow to his chest.

Anyone know any svtfoe blogs who don’t post/reblog a ton of st//arco? Occasional reblogs/posts of that ship are fine, though. Specifically if they’re tagged, too. I’d love to see n follow more svtfoe blogs. Especially blogs who enjoy and reblog content for the trans Marco theory, but also just general ones!

I don’t think my parents intend to come off as homophobic or transphobic or anything like that, but having to argue with them that there are people in this world that identify as neither male nor female and prefer they/them pronouns is getting exhausting, because you may be born physically as male or female but that doesn’t mean you identify as that.

And my poor sibling Percy is sitting there, preferring they/them pronouns when its just us and it makes me so fucking mad

Nonbinary, agender, genderfluid, trans, and everyone in between, you are VALID

just watched last week tonight’s segment on vaccines and the fact that they showed a “mother of a child with autism” talking about “trying to find the causes of autism” and just in general made it sound like autism was a bad thing or something is incredibly dissapointing to me, honestly i would expect better of john oliver

On the one hand, going through this stack of vintage horror and alternative fiction magazines that I was given is fascinating. Oooh, an issue of Dreams of Decadence (I’m keeping that one)! An interview with Ray Bradbury!

On the other hand, whoo, there’s a bunch of them that are in NO WAY appropriate to be put in Eldergoth Surprise Boxes, because of soft-core photos (which are also damn unimaginative - really, how many photos of topless girls drenched in blood does the world need?), and edgelord trying to be oh-so-shocking fiction.

When I do put Eldergoth Surprise Boxes up for sale (soon-ish!), if you buy one, are over 18, and want a helping of, um, schlock in yours, let me know. I’ll toss one of these in.

(Look, I have read stuff in the “splatterpunk” genre (because David J. Schow is an excellent writer), but these magazines are … ugh. Just ugh.)

okay but thought:

Maleficent is looking for the Book of Prophecies and also managed to get back into the time of the Keyblade War. Ven was around during said time! And in a leadership position wow! Huh what do you know! And oh man these two will also share time-space coordinates during KH3 probably! Wow would you look at that a powerful fairy with 0 morals and unbelieveable conviction and determination and a kid who knows just what she wants to know probably in the same room whaddya know.

Man I can’t wait to see Maleficent kidnap Ven so she can find out where the Master of Master’s Box and other shit is.

pride is an odd time for me because part of me really hates it when cishets participate?? like ok i get that we need allies and that some of them are genuinely trying to help and those aren’t the people im talking about. i mean the cishets that think pride is just a big party. the cishets that get mad that they weren’t “invited” and that we’re not “including them.” i just hate that some of them think it’s cool for them to just go to parades and act like it’s just some trendy party that they can snap a cool selfie for their instagram followers at. it just makes me so mad because they never cared when pride was a protest. how many of these cishets would actually go and stand up for us when our livelihood is being threatened? how many of them cared when we were fighting for marriage equality? how many of them care about the transgender people who can’t safely use the restroom? how many of them care about our fight for employment equality and better healthcare for trans people and better treatment of hiv and the fight against conversion camps? how many of them didn’t bother to vote in the 2016 election? so many of these cishets don’t know anything about our movement or our history or our struggles, they don’t know the names of the first lgbt activists, they don’t know what stonewall is or why its so important, they don’t know how dangerous it was for people like us to simply EXIST. their support is so performative. and if it weren’t for the cishets that oppress us, we wouldn’t even need a pride!! so excuse me if i don’t want my oppressors partaking in an event that is supposed to be about love and acceptance and equality for people like me!! everything is for cishets. they have everything. why can’t they just let us have this ONE THING without encroaching into our safe spaces and talking over us and pushing to be included when they’ve NEVER made an effort to include us in the first place?? like ok cool come to our parades and support us please but remember that it’s NOT ABOUT YOU. it’s really not. just let us have this. please.

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25.06.17 | new spread for next week & current mood presented by Arťa

I’m trying out this new minimalist bujo but I’m not sure it will work for me :/ I like how it looks but the ring binding is too big and makes it hard to write on the left side I swear my handwriting isn’t that bad  but maybe if I buy a new notebook? 🤔 😄