Ugh this mashup is 🔥🔥🔥👌👌👌

so yesterday somebody stole the shortbread from my cupboard in the teachers’ lounge. This morning i wanted to have a cuppa before classes but the tea was also gone and i sort of had a meltdown right there and then. ANYWAY, al and i got into an argument with the chem teacher over the difference between scone/cookie/shortbread and tl;dr al went out for lunch and got me this key cover because he’s the best bro

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People in my age group make me wanna punch myself in the face.

“If your boyfriend doesn’t wanna touch your butt at all times, is he even your boyfriend?”

Yes, if your boyfriend doesn’t wanna touch your butt at all times, he is still your boyfriend, and you better fucking hold on to him because he likes you for more than just your physical appearance and he respects you. Control your hormones.

anonymous asked:

Okay bb - first of all when you look as slammin' as you do at 34 the correct answer to how old you are is "34 bitches! Bow down!" Second, I'm multiple years older than you. So much so that I had to get special permission to even be on Tumblr and sign a waiver that I wouldn't hurt myself trying to understand how all this new-fangled technology works.