ugh-so-rude

Silly Robbie Headcanon

I know that we can all agree that Robbie probably can swear when by himself.  

But consider this : Robbie is such a soft boy that he doesn’t swear at all.  Ever.

  • If he accidentally swears, he gasps and covers his mouth and looks around to be sure nobody heard him.
  • He says really stupid things instead of real swears, like:
    • Oopsie-Doopsie
    • Fiddlesticks
    • Peanut-Butter Sandwiches!
    • Oh Caramel Cream Pie
    • COOKIES AND CREAM
    • Cracker Jacks
    • FUDGE IN A HANDBASKET
    • You sir… are a pickle. 

Because no matter how much of a villain Robbie wants to be, he is a really soft and sweet pure individual.

But don’t tell him.

  • He also gasps really loud when someone else swears
  • And smacks their arm
  • YOU SAID THE ‘F’ WORD
  • Don’t swear!
  • THERE ARE CHILDREN
clipping: Philadelphia 3/4

Here is my doofy write up of an amazing night.

  • We had to wait out side in freezing cold for 45 minutes for the doors to open, but it was worth it because my friend Dana and I were some of the first people in
  • While Dana wient to check our coats, I went and made friends with Josh, clipping’s merch table guy. He is an older, very kind very sweet gentleman. I explained that we were super interested in saying “hi” to the band and texted them for us, said they would meet us at the merch table after their set.
  • Bless my BFF Dana. Her tall all loud mouth Jersey girl self dragged me through the pit and we were right up front against the stage.
  • Ok so. Here’s the thing. FUCK PHILLY FUCK FLAMING LIPS CROWD FUCK EVERYONE. Jon came out first and I screamed “JON!” and people clapped (some dickhole behind me was like “is it one guys with a laptop”) then Bill came out and I yelled his name and tried to get people to clap then Daveed came out and I screamed his name and he WAVED RIGHT AT ME (I mean I was right there) and I was like “Surely out of these 3000 people some of you fuck sticks know who GODDAMN DAVEED DIGGS IS” and I guess he’s still not as famous as I think he is? Anyway. The crowd S U C K ED. Here’s why
    • They played their asses off. They played Inside Out, Body and Blood, Wriggle, Air Em Out, Work Work, The Breach, Baby Don’t Sleep, Story #? (can’t remember which one), Shooter… and Jon and Bill did a a few noise only pieces. EVEN WITH THEIR HEARTS OUT THERE THE CROWD WAS NOT HYPE.
    • Of course, I was screaming and jumping and singing along and dancing and trying to get people to cheer. There was me, Dana, a couple next to us and two hipster white dudes a few feet away from me that were clipping fans everyone else was just like dead quiet and confused, on their phones in shit. RIGHT ON THE FRONT ROW WHERE HE COULD SEE YOU. So rude. Ugh. 
    • This one jackass in a Clown Wig behind us yelled “BOO YOU SUCK” And Dana turned around and cursed him out. 
    • I yelled “WE LOVEYOU” And Daveed blew a kiss right down at me. 
    • I hate my city. Agh. 
  • So after their amazing set where they did not get the love they deserved, we went back to the merch table to good old Josh, bought t-shirts, and he told us to sit tight the band was on their way. There was a little bar area that was empty so we just sat there. 
  • Daveed came out and directly came over to me and Dana. He was so smiley and I immediately told him “I am so sorry my city did not give you the love your guys deserve” and we chatted and he REMEMBERED ME and was like “I wear your scarf a lot, I couldn’t bring it on tour because I don’t want anything to happen to it” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • He told me he saw me getting hyped and thnked me. DUDE DO NOT THANK ME  DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
  • ok so for the next ½ hour, he hung out with us and talked one on one to me about stuff just chill af. We offered to buy him a drink (he had a mug of tea!!!!) but he was like “I am avoiding alcohol because of my vocal chords” so my friend Dana got him a bottle of water and he was so grateful. 
  • Maybe like 2 other people came up to take pics with him but he just stuck around and talked to us
  • I WAS SMOOTH AS FUCK. I was totally myself. I was so much more starstruck the last time I met him, and this time I got to be myself. Talking to him was wonderful. 
  • We talked about his music, his career, his time as a teacher. He asked me about the school I want to open one day, thanked me (!!!!) for teaching. 
  • Dana told him her 3 year old loved his Rubber Ducky take on Sesame Street. He said “That was one of the most fun things I ever got to do.”
  • After that 30 min or so he was like “I have to go finish helping the guys load up the van” which was fine because I was ready to leave and didn’t wan’t to over stay my welcome. I had already taken so much of his time. He gave us each the BEST HUG EVER (no he doesn’t smell LIKE ANYTHING but his sweater was really soft). And we wished him luck on his tour and he went back stage. 
  • Ok so when Daveed talks to you, he is just so present? Like he looks AT YOU at your FACE and listens and he’s EXPRESSIVE and he’s also super touchy? Like he touched my arm, my hand, my shoulder when talking to me. He’s so affectionate. I remembered this from last time (when he cuddled me unprompted) and I was still not ready for it. I don’t know how I was cooler and chiller this time but I was but still. That man putting his hands anywhere on my person is just like GAHHHHHHHH.
  • They put on a great show. I hope they continue to get exposure and make new fans. 
  • I think I looked pretty damn cute. My goal was to get Daveed to…ya know…check out the boobies, and I can say with confidence this goal was met. (But he wasn’t creepy about it.)
  • If you HAVE THE CHANCE go see clipping. GO. DO IT. They put on an amazing show (seeing Daveed rap in person is a religious experience) and you will still have so much fun even if you don’t get to meet him. But if you do, be kind and respectful. He is so sweet, he will make you feel so valued as a fan.

I love you guys. 

anonymous asked:

Prompt for Enjonine? "I work at a movie theater and I'm trying to clean up but you're still here, ugly crying" :P

(ancient prompt? FILLED!)

dedicated to everyone who’s still reading and writing for this ship, in particular to the awesomesauce @aurimaedre who deserves some fluff. 

..

She’s been here for a while. She’s seen things, some of them she will never be able to unsee, not even if she lives to be a hundred years old. She has seen everything from full frontal nudity to proposals to vomit in every direction - and she hasn’t just seen it on the jumbo screen 

And the tears? She was around when PS I love you premiered (as a surly teenager) and for the hype surrounding The Fault In Our Stars (as the surly assistant manager). 

So she gets it - even the tough guys needed tissues when Han Solo died. And she’s heard that the latest Star Wars movie involved some kind of heroic last stand, so she’d stocked up on the Kleenex. 

She just was not expecting the most outspoken idiot running for Congress to be the weepy mess she would physically have to drag from his seat after the 7 PM showing of Rogue One. 

The surly teen currently on cleanup duty, some friend of Gavroche’s she’d hired out of something resembling pity, had been way too terrified to ask the intimidating man in the three piece suit to get up and leave. Eponine had no such issues. 

“Sir?” she had to force herself to stay polite. “I have to ask you to leave. Your weeping is freaking out my employees and we have another showing to prepare for.” 

Zero tact. Yes, she was aware. 

Keep reading

@aniyousmindpool right?! i want to go find my cutest cutesy magics to reblog that post again. that said the last time i did an emoji spell was like MONTHS ago and it’s lost somewhere in my IG account so I’m not gonna look for it.

i have a rubber duck with sigils. maybe that.

gatekeeping is so rude, ugh.

anonymous asked:

"We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU" with Derek please oh my goodness 😂

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I have been looking forward to writing this one! So many possibilities! (Now, remember - In my head, Derek is in his early 20’s. Maybe 22, 23. An 18 year old and a 23 year old is not all that uncommon. That is only 5 years. Some people have an even wider age gap, but for some reason, once you get to your 20’s it’s okay. “Acceptable”. Sorry. Mini rant.)

I do not own Teen Wolf or it’s characters. Sadly.

We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation we fucking hate each other, let’s bang it out AU

Xxx

Playing wingman - wingwoman? - for anyone was bad enough, but being coerced into it by your best friend may top that.

“Oh, please?” Stiles asked you.

“You do know I am a girl, right?” You asked your friend, whom you had known since kindergarten.

“Well, not with that attitude you’re not,” he said in a somewhat disjointed, snarky voice, pausing for a moment at your raised eyebrow. “Okay, yeah, that made absolutely no sense. But still. Yes, I know you are a girl, but you’re my best girl and I-”

“Scott, Isaac, and Liam all already said no, didn’t they?” you nodded as Stiles overlapped your last two words, “They already said no!” his hand held out in front of him, gesturing to the vacant spaces your friends usually took, letting it slap down to his thigh in aggravation.

“Fine. But on one condition.”

“Anything,” Stiles said in relief.

“You ask me to do this ever again? I get your bat.”

“We’ll talk,” he said after a moment with a hesitant smile, throwing his arm around your shoulders as the two of you left the school.

Xxx

Pulling up to a club in Stiles’ Jeep was about the most anticlimactic entrance ever. He parked far away so no one would “ding, scratch, or deflate” anything, so you were stuck walking what felt like miles in your high heels, tugging up the top of your strapless dress for the millionth time, and wondering why you were wearing it for the millionth and one time.

“Stiles, who are you meeting again?” You asked, finally slipping your shoes off for the rest of the distance.

“Lydia.”

“What?” You stopped, holding his arm to make him stop. “Stiles…. This is huge. Like, massive. This night is either ending with you in heaven or hell-”

“Don’t you think I know that?!” He cut you off. “Why else do you think I asked you to come? She likes you. You guys are friends. I thought, maybe you could help ease the tension.”

“Oh, you so owe me your bat for this,” you mumbled, stomping past him as fast as your dress would allow.

You were surprised to show up at the bar and see none other than Derek Hale, flanking Lydia, broody as ever.

Stiles was laughing uncontrollably. “Derek? Derek is your wing- Ahahahahahaha!!!” He was bent over at the waist laughing, Lydia trying to hide her own smile behind pursed lips, looking up at the broody werewolf before a small giggle escaped her lips. “And doesn’t he just look thrilled to be here?”

“Everyone else had already said no?” You nodded as both Derek and Lydia overlapped your last two words in unison monotone, “Everyone else already said no.”

Stiles and Lydia went off to a little table as you leaned on the bar, your back to it, resting on your elbows.

“So,” Derek said, mirroring your pose.

“So,” you mimicked, watching everybody on the dance floor bump and grind to the beat that gave you a headache. “I wish you had told me before you bit me stuff like this,” you gestured to the speakers, “would be nauseating.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Derek scoffed. “Would you have preferred me let you bleed out and die?”

“Don’t get sassy with me, Hale. It’s not like I asked to get caught in the middle of a werewolf fight.”

“It was your choice to leave my pack,” he said quietly, his tone venomous.

“Oh, this night is just turning out lovely,” you said with a bright smile, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “Five minutes in and already the fangs are coming out.”

Derek stared at the cup of whatever brown alcohol he had, muttering, “I wish this stuff worked.”

“Well, I am going to dance. I didn’t dress up just to show up here and argue with you all night.”

“You do that,” he said with a fake smile.

It was a side of Derek you only got to see after getting so close to him for so long. He was snarky, an ass, but still snarky.

Making your way to the dance floor, you glanced over at Stiles and Lydia, seeing them deep in a conversation. You were tempted to eavesdrop, but decided against it.

Right as you got to the edge of the dance floor, you paused, waiting for the right time to join in, and that moment hit right as you felt a presence behind you, and a hand around your wrist. Turning, you saw Derek, his eyes roaming the dance floor, flickering red on and off.

“What the hell, Derek?” You tried to pull your hand free, but you weren’t able.

He pulled you close, your back to his chest, and mumbled into your ear, “That group of guys in the corner?” You looked up to see a table filled with guys a little older than Derek. “They have been staring at you since you walked in. Saying things about you. So has every other guy, given, and I don’t blame them,” that last comment made you shiver and you felt his arm snake around your waist protectively. “But they are hunters, and are looking for some fun tonight. So stay right here with me. I already called Chris and he is on his way to get them out of here.”

“You flashed your eyes-”

“They didn’t see me. I was warning the pack.”

“The pack is here? I thought they were busy-”

“Tracking the group of hunters. Us meeting here is happenstance.”

“Why are you protecting me?”

“You may not be in my pack anymore, but I still made you. You’re still my beta. And as much as I fucking hate you,” he said the last part with a grin you could hear, “I’ll always protect you.”

“We can’t just stand here on the dance floor and not dance. That looks conspicuous.”

“Wow. You’re using big words. Nice. And you know I don’t dance.”

“Even to save a life?” You asked hurriedly, seeing the group eyeing you, making their way across the floor slowly. Spinning around in his arm still around your waist, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, which turned into a rather heated kiss unexpectedly, your hands running through his hair, his hands spread across your back as he pulled you to him.

Pulling away, your breathing ragged, you couldn’t help the small grin tugging on your lips, before whispering in his ear, “Just like riding a bike, right?”

He smiled and nodded, suddenly pulling you along, threading through dancing bodies. You glanced over to find Stiles and Lydia gone. “When did they-”

“About ten minutes ago,” Derek mumbled, walking faster.

You checked your phone that had a text from Stiles with party emojis filling your screen. You rolled your eyes.

With a tug, Derek pulled you into the single back bathroom, locking the door behind him.

“Derek, what the hell?”

“They were coming and Chris isn’t here yet. We needed a plan B.”

“So we’re hiding out in the bathroom-”

“Kiss me.” Derek’s head was tilted, and you could tell he was listening.

“What?”

He sighed, leveling his gaze on you. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” you said softly, his features softening just briefly, and you couldn’t help the feeling of security that admission brought. Hating someone was hard work.

“Good. Because this is going to get awkward and I need you to just follow my lead and trust me.”

Looking up at the door frantically, you used your hearing and could hear they were just about to round the corner into the hall.

Suddenly you were pressed against the bathroom door, the wind being knocked out of you. You looked up at him questioningly, then his lips were on yours, and despite your best efforts, you found yourself falling into old patterns, your body remembering old moves, your voice remembering sounds it hadn’t made since the two of you broke up months ago.

Your hands wound into his hair just like before, only this time, when you opened your eyes, you saw his bright red staring at you, glancing at the door behind you, the muffled voices barely registering with you, and he slammed his hands on either side of your head, making the door rattle, and earning a few amused chuckles from outside in the hall.

Derek rolled his eyes before looking into yours, moving to your ear to whisper, “Follow my lead.”

“Aren’t I already?” You whispered back, both of you chuckling lightly.

“God, I fucking hate you,” he said loudly before kissing you again.

Oh. One of these scenes. Gotcha.

He began to kiss down your neck, and you wondered how much he was saying and doing to simply sell to the other side of the door. Regardless, you took the opportunity to speak your mind.

“Ugh! You’re so pompous, and rude and-” you were cut off by your own moan betraying you, looking down and catching Derek nibbling at a sweet spot on your neck, and you pushed him away, making him stumble loudly before you slammed him into the side of the bathroom stall, making it clang loudly, even leaving a dent. “Don’t even get me started on your hair. God, your hair! It always has to be perfect, and you look like a douche! Who uses that much gel anyway?”

You felt a growl rumbling in his chest so you kissed him, mumbling, “Too much?”

He flipped you around, and you smirked up at him, your back to the stall. “You’re one to talk.”

You gasped before he cut you off with another kiss, your voice once again finding sounds it had lost.

“This dress is way too short,” Derek said quietly in your ear, placing a hand on your bare thigh, lazily dragging the tip of his fingers up lightly when an awkward, tentative knock sounded on the door, making you both freeze.

“Um, I’m sure I don’t want to know, but, uh,” Chris cleared his throat, “I got rid of them.”

Turning and unlocking the door, Derek swung it open, letting you walk out first. “Plan B,” he said to Chris, patting him on the shoulder once as you both walked back to the main floor.

“Stiles was my ride. Great. Now I’m stranded.”

“I can give you a lift if you want?” Derek said, fixing his mussed up hair. “You can even stay at the loft for a while, watch a movie maybe?”

“Yeah, that would be nice,” you said softly, smiling gently. “But I still fucking hate you.”

“Right back at you,” he said, putting an arm around your waist and ushering you to his car.

prsphny  asked:

Someone told me I was disgusting a while ago and I made a smartass reply saying "Yeah farting and burping in front of your dad is pretty disgusting"

Ugh, antis are just so rude. Glad you aren’t taking them seriously 💙

  • someone: ugh why do ppl ship dirkroxy its QUEER ERASURE n gROSS ew
  • everyone: YA IK RIGHT LMFAO IDIOTS FUCK DIRKFEM DIRKS SOOO GAYYY HE LIKES IT UP DA BUTTHOLE LOVEEES JAKE LOL
  • me:
  • me:
  • me: why do people like dirkjake. its abusive. jake led dirk on and dirk wanted to change jake into what he wasnt. dirk only fell in love with the idea of jake. the relationship was toxic and just created problems no one needed
  • everyone:
  • everyone: GO FUCK YOURSELF OMG CALM DOWN JUST BC U DISLIKE A SHIP DOESNT MEAN U HAVE TO SHIT ALL OVER IT. UGH UR SO RUDE. DINT GET UR PANTIES IN A FUCKIN KNOT. THEY WERE IN LOVE. HOW WAS IT ABUSIVE???? UGH YOU HOMOPHOBIC PIECE OF SHIT. STOP SHIPBASHING
  • Artemus: Garrett don't do the thing
  • Garrett: I'm gonna do the thing
  • Artemus: Garrett doing the thing would be dangerous
  • Garrett: Hahaha whatever Dad the thing can't hurt me I'm too awesome
  • Artemus: Garrett doing the thing would be selfish
  • Garrett: No fucks to give, Dad, sorry not sorry
  • Artemus: Doing the thing would be illogical
  • Garrett: *double duce flippin the bird*
  • Artemus: Garrett... the Order kind of needs you to do the thing because of... prophesy or reasons.
  • Garrett: WOAH WHAT WHY NO WHY ARE YOU KEEPERS STILL BUGGING ME UGH GOD DAD SO RUDE
  • Garrett: *does the thing*

Female Gintama Character: *attacks a male character during a gag scene, defends herself against someone else’s stupidity*

Fandom: Ugh she’s so rude and mean, why does anybody like her?

Kamui: *abandons Kagura as a child, tries to kill her twice, openly sees women as only useful for having children*

Fandom: I love him he’s my son!! My husband!! Such cute trash!!


I’m not saying you can’t like or dislike a character. You can like kamui or a bad villain character and that’s not a problem. You can dislike any female character and that’s not a problem either, not all females are innocent pure beings made to be on pedestals, that’s not what I’m saying with the above post. What I am saying is that there is a prevelant, common difference in how female and male characters are treated by fans, as shown by the above.

Female characters can’t seem to escape the hate, while male characters who have done far worse are glorified and loved. It’s okay to like a bad character, that doesn’t make you a bad person in the least, but it seems like only male villains are treated this way, not the females.

But what about them? How are they treated in comparison?

Look at Matako. She’s with the antagonist side yes, but she’s never done with Kamui or Takasugi have done, and gets little to no attention. I’ve seen her reduced to “TAKASUGI SAMAAA” many times. She’s gotten just as much screentime as other side characters, yet not as much fandom related content. Certainly not even near the same level of love that others get.

What about Nobume? She’s loved plenty by the fandom and was an antagonist for a while. But look at her first appearance. She was thought of as a clone of Sougo and used in many okikagu tropes as a jealousy tool, or a hated man stealer. She’s reduced to okinobu vs okikagu pissbaby ship fights. She only started getting attention as she revealed her true good nature and was shown as a good character, only getting widespread love after dropping the antagonist title.

Now, you could use the argument of the female characters not having as much backstory as the males, but that wouldn’t work really because of Kamui. He’s adored, he was loved from his first appearance and on, yet we don’t get any explanation on why he is the way he is, how he found out about yato traditions and adopted that delusional and extreme thinking. We just know he attacked his father and left and came back randomly as a pirate. That’s all. He doesn’t even have as much screentime as some of the recurring females that are hated for how they act in response to the men being insulting. Yet Kamui is not held accountable for trying to kill the heroine, and not held accountable for how he views women, all unprovoked and in a non-humorous scene that’s meant to be taken seriously.

Yet we frequently see posts on how annoying Tsukuyo is for getting irritated at Gintoki being rude.

Or Tae punching the man that was stalking her.

I’ve even seen hate towards Kagura for acting like a kid, which is, ya know, what she is.

If you’re gonna see gags that way, look at how Gintoki treats Sarutobi.

I’m not trying to hate on any characters with this argument, I’m not trying to offend people or tell anybody that their faves are problematic and they shouldn’t like them. I’m not trying to tell you what characters to like or dislike, that’s your decision and I can’t make that for you.

But what I am asking is for an observation on the difference in how males and females are treated in fandom.

Because there is one.

Nice Guns

i wrote the first half of this at work on my phone. possibly bad; this genre is quite removed from what i normally write.

featuring: awkward satya, wingman hana, and bemused fareeha.

It was the eleventh hour, Satya was getting cold feet, and Hana was at the end of her rope. 

“It’s not hard. I’ve seen you do much harder things without breaking a sweat." 

"This is different,” Satya said, somehow managing a stately air even when nervously playing with the hard-light emitting from her left palm. “People are different. Especially–" 

"Especially when you liiike them?” It was probably mean to be teasing her, but Hana had no patience left. If needling Satya got results, needling it would have to be. “Especially when it's Fareeha?" 

"You’re making me regret ever asking you for help,” Satya said through tight lips, looking away. 

“Okay, okay,” Hana relented. “I’m sorry. Look, I know you’re nervous, but it’ll be fine. And when I say you’ve been through harder–if you can blast a Talon agent’s face off from three feet away with your projector, you can definitely deliver a pick-up line." 

Satya took a deep breath, seeming to steel herself. "You’re right. I can do this." 

Hana checked her handheld. In exactly seven minutes, Fareeha Amari would emerge from the doors of the gym adjacent them, done with her workout and heading for the showers, just as she did each morning. 

(It really was a match made in heaven, Hana thought.) 

And then, just as they’d practiced, Satya would flawlessly deliver her line, Pharah would respond positively, and they’d set a date for Friday. Yes. Another easy win for D.Va. 

Or, at least, it should have been, had someone not been getting cold feet. 

"Okay. Let’s run through it again. I’m Pharah." 

"All right.” Satya concentrated, then donned a look of artificial surprise. “Oh, Captain Amari! I like–" 

"No, no. No Captain Amari. Pharah or Fareeha. Informal. You’re flirting, not attending a military briefing." 

"It seems…so rude." 

"Ugh, Satya! She’ll love it; trust me. Nobody else calls her Captain Amari. You think we’re all being rude too?" 

Satya’s expression said, "Yes, absolutely, very much so,” but outwardly she only pursed her lips. 

“‘Hello, Fareeha,’ then." 

"Okay…?” Hana said, leaning forward, egging her on. 

“I like–” Satya stopped, shook her head, and then continued, a look of disproportionate intensity crossing her face. “I like your guns." 

There you go,“ Hana said, deciding that now was probably not the best time to critique Satya’s form. It was important to optimize morale. 

"But what if she doesn’t know what it means? What if she thinks it’s…crass?" 

"It’s too late to worry about that now. Look, she’ll get it, and she’ll like it. I swear. If she doesn’t, you can blame me." 

(A promise she might regret making later, but, well. That was Later Hana’s problem.) 

Satya opened her mouth, but before she had the chance to say whatever she’d been about to say, the reinforced glass doors of the gym slid open, revealing their target herself. Fareeha’s hair was pulled back, her workout clothing was slightly damp, and sweat gleamed on her skin.

Hana thought it was something of a miracle that that alone wasn’t enough to quash Satya’s interest.

Fareeha looked surprised to see the two of them lurking outside, but in typical form she recovered quickly. 

"Hana, Satya. What are you doing out here?" 

Hana gave Satya a meaningful look, but the woman seemed to have been overtaken by the sort of paralyzing fear typically associated with the imminent possibility of death. Her mouth was silently moving, her eyes were wide, and it seemed unlikely she would recover immediately.

"Hey, Fareeha, you know, yesterday I was watching Jack on the practice range,” Hana said, attempting to divert attention from Satya’s current predicament. “I think he was trying to beat your records with those helix rockets of his, but he didn’t even come close.”

“That's—”

“And then at my livestream last night, someone accused me of hacking. Me! How petty can you get? I can sleep at night knowing that I’ve never even thought about using an aimbot in my life, and that idiot has to live with himself, knowing he got told to git gud by D.Va—”

“Hana,” Fareeha interrupted firmly,  "I would love to chat, but I’m in something of a hurry.“ And then she was throwing her towel over her shoulder and heading for the showers. Satya was still chewing her lip, looking panicked, and Hana threw caution to the winds.

"Wait! Satya has something she wanted to tell you.”

Fareeha paused and looked back. Satya managed to send quite a vicious look Hana’s direction before she seemed to pull herself together. She straightened, clasped her hands behind her back, and stared at Pharah with utmost seriousness.

“Er, what is it?” Fareeha asked.

“Captain F—Amari,” Satya said. “I like—I like—”

Here it comes. Hana leaned forward in her perch on the windowsill. It had looked grim there for a few moments, but Satya was righting the ship.

“I—admire your dedication to justice and the protection of innocents.”

Hana herself couldn’t say whether the noise that escaped her mouth was a hysterical laugh or a groan of despair. Probably it was somewhere between the two.

When she managed to sit up straight once more, she saw Fareeha wearing a puzzled but not entirely displeased expression. Satya, for her part, had gone utterly stiff once more.

“Well…thank you?” Fareeha said, and seemed to decide on pleased. She smiled, then turned and disappeared down the hall toward the locker rooms.

When she was gone, Satya collapsed (rather dramatically, Hana thought) onto a conveniently-produced hard-light stool and buried her face in her hands.

“What happened? We practiced!” Hana slid off the windowsill and paced in circles.

“Never mind. I’m sorry for wasting your time, Hana,” Satya mumbled into her palms. “I am clearly a lost cause.”

Immediately, she felt bad. “No, no. Come on. At least you said something, right? And she smiled, so it’s not like she was totally weirded out or anything.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Wrong! Hey, the Satya I know doesn’t give up like that. Show her what you’re made of. It can only go up from here, right?”

Satya lifted her head, considered, and then nodded. Her face steeled.

“Yes. I can only go up from here.”

At dinner that night, Hana was sitting at her table and poking at her food, waiting for the others to join her. As Satya approached, Fareeha walked behind her and seemed to murmur something. Satya’s lips parted, her mouth curling into a smile that she was obviously trying very hard to suppress. She looked back to respond, but Fareeha was already sitting down, a private smile adorning her own features.

Satya’s shy grin remained as she sat down across from Hana.

“What did she say?”

“She said nothing.”

“Satyyyya. Come on!”

“This is neither the time nor the place.”

“I’m your wingman! You have to tell me.”

Satya merely pursed her lips primly and began eating.

It took a full half-hour to finally whine and plead and coax the answer out of her, but at last Satya tired of Hana’s inexhaustible energy and told her.

“She said, 'I find your love of order very attractive as well.’” She smiled while recounting it, seemingly unable to resist.

Yes!” Hana let out a gleeful shout and punched the air, earning a reproachful look from Hanzo at the next table. “It worked! It worked!”

“I suppose it did,” Satya allowed, resuming eating.