ugh you are the worst

its au time you sons of hecks

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Mood: wants to support the groups but doesn’t want to support companies that take advantage of young children and teenagers who would do anything to achieve their dreams and who get overworked, underpaid and abused 24/7

3

Well he must’ve done something right. You turned out pretty good.

“Kill your curiosity. Kiss me already.” - Nishat Ahmed (x)

Castiel sighs as the feeling starts up again.

“This again,” he mutters in annoyance, hoping it won’t take too long to notch down to ‘normal’ amounts.

Cas has long since been able to deal with Dean’s longing. At first, it was horribly disorienting but soon enough he had gotten used to carrying on like it wasn’t even there, like tuning out background noise as he waited for Dean to make a move.

However, lately, Dean’s longing had kept surging sporadically and Cas was back to being disorientated whenever the levels of Dean’s longing fluctuated.

When this particular surge doesn’t go back to its usual level no matter how long Cas stays, (not that Cas is complaining about spending time at the Bunker or near Dean; he likes the Bunker and is in love with Dean, anyway) he decides he’s had enough.

He corners Dean in the kitchen one day and growls, “Dean.”

Dean turns - a picture of nonchalance -  and asks what’s up.

“What’s up?!” Cas cries a little hysterically. “What’s up is your longing!”

“My what?” Dean chokes out, eyes widening in horror.

“I have had it up to here with you and your longing,” Cas tells him. “Kill your curiosity and kiss me already.”

Dean just stands there, gaping at him.

“You’ve known all this time,” he gets out eventually.

It’s not a question but Cas nods in confirmation.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Dean asks, frowning.

Cas deflates a little now, irritation leaving him in a whoosh.

“There was always something in the way: the Apocalypse, the civil war in Heaven, the amnesia, Purgatory, Naomi-”

“Okay, okay,” Dean interjects. “You don’t have to list out all the crap we’ve been through.”

Cas’ lips quirk into a sad smile before turning into a teasing one. “There was also you coming to terms with it and that took long enough, you emotionally constipated… assbutt.”

“Ugh, Cas,” Dean groans. “Assbutt is the worst insult ever.”

“It’s still an insult.”

“Sometimes-” Dean huffs “-you’re so frustrating I don’t even know why I’m in love with you.”

You’re frustrating,” Cas says lamely, as he rolls his eyes at Dean. “I thought I told you to kiss me.”

“You always gonna be this bossy?” Dean teases even as he moves to close the distance between them and finally kisses Castiel.

Five; The Desirable
Five is extremely confident and greedy, she desires all that she sees, but quickly loses interest once she gets it. She purposefully uses risqué language during conversations and loves alluding to her nightly escapades. Her seemingly endless greed goes so far as to lust after her sister, Zero.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I really like your blog. Can I ask to write about how RFA + Saeran forgot about MC's birthday and missed it? If it's possible from their viewpoint.

Oh boy, that got so long, these are basically mini-fics, I’m just too lazy to take it out of the topics lolol. Hope you enjoy it! ^^


   RFA + Saeran forgetting MC’s birthday

Zen

  • His new musical debuted that night, after it was over, he ran to the dressing room looking for you, but… you weren’t there?
  • He asked the staff if you were still in your seat, they said they didn’t even see you that night.
  • “Oh, she must be with Jaehee.” He texted both of you, none of you texted back. Weird…
  • He called you, nothing. He called Jaehee, she answered, but there was some loud music playing. “Jaehee, is MC with you?”
  • “WHAT??? ZEN, WHERE ARE YOU??? ARE YOU OUTSIDE???” she was yelling
  • “Outside where, Jaehee? Outside the theatre?” “WHAT??? ZEN, MC IS WORRIED, AREN’T YOU COMING???” he heard Yoosung yelling  “BOO, WHAT KIND OF BOYFRIEND MISSES HER OWN GIRLFRIEND’S BIRTHDAY PARTY???YOU’RE MISSING IT, PRETTY BOY, THIS PARTAAAAY IS CRAZY” he sounded drunk
  • Then it hit him… SHIT! It was today! Your birthday!!! How could he forget that?
  • He saw you in the morning, you sounded so excited, but you were always so bubbly, he didn’t even notice you were especially excited that day. Oh god… just remembering your beautiful smile made his heart sink in guilty. Why didn’t you say anything?
  • “Wake up, Zen! She’s not like you to be bragging about her own  birthday!” he thought. Yes, you were nothing like him at all, you were so sweet, so selfless… he was a selfish workaholic who abandoned her girlfriend in her first birthday with you! Ugh… he was the worst boyfriend ever!
  • His colleagues invited him to an after party, he declined. He needed to know where your party was happening… Calling you would be the most embarrassing and hurtful thing he could ever do!
  • Calling Jaehee seemed hopeless. Yoosung? Yeah, obviously not!  Seven would tease him for not knowing where the party was. There was only one person discreet enough he could call… but it was Jumin fucking Han! God… asking that jerk a favor made him feel sick, but it was for MC… he would do anything for his precious girlfriend.
  •  Jumin answered quickly, the music wasn’t too loud, he was probably a little away from the crowd, that antisocial freak! No…  he needed to ask him a favor, it wasn’t the time to cuss him out. “Where are you? MC is concerned” he said in a monotone tone.
  •  “I need to ask you something, but you have to promise me you won’t say anything! If you say something, I swear I’ll…” “You’re about to ask me a favor, yet you’re threatening me? How bold…” “LISTEN, YOU JERK! I get it, I’m an asshole, ok? I screwed up her birthday! You have no idea how much I regret it… I…” no, he could not do that talking with Jumin, pull yourself together! “I need to know the address of the party…”
  •  “Are you serious? You really don’t know?” “Don’t make me feel worse, dude! I can do that by myself!” “I’m not doing it on purpose, I’m just reminding you of your irresponsibility… did you even get her a present?” “DUUUUUUDE! I TOLD YOU I COULD MAKE MYSELF FEEL WORSE! OH GOD!”
  •  “Zen, pull yourself together, please. This is quite embarrassing for me too… think objectively, what can you do right now? There must be something…” Zen thought for a few seconds… there was something he could do!
  • “Hey, jerk! I thought of something! Tell me the address and I’ll take care of everything else! I just need a prop I saw backstage and…” “What do I get in return?” “DUDE, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?”
  •  “I’m a business man, I need to know what will be my gain on this.” He could almost see the smirk on that son of a bitch’s face. “Fine! There’s something I can do along with my… surprise for MC. Give me the address and see for yourself.” “But…” “Just trust me on this one, ok? Now here’s what you need to do…”
  • You were dancing with Seven, he was making silly moves to make you laugh and distract you from your concern about your boyfriend.
  • Were you mad? Nah, why would you? It was his career after all… I mean, should you be mad about your boyfriend forgetting your birthday? The first one with you as a couple? Even if he couldn’t ditch work, he saw you in the morning, he should had said something! A day has fucking 24 hours, Zen! Calling you wouldn’t take more than a few minutes, for fuck’s sake. Yep, you were mad.
  • Seven stepped away from you a little, you looked like you were gonna punch someone. Then, he stared at the little stage on the nightclub, you followed his gaze and… what was Jumin doing up there?
  • “Is this thing on? Is it? Okay…” he said in the microphone, then he cleared his throat and took a piece of paper from his pocket “Yes, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We gathered here today to celebrate our dear friend, MC’s birthday tonight.” A blue light showed up to your face as people applauded you, what was Jumin doing? This was so embarrassing…
  • “I sincerely hope it was a day of joy for you, MC, that you received all the love and affection from your friends and family. And… I hope you’re prepared right now… for the ultimate demonstration of love from your boyfriend.” You could hear people making “uuuhh…” sounds. “He made me say this tacky speech and, to quote him, ‘I apologize for being late, I’m selfish and I care too much about my image, that’s why I didn’t even consider not doing that musical today. However… to show you how much I love you and how sorry I am, I’m letting go of my image today, I’m even letting go of my pride and letting a jerk read my apologize for you.’ Oh… I’m, I’m the jerk right now. Interesting… anyway, enjoy your boyfriend’s gift, MC!” he got off the stage still muttering “How ungrateful…”
  •  The nightclub staff carried a huge cake to the stage. Oh god… you knew where this was going, oh no… Yep. Your boyfriend came out of the cake wearing only underwear with a decorative bow on it and… freaking cat ears on his head.
  • Seven was laughing hard, Jaehee was feeling bold after a couple of drinks and took a lot of pictures, Yoosung was passed out on the corner and didn’t see anything, Jumin kept his head low trying not to let everybody see him chuckling, and you… were still a little mad, but it was impossible not to feel happy to see him (and maybe a little turned on)
  • So you just went up on that stage and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, he whispered “happy birthday” and you smiled softly, it was impossible not to smile right now.

Yoosung

  •  “Yoosung, I let your green shirt on the hanger, oh, and be careful when you go to the bathroom, I think there’s something wrong with the lock… The roast beef is on the oven, don’t touch it! I’ll just go to the convenience store and see if they have that sauce we liked the other day, ok?”
  • “Mmmmhmm” he mumbled, staring at his laptop’s screen. You couldn’t bother wondering if he was really listening, you were in such a hurry to get everything done.
  • He didn’t know why you were running everywhere, it was just dinner! What was so special about this one?
  •  He was just worried about this quest, there were so many rare items available right then.
  • He was done a few minutes later, he stretched his arms and let out a yawn. “MC?” you didn’t answer. “MC? Are you in the bathroom? I’m coming in…” he entered and the door closed behind him.
  • He yelped, scared. He tried to open the door a few times and got more and more tense as he realized he was really trapped inside the bathroom. His phone was on his bedroom. Shit…
  • He heard the living room’s door being open.  “MC? MC, is that you?”
  • “Yoosung? Where are you?” “I’m trapped in the bathroom, I think there’s something wrong with the lock” “Yes, I know” “You knew? Why didn’t you tell me?”
  • “ I told you, Yoosung! You didn’t hear anything I said before I left?” “Where were you, anyways?” You sighed deeply. “Nevermind, Yoosung, let me call a locksmith and try to get you out of here before the night is completely ruined!”
  • Wow, you really sounded frustrated, this dinner was that important to you? Why?
  • “Oh, don’t worry, MC!  I can always cook some fried rice really quick like I normally do.” “Well, isn’t that the point? Doing something different because tonight is special?”
  • “Oh, sure…” Why is tonight special? Think, Yoosung, think! “Yes, tonight is a very special day…for… us?”
  • You glared at the door as you could actually see him. “Yoosung? What day is today?” “Today? T-Today? Hum… Friday?”
  • “I knew it! I knew you weren’t listening to me earlier, I knew you didn’t know what day is today! Gosh, I’m so stupid! My friends tried to drag me to this bar, but no, I insisted on spending my birthday with my boyfriend!” OH FUCK!
  • M-MC! It’s today! Yeah!” “Yes, you could at least notice the presents that came, but you were too busy with that fucking game all day, right?” You were freaking terrifying when you swore, he was shivering
  • “MC, I don’t even know how to proper apologize right now, I’m so sorry! I… bought your present months ago and I guess I just… forgot?”
  • “Yes, Yoosung, you forget everything around you when you play that game! Seriously… I… I can’t believe the only way to make you listen to me is with  you locked up like this… this is so… fucked up!” Another swear, another shiver! But what you said gave him an idea. “So… keep me like this…” “What?”
  •  “Seriously, keep me like this! We can call the locksmith tomorrow morning. I don’t have my phone or computer with me, so all I can focus is your voice now. Tell me everything and I’ll listen.” “What are you saying? This is weird!”
  • “So let’s do it as a game! How about that: for every year of your life, you tell me something I should know about you? Silly things or meaningful things, you tell me everything and I’ll listen!” You were still hesitating, but… your boyfriend listening to you all night long? That was… sort of fun… you took a deep breath and sat in front of the bathroom door. You could not see each other, but that was better, so you wouldn’t feel embarrassed telling him… very intimate things. “Okay… fact number one about me…”
  • It was morning when you finished, you both were laughing because you told him funny things about you in high school. “Hey, MC?” “Yes, Yoosung?”  “I know I’m late, but… happy birthday!” “Thank you, Yoosung… now let’s get you out of there” your voice got back to the sweet tone he loved so much, he knew he had to do a lot to make it up to you, but now… he was just relieved you didn’t sound mad, and he learned so much about you, this would be really useful later…
  • As soon as he was released, he rushed over you and planted a firm and passionate kiss in your lips, you’ve never seen him like this! “Thanks for your services, sir. Now if you’ll excuse us, I have to make my girlfriend’s dream number 18 come true!” he paid the guy, took your hand and leaded you to the bedroom.

Jaehee

  • She would never! I mean, NEVER EVER forget your birthday! As soon as you started dating, she marked the date on her calendar, she was prepared for this day months ago!
  • You probably knew she was planning everything, so it hit her. You KNEW, it would be no surprise for you at all! She never saw your surprised face before, she would love to see your eyes widening, your mouth opening in a gasp and then turning into a smile for her… oh… it must be so adorable!
  • You always complimented her diligence, her ability to plan something at every detail, but now… she just wanted not to be like that, at least for one day, your day… she had to surprise you somehow!
  • So she thought… what if she pretended to forget your birthday? And when the day was almost ending, she would surprise you with something very romantic and special? It would be so bold and unexpected of her, she couldn’t wait to show you this side of her!
  • It was harder than she thought. When the day came, she kept holding back all the hugs she wanted to give you, the urge to say “Happy Birthday! I love you!”. God… you were looking at her as if you were expecting something! Those puppy eyes, ugh… somebody save her!
  • But she kept going through, it would all be worthy for both of you at the end of the day.   “Jaehee, is there something you wanna say to me?” “Hum… you’re doing a good work today, MC!” “Jaehee, you have nothing to give me today?” “Oh yeah, I have you to give this receipt from the milk distributor, you forgot to sign here.” This was fucking torture!
  • You two closed the cafe in complete silence, she noticed you weren’t as excited as you were that morning. Your smile disappeared from your face as soon as the last customer left.     
  • “So,MC, ready to head home?” “Oh, I… already have plans for tonight.” WHAT? “Oh… you do?” “Yeah, I’m gonna get some drinks with some friends.” “N-No! You can’t!” she said in a high and surprised tone. “Why not?”
  • “W-Well, because you… didn’t you say you were trying to quit drinking?” “I think you’re mistaking me with Zen, Jaehee…” SHIT!
  • “I’ll be back soon, you don’t have to wait me awake if you don’t want to.” Oh… your passive-aggressive tone, it gave her the creeps everytime you acted like that.
  • “Well, can I… can I go with you?” “Oh, it’s just a silly thing with some girls from college, I don’t think you would enjoy that much…  but you’re more than welcome to come.” Yeah, you definitely didn’t want her to join you, you were PISSED
  • “So… I’ll go home just to take a shower and change, ok?” Oh no, the surprise! Time to move, Jaehee! “MC, YOU CAN’T GO!” you looked at her, surprised. Noticing you got a little scared, she lowered her voice “P-Please… don’t go…”
  • “Why not?” Think of something! Quick! “W-well, b-be-e-cause… I… I…  I don’t like your friends, MC!” “What?” “Yes, you… act different after you see them, you get… immature and… annoying!” you could not believe this! Neither could she, what was she doing? When did everything get so out of control?
  • “Annoying?” you scoffed “Wow, okay… thanks for the note, Jaehee! I’ll… well, sorry to disappoint you, but I’ll go get annoying and immature with my friends  tonight, at least they don’t forget my fucking birthday!” and you stormed out of the cafe. She was just… speechless, she could not think of a reaction right now.
  • She thanked God for the fact that the house you shared was not far from the cafe, she could reach you without a problem.
  •  And she got home just in time to see the face she was craving so much to see, but… the tears weren’t a part of her fantasy. “MC? I… I’m so sorry. I… tried to make you a surprise, I thought it would be even surprising  if I pretended I forgot your birthday, but now I see it was so childish of me. I’m really sorry, MC! I don’t hate your friends, I just said that to keep you away from the house, I think they’re great just like you, they’re funny and creative and… bold, like you! And… definitely not like me… I’m-”
  • You interrupted her with a intense yet sweet kiss, she was took by surprise, but quickly catched up with you. “Don’t talk about yourself like this, especially on my birthday…” “Yes, of course, MC, I’ll just say sweet things from now on…”
  • “You should start with a ‘Happy Birthday!’” you both laughed through your tears, you two looked so dork, it was so cute…

Jumin

  • He didn’t really forgot, he just… miscalculated how long that business trip would last.
  • At least that’s what he told Zen over the phone when he called very angry and judgemental about missing his “so called precious girlfriend”. Jumin didn’t want to hear anything of this, mainly because he knew Zen was… ugh… right…
  • He wanted to call you, but was he really ready to listen your sad voice? Would he be able to handle it? His emotions were still a mysterious field, even if you were helping him through. But the things you said and did affected him on a very unpredictable way, so… calling you seemed reckless right now.
  • He would miss it, it was already set. He wouldn’t make in time. All that was left was trying to get you the most thoughtful and amazing gift and take some days off from work to make it up to you. Would it be enough?
  • But then… he saw the photos in the chatroom. MC and the other RFA members at a bar, it would be a cute friend’s photo if Zen WEREN’T THAT CLOSE TO YOU, WITH HIS ARM AROUND YOUR SHOULDER!!!
  • Jumin let out a low groan… this wasn’t right! It was supposed to be his arm around your shoulder… and probably not in that commoner’s bar. You deserved so much better on your birthday! You deserved… a better boyfriend…
  • He caught himself on his private jet, telling the pilot to get there asap. It was a good weather, this wouldn’t take long.
  • And it really didn’t, but now there was another problem… Driver Kim was not picking up his calls! What was he doing? Oh right… Jumin gave him some days off since he was on this business trip, only because MC insisted he needed some rest… he would feel aroused about all this irony if this wasn’t gettin in the way of something so important.
  • He took a cab, this driver didn’t feel reliable, but he was desperate. And the guy guaranteed he could get him to his destination in the shortest amount of time.
  • He just saw the light and heard a loud bang on the side of the cab… then everything got dark.
  • Zen gave you a ride to the hospital on his bike. He was mad, but tried to stay collected to not make you feel more nervous. Jaehee, Seven and Yoosung were already there. Zen and Jaehee wanted to go with you, you insisted on going alone and Seven convinced everybody this was the best right then.   
  • “Don’t talk! Don’t even try using your smothering words to make me forget what you did, Jumin Han! What were you thinking? Are you insane?” Silence… “ANSWER ME!”
  • “You… said you didn’t want me to talk…” he said with his usual calm tone, but in the inside he was terrified, you seemed… not like yourself at all. “Jumin, I swear to God I’ll slap this handsome face of yours and give this hospital a reason to keep you here for a while, don’t test me right now!” you were so scary! And sexy… no, FOCUS, JUMIN!
  •  “I didn’t want to miss your birthday, it didn’t seem right…” “So what? How getting on an unlicensed cab fit into this? Oh my god… do you have any idea how panicked I got when the hospital called me?” you were trying to compose yourself “Why did you get back? I was ok with your business trip getting longer than planned…” “I… saw the photo in the chatroom, you and… Zen…” oh, he should not have mentioned that, you were losing it again.
  • “Zen? You were worried about Zen? Oh my god, Jumin! What the fuck is wrong with you? What were you thinking? Seriously, I want to know how your brain works! Did you really think I was cheating on you?”
  • “I WASN’T THINKING, MC! I was… I don’t know what’s gotten into me, I saw the photo and I just knew I had to be there with you. That’s what happens, I don’t… think when it’s about you, I just… feel.”
  • “Jumin, I made myself very clear about using sweet talk right now…” “But it’s the truth, I swear! MC, I love you, I want to be with you at every special moment of your life.” “And do you think this is a special moment? You in a hospital bed making me feel so terrified of losing you? On my fucking birthday, Jumin?” your voice was breaking, and then came the tears.
  •  “I’m sorry for making you worry, MC. I was childish and imprudent, and I should do better when it concerns you, us… I’m… really sorry… and this feels completely inappropriate, but… happy birthday…” you sighed heavily and gave up, being angry wouldn’t take you anywhere. Your boyfriend was alive, just a few scratches here and there, and you were together! You curled up to him on the bed, then you just… talked.
  • “Did you really came here on Zen’s bike? Did you wear a helmet? Did you… put your arms around him?” “Jumin, Zen is the least of your problems right now, just wait till we get home.” again… so terrifyingly sexy… it felt strange hearing these things instead of saying it for once.

Saeyoung

  • You two were not on speaking terms right now, it was a pretty bad fight, although now he didn’t really remember how and why it started. It was something about one of his pranks? About him going too far? Yes, it was something like this…
  • Anyways, he didn’t feel like apologizing, you were probably overreacting, soon you would come to your senses and talk to him again.
  • But this was taking too long, he haven’t heard from you for almost a week, were you that mad? The RFA members were refusing to talk about this, this was between you two, he should solve this if it was bothering him so much.
  • He got out of his office for the first time in three days and heard someone in the living room. It was you? Were you finally back? Hum, no… it was Saeran. And he was… wrapping this box on a shiny red wrapper?
  • “Hey bro, whachu doing?” “What do you think I’m doing? Wrapping this gift, you fool! MC’s favorite color is red, right?” “Yes, it is… is this for MC?” “No, is for the pope… of course it is for her!”
  • “Why?” “Quit shitting around and go get ready, we’re gonna be late!” “Late for what, Saeran? What’s going on?” “MC’s party! Seriously, did you bang your head or something?” “Party, why is she having a party?” he felt a little hurt you were throwing parties while you two were fighting like that.
  • “Wait… did you really forget?”  “What? What did I forget?” “Holy fuck! You really forgot your girlfriend’s birthday!” “What? No, I didn’t! Her birthday is in a few months, bro!” “Hum, no ‘bro’, it’s today!”. Saeyoung scoffed: “No, it isn’t! Come on… I checked every information about her when we met, there’s no way I would forget the day she was born!” “Well, check again, you probably messed up the informations in your stupid brain.” He was starting to get mad at Saeran for doubting him, he was the one messing it up! So he went to check your background history  and yes, your birthday was… your birthday was… shit! TODAY!
  • “Oh Lord! Oh Lord! Oh Lord!” he started panicking and running in the house. How could he forget? He was so adamant about you apologizing he didn’t even notice that day was coming? What a selfish asshole he was! “Oh my God, Saeran! I’m so screwed!” “Yep…”
  • “Don’t ‘yep’ me! Help me! I need to do something!” “Exactly, YOU need to, don’t get me involved in this, you were the one who screwed up, just apologize to her already!” “This isn’t enough! I, Saeyoung Choi, need to come up with something as special and amazing as my lady. And you were gonna help me! This is a mission for the Choi boys!” “I asked you a million times not to call us that…”
  • He came with a plan and headed with his brother to your place. When he got there, he noticed it wasn’t a big party, it was more like an intimate reunion with RFA and your closest friends. Hum… he was expecting something big as his surprise, but this would do, anyways.
  • Saeran cleared his throat and gathered everybody’s attention. “MC, my brother is an asshole and he wants to ‘apologize’. Enjoy this freak show and happy birthday!” he said in a monotone tone as turning the music on.
  • And then Saeyoung came out of your bedroom lip syncing “Birthday” by Katy Perry in a full cosplay of her. Nobody was in shock because, well… they already knew your boyfriend, you got embarrassed when you looked at your parents watching that. When he finished, people weren’t sure if they should clap or not.
  • “I’m so sorry, MC! I’m such a prick for not talking to you and there’s nothing I could say right now to make it up to you, so I did this. If I can’t be mature enough, at least I can make you laugh, and… I believe it was the great american artist Katy Perry who said ‘So make a wish! I’ll make it like your birthday every day!’. Happy birthday, MC! I love you!”
  • “Oh, Saeyoung…” you were crying and leaned to him, he was waiting for a kiss, but you went to his ear and whispered: “Got you!” He looked at you puzzled as Zen and Yoosung unrolled a banner where it could read “You got pranked, brah!”
  • “MC, what’s happening?” “I was mad at you because of that bad prank you pulled on me last week, so I decided to take some revenge. I told everybody to come here today to pretend it was my birthday, so it would look like you forgot it.” “But your background history…  the date…” “Saeran took care of this for me. You’re not the only hacker in the family, right?” he looked at Saeran, he just raised his glass with a smirk. “Oh, and putting Katy Perry as one of my interests was his idea too. I had no idea you were going to show up like this… guess he knows you a little better than I do”
  • “Oh… my… God! I… I… ” he looked shocked, almost hurt, now you were wondering if you went too far… but the truth was… he was so happy you and his brother were getting along, even teaming up to make something for him, even if it was to make him look like a fool, he didn’t mind, he was just… really happy “I LOVE YOU TWO SO MUCH!” and he pulled you and Saeran in a tight hug.

Saeran

  • “Shit! Shit! Shit!” he was cursing and pacing back and forth ever since he saw the calendar, it was today! How could he forget?
  • Truth be told, he had one of his episodes last night, when that happened, he would lost his sense of time and place. This would be even worse when you weren’t around to calm him down, and why weren’t you around? Oh yeah, you were planning your birthday party, yeah, that one he refused to help with because ‘it was lame’ as he told you over the phone. Oh god…He was the worst, wasn’t he?
  • He got out of his bedroom and went looking for Saeyoung, but all he found was a note. “Helping MC, party starts at 9 pm at her place, don’t be late! P.S.: Call her, bro. Love, Saeyoung” he rolled his eyes, but this was kind of useful. Except for that piece of advice about calling you. How could he? He didn’t talk to you all day and you would notice right away the reason the disappeared, and you would be worried, his brother would hear about this and they both would feel guilty for leaving him alone and… he hated to see your concerned expression, it was too much painful.
  • At least he bought a nice gift, it was a simple bracelet, but he knew you should have it when he saw you looking at it that day you two went to shopping. Now he just needed to take a quick shower and find some decent clothes. He still had time, right? WRONG!
  • It was already 10 pm! How could he lost notion of time  that much? He felt like shit! Your place was pretty far from Saeyoung’s bunker, it would take at least a half hour to get there by train. What about by car?
  • He went to the garage and took one of his brother’s car, Saeyoung woudn’t like this, but he didn’t give a shit right now. It was all about you!
  • He was a little rusty from driving, but still knew the basics, like… stopping and… most important, accelerating! And boy, did he speed it up
  • He muttered a “fuck! What now?” when he saw the police car reflected on the rearview mirror. Yeah, he knew he had to stop, this guy wouldn’t get off his back.  
  • “Documents, sir?” “Shit! I don’t… I don’t have it right now!” “Sir, are you aware that you were much faster than the speed limit?” “Yeah, look… I’m just trying to make it to my girlfriend’s party, I’m pretty late and…” “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to get out of the car…” “What? Fuck! No!” “Sir, please… I don’t want to use force!” “Well, I don’t want to use force either, so just get the fuck away!” “Sir, calm down a little and…” “No! Don’t tell me what to do, your asshole! I know my rights!” “So you know you have the right to remain silent, you are arrested for contempt of authority, just come with me calmly or I’ll charge you for resisting to prison too.” FUCK! He didn’t even mind about this, all he could think of was you… and how disappointed you would be right now
  • You and Saeyoung came to the police station, neither of you said anything, you two were too scared. Saeran could not have a criminal record, nobody should know about this, what if his father found out? That’s what you two were thinking, but were too scared to say it out loud. “Me and Jumin are taking care of this, don’t worry, nobody will know a thing. At least I managed to not let him get locked up, so he’s in the interrogation room. Go talk to him but make it quick, okay?” you nodded, you didn’t know what to say
  • He took a quick glance at you and lowered his head, he could not look you in the eye right now. “I… I know you’re mad, ok? I’m sorry! I was just… trying to get to your place, I didn’t know I was so late, you know what happen when I have… those panic attacks, and… I should’ve called you, my stupid brother was fucking right, I can’t believe it! I feel so shitty right now, MC! I can’t believe I’m putting you to this on your own birthday, I’m such a piece of shit! I… I… don’t deserve you at all. I’m…”
  • You interrupted him with a hug. He was handcuffed, but oh did he want to hug you back… even if he knew he didn’t deserve it… “I was so worried about you…” were you… crying? Oh no… “You can’t do this to me, Saeran! That cop had a gun! What if he… oh, I don’t even want to say it!” Wait! Weren’t you mad? You were… worried…? For him?
  • “A – Aren’t you… mad?” “Of course I’m mad! But I’m more relieved to see you’re ok, I love you so much! You know that?”
  • “Yes, of course I know, MC. And I hate to see you like this because of me, you should be smiling today, no, not just today, everyday!” “So don’t get into trouble because of me, you dork!” oh, you called him dork, you were calming down… “I won’t, I swear! Me being safe will be your birthday gift! This and… this.” He pointed to the little box in his pocket. “They took everything from me, but I woudn’t let they take this… Happy Birthday, MC! I mean… as happy as can be…”
  • You laughed and took the box out of his pocket, you opened, looked at him and kissed him in a sloppy and desperate way. “Okay, break it off you two! This isn’t a motel room!” The cop interrupted getting in the room. “You must know some important people, fella. You’re getting away with a clean file.” “So I’m free to go?” “Yep, let me just get you out of these handcuffs and you can escort your lady.”
  • “Oh, he better do much more than escort me when we’re out of here. Oh, and don’t feel too comfortable about getting rid of these handcuffs, you’ll be back to them as soon as we get home, maybe I have a pair that matches my new bracelet?” the look in your eyes… he could tell you weren’t kidding. This was a huge turn on, but he wasn’t really used to you playing this role, so he wasn’t sure what to expect… “Can you keep me arrested here for tonight, officer? I feel I’ll be safer around here.

(aphobia cw, violence cw, suicidal ideation/suicide baiting cw, abuse cw)

About the ‘don’t tell anyone you’re ace, it’s tmi’. I’m aroace. I went through almost every single queer identity before finding it  because, like most aroaces, ‘i’m equally attracted to all genders’ coupled with ‘i don’t know asexuality is a thing’ led me to believe i might be bi, pan, poly. bi ace, aro bi, lesbian? ace lesbian? just ace? etc etc etc. in fact, for a while i was biflux, but i have identified as aroace for the last 3 years. Anyway, i think these people know that cis straight people absolutely single you out if you don’t show attraction the opposite binary gender- say, if you’re a girl, and you never speak about finding guys attractive, men you’re crushing on, men you’re dating, men you’re interested in dating, male celebrity crushes, your sex life with men, your imagined sex life with men, your past with men, your exes etc etc etc then you will be singled out as queer. these are literal everyday questions that people face every single day. in every day conversations people will say 'wow look at that guy, what do you think?’ 'do you have a boyfriend?’ 'ugh my ex just texted me, exes are the worst. what’s up with your love life?’ eeeetc. ace people don’t show attraction to the opposite binary gender, and like lesbian and gay people, it’s fucking hard to lie about it. this is forgoing even romantic identities. after not showing adequate attraction to the opposite binary gender, straight people will see us as gay/lesbian (because ace/aro aren’t labels more people are familiar with, and most people who don’t show attraction the opposite binary gender ARE gay/lesbian) and wait for us to show attraction the SAME binary gender. when that doesn’t come, they’re like…well, they’re either a closeted lesbian, or just some weird type of queer that i don’t understand/don’t have a name for. i mean, clearly they’re not attracted to men?

For me, id'ing as every queer id but aro/ace, has led me to become accepted by peers, THANKFULLY. when i stopped mentioning i was attracted to people of any gender, realized i wasn’t, that i had been pretending for the vast majority of my life, people, OF COURSE, asked what the deal was. had i 'gone full lesbian’ (i know, straight people are a trip, as if you can choose your orientation/s, and what does 'full’ even mean, smh), that i could tell them, etc etc. when i confided in them i wasn’t interested in anyone- boys, girls, enbys- the violence i faced was indescribable. these people, these people who had been supportive of me, suddenly had it in their heads that i was…horrible, because i couldn’t feel something so human. and they were violent. because of my orientation. i’m not going to go into details of my abuse. people who are trying to make sure i’m excluded from safe communities that could have saved my life at the time don’t get to hear about that, especially since they were the reason i didn’t seek help from them. i was left alone, and i’m lucky i’m here

listen, aro/ace people face discrimination from cis straight people (i’m mentioning cis straight because straight trans people do not benefit from straight privilege but ofc cis aroaces are not discriminated against under cisnormativity, but heteronormativity) for both not showing attraction the opposite binary gender, and for feeling attraction to no gender. the only way to go about the threat of facing violence, stigma, discrimination etc, is literally by LYING. CONSTANTLY LYING. Lying that, again, if you’re a girl, you DO find men attractive, consistently agreeing with your straight girl friends when they mention it, inventing stories, inventing dates, inventing boyfriends, inventing sex stories, flirting, being on alert all the time lest you say something that 'gives you away’, always feeling like a fucking outsider but having to lie through your teeth to avoid violence.

people saying 'don’t come out as ace but to partners’ are perpetuating fucking violence. you want us to keep lying, pretending to be straight in order to not discriminated against, verbally/physically abused, etc? fuck off with that?

also, not all aces have partners. romantic partners are not the be all and end of all of people’s lives. aros generally don’t have romantic partners. you can’t tell someone 'lie about who you are so you’re not abused, only tell your romantic/sexual partner because they’re the only ones that are allowed to know you in your entirety’. Society doesn’t 'assume you’re straight until you get a partner of the same gender’, it assumes you’re straight until you don’t show exclusive attraction to people of the opposite gender, until you don’t show yourself to be straight (yes this can include getting a partner of the opposite gender). There’s no way an aro/ace, regardless of romantic id, can go about this world without being targeted as queer/not straight by straight people, unless they are making an active, every day effort to lie about their feelings. This is the same with literally every other queer/non straight orientation, which is why bi people don’t have straight privilege even in an 'opposite’ gender elationship.

also, to the people complaining that it’s a 'legitimate concern’ and it’s 'trash to say otherwise’ or w/e fucking else, which sparked me being so livid ('aces saying we don’t have a right to say this are 'insert insult’- not only are they, i’m willing to bet, not ace, and therefore don’t have a fucking say, but even if they WERE, they wouldn’t have a fucking say more than a lesbian could tell another lesbian 'hey don’t come out to anyone but your gf it’s tmi and this is a legit concern lol. instead lie about being straight so you’re safe from bigots, even if it kills you inside’. It’s wrong and bigoted. and staying silent can’t protect aros/aces more no more than staying silent can protect gay/lesbian/bi/pan/poly/omni/fluid etc people.

thanks for listening, i hope this was educational to the bigoted people, and if they’re reading this- i’m a survivor and this is very raw, i’ve been gaslighted to hell and back by 'exclusionists’ on this website who found my posts talking about my ace experiences, who sent me death threats, who literally suicide baited me for talking about my experiences- i hope this reaches you so you see how wrong you are the damage you’re doing, but if it does and you’re compelled to ANSWER or even COMMENT on it, don’t. don’t fucking touch it. have a modicum of respect, because that could send me spiralling in a very ugly way- and i’m saying this publicly because i’m sure if i didn’t say it’s very, very precarious for my mental heatlh, i’d get ugly comments on it, but hopefully being publicly asked NOT TO send me down a path i almost didn’t come back from deters potential abusers

When a friend of mine complains about being single and goes on to tell me how she really needs to have a man in her life:


nessian bedsharing part 1/2

“If you don’t stop smirking at me, if you snore, or if I feel so much as an Illyrian *toe* end up on my side of the bed, I will push you right out,” Nesta warns him.

ao3

Nesta takes one look at the room and pivots to glare at Cassian.

“I had nothing to do with this,” he says quickly, hands up in self-defense. “I asked for two, and when they said they only had one room left, I assumed they meant only one room with two.”

The single, solitary bed in this crappy inn room sits there innocuously. Mocking her.

“I’ll find somewhere else to stay, then,” she bites out.

“There’s no other inns around for miles, Nes,” Cassian says placatingly. “Believe me, we wouldn’t be staying in this craphole if there were.”

Nesta clenches her jaw in his direction. “Then I’ll find some strapping wealthy man to seduce and stay in his bed for the night.” This is a ridiculous threat, at almost midnight when it’s freezing cold out and they’re stuck in an outpost in the middle of nowhere consisting of an inn, a brothel, and a bar, but Nesta’s exhausted and she’s mad that now the possibility of literally sleeping with Cassian is something she has to deal with.

Cassian cocks his head at her, lips tugging upwards playfully. “It just so happens that I’m a strapping, wealthy man very open to seduction. And I’m paying for this room, so technically it is my bed.“

Nesta feels every murderous instinct in her sharpen to a wicked point.

“Oh, well,” she says, dripping with sarcastic sultriness. She drops her bag, begins to unbutton the top layer of her leathers, slinking towards him. “When you put it like that…”

Cassian’s joking demeanor evaporates instantly; the mood of the room shifts on a dime. She stops a hair away from him, close enough that she can feel his breath on her lips. He must know she’s playing with him, but the big idiot is affected anyway like he always is, lips parted, eyes locked on her like he’s either going to devour her whole or fall to his knees.

Even now, when she’s pissed off and tired, there’s something that makes her feel alive in this game of theirs, their unique ability to get under each other’s skin. Nesta lets her eyes drag over his lips, flicker once demurely to his eyes before she pushes herself up on her tiptoes. Her lips brush his jaw calculatedly before whispering, “You’re sleeping on the floor.”

She draws back with the smuggest glare she can muster to hammer home the point before sweeping away from him, grabbing her bag, and heading for the bathroom down the hall. It’s hard to tell through what he’s wearing, but she’s pretty sure she leaves the commander of the Illyrian armies with a hard-on.

Keep reading

Horrible thought time: what if circumstancesTM occur and somehow the only solution, the only solution is that Shiro has to go into the ring and fight in another gladiator match.

Maybe someone gets kidnapped, they need to prove their worth to a warrior race, they need cash, whatever, but somehow the only solution is a gladiator fight. And of course the entire team is completely against it. Keith swears up and down he can do it, even Allura is offering to fight so that Shiro doesn’t have to, but eventually they have to conclude that Shiro is their best fighter. He’s got the experience, he can win this. And they need to win this.

And so Shiro becomes the Champion once more, walking into the ring with his head held high. He wants to scream, he wants to cry, he wants to throw up. But he can’t. Because his team needs him. They need him to be strong, they need him to win, they need him to do this

He wins, of course. And he even manages to hold it together until they can safely get back to the castleship. But after that…after that…oh Shiro…