ugh this lame

I really hate the generic ¾-facing-left, eyes-to-the-right profiles but it’s so convenient, I can’t help myself.

2

Throwback to before Jimin sold his jams

to jungkook 

Going On A Date With Draco Includes...

(A.N. Hey, guys. I know a lot of you guys wanted part 2 on Arranged Marriage and Caught. I haven’t been feeling good ugh, it’s such a lame excuse but that’s why I didn’t post yesterday. I didn’t want to leave y’all without anything this weekend so I just wrote a quick headcannon. Enjoy `-`)

Originally posted by jasmineisabel

  • Draco will take for Butterbeer first
  •  Hint Word: First
  • Draco being Draco he, of course, spoils the fuck out of you
  • While y’all are drinking Butterbeer at different ends of the booth
  • Draco will slowly scoot closer to you
  • He will hold your hand and tell you how lucky he is to have you
  • When he gets out of the booth to get more butterbeer you notice a promise ring on your finger
  • Draco Malfoy is a FUCKING MAGICIAN
  • Sliding back into the booth he gives you a cheeky smile which of course turns into a smirk
  • Draco just fuck me already
  • You ask him about the ring and he gives you a whole big speech about how:
  • How your a princess
  • And you’re the best so you deserve the best
  • Since you’re his baby girl you get anything and everything
  • And how your his and the ring shows the world it
  • How can you argue with that you are
  • A FUCKING PRINCESS
  • Draco’s girlfriend and you know if you fight him now it will reflect later in the bedroom ;))))
  • Grabbing your hand and leading you out of Three BroomSticks
  • He hears whistling
  • Snapping his towards the noise he sees two Ravenclaws sitting on a bench checking out his Princess girlfriend
  • Pissed Ferret: Activated
  • Narrowing his eyes and stalking towards the duo and pulls his fist back
  • You grab his arm and show him the small ring on your finger
  • Draco sighs and tells the scared looking Ravenclaws that he will tell his father about the situation
  • He grabs your hand once more and walks away with you
  •  You can’t help but smirk
  • You have the Slytherin Prince around your fingers
  • Feeling your arm being pulled to the right Draco pulls you into a dark alley
  • Opening your mouth to speak up when Draco roughly pushes you up against the wall
  • “Is there a problem love?”
  • Smirking you shake your head no
  • The Beast Has Been Released
  • Marking your neck with love bites for a few minutes he releases you from the wall and pulls you toward the castle
  • “Walk faster, Love. When we get to the common room I going to destroy you.”
  • After that date, you couldn’t walk for a week
6

Where in Dipper realizes that going dark-side isn’t exactly what he’d thought it’d be like.

Me @Future goal : Screw this bachelor degree , I want to be a mermaid 😻
Also me : Idk how to swim :(
ME as well : where do I get my money from , after I become a mermaid ? # real life questions 😮

Another ‘humans are weird‘ post.

I’ve seen a lot of those posts about humans freaking out aliens with our survival capabilities and strange rituals, but what about the mental horrors humans willingly subject ourselves to?

Not just thrilling things like facing a thunderstorm or getting in a screaming metal death trap, I’m talking a good old fashioned horror film.

Humans have a strange obsession with scaring ourselves. We have an entire genre dedicated to giving people nightmares, scenarios to simulate the perfect fight or flight response. We love to scare the shit out of ourselves and each other.

In many areas we’re bored with horror if it’s gone stale. “Ugh, just a jumpscare fest, lame.“

Imagine an alien species seeing these titles and being horrified to learn we just created them to entertain. We’re so bored with reality we make our fantasies even scarier.

The Truth Is For Wimps

Pairing: John Murphy X Reader
Requested: Yes (on wattpad)
Warnings: cursing, and sexual themes
A/N: Two in one day!! I have a lot of requests right now which is AMAZING but that means if you’ve requested something recently it might take awhile for me to write it. My inbox is still open though so don’t be shy!
Word Count: 1247

———————————————–

“No! I’m not making out with Octavia!” Harper’s voice rang through the drop ship.

“Why not?” Jasper whined, “You chose dare now you have to follow through with it,” he pointed an accusing finger at her.

“It’s either that or you forfeit and have to chug an entire bottle of moonshine,” you told her.

“Y/N that’s not helping,” Harper’s reply was followed by a glare in your direction, you gave her a ‘what can ya do’ shrug. It was late at night, and everyone had gotten bored of the usual sitting around the campfire so you all decided to spice things up with a game of truth or dare. Mixing in a fresh batch of Monty’s moonshine and things were bound to get interesting.

“C’mon it’s just a kiss,” Octavia said before leaning over and pressing her lips to Harper’s. All of the boys had their eyes locked on the scene in front of them, while the girls (and Bellamy) just shook their heads disapprovingly. Your entire friend group was sat in a circle inside the drop ship: Monty, Jasper, Miller, Bellamy, Monroe, Harper, Octavia, Clarke, and someone had even convinced Murphy to join in. Everyone was having a blast, laughing, getting drunk, and coming up with weird questions or stupid a dares for the others to do.

“Okay, Y/N, truth or dare,” Harper asked as soon as Octavia pulled away trying to divert attention away from her blushing face.

“Truth,” you tell her before taking a drink.

“Ugh, lame!” Everyone choruses at your answer.

“Hey! I don’t want a repeat of last time we played. I had to lick Jasper’s goggles. He never cleans those things! I have no idea where they’ve been!” You tell tell them motioning to Jasper who just shrugs and rolls his eyes. Harper looks around the room waiting for an idea to strike her.

“Oh, I know!” She exclaims. “Y/N, out of every guy in this room, which one would you have sex with?” A smile graces her lips, she’s proud of her question.

“Hmmm, if I have to pick, I’d say… Murphy,” youtell them. Everyone gives you shocked looks and Murphy scoots closer to you.

“Wel Doll, ya know all you have to do is ask,” Murphy tells you while wrapping an arm around your shoulders and giving you a wink. You roll your eyes and push his arm off of you.

“So, Jasper tru-” you get cut off before you can even finish your sentence.

“Wait, wait, wait! I want to know why you’d fuck Murphy out of all of us,” Monty interrupts you.

“Yeah, I got to admit I’m curious too,” Bellamy tells you taking a swig of his drink.

“Fine! I’ll explain myself,” you say while sitting up instead of resting against the wall. “Well, I didn’t choose Monty because we’re so close he’s basically my brother, and I don’t want to fuck my brother. It’s not Jasper because he’s not my type,” you look at him to see his face is pulled into a pout, “Sorry Hun I’m not into stoners. Bellamy, you’re really hot, don’t get me wrong, but you’re overconfident and I don’t find that sexy. Miller– well Miller’s gay!” You end your spiel by throwing your hands into the air.

“Wait a minute, so I’m just your last option?” Murphy asks you, his voice holds a playful tone which is brought out by the alcohol coursing through him. You’re all plastered by this point in the night.

“Don’t look so upset, at least you’re getting laid at all!” Cries Jasper bringing everyone’s attention to him.

“Jasper, I’m not actually going to have sex with Murphy,” you explain to the drunken boy.

“Oh,” he says looking down at his lap sadly.

“Don’t sound so sure of yourself Doll, I can be very persuasive,” Murphy whispers in your ear while placing his hand on your thigh. All you do is roll your eyes, making no move to remove his hand.

“Can we get back to the game now?” You ask everyone, your question is followed by a chorus of yeses. “Clarke, truth or dare?” Clarke downs the rest of her drink before looking up at you.

“Dare,” she says with a determined glint in her eye.

“Well, let’s see, what can I make the princess do?” You tap your chin in thought– it doesn’t take long for an idea to pop into your head. “I dare you to take Monroe’s bra off.” Clarke takes a deep breath before crawling over to Monroe and unclasping her bra and then pulling the straps down her shoulders, eventually taking it out from under her shirt. She holds the bra up in the air as if it’s a trophy and then returns to her seat next to Bellamy.

“Murphy, truth or dare?” Clarke asks him. She has a suspicious glint in her eye and you know she’s planning something.

“Dare, I’m not a wimp,” Murphy squeezes your leg when he says that.

“I dare you to give Y/N a lap dance.”

So that’s the devious deed she had in mind. You look over at Murphy expectantly, waiting to see if he’d actually do it or not. Surprisingly he stands up and offers you his hand. You raise an eyebrow at him as you let him pull you up and over to a chair. It’s obvious Murphy is totally wasted, there’s no way he would ever do this sober. A laugh escapes your lips once he starts to do a strip tease– slowly taking off his jacket and lifting his shirt up so you can see his stomach. As he moves closer to you he’s doing body rolls and thrusting his hips while pointing at you. The next thing you know he’s on your lap, grinding down on you and all you can do is throw your head back in a loud laugh. Once Murphy has deemed the dance over you both head back over to the group who is laughing their asses off at what they just witnessed.

“Hey, don’t laugh I know you all secretly wish that was you,” Murphy slurs at them.

“Okay well I think Murphy’s had enough fun for tonight. C’mon let’s get you back to your tent,” you support Murphy as you try to walk him back to his tent which is luckily close by. When you finally get him in he’s already half asleep. Sighing you take off his shoes and socks, then tuck him into bed.

“Wait,” you hear Murphy faintly say as you get up to leave, “stay?” He asks you.

You look over your shoulder at him, he seems so vulnerable, so unlike the Murphy that everyone thinks he is. The rude, sarcastic Murphy can’t be found when you look at him now, he’s been replaced by someone who just needs a friend. Someone who just wants somebody to care about him. So, you nod and get under the covers. You cuddle into his side, his arms are wrapped around you as your head lies on his chest. You drift off to sleep, soothed by the sound of his steady heartbeat.

In the morning the two of you will wake up with pounding headaches and far away memories of a very hilarious lap dance. Sadly, the drunk carefree Murphy will have disappeared only for the asshole to take his spot again. But maybe, just maybe you can bring out that side of him when he’s sober.