ugh this is not my forte

anonymous asked:

a) your blog is gr8 m8, solid 10/8 and b) can I get headcanons for phichit, otabek, and yuri p's first kiss with their s/o?

Thank you to everyone who helped me come up with ideas for this :3 I appreciate the help! I hope you enjoy what I’ve written! Thank you for the request <3


[Yuri Plisetsky]

  • ((thanks to anonymous))
  • Your first kiss with Yuri was super spontaneous and emotional, holy shit
  • Yuri invited you to sit in on one of his skating practices, and of course there was no way you could say no
  • i mean i would kill to watch that boi skate all day like he’s so bootyful out on the ice ;-;
  • He works extra hard in your presence; he puts so much more emotion and effort into his routine to impress you
  • During one of Yuri’s breaks, he sits with you outside of the rink to watch Viktor and Japanese Yuuri practice their pair skating routine
  • he acts like he doesn’t care about their skating but he’s actually watching them because he looks up to them and wants to learn from them awww <3
  • Yuuri slips a bit but Viktor catches him in his arms; Viktor holds him in a dip and plants a quick kiss on his nose, causing Yuuri to laugh and your boyfriend to jump up from his seat
  • “You assholes call that a kiss? This is what a real kiss looks like!”
  • “Yuri what the f uc k—
  • Without warning, Yuri grabs your waist and dips you back, planting a sweet and forceful kiss on your lips
  • Yuuri stars in shock, and Viktor silently applauds Yuri for having the guts of pulling such a smooth move on you
  • You kiss Yuri back gratefully, taking in the sweetness and warmth of your first kiss

[Phichit Chulanont]

  • ((thanks to @overlyfanfulthoughts))
  • You’ve been dating Phichit for some time, but neither of you have ever had the guts to make the first move
  • but that’s okay; these things have a way of working themselves out lmao
  • You’re on a typical coffeeshop date with your boyfriend on a chilly winter day, unwinding after a long day of shopping and playing in the snow
  • okay pardon my rude interruption but imagine playing in the snow with the sweet bean phichit i mean cmon he would totally build a snow fort with you and have snowball fights ugh need me a freak like that
  • Phichit orders each of you a large hot chocolate with extra whipped cream: just the way he loves it
  • You have a casual conversation about your day, how Phichit’s skating is going, and make plans for the next date
  • In the midst of conversation, you find yourself absentmindedly poking at the whipped cream in your cup
  • You take a dab of whipped cream onto your finger and put it on your nose, earning a laugh from Phichit
  • “You have a little something on your face there, darling. Need some help, (Y/N)?”
  • SAY YES OF COURSE YOU SAY YES
  • Phichit leans across the table to kiss the whipped cream off of your nose, but he looses his balance and plants his puckered lips onto yours in a surprised kiss
  • It takes a moment to get used to the feeling, but you both melt into your first kiss and feel warmer than the hot chocolate could ever make you feel

[Otabek Altin]

  • ((thanks to @genuinelydisappointed))
  • You’re holding hands with your boyfriend on you walk home from your date, a soft rain drizzling around you
  • you wished you had taken Beka’s motorcycle for a ride, but he just wanted to spend more time with you on a longer walk <3
  • A comfortable silence has fallen over the two of you, but you feel as if Otabek is talking to you with the way he casually side glances at you or periodically squeezes your hand
  • It’s not awkward or anything; you’ve only been on a few dates with him now, but you definitely have feelings for him
  • and he has feelings for you too omfg i promise
  • You finally reach your doorstep, both of you standing silently in the rain and not wanting to say goodbye just yet
  • The silence is broken when you give Otabek a tight hug, which he gladly returns
  • You shyly break away and give him a soft peck on the cheek: a silent ‘thank you’ for the wonderful date you’ve had, despite the weather
  • “Is that all, (Y/N)?”
  • “I—what? the fuck you talking about beka
  • You feel a blush spread on your cheeks as Beka takes your face firmly but gently into his hands, and he leans in to give you a soft kiss to your lips
  • The kiss lasts a while, both of you with your eyes closed and heart fluttering, feeling the first kiss of many to come
Zootopia/Robin Hood Fanfiction TAKE A STAND Ch.30- The Last Hustle

(AN/Hey it’s Garouge/Crewefox here with the penultimate instalment of Take a Stand. Sorry I’m a tad late things have been crazy lately and this chapters is the longest one yet at over 8000 words! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, reblogged, liked, faved and followed this fic, I can’t believe it’s nearly over. Ok so it’s time to address the elephant in the room, last week the review section of this fanfic became a war zone and this person hurt the most was not me or Zieg but Jill Fine, Jill if you’re reading this please know that this chapter is dedicated to you you have been supporting this story from the get go and the abuse you received was deplorable and unacceptable and I hope you come back to the Zootopia fandom soon, we always got your back and I’m so sorry this series of online bullying happened to you, I offer my most sincerest apologies. Ok now onto the next bit the user at the heart of this cyber bullying incident Psycox has passed away in a tragic traffic accident according to reports, even though I am disgusted with his behaviour the news of his death is a tragedy. Now without further ado let’s get cracking with this chapter…)

Here’s the fanfiction.net link… https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12105029/30/Take-A-Stand

Chapter 30- The Last Hustle

Padraic Rattigan was trying to remain calm, to display a face of confidence at this trying time and yet his usually combed fur looked ruffled and his yellow eyes were narrowed and were simmering with anger. Felicia who was driving the Benz pulled into the familiar surroundings of Misdaad’s mansion in the meadowlands suburbs and could already see that the Zebra had gotten the news about Buttercup’s bakery being raided and the failed hit on Trevor Moon; Rattigan could see through the car window that some of Misdaad’s henchmen were already putting her bags in a car. Felicia stopped the Benz, got out, opened the passenger door and let Rattigan step onto her paws. Madame Misdadd emerged from the house dressed not in a stylish dress for once but in fitness attire. “Bahati,” Rattigan called out “I trust you’ve heard the news.”

Keep reading

  • Winter: *answers her scroll* Hello?
  • Qrow: Hey there, Schnee.
  • Winter: Qrow... What do you want?
  • Qrow: Oh, I was just s<i>qrow</i>ling doing my contacts and found your number-which I'm surprised that wasn't me. Wanna go out and drink with me?
  • Winter: Ugh. No.
  • Qrow: C'mon, Ice Queen! No need to be so... Cold! This way you're gonna make me... Schneeze! *fakely schneezing*
  • Winter: You're insufferable! *hangs up*
  • Winter: Like I would ever... *receives a message from Qrow*
  • Qrow: <i>If you ever change your mind, meet me outside this fort you call Academy at ten ;)</i>
  • Winter: *smirks*

I’ve talked before on my love for Michel de Chevin, and I’ve probably mentioned that I’m not a huge fan of Blackwall. I love imagining if Michel ended up as the other warrior instead of him. Just imagine the banter you could get from him.

Imagine Sera. It starts out her mocking him for being a fancy pancy Chevalier. Then she finds out his hand in what happened at Halamshiral. And then about his heritage.

Imagine Solas. Michel talking about how he knew some elves that reminded him a bit of Solas. Talking about Briala. Talking about Fellasen.

Imagine Vivienne. Who knew him because they both held possessions in Celene’s court. Who knows his disgrace, how he failed the Empress. She doesn’t judge him for it though, like he expects. He is a Chevalier, and he honored his code until the very end.

Imagine his comments at the winter palace! Seeing Gaspard, Briala, and Celene for the first time since his disgrace. Specific comments about nobles. Insight into the game. I can’t even imagine who he would say should take the thrown, he honestly has reason to want or not want them all on it.

Imagine his comments on the Eluvian. He has been to the crossroads. He knows the use they could provide.

Imagine romancing him as an elf….

Or if you have him in the Hinterlands when you run into Mihris

Banter really isn’t my forte, but if anyone wants to take a crack at doing more than just imagining please @ me because this is my lifeblood right now.

OOC: …… I…I’ve made a mini-monster.

 I mean… I’ve made a Mini-Ler…. 030 ….
IT’S A NEXTGEN for Des and Verse-Ler…! I’m trash. c;

MY HAND SLIPPED! I SWEAR!  …ugh.. this little asshole. I can’t even begin. This is “Forte” everyone. He will be open for Multi-Shipping! 030 He has a spiked guitar for a weapon. (YES, HE HAS HANDS. I’M JUST TOO LAZY!)

Misunderstanding (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Well, well, well, what can I say? My very first post here…How exciting! I hope y’all enjoy this… Requests are currently opened so feel free to drop an ask! <3

—————————————————————————–

New York city was even busier on work days, believe it or not. The rush usually reached its peak by lunch time.

The echoes of your high heels hitting the sidewalk were drowned out by the buzzing city around you. Your pace was quickened, along with the mass of people you walked across the street when the light turned green.

You kept your purse close to your side, along with the documents you carried pressed to your chest. You stopped near a map of the Big Apple – you were still relatively new to the city, and getting lost was the last thing on your list since your boss would hold it against you forever.

Briefly scanning the map you found a nice place to grab lunch and rushed to it without a second thought.

The small bell chimed as you opened the door and stepped it. The warm air tickled your cheeks, your mouth watering from the smell of cupcakes and fresh bread.

Looking around, you stood in line: the place was relatively small, but unlike so many things in the city – it wasn’t modern. Heavy wooden chairs and tables stood all around you, paintings of flowers and dancing women hung on the pleasantly coloured walls.

Your phone buzzed, making you look down and search your small purse in order to find the electronic object. Yanking it out and pressing ‘Answer’ you pushed it to your ear.

“Hello?” Was the first thing to come out of your mouth.

“Hey, (Name)!” The bubbly voice of your co-worker greeted your ears “You out to get lunch now?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m actually waiting in line now-“ Your voice ended with a  crack, your hand accidentally pushing the man in front of you.

Slowly, he tilted his head to see behind him, and you gave him an apologetic smile. Snapping your head to the back you glared at the teenage girl who pushed you.

“Sorry..” She shrugged.

“Oi, you okay?” The voice in your phone chirped.

“Yeah, yeah…” You uttered, turning back “Some girl accidentally pushed me.” You explained.

“Happens all the time” She reassured “At least it was an accident – see this Thursday I was at a restaurant with Clyde, you know Clyde from work, and some jerk straight up bumped into me and didn’t even say sorry! I was about to throw a-“

“Monica, did you want something?” You noted the queue getting smaller and smaller “My turn is about to be up-“

“Ah, yes, could you get me a salad? I’m really hungry” She began “See Tom, you know Tom my superior, gave me this big pile of paperwork to fill in so I have to sacrifice my lunch hour.” A sigh “Please, please please! In reality you can get me anything, all that matters is that it’s edible.” You cracked a smile at her laugh “Okay? Okay! Love you!”

Beep beep beep

“-And what would your girlfriend like?” The energetic female by the counter asked the man you accidentally pushed.

“My….girlfriend?” He asked, clearly confused. He seemed to look around, “I d-“

“Yes, that pretty girl standing behind you!” The cashier clarified and you nearly dropped your phone. The man turned to fully look at you, and you nearly dropped your phone again.

Rye blond hair was hiding beneath a dark blue baseball hat, sky blue eyes looking at you confused. He was much taller than you, how you didn’t notice this at first you weren’t sure, wearing only a simple dark hoodie and jeans. And well-built too holy-and that jaw! That jaw, oh my god you felt like it could cut you.

Your cheeks heated slightly as you fought the urge to stare like an idiot and finally looked away. His look soon morphed into embarrassment, his irises sweeping you up and down and he quickly turned back to the cashier.

“She’s n-“

“See we have a discount for couples – if you buy both buy number two you get number three for free and a blueberry cupcake as a gift” She smiled, ignoring the awkwardness that settled in the shop.

The man cleared his throat.

“Sorry, Miss, but—“

“Yes, we’ve been dating for over a year now, is it that obvious?” You giggled, stepping in “We’ll have two number two’s, please” Sending a warm smile the cashiers way you prayed to God that the man doesn’t think you’re out of your mind. “You could use an extra meal, sweetheart” you finished, your words directed to the mystery man by your side.

“Right, now I’ll need you to tell me a cute moment shared between you two” The cashier chimed.

“Huh?” The man flabbergasted.

“A cute moment?” You fake smiled “Oh, well we have plenty of those, don’t we honey!” You continued to rant on “Well, uhm, when we just started dating he took me out to this Italian restaurant  where we, ugh, had a, a total blast” You nearly smacked yourself . Making stuff up on the spot was not your forte “He uhm, got me this bracelet!” You stuck out your wrist, showing the thin golden chain off “As a gift! The evening was lovely.” You finished awkwardly. The woman nodded happily, going to prepare your order.

Inhaling, you looked up to find him staring at you utterly lost. You have a lame smile.

“Sorry for putting you on the spot like that.” You said “See my friend really wants to eat lunch but can’t so I just thought-“

“No need to apologize, Miss.” He shook his head, a timid smile forming on his lips. You gulped, looking away.

Wait a minute… you thought, frowning softly Doesn’t he look…Oddly familiar?

“Uhm, this might be a bit weird…” You spoke again, gaining his attention “But have I met you before?”

His face immediately dyed itself red.

“Alright!” The woman behind the counter returned with your orders, placing them near the cash register “That’ll be 10.99$” She checked in, her friendly eyes travelling from you to the man expecting.

“Oh, right.” The man quickly murmured, taking out his wallet.

“Nonsense, I’ll pay,-“ only now did you realize you had yet to catch his name “-hun” you hurriedly added, also searching for money.

“My treat, darling” He said lightly, paying for the meal whilst you tried to fight the urge to squeal. The way he said it! So simply, so smoothly!-

“Here’s your change!” The cashier chirped “Make sure to come back tomorrow! Our deal doesn’t end till January!” She called after you, as the two of you were stepping out the door.

The loud honks of cars and chatter of people greeted your ears, the chilly wind blowing your hair and making you hook a loose strand behind your ear so it wouldn’t smack you in the face.

“Right, how much money do I owe you?” You asked, standing a bit further away from the street to not block traffic.

“Like I said, “ He gave you the free meal and cupcake “-it’s my treat.” He smiled. You stared at him.

“What-no, no, I’ll pay, just tell me how much” You insisted.

“Alright, alright” He sighed in defeat “What’s your name?”

“(Name)” You told without a second thought.

“Steve” He introduced “So, (Name), how about you repay me next time?”

You blinked.

“Next time?” You narrowed your eyes.

“Uhm, well, the cashier said the deal only ends in January-“ He quickly explained himself.

“Oh!” You awed, releasing a laugh “Sorry, I looked like I was about to fight you, or something” You shook your head playfully “I’m still new to New York and I have received a number of invites to grab a bite but catcallers aren’t really my thing and I just-“ You shifted in place awkwardly “you know- my reaction was a bit uncalled for…”

“I completely understand if you don’t want to-“

“No, no” You waved hurried “I’d go. For free food. I like free food.” Your eyes swept him up and down “And you don’t seem like a creep so I don’t think pretending to be a couple would hurt.”

“Right” He cracked a smile “I’ll see you around then?” You grinned, nodding.

Turning on your heel, you pressed the food and papers closer to yourself taking in an excited breath. Your stomach felt full of butterflies, your heart releasing nervous sputters. Taking the first steps you suddenly stopped, wanting to hit yourself.

“Wait!” You called, turning back to Steve whose back was already retreating. With a rushed step you caught up to him. He gazed at you surprised “I forgot to ask for your number” You grinned, awkwardly.

“I’m an idiot” He admitted.

“Seems like the both of us are.”

After exchanging numbers and saying goodbye for the last time, you made sure to sprint to your office before you had a heart attack.

~*~

Monica was sitting by her desk overfilled with papers, suddenly jumping when you were in sight.

“There you are!” She exclaimed “What took you so long? Lunch is nearly over-“ Her voice died down, her eagle like eyes examining your complexion “Why are your cheeks red? Did you run here?”

You nodded, dumbly. Setting the food down, you threw yourself on your chair and sighed heavily, relaxing into the comfortable seat. Your feet were hurting from the heels, arms heavy from carrying so many things.

“How far were you?” She questioned, opening her box “Uuu! Cesar salad!” She clapped her hands happily.

“Just…” You took a moment to catch your breath “Around the corner…”

“Why run then?” She continued questioned, taking a bite out of her food.

“I got a bit…” You searched for a good explanation. Coming out empty of excuses, you took your meal and decided to tell the truth “-I met this guy.”

Bump

Curiously looking at your co-worker, you found her staring at you wide eyed, her food dropped on the table and pieces of salad adoring Toms beloved papers.

“Tell. Me. Everything.” She said seriously, stressing each word. You bit your lip to hide the smile that was making its way on your face.

“Well…” You thought for a moment “Okay!” shoving your food to the side, you fully turned to her “So, his name is Steve. Really, and I do mean, really handsome. Blond hair, blue eyes – a true American dreamboat “ You had no idea how true your statement was “He works out…And he is so polite, and sweet and charming, and his voice is so smooth-“

“Girls, girls!” Another co-worker that seemingly appeared out of nowhere hurriedly turned on the TV “Captain America is on the news!” She announced.

“Captain America?!” Monica tuned in in an instant.

You figured the conversation was over for now, so getting back to your food you took a huge bite, rolling your eyes up to watch the news.

You nearly choked.

It’s him! You screeched in your head, you heart hammering in your chest.

Oh my God, oh my God-

Oh my god!” You exclaimed.

///The Next Day///

You found him waiting by the same shop you two agreed to meet up.

Taking in a deep breath, you approached him. As soon as your eyes met you couldn’t help but smile.

“Hey” He said, breathless.

“Hello” You greeted “Captain.” His face turned sour, and he frowned softly. Looking to the side, he scratched the back of his neck.

“So you know, huh…”

“Now, now, don’t pout, darling” You continued, making his surprised blue eyes stare at you “We have to think what story of our dating we feed the cashier today.”

You watched the look on his face morph into amusement and he cracked a small smile.

“How about…” He fake thought for a second “About that time when we first met and scheduled a date but forgot to exchange numbers?”

“A date?” You raised a brow “I remember it being a mutual agreement.” For a second he seemed lost “But, I guess I never really minded it being a date.”

And that’s when the world lit up with his beautiful smile and your lungs suddenly felt a loss of oxygen.

“I think that story will do nicely.” He said, motioning for you to follow him inside the bakery.

Heart Eyes

summary: phil finds out about ‘heart eyes howell.’ he tries catching it.

info: fluff (as per fucking usual), a lil’ longer

a/n: a little angst??? do i even know how to write angst

-

Phil has seen it plenty of times. Heart Eyes Howell. 

It wasn’t something he minded, though. Phil knew his audience definitely did. But what they didn’t understand was it was just Dan’s thing. He stared at people when they talk. Cat, Louise, Tyler- anyone and everyone. It was regular.


But as he was feeling adventurous, he decided to scroll through the ‘phan’ tag on Tumblr. Phil knew it was a death trap and nothing good could come out of this except curiosity, pastel colors and a feminine Dan Howell.

Phil sat on his bed, crossed legs like a kindergartener.

Curiosity killed the cat,” He thought, considering putting away his laptop and doing something productive like watering the houseplants, “Oh well.”


It was edits, quotes and gifs galore.

Phil almost couldn’t believe that his fans were capable of doing something so amazing; creating this amazing community for everyone.

Sometimes he would laugh, sometimes he would just raise his eyebrows. He didn’t understand some of the things his following did, but Phil loved them too much to judge them for anything. He considered them family. 

Then, the posts started coming through. The conspiracies.

he’s in love with him

they’re too married for this world


Phil read off some of the words they have written. The pictures, the old tweets. He’ll admit that all of them are 100% true. Dan on the other hand, won’t even talk to him about the past. He ignores it like they never even happened. 

Like they were always this way. 

Just purely platonic best friends who could rule the world side by side. 


Phil sighed, still scrolling through. “Those Heart Eyes again- are they really this common?” 

Left and right were pictures of Dan staring at Phil like he was the only thing he cared about. Black and white filters to add some effect- Someone had to have edited this in some way to make it seem like that, right?

Phil knew he was lying to himself. 

You know what? I’m gonna catch him. Every chance I get.

-

“Hey everyone!” Dan exclaimed to the camera, as they filmed yet another gaming video. Undertale, which meant one hour in front of a camera. Phil not only had his own two eyes to catch Heart Eyes in action- but a camera lens.

Phil forgot for a second what he was planning on saying. He came up with this stuff on the spot, “Hey Dan and Phil Games short haircuts!” 

Still looking at the camera, he tried to focus in on Dan. “Really? Short haircuts?” 


He was doing it. 

Exactly what everyone was talking about. His eyes had a sparkle, and his smile was almost loving. Dan’s head was tilted in his direction, and he looked like an absolute angel.

“W-Well, Toto has short hair, don’t they?” Phil replied, stuttering a bit. He was taken aback. He didn’t know he would actually catch it- especially that quickly. 

Dan chuckled, “Sure- Sure, Phil.” 

Alright, let’s get into it. Where did we leave off?”

-

They filmed, and filmed, and filmed.

Phil would make a remarking joke and Dan would just chuckle, staring straight into his eyes, completely ignoring the fact that they were playing a game. It would only be for a split second, but it felt like years. Phil would stare right back, almost transfixed on him.

So, this is what people are talking about- huh.

It happened quite a few times, really. Sometimes randomly and other moments Phil wouldn’t even notice he was doing it. Is this what the people are talking about? 

He could tell Dan was getting freaked out by his weird behavior this episode- though weird behavior was his forte. So, Dan pause the gameplay and turned over to him.

“What’s wrong? You’re acting a little weird today.” Dan asked, genuinely concerned. Phil only froze in place, trying to seem fine- he wasn’t.

“Nothing’s wrong, Dan- let’s keep going-”

“Nothing’s wrong? It sure as hell doesn’t seem like anything’s wrong. You’ve been staring at me like there’s something in my eye- Oh my god, do I have something in my eye? Ugh, I hate it when that happens-” Dan ranted, probing at the inner corners of his eyes with his finger. Phil shushed him, rolling his eyes.

Putting his hands on top of his, he felt a little shiver run up his arm but continued on to talk, “Absolutely nothing is in your eye, and absolutely nothing is going on with me- Now, can we please get back to filming?”

His eyes begged Dan to just unpause the game and continue playing like they were planning to. But as they were flatmates, Phil knew Dan like the back of his hand, and he certainly wasn’t going to do that.

“No, Phil- just tell me what’s going on.” He did it again. The eyes- they were sparkling with interest. They were no longer just a brown glob, but something more than Phil could’ve even seen before.

His almost wanted to remove his hands from his, but he didn’t want to. It felt comforting. Right

Phil snapped out of it. He felt something he didn’t want to feel and he was sure Dan could see his mind freaking out from the outside. “I’m sorry, look- nothing’s wrong.” 

“Then why the fuck are you apologizing?” He chuckled sarcastically. Dan’s face could only describe confusion at this point.

“Because, I’m assuming shit- sorry- that I shouldn’t.” Phil apologized for cursing, even though he knew that Dan didn’t care. Of all people, he shouldn’t have to apologize to Dan for cursing- of all things.

Dan smiled, looking up. 

“Phil, you’re my best friend in the entire fucking world. I know I’m not the best at listening, but Jesus Christ- I care about you more than anything. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve come a long way, and I thank you for that.

“You’re quite literally the sun- spreading joy like a fucking confetti blaster and I just want you- need you to tell me what’s wrong. It could be the most stupidest thing- a dog bit you this morning- you want to move out- I don’t care,” He smiled even more, “Whatever makes you happy.”

Phil could feel the tension between them. He could slice it with a knife. And Dan could feel it as well. Honestly, it was always there; ever since good ol’ 2009.

They were extremely close, feet touching underneath the table. Their hands were gripping onto each others like they were never planning on letting go. Phil savored it.

The moment wasn’t perfect though. Dan had a bit of lint on his shoulder that’s been annoying Phil since the beginning of the day. Phil hadn’t brushed his teeth since breakfast and his breath smelt of death- coming from Dan’s perspective. 

But none of that mattered. Phil’s mind was rushing with adrenaline from Dan. His features were softer- more touchable than before. He didn’t know what love felt like, as he has never experienced it.


But Phil kissed him anyway.

He heard Dan breath in, and felt Dan smile, kissing him back.

It felt natural, as Phil’s hands went straight in to pull Dan closer. Grabbing his hair, Dan twisted it around his fingers. He tasted the cereal off his lips. Phil sighed.


I’m certainly taking this out of the video.

It’s Patrick Stump :D

The next entry in my synesthesia-esque portrait series, where I draw singers in the colors I hear in their voices.

I’m not entirely satisfied with this one (or the photo I took of it, ugh), but that’s okay! That just means I’ll have to do better next time. Speaking of next time, next up is Matt Bellamy of Muse ^.^

Skyping with Kris
  • Suho: Now, we're only doing this because someone told Kyungsoo that Kris is dead and we have to prove to him that he has not, as someone so delicately put it, "gone to join the dark lord in hell."
  • Chanyeol: Is that not what Kyungsoo would want to hear if Kris were dead?
  • Suho:
  • Suho: So anyway, let's get this over with. -calls Kris on skype-
  • Kris: Hi, guys!
  • Kyungsoo: You jerk! Why aren't you dead?
  • Kris: Haha, aww. I love you too.
  • Suho: Kyungsoo's left the room. Are we done here?
  • Kai: Hey, Kris, we have a new dad.
  • Kris: What? Haha I bet he doesn't take Sehun out for street food like I used to.
  • Suho: Actually, he recently took Sehun to a Shakespearean play.
  • Sehun: And Everland!
  • Suho: But more importantly a Shakespearean play.
  • Sehun: And Everland! Also he gave me a present for Xiumin's birthday.
  • Xiumin: Because Sehun wouldn't stop whining about Luhan sending me birthday nudes. Tell him to stop sending those, by the way. We're over.
  • Kris: Aw, you guys broke up?
  • Sehun: Yeah, do you have Luhan's number?
  • Kris: I -
  • Tao: HEY SO HOW ABOUT THIS WEATHER WE'RE HAVING
  • Kris: Yeah, it's warming up. Sehun, do you want to come build a blanket fort in China?
  • Sehun: But you told me blanket forts were as lame or lamer than chicken.
  • Kris: That was the old me. I've changed.
  • Suho: NO ONE IS GOING TO CHINA.
  • Kris: Baekhyun, I could hook you up with some people to shoot your movie.
  • Baekhyun: That sounds tempting but I'm working on a different project right now.
  • Kris: Oh, yeah?
  • Baekhyun: Have you seen Xiumin's abs?
  • Kris: I have nice abs.
  • Suho: No, you don't. We're hanging up.
  • Kyungsoo: -from another room- YEAH HANG UP
  • Kris: Wait Suho, let me show you this cool new tattoo on my -
  • Suho: UGH -hangs up-
  • Suho:
  • Suho:
  • Suho: Who wants ice cream?
Happy Birthday Phil

Hello!! Here is my new phanfic, as promised. 

Summary: Dan refuses to accept Phil’s proposal because it is Phil’s birthday.

TW: none

Word Count: About 3000 

A/N: Okay, so to be honest, I don’t like this fic as much as my others, but since I spent a lot of time writing it, and I’m proud of some parts, I’m going to post this. Give me lots of feedback because I love that stuff, and most importantly, Happy Birthday Phil! 

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“Phil! I’m home!” Dan shouted as he walked in the door to their apartment. “Phil?”

Phil was sitting on his bed, pondering what to do with the little velvet box in his hands. He had been planning this day for months, where he would propose while they were doing something cute, like watching TV or just having cuddle time, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He decided that his birthday would be a good day, as Dan would never suspect it.

He hoped Dan would say yes. All Phil’s friends knew about this and reassured Phil that all would go well, but he couldn’t help but be utterly and completely terrified.

“PHIL IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY,” Dan tackled Phil on the bed. Thankfully, Phil managed to get the little box back in his pocket before Dan saw or felt it.

“Yup,” Phil said, smiling then pecking Dan on the lips. “It’s been my birthday this whole day.”

Dan laughed. “You know what I mean. Anyway, it’s time for presents? Yay or nay? Should we wait ‘till after dinner? Also, I thought that we could have pizza anyway since it’s your favorite. Is that okay? Or I can totally make something.”

Phil cut Dan off with a kiss. “Relax, Dan, my birthday has been great so far. I’ve just been sitting on tumblr all day watching videos.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t here all day-”

“But you’re here now! Let’s have fun,” Phil said, looking up at Dan.

“Okay,” Dan said, pinning Phil down to the bed. “Let’s have fun.” He seductively kissed Phil’s cheek until Phil pushed them both upright.

“Not that kind of fun. Let’s, I know, let’s build a fort!”

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Green Eyed Deadpool

Prompt @deadpools-babe: Can you make a Deadpool x reader where DP’s being a jealous dork to everyone looking (staring) at her girlfriend. 

A/N: I feel like Deadpool would be insanely jealous so I <3 this prompt.

Warning: As always, SWEARING!!!!

Originally posted by ageofsuperheroes

“Wade, I really don`t know why I need to come along on this hit” you whined.

“Babe, I need support- emotional, sexual support” he pulled you closer to him, his gloved hands wandering down to your ass.

“Mmm I think you just get bored staking out henchmen” you chuckled, your own gloved hands circling his neck.

“90s rap can get boring after a while” he sighed.

“Hey who am I kidding! Salt n Peppa are my girls” he relented.

“Sweetie, we really need to balance this mercenary/lovers life. I`m a mercenary, you’re a mercenary, and I really want more time to be lovers” you flirt.

“Ugh baby, let`s go do the hit, and come back and do our own” he pinched your ass and you squealed, walking out of your apartment.

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The first part of that kurotsuki blueblood business au~


Kuroo hated these stuffy parties. If they could even be called that. A huge stuffy room filled with stuffy relatives and business partners and tension, and not the good kind of tension, the “if given a chance we will destroy your entire livelihood” kind of tension.  The smiles were fake, and talk was filled with false friendliness, and if you had a single hair out of place the entire room was sent into flurried whispers.

He would rather be playing a video game with Kenma (who violently refused to come to these), or partying with Bokuto (even if he was ditching him more and more to hang out with Akaashi), or playing volleyball, or even studying (he would never admit how interested he was in some of that stuff, especially not to Bokuto, and especially not here).

But…his parents were paying for his education, and part of that’s was coming to their parties, at least once a week. He just wished his parents would stop shoving affluent girls at him. He wasn’t interested in this type of person.

And it wouldn’t hurt if Bo would talk to him, even a little. But Bo went strangely serious in this setting. The girls all thought that he and Akaashi—the handsome commoner working his way up through the ranks—were super mysterious. Which. No. Akaashi, maybe, but Bokuto, hardly.

Suddenly his mother’s screeching laughter cut through his thoughts. Everyone always said he had his mother’s voice, but there was no way he sounded like that, right? “Kurooooo~” she called. That was the most annoying part. He waded through the crowd until he saw her, however much he didn’t want to. “There’s someone I want you to meet,” she continued, as though he had been standing by her side the entire time. That’s how his mother operated. “This is Tsukishima Kei,” she gestured to a tall, impeccably dressed man standing next to her, “His father is the sole owner of Tsukishima Corporations.” If Kuroo didn’t have his poker face mastered, he might have whistled. Tsukishima Corporations had its claws in everything, but mainly focused on pharmaceutical production, and electronics. This Tsukishima might actually outrank him. Not that there was a ‘ranking’ if anyone here were asked (there absolutely was a ranking).

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Kuroo slipped his fake smile on. He knew, from years of experience, that it was perfect.  The man didn’t respond, simply raised a slim brow and hmphed. This, this was not protocol. This was blatantly rude, not subtly rude. He glanced to his mother for help.

His mother’s smile widened. “Kei’s father and I were thinking of having you heading the opening of a small branch together, what do you think?”

“That sounds fantastic!” he grins. “But… what about school?”

This time it was Tsukishima who answered, “It would only be for the summer, then we would pass the enterprise to someone else.”

“Oh, that’s perfect then!” So he would be losing his entire summer to some prick his mother thought would ‘fix’ him.

His mother beamed, clearly happy he had gone along with her whim. “Then I’ll leave you two to discuss things. Kei can explain far better than I, I’m sure.” The two men quickly left her. Good then at least Tsukishima understood that when his mother says “I’ll leave” she means “you’ll leave.” A lot of people didn’t know that, and got on her bad side; Kuroo knew from observation that her bad side was not where anyone wanted to be.

Once they were standing to the edges of the room, separate from the crowds, Kuroo decided it was time to get down to business. The business of pissing this guy off that is. “So Tsukki,” he began. “We should exchange numbers so we can ge—”

“Don’t call me Tsukki,” he interrupted. Kuroo noticed the other was taller than him, and seemed quite used to looking down on people. “And don’t even think I’ll be falling all over you like everyone else here. My father thinks this is a good opportunity to get in with your mother, but we don’t need you or your family. Understood?” When Kuroo didn’t answer, he continued. “My assistant already has your information; I’ll have them contact you when it fits my schedule. And let me make this clear, this is business, not friendship.” With that Tsukishima left Kuroo flustered and alone.

That…was not what he expected. There was an unspoken code, in this society, and Tsukki had just shattered it. He found that he liked it, actually. This man didn’t seem to have an agenda; Kuroo didn’t know how to handle this situation. But he would figure it out, and win this guy over.


“Shit,” Tsukishima said as soon as he sat down.

“Kei? What happened?” Yachi’s small voice questioned.

“Are you okay?” added on Yamaguchi.

“I fucked up,” he replied, running his fingers exhaustedly through his short hair. He told them about the events of the party.

“But…you don’t even have an assistant,” Yamaguchi said at the end.

“I know,” he gritted out.

“And your father said that if you didn’t start getting along with your colleagues you would have to move back home.”

“I know. But this guy was so loud, and annoying and cocky. I can’t stand that.”

“Kei,” Yachi scolded. “You don’t even know him.”

“What are you going to do?” Yamaguchi prodded.

“I guess, could one of you pretend to be my assistant, you just need to call him and I’ll tell you what to say. And then…I’ll keep him too scared to tell his mother. Or convince his mother we’re getting on great so it’ll seem like he’s lying.” Ugh. He hated this kind of shit. The lying, manipulation. He might be a business genius but people were not his forte.

“You could just…try to get along with him? A friend who knows what it’s like would be good for you.” Yachi was too sweet sometimes.

Tsukishima laughed humorlessly. “You can’t make friends with these people. All they want is to get as much out of you as they possibly can. Especially, guys like this.”

“Okay…”

“I’ll make it work.”

2

Okay BUT JUST CONSIDER THIS AU.

The only reason they’re both firebenders is bc Raven is kind of a phoenix and Dylas was Thunderbolt at one point. And the poses kind of fit.

I’LL BE HONEST, I WOULD MAKE ANY EDIT TO PUT OFF STUDYING UGH SCREW FINALS.