ugh these little things make me love you even more and i need these things so much

Some Strings Attached

Ugh so there was a post going around that I’ve now long since misplaced but it was like “I just saw you go upstairs with someone else and I know we’re only fuck buddies but I’m gonna go punch them in the face” and I was HERE FOR IT. If somebody remembers the post, link me. In the meantime, have some Sterek getting together fluff.

“Just tell Derek you want to date him,” Scott says, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

Stiles bugs his eyes and flails his hands in wordless frustration, because the correct response to this patently ludicrous advice eludes him. He had come for sympathy, not pie-in-the-sky delusions. “Scott. Bro,” he finally gasps. “How could you even suggest that in good faith? No way! Bad plan!” He slashes his arms in a demonstrative X. “The only reason we’re even hooking up is that I made it super clear I was down to fuck, no strings attached! I’m not ruining a good thing by announcing to Derek Hale that I’m 85% in love with him.”

“Why?” Scott genuinely seems confused, the sweet summer child. After falling into a happy triad with Allison and Isaac after their first semester at UCLA, he doesn’t really understand the definition of “unrequited.”

Stiles turns his attention to a hanging thread on his t-shirt, sourly tugging it loose. “He’s out of my league. I mean, with the baseball, and the smarts, and the sarcasm, and those eyes…” he breaks off with a sigh. The last thing he needs to do is remind himself of how gone he is on Derek. “Just, he’s popular. Dictionary definition of too cool for school. And the three people he actually deigns to hang out with here are all just as cool and good looking as he is. Do I need to remind you I’m not? I’m a gawky, nerdy Sophomore. I’m lucky to even be his fuck-buddy.”

Scott makes a face, incredulous. “I dunno, he must like you well enough if he’s still sleeping with you after all this time. What’s it been, six months? And you guys hang out, too, you’re always telling me about how easy it is to chat with him after you bone. So it’s not just sex.”

Stiles grimaces. “Yeah, but it’s not…”


“… a real relationship,” Derek says into the phone, hearing full well the heavy dejection in his voice. So sue him; the admission is more than a little depressing. “He just wants to be fuck buddies.”

“How do you know?” Laura asks reasonably. “Maybe this Stiles person would be interested in dating you, too. No offence, but you’re not great at reading people. I mean, he’s interested in chilling with you even after you hook up, and clearly he enjoys the physical aspect. Did he actually ever say he wasn’t looking for more?”

Derek heaves a sigh, rolling his eyes even though she can’t see over the phone. “Yep. About two minutes after the first time we slept together he said, ‘no strings attached, obviously.’ So, you know, pretty safe bet that it’s no strings attached.”

“Oh,” Laura says. For once she doesn’t have a snappy comeback.

“Oh,” Derek agrees. Dejectedly.

She gives him a sympathetic little hum, and then asks, “and he’ll definitely be at the sorority barbecue?”

“Yeah.” Stiles and his broad shoulders and his long fingers are definitely going to be at the party.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go,” his sister says softly. “If you really like him, and he’s just looking to get laid…”

Derek groans. Not go, and give up a chance to hook up with Stiles? Smart, maybe, but not something he’s capable of doing.

The problem is, he’s liked Stiles forever. Or at least since he first saw him, laughing uproariously and running around with his friends with an actually broom between his legs, playing “Quidditch.” Derek would have been way too embarrassed to do something like that on the front lawn, but Stiles made it seem like the most effortlessly awesome thing a person could get up to.

No, compared to Stiles, Derek is practically a social recluse, an awkward jock with only about three people who he gets along with at all. Stiles definitely doesn’t want to get saddled with a boyfriend like him. He’s lucky they’re even hooking up after all this time.

“Derek, I mean it,” Laura says. “Look out for yourself for once.”

“I know, I know,” Derek grumbles. “But it’s not my fault he’s…”

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important facts & quotes from hidden oracle reread #4 part one

i cited everything from the hardback edition bc im a nerd 

- page one apollo is already making pop culture references (1)

- meg is such a badass oh my g od (14)

- riodan does such a beautiful way of explaining things in this novels. awe-inspiring. mind blowing. example: “Her eyes glinted darkly like a crow’s. (I can make that comparison because I invented crows.)” (14-15) wow. beautiful. 

- so i understand this series is going to be about Apollo’s redemption and ~~~~finding himself~~~~ or w\e but JESUS PLEASE RICK you can’t just say “She [Meg] reminded me of the strays my sister was always adopting: dogs, panthers, homeless maidens, small dragons.” (15) WITHOUT PROVIDING SEVERAL BOOKS AS EXAMPLE FOR SAID SENTENCE all i want is a book focused on artemis and her army of small dragons and lesbians dear gods please 

- omfg can you just imagine sally having to go over to Percy’s room and having to tell him that the greek god of the sun apollo was there to see him omfg. imagine the salt. imagine both of them just groaning. imagine.

-”If I had still been an immortal, I might have flirted with her [Sally Jackson] myself.” (30-31) l o l Sally is a middle aged married woman seven months pregnant and still bringing in the gods you go girl im proud of you

- Sally Jackson is one of the best characters in the entire series. citation: every riodan book ever even the non-pjo it’s a fact 

- i 10000% support the idea that percy gave apollo the led zeppelin shirt as a sneaky joke he’s so smart i love him so much

- “Percy laced his fingers. They were long and nimble.”(35) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- He [Percy] would have made an excellent musician.” (35) f u ck 

- literally all percy wants is to “stay alive” long enough to go to college, meet his baby sister, and see his mom get her book published my heart is broken for this boy (35-36)

- the return of the seven layer dip fuck me up (40)

- jfc that poor Prius it’s been through so much (52-54)

- page 67 and Percy’s already made two comic book references he’s such a canon nerd 

- “Cops love me almost as much as teachers do.” god Percy Jackson what are you doing to me

- apollo tried to order a pizza to CHB and honestly same (73)

- g o d will solace jfc wow

- we’re to assume Will’s a skier (his Okemo Mountain jacket & skiers tan) (82) and now i have to write the inevitable fic that comes out of this fact

- Will’s mom was a alt.-country singer from Austin, Texas (83) which wow and honestly makes the fact will is a horrible singer 1000% better

- yellow daises grow year-round in the Apollo cabin, and it smells like fresh linens and dried sage. (83)

- kayla is aiming for the olympics and honestly im so proud already 

- fact: any and all solangelo interaction have me crying into my book 

- “Will put his hand on Nico’s shoulder, ‘Nico, we need to have another talk about your people skills.’” lol this implies that they’ve had this talk before and im dying to hear it

- the Hermes kids are big fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show (95) and now i have to write a seperate list of headcanons for this fact

- speaking of, Apollo used to cosplay as Rocky bc why not. (95-96)

- listen i know im solangelo trash BUT - “Will and Nico sat shoulder to shoulder, bantering good-naturedly. They were so cute together it made me feel desolate.” im destroyed (110)

- “but if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen.” “it’s a mood disorder” “i cant control it” stfu nico u nerd u just want to sit with your boyfriend im dead (110)

- Will nodded serenely. “It’s the strangest thing. Not that Nico would ever misuse his powers to get what he wants.” death to goody-two-shoes will solace 2k17

- off topic but CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE CHIRON THO. like. this happens and will and nico are just standing there. in front of him. telling him they have to sit together OR NICO WILL JUST HAPPEN TO PUT CRACKS INTO HIS CAMP. just imagine. him staring at them. sighing. deciding not to fight this one. agreeing & watching them giggle away bc they’re so SNEAKY & now they can EAT TOGETHER WOW 

-   lol when Meg was going to town on the hot dogs and “Julia and Alice watched her with a mixture of fascination and horror.” (111)

- “Will and Nico exchanged a look that might have meant, here we go.” (112) okay im sorry im just sO GONE FOR LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THIS I JUST WANT NICO TO BE HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS OKAY

- apollo refers to the seven as “the A-list” (112) same tho

- Jason, Piper, Coach Hedge, Mellie and baby Chuck are all in LA with Piper’s father like???? (113) THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO SEE? What’s the living arrangement? Is Jason living with Piper? OH GOD IS JASON LIVING WITH HEDGE AND MELLIE? DO THEY ALL LIVE IN SOME BIG PLACE PIPER’S DAD RENTED OUT???? do Piper and Jason babysit? do they have family dinners? how’s baby chuck doing??? how are they all adjusting to domestic life?? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY IMPORTANT TO ME 

- lol nico’s just as pissed as eveRYONE IN THE FANDOM about Leo’s not-death and im living for it (113)

- also nico carries around Leo’s lil ‘IM ALIVE LOL’ letter\hologram\thing? like i get it was completely for the plot but?????? “i look at it whenever i want to get angry” (114) like ok nico u lil bean whatever u say u little emo shit

- apollo’s little ‘lol when u have a headache in olympus hephaestus just cracks open your skull and removes whatever brain god\dess u just birthed up lol it’s so much easier ugh’ (116) w h a t t h e f u c k 

- fact: harley is adorable no citation needed

- also you’re telling me chiron, basically as old as time itself tbh, doesn’t speak portuguese? k (120)

- “i am merely assessing how well paolo’s arms are functioning after surgery” (120) those are some big words william u nervous or something??

- “hmph” - nico di angelo, 2016 (120) 

- this isn’t really important but there’s a satyr named herbert and he’s my new favorite character sorry i dont make the rules (124)

- ok so there’s an unnamed random camper who mutters in Italian (127) and now i’ve got the BIGGEST headcanon that this random girl and Nico (omg maybe a few others????) meet a few times a month just to rant to each other in Italian so none of them get sloppy with the language and u g h im such a bitch for nico di angelo frienships

- “A boy in the crowd gasped, ‘she’s a communist!’” (127) i fucking hate this book omfg

i’ll do more later in order to mentally prepare myself for the dark prophecy but it’s 3 am and im tired  

2

Mind Reader

Characters: Dean x Reader

Warnings: angst adjacent, smut, dirty talk, LOTS of language

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: I was looking through some REALLY old requests and I came across an idea from @jennalyncarrigan1230 from who knows how long ago. She pitched an idea that I have twisted and LOVE the outcome. I doubt she even remembers sending the ask, but her initial idea sparked this smutty goodness. This took on a life of its own. I haven’t wrote Dean smut or ANY smut in quite some time. This is officially DIRTY. Or at least by my standards it is. Hope you enjoy. ;) Italics & Bold indicate reader’s thoughts.  This has very little plot. Just the poor reader thinking her secret dirty thoughts about Dean only to have them be not so secret anymore.

Feedback Appreciated

Tags at the bottom

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The Club (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Smut with a dash of fluff.
Word count: 3.6k 

Part one: Kitchen Counter, Part two: Laundry Room.

» Song: Love In This Club part II

Summary: ”Or we can just do it here.“ He hummed, his fingers immediately latching onto his belt and working as quickly as ever to get it loose. “Jeon Jungkook,” You quietly scolded with a laugh, placing a hand over his and looked around. “People can see you.” Once you looked back down at him, he shook his head slowly, “It doesn’t matter, baby,” He reasoned, his tongue flickering over his lips. “Everyone’s wasted, I promise. I just…I want you so bad.” 


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4

YOI Future!Verse ABO AU, Visual Headcanon Web Charts #01

So I always wanted to make one of these. Turns out my headcanons for the most part are WAY too wordy for these things and uh, they’re a bit of a mess >.>;; BUT I hope nonetheless that they’re somewhat fun to read even if barely legible, it was fun to make ^ ^;

1. Super basic relationship chart of the core members of the lovely poly family in this AU.

2. “Adults Think,” the color of each adult indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

3. “Kids Think,” the color of each OC kid indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

There’s obviously a lot more to it than what could be crammed in the lil text boxes, but a gist and pretty much the first things that immediately popped into my mind regarding their interactions. 2 and 3 also mostly show their thoughts while the kids are younger, which will change a bit as they grow up, to be covered in a future post.

*Recommended you right click view image to see full size bc the text is tiny oops

Because the text is so illegible, text only versions of charts 2 and 3 beneath cut, all elaborated quite a bit because I’m so rambly oops:

~~

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s Yuuri-centric polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri’s married to four mates (Victor, Yurio, Phichit, Minami) and they have OC kids.

BASICS of this AU

INTRO to how ABO works in this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.

~~

Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

~~

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love letters ❥ peter parker

summary : peter, hopeless romantic that he is, has a cache of love letters, all addressed to you, hidden under his bed and expertly crafted. he never anticipated them being read, or the feelings he has for you being returned.

word count : 3.1k (holy fucking hell i’m sorry)

   Peter couldn’t help it, the way that he was. He was a romantic at a heart, though the awkwardness of him had a tendency to prevail rather than the confident, smooth talking, small part of him that had a desperate desire to reveal itself. Spider-man was as suave as a fifteen year old boy could be; Peter Parker was awkward, inept at participating in normal, human conversation and often incapable of forming coherent sentences more often than not. He wasn’t the best at talking to people besides Ned and Aunt May and- on occasion- Tony Stark. Especially not you. If there was one person that he turned into an absolute bumbling, ridiculous mess around, it was you. He loathed himself for it, sure that you thought that he was weird, annoying, the same way that anyone who didn’t know him assumed he was. 

   Ned, however, continuously insisted that you found Peter to be a sweetheart, like anyone who got to know him well enough did, and that you liked him very much- perhaps more than a friend, though Peter had immediately scoffed at the notion. It was out of the question, downright ludicrous. But, of course, Ned had implanted the idea in Peter’s head, and now the boy’s ever creative mind refused to stop constructing various scenarios in which you were Peter’s girlfriend and he was as happy as he had ever been. 

    While he had been a perfectly charming boyfriend in each and every one of those little dream sequences of his, he was hopelessly lost for words whenever you approached him, unable to even ask what class you had next, let alone reveal the pure adoration he had been holding on to ever since you had been placed beside him in Bio in your freshman year. You had always been the one to stick up for him and smile at him and treat him like a decent human being, and so of course he fell for you, and now he could barely look you in the eye without his cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. So, he bottled his feelings and let them out in a way he had never known could help him.

    He wrote. 

    He wrote to you every single day and poured his heart out in every single letter and expressed every thought he knew, in his heart, he would never be able to say out loud. Writing what he felt was so much simpler than saying the words out loud. That was what he assumed, anyhow. He took his pen and placed it down on the paper, starting it the same way he always did. 

   Dear Y/N… As always, the words spilled over from his mind to the paper as if he wasn’t thinking, just writing and writing and writing until he had filled two pages without lifting his curly head from the paper once. When he finally finished, a yawn stretching across his mouth, he noticed Aunt May standing outside his door. He turned his chair around, raising his eyebrows at her. 

   “Writing to that pretty girl again?” She asked, hand on her hip but wearing a knowing, soft grin. Peter, not bothering to feign shock, nodded solemnly and placed his pen down the paper. “You should think about maybe, oh I don’t know, actually giving her one of the letters you’ve written?” 

    Adamantly, Peter shook his head. “May, I could never. You don’t get it.” He swiveled around in the chair, spinning it until he was dizzy. “These letters are embarrassing. They’re practically my whole heart and soul on a piece of paper. She’d scream and run away if she read how I felt about her.” He sighed, placing his elbow on the edge of the desk and resting his cheek in his hand. He stared up at his aunt, still craving her sage advice. May stared back at him thoughtfully. 

   “Well, in my personal experience,” she came over and gave Peter’s shoulder a squeeze, eyeing the letter that was signed with Peter’s name, “girls are suckers for love letters. And you Parker men write the best ones out there. Trust me.” 

   Peter bit his lip. “Yeah, sure, I’m not an awful writer. But, I still can’t give them to her. I just can’t.” Before she could say anything else, he was folding it up and placing it on top of the shelf on his desk next to his books for English. “Uncle Ben was different. He was charming. You know that.” 

    May smiled wistfully. “I do.” 

    “And that’s one thing that I didn’t get from him,” Peter finished, shrugging his shoulders as he stood up from his swivel chair. “It’s fine.” He waved it off. “I’m happy suffering in silence. I’m gonna go to bed. Big English project starts tomorrow. Love you,” he kissed May on the cheek as she left his bedroom, switching the light off in her departure. He stared at the wall once he was situated in bed, mulling the conversation over in his head. Maybe May’s right. Maybe telling Y/N wouldn’t be as bad as I’m thinking. Maybe I’m overreacting. Actually, never mind. She probably hates me. Ugh. Life sucks. 


    That morning, when he arrived in his English class, you were sitting in the seat that had been previously occupied by Ned pretty much every class since the beginning of the school year. Sucking in a breath, Peter took his first step into the classroom. He knew he was a little late to today’s lesson, but he hadn’t realized he was a full fifteen minutes behind schedule. Ned was in the back with Michelle, giving Peter an encouraging thumbs up when he noticed his best friend finally arrive on the scene. Peter gave him the finger. 

   “Mr. Parker, lovely for you to join us!” Ms. Matthews declared when he decided to shove himself through the door, his heart jackhammering away in his chest and making its way up to his throat. He kind of wanted to throw up. 

   “Um, yeah, well, you know, sleep and whatnot- overslept, haha,” he coughed out a laugh, scratching the back of his neck. The teacher nodded with faux sympathy, though he could tell she didn’t care that much for his explanation. “I’ll just, um, sit. Down.” 

    “Next to Y/N, please,” She instructed, waving her hand in your direction. “Since you were late and unable to choose your own partner, surprising since usually Ned is so eager to work with you, Y/N offered to be your partner.” The teacher gave you a fond smile, as every teacher did. “She can explain the details of the assignment.” 

    Peter gave her a stiff nod before sliding into his chair, and you noticed how rigid he was as he turned toward you with a slight frown. He seemed extremely upset to be working with you, but you wouldn’t let that get in the way. You liked Peter. Really, truly liked him. He was a sweetie whenever he actually talked to and different than the rest of the guys at Midtown. He was genuine.  

    Giving him your full attention, you beamed at him. “Hey, Peter,” you said cheerfully. He gave you a small smile in return, wringing his hands under the desk. He couldn’t stop fidgeting. Your own smile dropped, which he noticed immediately and felt awful about. “Sorry you didn’t get paired up with Ned,” you continued, taking your books out of your shoulder bag. “I know you would’ve preferred it that way-” 

    “No!” He interrupted quickly, practically slamming his hands down on the desk so hard you jumped in your seat, eyes wide. “Sorry, sorry, I just, um,” he laughed a little, his cheeks burning, “I’m, um, happy to have you as a partner. Really, I am,” he added as an afterthought, just to make sure you knew. 

   Your shoulders relaxed as you looked at him. “You’re not just saying that, right? You seem awfully stiff,” you teased, poking his uncomfortably positioned arm as you quirked a brow. 

    “Do I?” He was practically sweating. 

     “I was just joking, Pete. It’s cute, anyway.” Peter’s eyes, a shade of brown that you had come to think of as warm as honey, went wide and he gaped at you, but you pretended not to notice. “So, for the assignment we have to write a short story based on one of the assigned reading books this year.” 

   She called me cute

   “Shit… I think I forgot all of mine,” you were mumbling, your head practically stuck in your bag. “Did your bring yours, Peter?” 

   Oh my god, she thinks I’m cute. She thinks I’m cute. I’m going to faint

   You snapped your fingers in front of his cherry red face, trying not to appear as amused as you felt. He blinked owlishly, an apologetic half smile, half grimace on his face. He was cute most of the time, but especially when he smiled, even if it was only a forced, awkward one. “Do you have your books, Peter?” You repeated kindly. 

    “Um, sorry, I’ll check,” he answered, embarrassed about his utterly obvious staring that had just occurred. He rummaged around in his backpack before realizing he had forgotten them, as well. He popped back up, curls in disarray as his head brushed against the fabric of his bag. “I forgot them, sorry,” he ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. It was kind of adorable.

   “You need to stop apologizing for everything, Pete,” you laughed. “It’s fine. We can get started after school. My place or yours?” You were already packing your things, and before he could think about what he was about to do, he said, “Mine.”   

    “Cool,” you grinned again, a grin that made him want to smile for the rest of his life. “Which one of is doing the writing? Or do you want to split it?” 

    “You’re a, um, fantastic writer,” he told you, having read your submissions to the school newspaper more times than he could count. “If you wanna take over, you can. I can edit and stuff.” 

    “Aw, I’m not that good,” you shook your head abashedly, looking down at your lap. “But thank you, Peter. I’m sure you’re great, too, though. Are you sure you don’t wanna write some of it?”

    “I’m not much of a writer.”


    So, you were in Peter Parker’s room. He was having his third heart attack of the day, and was incredibly grateful that he had managed to keep his wits about him for majority of the day. He had only tripped over his words five times, tripped literally twice, and dropped his Metro card once, but it was fine. You helped him back each time he fell with your usual grace, barely acknowledging his multiple social faux pas and only laughing once because he fell over a small dog- which even he would admit was pretty funny. 

   Still, his palms were sweaty around you and he didn’t know how he was going to survive working so close to you for the next week while the English assignment was occurring. He lead you into his apartment and you noticed that his hands were shaking slightly as he twisted the keys in the lock. You walked into the apartment, the first thing crossing your mind was how cozy and homelike it was. You liked it very much. 

   “It’s really cute in here,” you said, smiling around the room as Peter busied himself with a glass of water. He downed it quickly. “Where’s your aunt?” 

   “Work,” he replied, catching his breath after the gulping down of his water. “Here, let’s go to my room.” He placed his glass of water on the counter and motioned for you to follow him, opening the door to his room and wincing at the mess in there. “It’s a mess, sorry about that.”  

   You rolled your eyes at him playfully. “Didn’t I say stop apologizing?” You entered his room as if you had been there many times before, taking your shoes off and setting them by the door. You threw your bag on his bed and took a seat in his swivel chair, and he liked how natural it seemed for you to be in his room. He liked how comfortable you were, sitting there. Something about it made him happy. 

   “Yeah, my bad,” he shrugged. You tilted your head, pointing your finger at him while he raised his hands defensively. “It wasn’t technically an apology!” He took a step out of the room. He was finally being normal around you, he realized delightedly. He would still need more water, though. He could feel his mouth getting dry. “I’m gonna get more water. Want anything?” You shook your head, spinning around in the chair as he left. 

   Your eyes scanned over his desk, taking in every inch of Peter Parker’s life. He had bad books stacked everywhere, his desk was a mess, there were clothes thrown about the room. Star Wars posters, Avengers posters, notes scattered across the desk. You admired the artful messiness of it all. You leaned up to where his English books were, spotting the one you were most interested in and yanking it off the shelf. As you did, a folded piece of paper fluttered down off the shelf, just when Peter was walking back into the room. 

   “I thought you said you weren’t a writer, Pete,” you raised your eyebrows at him, holding the letter in your hand and waving it at him. 

   He almost threw up right there. “Um, I’m not, please give that back,” he reached for it, but you jumped out of the chair, raising the letter high in the air. “Y/N!” He whined, grabbing for it again. “C’mon, please,” he pleaded desperately, pouting at you with such intensity it almost made you want to give it to him. 

    “Can’t I just read a sentence, Peter?” You pushed out your bottom lip, batting your eyelashes at him. 

     He almost gave in. “No, Y/N. Seriously, give it back.” He sounded scared now, upset as well. You pursed your lips, handing it back to him. He was so anxious about you reading it that it dropped on the floor, opening far enough so that you could see your name scrawled across the top in Peter’s defining chicken scratch handwriting. 

    “That says my name, so now I have to read it.” You stood directly in front of Peter, hands pressed together in a pleading motion, the expression on your face so genuinely interested that he had to give it to you. He picked it back up with a lump in his throat and handed it over, scared as ever. But this was what May had advised. Maybe she’d be right. 

    “Dear Y/N,” you read aloud in a loud, terrible accent, glancing back up at Peter as you read the line after that. He was staring down at the floor, preparing himself for what you were going to say when you read the letter, read his heart. You sat in his chair, realizing it’d be better if you didn’t read it so publicly. He sat down on his bed, waiting. 

   Dear Y/N. This is maybe the tenth letter I’ve written to you, and each time I say the same thing, so if one day you are reading this in proper succession, I’m sorry for being so utterly repetitive. You’ll probably never read this, though. And that’s why it’s so easy for me to write. I think you’re the only person to ever truly be interested in me when I’m talking about science. Not even Ned has an attention span that long. But you do. And you don’t know how much I want to thank you for that. You make it really difficult to not like you, to not be in love with you. I think that’s what it is… love. And if I’m not in love with you yet, then I’m certainly falling for you. Who wouldn’t? You’re a wonderful person without trying, you’re a beautiful hurricane, a sunset on the horizon of my bleakest hours, and you make me feel as if I’ve been standing in the sunshine for my entire life. 

   You put the letter down, smoothing it over your lap. You didn’t need to read the rest. That was enough. Peter gazed at you now, the way you’ve yearned to be looked at before, and you shamed yourself for being so blind these past two years. He wasn’t simply just staring. He was looking. Admiring. You slid next to Peter, placing the letter behind you. He moved his hand, curling his fingers around yours tentative as ever. Your free hand grazed up the side of his face, toying with the hair on the back of his neck before resting on his cheek. He shut his eyes. When he opened them again, you were so close that he was able to count each individual eyelash that you had, every single fleck of pure beauty in your deep eyes. 

   “I like you very much, Peter Parker,” you murmured. He felt his heart soar, and then, he felt himself kiss you. It was an out of body experience. He was there, he was the one kissing you, the one who had initiated it, but it felt like he wasn’t. He was up in the clouds, too far lost in the way it felt to run his hands through your hair as he had always dreamed of to notice Aunt May sneaking past the door, overjoyed to see Peter finally with the girl he had been loving in silence for far too long. You pulled away from each other, eyes opening slowly and hesitantly and your lips practically still connected. 

   He wanted to tell her that he adored her, but Aunt May’s voice flowed from the kitchen too loud to overpower his thoughts. “You read her the letter, didn’t you? I told you it’d work! Worked for your Uncle Ben and I was right as I always am!”

   He jumped up from the bed, sticking his head out of the doorway and pressing his finger to his lips. “Maaaayyyy, you’re embarrassing me,” he whispered-yelled, practically whined. “You were right, okay? Thank you, let me go get a girlfriend now. The girlfriend.” She beamed at him, but no one’s smile could shine brighter than Peter’s. 

    He retreated back into the room, and you were clutching the letter in your hands. You looked up at him hopefully. “I was thinking that maybe you could read me the other nine letters. If you’re up for it.” 

    Peter couldn’t possibly say no, taking a page out of his Uncle Ben’s book the way he should have done in the first place as he found the hiding spot for the stack of letters he had been writing for the past few months, sliding them over to you and feeling confident for the first time in a long time.

Dean Thinks You’re Hot

Title: Dean Thinks You’re Hot

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 2,122

Anon Request: you think you could write one where the reader feels insecure about her stretch marks/size and Jensen is her best friend and tries to help her feel better?

Warnings: Negative Thoughts, Low Self-Esteem, Fluff, Implied Smut

A/N: Feedback is always appreciated, friends! xoxox

x

Your name: submit What is this?


    Pacing back and forth around your trailer almost drove you dizzy. Back and forth. Back and forth; as if that was going to simultaneously solve all of your problems. It wasn’t. Not even close.

    You had just gotten the memo that your intimate scene with Jensen was moved to today, not that you weren’t sweating buckets the second you got the script, but the fact that the scene was moved to today instead of five days from now had you ripping your hair from your head. You were going to be very exposed to him, and no matter how long the two of you had been friends, this was something you weren’t comfortable with on so many levels.

Keep reading

“Baby Stark”

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Summary: After returning to New York, Tony is greeted with surprising news that has potential to change his life.

A/N: another one from draft-purgatory. lol i’ve never written for tony stark, and i i struggle to capture his swaggering tone. however, but i thought it would be fun to write for a slightly softer tony stark.

His elbows resting on the metal railing surrounding the large helicopter landing pad, Tony Stark skims his eyes over the beautiful aerial view of Manhattan. A relaxed smile perks onto his lips as the familiar clamor of the concrete jungle sinks in. “It’s good to be back,” he hums to himself, taking in the majestic view carved around the Avengers Tower.

After rapping his knuckles against the metal railing, Tony saunters down the glass walkway leading into the tower, the eery silence reminding him that everyone is on a mission. He’s about to greet F.R.I.D.A.Y. when a smile enters his view, one that he isn’t expecting.

She sits on the counter of the bar, her legs elegantly crossed despite the restrictive nature of her pencil skirt. The sunlight streams into the room through the glass windows, creating a natural glow about her. A coy smile perks onto her lips as Tony’s drinks her in, his lower lip getting caught between his teeth as his eyes dance up her legs and body. She’s the most alluring girl he’d ever seen -he’d thought so two years ago when they first met, and he still thinks so now- and it’s one of the many reasons why he’s infatuated with her.

“I thought I told you not to wait for me,” He grins, glad that she ignored his request.

“I couldn’t wait until dinner, and I wanted to be here when you arrived. Is that such a crime?” (Y/N) hops off the counter and saunters towards him. She cups his cheek in a way that makes Tony feel like he’s the only person in the world.

“Well, counselor, I recommend -” His words are cut off as (Y/N) yanks the lapels of his jacket to bring his face towards her for a kiss. Tony laughs against her lips, but the laugh quickly gets drowned out by a rough growl as she lightly bites his lower lip. A smile creeps in around the edges of her kiss as she slides her hands down his muscular back. A nip of teeth, a glide of tongue, and she easily has him under her spell.

It’s only a matter of time when the need for oxygen brings the kiss to an end. Tony gently knocks his forehead against (Y/N)’s. “Remind me to always bring up a counterargument, because baby, I could get used to that,” he drawls.

(Y/N) laughs, a devilish glint lighting up her eyes. “Welcome back to New York, Mr. Stark. It’s been a while.” Her hand dangerously inch south as she brings his ear to her lips. “That was a little preview of what’s going to happen tonight.”

He feigns exasperation as (Y/N) playfully smacks his ass but twirls out of his arms before he can do anything. A low noise escapes his throat as she shoots him a sexy smile over her shoulder while kicking off her “ball-busting stilettos”, as she calls them.

Tony leans against the wall and watches (Y/N)’s shadow dance in the glow of the sun. Two years into the relationship, and he still gets butterflies. His fun, beautiful girlfriend, the skyline of the most magical city in America, wonderful weather - his life is perfect and Tony wishes it would stay this way for a long time.

“As much as I love pencil skirts, I need to change,” (Y/N) announces. “I have workout pants in my bag, but could I borrow a shirt or sweater?”

“Baby, at this point, you’ve stolen over half of my comfortable clothes. Why do you even bother asking?”

(Y/N) smirks and plants a kiss on his cheek before sashaying towards the door of Tony’s private apartment. Before she opens the door, she turns to him. “T, I have something to tell you.“

"Mmhmm,” Tony hums, pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“I probably should have told you, but I was kind of scared of how you would react. I thought it would be wise to tell you when you were back in New York.” She hesitates for a bit, her fingertips drumming against the doorframe. “Promise not to freak?” she asks, a slightly icy look glazing her eyes.

A small alarm rings in his head, but Tony maintains a calm expression. “I promise. Did you max out my credit card?” he jokes.

(Y/N) rolls her eyes but relaxes a bit, which pleases Tony. “No, and I never will.”

“My wallet thanks you, baby. But what’s up?”

“Tony.” She swallows. “How do you feel about becoming a dad?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

"You dont want me" ladynoir

Ladybug sat at the top of the Eiffel Tower, her head in her hands, wondering how she could have possibly screwed things up SO badly. 

She heard the light footfall of her partner landing behind her. She couldn’t say she was surprised, he had never been one to leave her to stew in her own misery. 

“So…” he drawled, coming and sitting beside her, “that was an interesting broadcast today.” 

“It was a disaster,” she moaned, still not looking up at him, “I should just throw myself off this tower and put myself out of my misery.” 

“Oh come on, it’s not as bad as all that,” Chat said, patting her awkwardly on the back. 

She turned and glared at him. “It was a live stream, Chat! LIVE! It’s out there. Right now!” 

“True,” he conceded, nodding his head, “but it’s not like you said anything horrible. It was kinda cute actually.” 

“You don’t understand,” she moaned, slumping over so until she was curled up in his lap, “I’ve ruined everything! What sort of an idiot starts babbling about their crush on a live broadcast.” 

“Well, apparently you,” Chat said with a light laugh, cautiously reaching forward to play with the ends of her hair, “and about half of the rest of the known world. It could be a lot worse buginette.” 

“Do you think there is a chance he didn’t see it?” she asked hopefully, looking up at her partner’s thoughtful expression. 

He gave her a pitying smile. “I think you’re pretty much out of luck their bugaboo. You already have a ship name and everything. It’s trending on twitter.” 

“Ugh, that’s terrible,” she groaned, curling up tighter and burying her face against his leg. 

“I don’t know,” Chat teased, “I thought Ladrien had kind of a nice ring to it.” 

“This can’t be happening,” she moaned. 

“Hey, come on. What’s this really about? Is it really going to be so awful for the guy to know you like him? He might be flattered.” 

“It’s not that,” Ladybug said softly, “I mean, it’s MORE than that. I haven’t even told him I liked him- as myself, my not Ladybug self I mean. And now… let’s say he does feel flattered? That just means I have made myself my own competition! And it’s not like I can just go up to him and be like: Hey, by the way I’m Ladybug and, as you already know, I’m totally in love with you! Want to date me now?” 

“Oh god,” Chat said with a sudden sense of horror, “there are going to be so many desperate fangirls trying to do that.” 

“I didn’t even think about that! If he didn’t before he’s definitely going to hate me now. I might be the only person in the world who can simultaneously confess to her crush and make it harder for him to notice me!”  

“You really are one of a kind there bugaboo,” Chat said giving her another reassuring pat on the shoulder. 

“And what if this puts him in danger? I mean I might as well have stamped a butterfly tattoo across his back saying property of Ladybug, please exchange for one miraculous!” 

“Please don’t do that. I am told that models need to be very particular about what they put on their skin.” 

“It’s not funny. What if I honestly made him a target?”

“Hey,” Chat said “I promise you, if anything happens I will be the first person on the scene.” 

“Thanks,” she said gratefully, reaching up and catching his hand in her own.

“So, you’re in love with the model boy,” Chat said softly, rubbing his thumb absently against the back of her hand, “gotta say I didn’t see that one coming.” 
“Yeah well, it’s not like it really matters anymore,” she sighed, “it’s not like it would ever happen.” 

He scoffed at her, rolling his eyes theatrically to show his clear contempt for her pessimism. “So tell me My Lady,” he asked shifting slightly so that he could look down at her with a playful smile, “what is it that you see in this guy anyways?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

“You don’t want me, so clearly you aren’t after the guy for his looks,” Chat said wiggling his eyebrows flirtatiously. 

“No,” Ladybug laughed, “although they don’t hurt.” 

“Why My Lady, was that you finally admitting that you find me attractive?” 

“You’ve always been attractive and you know it,” she said reaching up and flicking his bell. “As you can see I’ve just had my attentions elsewhere.” 

“Oh so this is a long standing attachment then? How long have you been dreaming of being M’Lady Agreste?” he teased poking her lightly on the nose. 

“Almost from the first day I met him. It will be two years next week,” she said softly. 

“The start of school,” Chat murmured, “you know him then?” 

“yeah,” she admitted reaching blindly around to catch his other hand and pull him to her like a security blanket. “We were in the same class in college and we still have a few classes together now. Plus our friends are dating so we hang out a lot.” 

“You two are close then,” Chat said a little breathlessly, “that… well that certainly clears things up.” 
“Yeah,” Ladybug said, “it’s not just some creepy celebrity crush. I mean, it kind of was that too. I have like 2 dozen photos of him plastered on my wall that I used to practice talking to because for the longest time I could barely string a sentence together around him, it was kind of embarrassing. I got over it eventually, but by that point I didn’t really have the heart to take the pictures down.” 

Chat gave her a warm smile. “I can see it now, you stuttering and tripping and shooting the poor confused boy adorable awkward smiles before running off in the opposite direction.” 

“Shut up,” Ladybug said but she couldn’t help grinning at her partners soft tone and fond smile. “I got better.” 

“I know.” He raised one of her hands to his lips and gave her a delicate kiss. “So you still haven’t told me what you see in this guy,” he challenged, “If I am getting demoted to your rebound choice I deserve to know what I am up against,” he said slyly. 

“He’s kind,” Ladybug smiled, filling with warmth as she thought about her love. “He always wants to see the best in people,and he… he is just good, you know? The kind of goodness that doesn’t come from ignorance or being sheltered, but that has seen pain and and heartache and loss and yet still chooses to be good. 

“That is high praise indeed My Lady.” 

“You aren’t going to make fun of me for this?” 

“No My Lady. If anything I am going to love you more for it.” 

She gave him another grateful smile before sitting up. The sun had begun to set and she knew she should be getting home. She probably had a dozen of so missed calls from Alya waiting for her. 

“Well who knows,” she said attempting to be flippant. “Maybe he’ll finally just reject me and I will change my mind about you Kitty.” 

“Wouldn’t that be a twist,” Chat laughed climbing to his feet and offering her his hand to help her up as well. 

“It would probably be for the best,” she sighed. “It’s not like we can be together. Not with Hawkmoth still on the loose. There is too much at stake. And I don’t know if I could bear having to hide my identity in a relationship.” 

Chat grinned again. “You are very wise My Lady.” 

“Mostly I am just telling myself that so I can feel better,” she admitted and was rewarded with a loud melodious laugh. 

“You know,” he said, eyes twinkling “you are probably right. Clandestine meetings, midnight makeout sessions, it’s probably better to hold out for the real thing.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Besides, I hate to break it to you My Lady but I have a sinking feeling that #Ladrien is not to be.” 

“And why is that Kitty?” 

“Well,” Chat said looking out at the sunset, “not to be the bearer of bad news but I have it on very good authority that your lover is very much spoken for.” 

“oh?” Ladybug said trying not to let her disappointment show. 

“Yes, completely and hopelessly in love. Someone at his school in fact.” 

“And who is this mystery girl?” she asked. 

“It’s right on the tip of my tongue,” Chat said his eyes glittering with something she couldn’t quite name, “it will come to me. I’ll have to tell you next time I see you.” 

“Well thanks for the heads up,” she said leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek, “and thanks for cheering me up.” 

“Always My Lady. I should probably get heading home myself.” he pulled out his staff and and extended it. 

“Oh,” he said, shooting her a final grin as prepared to depart, “I do remember one thing.”
“And what’s that?” 

“The mystery girl, I knew there was something about her that I found particularly delectable.” 

“And what is that?” 

“Her parent’s own a bakery.”  

Music Man

Bucky x Reader

Surprise, surprise! You open your big mouth to Tony Stark, and it gets around about your crush on a certain metal armed soldier. What happens when he finds out about it, and what will he do to get your attention?

Warnings: FLUFF. FLUUUUUUUUUFF.

Word Count: ~2200

A/N: Holy shit a writing?! YES. For @avengerofyourheart ‘s birthday! Happy birthday love, I’m sorry it’s late but I hope you love it nonetheless!!

Originally posted by natymms

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


   You sat in the kitchen, idly spinning your spoon with your finger in your coffee cup; your eyes focused on something else besides your breakfast in front of you. It was while he wasn’t looking (as always), but you just simply couldn’t help yourself.

   Bucky Barnes, in general, was a gorgeous man. Taunt muscle just teasing outlines underneath a tight t-shirt, a new black vibranium arm that had your mind wandering on how he would know how to use the damn thing; his hair pulled back in a bun to keep it off his neck from his run with Steve. Those eyes? Ugh, the blue killed you every time, making you weak in the knees. Of course, as soon as the man turned around from what he was doing, you’d quickly look down at your food like it was the most interesting thing in the world; only praying he hadn’t caught you ogling his assets.

Keep reading

Ice cream

Draco grunted as he fumbled with the collar of his dress shirt. His face was contorted in distaste as he felt little beads of sweat running down his neck. Ugh, disgusting! Potter had already pointed out that it was far too hot outside to be wearing a dress shirt, but Draco refused to wear the kind of sordid clothes Potter seemed to love so much. It suited him, of course, but Draco had a reputation to uphold.

That was a bit of a stupid reason, even Draco had to admit it, seeing as they were out and about in Muggle London, but Draco, unlike Potter, had class.

Them being friends was still very new to him and definitely needed some getting used to. Potter seemed already comfortable around Draco, always blabbering on about this and that, bumping Draco’s arm with his elbow, grinning at him mischievously…

Blaise had remarked that it very much seemed like he and Potter were dating, but that was just ridiculous. They had just met for coffee a few times, had gone to the movies (Potter’s idea of course and Draco was still a bit traumatised) and had gone for a few walks, like now. Yes, Draco had been a little surprised earlier when Potter had asked him if he wanted to come back to his place later for dinner, but that wasn’t out of the ordinary, was it? Friends did that… right?

As they continued walking down the street, Draco peered sideways and saw that Potter’s face was rather flushed and there were little beads of sweat running down his neck, too.

“Maybe we should have stayed inside today,” Potter wheezed. “I honestly don’t understand how you haven’t fainted yet.” He gazed at Draco’s shirt and his cloth trousers in discomfort.

“Well,” Draco began, eyeing Potter’s burgundy T-shirt and his short trouser, which reached to his knees, “I was taught elegance is a virtue, as well as endurance. Clearly, a concept which seems to be lost on you.” He let his eyes wander over Potter’s body and gave him an appraising look when their eyes met again. Potter seemed to stifle a giggle.

“What?” Draco snapped.

“Endurance,” Potter snorted. “Alright then.” He flashed Draco a toothy grin. Draco had no idea what was so funny about that, but didn’t get the chance to ask. Potter’s eyes had focused on something on the other side of the street. Draco turned around, but had no idea what had caught Potter’s attention.

“Wait here,” Potter told him and and sprinted off. Draco crossed his arms over his chest, huffing. What was Potter up to? And how dare he make Draco wait alone in the middle of the street like this?

Draco tapped his foot impatiently as the minutes passed by. When Potter finally came into view again, Draco saw that he was holding… two ice lollies?

“Here,” Potter said enthusiastically, holding one out to Draco. He gave it a quick glance and made a face.

“No thank you,” he grunted.

“What? Why?”

“I don’t like ice cream,” Draco shrugged. Potter’s eyes widened at that.

“What? How can you not like ice cream?” He sounded genuinely baffled.

“I just don’t.”

Potter kept staring at him, the incomprehension at Draco’s revelation clearly visible on his face.

“You’re dripping,” Draco noted with a raised eyebrow.

“What? Oh!” Only now did Potter seem to notice that the ice lollies were melting quickly, dripping all over his hands. He lifted one hand to his mouth and dragged his tongue over his knuckles slowly. Mesmerised, Draco watched as Potter did the same thing to his other hand.

“You sure you don’t want it?” Potter asked, oblivious to Draco’s sudden inner turmoil. Not trusting his voice at this moment, he just waved a dismissive hand in the air. Potter shrugged and lifted one of the ice lollies to his mouth.

Sweet Merlin!

Draco almost choked as Potter’s lips closed around the ice lollie. He pushed it deeper into his mouth and started sucking. Draco had to control himself not to clutch his chest in surprise. He winced when Potter made a slurping noise.

“You know,”  Potter said happily, “I had my first ice lolly when I was ten years old. I really like them.”

Draco had trouble concentrating on what Potter was saying, but still, a frown formed on his face.

“You hadn’t had ice cream before that?”

Potter shook his head and looked at the two ice lollies in his hands. They were both dripping like mad. He lifted one to his mouth again and licked it, painfully slow, from the bottom up, before sticking it in his mouth again. This time, he twirled it around, before releasing it again with a little ‘pop’.

Draco was sure he was about to faint. The heat wasn’t exactly helping, either.

“Potter,” he spluttered. He stepped forward and gazed at his mouth intently. “Ugh, you really are an imbecile, aren’t you?”

Potter’s mouth and his chin were smeared with the remnants of the ice lolly. Draco reached out and stroked the corner of Potter’s mouth with his thumb. He saw Potter’s adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

“It’s sticky,” Draco muttered. He wasn’t really aware that he was leaning down, until his tongue made contact with Potter’s skin. Surprised by his own boldness, he quickly stepped back.

“I don’t know why I did that.”

Potter was flushed and he looked like he was trying to decide something.

“Sod that,” he suddenly muttered and let go of the two ice lollies. Before they hit the ground, Potter had his arms around Draco’s neck and their lips pressed together. Draco made a startled sound when Potter’s tongue pushed into his mouth. He tasted like artificial oranges. Yuck! But the things Potter apparently could do with that tongue…

“Let’s go back to my place,” Potter panted after a few moments. “Oh, but first, let me go back to that store real quick.”

Draco frowned.

“Why?”

“Because,” Potter said with one of his mischievous grins, “I want more ice cream.” He dropped his voice to a low, seductive whisper. “I want creamy, rich chocolate ice cream.” Draco shuddered at the way Potter was looking at him. “And I plan to lick it off your chest and out of your navel.”

This time, Draco really did choke. He recovered rather quickly, however, and grabbed Potter’s hand.

“Merlin, what are we waiting for?”

Tuesday Recommendations

The fics listed below can be old or fairly new, so this has no timeline. Neither an order of preference. It’s just a bunch of stories I loved and I’d like to share with you.
*The NSFW fics are tagged as such - 18+ only!
**You can expect some swearing in my personal notes.


Steve Rogers

  • Little Monster (W.I.P.): Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 by @hellomissmabel - {NSFW} - Annie, you’re incredible! You had to be the first in the list because you already know how much I FREAKING LOVE this series! The amount of work put in this series is impressive and the characterization is seriously interesting. The plot is so well-thought-out. Everything happens here: fantasies, suspense, intensity and you can only have tons of questions at the end of each chapter because the rhythm changes and gets even better! It’s incredible and you can’t predict the future of the characters which is the best thing ever!
  • Super dominant, super possessive Super Soldier by @chrisevans-imagines - {NSFW} - I’m such a slut for Dom!Steve… oops. Ava, you’re torturing me with that hot build-up, that damn sexual tension and that perfect dirty talk and that little perfect heated promise at the end. You got me going and once again, the tingles were so incredible that I had to take a little break and go back to read the end. Stunning!

  • Not a One Time Thing by @literallyanyfxndom - {NSFW} - Actually, I really enjoyed this one because of the plot and the build-up: it’s fresh and the chemistry is what I love the most with Steve being a real sweetheart. The rest of the Avengers playing the matchmakers is my new favorite thing!

  • Late by @VindictiveGrace on AO3 - {NSFW} - For a first time writing a Reader insert fic… this was incredible! So sexy and I love the writing style, it’s so light and sometimes funny. Steve was amazing, not OOC at all and I even liked the fact he just wants his girlfriend to relax, no matter the consequences. I especially loved the edging part of the story.

  • Stop Lying by @avengersimaginings - {NSFW} - Can we discuss the fact that Reader being a villain is actually very good to read/write and it should become more important in our fandom. Thank you for writing this gorgeous piece of hot fic. It was amazing to read more of hot-blooded and “dark” Steve.

  • The Engineering Lab by @angryschnauzer - {NSFW} - Let me tell you something… you ruined my panties, girl! This sexual tension between Steve and Reader is almost too much to handle. Your writing is on point and as much as I’m not into anal, this piece of art was amazing and so hot! The stealth suit of sin (as I call it) and the handcuffs: holy fucking shit! That was wonderful.

  • Caught in the Act by @angryschnauzer - {NSFW} - Stop everything and lock yourself in your bedroom because that thing is just so, so good and so intense! I’m just a big fan of the balance between surprise, sexy and funny. The ending was brilliant!

  • Civvies by @after-avenging-hours - {NSFW} - Hot damn. I can’t even tell you how much I love this one because there’s almost everything I love about Steve. This is some amazing fic written with an incredible talent. It was intense and so were the tingles! If you need more conviction: Steve wearing jeans hugging that pretty little as of his.


Chris Evans

  • Just Friends: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5A / Part 5B by @ohevansmycaptain - The plot in this new mini-series is honestly very good and you’ll either disagree with Sebastian Stan temporarily or you’ll be an extreme Chris x Reader shipper. Fluff and humor, as ever, the best mix of all. The chemistry between Chris and his friend is so well-developed and the jokes are awesome. Tender, soft, flirty and funny. Definitely Chris! I LOVED IT!
  • Fix Up by @chrisevans-imagines - {NSFWish} - Ava! You know you’re killing me, don’t you? You know this could happen ‘cause everyone says – especially Anthony Mackie – that Chris’ driving is terrible! It was so hot and yet, with the little fluff at the end, it stays so steamy and flirty!

  • Jelly Beans by @chrisevans-imagines - {NSFW} - The amount of fluff was phenomenal and the fluffy smut was beautifully written. It was so soft and the way you described how they behaved… And the jelly bean idea is pure genius! You know how much I love the way you write Chris, he’s the stupid bearded sweater wearing dumb dork we adore

  • Drunk Texts by @4theluvofall - {NSFW} - Alert. Things are getting hot and interesting here. Actually, the introduction is quite hilarious because I just love the way Chris is written. A bit of Dom!Chris to make your day look better is all you need. And lastly, the gif used works so well with the whole dynamic of the one-shot.

  • His Devilish Fingers by @theycallmebecca - {NSFW} - I love the writing style so much! This was so amazing, heated and passionate. The way the pleasure switches between Chris and then Reader is so well-written and I really enjoyed the fact it happened also silently. Honestly, Becca’s dabbles are so good - NSFW or not - that I couldn’t choose more. So, check her Master List and enjoy the great work. It’s worth it.

  • Not Your Typical Frat Boy: Part 1 / Part 2 by @i-dont-do-rpfs - {NSFW} - Frat Boy Evans? Yes, please! This is so good and the dynamic between the frat boy and the real Chris is amazing. Suffer with me and drown in hotness and the want to punch Chris and then yourself in the face… you will understand.

  • The New Model by @angryschnauzer - {NSFW} - I absolutely loved this work and I made an effort to enjoy the Daddy kink lightly used here. The plot, the place and the way Chris is written is very new and work well together. As ever, I’m just a huge admirer of the writing style which is very inspiring and pure art.


Miscellaneous characters

- Johnny Storm

  • I Don’t Know Why I Instigate by @bittenbyimagines - This is just so funny. Johnny can’t keep his hands to himself and especially when he’s feeling hot… this perfect set when he was experiencing the first side effects of the cosmic storm in Fantastic Four.
  • Drunk Enough by @imaginesnthings - I like the way the author explored furthermore the struggle Johnny began to feel during the events of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer – where he realizes that being this womanizer won’t last forever and he has to find THE one. It’s just a really great one-shot.

 - Curtis Everett

  • Terrified by @chrisevans-imagines - {NSFW} - Brilliant! We need more Curtis in our lives and Ava is one of the authors who fulfilled our wish. He got his head straight and finally made the first move. I really loved this one because this shows the soft and venerable side of his personality.
  • Shhhhh by @captaincorruptor - {NSFW} - Everything about that one-shot is perfect: the writing is just brilliant and the characterization is on point. Curtis: the tortured soul, but the caring leader. What I love the most - apart from the brilliant smut itself - is the way the atmosphere in the train is described. Read this one, seriously.

  • After Hours: Part 1 / Part 2 by @ariallane - {NSFW} - An AU worth reading. I’m so glad because Curtis deserves so much love and this is all about him and his pleasure and comfort. It’s nice seeing him happy after what happened in the train and it’s actually very, very hot! Especially the last part.

- Jake Jensen

  • Accidental Friend by @misshyen - The humor and the fluff were so mixed so well and the characterization is very accurate. I loved every bit of this and I couldn’t stop smiling the whole time. When I read the first paragraph, I literally had his voice in my head singing Don’t Stop Believin’.
  • Smooth Criminal by @such-fun - Cutest piece of writing here! The awkward and adorable dork we love so much perfectly written and the plot is actually so cool because that’s something he would totally do.

  • Shut Up by @samuelsbucky - {NSFW} - I was so damn happy when I read it because it is the FIRST Jake Jensen x Reader smut I found in years! A very bold Jensen we have here, but this is honestly so good!

- Frank Adler

  • Perfect Distractions: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 by @always-an-evans-addict - {NSFW} - This mini-series starts to very cute and then stop to hot damn… the chemistry is great and Frank is such a little tease, always taunting Reader. I particularly enjoyed it because of the atmosphere.
  • Cupcakes and Rainstorms: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 by @angryschnauzer - {NSFW} - That was wonderfully written, I’m such a big fan of your style and it’s so inspiring. Everything was perfect: the way you wrote all of them, the interaction was amazing and the build-up perfect. It was so smooth and natural. You’ve done such a great job.

- Mike Weiss

  • What’s Left by @forceimagines - {NSFW} – Here is the ONLY Mike Weiss fic on the internet, so you can’t pass this one up because this might one of my favorites. The balance between angst – which is very necessary, knowing Mike – and the smut were perfect. It hits right in the feels and the ending opens to many possibilities. Bravo.
The Friendly Wager (Part 6)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 4,608 (went really overboard)

Warnings: language, lots of bad language, fluff, sarcasm, drinking, implied drunkenness, angst, regret, hangover, confrontation, stupid feelings are stupid yeah?

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?

Second to last part! Tags are closed. I loved all your messages so much!

Part 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Originally posted by captaincentenarian

Keep reading

Varsity Jackets and Peaches. - Part 1

–words: 6k

warning: grinding

Summary; Dan Howell hates him. He hates that black haired boy that wears a varsity jacket and smells like peaches and oh goes by the name Phil Lester. He takes joy out of ruining Dan’s life and he hates him. Well he hates him until a round of spin the bottle commences.

read part two here

     “Were going to be late!” Dan exclaimed.

Jesse rubbed his eyes and stuffed his books into his bag. He shut his locker just as Dan pulled him down the hall. Someone with red hair decided that he wanted to sleep in this morning and forget to pick his best friend up like he did every morning.

“It’s only Ms. Rogers class, calm down.” Jesse mumbled.

“Don’t tell me to calm down.”

Jesse rolled his eyes and let Dan pull him down the hall.

—-

Keep reading

Heights

Originally posted by wonderlandgirlforever

Peter Parker x Shy/Scared Reader

Summary: Even though Peter’s been busy with saving the world, you’ve been feeling neglected and unwanted. He notices and decides to do something fun to cheer you up. 

Word Count: 2,453 (my longest one so far, holla)

Warnings: heights, panic attack, language, fluff, sad stuff. Let me know if I missed any. 

A/N: Alrrright guys, hopefully this turns out okay. I was thinking about making this into a series depending on how much you guys dig it. If you do, then I will post all about what I’m going to do for the series to see if you guys are interested. Sound good? As always, feedback is definitely appreciated. I never get any, so I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or right. Enjoy!


Ever since Peter told you he was the big ‘ol Spiderman, it felt like your guys’ weekly hangouts and movie nights were coming to an end. Of course you understand that he’s saving the world and stopping the bad guys, but it leaves you worried and afraid for his well being. He always seems distracted around you and it fills you with a darkness. Telling Peter would make you seem selfish, so you bury it, hoping it won’t poke its way through. 

Being the shy, reserved, person you are, you definitely had difficulty talking to Peter, especially since you’ve always had a never ending crush on him. After a while of trying to ask him if he could hang out, you stopped. It wasn’t worth the pain of going through to only be rejected once again. 

However, what you didn’t know was that Peter noticed you putting up your walls again. He didn’t want to lose you and decided he was definitely going to do something about it. Starting tonight

Keep reading

THAT THING WHEN KIDS POINT AT YOU YELLING QUESTIONS WHEN YOU ARE VISIBLY DISABLED

It kinda sucks. It really sucks. I like kids and I work with kids and I’m totally used to it and it still sucks. It hurts my feelings.

I didn’t become disabled and get an instant magical free training in how to teach kids about disability and diversity. I also didn’t sign up for a delicate unpaid education-and-outreach job every time I go to the frickin’ grocery store. (I actually don’t have time for that).

BUT. And this is a big butt.

I am actually learning to love it, this stupid important unpaid job that I didn’t even get to choose.

I know I know, I have an unfair advantage because I already thought kids were ridiculous and hilarious to begin with. And I worked with them before I started using a wheelchair. But working with kids and having to have the disability conversation in so many iterations so many times over is teaching me a whole lot about this whole situation! And it got much less stressful after I realized this helpful key secret:

kids don’t actually have a problem with disability.

Especially compared to the adults you encounter who will or won’t ask about it and will or won’t hire you or date you or what-have-you, so many kids have absolutely no problem with disability. Unless the media // the adults around them have gotten to their brains before you, this whole conversation might be alarmingly simple, quick, and painless:

SCENARIO 1:

“hey why are you on that?” [“on that” refers to my wheelchair]. 

(whenever possible I put down what I’m doing in order to smile and make eye contact for this. It will probably be less than 20 seconds).

“oh my wheelchair? Great question! I have a disability that makes my bones crack easily, so it’s safer and faster for me to use a wheelchair sometimes. It’s just how I help my body be at its best!”

“oh!”

“cool right?”

“yeah!”

“did you have any other questions?” [I only throw that in on good days]

“um. nope!”


[kid goes to play]

[exhale]


My advice is to expect Scenario One. All you gotta do to prepare is have a one-sentence explanation of your assistive device / disability that you feel comfortable with. Kids do not give a shit about your diagnosis, and you don’t need to prove anything to them. All they need from you is a simple, casual answer.

I * always * explicitly use the word disability for a few reasons. I used to just casually say “I fractured my leg” which was also true, but kids learn really early on to feel pity for someone who has an injury, so they would say things like “ohh I feel bad for you” or “oh when will you get better” which always made the conversation longer and more uncomfortable. Then I realized I had a lot of power in shaping their interaction with disability (and their response to it) in these brief encounters, and also I GET TO DECIDE HOW I ANSWER! So I revised my answer to frame my injuries (and my wheels), as a normal, casual part of my life. Feel free to use my exact wording if it helps you:

“oh my wheelchair? Great question! I have a disability that   (very basic explanation)     so it’s safer and faster for me to use a wheelchair sometimes. It’s just how I help my body be at its best!”

Okay I studied sociolinguistics in college so here’s my geeky little break-down:

  • oh my wheelchair?” ← gives a nice nonchalant “oh this old thing” vibe and sends the message that it’s okay and normal to talk about wheelchairs.
  • great question!” ← teaches the child that disability is not shameful
  • I have a disability that ___” ← addresses the taboo right away, deflating any tension, awkwardness, and curiosity in the rest of the conversation. Suddenly you have all the power here, since there’s no secret anymore.
  • so it’s safer and faster for me to use a wheelchair” ← emphasizes the positive attributes of assistive devices. You could also say “it helps me do everything I want to do” or “my wheels are faster than my feet” or whatever you want. Again, simplicity works for you in this.
  • It’s just how I help my body be at its best!” ← hopefully kids are already getting some messaging about taking care of their bodies: brushing their teeth, eating a snack, sleeping enough, etc. This line should be relatable to them and also caps the conversation in a helpful way: it’s almost like saying “this is just how it is” and creates a sense of gentle, positive closure.

My personal opinion on the matter of disclosure is that the vast majority of kids don’t care at all about the fancy name of your disability. I don’t emphasize simplicity because I think kids need to be talked down to, I emphasize simplicity because it keeps the conversation clear, casual, and quick. In the adult world, disclosure is practically demanded of disabled people: even if they don’t ask, everyone wants to know what, exactly, is “wrong” with you. So my choice in not naming my specific disability in these conversations with kids is conscious and political. Not disclosing my diagnosis keeps our conversation out of the medical sphere (disabled people are so over-medicalized anyway) and gives us a chance to connect human-to-human. Some people feel that sharing a diagnosis will raise “awareness” for their illness or disability but I’m not sure that awareness is what I need from kids. I don’t need them to be aware that my bod has wonky collagen production, I need them to know how to interact with me respectfully. I’m not adamantly against specific diagnosis disclosure, (again, YOU GET TO CHOOSE what you say in these situations!) but I also don’t think it’s necessary or important and I think more often than not, it derails the conversation. Especially if you already didn’t have time for this to begin with. Guaranteed, a diagnosis disclosure will add time to this convo.

Often kids will ask what happened to you, assuming that you’ve had some kind of accident. I have a congenital disability, so even when I * have * fractured and had an ‘accident’ and that is why I’m wheeling instead of walking, I usually just casually say: “oh, nothing happened! Same old me. I have a disability…” and continue my spiel from there. 

They will also ask what’s wrong with you (which is the hardest to stomach) and I do the same thing: “oh, nothing’s wrong! I just have a disability…” etc. If I’m just absolutely not in the mood or if a kid seems weirdly aggressive (which is almost never the case, but it does happen), I’ll cheerfully say “oh nothing’s wrong, but thank you so much for asking!” and that usually shuts down the conversation. 

Lovelies, I know how fucking painful this is. Ugh it sucks so much. But it does get easier and gentler and sometimes kids say really goofy things that you get to laugh about later. This conversation is yours. You get to do as you please with it. Have fun. If you want, for little ones throw in an afterthought: “plus it gives me magical powers. But don’t tell anyone.” Having someone look at you like you could be legitimately fucking magical might make your day. 

Hell, you ARE legitimately fucking magical. Go you for reading this and thinking about this and doing you. 

love,

haley

How to become a good student (again) 3: Yearn for friendship - not worship; not debasement

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

‘tis done! This beast just got longer and longer, so I decided to cut it down a bit for the sake of readability. But let me know if there’s something that was too vague - the nuance might have got lost in the editing process.

Alright, let’s get down to business (to defeat! The Huns!)! So, if you’re an ex-good student, I’m pretty sure that you know this static in your head, right? Whenever you really need to do something but you just can’t get up and do it, so you keep procrastinating even though you hate it and keep scrolling and scrolling or gaming and gaming and feel more and more guilty?

Well, it might not be the most immediate analogy, but for this post I want you to consider that what connects you and your subject of study is essentially a relationship and that this static is (among other things) an indicator of how screwed up your relationship is. Just like with real people, your relationships with subjects can either

  • prosper and bear fruit (me & Creative Writing)
  • become cold and distant (me & French)
  • or, worst of all, turn sour and actively harmful. (me & PE, back in school)

Now, nobody likes to hear that they’re relationship-ing wrong. And it is true that different approaches work for different people. But here are the counter-productive relationships that I’ve personally ended up in and I’m gonna show you how I got into and out of them, so you can try to do the same. Maybe it’ll help you lift that static from your head.

Side-Note: Always remember that, since your subjects are just that (subjects), and not real people, you are the only one who can actually mend these relationships and, conversely, you are the one who screwed them up in the first place (probably with good intentions, though).

So, we’ll take them in this order:

1) Overeager Debasement

2) Undereager Debasement

3) Worship


(Oh, and in case you wanna catch up:

Masterpost 

Part 1

Part 2)


1) Overeager Debasement

What is it?

The desire to do everything, perfectly, at the same time, right now. Not to limit yourself to just one field of study, but to master them all, to reign supreme above knowledge, to keep your mind wide open to new possibilities, similarities and contradictions.
You overvalue your own capacities and undervalue the needs and difficulties of your subject.
(also refer to the first post for this)

How did you get here?

(read picture from right to left)

So. Many. Possible. Reasons.

  • it’s a cage. The idea of doing just one thing for the rest of your life scares you and you feel imprisoned at the thought of it
  • you know that you could be outstanding if you applied yourself
  • you know that you could be even more outstanding if you became accomplished in multiple fields
  • you want to find connections between fields nobody’s ever considered before
  • you feel like you’ve wasted your last few years and need to catch up to others
  • you’re afraid that you’re not good enough
  • you’re afraid of being ignorant
  • you’re arrogant

No matter the reason (I’ve gone through them all), people caught in this state of mind shovel more and more onto their plate.
And then wonder why they can’t swallow it all.

What do you think you’re doing?

A labour of love, most likely. You think you love languages and sciences and athletics and programming and cooking and hanging out with friends and being alone and so you just want to do it all!
You don’t want to limit yourself! You don’t want to lose any time! But there’s just so much and you have so little energy and ugh, if only I wasn’t destined for greatness, then I could relax like other little people, but no, I need to keep pushing! In every! Direction! At the same! Time!

I know your delusion. I’ve been there. You imagine yourself to be that one perfect friend who gets up at 6am, watches the sun rise, does yoga, eats a healthy breakfast, goes for a quick run, comes back home, answers all correspondence, is artistic for a few hours, then scientific for a few hours, then social for a few hours and ends the day with tiny masterpieces in each area, goes out with friends or family to grab a healthy dinner and goes to sleep, happy and balanced :)

Well, you know what, my starry-eyed friend?

What are you actually doing?

You’re the mental equivalent of a social butterfly.
You’re being fucking disrespectful.

You’re always on the run and never able to really commit to anything, because you’ve already scheduled something else afterwards. You’re shallow, deluded, that one friend that always comes in running, screaming “Besties  ~ ♥” and everyone shifts uncomfortably in their seats and smiles a painful smile and humours you, because they know you mean well, but they also know that you know nothing about them. 
You’ve never been there for them ever, but always expect them to be there for you. Whenever they want to talk about themselves, you nod and then proceed to about yourself and your plans and “ohmygosh, this is so nice, we need to meet more often ~ ♥ “. But at least you mean well, so they’ve agreed to keep it simple and on the “The weather is nice today”-level with you. 

But here you are, wondering why you’re not making any progress.
Mysterious.

So what do I do?

Well, you need to go from this:

To this:

How? More on that below.


2) Undereager Debasement

What is it?

This stage is what happens when you notice that your lofty ideals from Overeager Debasement cannot be fulfilled. You turn bitter, hateful, cold. You think you’re a failure, you think you were too soft. Instead of wanting to be friends with everyone, you now want to rule over everyone, fuck what they want.

You’re burnt out. You’re done. You just want to get through these stupid classes and catch a goddamn break, goddamnit.

And you WILL get through. You’re too proud to do anything else. But you don’t really care about any of it.
You just want to make it.

How did you get here?

If you were a good student, you probably heard at some point or another that you were “different” and that your complex and mysterious ways were not understandable and definitely not achievable for your average classmate.

Most people who tell you this mean well. A few want to make fun of you, but most actually do mean it as a compliment. But they don’t know how dangerous it is to hear it again and again, because regardless of whether it’s true or not, you start to believe it.
You start to believe that somehow, you have a higher calling, a higher standard. And you start to long for that day when your high standards will be met - when you will go to that one mysterious class where everyone is just as eager as you are, where the “Oh, captain, my captain!”-teacher will spark a fire in your brain that will never go out and when your ominous “gifts” can finally be put to good use for the prosperous future of mankind.


And you work.

And work.

And the class never comes.

You feel the weight on your shoulders when teachers talk of “high expectations”, you feel it crush you a little bit every time your friends tease you about your genuine fear that you might not get an A, that you might lose it all, that your “gifts” could disappear and you’ll be stranded and useless and you put in the hours, you work your ass off to keep that high standard, all in the hope of having that one miraculous class that never comes.

I realized that that class would never come when I entered university.

University, I’d told myself, would be my Arcadia, my Eden, my academic paradise where all my hard work would be rewarded!
Instead, I only found more drudgery, more incompetent professors, more disinterested students and even more bureacracy. To say that I was “disappointed” would be putting it very lightly.

I became disoriented and disenchanted. I realized that I could get through most classes with half-assed effort, I was hardly ever challenged, I floated along and hated every second of it. I blamed my boring teachers, the imperfect system, the teachers who had given me hope only for me to watch it crash and go up in flames.

What do you think you’re doing?

Being badass, cool and detached, most likely.

You dream of yourself as a master and your subjects as slaves. They bow to your will, they dance to your tune, you command them with the snap of a finger.

“Look, you slave of the system”, you say, lying on a velvet sofa, “Look, at how it hardly takes any effort for me to pass these classes! Look at how I spend my time doing things I actually like and that are actually worth it, unlike these stupidly easy classes taught by stupidly incompetent professors in a stupidly screwed-up system! Look at me, being edgy and drowning in self-hatred because I can physically feel myself gliding off the rails that made me so “special” and becoming one of the average people in the masses, haha. Ha. Ha. Screw academia, but still give me good grades, amirite?”

I know your delusion. I’ve been there. You imagine yourself to be that one perfect friend that never studies for classes, comes for three lectures per semester and still manages to get perfect grades because everything you do in school is, like, so five years ago. That one friend who has read all the classics in their spare time, has conquered and enslaved all the knowledge actually worth knowing, will quote obscure Polish philosophers you’ve never heard of and plays the piano with a perfect pitch. They’re the wisest, most culture-non-conforming people you know - they’ve been up until 5am, wandering the streets and drinking vodka from a bottle while forcefully pentrating the mysteries of the universe all by themselves until they finally fall asleep on a park bench and awake with an epiphany about Klein bottles.
They’re “special”.

What are you actually doing?

Caring more about appearing “special” than actually trying to be “special”, that’s what you’re doing.

But, look, what made you so “special” and “different” in the first place was not a “calling” or “gifts” or the fact that you wrote good grades and were destined for greatness.

Here’s a handy chart I’ll use later - you were lucky enough to fall into the green zone, lucky enough to be born with an innate respect and a love for learning. That’s what made you “special”. That’s what made you succeed. Not pressure, not warped ideals and certainly not the fear of failure.


But somewhere along the way you forgot that and only focussed on the results. You started to believe yourself to be so special that everybody else should cater to you.
The fancy titles, the awe-struck looks, the “You’re so amazing”s and the “The genius of a decade”, the planned Nobel prize speech and the prestige, the dream others had lovingly created for you and you had slowly absorbed and warped as your own? It got to you. Hell, it got to me.
And it became more important than learning itself.
Somewhere along the way, you and I, we became an arrogant and lazy assholes.

You looked down on your easy courses and homework and instead of recognising how lucky you are, doing it in a minute and a half and then putting in the extra work on top to dig deeper and to maybe contribute something of value and fun, you threw it aside with a snide remark as beneath you.
Of course it wasn’t fun. Of course it wasn’t challenging. You never even tried to make it either.

(And don’t get me wrong: I honestly do think that the education system as it is right now needs MAJOR reforms. But right now? It is what it is. And instead of making the best of it and doing what you once loved so much, you succumbed to societal pressures you found yourself unable to fulfill and said “meh”.
You cared so much about the fame and the title that the relationship itself didn’t matter.)

But this isn’t the master-slave relationship you imagine it to be.
It’s a trophy-friendship. Once upon a time, you got on really well with this person and other people loved your friendship. You fell in love with the ideal, with their connections, their money, their prestige, their name on a CV, and you stuck around just for that.
You valiantly ignore the reality of the state of things between you two
and take them out only when absolutely needed, only when things are this close to falling apart and so you keep walking a fine, fine line.
Whenever a deadline approaches, you shower them with attention and love and, gingerly, they open up to you and you see a depth and complexity to them that astounds you and makes you think “Imagine! Imagine how much more I could have seen if only I’d started earlier?”
But the moment the crisis has passed, you toss them aside once again.

Because this is enough to make your name.
You may not remember much about these nights or about the person at all, but the only thing that counts is that it will fulfill your “special” prophecy and make you a legend, right?

Well, always remember this:
(read picture from right to left)

You’re not “special” if you made it to university. You’re not “special” if you’ve made your name. 
It comes down to a simple choice: do you value appearances over integrity or the other way round? Do you dare to look like a fumbling idiot again when you start something new? Is the “appearing like an idiot”-part more important to you than the “learning/creating something new”-part? 
Have a think about it.

3) Worship

“Alright”, you’ll say, “Alright. I get it. So I’ll treat my “friends”/subjects with respect and integrity and I’ll take all the time and concentration I can bestow upon them, just as I would upon real friends. But do you want me to be like, uh - like…

What is it?

“…like one of those anime characters that lives only for their dream and gets up at like 6am, does the thing, talks about the thing, breathes the thing, goes to bed, dreams of the thing and then wakes up at 6am to do the thing?”

(Google: Did you mean Hinata Shouyou?

Yes, yes, I did, google.)

Well, no, I don’t want you to do that. See, that’s the other extreme and unless you’re an anime character, chances are that it won’t work out for you. 

How did you get here?

Personally, I was caught in this trap for a loooooong time. Anime offered me a new way of relating to my passions that neither my family nor my school had ever shown me: unabashed obsession.
I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to be obsessed. I wanted to give myself up to a higher ideal, something above human consciousness, something that would endure. I wanted to, well, get up at 6am, do the thing, talk about the thing, breathe the thing and so on - “the thing” in question being, of course, studying. I made elaborate plans, complicated lists, study-plans that shift on a daily basis and cover all grounds, I wanted to study for two hours before school, wanted to repeat lessons, wanted to give myself up to knowledge, made cool covers for my notebooks, made mock exams for my friends to use, planned to focus on each continent for a month and study it, planned to listen to one new composer each day, planned to go to the museum every week, planned to analyze Sherlock Holmes and think just like him, planned to - you get the idea.

I wanted to be like this:

What do you think you’re doing?

Being but a humble servant to the eternal workings of truth. Knowing thou art unworthy, yet suffering the perfection of study.

I wanted to go from 0 to 100, I wanted knowledge and wisdom to transform and deliver me, I wanted to feel enlightened, I wanted to feel my brain burning, pushing frontiers and breaking through to new horizons, I wanted to elevate myself to touch even the lowest levels of truth.
I wanted to do something noble, something worthwhile, something that could never be critisized and would always be valued, something with eternal meaning that would echo through the ages and I wanted to be even the tiniest cog in the machinery of mind.

What are you actually doing?

Being, quite simply, an idiot.

This is one of my favourite quotes (David Wong):

“There are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them.” 

The same goes for studying. As shown above, studying won’t work out if you do not treat your subjects with respect. Conversely, studying also won’t work if you continue to idolize it as work beyond all work and reproach, as the only true calling, as the realm of the genii and by self-flagellating yourself and repeating “I’m but a humble servant in your kingdom of reason and will never reach where you are, but will spend all my time trying to reach you.” 

Why? Because by saying “I’ll never reach you or be worthy of you”, you’ve already sealed your fate. Some students (no matter how well they actually perform) are stuck thinking that they are stupid and incapable of doing well. Others think that the trick is in the preparation and they undergo complicated rituals of finding exactly the right study spot, exactly the right study drink, exactly the right study time, etc. in the hope of channeling the connection between their godly subject and themselves, but it never turns out quite as glamorous as they’d hoped (once again, speaking from experience).

This is because you cannot force a true friendship if you think yourself unworthy of it. It will always be worship. 

And why are you worshipping?
Because it takes the pressure right off of you
. This always annoyed me about some of my fellow students. They treated becoming a good student as this miraculous and unlikely event that only happens to the #blessed.
I insisted that “no”, it could be done. “Yes”, it was hard work, but ultimately absolutely doable. But now that I’ve been in their shoes? I understand.
Admitting that you could have done it anytime implies failure on your part for not having done it. By saying “Oh no, it is so very complex and divine and a lowly worm like me could never hope to crawl in its shadows”, you shift the focus away from yourself and onto the thing itself. 

But this is a synthetic, manufactured relationship with a partner that does not even exist. It is, at its heart, a kyaa  ~ I hope senpai notices me! (๑♡⌓♡๑) - kind of relationship. It’s idolizing not a person’s true character, but their appearance, their aesthetic and the values that they represent for you. It’s not really listening to what they’re saying, but warping their words so they fit into your perfect idea of them.
Just, unlike with undereage debasement, you do not play pretend that everything’s fine and secretly hate the other person deep down - you honestly idolize them to heaven and back, so you could never possible reach them.
You’re using them to fill in the holes in your own personality.

And that … just isn’t fun? I dunno about you, but treating studying as something that must be done perfectly with exactly the right pen and the perfect face-mask after the right smoothie and in the right lighting by a window overgrown with ivy and with perfect concentration from the first moment and unwavering, knightly passion and exact planning from 6am to bedtime all because I know deep down that I will not be able to fulfill these ideals and thus don’t have to feel bad about not reaching them just … isn’t for me. I don’t like my relationships to be all overstructured and “perfect” and high maintenance like that.

I want my friendships and my studying to be authentic. And that means that sometimes it’s messy and sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s quoting Keats while lying on the floor at 2am in the morning and chugging milk out of a carton, but it’s real.
I truly do understand this longing to make studying look pretty and like a magical realm, because when you’re in the flow that’s really what it feels like. But the beauty comes along with the practice, not the other way round.

No, but honestly - what do I DO then?


Y’remember Hippogriffs from Harry Potter? That’s how I imagine my subjects. Approach them carefully, honestly, maintaining eye contact and as equals and they will respect you. This scene:

This scene is what I’m talking about. 
If you were in a worship-state, you would only admire them from afar, gushing over how beautiful they are, but sad that they would never deign to even look in your general direction. (think of all the subjects you thought would be way too difficult for you)
If you were in a debasement-state, you’d either try to make friends with all the hippogriffs, hopping from one to the other and forming no bond with either or you’d “tsk” disdainfully and try to force them to obey you against their will. (*cough* Malfoy *cough*)

If, however, you’re in the green, there will be mutual respect between you and you will be able to fly.

So what does it mean to be in the green? 
It means not to do any of the above, obviously, so 

  • take your time for and invest brainpower into each and every one of your subjects - be a good friend. Be there. Listen. Even if they have crazy ideas at 4am in the morning. 
  • appreciate your subjects and know that they are more than the teacher who tries to get you to know them. Sometimes, some people just have a really shitty PR department (especially maths)
  • don’t think too much or too little of yourself. You can do amazing things, but that does not give you the license not to do amazing things anymore, rest on your laurels and expect others to applaud you for it. 

  • some relationships take longer than others to build, but getting to understand someone who puzzled you from the first moment and challenged your beliefs will improve your own personality as well
    (side-eye at PE. Yes, I love you now, you crazy athletic bastard)
  • do it for the sake of the relationship itself, because you enjoy their company. Results are presents which, although very much appreciated, should not be the main motivator to keep you going.
    This essentially means that you should think of studying as hanging out with a friend - already makes it seem so much more inviting and way less daunting, does it not?

    (Logic and I, being saltmates. Real friends judge other people together)
  • be aware that all friendships go through rocky patches and some subjects might take a while to warm up to you or you to them. But if you think that it’s worth it, then you gotta power through that. If you don’t think it’s worth it, you gotta be brave enough to say good-bye. 


Look, what I’m actually saying is … be Souma Yukihira from Food Wars.

Food Wars is a crazy and at times pretty pervy manga/anime, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t also one of the best pieces of fiction I’ve ever consumed and if Souma isn’t one of the most admirable main characters I’ve ever encountered.  

The relationship between him and cooking is filled with trust, love and equality. He trusts his cooking skills, because he knows that they have spent a long time together - cooking won’t let him down and he won’t ever let cooking down by stopping to look for ways to improve.

That doesn’t mean, however, that he’s always deadly serious - he loves to play around with cooking and to try ridiculous new things. He never forgets the joy that even the simplest form of cooking brings him. 

There’s one great episode where he puts his life as a chef on the line and someone fearfully asks him what he’d do if he lost. He shrugs and says he could become a lawyer or a teacher or something. So while he loves cooking profoundly, he does not worship it and he knows that there are other relationships he could build up if he had to. He just …doesn’t want to, because cooking is his bff. 

He loves to take on challenges to see how far he and cooking have come -

- and he takes challenges very seriously -


- but takes it even more seriously if he loses -

- and nonetheless knows that they are stronger for the challenges they have faced together. 

So, yes, this is what it means to be in the green. Cherish your friendships, hang out together, be honest, funny, clever, curious and you. 

You’ll be surprised at how much fun the two of you will have, now that all the pretensions and pressures are gone. 

Just …hang out and have fun.

(and maybe watch Food Wars!, because damn, Souma is the MVP of my inspirational heroes)

Have a great day and I’ll see you in the next (and hopefully shorter) part 4 :)

drunk boyfriend tag

summary: dan and phil get drunk and film the boyfriend tag (similar to what shane dawson did)

tags: alcohol, so much sweetness and cuteness your teeth will hurt, extreme fluff

by: angelboydjh on tumblr

word count: ~1.8k

first fic posted!! please, ignore any mistakes and reblog and like!! ilu!! send in requests for fics :-)

゚*。:(人´v`*)☆゚:。*゚

dan and phil got a little drunk. they originally got out some Ribena, which is completely unharmful, until dan spotted vodka on the kitchen counter, which they only keep for parties. its almost gone, with a half a bottle left, so dan thought of an idea.

“phil, lets get drunk.” phil looked at dan confused; dan never really likes drinking as much as he used to, hes grown, the satisfaction of being drunk doesnt really thrill as much, and its the same with phil.

“why?” asked phil, sipping his Ribena.

“because why not! we have no meeting tomorrow, we are bored out of our minds, and itll be fun! we’ll even be safe, we can control each other well.” phil thought about it. he never really likes hangovers, who does? he gets them bad, and he knows dan gets them worse, but dan was right, they were extremely bored and had no meetings tomorrow. phil shrugged, and replied with a sure, causing dan to jump up with joy.

dan grabbed the bottle and went to phils room, closing the door, and sitting on his bed. he opens to bottle and pours a lot in his drink, doing the same to phil. there is now many 4 shots full left of the drink and dan was happy he rationed out well.

“wanna do a toast?” asked phil.

“with our vodka filled ribena?” chuckled dan. phil nodded, giggling a little.

“why not?” phil responded, and dan nodded agreeing. they lifted their glass cups up and they look at each other. “to us!”

dan laughed at the cliché, but echoed phil, and a clink noise was heard when the touched glasses. dan downed about half of his drink in that one sip, phil only taking a baby sip.

phil made a face, hating the taste of vodka. dan hid his disgust, looking at phil.

“now we wait.” dan took another sip, already feeling slightly dizzy.

*:・゚✧

dan was fully drunk. he was giggling, putting his head on phil, slurring his words, all of it.

phil was only tipsy. he didnt drink much yet, only about half of his drink. dan, of course, drank all of it, even the rest in the bottle!

“phil!” dan slurred out, and phil glanced over slowly, so he doesnt get dizzy, and raised his eyebrow. “we should do a boyfriend tag.”

phil thought about this. is he that drunk that he doesnt really care if they do one or not? yes. he doesnt really care, its not like itll be posted. phil knows better than that.

“sure.” phil got up to get his camera from the other side of the room, and dan plopped on the bed laughing at who knows what.

it took phil about 2 minutes to set up everything for filming, and an extra 5 minutes to find good goddamn questions.

he finally found some question, a total of twenty. he can barely read them because of his blurry vision, and since he didnt have neither his contacts or glasses on. so he grabbed his glasses from the bed side and put them on to see if itll help. nope. he took another sip of his drink and locked his phone. he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it. he gets up and turns on the camera, praying to god its in focus.

“dan, its on, we are filming.” once those words left phils mouth, dan shot up from phils bed and looked at phil.

“okay, okay, okay, okay,” he kept repeating that until he finally was next to phil on the bed facing the camera. phil giggled at dan, dan looking at him with his red cheeks.

“okay, ready, babe?” asked phil, seeing double of dan. dan nodded, and smiled at phil and then at the camera.

“okay,” phil breathed in and then ‘took in his persona’.

“hey guys!” he said cheerfully, but all it did is make him dizzy. dan was like, on top of phil, so hes grateful that he was, or phil wouldve fallen over.

“im here with dan.” phil pointed at him, and dan waved, his white oversized cat shirt being exposed, and you could even see his naked legs, since hes wearing shorts. “we are doing the boyfriend tag.” phil said slowly, and dan nodded jumping up and down on the bed.

“phil is my boyfriend! boyfriend phil! philip lester, boyfriend!” he yelled, making phil giggle.

“okay, want ask the questions, or do u want me go ask them?” asked phil to dan.

“ask me the questions! then we will do it back!” dan suggested, and phil nodded encouragingly.

“okay, first question.” phil unlocked his phone and read it very carefully.

“when is my birthday?” he asked. “bonus points for the zodiac sign!”

“january 30th, that makes you a……” he strung out the 'a’ to think. “an Aquarius! aquarium.” he laughed, and phil chuckled.

“correct baby.” he leaned in to kiss dan, and dan kissed him, tasting of vodka and ribena.

“okay, now,” phil was going to go to the next question, but dan protested.

“now do mine! do mine!” dan pouted, crossing his arms.

“june 11th! youre a gemini.” phil stuttered out, making dan laugh.

“lucky guess.” he muttered jokingly.

“next question,” phil scrolled down the page. “where did i grow up?”

“im too drunk for this phil!!” he moaned out. “the north! thats all youre getting.”

“well, youre not wrong.” said phil. “ill give you the point.”

“what about me?” asked dan.

“the south.”

“ugh! exact place!”

“not fair, you didnt do that for me!”

“ugh, whatever.” dan pouted again.

“wipe that pout off your face princess.” phil whispered, grabbing dans chin.

“im just kidding philly!” dan kissed phil, getting him off guard.

“okay, next,” phil asked. “whats my middle name?”

“michael! these are too easy! i want harder ones. test me!” dan groaned out, and phil rolled his eyes.

“okay, okay,” phil said. he scrolled down to another website, which had different questions. “how about this: where was our first date?”

“EASY!” he yelled, throwing his hands up. “well, kinda,” he muttered. “its hard!”

“well, tell me.” phil said suggestively, leaning closer to dan.

“we first met of course at the train station,” he muttered out. “and then we went straight to your house, and, did things. does that count as a first date?” this took him way too long to say, as he was stuttering madly.

“yes, it does. great job, cutie.” phil said happily and leaned in for a kiss.

“okay, let me ask the question!” phil started to give him the phone, but dan refused, saying he wants go make one up.

“whats the first thing you notice about me?” he asked a bashful.

“your smile.” phil said simply. no explanation was needed to make dan feel all warm inside. dan covered his face and leaned on phils shoulder, grinning like mad.

once he got up, he looked at phil, seeing his wonderful, eyes.

“you know what mine is.” he muttered, almost inaudible. it was phils turn to blush. they lean in and kiss once again, but longer than before.

when they pulled apart, dan was seeing actual stars, and couldnt even understand what was happening, completely forgot about the video.

“oh my god, i love you so much.” he said in a shush tone, with phils hand on his cheek. they were only a few inches away from each other, and phil loved it. phil was exploding every inch of dans face, and so was dan. every moment phil made, it made him more dizzy and more dazed, but he didnt care.

within a few moments, they both locked eyes, and somehow, both remembered they were recording.

“uh, one more question,” phil stuttered out, as dan looked around for his almost empty drink. “okay, last question. what is my favorite color?”

“easy, blue.” dan said, as he drank his final sips of his drink before crushed it and threw it.

“hey!” phil protested, looking over at the cup.

“ill pick it ip later, babe.” dan slurred out almost incoherently. “whats mine?”

“easy, pink.” phil mocked. dan smiled softly, putting his arms around phils neck, phil put this hands on dans waist.

“what kind of pink?” he muttered, with his sloppy grin on his face, his curly hair perfect in tack still. (which surprised phil)

“pastel.” dan groaned jokingly, letting his head drop down onto phils shoulders.

“oh my god, i tried to trick you!” dan yelled.

“well, you didnt. 8 years of friendship pays off.” phil joked. dan put his head on phils shoulder, his head facing the camera.

“can we finish? i wanna cuddle with you watch disney movies.” phil chuckled and nodded.

“we’ll finish, lets do the outro.” phil tapped dan, so he can get up from his shoulder, but dan didnt move a muscle, indicating hes not moving.

“okay, well, goodbye everyone, please like a subscribe to me and dans channel, and our gaming channel! love you!” he waved and awkwardly looked at dan.

“i need to turn off that camera baby.” dan groaned and got up from phils shoulder. phil got up and turned off the camera, sitting right on his bed again next to dan.

“can we just cuddle?” phil can tell dan was getting tired, and getting all drained. he gets like this when hes drunk, but also after recording videos.

“of course, princess.” phil laid down, then wrapping his arms around dan who is not next to them. they peacefully fall asleep, with the lights on and phils snoring.

*:・゚✧

it was the morning, and phil is posting his premade video on lessamazingphil, just a quick vlog from florida. its taking surprisingly long to process, since its only 2 minutes, but phil didnt question it. its almost done, so phil went to go see dan, who has the worst hangover ever.

“how are you baby?” asked phil, laying next to dan.

“better, how bad was it?” he asked, and phil laughed.

“you were fine, not as bad as a few months ago, but you were not any better.” dan groaned, and at that moment his phone dinged. he unlocked his phone to see the notification, YouTube popping up, and it was phils new video.

“uh, phil.” dan said.

“yes?” phil hummed.

“you posted the wrong video.”

“what?” phil yelled a little too loudly for dan, as he backed away and gave phil his phone in just one beat.

“i uploaded our drunk boyfriend tag.” dans eyes widen.

“we filmed a video? no way, i dont remember this. did we kiss?”

“i was drunk too!”

“well, i would keep it up.”

“why?”

“we already made this mistake once, lets just let them have what they want.”

anonymous asked:

Thoughts on the new gaming vid? They seemed so happy and cute and lighting has improved everything A++ ^_^

(faceapp)

  • 2 seconds in and i’m already shook i can’t believe this is real we are literally looking into their new house they are literally actually filming in a new HOUSE and it’s all just too much to process
  • phil sitting cross legged on the same old futon and fixing the tetris lights and balancing them and the pacman light on cardboard boxes is all too cute his enthusiasm is too much for me and dan definitely thinks it’s so cute too and this whole intro is just so soft
  • i love that phil owns up to the fact that this was his idea while dan is tryna go for his traditional ugh this is too stupid and vapid and too mainstream and not creative enough shtick. phil giving no fucks about a got damn quality threshold is my kink
  • when phil is attempting to take his neutral expression selfie and slightly pouts and he and dan giggle (i’m being generous w that term bc dan’s was more like a squawk tbh) at the exact same moment i just smiled so hard. they’re so cute. and they’re both apparently kind of uncomfortable w the notion of like trying to look sultry in photos which is why that pouty expression made them laugh immediately, and also is a good precursor to the whole discussion that comes later about phil’s ladybird selfie
  • dan’s look into the camera at 2:13 gave me lifeeeeee i like that he’s trying to shade phil for taking forever to get his fuckin selfie but instead he has this ever so subtle up tilt to his lips bc he can’t completely hide his smile ughaierjoaierj
  • omg underrated discussion in this video: at 2:26 once phil has finally succeeded in taking the selfie he turns to dan and says “i look alright there” but w the intonation of a question, like he’s literally asking dan for affirmation that he looks good and  not only that but he full on turns to look at dan and gauge his reaction and that felt so special and genuine to me??? like??? not a sort of thing i would expect to see tbh? and in general this video was obvi silly and just a bit of fun but also i thought the level of feedback they were giving each other on their photos and the way they were reacting was all so,,, warm and comfortable and surprisingly open. in this instance i’m also just frustrated bc dan was about to say something in response to phil asking dan if he looks alright, but he cuts himself off. he says ‘that’s an excep—’ and it def sounds like he was gonna say exceptional or exceptionally and i need to know what his thought was. i also like that the thought he interrupts himself with is about phil still having slight crazy eyes. we’ve talked about phil’s own explanation for his wide-eyed deer-in-headlights expressions in selfies a bit on this blog. according to him, he resorts to doing that bc having his photo taken makes him uncomfortable, so it was cute to me that dan noted that phil still did a little bit of the wide eyes without giving any context for why he was pointing it out bc it’s just an understood thing that they obvi have talked about a lot
  • 3:14 dan’s horrified and squeaky “what have they done to your face?” is so good. it’s just. so good. he sounds so outraged that they’ve fucked w phil’s face i lov it
  • 3:20 is the besttttttttt. this is the exchange where dan teases phil for being old and i love everything about it i love how dan made that comment without even thinking which sort of suggests that teasing phil for being old is just a regular/habitual thing and i love the way phil reacted bc it wasn’t rly irritated or even mock irritation in the end. instead he just played along w dan’s joke and accepted it and the whole exchange was so warmmmmmmm and comfortableeeeeee and flirtyyyyyyyyy and it reminds me of a few other comments that dan has made here and there that allude to their age gap and they’re always v cute and gentle teasing and it’s just so good
  • 3:42 they’re talking about the ‘old’ selfie and 1. dan is captivated and i can literally see him contemplating his future w phil lmao and 2. phil talking about joey graceffa and calling him good-looking w a blatant pause before he said that, making me wonder if he was going to use a word that was a bit more emphatic than “good-looking” either way i’m into it and then there’s a blatant jump cut and i’m wondering if they had a lil side conversation about joey being cute lol 3. phil is still looking at dan basically every time he makes a comment and it’s rly surprising but lovely 4. dan needed to come in w that compliment about old phil rocking current phil’s fringe and how cool he looks :) 
  • here’s dan howell caught right in the act of contemplating growing old w phil:
  • bless them for calling out how dumb the concept of a “female” filter is. also dan’s once again violent reaction to phil in the female filter is so cute and funny i love how incensed he is with the whole concept of anything being different about phil’s face
  • 5:36 dan looking at phil in the male filter and saying “you look so average” in such a disappointed tone is rly one of the best fucking things i’ve ever seen in my life. i’ve often thought about dan’s attraction to phil being based in some of the things that are most striking about his appearance. for example he always talks about how black phil’s hair is and how pale his skin is and back in the day he obvi left that infamous comment on phil’s dailybooth about how blue his eyes are and i feel like dan is probs drawn to these features that are just,,, extreme,,, and i love that even a slight change to phil’s jawline/face shape made dan think phil looked decidedly more average precisely bc what he loves about phil’s face are all the things that aren’t average at all!!!! i’m emotional!!
  • phil was so hype to see all of dan’s ones!!!! i’m crying!!!!! the way he was doing his hee-hee laughs and bouncing up and down quite literally and like hitting his hands on the table and saying things like i wanna be friends w him instead of you and ‘i wanna see old danny! old danny slice!!!’ like calm down mate!!!!! ur cute!!! we know u think dan is cute!!! y do u love every single version of him so much!!!! when he sees the old one he immediately says he likes it and compliments it!!!!! when he sees the old one on the daniel x dream pic he calls him cute!!!!!! and then makes this face at dan while dan looks at it!!!!!! 
  • help!!!!
  • dan talking about embracing makeup was amazing and phil being totally down with it and immediately suggesting a smoky eye look and consulting some tutorials was also amazing and i hope thats something they’ve discussed before tbh
  • dan @ manly dan: ‘i mean i would.’ nice. dancest is real and it’s right before our eyes ppl
  • 8:28 dan saying he hates his current profile picture was so surprising and lovely when he gave his reason—it doesn’t reflect his natural curls. i’m honestly so pleased to hear that he views the natural hair as such an important change for him that he wants his display pic (something we know he spends way too much time thinking about and therefore treats as an incredibly important thing) to reflect this shift
  • 9:05 ahhhh the controversial dan reactions to phil’s ladybird selfie. here’s the thing. i think when dan says it’s a “really cringe selfie” he’s talking about the discomfort they both feel about doing posed/sultry shots. he corrects himself after phil protests that it’s not cringe to saying it’s only slightly cringe instead of really cringe, and that he should’ve included an ironic (i hate dan’s use of the word ironic so much bc he often uses it when what he really means is “sarcastic” or, in this case, self-deprecating/humorous) caption. when phil then says that he did use a funny caption, dan basically entirely revokes his criticism and says that phil actually “nailed it” w the photo/caption combination. basically i think both of them get embarrassed about the idea of unabashedly posing in an attractive way for photos and since they’re so close dan feels that embarrassment for phil as well. i don’t think he was saying he actually dislikes the selfie or that phil looks bad or unattractive or anything negative about phil himself. the only comment i did find questionable was when he almost said that the smile filter was an improvement!!! it seemed weird when compared to how much he disliked all the alterations to phil’s face on the first picture lol but then he also made fun of it so i didn’t take it to mean that dan literally thought the filter is an improvement to phil’s real face, just that it was pretty remarkable how cleanly the filters worked on that particular selfie
  • overall: really liked this!!!!!!! such a good intro to the new office!!! such a warm and chill lil vid where they were mostly casual and just being so soft and flirty w each other and basically calling each other cute in creative ways whats not to love about that it was great
“You have no right to come here to try and reclaim what you threw away” G.D

a/n: hey guys! I know, i’ve left you guys waiting for this for too long but i had surgery last monday so i’ve been on strict bed rest and in so much pain these couple of days. BUT, i finally got the energy to finish this draft so here it is! this is also the first time i’ve written smut so bare with me haha.  i hope this makes up for it!

warnings: contains sexual content!

word count: 2,713 words.


“Come on y/n, it’s time for the meeting”

You looked up from your desk and saw your best friend Sienna waiting for you by the door. You nodded and quickly gathered your things before heading with her to the conference room.

It had been a year and sixty-one days since you walked away from Grayson. A year and sixty-one days since you walked away from the relationship you had wanted to be your happily ever after. After that night, you decided to start your life over, away from him, from Ethan, from everything that reminded you of what you had had with Gray.

And by everything, you meant EVERYTHING. You decided to leave LA and move to New York, a small town called Saratoga Springs which is just a short drive to New Jersey where your family lived.

Just being in the same city as Grayson had been toxic. You were always afraid of bumping into him everywhere you went, sometimes even hoping of running into him because you missed him terribly. You knew an escape from the city you had grown to love would be the best thing for you and your newly broken heart.

Now you were in your second year of college and had a paid internship at a live entertainment company which had been your dream job for the longest. That was actually one of the things you and Grayson had had in common, you both had dreams of one day being involved in the entertainment industry as a career.

“So how’s Jacob doing? Sienna said, pulling you from your thoughts.

You smiled at the thought of your boyfriend. You were honestly so happy to have him in your life. He had helped you become the happy girl you used to be again and you were so thankful to have him, and yet, you sometimes felt like something was missing but you weren’t sure what it was. You figured time would tell you or show you what it was.

“We’re doing great, he’s actually taking me out to dinner after work for our five month anniversary” you couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of your adorably corny boyfriend.

“Ugh I don’t know how you can like corny guys” your best friend whined, “just the thought of it makes me wanna throw up”

“You just wait for the guy that’s gonna come and sweep you off your feet” you teased, “then you’ll be the one doing all these corny things with him and I’ll be laughing my ass off watching you”

Sienna pretended to throw up and shook her head profusely, “No thank you. What I can’t wait for is for the guys our bosses are meeting to get here. I heard from the girl in front desk that we’ll be left drooling after looking at them” she smirked, “Speaking of…”

You turned to the direction she was looking and saw the back of two guys. You didn’t know why, but you felt your stomach turn and your heart begin to race at the sight of them. They were about the same height, except one was just a tiny bit taller. The taller one was also a little more built than the other but they were both pretty muscular.

You both walked in and saw your bosses smile at the sight of you guys arriving.

“Y/N, Sienna, this is Ethan and Grayson. We will be producing their upcoming tour in the summer.”

You felt your heart stop when Grayson’s eyes met your own. In that moment you couldn’t move, you couldn’t think, you couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t believe he was standing right there in front of you. You had thought the chances of running into him again were slim to none, and therefore, you hadn’t been prepared for this moment.

His beautiful hazel-brown eyes, his short and yet wavy brown hair, his plump pink lips, the cute freckle on his chin; everything about him was exactly the same.

Millions of thoughts were running through your head, but one thing was clear to you, you needed to get out of there.

You felt Sienna look at you worriedly as you carefully set the documents down on the table and apologized before leaving the conference room in a hurry. You could hear your name being called in the distance, but you didn’t dare go back. You couldn’t.

You gathered your things as quickly as you could, not caring of the consequences you leaving could bring. You saw Sienna running over to your desk from the corner of your eye, so you tried to leave before she could reach you but she quickly blocked your path.

“Y/n what was that back there?” she asked, “and why are you so shaky?”

You hadn’t even noticed how shaky you truly were until she pointed it out. You were a mess and you knew you were close to reaching your breaking point.

“I’ll explain it later just… p-please let me go Si” you pleaded.

You could tell she was unsure of what to do, but you didn’t give her time to figure it out once you saw Grayson jogging over to where you both were. You ran the opposite direction to the nearest exit and got into the first taxi you saw, quickly giving your address to the driver.

As the taxi drove away, you saw Grayson run out of the building in the distance and stand there watching you drive away. You felt a few tears fall as it took you back to the night you left him, your heart breaking all over again in the process.

Once the driver parked outside your condo, you payed him and headed inside. Your mind had been racing the whole ride home, but it had also been completely blank as you tried to comprehend what had happened back in the office. You had realized something as soon as you had seen Grayson. You couldn’t deny the feelings you had felt when your eyes met his, you realized you still loved him. You finally realized what had been missing between you and Jacob and you hated it. You hated the fact that you still loved the guy who broke your heart. The guy who you had thought would never hurt you and yet left you completely broken.  

Your body felt like it was on autopilot, you felt yourself moving but your mind was elsewhere. It wasn’t until you lay on your bed that you finally let yourself cry. You wrapped your arms around yourself with one hand on your stomach and the other helplessly wiping the tears that fell from your face. You cried and cried for what felt like hours until you felt you had ran out of tears.

You knew you looked like a mess and boy did you feel like one too. You decided it was best to text Jacob and tell him it was better if you went to dinner some other day. You made up some lame excuse about feeling sick and hoped he wouldn’t be upset with you.

The hours went by as you just lay there, looking out the window. You were too tired too think and in too much pain to do anything other than staying in bed. Knowing you at least had to eat, you ordered a pizza with hopes to eat your pain and sorrows away.

You heard a knock on the door about twenty minutes later and frowned, “Well that was quick” you mumbled.

You took out a twenty dollar bill from your purse and headed to the door, only to be met with a nervous Grayson Dolan. You quickly shut your door and turned around, sliding down the door and pulling your knees up to your chest.

“Y/N please open up” you heard Grayson plead as he knocked on the door once again. You buried your face into your knees as your vision began to blur, you couldn’t believe he was here. How did he even find where you lived?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of more knocks, “Y/n please. We need to talk”

“No Grayson, you need to leave” you managed to say, “t-there’s nothing left for us to talk about”  

“Yes y/n, yes there is. Please. I-I’m begging you” he said. You heard his voice crack, as if he too was on the verge of tears.

You took a moment before getting back up and opening the door, facing a teary eyed Grayson. He looked so upset, so…. broken. But why? Why was he the one that looked brokenhearted when he was the one who tore your heart into pieces?

“What is it Grayson?” you asked.

You saw him look down, taking a few minutes to answer before you saying in almost a whisper, “I miss you

Your heart broke at his words because you too had missed him, but you knew you had to remain strong. You didn’t want to fall apart in front of him. Not like that night. Not again. “You miss me?”  you scoffed.

“Yes y/n I do! I’ve been a mess since you left” he looked back up and his eyes met yours once again, “I miss your smile, your beautiful y/e/c eyes, your contagious loud laugh, your good heart, I miss everything about you and… and I am so lost without you”

“And I know, I fucked up. I made you hurt and I made you cry more than anyone ever has when I was the one that was supposed to protect you from all of that. You were so good to me, you were perfect, but I took you for granted. I took your love for me for granted, and I-I’m so sorry for that” his voice cracked once again as a single tear fell from his cheek. “I wake up every morning with regret for everything I put you through, for letting you walk away.”

You saw him slowly step closer to you, afraid that any sudden movement would scare you away.  “I love you y/n”

“Gray…”

He gulped as his hand found its way to the side of your face, wiping the tears that were falling away.

Your eyes squeezed shut and you leaned into his hand, giving into the sensation his touch was giving you. You never thought you’d feel the warmth of his touch on your skin ever again, it felt surreal to you. You had missed it.

All of a sudden, an image of Jacob came to mind and you quickly brought yourself out of your daze; making you pulling away from him harshly “Please just leave. I’m done with talking about the past. I’m over it”

“No y/n, you’re not. Please. I-I know you still feel the same way I do.”

“Actually I don’t” you lied, “I-I’ve moved on Grayson. I have a boyfriend. A boyfriend that cares about me and makes me happy. I-I love him” More lies

You saw Grayson shake his head as some tears escaped his eyes, “I don’t believe you.”

“Look Grayson, you know what’s sad? It’s sad that you only want me when you can’t have me.” you took a shaky breath before continuing, “You have no right to come here to try and reclaim what you threw away. You just can’t.”

Grayson looked away from you, biting his lower lip as hard as he could. You could tell he was trying his hardest to keep the tears in. You wanted nothing more than to pull him into your arms, and tell him it was all a lie. Tell him that you still loved him but you knew you couldn’t, so instead you just stood there, watching him.

“Okay… Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re really over me y/n” he said as he took a step closer. “Tell me that my touch has absolutely no effect on you anymore”  

You felt him wrap an arm around your waist, pressing your body against his as his hand found its way to your face once again.

“I-I”

You saw a small smirk forming on his face at your loss of words. His face slowly leaned closer to yours, “if you’re really over me, then tell me to stop” he breathed, his lips hovering over your own.

“No Grayson!” you screamed as you pulled his arm from your waist, “I can’t do to Jacob what you did to me for months. I-I won’t”

“Please y/n, I love you” he begged, his tears slipping down his rosy pink cheeks.

“No Grayson just go” you grabbed the knob and moved back to pull the door closed, until you felt him smash his lips onto yours as he kicked the door closed behind him. The kiss absolutely took your breath away, he kissed you so slowly, so passionately.

You knew it was wrong, and a part of you wanted to stop him, but being with Grayson felt like finally being home; it felt right.

You wrapped yours arms around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. You could feel him smiling through it and it made your heart flutter.  

Next thing you know, clothes were carelessly being thrown all over your bedroom. Your back was pushed gently against your bed, you felt him showering your body with kisses as he unclasped your bra with ease, removing it, and then your underwear. You could tell, even if it had been over a year since you last saw each other, he hadn’t forgotten your body. He was licking, sucking, kissing all the right spots and it was driving you insane, to the point of gripping the sheets tightly and moaning his name so loudly, enough for the neighbors to hear.

“You’re so beautiful you know that?” he whispered as he positioned himself and slowly introduced his length inside of you. You whimpered at first, but with each thrust, the pleasure grew.

“G-Grayson” you breathed.

“Fuck y/n you feel so fucking good. I missed this.” he moaned as he placed his head on your chest as he thrusts harder into you.

Your toes began to curl, the pleasure beginning to be too much for you to take. “Grayson I’m close” you moaned, your hips rolling with his. Your nails scratching his back, making sure to mark him as your own once again.

“I am too baby girl, come for me. Come for daddy” he said as his thrusts began to get sloppy. Once you both climaxed, you felt your body shaking beneath his. You felt him kiss you lightly before collapsing in bed next to you and pulling you into his arms.

For a moment, you both lay there in complete silence. Neither one of you knew what this meant or would happen next, and if you were being truthful, you were scared to find out.

“Don’t choose him” he whispered softly.

“Gray-”

“Wait, just hear me out” He placed his finger on your chin as he lifted your face for you to meet his gaze. “ I know I fucked up before but I’m not making the same mistake ever again. Give me a second chance baby girl. I love you and I know I won’t be able to let you go after this. I don’t want to. ”

You waited a moment, letting his words sink in, before you brought his face down to yours and pressed your lips against his softly. “Okay” you nodded and smiled up at him, “I love you”

“I love you more y/n” He said as he gave you a toothy grin but it soon turned into a smirk as he hovered over you once again.

“How about we celebrate with a round 2 then?” you laughed at him raising his eyebrows at you and pushed him off.

“No Gray, as much as I would love to do this again, I want to break up with Jacob first. I feel horrible for doing this to him.” you sighed.

He nodded and pulled you back into your arms, his head resting on top of yours. “Do you think you can wait?”

“Are you kidding me? I’ll wait as long as you want me to baby girl” you smiled again as he gave you a peck on the lips and on your forehead, “I’m never letting you go again”


Hope you enjoyed!