ugh that's all

Sometimes I feel like I don’t really fit in with the Fanders community cause all of you are really nice and supportive and then there’s me who fightens over half the school with looks and attitude, imagines the very detailed murder of anyone who even slightly annoys me, has almost no empathy for other people, and can be kind of an asshole.

anonymous asked:

Hi, 7goodangel. I am here to ask you about PaperJam as a shy, smol and innocent being (mainly thegreatrouge made him be). There has been some conflicts regarding his trait. Some said his canonical personality is a jerk, like what you wrote in his bio / info and some said that is severely wrong and being shy, (which made him shipped with Fresh), is his canonical personality. What are your thoughts about this? I mean, it is your character and people are taking control of it. Don't you disagree?

Well… I have talked to people and seen public conversations and this has happened several times to me over months. I guess I’ve gotten a little numb to it now… or maybe it’s due to school that I haven’t given it the attention that it deserves. Probably due to school. 

I just can’t update constantly like others - even though some others in school were and are able to update constantly. I can’t keep going around and holding up my bio of PJ and police people. It’s exhausting to me… it really takes up the small bit of free time I have. 

I think after I get a solid job that I’ll be able to go around better… but anyway - back to your question. 


While I love seeing interpretations and do not want people to be limited by something and have their imaginations go forth… it’s proving that a huge con comes with that mentality - which you have pointed out. A lot of people swear that PJ is the cute, innocent interpretation that really, did get PJ popular in the first place. While I did have him as a jerk from the beginning - I kinda kept that info to my RP blog - so you could say it is my fault this is all happening and I do think that. I could of done something to make it not as bad as it is now… 

It’s just like the NSFW stuff… people just assume the first thing and run with it. And it really does make me feel like I really am not needed for my own character at points. 

It’s a struggle - I don’t want to have people stop interpreting PJ within AUs… but I also don’t want people to just see him as an innocent child to ship with Fresh. 

And I’m still trying to find the best solution to it. 

But… I feel like the damage is already done. It’s too late for me to talk to all of these people going around swearing on their life that PJ is canoncally like Rouge’s interpretation/AUs. It feels like an hopeless battle to me. 

And I guess I needed someone to ask me this question so then I can fully say my thoughts on this. 

So in short, while I love creativity and don’t want to snuff it out (considering some people would probably think I’m doing that already with saying “No Sin”), I still don’t like it. It irritates me, irks me, frustrates me, and I feel like even as the person who thought of PJ in the first place, my voice isn’t enough. Communities seem like they don’t care about artists unless they reach a ‘certain goal of popularity’ or seem like they have a more professional style of art. I know I do not reach either of those titles. 

People misspell my username all the time - I actually claimed ‘7goodangle’ on tumblr for that reason.

People still say “I’m too lazy to find who made PJ” when they clearly mentioned they looked at the bio on the wiki. 

People still go around arguing others on the canon ship of OmniPJ and swearing that FreshPaper is the true canon ship, when all people are pointing out is that they need to keep the canon ship in mind when going around with information.

Even just basic personality traits… and these things are happening on sites that I do not nor want an account for. 

I still want others to have fun - to be happy; but I don’t know… I guess I’m cutting out my own happiness to get everyone else happy? I want to eventually write a version of PJ within his own universe and story… and he is more like the version I created within the UT verse. Not exact - but close. Though who knows… I might shove PJ to the side and replace his role with another character. I’m still weighing options.

Cause PJ was the first character I ever put this much time and thought into… my first character that was balanced, well rounded…

And what happens?

…well.

You said it Anon. 

They took it - changed it (initially as an AU but now people think it’s canon) - and I can’t do much about it. Due to school and not much free-time… due to how many don’t know the true creator… and just back talking anyone who is just mentioning it to people who swear by it. 

As an artist and a character designer…

It makes me not want to show designs, characters, and stories ever again online.

Considering if this is how I was treated on the first one… why even take a chance at a second one? If it has brought me so much stress, frustration, and time… why even try it again?

I said I was only going to do fanart so if anyone stole it, it didn’t really matter. 
I think I should have stuck with that thought process. 

In conclusion, there are some major things to take away here. First – that yes, I do not like how it has skewed this far to the point of arguing over a fandom version with the canon. Canon is canon and I get the different AUs – this is too far. Way too far. I am emotionally drained from this – from this whole mess that I have been defending throughout majority of PJ’s lifespan. I will state this – Paper Jam is my character. He is my original character that I created more than a year ago. And the UT AU fandom took my character and warped him to something he is not and all of his original meaning is lost. I do not like to hurt others or make other sad – but I must put my foot fully down. This miscommunication needs to stop. I am tired of repeating things over and over and I have past my breaking point time and time again. I just want people to see PJ how he really is… and I wish that people could be focusing more on the reality of him instead of the alternate that they all claim as truth.

Final words: I still like Undertale – I still like creating characters and having fun – but the Undertale AU fandom is ridiculous now. The Amino UT community is insanity in an app, and there is a lot of stuff that has made many artists and creators to their breaking point and leaving the fandom entirely. Everyone in this fandom needs to take ten steps back and look at what they are doing. Go back to the game. Play it again – watch your favorite let’s player’s videos of it again. 

And just… food for thought… please don’t jump the gun on someone else’s OC’s personality and actions. 

I do not want anyone to experience what I had.

holmes interacts with irene for a grand total of… maybe an hour? he helps her marry her husband, and he rests in her sitting room for a few minutes

that’s it. that’s the entirety of their “relationship”

and yet somehow, here we are, with 126 years’ worth of he loves her he loves her he loves her!

4

bashes head through window tHIS TOOK SO LONG

Anyways, we know Reigen is pretty excellent at defending himself; he’s terrible at making real friends; and he once told Mob that he’d had a rough childhood…

Tragic backstory, anyone?

(lovely texture by @sandflakedraws!)

I understand that many Rika fans empathise with her and get defensive because they knew someone with a serious mental illness that was harmful to themselves/others around them, but I also find it extremely ironic and unfair that Jihyun fans who know victims of abuse or have been abused THEMSELVES are not expected to be defensive when someone tries to pass the victim off as a villain? We’re not even trying to say Jihyun is perfect, but the arguments I’ve seen are mindblowing! The absolute lack of tact when saying “all she did was scratch out his eyes”, as if she didn’t take away his vision, the very thing he used to pursue his photography career with passion and enjoy the sights of life and just live like a goddamn normal human being. Hell, I’m not even going to talk about the pain factor and how he didn’t bother to get them treated at all, guaranteeing certain blindness. Do you HAVE to invalidate someone’s abuse as a back up for your favourite character?

My aunt herself was a victim of abuse. Her husband had mental issues and depression, so he drank the pain away. And where I am, drinking alcohol is taboo, so he beat her up (a pregnant woman!) and she had to stay silent for both their sakes. Now, my aunt is not a perfect person and I can list off the top of my head 20 flaws she has, but similarly, she had a good heart; and even if she didn’t, NO ONE DESERVES THIS KIND IF TREATMENT.

I’m not even asking anyone to like V. Just. Can you maybe NOT invalidate the abuse he went through? No one seems to have trouble recognising Saeran’s abuse and Rika’s mental illness, yet the number of people dead set of insisting that V had it coming frankly makes me feel nauseous.

And to be frank, V’s unhealthy infatuation with Rika is stronly bordering on mental illness on itself. It stopped being any healthy definition of “love” and turned into a toxic, hurtful obsession the minute she hurt him and he still remained so determined to “save her”, as she had insisted before that “God cannot save me, but maybe [V] can”. His spiral into depression is really fucking obvious with the number of times he says he wishes he were dead: had I been on my laptop, some helpful screenshot’s from Zen’s route, day 10, would have been provided.

Thank you for reading my rant.
Note: I am bitter against Rika, I do not despise her and I think she deserves mental help; which, post secret endings, she appears to be getting anyway.
Also, I encourage arguments and debates but if you’re here to say “V did things wrong too”, save it. I know. This is literally irrelevant to the post, I never claimed he was perfect and all I did was state that he DOES NOT deserve what happened to him.

2

A Playlist For The Foxes! (spotify) // (youtube)

bonus track - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . we are the hearts - exgf . monsters - ruelle . bottom of the river - delta rae . cough syrup - young the giant . all those friendly people - funeral suits . who’s with us - current swell . comes and goes (in waves) - greg laswell . the ship in port - radical face . whisper - the dear hunter . the kids aren’t alright - fall out boy . renegades - x ambassadors . the funeral - band of horses . youth - daughter . use somebody - scala & kolacny brothers . home ii - dotan . young volcanoes - fall out boy . this is gospel - panic! at the disco . the greatest - sia . byegone - volcano choir . sleep in the heat - pup . long live - taylor swift (ft. paula fernandes on spotify)

Mood: wants to support the groups but doesn’t want to support companies that take advantage of young children and teenagers who would do anything to achieve their dreams and who get overworked, underpaid and abused 24/7

5

🌙 Mabon Ritual, 2017

Now whoever is giving Michael and Lindsay shit over the sex reveal can fUCKING STOP IT

2
  • player: *posts something on instagram not related to training during the off season*
  • some middle - aged man in the comment section that has not played hockey professionally: shouldn't you be training?? i can't believe you aren't training?? tRAIN

Can aphobes just shut the fuck up about Thomas already? The only reason you guys are trying to pin this man as a pedophile is because he thinks aces and aros belong in the LGBT community. He does not explicitly encourage minors to draw NSFW art of him, he was not aware that the artist was under 18 and has since corrected his behavior. He owned up to his mistakes, so why don’t y'all start doing the same?