ugh stop ruining my life

The Definitive Guide To My Baes

It’s a baelist…. Like a playlist? Geddit?

I’ll show myself out.

Presenting: 

PART I: SEBASTIAN STAN IS RUINING MY LIFE EDITION

Beefcake bae aka Civil War Bucky Barnes

Originally posted by thesebbystan

Large pretty man. Emotionally crippled Romanian beefcake. Very nice. 10/10 would bang.

Also goes by: Sebeefstian Stan; 100% Romanian beef.

Metal armed bae aka The Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes

Originally posted by angrymysticarchive

Pros: gorgeous hair, gorgeous eyes, thighs of betrayal, murder strut. Would probably choke me. Cons: actually a murderer. Would probably choke me. 10/10 have definitely thought about what he could do to me with that arm.

Also goes by: assassin bae.

Commando bae aka The First Avenger Bucky Barnes

Originally posted by rudylise

Delicious, medium-sized pouty man. May invite his best friend to *ahem* play. 10/10 would bang them both.

Also goes by: doesn’t-know-he’s-gay-bae.

Sad gay bae aka TJ Hammond

Originally posted by buckiys

Smol pretty man. Emotionally crippled former First Son. Sad puppy. Gay, but says that breasts are awesome. Here, TJ, have at mine. 10/10 would snuggle so hard.

Also goes by: White House bae; knows-he’s-gay-bae; cinnamon roll bae.

Broadway bae aka Hal Carter

Originally posted by ajl-bae

Can confidently add to the baelist without seeing Picnic. Looks as though he would take me to church like a good Southern boy and then fuck me in the choir loft. 10/10 would fuck every day of the week, even Sundays.

Also goes by: well-oiled bae; sinnamon roll bae.

Gymnast bae aka Lance Tucker

Originally posted by suivezlalune

I haven’t seen this movie yet, but I’ve seen THAT scene and that’s all I need to know. Definitely a guy who would say “it isn’t gonna suck itself”, but I definitely wouldn’t mind. 10/10 would play bongos on those delicious buns.

Also goes by: buns of steel bae; golden boy bae.

Dork bae aka Sebastian Stan

Originally posted by itsjustmycrazyvibe

Look at him. 10/10 would make him breakfast every day and nerd out with him over stupid shit like mee-mees and gifs.

Originally posted by love-buckybarnes

Look how much baelist real estate he takes up ugh someone stop this man.

In all seriousness, the 2011 movie version of Tintin was the most frustratingly attractive animated character ever

I mean, LOOK AT HIM

LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIFULLY HYPNOTIC EYES

AND THAT PERFECT JAWLINE

AND THOSE AMAZING HANDS

AND THAT UNBELIEVABLY GORGEOUS SMILE

AND THAT INFURIATINGLY SEXY SMIRK

AND THAT LOVELY GINGER HAIR JUST BEGGING TO BE RUFFLED

AND ASLKDFJSLIEUAROWEAJWKLFJWEIRU THAT MOUTH UGGGH

AND GOOD LORD THOSE ARMS FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

AND LOOK AT THE RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF SWAG HE HAS WHILE JUST CHILLING IN HIS CAR

AND WHEN HE’S SITTING IN THIS RANDOM BEACH CHAIR

AND SEE HOW *&$!*@#$*#ING HOT HE IS WHILE HOLDING A GUN

AND WHEN HE’S WET AND HOLDING A GUN

AND WHEN HE’S WET AND ANGRY AND HOLDING A GUN

SCREW YOU WETA DIGITAL WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM SO PERFECT I HAVE HAD NO SANITY FOR THE PAST 2 ½ YEARS BECAUSE OF THIS DAMN FLAWLESS CGI MASTERPIECE OF GODLY HOTNESS NOW I WILL NEVER FIND AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE MAN BECAUSE I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS THING YOU CREATED THAT’S EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN THE ACTOR WHO PLAYED HIM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU STOP RUINING MY LIFE

Just UGH I CAN’T IT’S NOT FAAAAIRRRRRRR

*headdesk*

4

Jarbie Appreciation Week: [Day 6] → Favorite happy scene
2.10 || The Fall

-Are you having second thoughts? 
-Not about leaving. No.
-About what?
-We met because of the dome. And we never really talked about
you and me out in the world.
-Julia. Hey. I want you in my life
whether we end up in Zenith or wherever.
That's a promise that I can keep.
-Good.