movies that should exist: a pride & prejudice modern adaptation starring mindy kaling as elizabeth bennet & jessica chastain as darcy fitzwilliam
“ugh. you LOVE me?” “don’t make that face. it’s not like i want to. you’re loud and you talk too much about television for an adult and every single member of your family has friended me on facebook despite the fact that i’ve never spoken to most of them, and most of them have very poor punctuation. in fact, this whole situation is very embarrassing. like herpes. but like herpes, i don’t think it’s curable without taking action. so here i am. telling you. i love you.” “can you even hear yourself right now?” “so … what are your thoughts?” “what are my thoughts? about your i-love-you-like-herpes speech?? which, p.s., herpes is incurable. that shit’s always gonna flare up again.” “exactly. the metaphor is appropriate.”
I AM SO OVERWHELMED BY THE FEELINGS IN MY HEART RIGHT NOW. MY TINY HEART IS TOO TINY FOR THIS NONSENSE LIKE WHAT IN THE FUCK
EMMA IS MAKING FUCKING PANCAKES
IN A ROBE AND WE ALL FUCKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE WHILE KILLIAN WALKS UP BEHIND HER IN AN UNBUTTONED VEST WHICH LBR IS BASICALLY HIM BEING NAKED LIKE THE NUMBER OF LAYERS ON THIS MAN AT ALL TIMES IS ABSURD BUT LIKE
THIS IS TOO MUCH. I CANNOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT IT.
THIS IS LIKE THE FUCKING SUN. I AM BLINDED BY THE JOY AND THE HAPPINESS AND THE CONTENTMENT AND THE WAY HE’S GRINNING INTO HER SKIN AND THE WAY SHE BITES HER LIP. THIS IS AHHHHHHHHH MAKE IT STOP
AND SHE LIKE FUCKING POUNCES ON HIM AND HER HANDS DON’T FUCKING STOP MOVING AND HER LIPS ARE SO INSISTENT AND
SHE KEEPS FUCKING PULLING HIM CLOSER AND CLOSER AND WHAT T H E F U C KKKKK I CANNOT HANDLE THIS EVEN A LITTLE
ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW WILD HER HAIR IS? SHE CLEARLY JUST WOKE UP AND CAME DOWN TO MAKE THEM BOTH PANCAKES BECAUSE THEY MUST BE STARVING AND HE GOT DRESSED HALF WAY AND CAME DOWN TO FIND HER WHEN HE SMELLED ALL THE NICE THINGS AND THEN HE SEES HER WITH HER HAIR ALL WILD AND HER FACE ALL FRESH AND GLOWY AND HAPPY AND WHO CAN BLAME HIM FOR WANTING TO KISS HER OK?
OK BUT WHAT KILLS ME THE DEADEST IS THAT SHE PULLS AWAY JUST SO SHE CAN LOOK AT HIM. CLEARLY SHE WANTS TO KEEP KISSING HIM BUT IN THAT MOMENT, SHE NEEDS SO SEE HIS FACE, TO SEE AGAIN HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER AND WHAT SHE HAS NOW AND I CANNOT LOOK AT HIS SMILE THIS IS TOO MUCH *SHIELDS EYES*
GUYS, GUYS, GUYS. I THINK SHE LOVES HIM.
AND I THINK HE LOVES HER.
SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY AND SHE LOOKS SO YOUNG HERE AND SO HAPPY AND IN LOVE AND SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH OMG
HE CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER BECAUSE WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT RIGHT?
AND THEN SHE’S LIKE FUCK WAIT MUST GET BACK TO THE KISSING. HE’S SO GOOD AT THE KISSING. MUST TOUCH SOFT LIPS AGAIN.
AND UGH IT STARTS SO SOFT BUT PICKS UP SO FUCKING QUICK LIKE WTF AND HE JUST RESPONDS WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT LIKE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND WANT EACH OTHER SO MUCH, IT MAKES MY HEART MELT ALSO SEEING THAT RING ON HER FINGER IS HURTING MY EYES AGAIN.
THE HANDS, THE HANDSSSSSS
WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE POOR FANGIRLS?! WHY WOULD YOU KISS THIS WAY?! WITH THE FRANTIC PULLING EACH OTHER CLOSER AND THE HANDS THAT WON’T STOP TOUCHING. WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME THIS WAY YOU ASSHOLES?!
I CAN’T TAKE IT BECAUSE THEY’RE SMILING THE ASSHOLES DO THEY NOT KNOW WHAT THIS IS DOING TO MY SMALL TINY HEART?!
TO HELL WITH THE PANCAKES. YASSS EMMA, YASSSSS.
AND SHE FUCKING PUSHES HIM INTO THE TABLE AND SHE’S PROBABLY BETWEEN HIS LEGS RIGHT NOW AND HIS HAND IS RUNNING UP AND DOWN HER BACK AND HIS HOOK IS HOLDING HER STEAD BECAUSE SHE CANNOT STOP MOVING HER HANDS
AND LIKE FUCKING SOMEONE HAS TO KEEP THEM FROM FALLING ONTO THE TABLE BUT BY THE LOOKS OF IT, EMMA TOTALLY WANTS KILLIAN TO FALL ONTO HIS BACK RIGHT THERE OK?! LIKE NOPE LET’S JUST DO THE DO RIGHT HERE. SMOOSHING BOOTIES ON THE DINING TABLE.
AND LOL THE SHOCK! THEY’RE SO DAZED THIS IS HILARIOUS
AND KILLIAN SAYING LIKE OH YOUR MOTHER HAS A KEY. THAT’S GOOD INFORMATION. YES OK. TRY TO CALM DOWN NOW.
THE SHOCK AND THE WIDE EYES LOLOLOL
BUT OK I FUCKING LOVE HOW EMMA JUST LOOKS AMUSED PRETTY MUCH THROUGH THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE BECAUSE THOUGH SHE REALLY, REALLY WANTS TO DO THE DO WITH HER FIANCE IN THEIR HOUSE (WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID WE GET HERE FROM CLIMBING A BEANSTALK TOGETHER ONE TIME FUCK FUCK FUCKKKK)
SHE NEVER THOUGHT SHE’S HAVE THIS EITHER? HER MOTHER ACCIDENTALLY WALKING IN ON THEM AND LIKE IT’S LIKE EMBARRASSING OR WHATEVER BUT SHE’S JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY TO HAVE ALL THIS IN HER LIFE NOW? THESE MOMENTS OF PEACE AND LOVE AND SILLINESS
AND LOL SHE’S LIKE NOOOO AND KILLIAN IS LIKE HAHAHA YES WE WERE ABOUT TO BANG YOUR MAJESTY. I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM RN LOL ALSO I LOVE THAT THOUGH SNOW IS RIGHT THERE, EMMA STRAIGHT UP DOEAN’T MOVE FOR FUCKING AGES AND JUST KEEPS RUNNING HER HANDS OVER KILLIAN’S SHOULDERS, SOOTHING HIM AND TOUCHING HIM STILL AND KILLIAN’S HAND DOESN’T MOVE FROM HER WAIST EITHER
LIKE DESPITE THE DISCOMFORT, IT’S ALSO SUCH A COMFORTABLE MOMENT?! IT’S SO DOMESTIC AND ORDINARY AND EMMA IS STILL STROKING KILLIAN’S ARM HERE AND I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN *CRIES TEARS OF BLOOD* AND THEY ONLY FUCKING STAND WHEN SNOW IS LIKE UMM PANCAKES LOLOL
AND THIS ASSHOLE LOLOLOL HE IS SO UNAMUSED. I’VE LOST MY APPETITE. BRACING FUCKING SHOWER HE SAYS LOLOLOL
THIS CHEEK KISS, THE PANCAKES, THE KILLIAN’S HAND ON HER WAIST AGAIN. THE DOMESTICITY OF IT ALL
LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS. DO YOU SEE IT? DO YOU SEE THE JOY IN HER EYES?! SHE’S SO HAPPY GODDAMNIT
*THROWS ALL THE THINGS*
THIS IS TOO MUCH. I CANNOT HANDLE THIS. FUCKING FUCK FUCKKK
Thoughts on 13 Reasons Why characters and a rating of how much I dislike them from 1 being “my baby!!!!” to 10 being “FUCK THEM THEY CAN ROT”
Hannah Baker: Didn’t deserve everything she went through especially rape. She pushed some people away though and sometimes she was kind of idk how to word it but I didn’t like stuff about her at times. Either way she deserved so much better than what she got. Deserved to be happy with Clay. 2/10.
Clay Jensen: Will fight anyone for Hannah. He was so shy around her and didn’t know what to do whenever he was with her, he’s so precious. Sometimes there were some things he did that didn’t sit right with me but he definitely deserved a happy ending with Hannah Baker; they deserved to be happy and in love and ugh. Also… took like 4823707592 years to listen to the tapes? 2/10.
Tony Padilla: Gay POC which I love because we need more of them. I love him he was so patient with Clay and all he ever did was try and protect Hannah’s wishes. Glad he shared the tapes with Hannah’s parents because they deserved to know why she killed herself instead of being left in the dust wondering why. I was always so happy when he came on screen. CLAY LISTEN TO THE GODDAMN TAPES. 1/10.
Jeff Atkins: My pure cinnamon roll, didn’t deserve to die because of a stupid girl who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. I hate how nobody including his parents and except Clay never knew he wasn’t drunk that night he died. Just wanted Clay and Hannah together. Your fave is problematic: uses “unique” 7 times in an essay. -5435973495797/10. I love him forever, hes so great. Never did anything bad.
Justin Foley: Didn’t deserve the home life he had BUT i really hated him for what he did to Hannah and the fact that he’s a rape enabler and a rape apologist like he literally let his best friend rape his unconscious girlfriend, covered up for him, and lied to her about it and then when she found out, he STILL was justifying what he and Bryce did by telling her that he didn’t tell anyone because Bryce does all this shit for him. KNEW that whatever happened at that party was fucking Jessica up but didn’t come forward until the very end. Claims he cared for her but you don’t do that shit to someone you claim you care about. Fuck him for that. 8/10.
Jessica Davis: She was so cool and nice in the beginning but then I hated how she got mad at Hannah and slapped her for the list instead of Alex, like really??? You think she asked to be on that list?? PLEASE. But after all that, she was still nice towards her and was never ill-mannered when it came to Hannah. Also, can we talk about how she didn’t deserve to be raped??? Justin Foley DEFINITELY didn’t deserve her. YOU GO GIRL. TELL HIM YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN. 5/10.
Alex Standall: He made some poor decisions making that list for a stupid reason and then letting Hannah pay the price. I somewhat like him though. I think he was a redeemable character and had a conscience (although it was too late, rip Hannah Baker) and felt that he needed to own up to it and tell the truth, was ready for whatever penalty he was gonna get. Was the only one (for a while) who thought what the others were trying to do was stupid. He definitely deserved better too, he didn’t deserve to shoot himself (or in other theories, didn’t deserve to be shot by Tyler). Please be okay…please be alive, baby. 4/10.
Courtney Crimsen:GIRL, BYE. I hate and will always hate her character so much. Her and Bryce should just rot. She was a rape apologist and only cared about herself. Like girl I get that coming out is hard, I haven’t even done it, but to fuck up Hannah’s life like that? Are you serious? Justified Bryce’s actions to hide her truth. And she fucked up Jessica’s life too, in my opinion. She tried so hard to convince herself (and others) that Hannah was lying, Bryce isn’t a rapist, and that Jessica was never raped just so she can stay in the fucking closet. Like there’s nothing wrong with being gay. And she has two gay dads for fucks sake. 10/10 would always hate her again.
Zach Dempsey: I think he genuinely liked Hannah but after all the shit Hannah had been through and the fact that his friends were his friends, I definitely see Hannah’s side of why she shot him down. I think he, himself, was lonely too but in different way; just because someone’s popular doesn’t mean they’re not lonely. Didn’t get compliments so he stole Hanah’s when she needed it most (I hate how he did that ugh like WHY…did you really need it?). Redeemable character, though. Also…HE KEPT HANNAH’S NOTE IN HIS WALLET!!! 5/10.
Tyler Down: Fuck him. A fucking creep. Like, he stalked people and took pictures of them when they were unaware (especially Hannah) and when she confronted him, HE FUCKING SENT THE PICTURE TO EVERYONE. Claims he “loved” Hannah but really?? FUCK HIM. Why did he even have so much guns? I’m pretty sure he’s planning a school shooting…fucking psychopath…”I can take care of myself” BOY BYE. And if he did shoot Alex, FUCK HIM EVEN MORE. 9/10.
Ryan Shaver: Didn’t respect Hannah’s wishes. Only cared about himself and poetry. Didn’t even care that Hannah didn’t want her shit to get out. I only liked him whenever he said Bryce is a rapist and that Courtney should just shut the fuck up and stop justifying Bryce’s actions. 8/10.
Marcus Cole: He cared more about himself and his reputation more than anyone. Thought he was the shit. Sexually assaulted Hannah then called her easy for refusing. 9/10.
Sheri: I liked her and she was genuinely nice but she crashed the stop sign and left a drunken Hannah at the scene and fled. Caused Jeff to die and I hate her for it. Though she reported it because she knew it was the right thing to do, it was already waaay too late. 6/10 because of Jeff.
Bryce: Rapist. Douchebag. Scum of the earth. He didn’t even think what he did was wrong. He raped two fucking girls and didn’t even feel remorse. He just thought every girl wanted him and that was that. I hate him so much, he can die. 102804802020x100000/10.
Mr. Porter: Could have tried better to stop Hannah from killing herself. She was set on suicide until she had doubts and needed just one person to help her and the one person she came to didn’t care enough to chase after her when she left his room that day. Worst. Guidance Counselor. Ever. 8/10.
- Yuri don’t let yourself get baited into a dance
batt- I SAID DON’T GET BAITED INTO A DANCE BATTLE! GODDAMNIT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO
BE MEETING SPONSERS!
- Victor! Mila! Stop encouraging them! AND STOP
- Victor you’re not even drunk! STOP DANCING WITH
THE SLOPPY DRUNK
- Why is there a stripper pole in here? Why is
this allowed to get out of hand? WHERE THE HELL ARE CHRIS AND THIS DRUNK’S
- Victor! DON’T LET DRUNKS HUMP YOU IN FRONT OF
SPONSERS! NO, YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS ROOM! I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK
YOU’RE IN LOVE HE’S DRUNK AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT! I’LL TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS ROOM
BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY MORE BAD DECISIONS.
- *sends Celestino a strongly worded email about
keeping an eye on his pupils in the future the next morning*
- Victor stop. Stop pining. You aren’t in love. No
I don’t believe in love at first sight and I certainly don’t believe in love at
first drunken humping. You’re right I’m not taking this seriously. He hasn’t
contacted you because he was DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND! Did you see how much booze
he downed? It’s a wonder he didn’t die of alcohol poisoning. Just stfu and
- Victor no. It’s not a message. Victor no! Don’t
give up your career for an ill-advised booty call! UGH if I can’t stop you just
make sure our Yuri doesn’t find out where you went.
- WHY ARE YOU IN JAPAN TOO YURI! I COULDN’T STOP
VICTOR MAKING AN ILL-ADVISED BOOTY CALL BUT YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE ATTEMPTING
THAT! YEAH SURE YOU’RE NOT THERE FOR THAT I’VE SEEN YOUR ROOM! …NO ONE HAS 30
POSTERS OF SOMEONE IN THEIR ROOM BECAUSE THEY ‘HATE THEM JUST SO MUCH’ YOU’RE
FOOLING NO ONE KID!
- OMFG did you really give him a program about the
night he got sloppy drunk and you turned into even a bigger moron? You’re going
to put me into an early grave.
- MILA! STOP POKING THE SMOL ANGRY CHILD! HIS
SCREECHING HURTS MY EARS!
- Wait, why the hell do I have to go live with my
ex-wife and the angsty teen? I don’t want to have to listen to a list of my
failures or a catalogue of all the ways Drunk Yuri is the worst especially as
it tends to devolve into ‘stupid pig, how dare he be so good looking’.
- Victor stop trying to pretend this isn’t an
elaborate booty call. This is not how coaching works.
- I have the living legend who gave it all up to
be a pretend coach in order to get with a sloppy drunk, a sadist of a female
skater who stirs up trouble on purpose, an angsty teen who can’t tell the
difference between having a crush and hating someone and an emo skater who is
far too old to be as emo as he is. Kill me now.
- Maybe I was giving Victor a disservice. His
student is actually doing quite well and maybe they are taking it seriously and
HOLY FUCK NEVERMIND JUST KISS YOUR STUDENT IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD
VICTOR YOU ASSHAT
- Yuri has calmed down and I’m just going to
ignore Victor. Yep that’ll work OMFG did you HAVE TO KISS HIS FUCKING SKATE?!?
THIS IS WHY YOU WEREN’T ALLOWED TO TAKE HIM BACK TO THE HOTEL ROOM! YOU HAVE NO
- You want me to what? Be his coach? Well…only
because I like Maccachin.
- You’re alright actually, I hereby allow you the
name Japanese Yuri instead of Drunk Yuri. You may be the only sane person I
know surprisingly. I still am going to tell you off for fucking up though.
- ….I take it all back. WTF was up with all the
- …They got engaged. Victor really is going to
marry him….I’m not even surprised at this point. Fine. Keep him Japanese Yuri.
He’s a pain in the ass anyway.
- YES! I AM A PROUD DAD/COACH! HAPPIEST I’VE BEEN
THIS WHOLE YEAR
- WTF? You’re coming back now? Idek what’s going
- Well done Yuri! I’m so proud of you for winning
- …They are doing a super romantic pairs skate
because of course they are.
- Okay so Victor is coming back to Russia to train
cool….wait what do you mean you’re still going to coach Japanese Yuri? WTF? HOW
WOULD THAT EVEN WORK? WTF NO.
Post Episode Twelve
- STOP FLIRTING IN THE RINK! WHY GOD WHY AM I
- STOP GROPING HIM VICTOR THERE ARE CHILDREN
- YURI P STOP THROWING THINGS EVERY TIME THEY FLIRT
- they played sigur ros right before they started the show and i swear to god if i find out someone in vixx loves sigur ros i will die and go straight to fangirl heaven
- hyuk cried so hard during his thank you speech that he just put his head down so the camera couldnt see him for about 20 seconds and then choked out a “th…ank you…”
- hongbin’s solo blew everyone’s mind. seriously, this kid has grown so much and his voice is absolutely stunning. like i still cant get over it, it was AMAZING.
- i swear im a hakyeon bias guys, but hyuk stole the show omfg his solo was perf too ugh like dream boy material <3
- speaking of hakyeon, the fans had to let him know he had a little wardrobe malfunction lol (his fly was down) he was hilarious about it
- ken said “싫어" with aegyo and hakyeon literally stopped him midsentence and was like ‘KEN, HOW OLD ARE YOU? IS THIS OKAY FOR YOUR AGE TO BE TALKING LIKE THAT?’ and ken took a dramatic pause and then answered “yes” in the aegyo-est voice evar
- hakyeon said instead of having a happy ending with us he wants to have a (in english) “happy continue” :’)
- taekwoon refused to leave the stage aaaaas usual and kept making them play the chorus of the final song over n over (he did this last concert too) plus was super out of breath after dancing to the older songs idky hahaha
- ravi was brilliant as usual and looks more n more like ryan gosling with each day
-i sat next to about 5 boys who i assume were jellyfish male trainees and guys….we’re done for. one looks like a mini hakyeon but worse. they dangerous. get out of the fandom while u stiil can.
im forgetting so much but i need to shower n sleep so UPDATE LATERS
-2 years before the wall? Wait is this like a baby bat Rhys POV?
-oh God this field isn’t a nice place. Kinda like it tho.
- omfg 6 High Fae… 6, to defeat one Illyrian… damn.
- Rhys is so protective if his brothers it’s killing me.
-AGH PART ONE HERE I FUCKING COME.
-Yes Feyre, burn this shit.
-Already thinking about that wingspan Feyre? Can’t blame ya.
- Ugh Tamlin no can you not enter this moment just yet. Ugh Lucian I’m fucking watching you.
-Oh for Fuck sake I gotta read about Ianthe soon to?
-ugh I just want some smut and it’s only page nine.
-Feyre you can roll your eyes. God knows I am.
- Oh hey Ianthe, go Fuck yourself Ianthe.
-You definitely revived something from Rhys hands Feyre, but it was far more pleasurable than torture.
-Lucian I won’t ship you and Elaine. But please, for the love of God, kill Ianthe.
-Oh hell fucking ni, Jurian, go fucking Fuck yourself and stay the Fuck away.
-Oh snap, Nesta and Elaine already so powerful they can drain the cauldron.
-Oh snap, Feyre laying down these facts. Also that’s how I spell Miryaim’s name.
-Feyre you savage.
-Jurian, talk about Elaine like that again and I will kill you.
-Oh Fuck off Ianthe, I’ve read enough of you.
-Okay Lucian, my heart is softening towards you.
-God I missed you Alis.
-Damn summer solstice is giving me goosebumps.
-Rhys you are giving me life.
-Uh Oh, Tamlin’s getting jealous of friendship.
-YOU FUCKING BURNED THEIR WINGS.
-Ahhh Feyre you also cringing about Elaine being fucked by a fire blooded male?? Let me introduce to Azriel. He’s far better in my opinion.
-All these painting titles… we’re they like, working title for Acowar.
-Rhysand you get that tongue to work.
-Also Tam you prick.
-TAMLIN YOU MOTHERFUCKING PRICK HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A WHIPPING.
-God Alis, my bae.
-Feyre slit her throat.
-Yes Feyre Fuck this bitch up.
-Oh these twins. Can you fucking not.
- Go Lucian Go.
-Bring on Part Two.
-“He can get in line,” Feyre getting a list of people who wanna kill her to rivals Aelins.
-Oh for Fuck sake, everything was going so well, until Lucian’s brothers showed up.
-OMG CASSIAN YOU’RE BACK.
-AZRIEL MY CUPCAKE.
-“There’s no such thing as a High Lady,” bitch excuse me.
-Cassian you melt my stone cold heart.
-Mor my darling.
-OMG IT’S HAPPENING, RHYS IS COMING.
-Amren, boo. Hru?
-Lucian being called a girl, I’m dying
-“Go find somewhere else to be,” I know what that means.
-The smut was worth it.
-Oh I missed the banter of my baby bats.
-And Rhys’ swearing begins.
-Cassian sunning his wings. I wonder if a certain Nesta sees.
-Cassian trying to be chill around Nesta is my new aesthetic.
-Nesta reads romance. Hell Yes.
-“You come between a male and his mate, Nesta Archeron, and you’re going to learn about the consequences the hard way.” Trying to foreshadow something there Cassian? I Ship.
-No is mentioning the sorrow and longing in Cassian eyes, Feyre, for the same reason no one mentioned it when Rhys looked at you all those months ago.
-Reading about Elaine is painful.
-I’m relating to Elaine and all those open curtains too much… shit.
-Cassian you’re to precious.
-I missed the Amren/Cassian banter so much.
-Shit Mor is getting pissed.
-Feyre keeps calling Rhys mate and I’m feeling bad for the Australian readers.
-“Because I can’t stay away” well Fuck me if they ain’t mates.
-Nesta looking as Cassian like he’s the only one in the room.
-Damn right there was a reason Lucian wore a fox mask.
-Idk what to write but the nessian at pg.203. gahhhhhhh.
-“Surely Nesta wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle,” omfg Feyre, it’s hilarious of you to think that.
-Feyre were you not there for Acomaf. He was very clearly, cocky then.
-Library sex? I’m in.
-oh, so no library sex.
-To the Bone Carver we go. RIP.
-Oh so, the Carver, and the Wearer are- I’d be shocked only I read that spoiler.
-Oh so the Carver is a mirror type of perosn? What even is a mirror person? Is it his kink?
-Oh Nesta having death powers.
-Feyre constantly calling Rhys mate tho.
-Tbh all I wanna know is who or what the carver appeared to Cassian.
-Everyone in this book be complementing Rhys good taste.
-Ah Az and Elaine be starting. Az be carrying his ship.
-Poor Cassian. Nesta will come around, I promise, I read the spoiler.
-YES AZRIEL SHOW HER THE GARDEN. I’VE READ THIS SPOILER PAGE SO MUCH AND NOW IT’S MINE.
-You know, I wrote a fanfiction about Az and Elaine in a garden and her calling his scars pretty. They kissed in it.
-“Azriel isn’t the ravishing type,” Rhys you should read the fanfic I wrote about him. He loves to ravish.
-omg Cassian calming Nesta- ugh how many more pages until this kiss?
-Az, sunning your wings for Elaine? How scandalous.
-“Why not make them mates?” Feyre babe I’m asking the same question.
-FEYRE YOU SHIP ELRIEL TOO? Oh sweetie I love you more than Cassian rn.
-Rhysand, let Feyre play matchmaker.
-I was about to bash Kier for insulting Az, but Az got this shit.
-Oh not this fucking Eris bitch again.
-Rhys the Fuck you playing at?
-Okay, ngl I know Mor is gay but those Eris know? Ffs.
-Okay everyone is fighting and I’m more intrigued than I should be.
-Double d'aw Elriel.
-Pg.303 and back to sassy Az.
-Sassy Az KS giving me life.
-It was at page 306 that I realised I was in love with Az.
-Nephelle’s be giving me goosebumps.
-Yes bathtub scent with Rhys.
-Oh it’s actually a massage scene? I’m in.
-Feyre are you trying to start a war? Cassian flying with Nesta. Dammit who am I kidding I wanna see that.
-Yes Az, help Elaine in the garden. I am sailing this ship.
-Nesta watching Cassian lick his fingers and I’m like, now imagine that kissing elsewhere.
-Nes? I ship.
-Some shit happening in the library.
-ohhhh so we finally reached the part where people wonder if Elaine is a seer.
-Yes Feyre, put Elaine’s riddles together.
-Okay that scene was intense but Nessian at the end was calming.
-“Amren on the hunt,” a novel by sjm.
-Damn Az, took you awhile but bravo, she’s a seer. God it couldn’t be any easier to love you.
-Lucian I swear to God if you die, looking for this sixth queen, I will kill you.
-Also where is my Suriel.
-Shit Alis don’t die.
-oh FFS, look, “king” of Hybren, old buddy. If you’d kindly fuck off. Only it’s late, I don’t need these plot twists.
-Look, “King,” I’d pay good money to see you try and take Feyre.
-Rhys if you could destroy my upcoming exams the way you did those ships, I’d be grateful.
-pg.379, more smut, hell yes.
-pg.381, Nesta all concerned.
-The amount of sex feysand are having. That wingspan must be truly impress you Feyre darling.
-So Cassian is terrible at complements.
-Ah yes boys, bringing up that wingspan again.
-This Nessian tho.
-“she threatened to freeze my balls off,” Kallias, Viviane, welcome to my heart.
-I’m in love with Viviane.
-God sake, Tamlin Fuck off.
-Tamlin, let me tell you, Rhys and Feyre have fucked so much I’m sure he could recount every noise she is capable of making.
-Fucking shut up Tamlin.
-Eris if you’d kindly shut the Fuck up too, it’d be a pleasure.
-Pg.438, Nesta, damn, *blows kisses.*
-nvm of 439, Go Feyre. Slay.
-Helion…. wait… look I can’t go around loving all these people. It makes me look like I have a heart.
-You know I’d be surprised at Lucian being a whole, some air of dawn court, but I already read that spoiler.
-Okay mor is gay why is- you know what, never mind, I give up.
-Oh. Oh Fuck.
-lol, I’m so tired, whenever I hear the wall mentioned all I can think of is humpty dumpty.
-“Don’t even start,” Nesta, sweetie, we’ve been shipping this since the last book.
-Part three here I come.
-btw this is still the same day for me. I’ve read up to part three in a few hours. It’s two in the morning. Never underestimate a fangirl deprived of her smut.
-Jurian just has to show up, doesn’t he.
-idk who I am to believe anymore.
-I wanna say Fuck this shit I’m out. But I am so in.
-So am I meant to trust Jurian or not.
-Nessian will kill me quicker than these plot twists.
-Ayyy more shut, god I love you Sarah.
-Yes, the Suriel is coming into play bitches. I’d been surprised by what happens only I’ve seen this spoiler too.
-Okay first thing first, Ianthe please Fuck off Secondly rip Suriel 2K17.
-Cassian what happened. Nesta please. I know the ending and shit but tf happened.
-Feyre be joining up these dots about which way Mor floats.
-This, Varian, Amren thing, yeah I’d like another five books of it.
-Awww, Az, you’re to sweet and selfless.
-I’m so tired IDK how to feel anymore.
-Oh greatttt, Feyre got hit with an arrow. Any more plot twists.
-Wait Tamlin? Fuck, ugh.
-d'aw, Elaine kissed his cheek.
-it’s four in the morning. I have less than one hundred pages left.
-Fucking hell Elaine stab them bastard.
-Also Nessian hell yes.
-Also…wait what’s happening.
-Rhysand you fucking bastard it’s five in the morning don’t do this to me. I know you live god dammit don’t fucking do this.
-oh thank fuck that’s all settled.
-This book. These plot twists. These ships. It’s all so heart wrenching and shit.
-Wait is she flying over Velaris in her lingerie.
-Fuck it’s half five in the morning. I read this book in under 24 hours. I need to sleep.
-omfg I need to read this shit again. It was so good. The High Lords, the banter, the near death experiences. The romance. The sass. Sarah you queen.
-if the at least the novellas don’t have nessian or Elriel tho I may be tempted to cry.
And that, my friends, is a snippet of the roller coaster if thoughts and emotions I went through. I was too tired to cry during it but my heart was successfully ripped out a few times.
I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words, I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here. Rose, you’ve got to stop this, you’ve got to stop this now! You’ve got the entire vortex running through your head. You’re gonna burn! I want you safe, my Doctor. Protected from the false god.
Summery: Okay so in this imagine you are a pretty big actor who has made quite a few movies. You’re pretty famous and well known. A HUGE fan of Spiderman and Tom Holland, which Ellen knows. Little do you know that Tom is a huge fanboy of you as well. So, Ellen decided to play matchmaker and see if she can make her two guests fall in love.
Key: (Y/N)= Your name (Y/L/N) = your last name (C/F/N)=Celebrity friend name (S/N) =Ship Name (O/C/F) =other celebrity friend
You pace back and forth in your dressing room, trying your best to calm your nerves before going on live television. This isn’t he first time you will have been on television, but it is the first time you’ll be on the Ellen show.
You had met Ellen at the last Emmy awards and you two had gotten along quite well, even becoming friends.
The blonde invited you to be on the show after she saw the trailer for your latest film “Falling For a Lost Cause” about making the most out of life and love. It was kind of ironic how you played in a dramatic love story and yet had nobody for yourself to love. Well, romantically that is.
Unless you count your obsession over Tom Holland.
You had been a huge Spiderman fan ever since you were younger when you used to steal your brother’s comic books, and now that they’d come out with another reboot of the movie, you could honestly say you were in love. Toby and Andrew had also taken a toll on you as you spent countless night dreaming about them, but when Tom Holland was announced as the new web slinging hero, you fell head over heels. It may have been due to the fact that he was closer in age than the other two, or maybe it was the way his chocolate brown orbs could make you melt.
You had almost met him once. You were invited to the Doctor Strange premiere and saw the man of your dreams doing an interview, being his nerdy self.
When your close friend (C/F/N) finally pushed you to talk to him (and I literally mean she shoved you into him) you bumped into him rather hard and stumbled, losing your footing and pulling Tom down with you while others froze, watching the embarrassing ordeal.
Immediately you began spitting out apologies, stumbling over your words and turning a bright shade of red to match the shade you were pretty sure matched Tom’s as people helped you to your feet.
As you stood up, Tom said nothing as he stared at you, frozen and making you more embarrassed. You remember thinking ‘oh god, he hates me’ before literally running away.
You booked it down the red carpet, going past interviews and other celebrities before you hid behind your other friend (O/C/F), the whole night making sure that you wouldn’t see Tom Holland again.
The next morning your twitter feed was filled with clips of the embarrassing night before. As well as the many people commenting (S/N) anywhere they could.
You shake your head as you recall the embarrassing memory from over 6 months ago, stopping your pacing and plopping down on the couch, smoothing out the white robe you had on that you’d be removing to change into the black dress hanging up.
Deciding to kill time and get your mind off things, you change into the tight long sleeve black dress and your black strap on heels when you hear a knock on the door.
As you put in your right earring, grabbing your left, you head to the door.
Curiously, you turn the handle and peer out to see who you recognized as Andy, with a headset on and an embarrassed look on his face. “Oh hey,” you smiled, putting in your other earring as you opened you door further, now seeing a camera crew behind the average man.
“Uh hey to you too?” you said to the cameras suspiciously. “Andy right?” you asked as you shook the man’s hand. He nodded “yep, and you’re (Y/N) (Y/L/N) right?” he asked sarcastically. You laughed slightly, “Yuppo, that’s me,” you say in a slightly off voice and immediately scolding yourself mentally or your weirdness afterwords.
Andy however, laughs and you cringe, “Sorry I don’t know why I did that,” you giggle, “That was weird.” you laugh with Andy as he shakes his head, “No, you’re fine. Ellen just wants a word with you before the show.” he explains and you nod suspiciously, “a word with me?” you ask and Andy nods, “And a camera crew?” you ask, knowing Ellen is planning something.
“She wants to document it, for memories.” he says not convincing you in the least. “Uh huh,” you nod suspiciously as Andy begins walking away.
"Should I be scared?“ You ask the camera, to which the man holding it only smiles, "Come on man,” you laugh, following Andy, “Give me a hint,” you whisper shout making the cameraman smile once more, “Ugh you are no help.” you groan, trudging after Andy down a few halls.
Stopping, you take off your heels to ease the pain in the balls of your feet, running to catch up with Andy as he stops in front of a room. “Is this the part where you murder me?” you joke as Andy stays straight faced, answering by opening the door.
“Andy?” you ask, a chill going up your spine, as you step into the room. “Are you actually going to murder me?” you ask, your smile dropping as Andy closes the door suddenly, trapping you inside.
Your eyes widen as you rush to the door, hitting the wood “Andy!” you exclaim, hearing nobody on the other side.
You groan turning around sliding down the door. “Ugh,” you say, before seeing a camera on the far wall. Suddenly your blood runs cold, “Ellen if you scare me I swear I’ll die!” you warn, standing up and pacing the room, stopping before another hidden camera.
“I’m genuinely afraid right now,” you laugh slightly before you hear the door open behind you.
You almost turn around before you hear a voice you recognize, “Wait in there?” the British accent speaks, and you freeze, immedietly knowing who it is. “Nah mate, I feel like she’s gonna jump out at me.” Tom speaks once more and you almost laugh as you hear his footsteps stumble into the room and hear the door slam once more.
You glare at the camera in front of you, shaking your head angrily at Ellen who was most likely watching.
Then you heard Tom speak again, “Uh, miss?” he spoke uncertainly and you made a face, not wanting to address him and have him remember you. “Do you know why I’m in here?” he asks, his voice getting closer.
You turn around slowly, eyes trained on the floor as you try not to make eye contact, “I know about as much as you do,” you sigh, finally making yourself look up at Tom.
Oh God, why did he have to look so good. His hair was slicked and he was wearing a t-shirt and Denim jeans. He probably hadn’t changed for the show yet.
You had no idea he would be on the show today, if you did you would have been a lot more nervous.
As you studied him, you noticed that he froze, his eyes trained on you as he stood tense, a light pink dusting his features.
He probably was remembering the last time you saw him, when you completely embarrassed him.
You smiled shyly as he broke out into a huge grin, his mouth hanging open, “Y-you’re (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” he exclaimed, his arms making a huge gesture.
You furrowed your brows as he stared at you, “Yeah?” you said uncertainly as Tom exploded with energy, pacing around the room with his hands messing up his hair excitedly, the smile never leaving his face, “O-oh my God!” he exclaimed, “I am just such a huge fan.” he explained, coming up and grabbing your hand to shake it quite quickly, “I love you in (M/T) and (O/M/T) just,” he sighed, reminiscing, “Absolutely amazing!” he explained, going on and about you and how much of a fan he was.
To say you were shocked would be an understatement. This man you were practically in love with, whom you thought hated you, was a complete fanboy!
Finally, not being able to stay silent anymore, you exploded, “Me? You like me?” you asked in astonishment, your eyes wide as you stared him up and down, “I am like your biggest fan!” you exclaimed, “Y-you’re just so talented and funny.” you went on, “I cried when I watched the impossible, and I NEVER cry…besides Disney movies…” you mumble as you continued to compliment Tom and his work.
He stood there starstruck until you finally said, “and I thought you hated me after I embarrassed you on the red carpet,” to which Tom furrowed his brows, “What? no!” he disagreed, “Yeah!” you exclaim, “I mean, I pulled you to the ground in front of millions of viewers and to be fair you didn’t even say a word to me–"
"That’s because I was star struck!” he interrupts, “and you ran off before I could introduce myself. I found it quite funny actually,” he laughed with you, “Ugh. Well you know me, trying to avoid embarrassing encounters only by making them more awkward,” you face palmed.
Tom laughed mumbling something under his breath you couldn’t quite make out.
“Oh and don’t even get me started on Spiderman,” you exclaim as Tom’s head shoots up, “I mean, I love him so much it’s not even funny.” you laugh as Tom smiles widely, “No way, YOU love Spiderman?” he asks you and you nod obviously, giving him a “duh” face.
“I love Spiderman too!” he exclaims, “What are the odds?” he says sarcastically as you laugh with him.
Finally your laughter dies down and you realize you were still trapped in this room, and the show should start in 20 minutes.
“How are we gonna get out?” you say suddenly, both of your eyes widening.
Just then, you hear a voice all too familiar on the com on the right side of the room, “I’ll let you out if you kiss,” Ellen’s voice breaks through, causing your eyes to widen and face to turn to a shade resembling a tomato.
You hear her snickers before the com cuts off and you cough awkwardly, not even daring to spare Tom a glance, “Come on Ellen,” You groan, giving Tom an awkward smile, in which he returns shyly.
After what seems like forever, but was most likely just a few minutes, Tom’s stomach growls, causing you to laugh and gasp, “Ellen, we got a starving boy in here!” You exclaim as Tom begins to laugh, “What kind of monster traps someone in a room with no food!” You laugh with Tom as he kicks the ground with his foot.
About ten seconds later, a box slides under the small space under the door. Immediately, you rush to the box, pulling it out the rest of the way and jumping with glee.
Tom walks over curiously, “What is it?” He asks before I open the box, smiling even wider before I answer, “The cure to everything,” I sigh, “Aka, pizza.” I laugh as Tom groans teasingly, “I call first slice,” You declare, pulling out a slice and shoving it into your mouth.
You look over at Tom who’s eyes are wide with shock, “What?” You ask though a mouthful of cheesy goodness, “We’re trapped in here and you’re worried about getting the first slice?” He asks astonished. You glare at him teasingly, “You got something against pizza?” You ask as Tom immedietly widens his chocolate orbs and raises his hands in defense, “I didn’t say that,” he declares as you level a playful glare at him, “Good, I almost had to kill you for a second.” Tom giggled, actually giggled, “Well, we can’t have that now can we?” he laughs and you laugh with him, handing him the pizza box as he takes out a slice.
The two of you sit there in silence, eating pizza and sharing awkward glances, both resulting in blushing and looking down at the floor.
“The show starts in 15 minutes and I haven’t even gone to wardrobe,” he throws his head back and groans once more. You laugh at him, “After eating this greasy goodness, I need to get my makeup redone.” You sigh, “Guess we’re both in trouble,”
Tom mumbles something under his breath you can’t quite make out as you turn to him curiously, “What?” You ask and Tom looks at you in embarrassment, as if he was hoping you didn’t hear him. “S-sorry, no it was stupid…forget it.” he said too quickly, his eyes darting back to the floor.
You furrowed your brows, “No, I didn’t hear you, what was it?” you asked, genuinely curious as Tom looked up from the floor at you shyly, a pink dusting his cheeks, “I…er,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, making you smile at his shyness, “I, um, I said maybe we should just do it…” he trailed off as you smiled at him, your cheeks turning bright red.
“You mean kiss?” You ask, immedietly getting nervous and twiddling your thumbs. “Yeah…” Tom said, now seeming certain and determined as his eyes bore into mine.
“I-I mean unless you don’t want to we could just–” You interrupt him, placing your right hand on the back of his neck and pulling his face towards yours to press your lips onto his.
As soon as your tender flesh meets, Tom’s hand goes to your waist, pulling you impossibly close as your hand goes up to mess with his dark curls which were so much softer than you’d imagined.
The kiss was hungry and passionate and needy. neither of you wanted to break away as the door opened.
Finally you forced yourself to pull your lips from his, out of breath as Tom smiled at you slightly, his eyes wide, “Tastes like pizza,” he mumbles before Ellen and a camera crew come barging in, the blonde laughing hysterically, her face red as she stares at the two of you in shock, with mischief in her eye.
You had no time to be embarrassed as the crew dragged you and Tom away to your wardrobes where hair and makeup were waiting for you.
As they dolled you up, fixed your hair and rearranged your outfit, you sat in shock, not believing what just happened. You just kissed your celebrity crush, and he kissed you back.
You touched your lips chastely as you recalled his lips that were once there, on yours…
A/N: Part two will be what happens when the show actually starts and Ellen shows the audience your guys’ footage. It may even lead to a relationship.
-Fuck okay so I saw the movie last night and fuck i didn’t think i’d be hype but it felt so right watching it!!!
-this is definitely scattered and poorly articulated compared to my review of ff7 but ill write a proper one in due time. I fucking miss paul
-ive seen every fuckin movie of this franchise in theaters n im only 23 ah these are my thoughts as i was watching it. I was lowkey keeping notes lmao
-beautiful setting and colors wow as always!!!
-FUCK as if charlize therons character wasnt annoying enough the fuckin bitch had to have dreads!!! Deadass bye
-GEEKED at roman coming in at 11 for most wanted criminals
-Roman lmfao he literally cracks me up so fucking much i love tyrese
-the Rock as a soccer daddy ifucking love it his daughter is so cute ugh
-DECKARD SHAW IS SUCH A DADDY oh my i love jason statham and his banter w the rock lmao
-digging all the gratuitous fight scenes and humor and explosions
-what are you gonna Email her? Lmfao roman is too much hahahah
-calling roman Slick lmao
-hobbs and shaw are both daddies fuck they can get it
-scott Eastwood FUCK ME UP i love how theyre giving him so much shit ahaha hes so fine though gotdamn
-The kisss!!! Fuck this dumb ass hacker Bitch
With ugly dreads
-Brian would know what to do… OMG SHOOK im crying i miss paul walker so much my mans
-omfg hes a fucking dad. Papa!!! HE HAS A KID W ELENA IM SHOOK AGAIN
-middle name marcos first name is for his father to name him!!! Bitch!! 😭😭I bet he calls the bb brian!! Just cus thats how dom and vin both would be. I’m crying
-god lmao hobbs’ Fuckin names for shaw and his damn one liners i can’t… callin him princess LOL
-themost recent movies have so much more comedic elements and honestly i live for it my theater was crackin up constantly in between all that anxiety if whats happening next!!!
-shaw in suits fuck me up statham is so fine
-ugh in ny!!! The music is always so lit!!! THE TOYSHOP DAYUM!!! Those sexy cars and sexy ass scott eastwood fuck
-are you Blanta? Lmao roman and that fuckin neon orange lambo
-oo shit doms got a plan yas!!! Helen mirren omfg!!! British woman so I assume this is mama shaw
-ok this banter now is just straight up Flirting between shaw and hobbs like theyd be so good together lmao
-ugh this Destruction i cant… imagine if that shit was real so many ppl would be dead god
-ugh charlize is a little cunt
-gotta admit tho putting those cars jn Auto drive was pretty freaking dope but crazy and the pileup. Shits wild if that could happen irl we’re fucked
-did i mention Eastwood is fucking sexy
-Lil nobody lost his lil mind hahaha
-BIG SEXI COMIN THRU
-Why didnt they just crash into him fuckkkk like instead of just tugging on his car from dif directions like ya dont hurt him but still
-Omg shaw WTF RIP I WAS JUST LOVING HIM ON THE TEAM IN SAD IM CRYING AND HOBBS IS UPSET
-DOM TURNIN HIS BACK ON LETTY IM HURT
-baby callin dom dada im cryjbg holy fuck this mf just shot mama OMG RIP ELENA IM PIST
-god charlize tryig to psycho analyze shit and just constantly spewing bs makes me wanna hjr her
-Tej n roman babter is my fav
-ah eastwood baby is on board fuck me. All Bets r off–Hahaha the fuckin orange car
-Roman" this aint for me man" hahaha he’s so fuckin funny they really made his character a bitchass i love it
-2 hacker bitches up against eachother lmao ramsey is gorge
-roman Reading russian HAGAHA such a goof
-LETTYs SUCH A BAD BITCH sent that fucker right into those blades.
-THERES NOTHING ALRIGHT ABOUT THIS LMAO honestly i’m roman
-Spinning in his lambo on ice and everyone just fucking with him hahaha
-WHAT IS GOIN ONHAHAHA as hes sliding with the fuckin door
-TYRESE HELL YA OMG FUCK YEA WHAT A COMEBACK. “NUMBER 11 MY ASS” HAHAH, whole theater is laughing
-OH MY GOD IMS CREAMING BOTH SHAWS ARE ALIVE AND BEAUTFUL MY DADDIES. LUKE EVANS IM SHOOK BABY SCARFACE LMAO IM CRYING I LIT UP WHEN THEY TOOK THEIR MASKS OFF
-SURPRISEEE… AHA FUK U CHARLIZE IM SO HYPE I HAVE CHILLS
-TEGO CALDERON and DON OMAR HELL YEAH EVEYTHING IS UNRAVELING I MISSED THEM IM CRYIN IM SO HAPPY RN
-DOMS WHOLE PLAN FUCK YEAH AND THE SHAWS IM SO HYPE
-MOMMA SHAW HELL YES AHAHAH DISCIPLING HER FUCKIN BOY “and ur gonna TAKE UR brother” “DEVILS BUNGHOLE” HAJAJA MOM it’s god’s eye. I LOVE THIS FAMILY. Spinoff please???
-IMCHEERING SO HARD MORALE IS SO HIGH
-FOR ELENA YAS DOM IS BACK BABY KNOCKED THAT FUCKER DEAD
-STATHAM W BB BEING AN ACTUALLY DADD IM CRYIN ALVIN N CHIP MUNKS YES AHAHA
-FIGHTing W BB OMFG DADDY YES, “its gonna be a lot of fun” i love him so much take me
-DOMS BACK I HAVE CHILLS YES
-LETTY SEEING DOM AND REALIZING HE’s back Im SOBBING i love them
-WHEres THAT SMILE? THERE IT IS!! OMG CUTE BABY AND SEXY DADDY DECKARD SHAW IM SHOOK
-Ur not gna wanna see this… *sniffs* is that u or him? HAHAHA i love him
-hobbs to roman: Yr u always yelli g hahaha this shit is so funny while even in the middle of action scenes
-Thats my girl!! Letty made it… ugh dom im just
-U lost the minute u interrupted honeymoon fuck ya bitch dont mess w familia
-“This is for my son” FUCK yasss
-The cars protecting dom im crying more
-Told u this would b fun hgh DADDY shaw pls
-DOM N LETTy FOREVER
-gotta get MY YUNG SELFIE LEVELS up I CANT Hahaha fucking roman
-FAMILY!! I LIVE FOR THE ENDINGS AND THE HUGE FAMILY GET TOGETHERS IM CRYING I MISS PAUL WALKER SO MUCH
-ELENA UGH im sad
-INTRODUCing letty to the baby im dead
-WHAT IS HIS NAME WTF???
-Okay EVERYONE MEET….BRIAN… IM CRYING
-I FUCKING KNEW IT BUT IT STILL GOT ME I WAS LEGIT SOBBING THEN THAT FUCKIN KEHLANIGEAZY SONG CAME ON AND IDK I STARTED CRYING MORE. BABY BRIAN FUCK IM SO EMOTIONAL
-I LOVE THESE MOVIES SO MUCH I WILL BE 80 and still watching these movies as long as they keep putting them out omfg i just love them all i miss paul walker and brian and jordana brewster but this was a really good addition it did not disappoint even tho i hate the title lmao
-i appreciate u if u read this whole thing lets b friends