ugh i just love this photoshoot so much

“He is a very attractive human being. But more than that, he’s a beautiful, beautiful person. I think that’s why he’s so beloved. You can sense that he’s not at all a person who’s aware of how charismatic and talented he is. He’s just, like, the best guy. There’s nothing more handsome than a humble heart.” Bryce Dallas Howard on Chris Pratt

I tried a promotional tactic on my facebook page for my photography business. The idea was I would give a free photoshoot to the person who best plugged my photography site on their page. My thinking being a lot of people would post links to my site to all their friends and all it would cost me is a photoshoot. Unfortunately only 2 people did it. Seems I can’t give away photography at this point. I’m not really sure how to grow my business. It doesn’t really help that I can’t leave the house. 

The last few days have been hard. I feel like my depression is sitting on my chest, keeping me from getting up. I haven’t really left my bed at all. I realized I wasn’t getting any sun this way, so I started using my SAD lamp. Hopefully that will help brighten my mood. I don’t really know why I am depressed exactly. Perhaps I am just frustrated with the status quo of my life. I’m still always tired. I’m lonely. I can’t see a future where my CFS or narcolepsy are better. I have things to be grateful for. I have some really great friends. I have two loving parents. I have an awesome dog. I have a great home. I try to focus on that, but it just really sucks being sick all the time. 

I saw a news story about a nearby town. They passed an ordinance to ban saggy pants. It seems pretty racist to me. I don’t understand why saggy pants bothers white people so much, but according to the comments of the story, this is a huge problem. Saggy pants are affecting them in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine. Ugh. 

I have a photoshoot on Thursday. It is with an old friend and her 3 year old daughter. She is super cute and I can’t wait to take pictures of her. I just wish I had more experience with little kids. I haven’t held a baby and my interactions with children have been brief. I don’t hate kids or anything. I just haven’t had the opportunity to socialize with them. What do kids like? Pokemon? I don’t know any Pokemons. There is that yellow one. Peekachoo? My childhood was all He-man and ninja turtles. I’m old you guys. 

Speaking of old. I’m going to be 35 soon. July 30th. I don’t feel that old. Well, some days I feel like I’m 80, but that is different. In my mind I feel like I am still 18. That is when I got sick and I feel like my life has been on pause ever since. I haven’t aged. I’ve just gotten sicker. And the day I get better I will unpause my life and continue on as that 18 year old. Maybe I’ll go back to college. Have a spring break. Backpack through Europe. What other things do the youths do? Meh, it’s probably best if I just act my age. Yell at kids on my lawn and such. 

I think that’s all for now. Have a good day everyone.