ugh i have so many thoughts and feelings about this idk know where to start or how to write it

The Story of Us

Summary: Peter and Y/N break it off at the end of high school, leaving them both heartbroken. 4 years fly by, and their paths cross at a press conference, with Y/N being a reporter and Peter being the person in question. Will the story of Y/N and Peter end?

Warnings: None, maybe like 2 swear words?

Word Count:  2743 (I didn’t mean for it to be THAT long)

A/N: So this is kinda based of off Taylor’s song The Story of Us. I’m not a big fan of her, just this song. I recommend giving it a listen if you read the story. I was gonna have the story end a different way but it ended up like this??? Anyway if this isn’t a flop I’ll a part 2 so if you want a part 2 comment :^) thanks for reading and it might be messy, I didn’t proofread it. xx

The Story of Us

Chapter 1: When it all broke down


“I’m saying goodbye, Peter. I have to.” Y/N was trying her hardest not to cry. “High school is over…And…And so are we.”

Peter on the other hand, already had tears starting to pour out of his eyes. “Y/N, baby please I know we can handle it. You won’t even be that far, I can still see you everyday and-”

“No, Peter.” She took a sharp breath in. “This…Us… It’ll only ever be  part of my childhood.”

“Are you kidding me? Was I just a toy to you? A heart you could throw around until it breaks?” Peter’s voice cracked.

“No, that’s not what I-”

“Y/N, I’m not gonna fight for you if you don’t even care to let me.” He hung his head and turned around.

“I still love you.” Y/N whispered.

He walked out of her life that day, and she’d never regret anything more. Did she mean it? Of course not. Did she need to do it? Of course not.

Y/N still loved Peter, but for some reason she thought it’d be easier to start a new life with no strings attached. How wrong she was…

Chapter 2: So many things that I wish you knew

4 Years Later

Cutting all ties with Peter was a process for Y/N. First she was in denial, thinking he’d come back and understand why she did it. Then she experienced heartbreak, and thought she was never good enough for him in the first place. Then she experienced anger, blaming it all on Peter for pushing her away (She later realized the pushing away was all her doing). And after a few months, she accepted it. He was gone for good.

Of course there were moments, where she’d see news of Spider-man on the television, or she’d see a shirt she knew he would’ve loved… Or maybe someone would even mention Star Wars, and her thoughts would immediately go to Peter. Her heart would ache for his embrace.

After a year of getting over him, she had finally taken the last step, and moved on as best as she could from Spider-man. She had just been promoted from being a paid intern to a full on assistant to Scarlett Magazine’s Executive Editor, Sylvia Sloane.

Y/N made an amazing best friend through the job, Gina, whom she shared an apartment in NYC with. The two girls told eachother everything. Y/N eventually told them everything about Peter, except the fact that, well, he’s Spider-man.

Y/N was quickly promoted to an actual writer for the magazine, as she was actually quite skilled at writing, and enjoyed informing the readers. A year into the job and she’d already achieved so much, with all her celebrity interviews, fashion tips, and for even exposing one politician!

One day Y/N was starting to type up an article on “Why Being Strong Doesn’t Make You a Diva” when Scarlett Lynn, the Editor in Chief, told her she had a new assignment.

“Tony Stark apparently has an announcement regarding the Avengers, and our readers just eat anything with super-heroes up!” Scarlett talked with such confidence and authority that nobody would dare defy her. “I want you to go to that Press Conference being held on Sunday.”

“Yes, ma'am, I understand, but-”

“But what? You’re one of the best interviewers on the team! You’re so pretty and charismatic Y/N, I have nobody else to send but you!”

Y/N couldn’t exactly turn her boss down, so all she mustered out was “Okay, I won’t disappoint.”

Later that night at their apartment Y/N started to complain to Gina “Gosh, I hate press conferences, especially with superheroes!”

Ginaust rolled her eyes. “Y/N, you’re literally going to be in the same room as the Avengers, what’s the problem?”

“The problem is…” Y/N let out a deep breath. “Nevermind… You wouldn’t understand.”

“Get over yourself! So many girls would kill to be in your position! Especially if you get to see Spider-Man, I heard he’s around our age…” Gina winked

“He’s the worst one!” Y/N felt the blood rush to her cheeks. “He just looks dumb, he’s not even an avenger.”

“Ugh, just go to bed already.”

Y/N lied in her bed, trying to not think about Peter. She had no idea what he was doing now, because she’d tried to avoid any mention of Spider-Man at all costs. Her mind was racing of all the possibilities, but then realized he might not even be there. Y/N was still overthinking everything until she fell asleep.

The two days before the conference she only spent avoiding any thoughts of the conference, and before she realized it, Sunday was here.

Y/N spent a little too much time getting ready, and she knew why. She wanted to impress him (if he was even there), and show just how much she’d changed. She pulled her y/h/c locks up into a messy, wavy ponytail, and made sure to do her makeup nicely. Y/N slid into a maroon bodycon dress, and black strappy heels. She grabbed a black clutch and went out the door with a recorder in hand.

Chapter 3: Alone in a crowded room

The conference was filled with reporters, all there for the same reason Y/N was. This was a reason why she dreaded attending; it was just a sweaty pit of people asking questions. A million other magazines would be writing just the same things she would.

However, the main reason she dreaded this conference specifically was because of the possibility he might be there. She probably wouldn’t even see his face, but just knowing that they’re in the same crowded room, and not even speaking would break her heart. Y/N understood that it’s been four years, and that this shouldn’t even bother her, but she can’t help but imagine what she would say to him.

He won’t be here. Y/N kept telling herself. He’s not even part of the Avengers, he turned it down. Plus, isn’t it just supposed to be Tony Stark? Her heart sank. She didn’t realize that before and was almost sure he wouldn’t be here now. But what if he does show up? He probably won’t even see me, all of these reporters are bigger than me… She kept overthinking and only increased her conflicted feelings.

While she was lost in thought, Tony Stark appeared from the dark curtain, with a confident and charming smile on his face. The murmurs of the room came to a hush once his presence was noticed. People began taking out their iPads and phones to record, and Y/N just took out a little notebook.

Cameras began flashing, and Y/N sat up straight to see over the people seated in front of her. Her seat was somewhat near the front, three rows away from the table. Of course, there was another row of photographers in front.

Tony Stark had taken a seat at the table, with a microphone and water in front him. There was another set up to the right of him. Y/N could feel her heart speed up in her chest. Tony Stark began speaking, but the girl was oblivious. She was too focused on the fact that Peter could actually be here? Y/N wanted to get up and leave, she didn’t want him to see her.

“I would like to welcome Spider-Man to the Avengers.” Was all Y/N had heard from Tony’s introduction speech. She threw away all thoughts of leaving the room and froze where she was. In walked a hero in red and dark blue spandex, with gold lining. Spider-Man’s costume was a lot more glamorous than Y/N had remembered.

Her eyes were glued to the man who had emerged from behind the curtain. He had the same lanky yet muscular body frame, but she couldn’t tell if he looked the same. She wanted to rip his mask off, throws her arms around him and tell him just how much she missed him… But all she could do was stare.

“Hello everyone.” Spider-Man gave a small wave and cleared his throat. “I’m, uh, Spider-Man. It’s a huge honor to be welcomed to the team and I’m just really excited to be here.”

Chapter 4: I was losing my mind when I saw you here

“We’ll be taking questions now.” (UmMmmM Idk how press conferences work exactly BUT lets just imagine these are how they go o k??)

A man raises his hand behind you, and Tony nods to him “I’m Joshua and I’m from California. I was wondering if you were ever going to reveal your identity?”

Spider-Man shook his head. “I don’t see it happening anytime soon, no. It’s something I like, because I can still be a normal guy while still being a superhero.”

His voice hadn’t changed, and it was still pretty high-pitched, just as Y/N remembered. She always loved Peter’s voice, even though he self-conscious over the fact that he “sounded like a girl.” She loved his fruity laugh, and it always managed to put a smile on her face.

The conference continued on, and Y/N would write down answers and questions on her notebook. The questions were somewhat the same:

“Do you think you’re talented and strong enough to share the weight of the world with the Avengers?”

“Well that’s a big question. I’d say I’m prepared, yeah, but is anyone ever really strong enough?”

“Don’t you feel like you’re a little too young, compared to the rest of the Avengers?”

“Well, at first yes, but not now. I’ve been in this superhero business since I was in high school. After six years it’s nothing new.”

There was, however, one question that really stood out to Y/N:

“Does Spider-Man have a Spider-Woman?”

“Is that you asking if I have a girlfriend?” Peter chuckled.

“Yes.”

“Well to answer your question, no. The last relationship I had was four years ago.”

Once Spider-Man made a comment about one relationship, other questions came flooding in:

“Why haven’t you dated anyone else since then?”

“You see, this girl was a big part of my life, and it took me quite a while to get over her…” He scratched the back of his head. “Also, life has been pretty busy and I just haven’t found room for a woman in my life right now.”

“So this girl, you two broke up… Why is that exactly?”

“Um I’m not really going to go into details but we broke off at the end of high school. Our lives were going in different directions and it was just easier to end the relationship there than see it fall apart.”

Y/N’s cheeks were red the entire time, and she kept her face down. She didn’t come here to hear Peter tell people about herself.

“So, Spider-Man, the girl-”

Tony Stark interrupted the man trying to speak, “Okay enough with the relationship questions please! He did just join the Avengers you know?”

Questions resumed on the path that they were before. Y/N checked the time on her phone to see she had gotten a message from her boss, Sylvia.

I’m watching the livestream, and the relationship topic is interesting. I’d much appreciate it if you could ask what type of girl he likes? Our readers would love that!

Y/N sighed. She didn’t want Peter to even look at her, let alone speak to her. This was the one thing she was avoiding for so long, and she wasn’t going to break the silence now for her boss. She began to type a reply.

Ms. Sloane, we were asked not to ask anymore questions about his relationships. I’m sorry, but I did write everything down!

Y/N, dear, I don’t like asking twice, and I don’t like doing this to you. Ask the damn question or you’ll be demoted back to my assistant. I took a leap of faith making you a writer, don’t make me regret it a year in!

The girl’s heart pounded in her chest. She couldn’t lose this job, she loved writing. She only had one option. She lifted her hand up, and waited to be called on like she was in elementary school again.

Tony Stark saw her and said, “Yes, the little lady with the ponytail.”

Chapter 5: Is it killing you like it’s killing me?

Y/N stood up slowly and plastered on a smile. “Um hi, I’m Y/N from Scarlett magazine.”

The girl took a deep breath and looked directly at Peter. “My question for you, um, Spider-Man… What type of girl… What’s the thing you look most for in a woman?” She said the last bit rather fast, and she was quite nervous.

Peter’s eyes were wide under the mask. This was the last place he wanted to see her… He didn’t even know she was a writer for Scarlett magazine… She loved that magazine in high school. He couldn’t help but feel proud of her.

“Look, I said no more relationship ques-”

“Mr. Stark, it’s okay. I’ll take this one….” His voice faltered. “Hi Y/N. Um what do I look for in a girl? I like a girl who can make me feel better on a bad day, one who’ll tell me everything will be okay because… We have each other. Or someone who will nerd out with me when we watch movies, or when I make science jokes…A girl who’ll patch me up after the worst of fights… Is that too specific?” Y/N couldn’t quite see his expression, under his mask, but she sure could hear the grin in his voice. She couldn’t hide her shy smile from him like he could from her.

Peter described her. She’d constantly tell him when he felt bad, that it’ll work out; they had each other. They had movie nights every week and would watch Star Wars, or some Disney movie. She’d laugh at his dork science jokes. He’d come to her window sometimes, with a small cut from a fight, so Nurse Y/N would make an appearance and patch him up. Memories from high school surfaced in Y/N’s brain…

“No, it’s perfect. Thank you.” Y/N sat back down in her chair.

Peter’s eyes were on his ex for most the interview after that. He couldn’t believe Y/N was here… He wanted to talk to her afterwards, he had to. Spider-Man tried to stop staring at her, but he couldn’t help himself. He hadn’t see in her so long, and look at her now. She was a writer for a magazine!

Y/N looked down at her phone, seeing a few new messages from her boss.

Great work Ms. Y/L/N! I’m trying to schedule a one-on-one interview with Spider-Boy.

Thank you Ms. Sloane. I appreciate it.

Y/N let out a deep breath. She’d done it. She’d spoken to Peter and pleased her boss.

The conference wrapped up shortly after, and Y/N was on her way out when her phone started buzzing.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, it’s Sylvia. I did get the interview scheduled for you. It’s in 30 minutes. They denied me at first, but then they said it was Spider-Man himself who agreed to it. Be ready.”

“But-”

Then line went dead. Y/N really couldn’t catch a break.

Chapter 6: How’d we end up this way?

Y/N timidly walked up to the table, and walked behind the curtain that Peter and Tony Stark appeared from earlier. There was a body-guard right behind it.

“Oh um. Sorry. Hi…” She tucked her hair behind her ear. It was her nervous habit. “I’m Y/N Y/L/N, from Scarlett magazine? M-My boss told me…

“Right this way Ms. Y/L/N.” He nodded toward you, and you followed him to a some weird hallway. “He’s waiting for you in there.” And then the bodyguard walked away.

She hesitated. She grabbed the door knob. It’s just Peter behind that door… Just- “Peter..” Y/N huffed out. She’d opened the door to find Peter standing there, in the Spider-Man attire, without his mask. Y/N looked into his deep chocolate eyes just as she did many years ago.

“Hi Y/N…”

To be continued…

anonymous asked:

leela that liveshow was. a lot. so cute. Dan talking about love made me 👀

it was definitely a lot oh my god. one of my favorites in a long time and a real treasure trove of open stories, asides, opinions, and general insights into his mind, his opinions on work, his life, and of course, yes, his thoughts on love. i almost wondered if he was a little bit tipsy from the sushi dinner he mentioned going on since he’s always sort of told us that he’s pretty sensitive to wine (he was tipsy while editing that sims video when he left the flipside christmas party in december and he’d only had one glass of wine?) because honestly there was so much rambling and vulnerability in this that i wasn’t prepared for. uhhh, brace yourselves bc this is like,, the longest shit i’ve written about them in ages. i can always count on a dan live show to bring out my inner desires to write an actual novel haha

INSIGHTS ABOUT HIMSELF

the meditation bit. that was so lovely on so many levels. to know that he’s tried meditating is one thing. to watch him try to walk us through some of the fundamental tenets of a meditative mindset was another. it was so fascinating to me to hear him confirm the way in which he feels plagued by the onslaught of noise in his life, and crucially, for him, that’s all online noise—he kept talking about imaginary conversations, how all of our communication is text on the internet, and that he ingests so many of those voices constantly and always feels their presence. even though that is a generalizable thing that all of us suffer from, to an extent, in a world where we’re so digitally connected, it’s staggering to think about the scale on which he has to deal with all of the white noise and that all of it is both distressing to him and also inescapable in that it’s the foundation of his career. i just see dan as being someone who is so internally conflicted about so many things and that includes, most centrally, the role of the internet and his presence on it, and it doesn’t take much reaching to understand why he must love and hate it in equal measure.

the hydration campaign. y’all i’ve been trying to track every stay hydrated mention since the one in pinof 8 when they literally made like a psa, with no explanation or context, about the importance of water and staying hydrated and just stuck it in the middle of that vid. i’ve lost track though bc they’ve worked it into nearly every video they’ve made since then and i WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS ABOUT. i am adamant that it’s an inside joke of some sort. i don’t think they actually give a fuck how much water we drink lol. so today when dan was like “i need to find a way to work that into the next video .. .might already be in it,” and then at the end when he said he needs to leave to go “get hydrated,” i was living bc it was the most open confirmation yet that this is something they’re so intentionally doing and working into their vids. idk if it’s just a funny thing but … my instinct is that it has some sort of deeper meaning that only they know and i’m ANNOYED THEYRE ALLOWED TO RUB THESE JOKES RIGHT IN OUR FACES UGH. jk they can carry on w their married behavior but. i want it all to lead to some sort of announcement that they’re starting a joint bottled water business at the very least. or maybe its just a euphemism for sex. who knows. ugh

dan acknowledging his pretentiousness about music is all i’ve ever wanted. it’s so funny to me how just his self-awareness that he is very pretentious and particular about his tastes is all i needed to forgive him for all of it because what pissed me off more than anything ever about dan’s approach to talking about music were his flimsy attempts at trying to act like he was so accepting and tolerant of all people’s music tastes and that he’s some sort of diplomatic saint who respects and celebrates everyone’s preferences bc … literally no he fucking doesn’t he has never even tried to make it convincing hahah. so him just outright apologizing for it today in his usual self-deprecating fashion was like the funniest, best thing to me bc god at least he knows and realizes and like maybe now he can actually work on talking about music in the deeper and complex ways that he so clearly wants to. also as a music snob in my own right i feel him on this and i’ve always just found it way easier to preface every conversation w the clear statement that these r just my own standards and i’m a douche and i’m never actually trying to disrespect anyone who might like different things than me. anyway, i love dan

INSIGHTS ABOUT WORK & LIFE

i suspected and even posted about the fact that unexpected things might have happened this week that caused phil to be delayed in posting his video and dan to be all but silent on twitter for several days. i speculated dan may not have been in a good place this week based on his silence and also the way he seemed to teeter on the brink of quite overt negativity during last week’s live show. to me, today’s live show seemed fully in the throes of that negative headspace. there was a resurgence of bleak little comments about how he’s tired (of living), how he looks like a rat and doesn’t want to be reminded about the reality of his existence, how his life is a joke, how he can’t comprehend that anyone could draw inspiration from his videos or that his stories could brighten people’s days, etc. etc. all said as casual asides and mostly followed by little laughs as is his norm, but it was very reminiscent to me of the time in early january around his 2016 memes video and his first couple live shows of the year where he talked so frequently about craving death and feeling anxious and judging his own work output too harshly, and the constant pressure of scrutiny from his audience. i don’t think this live show was as bad as all of that but it’s clear that things might be a bit difficult right now and dan confirmed that himself when he stated that it’s been a challenging week in ways he can’t talk about with us yet. i was so interested to hear him say we could ask him about it in like five months though. literally,,, i put it in my calendar for august because i’m just so curious. we have almost no hints to go off of in terms of speculating about what it could be, but to me the fact that we would be able to ask him five months from now seems to suggest that it’s not personal (i jokingly wrote in tags that he and phil had gotten in a tiff this week lol) bc if it was he wouldn’t mention it at all i don’t think and definitely at the very least wouldn’t have given us such a specific timeframe about when we could ask about it. it’s likely work-related bc of that timeframe: a new project of some sort that will be out later this year, for which perhaps several planning meetings or deadlines had to happen/be met this week? it’s hard to say why that would put dan in such a negative headspace but he’s said before that he gets that way when he’s sleep deprived and he did just seem very very tired beneath everything. … also possible it could be about moving? maybe house hunting was very stressful and didn’t go to plan. late summer (five months from now) would be a fitting time for them to have made their move, and really it’s the only other possible thing i can think of with a timeframe that dan would specifically tell us. in any case,,, mark your cals for august y’all bc i actually can’t wait to hear more insights about this week even if we have to wait months for them.

that being said, the new dinof video is coming tmrw or the day after and he was still pretty vague about what it will be about. as i spelled out in completely unnecessary detail after last week’s live show i believe he was going to make the video about dropping the dinof user name but then changed his mind (this is the video he referenced today when he said “i was going to make a video but then decided it should be the next one” before going on like a 3-min rant about how sometimes he just feels the timing isn’t right to post a particular video.) so that leaves the field wide open for what this next vid could be. the only other hint we got was that it could be kink-related because the premium he opened that said “kinkshame me daddy” prompted him to say “well you’ll like my next vid,” but then he quickly walked it back as though to dispel anyone’s expectations that it would be kink-related? it was all a bit confusing. on that subject he did note down the idea of doing a video about going to the dentist back in a february live show, so there’s a high possibility to me that it could be about that since it’s like sort of (maybe jokingly) a kink for him, but he wouldn’t want to tease something that’s mostly NOT about kinks by saying it’s kink-related, hence his rapid back-tracking. but like. tbh who knows … dan is confusing and could pull something totally out of left field behind all of this quibbling. i mostly ardently agree with the way he told us to feel about it, which is to have literally no expectations or theories about what it could be hahah … best advice he’s ever given tbh

confirmation that he and phil will attend playlist this year, and a sort of allusion to the traditional lester clan april holiday in florida. probably means that he will join them again this year. it was kind of nice to hear him basically walk us through how all of their decisions about conventions and travel are made jointly, even months and months into the future, and to have no qualms with sharing that. he also just kept reiterating vaguely that they might have plans at various points of the year and idk about y’all but i feel like he’s trying his hardest to let us know that those plans involve each other and probs always will. could be work things (the same project that may have caused them stress this week), could, as he said in his own words back in january, be “life things.” could be both. but regardless, the plans are always danandphil things, both of them together, and i’m not sure how there is still a strain of people that insists on arguing that a moving apart or separation is on the horizon for this year. all of that is summed up in this one amazing exchange for me, when someone in the chat asks, “are you excited for australia again?” and he answers, “yeah, we are.”

i also really dug the insight about how he likes to structure his work in such a way that he’s working for three weeks straight with no days off and then takes a whole week to lose himself in a game. it’s very dan to be so all or nothing about the way that he works and to become consumed so completely by whatever’s at hand (whether it’s work or leisure) and although i might’ve suspected that that’s how he operates i don’t think we’ve ever heard him lay it out that clearly

INSIGHTS ABOUT PHIL & LOVE

that he opened this live stream with such an earnest celebration of phil (thanking him, literally, for existing and making videos even though it was technically a misspeak) was so lovely and not what i expected but it set a nice tone for the start of this stream. the bants-y way in which he acknowledge the subscriber gap was also a tiny bit noteworthy to me, especially in light of that ask i answered recently about how they must approach the subscriber gap. i argued it def isn’t something they are sensitive about and probs isn’t something they joke about either, but dan sort of showed that he might approach it w humor if the situation calls for it rather than ignore it altogether. interesting. he’s clearly so proud of phil and was a little flustered in talking about how exciting the milestone was. and then, relatedly, so so animated and excited about “promo-ing (awkward pause and sidelong glance) his pal” and the gym video. i fucking loved hearing his version of the story and how surprisingly soft and tender he sounded when he was describing phil on the phone asking for an exercise plan (like, his tone was verging on adoring there) and then the way he looked when he got back. the way that dan says “what happened?” when he’s recounting how he talked to phil after he got home literally set my heart aflutter bc it was sooooooooo concerned-sounding even in a re-enactment, even in front of thousands of people, so i can’t even imagine how worried he must have genuinely been in that moment. the thing w videos is that they allow these real-life stories that happen to dnp to take on a sort of surreal almost fictional feel bc of the storytelling dnp employ—videos have like a real narrative arc and they’re packaged to be entertaining so in some ways it’s easy to forget that this is actually a true thing that happened. phil lester went to the gym and threw up twice from over-exertion and came home in half the time he was supposed to be gone and dan, the worried partner, was there to receive him when he did. and then, of course, to get super angry on his behalf and tell us about it later. i was literally rejoicing to hear dan be so honest about his emotional reaction to this happening to phil bc it might be something he would have usually phrased another way (‘can u believe phil asked for this one thing and got this other thing instead what is wrong with people this is why we don’t go outside’) instead of literally just stating his emotion so bluntly (‘i was actually like really mad … like honestly i was so angry when he told me.’) that difference in communicating how he feels is so hugely important to me and it’s what gave the story so much dimension,, i could literally picture dan and his instinct towards protectiveness that we’ve seen time and time and time again when it comes to phil, just full of irritation, disbelief, and actual anger in that moment and he had no problem with telling us that was what happened. i nearly thought that when he said he couldn’t go to that gym bc he didn’t want to see kyle/leon, that he was saying any real-life encounter with him would end in dan giving kyle/leon an angry speech about his lack of professionalism and total ineptitude at his job. i totally believe that it would.

the other part of dan’s reaction that i feel is worth noting is the way that he immediately said to phil that he needs to learn to be more assertive in a knowing tone as though it’s something they discuss often and, to be honest, it IS something that has come up before over and over in the way that dan portrays phil. that he’s too “polite” to call people out if they’re abusing him online, that he believes in things like etiquette and courtesy, that his personality is adorable and, in not so many words, soft. we even have seen him describe it in certain specific real life scenarios. an example that comes to mind is when they were doing the joint live show in november last year and dan wanted to talk about the sound guy who fucked up his mic at dapgoose LA, subsequently causing him to loose his voice for the boncas. dan clearly wanted to go off about how incapable the sound guy had been but asks phil for permission basically, and phil tempers dan’s response a lot and recounts the situation diplomatically. a random example that also comes to mind from ages ago is in dan’s what not to do at the cinema video from 2012 where he talks about a scenario when he and phil go out to see a movie and he, dan, is assertive enough to both 1. ask for people to completely get up and move if they’re sitting in his and phil’s seats, and, 2. shush them if they’re being too loud. he even acts out phil saying “oh my god you did not just do that, i don’t know you,” and trying to hide. i feel like this is a difference between them that’s sometimes under-discussed  or noticed because the main focus is always on their anxieties and insecurities and general distaste for human interaction. people also focus on phil making small talk with people in social settings and take that to mean that he is more confident and calm. but i earnestly believe that he is more reserved than dan in many ways and that includes in facing negative or stressful situations and dan, despite his own set of anxieties, has always been much more able and willing to demand and ask for what he feels he (or phil) deserves.

obvi the thing everyone wants to talk about (and i’m right there with y’all) is dan’s truly surprising decision to entertain a question about love and then give a definition of it. after a bit of waffling and dithering about whether it is or isn’t a social construct he seems to insist that it is a real feeling and defines it as “the fear of that person not being there mixed with sexual attraction.” super interesting to me because he seems to totally approach this question from his own perspective and experience which is why in the moment he seems to suggest that you need to experience sexual attraction in order to love people (and where does that leave people on the ace spectrum?) and, moreover, that love is definitely a feeling people feel (and where does that leave aromantic people?) he definitely interprets the question to be about romantic love rather than talking about something perhaps “safer” for his usual topics such as platonic love or familial love and it’s for that reason that i definitely think he was trying to say that this is what love means to him and in his own experience because i don’t think he would be so cavalier about conflating romantic and sexual attraction and implying that asexuality and romantic attraction cannot coexist in one person if he had had time to think about this answer rather than spontaneously deciding to answer it on the spot.

but that he’s speaking from his own experience obviously makes his answer profoundly interesting because he settles on, coincidentally or perhaps not, one of the only ways of expressing affection for phil by proxy that he’s ever been okay with sharing with us, which is that he needs phil around bc he can’t bear to be alone. this combined with the protectiveness/defensiveness he exhibits for phil pretty consistently, as well as the occasional recognition of phil’s creativity, are pretty much the full spectrum of ways in which dan ever talks about what he feels for phil in a public setting. it was so strangely emotional for me to hear him confirm that his fear of being alone and being without this hypothetical “love” is so fundamental to the experience of love for him that it becomes a big part of the way he defines it. i mean people make fun of dan’s neediness all the time in so many ways but he straight out confirms here that the feeling of needing your partner near you at all times and staving off the genuinely frightening prospect of the anxiety of being alone are so central to what he takes the experience of love to mean. and that’s true for both of them i feel because as “needy” as dan is, phil is just as attached, chooses to spend all of these moments with dan, chooses to call dan up on stage when he wins solo awards, chooses to travel and socialize and create and live with dan next to him always. the concerning degrees of codependency they exhibit are such common topics of conversation amongst us as outside observers that it’s very nearly startling to hear dan basically say that, yes, this dependency on this other person, this feeling of paralysis when they’re not there, that’s what love is to him, fundamentally. it’s the awareness that your life would be empty without them around. that is … concerning honestly, and as always i have some burning questions about how they make such an unhealthy level of codependency work but like. they do. they so clearly do. they have for so long and they show signs every day of only growing stronger and happier in their partnership, if that’s even possible.

then there’s the sexual attraction bit which like, sure. obvi.

i also thought it was immensely noteworthy that when he read out “some people never find love” from one of the chat comments he didn’t even try a little bit to make it relatable and crack some joke about being forever alone or even just a cheeky little “same.” like just, generally speaking, he approached this whole topic very much with the tone of 1. someone who has definitely experienced the emotion of love, 2. someone who is then trying to articulate the emotion of love as he experiences it, and 3. someone who still feels that emotion and is in proximity to that person to whom it is directed. there were no attempts at trying to say he can’t relate or that he doesn’t know (or to apply it to FOOD which he has said on countless occasions is the number one love of his life,) and if anything he got quite flustered and even red around his ears and cheeks by the end of the whole ramble. flustered but not actually uncomfortable, at least in my assessment. it was really so, so lovely and incredibly insightful. not a topic i ever ever thought i’d hear him venture into and certainly not in a live stream and certainly not in that much depth. to me the whole topic played out almost as though he couldn’t let some overly analytical smartass in the chat reduce this emotion that clearly means so much to him into a mere social construct or even a release of hormones (oxytocin). he needed to push back and play devil’s advocate, but instead of doing that in a contemplative philosophical way he somewhat accidentally got super personal with it and this ramble and completely rare look into dan’s experience w this particularly touchy emotion is what we got. it reminds me a lot of the vyou he answered back in 2012 about whether he believes in love, in which he is quite literally upset and completely rude to the person who asked it, saying “no offense to you but what kind of a stupid question is that?” as though he has never even entertained the possibility that people could not believe that love is a true feeling and emotion. it’s incredible to see that 6 years later dan has evolved in so many ways and is calmer and more thoughtful about so many things, but on this subject little has changed: love is so important to him and there’s no way for him to talk about it without immediately demonstrating that :( :( :(

“hydrate, meditate, contemplate, get a mate.” such a fitting closing line because is there any set of four directives that better encompass who dan is lol? overall such a good live show with so many moments of vulnerability and emotional openness. however dan really is in this moment i hope things only get better and better for him and that he can get over whatever hurdles have been holding him back from dinof and that he can edit/post this video and then let himself take that week off that he mentioned wanting, in order to play games and chill or at least get to a calmer place. love him lots :(((

(live show: meditation and hydration with your new life coach - 2017.03.14)

anonymous asked:

I always see people's headcanons on what they think bts would be like in bed and seeing as you're an almighty writer with a vast array of types of smut, I wondered what your headcanons for them are!!! I'd love a kind of in depth response because I'm greedy but however you want to respond, I'm interested ❤️

haha am I an almighty writer? or am I just thirsty as hell with too many ideas? :P either way, I typically avoid answering these types of questions because I don’t think anyone actually wants to hear my honesty since I would typically think they are all inexperienced and would probably come after being touched for like two seconds. BUT… if we’re just having fun here, then I’ll give you what I could actually picture them being like (in my opinion, before anyone wants to disagree with me. feel free to make your own post lol).

Keep reading

monsta x beautiful in atl

so i just got home n I’m ded but i wanted to write down some of the stuff i remembered from tonight!

jooheon is so charismatic on stage?? such a commanding presence and really knows how to work a crowd. spoke a fair bit of english, highlight was “let’s get lit atlanta” lmao. literally did kukukaka when asked to be cute I can’t believe I witnessed it with my own two eyes. speaking of eyes, killer eye smiles everywhere, I lost a year off my lifespan. was so passionate during mirror, pretty sure I cried. hit them folks at least 5 times but i didn’t catch any dabs so I’ll let it slide ***I have to retract this statement I just saw a fancam of him beatboxing in which he dabbed 3 times I had apparently forgotten

I could see every one of wonho’s muscles from the second floor. like wow he is so defined it’s unreal. he is so fanservicey and precious and also a huge tease wth. he stood there with his hands on the hem of his shirt like he was going to take it off for what felt like forever and just stood there lookin smug while everybody screamed then proceeded to not even lift up the shirt wow thanks. wiped his torso with a towel reaallly slowly and threw the towel into the crowd lmao. pretty sure I blacked out during from zero but the song is sososo good and he was so proud to tell us he wrote it. made a comment about seeing all the trees and houses around atlanta while flying in and thinking that atlanta monbebes must be so happy and asked if we would share some of that happiness with him what a qt pie i’m truly in love

changkyun my boy he spoke mostly english and he was so good and energetic and complimentary of the crowd. his older brother apparently goes to georgia tech? is super hot in person you can see his lil acne scars and they are so precious :’) he was super cute and kind of mischevious the whole time and does this sexy dance during his raps in songs without much choreo ugh you really wouldn’t believe he’s the youngest if you didn’t already know it

shownu oh my god I literally couldn’t stop looking at him during beautiful when the show started. waaay more handsome in person than on a screen seriously I was amazed. dancing is killer, lost another year off my lifespan watching him during 24k magic. wonho said shownu is a true romantic because he will do anything for the people he cares about and said something to the effect of “imagine how that would be in a relationship” bye

minhyuk is honestly one of the cutest people I have ever seen like he looks cute yes but his mannerisms are also sososo precious? was asked to show off his cuteness and turns around and says “oh my god” in the sweetest voice I have ever heard. his voice is more high pitched than i thought it was? would throw in the occasional english word, during the encore said “I don’t know much english but I do know one word: atlanta is best” son I love you…that was 3 words :’)

kihyun was constantly looking up to the 2nd and 3rd floor and saying like “1st floor, you ready? 2nd floor? 3rd floor?” and being so inclusive it made me so happy. when asked to be cute said he wanted to show off his romantic side instead and sang flower cafe. during his introduction literally did peace up a town down and started singing yeah lmao. kept complimenting the atlanta crowd like a lot. mirror stage was so intense he and jooheon do this dance where it looks like they’re about to fight at the end and the others made fun of it after the unit stages ended lmao. ad libs from heaven during pretty much every song

everybody screamed so loud for hyungwon during his parts and if he showed up in a vcr and everyone sang his parts so loudly and they set a mic stand out for him during ex girl and shone a spotlight on his empty spot during broken heart I cried a lil I missed him so bad :’(

they (esp jooheon) really wanted the crowd to be hype during blind which I thought was funny cuz it’s more of a smooth song than a hype song to me? but we were all like yEAH OKAY and everybody lost their shit during that song. and during trespass and rush remixes wow, it was insane, monbebe are really so powerful

also monbebe are all so precious??? I saw so many gorgeous people and all the outfits were so cute and everyone that I spoke to was super sweet. whichever member said “how are atlanta monbebe soooo beautiful???” dude idk either they just are

Athazagora

@sexysilverstrider clingwrap stuck to me… 

Keep reading

140 OF THE GREATEST LIRRY FICS OF ALL TIME. Yes, 140

Ah, welcome! Whether you’re a new lirry shipper, an old one, a larry shipper, a whatever shipper, this is the ultimate Lirry fic rec made just for you! (and my satisfaction). Took me like 100 hours to make. Basically if you wanna read some good Lirry fics, long or short, this is where you’ll find them. Even if you don’t ship Lirry give some a shot! I’ve bolded the ones that are must must reads but the others are great too. Sorry. i hate that i made this. Strictly from ao3. I’ve read lots off tumblr and wattpad too but can’t be fucked to add them. (order is oldest to newest i know i suck but some of the best are the older ones)

The Distance Between First and Second  (48,522) 

*PAINFUL. But amazing.*

He is happy. Really. He is happy for Louis. Happy for Harry. Happy for them. Happy for himself.

Until he’s not.

might like you better if we slept togetherFAV (7,038)

*UGH*

Liam is one of those people who seem to be able to handle everything, so Harry likes finding the cracks in his armour and poking at them. It’s satisfying somehow, making him vulnerable.

Calm, Collected, and Nice (2,688)

*dom liam like c’monnnn*

Sometimes Liam doesn’t want to be seen as calm, collected, and controlled. Sometimes he just wants to be controlling.

never looked surprised (10,436)

*YESSS*

Harry’s going to be a good friend now Liam’s got a broken wrist and can’t get himself off. Really. That’s all he’s doing.

If I Was Your Boyfriend, I’d Never Let You Go  FAV (10,776)

*i could read this 10000x*

“Harry, you essentially just told my sister that we’re dating.”

“Pretty much,” Harry says, and grins. “Champagne?”

in other words, pretending to be boyfriends fic

Cupid Got Me In a Chokehold (12,109)

It’s not as if he needs the extra friends. Not really. Definitely not curly haired, pretty eyed, nice lads anyhow. Nope. Not at all. (except he does).

like that fire running in your veins (1,697)

*omg this was the very first lirry anything i’ve ever read. it was like 2am. changed my life forever*

Where Liam is a hot doctor and Harry wants in his pants.

basicially an excuse for porn tbh

Harry’s Day Off (2,503)

Harry planned to spend his day off by himself, in his hotel room. He didn’t expect Liam to join him…

What Happens Here  FAV (12,089)

*THIS FIC RIGHT HERE IS SO NFJIRWFNEJWF*

Though he dubbed the “prude” of their small group of friends, Liam is smitten with gay porn star, Harry Styles. He spends more time than he’s willing to admit watching his videos and admiring him. His feelings toward the thrown into overdrive when he runs into the star while celebrating Niall’s birthday in Vegas.

Even When We Fight (30,128)

*grumpy liam thumbs up*

University AU. Liam’s the star of the debating society until Harry shows up and steals the spotlight. Meanwhile, Niall’s in love, Zayn lives while he’s young, and Louis looks after his friends.

Think About Summer (13,237)

*adorbs*

Liam is a pool boy. Harry is his best friend.

Good Boy (9,063)

*yes.*

Harry is Liam’s pet.

You can use me (15,781)

*lovely*

They start off just getting each other off as a comfort thing, it slowly turns into something more.

broken hearts, shattered songs (14,233)

Harry’s broken.

oh daddy now, now, love me good (1,225)

Harry likes to call Liam ‘daddy’ when they’re alone. Liam’s not entirely sure how he feels about this.

Glad Tidings of Great Joy

*cutenessss*

Basically, Harry comes over to Liam’s. They watch Elf and talk about their feelings and it’s all silly and Christmassy and surprise, there is kissing at the end.

It’s Hard Being Me (4,192)

A Lirry/Ziall story in which Liam is nervous around Harry and Niall and Zayn are a sickly sweet couple obsessed with getting Liam a date.

Drunk (3,701)

*just saying that Gothic Barbie was the first Lirry writer i really got into and everything she writes is perfection.*

The first time it happened Harry came stumbling into Liam’s room and Liam let him. He felt bad because Harry was drunk. That was probably Liam’s first mistake. He should have slept on the floor. Or taken Harry to his own bed. But of course, Liam hadn’t been thinking at all and he let Harry stay with him.

Harry had slept in his bed before, but they had both been sober. That night however, circumstances were much different. Harry had been especially… affectionate that night.

Twisted (13,185)

*louis being a dick*

Highschool AU where Liam and Harry are best friends. Harry has been crushing on Liam for years and wants to tell him how he feels, but there’s a new boy in school, Louis Tomlinson, who’s there to stir things up.

Five Christmases (13,202)

It only took 5 Christmases for Liam and Harry to get their acts together.

kiss me underneath the mistletoe (3,617)

where Harry and Liam kiss under the mistletoe a few times and then Harry has some sort of sexual revelation concerning Liam and his face and they kiss some more under the mistletoe and then don’t need mistletoe anymore idk

The First (6,363)

The first romantic thought Harry Styles had about his friend and band mate Liam Payne was not a pure one.

The Move (2,319)

When Louis wants to move in with his girlfriend, Harry is forced to move in with Liam. And he’s not thrilled about it.

The Five Times Liam and Harry Shared A Bed  FAV (3,808)

*EVERY 5X FIC ARE JUST YES*

It was almost midnight and Harry could barely concentrate. He could feel Liam breathing next to him. He’d been here before, kinda. It’s not like this is the first time he’s touched Liam or been next to him in a bed, and it wouldn’t be the last. But lately things have felt… different. Like there was some new energy between the two that couldn’t be explained.

The Five Times Liam and Harry Kissed  FAV (4,023)

The culprit? Harry Styles. Who else? Louis liked to claim he was the mischievous one in the group, but everyone knew it was really Harry. He was always saying and doing things that… well, Liam would never do or say.

The Four Times Harry was in Control… And the One Time He Wasn’t  FAV FAV FAV (5,681)

*i can’t even count how many times i have read this. its perfect*

Oh, Liam. That boy stirred something wicked inside of Harry. Something would need to be done about that.

Love is Love  FAV FAV FAV (25,030)

*i’m telling you this author is jesus and this fic is amazing*

Liam’s head is spinning. A feeling he’s unfamiliar with. He’s pinned against a wall, his lips pressed to someone else’s. Another unfamiliar feeling. Liam Payne does not get drunk and make out with strangers in bars. At least, he didn’t. Until tonight.

the burning rhthym in our hearts (22,489)

Harry Styles, frontman of an indie rock band, had definitely not spared a thought for popstar Liam Payne since they were briefly on the X Factor together except perhaps for a bit of scorn. Definitely absolutely not. Not until the moment his band played right before Liam at a festival, anyway.

Par for the Course (4,706)

*smut smut*

Where Liam’s filthy rich, golf is somehow a turn on, and Harry needs a lesson in the intricacies of rimming.

if it’s loving that you want (30,632)

*kind of an OT5 but still Lirry and wonderful*

In which Liam’s a sex pet that the other four boys have purchased, but he’s a lot shyer and frightened than they had thought he would be.

Get Mine Get Yours (2,641)

*STRAIGHT BFF’S NOT BEING STRAIGHT ARE MY FAVORITES*

Liam and Harry have the house to themselves.

These sins will lead you home (15,910)

Harry and Niall are Polo players and Liam is Harry’s new roommate with a boyfriend back in England. Things get messy.

once the show gets started, it’s bound to be a sight to see(26,331)

in which harry flirts a lot liam is a bit of a grumpy idiot.

Fucking Harry Styles(13,419)

*amazing*

Liam is the number 1 porn star on his site until Harry joins the company and steals his spotlight. So when his boss tells him that he has to make a video with Harry to boost ratings, Liam throws a fit. There is no one Liam hates more than Fucking Harry Styles.

Fucking Liam Payne (15,215)

Joining the same exact porn company as Liam and then actually surpassing him in popularity wasn’t exactly Harry’s plan, but it happened.

Fucking Liam twice and then then Liam asking him on a date had happened too.

Collecting Page-Six Lovers (14,949)

*THESE KIND OF AU’S ARE MY FAVES*

After his wife leaves him and their daughter, Liam is perfectly happy living a single life. He moves in with his friends Niall and Zayn, and the three of them raise Ginny together. Everything changes when Ginny wins a radio contest to meet her favorite singer, Harry Styles. It’s all a bit unnerving, but Liam can’t help but tag along for the ride.

i should run you a hot bath (4,406)

*fab*

Harry pines for Liam.

Irresistible FAV (15,230)

It shouldn’t be this hard to enjoy sex with your girlfriend.

or

The one where Liam can’t make things work properly with Danielle so Harry offers to help him out and things get a little out of control.

Waist to Floor (4,689)

It’s not like Liam sets out to touch Harry all the time; it’s just his hands sometimes reach out and touch without his permission and Harry is often the one on the receiving end of said touches. That’s how it begins, anyway.

i could pick it up (we could take it slow) (11,404)

*drunk shenanigans are my faves* 

Liam’s a handsy drunk.

My Super Hot Stepdad (3,954)

*don’t even get me started*

Harry want to be fucked by his hot stepdad, Liam…

waiting for a 'no’ that’ll never come through (6,139)

Maybe that’s why Liam’s become mad with the need to fuck - because Harry’s just so easy to please and always eager to please that Liam just - he can’t help himself, can’t stop himself from wanting it always and completely contradictorily, wanting to draw it out.

Wheels Keep Turning (2,056)

Liam so used to being felt up by his bandmates, and so used to keeping a lid on what he feels about them, that he doesn’t realise Harry might be looking for a reaction of a different kind.

Trouble FAV FAV FAV FAV (28,416)

*I’VE READ THIS SO MANY TIMES IT’S UNHEALTHY I AM A SUCKER FOR A TEACHER/STUDENT FIC AND THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT AND MORE ITS PERFECT.*

Liam is a young teacher and Harry is his overly charming and obnoxious student that desperately wants to get into his pants.

Caught (7,007)

They could flirt with each other and tease each other in public and no one would have a clue that behind the scenes they were secretly fucking. But trying to hide things from everyone was taking its toll and Liam and Harry had nearly been caught multiple times.

The Long Way Round (18,633)

*yessssss*

Liam and Harry aren’t dating, honestly, it’s just that everybody thinks they are. Everybody, that is, except Liam.

Meanwhile, Louis, Zayn and Niall fight over Doritos, Rubik’s cubes and the best way to get Liam and Harry together.

I’m Not Gay(2,298)

Liam has trouble accepting his sexuality. His friends help him understand.

Super Rich Kids (16,103)

The rich are thought to have everything they could ever want or ever need; however, Harry Styles is dissatisfied with his life as a super rich kid unfazed by drugs, alcohol, and sex. Liam isn’t like everyone else, though, and Harry can’t help but to notice it. Their summer spent together completely alters their lives and makes them realize that love will always matter more than the money.

I Want You To Rock Me (5,362)

Harry catches Liam watching porn. And then he does something about it.

Honey, you are the sea upon which I float (13,946)

The one where Harry and Liam travel around Asia, feelings ensue, and things get difficult when they make it back to London.

finders keepers, losers weepers (5,033)

Louis has a drunken revelation about two of his mates that actually turns out to be 100% accurate.

Too shy to ask for it (2,992)

Liam and Harry are very close twin brothers. Everything between them is nothing else but sweet, caring and lots of love.

On Letting Go (9,435)

or, the one where liam helps a friend in need.

Just Hold On, I’ll Carry You (3,756)

Harry’s exhausted from tour. He finds that Liam makes an excellent pillow, but sleeping on Liam leads to feelings. Lots of feelings.

spring green is much too yellow, sea green is far too pale (2,922)

*the cutesttttttttt*

Liam doesn’t really notice the depth of detail Harry’s put into his Barbara costume until Harry drops the suitcase and reaches forward to pick it up. There’s a glint of pink at his fingertips, a little brighter than usual, and Liam is so startled that the “Oh, Barbara” slips out before he can stop himself.

You’re So Fit, Li (3,299)

When Liam comes out of the shower after a concert, Harry can’t really keep his hands to himself.

dolled up in your room (7,972)

*i think this was the first crossdressing fic i read. good times.*

Basically, Harry wears panties and thigh-highs and Liam really, really likes it.

If it wasn’t for you, don’t know what I’d do (6,148)

After finding out that their loved ones have been cheating on them, Harry and Liam find comfort in each other.

Co-dependency, Drugs and Other Things That Don’t Mix FAV (13,145)

*soooo goooood*

Harry’s just a rich kid with drugs, sex and a cunt-like attitude on his mind. He’s got no time for anything other than fucking around, but then there’s Zayn with his fucking desire to fuck everyone and they’re trying to impress the new kid in town. Harry’s got too many issues of his own, why does he even hang out with all these twats?

Oh and of course, Harry’s just fucked up just at the sight of this new kid - goody two shoes and a muscular body. He’s just setting himself up for disaster.

empty sighs and (bottles of) wine (11,646)

Liam’s an author lacking inspiration and Harry is a waiter at the town diner who just so happens to catch Liam’s attention.

In AP English (17,090)

A highschool au in which Harry And Louis are the best of friends (sometimes mistaken for dating each other), Harry’s in love with the star of every sport in the school, Louis may or may not be in love with someone who graduated six years before him, and Niall and Zayn are so in love that they miss a lot of important things because they’re…keeping each other company.

Teenage Dirtbag FAV (7,699)

*HARRY HAS A TONGUE PIERCING CAN I JUST TALK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND*

Liam is forced to become Harry’s History tutor. Harry is the Punk guy that everyone talks about and Liam doesn’t know how he’s going to get through this.

I’ll Show You Who’s God (3,432)

Harry fucks Liam against the wall of a confession booth. In a Church. That belongs to Liam’s dad.

around the world in eighty thousand days  FAV (61,715)

*took me a century to read this but it’s incredible*

Harry sings in a band, travels around the world, gets a lot of new tattoos, and falls in love.

Don’t Push It  FAV FAV FAV FAV (29,914)

*THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS OF ALL TIME I HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING*

Harry hadn’t meant for Liam’s jeans to become so damn tight, and Liam definitely hadn’t meant to suggest that Harry be the one to fix it, but these things had happened. And now the two of them were suddenly facing a tension they’d never even known existed between them and no matter what they thought of they couldn’t find a solution to relieving it. And they were both far too stupid to back out now.

Pool Boy (5,701)

*ridiculousness*

So Harry Styles can’t swim and yet he’s a pool boy. He just cleans them, and has no intention of getting in them, until he meets a certain boy who can’t seem to be found out of the pool. Also, this boy may also be a secret that his best friend has been keeping from him for years.

Why so secretive with your extremely hot brother named Liam, Louis?

World Was On Fire FAV FAV FAV (48,484)

*THIS IS HEARTWRENCHINGLY IMPECCABLE PLEASE READ THIS NOW*

Harry spirals out of control. Liam does his best to hold everything together.

like a consumption that can’t be tamed (2,719)

*i love this so much idek*

liam just really, really likes the way harry eats.

Eau Sauvage (13,234)

or, Liam and Harry are endlessly confused by each other, until they work out a way to be slightly less confused.

nor are mine ears with thy tongue’s tune delighted (24, 655)

louis is the shrew that doesn’t want taming. harry happens to like being adored, thank you. liam is hopelessly lovesick. niall’s the man with the plan. and zayn is in it for the money, until he isn’t. a 10 things i hate about you au.

Tank Tops and Sweater Vests (9,200)

Nerd Harry and Jock Liam in High School. What more needs to be said?

Duck Me(1,142)

*ed is cute in this one*

Liam drunk texts Harry.

in your wildest dreams. (10,156)

*yes yes yes yes*

Liam can’t stop thinking about Harry’s arse.

(Really, that’s essentially the whole story.)

Waiting for Wonderful (30,184)

A sort of summer after high school AU.

Loosely, very very loosely based on, inspired by, and an homage to the 1989 Cameron Crowe film Say Anything.

The working title for this for the longest time was The One Where Liam is a Track Star and Harry is the Weird Kid Who Loves him. Another working title was Lloyd Dobbler is an Arsehole. The two of these combined sum up the plot pretty accurately.

Harry’s Song (10,359)

Liam Payne is a gorgeous hunk of a song-writing beast, and Harry’s noticed.

Malady (12,069)

*amazing*

Harry and Liam play I Spy, kiss a little bit, and get each other sick, all in an effort to figure out where they are.

My Super Hot Stepson (3,779)

*in case you would like to read the sequel…*

Four Years Later..

Harry comes home from a camp and Liam is happy and horny to see him but Liam sees a changed boy. He’ll find out what exactly has changed..

Taking Care (9,257)

When Louis suggests a game of Truth or Dare, Liam fears for his sanity while Harry fears for his heart.

Secrets (3,710)

Louis can tell that Harry’s up to something. Louis makes it his life’s mission to find out what it is.

Rock Me (7,672)

Liam needs looking after. Harry wants to be the one to do it.

Suck Harder Slut (3,341)

*OT4 with Lirry but omfg this is just.*

Zayn, Louis and Liam are the most popular boys in school that Harry has had a crush on for ages. Harry’s a nerd that often goes unnoticed until one day Zayn invites him over to Louis’ house for some fun.

Drive Me Crazy (5,605)

Harry was slowly going mad. That was the only explanation he had. And Liam, poor, sweet, innocent, gullible, heart-on-his-sleeve Liam was the reason for Harry’s madness.

bright light city (gonna set my soul on fire) (14,550)

accidentally married in vegas fic.

Crossed Wires (21,624)

One Direction need a new singer. Harry walks into the band and into Liam’s heart.

Elephant In The Room (3,172)

Louis wants to know why Harry and Liam don’t kiss each other like the rest of the band. What follows is lots of boy kissing to force Harry and Liam together for just one little kiss.

My Favourite Place(4,988)

When Harry is heartbroken, he somehow convinces Liam to pretend to be his boyfriend. Liam reluctantly agrees.

Healing Hands(17,785)

It should be easy because Harry’s had years of practice, but somehow he’s finding it really hard to treat Liam with any distance at all because all he wants to do is bury his hands in Liam’s hair and plant kiss after kiss on his delectable lips.

Harry is a physio, Liam is a patient, Harry has a huge crush and Liam may or may not like boys.

Mansion(7,293)

Harry is Liam’s favourite sex slave.

In the Dark (12,101)

The one where Harry has a secret admirer in the band but I can’t make up my mind which one it should be so I’m going to write an ending for each one of them.

Can’t Say No (4,470)

“Because you never say no,” he said slowly, huskily, his voice deepened with sleep. “You’re never too tired or too busy or too stressed. I like that. A lot.”

ninepins when we roared  FAV FAV FAV FAV (22,381)

*THIS IS SERIOUSLY INCREDIBLE READ THIS I CAN’T STRESS IT ENOUGH*

au. harry puts his life on hold. liam’s there to help him through it. (or the one where harry raises a baby and liam moves in with him.

Replay (12,352)

"Well, I like Zayn’s collection because it’s most like mine,” Liam muses as he grins at Zayn, who grins back at shared memories of blasting Zayn’s music at the top speaker level on late, lazy nights. “But Harry’s is the biggest.”

“Replay.“

Breathe (9,298)

Everybody plays that game when they’re a kid. The one where you see how long you can hold your breath before your face turns blue and you can feel all the oxygen leaving your body. Like the weight of the world is holding you down and you’re struggling just to stay afloat.

Like you can’t breathe.

Harry feels like that all the time.

all we seem to do is talk about sex (3,848)

*oh look Harry wearing panties some more*

Harry wears panties for Liam and sex ensues. (That’s literally it.)

Boyfriends (19,003)

Harry decides that he wants a boyfriend. Liam’s there for him, until Harry realises he maybe doesn’t need to look very far at all.

Figured It Out (5,745)

Harry’s sad. Liam goes into protective mode and throws a punch. Damage limitation ensues.

Cats and Kitchen Scraps  FAV (25,981)

*AMAZING*

Liam somehow ends up agreeing to letting Harry move in with him even though they’ve never even had a full conversation before, and Harry ends up forcing Liam into letting him adopt a cat that makes it it’s mission in life to get Harry and Liam together.

The Hangover (7,716)

Niall throws open the door and glares at them. "What the fuck did you do to me last night?”

“I guess that means you don’t remember anything either,” Liam says in frustration. “Here.” He shoves the rest of his painkillers into Niall’s hand and tugs Harry inside.

Zayn’s sprawled on the bed, one eye open, watching Harry and Liam warily.

“I think I might be dead,” he mumbles against the pillow. “Why are you in a pink robe?”

The Only One (10,223)

Liam’s homesick and lonely and Harry wants to make him feel better.

You’re my first, my everything (12,449)

Liam is a cool dad. Harry is his cool child. Liam buys them an Ipad. Things go downhil from there.

Keep You As My Own (2,296)

*this is a bit messed up but like, i read it again a couple times dont judge*

Harry works at Liam’s daycare, and one day decides to keep Liam as his own.

Truly, Madly, Deeply (21,570)

Harry’s a famous popstar. Liam’s a mostly-broke teacher. Liam’s pretty much perfect. Harry pines.

Pirates and Firemen (5,739)

*wonderfully wonderful*

"Our costumes for Niall’s mates cousins Halloween party have to stay a secret from each other,” Louis says, reaching over to sneak his hand into Harry’s bag and triumphantly extracting a packet of crisps and ripping them open over Harry’s empty protests. “All agreed?”

Niall nods, Harry shrugs and Liam just looks worried.

My Little Butterfly(3,504)

Harry is autistic and Liam is his step-brother. Harry seems to have an obsession with butterflies.

As Usual Styles Gets His Way(1,908)

A movie night in leads to Harry and Liam getting a little heated on stage, who knew a movie could get both boys so worked up. Harry, that’s who, because according to him “Styles always gets his way.”

We Can Be Anything (15,475)

"It used to be Niall, he thinks as he lets the water sluice down his body, hopes it’ll wash away some of his resentment. It used to be Niall who they all felt protective over. When did that change for him? When did it become Liam?”

Shiver (14,633)

*how can you not want to read about liam being a stripper*

Liam is a stripper. Harry owns a strip club. Louis is the star attraction. Zayn tends bar. Niall’s everyone’s friend.

Jealousy Doesn’t Look Good On You (13,402)

Or where Liam pretends to be Harry’s boyfriend to make Louis jealous.

does it make you feel alive? (5,062)

they get mobbed at lax. harry tries to comfort liam. things gets in the way.

Chasing The Clouds  FAV FAV (15,538)

*growing up fics are so important. this is beautiful*

“I don’t want to grow up,” Harry confides to Liam as they turn the corner and pause as they look at the menacingly large gates to their new school.

“Everyone has to grow up, Harry,” Liam says wisely. He squeezes Harry’s hand tighter before shifting his satchel more comfortably over his shoulder. “But we’ll do it together, yeah?”

Choices (5,290)

Perhaps that’s when he realises something might be wrong. That maybe he’s not okay after all.

Not-So-Secret Santa (3,611)

Liam pulls Harry’s name for Secret Santa, and he’s going to need some Christmas magic and a declaration of love to rival Love, Actually.

Half A Heart  FAV (36,019)

*i cried. ugh so so good*

"This is where it all begins, Liam,” Harry says as he wraps his arms around Liam’s neck and nuzzles into him. “This is where they’ll say it all began. Where the biggest boyband in the world was created. This moment will be in all the history books and this hotel will have a plaque outside with our names on it and a date and people will come here on tours to look at where One Direction all began.”

baby, it’s cold outside (22,035)

*CHRISTMAS FICS YAAAAAY*

Or the one where Harry and Liam spend Christmas together.

I Wanna Kiss You (6,534)

Total crack!fic. Liam can’t keep his hands, or his lips, off Harry. At all.

broke some rocks right through your window  FAV FAV (57,473)

*THE BEST*

Reception teacher Liam might be able to handle a classroom full of children with no sweat— but when it comes to letting himself fall in love, he finds he still has loads left to learn.

This Tune Makes Me Think of You, Somehow (18,062)

Harry doesn’t want to be at uni, or join some stupid a cappella group, or fall for The Boy With the Arms, but things don’t exactly go according to plan. But if he can win a championship and Liam’s heart along the way…well, it’ll be aca-awesome.

How I Pictured It (33,775)

Harry falls in love twice a week. But when he falls for Liam, there’s something about him that has Harry completely smitten. Side Zayn/Louis.

I’ve Fallen For Your Eyes, But They Don’t Know Me Yet (22,171)

Harry can’t stop adopting puppies because he wants to keep flirting with Liam, the hunky veterinarian.

Things I Can’t (4,561)

Harry’s jealous.

now i’m all exposed (5,911)

Harry and Louis are not at all amused when Liam and Nick become best mates.

standing in the way of control (49,618)

Liam’s flushed bright red from embarrassment and part of him wishes he could take the words back, just rewind for a few seconds and stop the words leaving his lips. But a bigger part of him, that part of him that hides deep inside where no one can see it, no one but him, that part of him needs this and if there’s a chance that Harry will say yes, if there’s the remotest possibility that Harry might be willing to do this, then it’s worth the shame and mortification.

the curse of curves (but not really) (2,308)

Harry goes to Liam’s to study, they watch a scary movie, and cute things happen.

(everywhere you look) there’s a face of somebody who needs you (27,309)

After it happens Harry disappears for nearly three months. He comes home to a worried family, an angry Liam, and Niall asking for a favor. He postpones his album and moves into Liam’s house with Niall to help raise his two kids. He expects for things to be hard and for his feelings to be a bit all over the place, all things considered, but he never expects to fall in love – especially not with Liam.

or a very loosely based full house au.

think about all the places we could go (28,521)

*OT5 but Lirry*

In which Louis thinks it’s funny to stamp the boys with Liam’s name, Niall likes having Liam’s name on his forehead, Harry’s jealous, Zayn just wants to spend time with Liam and Liam’s overwhelmed, really.

Baby Boy (10,951)

Liam Payne and Harry Styles are two university students, they’re roommates and they’re dating. Everything’s fine between them, or at least until one of them shows an interest in something so far fetched they push the other away. When the secret surfaces, will they come to an understanding and work through it or will it tear the supposed happy couple, apart?

Little things I should have said or done (I just never took the time) (8,840)

Harry and Liam are best friends who can never agree on what radio station to listen to. Also, Harry might be a little scared of the word boyfriend.

all i see is you (3,300)

Or Liam and Harry go on their third date to Machu Picchu and this fic happened.

written in my memory (21,646)

Or the one where Liam has amnesia and he struggles to connect with the boys

didn’t mean to turn you on (3,916)

It’s not as if Liam doesn’t find people attractive – he does. He can look at someone and admire the cut of their jaw, the softness of their eyes or the set of their mouth and know that they are good looking. Sometimes he looks at someone and his heart twists uncomfortably and he’ll get an overwhelming need to know them – to be involved in that person’s life – but he’s never really experienced any form of arousal and definitely never felt any desire to touch and be touched by someone in return. At least not until he went to bootcamp for the second time.

it’s easy to be loved (14,184)

Or Liam wakes up as a girl and Harry realises some things.

alecsexual  asked:

Friendly reminder that you're awesome and such an adorable cutie! ;;u;; Also, Baekyeol/Kaisoo are my OTPs to the max. I'd love to be your friend /shies away/ unless you don't want to be friends with me, haha. It's all cool! Also, just wondering if you have AFF?? Or do you post fics?? Any hella good recommendations? (I'm sorry pls ignore me you must have a billion asks already oopS) ;;; (p.s. I love your blog and the level-headedness of your replies!)

BaekYeol/KaiSoo fic Recommendations

(Read my reply to your message below the fanfic recs! :D) Before I start recommending stuff I’m going to answer you first with a no. No, I do not post fanfics lol. I want to, but after I write a chapter or two I lose all motivation to write any more. So basically, writing fanfics isn’t my forte lol.

Okay, so since you’re a BaekYeol/KaiSoo shipper, I’m guessing you already know the classics. In case you missed some, I’m just going to list them down again (since all the classics are breathtaking) ^^

[Legend: +Chaptered; -One-shot; ^Two/Three-Shot]


BaekYeol/KaiSoo classics:

The links I provided for “Anterograde Tomorrow” and “Absolute Chanyeol” is not where it’s originally posted. The original links of those stories are not accessible as of now, so the links I provided are where you can read them ^^ (i hope I won’t get sued for this or sumthing lol) and to read fics by: “jumpthisship”, you need to create a livejournal acc and join her community (she accepts anyone so don’t be lazy!) :D

Oh and, if I forgot any other classics, don’t hesitate to tell me. My mind got a little rusty since I accidentally deleted everything I wrote to answer this ask T__T

Since the fics I listed above are classics, I’m not going to give my opinions abt them. Instead, I’m just going to go on and list my personal favorites. So I’m sorry if some of these might not be of your liking, since they are my faves after all lol. But imo, the fics I’m going to be listing down are all worth the read, so here I go~


Personal Favorites <3 (From lowest to highest. Meaning, the last fic in this list is the best for me)


-CEO SOO IS DA BOMB. Lel, I mean…the Kyungsoo who fans cal “Satansoo” is def CEO DO in this fic xD I love how he’s all strict and all here even though he’s squishy af xD And I also love the slightly stupid Jongin here lel, but I just love tsundere Kyungsoo here xD Oh but beware, there’s also melodrama in here so it’s not just all giggles and that.

-This is just me, and my love for well-written smut. I hate reading smuts that seem…forced or unreal, or just anything cringe worthy actually (how the hell am I one to talk I’m young af). But anyways! Haha, policeman Yeol is hot af so…hehe if you’re searching for smut then read this xD

-THIS IS SO FLUFFY!!!! GAHH BAEK IS SO FCKING CUTE. KYUNGSOO, JONGIN AND CHANYEOL IS SO FCKING FUNNY AND EVERYTHING’S JUST FCKIN’. Loljk no. But really, this fic is extremely fluffy and heart fluttering <3 hihi it’s just squeal and giggle worthy bc Baek is so demn cute. Ugh, there’s no reason to not read this! >u<

-This fic has one of the simplest plots ever. But what can I say, simplicity is beauty. Such a simple story being told in expressive words and sentences, and the way Jongin and Kyungsoo’s relationship progress is just…wow. A very good read :)

-Again this is just me, and my love for well-written smuts hahaha. This fic has made me go whoo~ in more times than I could remember. But maybe it’s just bc I have a thing for dominance and submissiveness in smuts? Idk shame me now hahaha. Again, if you’re in search of good smut fics, read this XD

-I just read this actually hahaha. And I found it funny bc I can seriously imagine Baekhyun and Chanyeol acting like this. And then Jongin, Kyungsoo and the rest are just there getting completely annoyed bc of them. Just…very funny hahaha, read it for laughs, come on. Lift up your mood! ^o^

-This is long, so after reading it…It’s a damn rollercoaster of emotions. You’d feel all giggly, then you’d feel sad, then you’d feel giggly, then you’d feel all hot, then you’d feel all frustrated af. For a ride of different feels, read this fic! 

-Well, it’s….love. wtf? No, I mean…you’ll feel what the characters are going through. Like, you’ll get immersed into their world. Another ride of feels with a dramatic start and a splendid finish. A very good read :)

-This gives an outlook on life. Well maybe it’s bc it’s based on a vid, but still. This fic was as great as the vid it was based on. This fic is going to teach you to not judge anything by basing solely on it’s outer appearance and what other people claim to “know” about it. This is a great read not just for it’s feels, but for it’s moral lesson :)

-Lol, this is me and my love for well-written smut. I mean, who wouldn’t love to see tsundere Baek getting pwned and…well, you know what I mean haha. This is cute in it’s own way too!! (for me at least) And it has a sequel *Q* But I’m not going to post the link bc there’s only like…only 2 chapters and it’s still ongoing. And I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys hanging (although I’m pretty sure you’re going to be reading the sequel anyways).

-This is awesome and awesome and awesome!!! GAHH, it’s literally a “Daily Lives of Highschool Boys” (this is an anime series which can kill you with laughter btw) minus the crack and with the characters falling in love with each other <3 This is super cute and adorbs! And it can also happen in the daily lives of some people so it’s very fun to read ^^

-mpreg! Okay, I’m still young and I know I shouldn’t be having good thoughts abt teen pregnancy, but I can’t help but find Kyungsoo’s pregnancy here as a cute thing. I’ve no plans for being a party goer (my parents would kill me first anyways lol) and I don’t want to be pregnant at such a young age…but I think. That teen moms are people who should be given an award. Not because they got knocked up at such a young age, but bc they chose to give life to somebody. They’re waay better than those teens who you think are good girls, but then you’re gonna find out sooner or later that they had an abortion, just bc they can’t face the responsibilities and consequences of their actions. This is another fic woth a good moral lesson. From the same author too, jjokkomi seems to be awesome at this genre xD

-THIS IS SO CUTE AND CUTE AND ADORABLE. To the highest level!!! Crazy Kyungsoo is the cutest evurr!! OMG!! KYAAAAHHHH!!! I’m sorry, it’s just that I squealed too much for my own good while reading this fic. Hahaha, kei-senpai (I’m feeling giggly by addressing her that >u<) is amazeballs in fluff! <3

-This is a little heartbreaking honestly. But overall it was beautiful <3 You’re going to fall in love with Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s relationship here, it’s just sooo…/sighs dreamily/. I swear kei-senpai takes my breath away with almost every fic she wrote.

-$w4g93r Baek in the house yo! HAHAHA! Baek was so epic in this fic! This fcker is so funny and cute and just…hahaha fic. I swear, kei-senpai is too good at writing fanfics that it’s becoming scary. Lol whoo this is the 3rd of my favorites!! SO THIS IS A MUST READ ALREADY. Now on to the 2nd~

-Bc as you can see, I’m not that fond of angst. I have a weak heart I guess. I don’t cry that easily but once a fic has struck my heart, I get emotionally unstable for some days lol. SO HENCE, I LOVE THIS HILARIOUS AF FIC. This has got me rolling on my bed and holding my stomach bc of too much laughter xD Otaku KrisHo, awkward KaiSoo and just..HAHAHA THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST CRACK FICS EVER, SO JUST GO AND READ IT. IDC IF YOU’RE IN A BAD MOOD OR NOT, THIS WILL DEF MAKE YOUR MOOD A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER XD. Oh and, kaspian writes sooo many amazing KaiSoo fics. If you’re KaiSoo deprived then just go “here” then indulge yoursleves ^^ (almost everything’s rated so…read at your own risk? lol)

Aaaand the top 1 is….

  1. +“Not Intended” -EXObubz [BaekYeol; romance, comedy]

-BECAUSE FARA (EXObubz) IS ABSOLUTELY LEGENDARY. NI Baek is my favorite Baek amongst all the fanfics I have ever read. Baekhyun’s personality in this fic is just so…LOL. Literally, LOL. He’s funny af, but there are also lots of other qualities abt him that you’re bound to love <3  And his relationship with Chanyeol in this book? OH GAWD WOW, it’s so cute and funny but just…READ IT NOW OMG. IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS THEN YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON LIFE. LOL. READ IT. OKAY? OKAY. And also the other characters in this fic is funny. Just everyone in this fic is hahaha. But what’s amazing is that you can still distinguish one character from the other based on their personalities, despite all of them being funny. So I guess the characters are different kinds of funny? Haha, maybe Kyungsoo is occasionally funny, Sehun is unintentionally funny, Kris is annoyingly funny, just read this and fall in love. Not just with the story, but also with it’s characters :”)


So that was my fanfic recs! Now on to my reply to your tearjerking wonderful message <3


:O


I actually didn’t know how to respond to your message because…wow. I’m staring at my screen while thinking…whut? someone thinks I’m an adorable cutie? wtf? U for real?

Okay I’m sorry it’s just because…I’ve never read such flattering words in my life so I didn’t know how to properly react so hahaha sorry for my crappy reply. Just…THANK YOU SO MUCH OKAY? KNOW THAT I AM EXTREMELY GRATEFUL TO YOU BC OF YOUR KIND WORDS TT___TT

You’re ultimate OTP is BaekYeol/KaiSoo too? YESSSS!! OMG c’mere and let me hug you! (/TwT)/ /sends virtual hug/

Dafuq do you mean I might not want to be your friend? I’d be damned if I ever though of not befriending such a sweetheart like you ; A ; So yes, we’re friends now darling, go ahead and ask me all you want, I will never mind. I love answering questions <3 You actually read my answers? AND YOU EVEN THINK I’M LEVEL HEADED. well I’m not okay, I’m literally flailing around rn GAWD THANK YOU SO MUCH OMG YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HAPPY YOU MADE ME TTwTT

PS. Sorry if this was a little delayed, like I mentioned, I accidentally deleted everything I wrote so…just imagine the pain of having to rewrite everything above. Gahh, and there’s school too. So sorry darling, my answer also became a full-blown fanfic rec post.. I hope you’re fine with that XD

6

I’ll gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be with you all…

taekook fanfic rec #4

Back with 10 more fics to recommend! This list is special because EVERY SINGLE FIC IS A 10/10?? SO many amazing stories. ARMYs are so talented. The last fic on the list…perfection.

PLEASE feel free to recommend me any of your favorite BTS fanfics (any ship), because I will read them. Also, please let me know if you liked any of the stories I recommend!

IMPORTANT: All of the fics I rec will be on a scale of 8 to 10. (8- really good, happy I read it.  9- amazing, I loved it! 10- perfect, one of my favorites. [*]= top fave) 

I hope you love the stories as much as I do! As always, happy reading~ 


    1.  maybe we’re all just fools

Summary: Jeongguk likes to run. He’s never wanted anyone to run with him before.

AU: College, Fake-Relationship  

Length: 52.6k

Warnings: none

My Review: WOW…JUST. OH MY GOD. Let me start off by saying…. I freaking LOVED this fic. It’s now in my top five favorites. I measure how much I enjoy a fic by how much I have to stop and compose myself and how much I squeal from cuteness and boy did I do both so mANY TIMES. Usually I don’t really like fake dating AUs but this one blew me out of the water. The author did an amazing job. Please read if you haven’t already!!

My Rating: 10/10*

Keep reading

Swapped (SyndiSparklez One Shot Fluff)

Summary: Tom dares Jordan to steal a few potions from Wag and if he does it, he will give him the necessary items Jordan needs for a machine. Jordan does this, but when he and Tom drink the potions to toast their victory, magical things occur that catch them both off guard.

Warnings: swearing and body swap (idk if this is warning worthy but watevs)

A/N: I added this to a list that I have been keeping of SyndiSparklez things to write and thought that writing this one up would be a nice little break from finals and other school related stress. Enjoy my lovelies!


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So we’re coming to the end of 2015, it’s been a year… It’s had ups and downs but it’s coming to a close either way. What I do know without a doubt is how much of a positive impact all of you and your wonderful posts and reblogs have had over the last 12 months. I’ve never exactly grown to know anyone in other fandoms as I have people in the Person of Interest and Orphan Black where I started out with this blog but that doesn’t matter because none of them have had the welcome these two have had. 

Anyway, I won’t clog your dash with that much sappyness, but, I’m just glad to say that I’ve met some wonderful people here and made new friendships that I hope will grow stronger in the New year. So here’s to you my 100 followers? (how did we get here? I don’t know, but hey we made it! Good job!) Thank you for being wonderful, and I hope the best for all of you in 2016.

Honourable mentions: @thebadgerqueen Cassie how could I not put you here? My wonderful heartbreaking friend who likes to send me emotional plots to wake up to. Such a wonderful friend and partner in feels-breaking crime. You’re the best, I love you. // @officiallyfrisk CATBUG, HAHAHAAHA I’ve dragged you into POI hell with me and I’m not letting you escape. Oh god we’re going to have such a riot with this one. >;) // @kcatwrites Kcat, where to begin besides what a year we’ve had I’m so glad that you’re a friend and such a great writer! It’s an inspiration to read anything you write so keep doing it. // @hellahairflip Twin! What a year with so many great adventures in London, Italy and theme parks. May our travels and cracker taking from old Italian grandmas continue. // @drowning–slowly Saaam, Sam it’s been how long now? Years since I’ve met you and we’ve had such great times I hope you’re always around because you make me laugh so much. PLUS STARKID. //  @little-jellyfishes Claire you wonderful person. Another favourite to write with, you’re amazing and your accent is so adorable.

@ohcurtains Jas! One of my favourite people to talk to and blogs to see on the dash, you deserve the best of everything coming in the new year. Merry Christmas m’dear! // @marcus-kane Lauren, Lauren my wonderful Kabby shipping and Bear McCreary loving friend who I can always count on when I need to yell about my love for Black Sails or just OSTs in general. // @justanartefact Jess, Jess, Jess! I could go on for how glad I am we started talking, your commentary on the fic just ugh, I have no words for how much your support and kindness means to me. Plus you live in one of my favourite countries, how much more awesome can you get? // @rootcode (this glitched but I’ve just fixed it) it was an absolute pleasure to watch your descent into love with Root and I’m glad you enjoyed the show as much as everyone else I know has. Merry Christmas!  // @trishicasjones We haven’t really talked much but I always see you on my activity and it’s always a pleasure to see your posts :D // @thechildofthemoon Vickie, my fellow comic book fan, Spallen shipper and AC fanatic. Probably one of my first friends in the fandom when I joined it’s always a pleasure to talk to you. // @superles-n7 Paula! Another friend with adorable animals, my go-to person when I’m in need of screaming about the new Assassin’s Creed DLC (my heart still hurts) and I should also thank you for helping me create this fic idea and turning it from an idea into a reality! // @sh00t Krista! The blog with all the greatest collection of POI meta along with such a wonderful person behind it. You deserve the best in the future and I hope you achieve everything you aim to. // @tinygrumpshaw another person with a great taste in fandoms, POI, ATLA/LOK, Penny Dreadful to name a few who puts up with my odd occasional rambling about Evie Frye. Also a wonderful writer who deserves all the awards for her Shawcentric fic, like seriously it’s incredible.

This got stupidly long I’m so sorry aha, so I’m going to put this under a readmore from here.

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I haven’t added anything to my recs in 87,000 years, so as a belated pseudo-gift for @heroicbarnes , I decided to do a fic rec masterpost! There are about 140ish fics in this list, separated into sections. These are all Steve/Bucky fics; large majority of which are complete but I will make sure to mark WIPs. My personal favourites are marked with a 🌟. These are in no particular order. 

Fair warning, this rec list is m a s s i v e. Enjoy kids!

Keep reading

Candlelight

A little post-ep Camelot fic.

Robin put Roland to bed before he left for the ball, but after such an evening, he’s eager to check in again. His son is sleeping peacefully in his room on the guest wing, none the wiser for all that has taken place since he closed his eyes. Robin drops a kiss to his forehead and tucks the stuffed monkey that follows him everywhere more firmly into his grasp. “Sweet dreams,” he murmurs, glancing into the candlelit hallway, grateful for the quiet hum of voices, the flicker of traveling candlelight. The guests of Camelot share a dozen rooms in one tower of the castle, and he feels more comfortable in the knowledge that his son is safe here, amongst the residents of Storybrooke, that he will be protected.

His stomach churns as he tries to blink back the image of Percival drawing a sword and diving for Regina. She had been smiling so radiantly before, freed from some of the burdens that make ballrooms and castles places to fear and therefore to loathe. Her smile has not faded from memory, but nor will the glimpse he had of her terror as he lay on the ballroom floor.

Regina’s murmur interrupts his thoughts. “Henry’s in bed,” she tells him from the door.  

Robin turns to her voice, taking in her tremulous smile and wrinkled ballgown with a half-frown, though she is stunning still, of course, the candlelight reflecting bits of orange and yellow and silver against her skin and in her eyes.

“Apparently, amidst all of the excitement, he met a girl,” she tells him, her smile growing as Roland turns in his sleep and tucks his face against the monkey.

“Ah.” Robin chuckles softly, standing and joining her at the door, tilting his head as though he could understand what she is thinking better from a new point of view.

“How does your stomach feel?” she asks as he draws the door closed and follows her to her neighboring room.

“Fine,” he assures her, withering a little at her disbelieving glare. “Sore,” he admits. “But I’m fine.”

She throws a stream of magic in front of her to light the tall candles scattered about the room. It illuminates a small carafe of what a sniff confirms is tea, along with a beautifully scrolled note that reads for the Saviour. He considers the dark ceramic curiously, a touch suspiciously, as he listens to the soft thuds of her heels being deposited by the door. Her hand catches his just before he makes contact with its glossy brown surface.

“Wait,” she orders, curling her hand closed over his and drawing them both back. She waves a hand over the container, a stream of purple shimmering through it and then blurring out of existence. “It’s safe,” she decides.

“Regina—“he begins, turning his hand in hers so that he can slide his fingers between hers.

“For that matter,” she murmurs, glancing around the room. She waves a hand towards the bed, producing the same glimmer of magic, toward the small window, the soap, the stone floor, the wardrobe, the candles, the simple tapestries that cover two of the walls, each in rapid succession until she’s spinning, out of control, frantic and panicking and—

“Regina, stop,” he says, gently at first. “Stop,” repeated more firmly, a tentative hand on her forearm until the magic flickers and dies out. “It’s all right. There’s nothing here to hurt us.”

“You don’t know that,” she argues.

Her hands tremble as he gathers them between his and draws her to face him, tucking his chin over her shoulder and sighing as she allows some of her weight to rest against him.

Robin sways them gently back and forth, his palm coasting up and down her back, a frown tugging at his lips at the way these worlds seem so determined to disappoint her just when she’d been learning to trust herself again. But this was no act of fate, no just choice; it was the vengeful act of a man who does not believe in change and forgiveness. And she is safe.

“Percival was right,” she says, lips against his neck, “I am dangerous.”

“No,” he shivers, fingers edging into her hair and tugging it lose from its pins, drawing soothing circles against her scalp. “It is dangerous to think like him. To live for vengeance. You know that better than anyone.”

She lets out a sound, half laugh, half cry, and presses her face into his skin, her fingers digging into his back. He wishes so much, as he stands there and steadies her, that he could have been there for her all of the other times, the moments he knows about, and those of which he has yet to learn. For how many times has she borne these fears, this panic, while imagining herself to be alone?

““You need to rest,” he hums, “you’re dead on your feet.” He thumbs the heavy, shimmering fabric of her dress. “Why don’t you change? I’ll pour us some tea.”

She backs away only a few inches, lifts a hand, then drops it a second later. Purple spins around her, sweeping away the pale pink brocade and silver embroidery and leaving in its wake dark grey silk and deep blue cashmere, in the button-up and pants and robe of her land.

He could not contain the soft smile that pulls at his lips if he’d wanted, though he keeps his hands busy with the tea and cups.

“What?” she asks, as she waves a hand in his direction and his leather vest and boots and tunic become loose, soft cotton.

He shakes his head, stepping forward and lifting a piece of hair out of her shirt collar. He settles a steaming cup of tea in her hand. “You look like you again.”

She reaches out to cradle his jaw, smiling at him, her fingers smoothing across his skin. “You’re so stupid,” she insists, shaking her head and leaning forward until their foreheads meet. He feels the dampness of a tear falling from her nose to his, and loops his arm around her waist to pull her closer, “running at an armed man in the middle of a ball.”

“I thought it was rather dashing,” he counters, lifting his hand between them to wipe away her tear.

She laughs, her tears caught in the sound.

“I’m fine, Regina. We’re all right.” They stand there for a moment, each of them taking a large sip of their tea, and Robin relishes in the way that it banishes the chill of the room and the nerves of the night. He sets what remains of his drink on the vanity, then doing the same with hers. “Let’s go to bed, hm?” he offers.

A few moments later they are finally settled in the large bed, underneath heavy layers of beautifully embroidered fabrics that protect them from the harsh cold of the stone castle. It takes them a moment to get settled, Robin turning to avoid his sore stomach, Regina bumping into him a couple of times, and then she’s curled up against his good side, her head on his chest to rise and fall with his breaths, their bodies sharing warmth beneath white cotton and crimson brocade. He still marvels at how they fit, their bodies and breaths, at how this feels like his anchorage, like home, even in Camelot.

“No one else is dancing with you while we’re here,” he informs her, fingers trailing through her hair.

“Fine by me,” she agrees, her voice drowsy and calmer than it has been all evening. “I was scared,” she whispers.

“I know.”

“I’m still scared.”

A kiss to the top of her head. “I know.”

She slides her hand across his torso, nestling closer. “I want people to see me as—more than what I was.”

“Mm.” They are silent for a moment, as he thinks of how best to express the hope she has every right to have. “Do you remember when we first met?”

He feels her smile against his chest. “Which time?”

Robin grins. “All of them.” His fingers trace the curve of her shoulder. “You made quite the impression. Others will learn to trust you. As I did.”

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

He draws the ends of the blankets up around them, settling into the dragging pull of sleep. “Perhaps that’s where you should start,” he adds, as their breathing even out into the rhythm of sleep and he finally sees only that open smile of hers from earlier this evening, “By learning to trust yourself.”

DSTG Karl Urban Talks

okay first let me say this

KARL URBAN IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS jfc everyone was laughing for most of his talks okay i sincerely hope there is footage because i can’t possibly convey how funny he makes everything he talks about like

also KARL URBAN IS SO WONDERFUL I DON’T THINK IT’S POSSIBLE FOR HIM TO BE REAL

okay let’s go

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