ugh i have a lot of feelings about her past

anonymous asked:

What do you think about the Kirishima siblings? I think they are really interesting and I am sad I can't find many meta about them. They have common themes: they both are conflicted and present a duality in their behaviours (Ayato even more than Touka), they both like rabbits for unknown reasons. They have similar personalities and yet they end up taking completely different paths. In the Tokyo ghoul trumps Touka having one wing is the ace and Ayato having two wings is the two.

I love them. I love them so much.

I’m such a sucker for sibling relationships and I love their relationship especially because it’s complicated and they have very different beliefs and their lives put them in opposition and they’re pissed at each other, but they both still obviously care so much and they just want to help each other.

Growing up, after they lost their father, they only had each other. They spent their entire childhoods protecting each other and fighting to survive together and that changed both of them so much.

Losing their father also impacted both of them in slightly different ways. They both felt abandoned, and they were both infuriated by it. But they turned their anger on different targets. While Touka hated the CCG (probably also due to being attacked by investigators, injured, and forced to use her kagune and kill them when she was so young), Ayato turned his anger on their father.

Ayato’s thought process is a lot like Kaneki’s post-Aogiri – the world is divided into the strong and the weak, and the strong ones have the power to do what they want. Therefore, Arata must have been weak if he was taken away from them. So he joins Aogiri to become stronger – to prevent that from happening again and to be able to protect his sister.

(As a side note, I’ve wondered if that’s why Kaneki’s speech to Touka pissed her off so much. She already had to deal with her brother abandoning her to become stronger and protect her, when all she wanted was to stay with him. And then Kaneki goes and does exactly the same thing, after he found her injured and crying and begging her brother not to leave her again, and after Kaneki promises her that he won’t leave her alone. No wonder she was pissed at him.)

And like you said, it’s really interesting how they’re so similar, but they ended up on such different paths. Whereas Touka made the choice to follow Yoshimura’s ideals and try to learn to live peacefully, like Arata tried to do, Ayato decided to go along with the violence in the world and become stronger in order to protect her. I think this comes back to how they reacted to their father’s disappearance – Touka loves Arata and she doesn’t blame him for leaving, but Ayato does. In Ayato’s mind, if Arata had just been stronger, they wouldn’t have been left alone.

So of course they’re angry at each other. Touka thinks Ayato is being foolish and endangering himself and leaving her alone for no good reason. Ayato thinks Touka is being foolish and putting herself in danger by trying to live with humans – which he believes killed Arata and almost killed them when their neighbor turned them in to the CCG. They both think the other is making a mistake, and they each ended up alone because of it. But they still love each other so much, even if they’re pissed at each other.

The rabbit thing isn’t an accident. Touka likes rabbits, and she has a rabbit mask. And when she starts getting the attention of the CCG and the alias of “rabbit”, Ayato gets a rabbit mask too. He’s got the same kagune as her, and now a similar mask, so he can take her place and draw CCG attention away from her. As angry and brash as he acts, he just wants to protect his sister and all of his decisions were based on that.

And we see over and over that Touka misses Ayato so much. She thinks about him frequently and the thought of seeing him makes her pause. She just wants to live with him again, because he’s so important to her.

I’m dying for a Kirishima sibling reunion. I need those two to meet again and acknowledge their choices and mistakes and move past that and reconcile and be a family again, because they love each other and they need each other.

(Ugh sorry this got so long, I just have a lot of Kirishima feelings.)

3

Witches Of Moonlight Falls [Season 6]; Part 252}
         — Knock , Knock , knock —

It seems sisterhood is not all lost. The winds of Moonlight Falls cater to Bernadette’s bewitching news, which has also re-conjured the mysterious hags chill to return. However this time nobody had ushered the word ‘hag’. It’s arrived on It’s own accord and we all know that when a chill emerges, something witchy follows.
Bianca: “ Mom! Please! Even though your dead I have to say I’m kinda mad at you! Like, I totally love you with with all my heart moma, but how could you keep that from us for all these years? We have another SISTER! I’m freaking out about this moreso than being pregnant with a demon right now! Like seriously mom! This is crazy! What’s her name, huh? Were the hell is she! ”
Beatrice: “… I wonder who the bloody Mary was? [sigh] UGH! I can’t beleive this! [furious] We’ve had to deal with a lot of things over the past six or seven years in particular but I don’t think I can accept this mother! It feels like Belinda has a replacement for devils sake. Was this hugde secret was some kind of charmed back up for the magical community?… The elders probably knew Belinda was going to die. The seer is a right bitch too, she’s probably watching right now and was behind all this! The day I kiss the Satan is the day I go up those gods in their smug heavenly thrones; who treat us all like they’re toys and puppets and burn them all at a darn stake myself!! ” Beatrice scorns a curse at the gods including the goddess of war, Athena; who’s helped them so recentley. Athena won’t be happy about that remark especially since they haven’t repayed her.
Bernadette: “ Now, now. I said not to over-react this way! You summoned me for from death to help and that’s pretty much was your last chance. You must FIND her! —Wait… Blessed be by hekate’s tea! It seems your fourth sister is closer than you think… ” 
Beatrice: “ She’s in Moonlight Falls? ”
There was a silence and then three knocks at the door
*Knock knock knock*
Who’s there? 
Bianca whips her head around to the front door in response to the sudden eerie knocks, three to be potent. Beatrice keeps her eyes on her mother’s spirit but she feels a presence more so.
Bianca: “ [gasp] Only a sinner would visit at this time of night.” Bianca felt a magical presence too and she knew Beatrice was feeling It aswell. A magical pull had formed a noose and was tugging around there necks from behind the front door
Beatrice: “ Sinner? It’s not 1848 Bianca! Wait, [shocked] No… It couldn’t be…. Could It? ”
Bianca gazed at the door, her lipstick shade changed with her emotions.
*.*.*.* Who’s at the door? Or… What’s at the door? What If It’s now a time door? Is there a reason the hags chill returning at this very moment? Hags are evil old haggered witches and the chill from a hag can arrive when she’s near. So is it a hag at the door or a long lost sister?

3

LOOK AT CARMILLA

LOOK AT HER

She starts off as this cool, i-don’t-give-a-flying-fuck-about-anything, muh-tragic-past type but really she’s just this big innocent poor puppy kitten who actually cares a lot about her friends.

After Laura gives her a kiss, Carmilla’s super disappointed and sad because she knows she’s getting Laura’s hopes up but she doesn’t want her to feel betrayed and disappointed.

“I know you can do it Carm. I believe in you. I love you.”
*Shit fuck goddamnit why does this have to happen. I love you. I’m sorry.*

So I talked about this on my blog already, but I want to talk about it more.

I think it’s very interesting that Iris asks Barry to come over just so she could give him the Nerd Survival Kit. Things were awkward. They were probably somewhat avoiding each other. Iris could have just asked Joe to give it to Barry. She could have given it to him when she was moving out, given it to him when Eddie was around. But she doesn’t do that. She reaches out and she asks him to come over. Joe is there, but she keeps it a West-Allen moment

The fact that it’s from their past, their childhood, it’s almost like a symbol of her letting go of that and relinquishing that history. Especially when you consider that she’s moving out, she’s moving onto the next stage of her life. The question is how Barry fits in that life now that she knows about his feelings. If he can fit in that life now that she knows. Right now, she doesn’t know her feelings. She knows that she loves Eddie as much as she knows what romantic love is. She knows she loves Barry as her best friend, but that’s it. We don’t know what she’s feeling, but Grant’s interview implies that she still doesn’t understand or recognize what she feels for Barry.

She doesn’t know her feelings, but she does know that things are awkward. Barry can barely speak to her. He can barely look at her. Does he think he can still be part of her life? It doesn’t seem that way. And she looked so sad about that. She stared after him and let out that sigh after he went to his lab to talk to Joe. Things aren’t the same.

Moving out is such a scary experience. Change in general is such a scary experience. The future is so unclear and you can’t ever predict what’s going to happen.

Growing up, she probably thought Joe and Barry would be her two constants. Then Barry was in that coma. She got him back, but she already knows what it’s like to lose Barry. She knows she can survive without him. She did it for 9 months. I feel like part of her internal conflict would be whether she lets the awkwardness ruin their friendship. Whether she lets him go and moves on to the next stage of her life. And I don’t think she wants to let it ruin their friendship, but if he can barely look at her, if she’s breaking his heart, then what else is she supposed to do? [This is why it’s frustrating that we didn’t get to hear her thoughts. It would have been so interesting :/]

Anyway, but then Barry talks to her and he tells her that he’s in her future. He sees himself in her future. It’s okay that she doesn’t love him back. It’s okay that she’s with Eddie. The awkwardness will fade eventually. He’s fine with it and he still wants to be part of her life.

Which is why the picture is so important. By virtue of being a picture, it represents the past, but it’s also significant to note that it’s not a childhood picture. It’s a picture of adult Barry and adult Iris. It’s not like the backpack, a symbol of their childhood, and something sentimental to Barry. It’s present-day, it’s the future, it’s WestAllen. Barry Allen will always be in Iris West’s life, no matter what. She doesn’t have to let go. She doesn’t have to move onto the next stage of her life without him. He is still one of the only constants in her life.

And ugh. I just have a lot of feels about this

- Mod Ash