ugh i hate when i have to do things myself

Being in a polyamorous relationship or relationships is hard. Not because of the increased need for patience, communication, understanding, self-knowledge, and kindness- those things are skills that can be built and grown. I’m talking more of how, no matter how amazing my poly family, how good I ever get at ‘being poly’, I will always face people outside of that family not understanding.

If I’m out, many still don’t understand the way that more than one love can be in our lives, they choose not to talk about it because it seems awkward or weird to them. Some even withhold support to show their righteousness.

If I’m not out, ugh. I catch myself holding in my joy, because there’s no way to share it without endangering myself. I keep my stories, even of small family joys and kid things, to myself more often than not. And when people wonder about my life now that my husband has left, I have to deal with feeling like a fake because I can’t tell them my joys alongside my sadnesses.

And I hate it.

And there’s nothing I can do about it, except to be as out as I am safely able. And talk about how it is hard, and not pretend it isn’t. Because I can’t be the only one feeling this, and I’m not a failure for finding this weight heavy to carry.

3x23 missing scene fic - Rebound dress

Summary: Felicity doesn’t know what to pack for the roadtrip with Oliver. He ends up helping her, and in result he finds the black dress she wore to a double date with Barry.

Tagging: olicitykisses sentence-fragments redpendreaming snowssmoak diggo26 alsaheemsmoak thebelovedsaralance (special thanks to Anna for letting me use the ‘rebound dress’ phrase) (anyone else wants to read my lousy attempts at fic writing?)

She was standing in front of her wardrobe with a crease between her eyebrows. It was a crease created by concentration and frustration. She had a huge dilemma. The dilemma was a courtesy of no other than Oliver Queen. “Damn him and his secrets.” Felicity cursed under her breath her new boyfriend.

As if on cue, someone knocked on the door and she got yanked from her thoughts. “Coming!” she yelled as she walked to open the door. “Oh, you will be.” a low growl and a cheeky smirk welcomed her when she finally opened. She actually froze with her mouth hanging and she couldn’t gather herself to reply. Oliver Queen. Dropping sexual innuendos.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Ugh, I hate to do this because that baby is clearly plastic and I in no way want to lend any credence to Team Daddy Cool, but I currently have a 3 month old myself, and in bright sun, he closes his eyes as a defense mechanism and ends up falling asleep. Also, when he's around a lot of people and noise, he gets over stimulated and goes to sleep, also as a defense mechanism. He does move in his sleep, though, because he is a human person who can actually move, so...

That’s the thing though, your child has a reaction.  He moves.  Even if his reaction is to close his eyes and sleep.  I also bet your child changes facial expressions in his sleep.  This baby doesn’t ever move.  It always looks the exact same.  The exception of course being when it is an entirely different baby. 

anonymous asked:

Rex, I need your help. I read the post about shaming somebody bc they live their life differently &I'm afraid that's me,but I don't wanna think tht way! I'm that "books over parties" chick & I try not to judge but sometimes I do it mentally and I hate myself for it. It's hard, maybe because I grew up learning that it was wrong to do drugs,drink, etc but sometimes I even think wrong of other girls who choose to show cleavage to impress guys and idk ugh I don't want to do that, have any advice?

Well the thing is, when you judge someone you take something you know about them and you envision that their entire life revolves around that specific thing you know. You’re dehumanizing them. You gotta remember that everyone around you is an entire person with feelings and pain and interests and people they love and people who love them. 

I’m not sure if you’ve followed me for very long but I enjoy parties and drinking and dressing up and showing off my lady lumps and casual sex from time to time. But I also love reading and art and humor and knitting and I cry over bunnies and I’m watching a cartoon about snails right now while my little brother is lamenting about a transformer that died in the last movie.

So you just got to remember that these tiny things you see people doing do not imply that they are somehow less than you or that their choices are an indicator of the kind of person they are. Everyone is just kind of wandering around trying to enjoy the time they have here the way they want, ya know? As long as they aren’t hurting anybody it’s really no good to judge. I’m glad that you want to change your perspective, honey. It’s a great start. :)

Ep.29 R & R

The Next Day

I didn’t have anything to scheduled for today so I decided to have a girls day with Melissa. We’re gonna go to go shopping, visit the spa, and we might go see a movie too. Chris didn’t have any plans today either so he and Mijo are going to spend the day together.

“Where are you and Mijo going?”

“Strip club.” Chris said nonchalantly.

“No you’re not!’ Chris laughed and said "I’m just playing.”

“You better be.”

“Relax Robz. You know you’re the only girl I wanna see on a pole.”

“Aww that’s sweet.”

“You know how romantic I can be.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“I’m know.”

“So where are you and Mijo really going?”

“Dave and Busters.”

“I’m surprised y'all childish asses ain’t going to Chuck E Cheese’s.”

“We got banned from there a long time ago.”

“Oh my god forreal?!”

“Yeah, and I don’t want to talk about it. It still hurts.” Chris said before he burst into fake tears.

“Shut up big baby.”

“So where are you and Mel going?”

“Shopping and the spa. Typical girls day.”

“Make sure to get your claws clipped.”

“My nails are not that long.”

“I was talking about your feet but you do need to do something with them nails. They’re tearing my back up.”

“Shut up!” I said, slapping his arm.

“Hit me again and I’ll get Mama Fenty on your ass.”

“Oh shit. We haven’t told her about the baby yet.”

“Your fat ass was too busy worrying McDonald’s you didn’t even call your mother.”

“I’ll call her right now.” I got my phone out of my purse and called my mothers number. It rang twice before she answered.

“Hello love.”

“Hey mummy.”

“How are you?”

“I’m good. I have to tell you something.”

“What is it? Is everything alright? I don’t have to fly out there do I?” My mother asked quickly.

“Mummy, I said I’m good.”

“I know but I’ve been hearing about you being sick and everything so I got a little worried for a second.”

“I’m fine and I actually have good news.”

“Oh really? What is it?”

“You have a grandchild on the way!”

“Oooo Robyn you’re pregnant? I’ve dreaming of fish lately but I thought Rajad got one of these fast little girls pregnant.”

“Yep, I’m pregnant.”

“Thank god. I thought I was gonna have to kill Rajad.”

“Oh my god mum.”

“Is Chris with you right now?”

“I’m here Ma.” Chris said.

“Congratulations sweetheart. I’m sure you’re gonna be a great father.”


“When are you due Robyn?”


“I’m gonna try to fly out there so I can be with you when you have the baby.”

“You do that Ma. I can’t wait to see your beautiful face.” Chris cooed into the phone.

“You are too much Chris. I hope the baby has your charm and freckles. They are adorable by the way.”

“Thank you.”

“Can you stop flirting with my man Mum?” I asked.

“We’re just talking Robyn.” She said. Yeah right.

“She just jealous Ma. Don’t worry about her.”

“I don’t know what she’s jealous about. I’m not the girl you’re going to put a ring on.”

“I don’t know Ma. Robyn be acting up sometimes so you might have a chance.” Chris joked. Ma laughed and said “I’m too old for you boy but seriously, when is the wedding?”

“We’re not thinking about marriage right now. I’m just worried about my career and my baby in Robz stomach.”

“Okay but there is going to be a wedding right?”

“Sometime in the future. Hopefully” I muttered the last part so no one could hear me.

“You two are still young so there is plenty of time for you guys to take that big step.”

“And plenty of time for us to make something happen if Robyn doesn’t act right.”

“Okay, that’s enough. I’m about to go out with Mel so I’ll talk to you later Mummy.”

“Alright, bye Robyn. Tell Melissa I said ‘Hello’.”

“I will. Bye.” I said before I hung up the phone.

“Man, why did you do that? You saw me trying to talk to my woman.”

“Cuz I didn’t want to listen to you flirt with my mother.”

“Is somebody jealous.”

“Not me.” I started to get my stuff together so I could get ready to go and Chris pulled me into him.

“You know I love you baby.”

“I know. I love you too.”

“Can I have a kiss?”

“Why don’t you ask my mother for a kiss?”

“Come on Robyn. Don’t be like that. I only want you.”

“It better stay like that too.” I said before I pecked him on the cheek.

“But if your mama was a couple years younger….”

“Bye Chris.”

“Have fun baby.” Chris said before I walked out of the door. When I got into my car my phone started ringing.

“Hey bitch!” Mel yelled when I answered the phone.

“Sup hoe. What you doing?”

“Waiting for you.”

“I’m on my way now. Where do you want to go first?”

“I was thinking we could go to the spa first and then go shopping afterwards. My back is killing me.”

“Mijo been putting it on you huh?”

“Ye-…N-..Girl mind your business and hurry up and get here.” Mel said before she hung up. I don’t know why Mel is still shy when it comes to sex. She ain’t a good girl no more. From what Mijo told Chris, she is just like me when it comes to the bed room. I picked up Melissa and ten minutes later we were at the spa. We walked in together ignoring all the paps and their stupid questions. Both of us stripped down into our robes and made our way to the massage beds.

“Are you feeling alright Robyn?”

“Yeah, I’m fine why?”

“Just asking. You know when your pregnant you can have morning sickness and all that.”

“Yeah I know. I’m fine though.”

“I know you’re glad you got a day off. I’m surprised you didn’t spend the day bouncing on Chris’ dick.”

“You’re funny Mel. I wanted to hang out with my best friend. I know we won’t have a lot of times like this after the baby comes.”

“I know right. Ima miss you.”

“I’m not gonna be gone forever. I just won’t be able to turn up with you as much.”

“Looks like I’m gonna be stuck with Yusef.”

“Stop Mel. You know that’s your bae.”

“Ugh, I hate that word.”

“I talked to Jen yesterday.”

“What did she say? I bet she’s not gonna let you do a lot of stuff because of the baby on the way.”

“We we’re just talking about the events I could and couldn’t go to. I can go to the big things like the VMA’s and BET awards but I won’t make it to the AMA’s. Chris is the one who doesn’t want me to do anything.”

“When are you due?”

“Like mid October but Jen said I won’t have myself together by the AMA’s.”

“But the AMA’s are at the end of November.”

“I know. I don’t think Jen knows what she’s talking about.”

“Why doesn’t Chris want you to do anything?”

“He’s afraid that I might stress me and the baby out if I do any work. I told him I could handle it but he said I’m not gonna be doing a whole lot when I’m carrying his child.”

“Damn, the way he bossing you around you’s think that he was your husband or something. Are you guys getting married soon?”

“Ugh, why does everyone keep asking that?”

“I mean it’s just that you two are in love and now y'all got a baby on the way. I figured he was gonna wife you up.”

“We won’t be getting married anytime soon.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think he’s ready for marriage. Every time someone asks about marriage he says "We’re not thinking about marriage right now.”. We never talked about marriage so he doesn’t know how I feel about the situation.“

"How do you feel?”

“I can see myself being married to him. If he asked me to marry him I would say yes in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t marry him tomorrow but I’m not gonna wait forever to get married either.”

“I feel you.” We laid in silence enjoying our massage until I heard Melissa gasp.

“What’s wrong?”

“Look who just walked in.” Melissa said, eyeing the door. Oh come on really? I can’t have one peaceful day.


Me and Mijo were having the best time at Dave and Buster’s. We were joking around and laughing and I was killing him at all the games.

“Man you’re cheating!” Mijo yelled as I collected my tickets from the basketball game I killed him at.

“Naw, you just suck.”

“Can we take a break. I’m tired.”

“Sure. I bet losing is exhausting.”

“Shut up man. I let you win.”

“I thought I was cheating.”

“Whatever man. Let’s go to the bar.” I put my tickets in my bucket and made my way to the bar. Mijo and I ordered beers before we started talking.

“How are you and your wifey doing?”

“Robyn is fine. What about Mel.”

“She aight.”

“How was the doctors appointment?”

“It was alright. I almost got arrested though.”

“What? What happened? You ain’t like the way the doctor was touching on Robyn huh?”

“Nah it’s not that. That bitch nigga Drake was there.”

“What the fuck was he doing there? Was he trying to serenade Robz uterus or something?”

“He got some girl pregnant and she had an appointment.”

“Why y'all get into it?”

“He was trying to talk to Robyn and then his little hoe started talking and the next thing I know I’m dragging Robyn out of the doctors office.”

“Robyn was fighting Drake?”

“No, she was on the pregnant bitch.”

“Damn she a straight gangsta.”

“You already know man.”

“Y'all are meant for each other cuz both of y'all are crazy as hell. When you gonna put a ring on it?”

“It won’t be anytime soon.”

“Why not? Y'all about to have a kid.”

“That don’t mean I wanna marry her. I’m not trying to wife someone up this young.”

“You don’t have to marry her tomorrow but you can at least propose.”

“Naw man. I’m chillin. Plus I’m young, I got plenty of time for all that marriage shit.”

“Okay but you better remember that she ain’t gonna wait around for you.”

“I’m not gonna make her wait forever. Give me like a year…two tops.”

“Yeah alright. Ima hold you to it.”

“You getting on me, what about you and Mel?”

“We working on something.”

“You gonna propose?”

“Naw not right now. We just got together. I will in like a year or so.”

“Ima hold you to it.” We both laughed and chugged our beers.

“Look who you talked up.”


“Look over there.” Why I gotta see this nigga two days in a row?

After I left the studio I decided to go to the spa. I was recording all day long and I even laid down a couple verses to this one song called 'Love More’. I was told that the song needed a little something and I could be that little something if the artist liked my verse. I love the song already and I’m hoping that I’ll be able to get on track. I was stressed from all the work I’ve been doing and I really needed some rest and relaxation so the spa was the only place I could go. When I walked into the spa the employees greeted me and led me to the back so I can change. I walked into the massage parlor and I felt all eyes on me. Then I saw one pair of familiar green eyes pouring into me.

“Come on let’s go Melissa.” I heard Rihanna say to her friend.

“Robz don’t let her ruin out fun. She’s not bother us.” The masseuse led me to my massage bed that was conveniently right next to Rihanna’s.

“Oh come on!” Rihanna said when I laid down on the bed.

“Do we have a problem?”

“Just chill Robyn.” Her friend said.

“Naw what’s up?”

“Nothing. I just don’t want to be near a prostitute that’s all.”

“Oh I’m a prostitute? You’re just mad cuz I fucked your man!”

“So you’re happy to be a hoe?”

“I’d rather be a hoe than a baby killer!”

“Bitch what?!”

“Don’t play dumb. It’s all in the blogs how you got an abortion.”

“That shit ain’t true! But you truly are a hoe!”

“Robyn, let’s just go.”

“Naw she wanna talk shit. How about we stop talking and throw hands.” I said as I got of the table and tightened my robe.

“Ain’t nobody scared of your hoeing ass.” Robyn stood up and her friend got up and held her back.

“Robyn you don’t need to be fighting. You can hurt the baby.”

“There ain’t no baby. That bitch killed it. She calling me a hoe and she didn’t even know who the baby daddy was.”

“I’m gonna have to ask you all to leave if you don’t settle down.” The manager came over to us and said.

“Let’s just leave now.” Her friend said.

“You know what I should leave. I don’t wanna touch that bitch and I don’t know what she got.” They turned around to leave and I yanked Robyn’s hair. She screamed and clawed at my hands while her friend punched on me. We all fell to the floor and wrestled with each other until security broke us all apart.

“Ima fuck you up the next time I see you!” Rihanna yelled as they dragged her and her friend away from me. I fixed my robe and stood up to find everyone staring at me.

“What the fuck y'all looking at?!” I caught a glimpse at myself in a mirror on the wall and I saw that my lip was busted and my eye was swollen. Ima fuck those bitches up for this.

I had my nieces for the weekend and I decided to take them to Dave and Busters. We were having a good time and we were just about to leave when I felt someone staring at me. I turned around and saw Chris sitting at the bar glaring at me. I was going to ignore him and leave but he was in my face in 2.5 seconds.

“Fuck you doing here man?”

“What does it look like?”

“Don’t get smart with me. I already wanna bust your head open.”

“I’m spending time with my nieces.”

“Why you always gotta be where I am?”

“Chill out. You acting like I’m stalking you or something.”

“Well you stalking my girl so..”

“She wanted me around.”

“She don’t want you now so stay the fuck away from us!”

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think think you were threatened by me.”

“Nigga ain’t nobody worried about your bitch ass.”

“Then why does it matter whether I’m around Robyn or not? Because you know if I wanted Robyn I could have her!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“You mad cuz it’s the truth? She was madly in love with me and she was going to marry me and you know what else? I hit it first!”

“Look nig-. Man you lucky you got these kids with you cuz I would be tearing you to pieces right now.”

“Chris, let’s go.” His friend said.

“Stay the fuck away from me cuz these kids ain’t always gonna be around to save you.” Chris said before his friend dragged him away.

Things I say in school:
  • <b> Me:</b> I'm hungry!<p><b>Me:</b> Is it time to go yet!?<p><b>Me:</b> Why do we even learn this!?<p><b>Me:</b> Do you get it??<p><b>Me:</b> When's lunch?<p><b>Me:</b> I hate you, and you and you and oh definitely you.<p><b>Me:</b> I don't like you.<p><b>Me:</b> What the hell is wrong with you?<p><b>Me:</b> I DON'T GET IT!<p><b>Me:</b> Do you have gum?<p><b>Me:</b> Ugh, just give me a gun to kill myself.<p><b>Me:</b> You what??<p><b>Me:</b> Sherlock, text me please.<p><b>Me:</b> Oh, just because she's pretty so she got a bless you and I'm not you cant say bless you to me!?<p><b>Me:</b> Why are so stupid?<p><b>Me:</b> Doctor, take me now!<p>