I’m so blind in my eyes, I can not see what others see in me, I never felt sexy, or cute, the guys toy with my heart and mind, the women’s ( girls) picks or talk down on me cause I don’t care for the conversation about sex or love.
But when I look at this picture of me all I can say is ’ Grace an Mercy’. A peace of mind, a heartfelt soul, sassy with southern class, soft to the touch. Why do I always meet to butt hole of the land. Ugh! ..
Being vague because no spoilers but oh my fucking god "I tried" and I swear to God I'm soaked to the bone in rain right now goddamn that felt real. And the lights??? I mean seriously, who the fuck do you think you are? Also, insert Mindy Kaling gif: number one, how dare you.
re: “i tried”:
Ugh I’m so glad you liked the imagery, it was so much fun to write, and usually it comes out all purple-prosey. This fic is eating away at my soul in the best way and you are fueling my fire.
idk man but when we talk everything just feels good. right. safe. it’s like a soulmate bond but not lovers. just two souls perfectly compatible. it makes better sense in my head. I’m so glad I found you. I’ve never had a boring conversation in the five years I’ve known you. and I’ve never felt like I had to try to keep our relationship going. it just works. even when we’re not talking. for weeks or months. it’s always just, there. I can’t describe it. it’s too perfect for words. even calling it perfect feels wrong. cheesy. it’s not a sappy love story. it’s just us. it’s never felt wrong. it’s just right.
I wish I was addicted to drugs and alcohol, smoking till my lungs felt like fire, or sneaking around but instead I am addicted to self destruction the way I curl up in the bathtub sobbing while the hot water stings my flesh or the way I cut open my veins in search of a better person or something as simple as not looking both ways when crossing a street. But no matter if I throw up after every meal or don’t eat at all, the weight I shed feels unrewarding to my throbbing hollow heart, and if you’re ignorant enough to think depression or an eating disorder is a choice go check in on your kids, family members, or friends and see how they’re doing.
I hope I’m not too late. I was tagged to do the 20 beautiful people challenge a day or so ago by domeeneeca. (thank you lovely ^-^)
I haven’t felt beautiful as of late, on the inside or outside. This morning was especially difficult. Posting this, to me, is a step I need to take in order to take better care of my mind and soul. “My soul is beautiful. I am beautiful.”
I wish I could tag every wonderful spirit out there but I will keep to the trend and tag 20 for now.
I used to always describe myself using phrases like
caved in chest, hollow bones, empty heart,
tired soul, and I swore everything that
was keeping me alive was fighting against
fate and time because I felt like a particle of
darkness that had no business being in
the light or having a life where happiness
existed because that’s what heartbreak
and sadness did to me.
But you came along and reminded me what it
felt like to have a beating heart and you reminded
me what it felt like to be warm and you reminded
me that it’s possible to find a spark in the dark
and you reminded me of everything I forgot
when my love was lost and goddamn–
I am so lucky that I found you again.