ugh i don't like it but take it just take it

anonymous asked:

Hi, 7goodangel. I am here to ask you about PaperJam as a shy, smol and innocent being (mainly thegreatrouge made him be). There has been some conflicts regarding his trait. Some said his canonical personality is a jerk, like what you wrote in his bio / info and some said that is severely wrong and being shy, (which made him shipped with Fresh), is his canonical personality. What are your thoughts about this? I mean, it is your character and people are taking control of it. Don't you disagree?

Well… I have talked to people and seen public conversations and this has happened several times to me over months. I guess I’ve gotten a little numb to it now… or maybe it’s due to school that I haven’t given it the attention that it deserves. Probably due to school. 

I just can’t update constantly like others - even though some others in school were and are able to update constantly. I can’t keep going around and holding up my bio of PJ and police people. It’s exhausting to me… it really takes up the small bit of free time I have. 

I think after I get a solid job that I’ll be able to go around better… but anyway - back to your question. 


While I love seeing interpretations and do not want people to be limited by something and have their imaginations go forth… it’s proving that a huge con comes with that mentality - which you have pointed out. A lot of people swear that PJ is the cute, innocent interpretation that really, did get PJ popular in the first place. While I did have him as a jerk from the beginning - I kinda kept that info to my RP blog - so you could say it is my fault this is all happening and I do think that. I could of done something to make it not as bad as it is now… 

It’s just like the NSFW stuff… people just assume the first thing and run with it. And it really does make me feel like I really am not needed for my own character at points. 

It’s a struggle - I don’t want to have people stop interpreting PJ within AUs… but I also don’t want people to just see him as an innocent child to ship with Fresh. 

And I’m still trying to find the best solution to it. 

But… I feel like the damage is already done. It’s too late for me to talk to all of these people going around swearing on their life that PJ is canoncally like Rouge’s interpretation/AUs. It feels like an hopeless battle to me. 

And I guess I needed someone to ask me this question so then I can fully say my thoughts on this. 

So in short, while I love creativity and don’t want to snuff it out (considering some people would probably think I’m doing that already with saying “No Sin”), I still don’t like it. It irritates me, irks me, frustrates me, and I feel like even as the person who thought of PJ in the first place, my voice isn’t enough. Communities seem like they don’t care about artists unless they reach a ‘certain goal of popularity’ or seem like they have a more professional style of art. I know I do not reach either of those titles. 

People misspell my username all the time - I actually claimed ‘7goodangle’ on tumblr for that reason.

People still say “I’m too lazy to find who made PJ” when they clearly mentioned they looked at the bio on the wiki. 

People still go around arguing others on the canon ship of OmniPJ and swearing that FreshPaper is the true canon ship, when all people are pointing out is that they need to keep the canon ship in mind when going around with information.

Even just basic personality traits… and these things are happening on sites that I do not nor want an account for. 

I still want others to have fun - to be happy; but I don’t know… I guess I’m cutting out my own happiness to get everyone else happy? I want to eventually write a version of PJ within his own universe and story… and he is more like the version I created within the UT verse. Not exact - but close. Though who knows… I might shove PJ to the side and replace his role with another character. I’m still weighing options.

Cause PJ was the first character I ever put this much time and thought into… my first character that was balanced, well rounded…

And what happens?

…well.

You said it Anon. 

They took it - changed it (initially as an AU but now people think it’s canon) - and I can’t do much about it. Due to school and not much free-time… due to how many don’t know the true creator… and just back talking anyone who is just mentioning it to people who swear by it. 

As an artist and a character designer…

It makes me not want to show designs, characters, and stories ever again online.

Considering if this is how I was treated on the first one… why even take a chance at a second one? If it has brought me so much stress, frustration, and time… why even try it again?

I said I was only going to do fanart so if anyone stole it, it didn’t really matter. 
I think I should have stuck with that thought process. 

In conclusion, there are some major things to take away here. First – that yes, I do not like how it has skewed this far to the point of arguing over a fandom version with the canon. Canon is canon and I get the different AUs – this is too far. Way too far. I am emotionally drained from this – from this whole mess that I have been defending throughout majority of PJ’s lifespan. I will state this – Paper Jam is my character. He is my original character that I created more than a year ago. And the UT AU fandom took my character and warped him to something he is not and all of his original meaning is lost. I do not like to hurt others or make other sad – but I must put my foot fully down. This miscommunication needs to stop. I am tired of repeating things over and over and I have past my breaking point time and time again. I just want people to see PJ how he really is… and I wish that people could be focusing more on the reality of him instead of the alternate that they all claim as truth.

Final words: I still like Undertale – I still like creating characters and having fun – but the Undertale AU fandom is ridiculous now. The Amino UT community is insanity in an app, and there is a lot of stuff that has made many artists and creators to their breaking point and leaving the fandom entirely. Everyone in this fandom needs to take ten steps back and look at what they are doing. Go back to the game. Play it again – watch your favorite let’s player’s videos of it again. 

And just… food for thought… please don’t jump the gun on someone else’s OC’s personality and actions. 

I do not want anyone to experience what I had.

there are two settings. the first is success, a crushing perfection that simmers below the surface, a gritted-teeth force that breaks down more often than it runs. it is relying on panic to wake you up, it is nightmares about numbers, it is being unable to stop shaking when the test comes back, it is empty scores, no flaws found but still feels sore. it is the appearance of self-assurance, top-of-the-class, always-in-yoga. nobody gets into the room when you’re sobbing over your gpa. they only smell the candles and not the burning.

the second is failure. it comes in the wake of the smallest thing. a shrug and “you could have done better” rather than a smile. that’s it. and then it’s time to destroy everything. she frowned at me once, we aren’t really her friend and we must never speak to her again. he didn’t want to get dinner, not only is he not interested but he finds us repulsive. it is realizing you are sixteen minutes late and just skipping class rather than showing up late. it’s refusing to study because you understand nothing. it’s taking something down before someone can rip it down for you. it’s isolating yourself so nothing can hurt you and it’s hurting because you’re isolated. it’s missed calls, never-at-work, always-too-drunk. 

that’s it. all or nothing.

He’s figured out that while jerking his paw away won’t stop me from doing his nails, slowly rolling onto his back and gently pulling his whole leg away will stop me immediately because I cannot handle the cute.

*it looks like he’s baring his teeth but he’s not. His top lip got stuck on his gums.

2

No Filter challenge by @butterfly-tattoo~

I was tagged by @ciruelabob, thank you ♥

Rules: Take a picture of the sim that’s normally associated with your blog (your legacy founder/lead character in your story etc.), now take away all their cc (except their hair, eyebrows, and skin color), then do a before and after picture.

So, these sims aren’t yet part of anything in my blog but hopefully they will be soon, unless something tragic happens. They’re Dina Caliente’s kids (although I gave them and Dina a makeover). Nadine is the one with black hair and Anne is the blonde one ^_^

I really don’t know who to tag cuz I feel like everyone has done this already :D But if you haven’t done this but really want to, feel free to say I tagged you ♥

the thing about being a young woman is that they will take everything from you. and i mean everything. and they will make it about them. your makeup, your clothes, how much you eat. your attitude, your hairstyle, your gym routine. they will take your driving and your train stations and your video games. your sexuality as sexy, your gender identity as a fetish, your cooking. your tv shows and your high heels and every harmless thing. 

if they cannot eat it, if it does not satisfy them, it will be an immediate shame. they cannot control how much you put food into your body, so it is seen as disgusting. your love of starbucks is your vapid need, your comfortable boots are symbols of your inherent stupidity. your fake nails, your body’s natural cycles, the hair on you. bath bombs, pink, the low singing of women talking about depression. your crazy, your hyper, your laughter, your loud, your excited, your passions. the things which are yours, that do not belong to them, that cannot be taken and devoured like flower petals, cannot be sucked dry until the wilt forms in you. 

do not satisfy them. let them starve. let them shy from the sin of you, the unfettered sinfulness of loving taking up space.

Get To Know Me Tag

I was tagged by: @coffee-and-kpop
(Thank you so much by the way 😊)

Rules: answer the questions and then tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better:)
Nickname(s): I have quite a few. Lyssa/Lyss, Goochie/Gooch, Pumpkin, Toad, Cindy, Milly, Melyss, Mel(s). 
Gender: Female
Star Sign: Gemini ♊️
Height: 5′8
Time right now: 4:18am (as I’m typing this). 5:47am (when I’m finally ready to post it). 
Last thing I googled: how to reply to comment on tumblr (so they’re notified about it - I gave up before I found out though. Oh well). 
Favorite band: BTS, Coleman Hell, The Script, ACDC, Supertramp, Imagine Dragons, Hedley, (+others). 
Favorite solo artists: Adele, Ed Sheeran, Frank Sinatra, Jay Park, (+more that I can’t think of)
Song stuck in my head: Currently Mangú by Becky G (which I’m pretty sure I’m not even getting right because I don’t know Spanish but the beat definitely is catchy). Last movie I watched: Fast & Furious 6 / Furious 6 (currently on right now too, I’ve been sleeping with it on for pretty much the past week). 
Last tv show I watched: Well technically it was Criminal Minds however we own that on DVD, so the last TV show I watched was 2 Broke Girls. 
When I created my blog: I can’t remember. Last year sometime???
What kind of stuff do you post: KPOP (mainly BTS), Zodiac, Aesthetic Photos, MoodBoards, +Other Fandom Stuff & Shows I like. 
When did your blog reach its peak: Not there yet. 
Do you have any other blogs: Yeah one, but I don’t really use it. 
Do you get asks often: No, I’d like to though. 
Why you chose your url: I liked the sound/look of it. 
Following: A lot (2,144). 
Posts: 6,213
Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff. 
Pokemon team: N/A. 
Favorite colors: Forest/Dark Green, Dark Shades of Blue, Periwinkle Blue, Pastel Colours, Shades of Grey (not a reference to the movies/books), and Shades of Brown. 
Average hours of sleep: Anywhere from 3-12. 
Lucky numbers: I don’t know if I have one, my favourite number however is 14. 
Favorite characters: All of the F.R.I.E.N.D.S characters (Oh especially Phoebe and Joey though. Ross does kind of piss me off sometimes), all of the Supernatural characters (Although Sam can get on my nerves, I’m still mad about him hating on Benny. I mean yes I get it your pissed at your brother for killing your friend from years ago, I was pissed at Dean for that, but c'mon hating on Benny won’t help), Reid from Criminal Minds, Pretty much any character Vin Diesel plays (him in The Pacifier was awesome). 
What are you wearing right now: Pyjama shorts and a tank top (I’m supposed to be sleeping)
How many blankets do you sleep with: 1 if its a comforter, 2 or 3 if they’re smaller blankets, 0-1 if it’s warm/hot. 
Dream job: I’ve had many, currently though possibly something to do with working at a zoo, aquarium, or wildlife sanctuary. 
Dream trip: I’d love to go to Scotland or Germany (+plus a bunch of other places), however as of right now I’d just like to get off the island I live on for a day or two, or even just out of this city.

I tag: @jeojahyungnim @philophobia999 @jimins-left-nipple @c-loudv @miniirae @hoshistarlight @mellie-etc @notchunochu @sweetdemonsoul @mey-ryuu @koreanpopsexual @kizzxxx08 @strawhat-loser @kingnamjoons @sugakookie @katachana @psygamare @gukiee @pumpkin-meat @auroradiamondis

8

Doctor Who Rewatch: Aliens of London

*makes stupid flimsy excuse to not have to go to that meeting today, which was already rescheduled from last week*

The boy that I’m falling for is a literal golden retriever what the hell @ me

Dating

I like to believe that whenever Kuroo is taking Kenma out for dates, he doesn’t speak.. Instead he is content enough just staring at him. Which ofc makes Kenma uncomfortable af.

ok i need to sleep, but give this a like for a cinnabun in ur inbox like nonchalantly putting on a gunshow, or random cute things cause i might have to work tomorrow which is just… ugh -shrugs into the void- anyhoo take care babes, i love yous!!

idk i just want a scene in civil war or s/t where bucky’s taking out a hydra base and natasha storms in and they like each had just taken down a few hydra agents and they turn and aim their guns at each other and they’re just standing there guns up eyes locked breathing for a moment

and natasha’s like “you remember me?” and he drops the gun and crosses the room and kisses her

but then he reaches into her tac belt and pulls out one of her widow’s stings and electrocutes a hydra agent that was trying to sneak up on them

and then there’s this epic fucking fight scene like partner’s choreography that looks more like a dance than a fight as they take this final wave of hydra agents out together and it’s just beautiful and they move as one and ugh