ugh i don't like how this turned out

anonymous asked:

I sent an ask earlier about getting assessed for ADHD and how to have a professional actually believed you (instead of being like ugh self diagnosers smh) but TURNS OUT in the psych report from a year ago that I never got to read it says I should be tested for ADHD and SPD, both things I self diagnosed with. Of course, nobody told me about this and I haven't been assessed for anything. FML

WTF? Sheesh. Are you going to get assessed now? I hope people take you seriously!

-J

3

rakugaki

I PAINT MY NAILS WHILE I EAT
  • Cashier: This sucks!
  • Other Cashier: *yawns* What sucks?
  • Cashier: This job. I'm so bored. Why can't we just leave?
  • Other Cashier: We've only got two more hours left.
  • Cashier: Yeah, but no one is going to come in. No one shops here. Let's stop pretending that this place is profitable and go home and do important things like sleeping or masturbating.
  • Other Cashier: I mean, you can masturbate in the back room and no one will notice.
  • Cashier: I know, but it's comfier at home.
  • Other Cashier: I get what you're saying, though.
  • Cashier: About masturbating?
  • Other Cashier: No, about going home. I'd do it, but I'm too big of a fan of making money.
  • Cashier: I don't care about money. It's not like my money goes to anything important. I'm pretty against money. I'm a libertarian.
  • Other Cashier: Libertarians love money, dude.
  • Cashier: Oh. What were the names of the one's who hate money?
  • Other Cashier: Commies?
  • Cashier: Yeah, I'm a commie! Fuck money! Everything should be free! ...What does commie even mean?
  • Other Cashier: *shrugs* I don't know. Probably short for something.
  • Cashier: Is it like a race of people or something?
  • Other Cashier: I think so. I hope it's not some sort of ethnic slur.
  • Cashier: I think I'm going to stop calling myself a c*mmie just in case.
  • Other Cashier: Yeah, that's a good idea.
  • *doors slides open*
  • Cashier: Did you see that?
  • Other Cashier: The doors?
  • Cashier: No, the 30% off beauty supplies sign. Of course the doors, dude! They just opened by themselves.
  • *doors slide closed*
  • Cashier: Omigod! That's so creepy. *tugs other cashier's shirt* Isn't that so creepy?
  • Other Cashier: Iunno. Not a big deal to me. Maybe they like malfunctioned or something. It happens.
  • Cashier: Yeah, but you don't think it's suspicious that they malfunctioned when we're in here alone?
  • Other Cashier: Not really, dude. I mean, if they were gonna malfunction, they were gonna do so whether or not anyone was here.
  • Cashier: I guess that makes sense... Hey, that reminds me of this creepy thought I had.
  • Other Cashier: Yeah?
  • Cashier: You remember Mary Kate & Ashley.
  • Other Cashier: The twins?
  • Cashier: No, the other Mary Kate & Ashley.
  • Other Cashier: There was another set of Mary Kate & Ashleys!?
  • Cashier: No, dummy. I was talking about the twins.
  • Other Cashier: Then why did you say there were another set of them?
  • Cashier: I was messing with you.
  • Other Cashier: That's a dumb way of messing with someone.
  • Cashier: Well, you can be really dumb sometimes?
  • Other Cashier: I'm dumb? Aren't you the one who's a commie.
  • Cashier: Don't say c*mmie when it's probably a slur!
  • Other Cashier: *covers mouth* Forgot, sorry dude. Anyway, what were you going to say about Mary Kate & Ashley.
  • Cashier: I don't know, probably something made up and dumb. They're both dead anyway, so who cares.
  • Other Cashier: They died?
  • Cashier: Probably. I mean have you heard anything about them in the last few years?
  • Other Cashier: Nope. I guess they are dead then.
  • *glass shattering*
  • Cashier: Eep! What the hell was that!?
  • Other Cashier: Sounds like it came from the beauty supplies section.
  • Cashier: That's the most isolated part of the store. What if it's like... I don't know a fucking spirit or something?
  • Other Cashier: Spirits aren't real.
  • Cashier: So you think we just go nowhere when we die?
  • Other Cashier: No, like, dead spirits are real. But, like, ghost spirits aren't? Dead spirits probably want to go to heaven instead of sticking around the flesh zone.
  • Cashier: But what if they're going to hell soon? I'd rather haunt a shitty store than go to hell!
  • Other Cashier: We're not supposed to talk about religion at work, dude. Listen, I'm going to check out what broke. You just sit here and twiddle your thumbs or whatever. *walks off*
  • Cashier: Alright, be safe. *twiddle, twiddle, twiddle*
  • Cashier: *looks up at clock* Holy shit! There's only five minutes before my shift ends. Twiddling your thumb wastes so much time. But, my co-worker hasn't come back yet. God, this is bad. No. Stop being paranoid. It's probably nothing. They probably cleaned up whatever broke and went home early. But, that means I have to close this place myself. Shit. I hate closing by myself. It's so creepy.
  • *glass shatters*
  • *a groan comes from within the store*
  • Cashier: *sweats and glances up at the clock* Wow, still five minutes left until my shift ends. Time really does slow down when you're paying attention.
  • *another louder groan*
  • Cashier: Haha, look at the time. Still five minutes left. Every second feels like an hour when you're as hard a worker as I am. *sweats harder* I guess there's nothing wrong with calling it in early, right? That's what being a c*mmie all about. Leaving work whenever you want. Worker's rights and such. It's not in my job description to deal with whatever the fuck is probably in the back of the store. I mean. I'm just a cashier. *shuts off lights and locks up the store* My co-worker probably went out the back anyway. Yeah, that's it. Everything's cool. I'm not doing anything wrong.
  • Cashier: *walks off into the night* I can't wait to go home and have a completely normal night not at all bothered by whatever unseen events just transpired.
  • *the doors to the store are slowly forced open*
  • *hundreds of tiny maggots squirm out in the direction of the cashier*
SummerSlam Meeting || Andrea&Seth

@xyouwillbelievex

Andrea, along with her younger; Liam and her friends, had spent the morning in the hotel – after being up somewhat late after watching the NXT show live the night before. Even though, Andrea had originally planned on just going to see SummerSlam (and maybe RAW and Smackdown). But her friends convinced her to see the NXT show too. So now they were at the arena, after figuring it would be crowded the later they waited to go, besides they also wanted to see if they could greet any of the wrestlers as they arrived.

That was when Andrea spotted Seth Rollins, and remembered the conversation with the stranger who sounded very similar. Pulling out her phone, and skimming through the messages she had sent the guy, she bit her lip – she had told the guy she’d delete his number after apologizing. But her gut had kinda wanted to keep it.

Her attention still on her phone, since her dad had texted her. Andrea didn’t realize that her friends and brother had moved – after they spotted Roman – so she didn’t notice anyone approaching her.

8

“Going on a date,” my ass; let’s not pretend for even one second that Sheriff Stilinski wasn’t already practically married to Melissa McCall. // In which Scott is totally the Sheriff’s favourite son

Took Minion #1 to her “birthday dinner.” We went to a dinner mystery murder thing. It was so fun. Of course, we got her made a suspect. It was awesome. 

And turns out one of the detectives was her long lost father, according to the DNA sequencing vending machine near the hotel pool. Hehe!

It was cute. The food was good. There was fun to be had by all. It was really good.

A kings throne can be used for other things than just sitting on. Imagine sitting on Thorin's throne naked.
Sorry it turned into smut. I couldn’t help myself. Do you mind? ;)



Finally the meeting was over. The whole damn day and long into the night they have been talking about everything what he, as the king, need to know or has to decide over. 

His councilors already left to their chambers to get the desired rest. Not so Thorin. He makes his way the the throne room, for thinking and maybe even relaxing a bit before sleep. Expecting you to already laying in your bed, taking your night rest.

Damn. I promised her to be there tonight. 

He thinks to himself, knowing you would understand but upset after all that he could not spend time with you again. 

A few hours before

You just finished your beauty routine. Still dwelling in the huge bath you let your mind walk.

He is not coming today either you thought to yourself. You sighed. Understanding he must fulfill his duties but damn it you wanted to be with him. Talking, relaxing, cuddling. You imagined his deep husky voice which brings you chills up your spine, his long silky hair and his muscular body. 

Oh no 

Bad enough your loving heart yearns for your king to be by your side, your body does miss him as well. Nights over nights you were wet for him. Laying in the large bed waiting for him to arrive and become one again, but it never happened. There was just too much work for him to do right now. 

These nights you simply pleasured yourself, although it never satisfied you enough. You need to feel your most beloved right next to you. Into you. 

He was in no better mood. Also yearning to be one with you again, but can’t the last days. Your desire became unbearable. To that point that you nearly walked around every day dripping with lust.

I never imagined that one could slide away like this when you make love to someone you truly love.

And then you make a decision.

‘All right your majesty, I take the lead now. If you don’t come to me, I need to come to you.’ you said smirking, preparing yourself for your plan.

'My queen? Are you alright? To whom are you talking to?’ your handmaiden asked worriedly from outside the bath.

'Eh! No one. Thank you Gori. You can leave work for the day. I see you tomorrow then.’

'So early? T-thank you my queen! May I assist you with something or bring you something before I take my leave?’

'No no, thank very much. I appreciate that. Have a nice evening!’

'Your too kind, my queen.’ the young dwarven handmaiden said happily and left.

Present time

Still in his thoughts about you, Thorin didn’t even notice he is half way away from the throne as he hears a familiar voice.

'Evening my king.’ you say softly.

He says nothing. Eyes widened. 

Beguilingly beautiful you sit on the kings throne, veiled in a large cloak of silk fabric. Completely bare underneath. He did not now that yet though.

’(Y/N)? I thought you were sleeping.’

He steps closer and stops where the steps to the throne begin.

'No. I couldn’t sleep. Like so many nights before. I miss you.’

His face becomes a frustrated expression.

'I’m sorry my love. I do miss you as well. But you know I-’

'Yes.’ your soft voice interrupting him.

'I understand. Don’t worry. You are the king. With that responsibility comes a lot of duties. But don’t forget that I love you. That is why I am here.’

’(Y/N)…’ Thorin whispers between his teeth. He looks like he is in pain.

Is he thinking I’m going to leave him now or so? 
You smile. 
'My love. My king. My Thorin. I came here to make you forget all your duties and worries for a time.’

You stand up from the kings chair and let the cloak run down your shoulders. Now resting on your wrists, still holding it upwards. Exposing your naked body. His mouth goes dry and his eyes grow dark. His lower half filling itself with heat and his member twitching in the sight of his wife. Immediately blood rushing to where it was needed.

'When was the last time you took me?’

'My love.’ He blushed 'Here?’

'Yes here. A kings throne can be used for other things than just sitting in my opinion. I’m tired of doing it myself. I am yearning for you, don’t you see.’ you touched your lower body half 'I need you right here. Inside me.’ You let the cloak fall to the ground as Thorin passes the few steps up to the throne and kisses you passionately. Forcing his tongue into your mouth, heavy breathing. By witnessing your wet and glistening womanhood with his sweet juices he always likes to taste his pants become more and more tighter.

'What if someones coming?’ he asks between the kissing. Leaving your mouth and trailing down your neck.

'I don’t care.’ you moan.

'Your right. Besides everyone is asleep. You should keep quiet.’

'Mh?’

'Your screaming and moaning, my love. Loud. I love that but these halls are echoing.’ he smirks and you blush deeply.

’D-don’t say such embarrassing things. Ah!’

He chuckles as he licks and nips your hard nipples, massaging your breasts. Your knees shaking.

'If someones coming I have to carve his eyes out. No one is allowed to see my woman bare. To see you in ecstasy like this. Except me.’

You smile happily to yourself and take his face in your hands, up to your mouth.

'Always and forever your woman Thorin. Claim me.’

Your womanhood throbbing he lifts you up and throws you on the throne. Facing him, legs half spread you watch how he undresses his lower half. His trousers fall to his ankles, his bare macular chest with his soft chest hair exposing through the now opened tunic. You let your hand trail from his chest down to his member. Standing dangerously erected, thick and twitching. Already a few drops of precome peaking out of his tip. He groans and suddenly takes your hand roughly. 

'Turn around.’ you hear Thorins husky voice filled with desire. 'I’ll have you this way first.’

He turns you around, your hands resting on the thrones armrests. His large strong hands coming to your hips shoving himself into you with one thrust.

You gasp in surprise and of the slight amount of pain. But you were wet enough to take him.

'I’m sorry love! Ugh your so tight. I’m finally inside you. Ah you feel so good around me.’ ,he pants ,'I try to do it slow.’

Your cheeks grow hot and reddened over his words. He starts to thrust into you slowly.

'Ah! D-don’t say such embarrassing things.’

'Why not? I know you like it.’ He smirks. You turn your head to face him with red cheeks. 'Your pussy is so wet and tight. How did I survived these last days.’

He ankles his hips and jerks upwards hitting your sweet spot. You let out a loud voluptuous moan.

'Quiet love.’ trying hardly to keep his own groans unheard.

Your moans only fire him up, thrusting now hard and rough into you. He knows you like it rough, though he tries to take it slowly this time, because he did not have you in such a long time. Apparently failing to do so. The black haired dwarf knows he would no longer be able to control himself. 

’T-thorin I’m going to- AAAAHH !!’ you couldn’t finish your sentence. Tightening around his cock you came screaming, immediately covering your mouth to muffle your love moans. Still thrusting into you, hitting your spot everytime so you could ride out your whole orgasm, your husband comes as well. A deep groan escaping his throat, shooting his seed inside you. He bits down at the right side of your lower back.

Still breathing heavy you sit on his lap. He placed the two of you gently on the throne and covered you half with the cloak. Leaning against his chest, his strong arms around you.

'I’m sorry I came inside you.’

'Nah… It’s okay.’ you closed your eyes feeling his seed squeezing out of you on his thigh. Looking up at him you talk innocently 'You know I was going to give you a special treatment. My full service you know. Satisfying you. I did not assume you would like to have me immediately.’

He looks down on you and chuckled.

'I was missing you the last days as well as you me. What makes you think I am not satisfied? I enjoyed your body, voice and your love within deeply.’ He kisses your lips softly. 'But… I think..’, the dwarf touches your hard nipples, 'I’d like to have you again.’

You can feel his cock stiffening against your legs.

'It would be my pleasure.’ you said grinning mischievously, lifting yourself up and placing your legs on both sides of his body. Holding yourself up right above his thick cock. Which is slick with your juices from your previously love making.

'Mahal it will.’

You lower yourself onto him, your body sucking him in in one moisty move. His hands and your hips lifting you up and down. You gasp. Feeling him twitching inside you. Rubbing along your inner walls.

'Ah (Y/N) I love you. I love you so much.’

'Thorin… forever. I love you forever.’

He slams you down on him, nearly screaming.

You hands cling onto his tunic. Caressing his chest. Your tongues find their ways to one another a begin battling. You deepening the kiss as long as you can, but the ecstasies forcing you both to break free to breath heavily. Moaning and panting he speeds up. Your liquids leaking out your lower body onto his lap, mixed with his seed. The sound of your bodies meeting. Wet sounds as your cunt squeezes its walls, indulging his thick member totally, nearly pumping the mixed fluidness on his lap. Your orgasm is building up again. You close your eyes and lower your head. ‘Look at me.’ obeying him you meet his eyes. ‘(Y/N) I am close.’ Thorin pants.

You smile. He moves his left hand thump to your swollen clit without leaving your hip. You gasp, moaning loudly as you feel your orgasm will come in a few seconds. 

'Let’s come together. May I release inside you?' 
You chuckle between your groans.
‘Mh ah.. your asking now? You already have.’

His grip on your hips tightens, nearly painfully. Feeling him twitching you give him permission ‘Yes ah release your seed inside me, oh please.’

He heaves a loud groan not caring anymore if anyone would hear them. You came with him, tightening.

In silence you cling to one another, catching your breaths.


'I must admit… I thought you were going to leave me.’ the king under the mountain looks straight into your eyes, your bodies still connected.

'How could you think of such nonsense. I belong to you.’

‘My queen. My love. (Y/N). I am yours and you are mine.’

'Pass death, forever I am.’

Sorry I just love this Game of Thrones quote. It’s so beautiful!

And Gori is a female dwarf name and a character I put into this story. She does not exist in the books.

I’m sorry for all grammatical mistakes.