ugh i did this in like five minutes so super sorry it's not the best

eat yr fucking brussels sprouts

im so sorry to everyone whos ever been made to eat greyish soggy and completely tasteless brussels sprouts bc they are capable of so much more okay holy shit so im abt to set yall straight

first, do not boil them. literally dont boil vegetables unless its potatoes bc it tends to sap everything of flavor okay. you can cook veggies in the oven or steam them in a pot, or like a million other things. sauteed is my favourite though bc you can cook them in like less than five minutes.

first, cut off like a centimeter of whats left of the stem, bc thats old and will taste weird. then wash them they can be pretty dirty, though the dirt is only on the outside (unlike leeks ugh). 

after you’ve washed them and have them on your cutting board, get a pan (small is good if you’re just making a snack!), put it on the stove and turn it to medium heat if u have an electric stove, or like 6-7 if u have propane. pour approximately ½ tablespoon of olive oil (you might want to add more but thats fine to start with).

back to the brussels sprouts: cut them in half width-wise (theres pictures below for reference) then take each half and cut that into four pieces. if they’re super big, you might want to cut each piece in half again, if theyre super small then just cut the whole thing into quarters. it’s okay if the size varies a little!

the oil should be hot by that point (if you pick up the pan and tilt it, the oil should run kind of quickly, instead of super slow like cold oil does). dump the cut brussels sprouts into the pan (gently and with love !!).

put some black pepper over it–this is to taste, so if you dont really like black pepper then only do a little, or skip it entirely. i put probably ¼ teaspoon because i love black pepper. start small, though.

stir it a little, then put some salt on–also to taste. it’s gonna need more than you’d think, i promise, but also you dont want to overdo it, so sprinkle a little salt over it to start with, and once they’re cooked, you can taste them and add more if it needs it. remember, when it comes to salt, its best to put a little, and then taste, and then a little more, and then taste, and then more, etc. 

stir them again and then cut a lemon or a lime (lemon is best but use what you have) in half, and squeeze some into the pan–it will start steaming and making popping noises, which is good. this is to taste as well. i love sour things, so for me maybe half the juice of half a lemon for every 5 normal sized brussels sprouts. thats a lot, though, so if you dont like things too sour, just squeeze the half a little. you can always add more later if it’s not enough!

if they start to stick to the pan that means theres not enough oil, so pour a little more olive oil in and stir.

stir them often! they cook pretty fast when theyre cut small, like 2 minutes maybe depending on how hot the pan is. when they lose their sharp cut edges and the white gets a little yellow and green is darker, they’re probably done! pull one out to taste it and make sure its cooked, and add more flavor if you want.

when they are cooked, they should still be crunchy, but there shouldnt be any harder part in the middle. crunchy all the way through. you’ll be able to tell when you try one.

here’s the pictures so you can see what i did (sorry they are bad pictures my hands shake hella):

brussels sprouts are great because they’re usually incredibly cheap, they keep a long time (i store them in a brown paper bag in the fridge, and they dont go bad for 2 weeks or so, if they last that long), you can cook as many or as few at a time as you want (instead of having to use one whole big vegetable, u no?), and they are good for side dishes if you are someone who does like full meals or whatever.

you can cook them a million different ways, this one is just my favourite! they’re also really good with potatoes or sausage (presumably, i only eat soy meat really but theyre really good with Tofurkey sausage so idk), with or without lemon juice, etc.

anyway please eat them they are vegetables which are high in vitamins or something presumably and they taste really good i promise!

As the Radio Plays

Pairing: Lin Manuel Miranda x Reader


Summary: Today is the biggest day of your life. You walk towards your forever and always, the love of your life waiting for you to take his hand.

Warnings: Just cursing, really.

Word Count: 3,879(For fuck’s sake, Cass. Get a grip.)

A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I’M SORRY. No one asked for this shit, idk. I also love you all so, so much. Especially Becca (but y'all already knew that, right?) because she is my favorite and she helps me and lets me ramble at her anD IF YOU’RE NOT FOLLOWING HER, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?? SHE IS A LEGEND. HER WRITING HAS MURDERED ME. I AM POSTING THIS FROM THE GRAVE.

Something old.

Kenny Lattimore’s “For You” played softly in the background as your fingertips traced over the silver chain of the locket that was clasped around your neck, the pendant hanging midway down your chest.

It was an old family heirloom, something you’d inherited from your grandmother when you sat with her moments prior to her last breath. Despite the severity of her dementia, she had never once forgotten your existence, always asking for you in the middle of the night, talking about you to anyone that’d listen, buying you random things (she once bought you a winter coat in the middle of July because you’d mentioned that you were chilly while eating ice cream in a fully air conditioned room a couple days before) to keep you happy. It was only right to wear this keepsake, especially on this day. Inside the locket was a picture of her and your grandfather, both of whom had left this realm not too long ago.

Keep reading

Five Minutes Older -- Chapter Twelve: I Trust You

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five-Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine -Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve

Ao3 Link

A Time Stuck AU fic where Mabel gets trapped in the past with a younger version of Stan. This is the final chapter! My goal was to finish before the new episode, and I just barely managed it, whoo whoo!

Also, originally there was a scene that I had to cut, where Fiddleford referred to his son as his “little Tater-tot” and even if it couldn’t be in the final draft I wanted you all to know that.

Stanford, Oregon, 1979

Ford’s head was pounding. Red pain erupted at regular intervals from a spot just above his right temple. He groaned,opening his eyes slowly. Letting in the light a little bit at a time.

“Here…” a familiar, gravely voice said. “Take some aspirin.”

Ford turned his head to the side and fumbled around until he found a hand with two white pills in it. He took them, along with the glass of water that was held out a moment later. Then he closed his eyes, waiting for the pain to subside.

Keep reading

My My My

This is a combination of an anonymous’ prompt and the request of feistykleinemaus. Thanks darlings!! I hope this is what you wanted.


Months have passed since the fight, things are better.
Broken bones and hearts have healed, the cracks inlaid with a fragile sort of gold.
No one has stormed out, or rather, walked out quietly, and disagreements have been talked through without frustration festering.
It’s new, Beca’s unused to it.
It’s hard for her to open herself up to Luisa and vice versa, but it’s getting easier every time.
She’s not sure if it will last the way it is, she hopes so.

She wakes up to an odd morning.
Usually her sleepy eyes are greeted by a beauty in blonde, this morning she opens her eyes to see…nothing.
Luisa’s side of the bed is empty.
Beca grumbles as she walks down the stairs, something about German ladies and their early schedules.
She expects to see her girl in business suit slacks, reading the news on her iPad, coffee in one hand and a spoonful of lightly sweetened oatmeal in the other, like every weekday morning.
Instead, she walks into a completely unexpected scene.
Luisa is lounging on the couch, still donning pajamas, staring blankly at the droning TV, and slowly munching on Beca’s Peanut Butter Crunch.
“Hey Luisa,” Beca says hesitantly, Luisa barely acknowledges her. “Whatcha doing?”
“I believe I am watching the Tom and the Jerry.”
Beca’s question is left unanswered. She gingerly sits next to Luisa, the singer’s body is stiff and unresponsive next to hers.
“Are you ok?” Beca asks, starting to get worried. Luisa shakes her head once.
Beca brushes golden strands of hair back, her fingers light against the sun kissed brow. Luisa slowly relaxes at the gentle caress, her body melting into the side of the brunette’s slight frame.
“Wanna talk about it?” She asks, Luisa shakes her head again.
So they don’t talk.
They cuddle, their legs twining together as they lie on the couch. Tom and Jerry plays on, and they rest.

Hours pass, and Beca’s finally gotten bored. She’d dozed for the first couple of hours, her body still in college student “sleep anywhere, anytime” mode, but now her mind is tired of simply wandering.
She uses the drifting time to study her girlfriend. A baggy t-shirt and leggings hide toned muscles. Perfectly sculpted collarbones tempt Beca but she moves on. The graceful neck is tickled by feathery soft tresses, she can’t resist carding her fingers through them. Luisa doesn’t notice, or pretends not to, so Beca lets her fingers wander further.
Trailing fingers ghost over smooth cheeks, running lightly over the residue mascara smudged under closed ocean eyes, gliding over immaculate eyebrows.
“That tickles.” Luisa murmurs.
Beca hums, pressing a butterfly kiss against the corner of cereal dusted lips.
“Wanna do something fun?” Beca asks. She’s loathe to ruin the day’s tranquility, but her muscles are dying for a stretch and her mind is itching to do more than daydream.
“Not really.” Luisa replies, taking in and releasing a deep breath.
Beca feels the motion as Luisa unwittingly presses her body further into Beca’s. The brunette’s eyes travel south, watching as Luisa stretches slightly, her t-shirt lifting to show a slip of bronzed skin.
Beca bites her lip as her face flushes, her wandering hands resume their traveling, this time downwards.
Luisa’s stomach is warm and soft, it cringes away from the sensation of cold palms.
“What are you doing?” Luisa gasps in surprise, Beca grins sheepishly.
“Nothing.” She says innocently, though her eyes say anything but.
“Not today, Beca.”
Beca pouts in disappointment, half from being turned down and half from the loss of nickname.
Luisa never misses an opportunity to comment on the Bella’s diminutive height, the difference causes worry.
“Why not?” Beca asks, veering away from the question she really wants to ask.
“I’m not in the mood. I am not just a sex kitten you know.” Luisa’s tone is starting to bite, Beca backs off.
“I know, sorry.”
Luisa sighs, her eyes clouding with some emotion Beca still can’t figure out.
Her Kommissar can be so mysterious sometimes.
Most of the time that’s alluring.
Right now it’s sort of exasperating.
“I apologize, kleine maus.” Luisa sits up, climbing over Beca to get off the couch, Beca misses the heat. She sits up as well, watching Luisa walk away.
She comes back a moment later, dressed in jeans and a weathered red shirt, holding her keys and phone.
“Are you going somewhere?” Beca asks, confused. Luisa leans over to peck her on the lips.
“I am sorry, maus. I will talk about this tomorrow, but right now I need to be alone.”
Her keys jangle as she walks out the door. It closes with a swish and click.
Beca is filled with questions and frustration, she’s not exactly good with comfort and cryptic sadness is a mystery to her.
With heavy reluctance, she calls the person who knows Luisa best.
“Hey Pieter, I need your help.”

She barely has time to dress before Pieter knocks on her door.
“Hello maus.” Pieter says as he walks past her into her house, Beca struggles not to stick her tongue out at him.
“That nickname is reserved for Luisa’s use only.” She says, he holds his hands up in surrender.
They say nothing, standing awkwardly in Beca’s kitchen. She groans internally, this day has been super weird and somehow she’s tired, she’s really not in the mood to play hostess.
“You need some tea.” Pieter says, walking over to the stove, turning it on as he rummages through the cupboards for teabags.
“Sure, help yourself to tea. Thanks for asking.” Beca mutters sarcastically, sitting on a stool next to the counter. Pieter shakes his head, plopping an earl gray in Beca’s favorite mug.
“This is for you, I do not need it.” He reaches down in the pots and pans cupboard, finding the secret cookie stash and placing a few on a plate in front of the Bella.
“How did you-” he winks, she scowls.
“I’m finding a new hiding spot.” She mutters, Pieter smiles cockily.
“Very well, I will just find it again.”
“Can you just tell me why Luisa’s so moody?” Beca asks.
“Tea first.”
He hands the now steaming mug to her, she cradles it in her icy hands.
She takes a sip.
It’s good. Not coffee, her preferred drink, but good.
“Why aren’t you more worried about Luisa?” Beca asks, taking another sip. Pieter shrugs.
“She does this every year.”
“Today is the anniversary of her father’s death.”
“Oh.” The tea loses its comfort, Beca feels guilty.
“So what does she do when she goes out?” Pieter shrugs again as he steals a cookie off of Beca’s plate, ignoring the glare he receives afterward.
“Sometimes she gets really drunk, sometimes she works out till she collapses in exhaustion, sometimes she does nothing at all.”
It’s quiet as Beca absorbs the new information. Things start to make sense, but the feeling of helplessness stays.
“So…what do we do now?” She asks. Pieter swipes another cookie from Beca, she smacks his hand. He still succeeds in taking it.
“We wait. I will wait in the living room and watch American Idol while making the commentary of gold. If you bring the cookies, you may join me.”
Beca huffs at that, crossing her arms in indignation.
She resolves to stay in the kitchen.
“Maus, are you coming?” Pieter calls from the living room. Beca ignores him, internally seething at his using the nickname again. Five minutes pass.
“You should really watch this, the opera lady is hilariously bad.”
Beca doesn’t respond to his bait.
“Beca, please join me. This is boring by myself.”
“If you do not watch this me, I’ll start singing. Very loudly.”
Beca’s in the living room in less than 1.6 seconds.

Hours pass before Beca’s phone rings. She accepts the call with relief.
“Luisa! I was so worried-”
“Sorry, no. This is Sam.” A deep voice that is definitely not Luisa’s replies.
“Oh. Where is Luisa?” Beca asks, panic starting to rise in her throat.
“Is she a tall blonde woman?”
Beca nods before remembering she’s on the phone.
“Uh, yeah. Is she ok?”
“She’s fine, she just needs to be picked up.”
Beca gets directions from the bartender before hanging up. Pieter studies Beca’s expression with curiosity.
“It’s not that late, why did they call us now?”
“Because,” He discovers Beca’s expression is that of contained amusement. “Apparently it’s against the rules to dance on tabletops.”

They take Pieter’s car, Beca regrets it. She likes the look of windswept hair, but hers looks like its hosted a hurricane.
Unflattering, to say the least.
Luisa’s not dancing when they walk into the bar, she’s giggling in a chair, flirting with a dark haired man. Beca would be jealous if she didn’t know Luisa was plastered out of her mind.
Although, the guy is pretty good looking.
And Luisa’s laughing pretty hard.
Ok, she’s maybe just the teensiest bit jealous.
“Hey Luisa.” Beca says calmly, trying not to startle the German woman.
Luisa turns at the sound, her smile is positively luminous as she beams at her and Pieter.
“Miny taus! Er, tiny maus! Pieter! Hallo, this is my new best friend, Sam!”
Beca can’t help the sigh of relief when she realizes the attractive guy is the bartender. He gives a friendly wave, handing Luisa’s phone and keys to Pieter.
“Ok Luisa, time to go home.” Pieter says.
She pouts.
Luisa, the tough and scary Kommissar, pouts.
“But I do not want to leave all of my new friends.” She sweeps her arm dramatically, showing the vast amount of new friends she’s made.
There are only four other people in the building.
“You’ll see them later, right now it’s time to go home.” Beca says. Luisa just crosses her arms childishly.
Beca gives Pieter an imploring look.
“I’ve got this.” He says, patting her shoulder in reassurance.
With one smooth motion, Luisa is picked up and gently flung over his shoulder.
She flops a little but giggles too much to really put up a fight.
He hands Beca Luisa’s car keys as he walks past her.
“I saw her car in the parking lot, she’s two from the left of mine. See you at home.”

Luisa’s already tucked into bed when Beca gets back.
“Thank you, Pieter.” Beca says. He nods.
“There’s an aspirin and a glass of water on Luisa’s little table. Make sure she doesn’t knock it over, I have the feeling she will need it tomorrow.”
“Got it. Thanks.” Pieter pats Beca’s head lightly before leaving. She huffs as she fixes her hair.
Luisa is still awake when Beca climbs into bed, though her energy has dropped significantly.
“How are you, crazy pants?” She asks, Luisa looks baffled.
“Why would pants be crazy?” Beca pauses at that.
“I…don’t know.”
“Are they crazy as in they are out of fashion, or are they crazy as in insane?”
“I’m guessing the first one.”
Luisa pouts, the action nearly killing Beca with cuteness.
“My pants are not out of fashion, I bought them last year.”
She pulls the sheets up to admire her jeans, then she giggles.
“Oh, I forgot. I am not wearing pants.”
“What?” Beca nearly screeches.
“It was hot under the sheets.” Luisa says with a shrug, her giddiness disappearing as fast as it had appeared. Beca sighs in relief, grateful that Pieter had not seen her girlfriend half naked.
Beca gulps as the thought strikes her, she wills it away.
She falls backwards, the air pushing out of her lungs as she hits the mattress. She sighs in comfortable exhaustion.
“Beca,” Luisa says, her voice dropping as she starts to sober.
“Sorry about tonight.”
“S'ok. Just talk to me about this stuff. Sharing has to go both ways.”
“I know.”
The pull of sleep strengthens, Beca feels herself slowly slip closer to unconsciousness.
“You know,” she says absentmindedly. “Pieter isn’t so bad. He’s a really good friend.” Luisa hums in agreement.
“And a really good kisser.”