This tumblr post is hilarious and accurate, and it made me think about what my ideal McGenji fic would contain. Twenty minutes later I had this idea, so here is the McGenji fic I’d write if my fiction writing spoons ever return from the war.
They go on a Blackwatch mission together and kick ass, but then their clothes (Genji’s included because I said so) are ruined for probably the same contrived reasons that women in anime have strategic clothing rips from a weapon passing by them briefly. And this wouldn’t be a problem except they’re technically undercover, and while civilians don’t blink at weird outfits or cybernetics, blood and ripped clothes means violence that they want to stay well away from. So they have to get new clothes. McCree is ready to head to the nearest secondhand store, because lbr people who end up in street gangs in their mid-teens are generally not financially stable people, but former rich playboy Genji is like “oh honey no, let me show you a better way.”
And Genji manages to ferret out a clothes store that serves the very wealthy of the city, because in thrift stores, they’re always looking for the “criminal element”, but the wealthy and famous have any number of sins they want to cover up, so they pay well and the staff of the boutique are always very discreet. And sure enough as soon as Genji starts talking to them, they identify that attitude that people born into privilege often have, and like magic, their old ruined bloody clothes have disappeared and they’re in designer (“only because we don’t have the time to be properly tailored, you understand, but surely you can fit in a few alterations, no, we don’t mind waiting, could one of the staff perhaps go and get us something to eat and a little something for yourself of course”) and they wait out the manhunt for them eating fancy food and drinking expensive coffee in this boutique, because of course the local police wouldn’t dare come interrupt the patrons of this shop, they’re very important people.
And McCree cannot pull off the attitude Genji can, but the staff assume they’re together, that ~poor disabled Genji~ (ugh) can’t date someone ~proper~ so he provides for this handsome young man. And McCree, being a black ops operative, is good at reading the room, and he goes with it because things will go more smoothly this way. And he’s shocked how good he looks in these clothes with just a little tailoring (rich people get literally everything tailored, it’s why celebrities always look like that, not even kidding y'all) and Genji, from the other stool where he’s examining his own outfit, gives him this look. Y'all know what I mean, that classic fanfic “you gon’ get laid” look.
So they keep up this charade until they leave, and Genji drops the facade and has a heart to heart with McCree about how sometimes people like that are so fake and he can’t stand that people won’t acknowledge how fucked up rich people are under it all, everything gets swept under the rug including attempted murder Hanzo. And then he gives McCree another Look and he’s like “at least it gave me a chance to see what your body looks like out of those layers you wear.” AND THEN THEY FUCK.
(look I know what I like and it’s violence, fake relationships, and putting clothes on characters that I desire but can never afford.)
in other news, gays and bitches, i began watching black sails!! i know what happens at the end lol which is actually why i began watching it but i’m on episode 8 of season one and i love max and i want to protect her at all costs. i love eleanor too, predictably. she’s the fiery, angry, fierce, unapologetic, stubborn bisexual girl of my dreams. i also love anne, my beautiful and tough lesbian angel.