ugh get out of my face

Ugh, so, first off… sorry for dropping off the face of the earth and not responding to any asks. Without going into too much detail, it’s been a rough last three months and I’ve been wrestling with physical and mental health Challenges. I’m going to have to reopen commissions out of necessity, but not until I stretch my art muscles a little. So, to get the inspiration flowing, I’m revisiting my favorite indulgence.

Sigh… I miss this guy and his stupid smug face. Haven’t drawn him in a bit. Tired doodles are messy but that’s alright. Have a good day everyone. ;)

Be My Hero

Summary: Being Deadpool’s daughter isn’t easy, especially when you have the Avengers and X-Men watching your every move.

Parings: Peter Parker x Reader, Wade Wilson!father x Reader!daughter

Other Characters: Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark, Gambit, Mentions of other Avengers and X-Men

Warnings: Mentions of Suicide, Blood, Violence, Angst, Teasing, Rejection


Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters

Real Name: (Y/N) Nessa Wilson

Current Alias: Mortál

Age: 17

Citizenship: Canadian

Relatives: Wade Wilson (Father)
Vanessa Carlysle (Mother)

Affiliations: X-Men, Avengers, S.H.E.I.L.D, Remy LeBeau, Rouge, Sebastain LeBeau, Logan Howlett, Laura Kinney, Peter Parker

Education: High Park Middle School, Richardson Square Secondary School

Identify: Known to Authorities

Abilities and Powers: Regenerative Healing Factor, Superhuman Reflexes and Agility, Hand-to-hand Combat Skills, Expert Knife Thrower


“When’s this shit gonna stop, (Y/N)?”

Wade gripped the handle of his apartment door, pulling the front door shut with a loud thud.

“The shit’s gonna stop when you stop pushing, Dad. That’s how it works.”

(Y/N) chewed on the piece of gum stuck in her mouth dramatically, making the chewing sound with her teeth as loud as possible.

Plopping down on the blood-stained couch in her living room, she grabbed her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and began looking over the notifications that started flooding her screen.

“Wow, holy fuck! Look! I’m a teenage girl!” Wade mocked, whipping his head back, pretending to flip his imaginary hair.

“Ugh - I know you’re a little girl trapped inside a man’s body, Dad, I get it. That’s why I just tell people you’re my mother.”

Wade hummed, gripping the back of his mask and letting the red and black material fall to the floor.

Singing How Far I’ll Go from Moana, Wade twirled around the living room like a princess, sticking out his arms and fingertips.

He hopped his way over to his daughter, imitating the look of boredom plastered on her face.

“Look at me …” He teased, gracefully kneeling in front of her with an innocent, puppy dog look. 

“I’m (Y/N)-” He swiftly grabbed her cell phone from her fingers, tossing it across the room without looking back. It smashed against the ground loudly, Wade not even blinking as the crashing sound filled the framed living space. 

DAD!”

I’m all about long, sullen silences-” Wade rolled his eyes, mimicking her usual attitude. “-followed by mean comments, followed by more awkward silences.”

(Y/N) grunted, letting her head drop back against the dirty couch as Wade placed his hands on her knees, keeping her from going anywhere. “Can I go? Are you gonna let me go?”

“Aw, what’s it gonna be my beautiful daughter?” He ignored her pleads for freedom.“Long sullen silence, or mean comment? C'mon, go on.”

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Look at me (boyf riends)

jfc it’s done look it’s the boyf riends being dorks can you believe it what a shock. 

Alternative title: How These Morons Manage To Put Off Kissing Each Other For Three Pages Because They’re Nervous Wrecks. HTMTPOKEOFTPBTNW for short. Just rolls off the tongue honestly.


From the very first few days of the Squip being disabled it was clear Jeremy was far from okay. He still flinched sometimes when his voice cracked, or when he got “dramatic” as he himself put it. Michael found a lot of things concerning about Jeremy’s behavior that hadn’t been there before. How he would sometimes slouch slightly and then suddenly straighten up as though he’d been burned. How he got uncomfortable doing anything that could be deemed uncool. Michael couldn’t lie, that in particular hurt quite a bit. Asking Jeremy if they could continue playing Apocalypse of the Damned from where they’d left off and seeing him setting his jaw and clenching his fists as if he was steeling himself for something; that had stung. Michael had forgiven Jeremy practically the second an apology was out of his mouth but that didn’t mean things were perfectly okay between them. The months of being completely alone were still fresh in his mind. Michael had to keep reminding himself that Jeremy was a victim in this too, that was clear to anyone watching even if he wouldn’t flat out say what the Squip had done.

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I Knew It! Peter Parker x Reader Soulmate AU

Word Count: 1,019 

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader Soulmate AU 

Featuring: Peter Parker and you :), mentions Ned Leeds

Summary: You’re convinced that your best friend is your soulmate. Your timer says otherwise. On the day your timer is supposed to go off, Spider-Man shows up at your window. 

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first one-shot ever, so if it sucks that’s why. I wrote this a bit ago and finally got the courage to post it. Hopefully, you’ll enjoy.

Originally posted by hardyness

Part 2


You always wondered if your timer worked. Everyone else’s seemed to. They always found their soulmate and was content, at least to your knowledge. 



But your experience was different. You felt like you already met your soulmate, but the timer didn’t go off when you met him. You were absolutely certain the sweet, dorky, science-loving, cute nerd that was your best friend was it. He understood you, helped you out, comforted you, and (most importantly, in your opinion) helped you out with homework. Of course, with this thinking, you obviously had a huge crush on him. I mean, come on, who doesn’t have a crush on Peter Parker?


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drunk peter headcanons

tags : @parkerroos @spideyyss @peterletmebeanavengerparker @grant-valdes-holland @ladysnowren @marvelsdaughter @underoosie @sunrisehunny @tomhollandisthicc @quacksoff @lil-spidey @captainswriting @jor-da-na

for the wild ass spiderjizz gals bc our gc was full of sad headcanons and we need to stop being SAD

author’s note : don’t yell at me and say peter is too young 15 year olds get drunk and do a lot of shit they shouldn’t be doing trust me k cool enJOY

  • ok so if u don’t think peter is a lil lightweight u would be wrong sir
  • he becomes about fifty times clumsier than he already is
    • “GET OFF THE TABLE YOU’RE GONNA GET HURT OH MY-”
    • “OWWWWWW”
    • “I TOLD YOU YOU’D GET HURT YOU DUMMY”
    • “y/n y/n y/n i hurt my fooooot kiss it better”
    • “peter benjamin parker get your foot out of my face and away from my mouth or so help me gOD”
  • you refuse to drink with him bc peter alone is like watching over an awfully curious child but peter drunk is like trying to keep track of a two year old with the attention span of squirrel
  • so you’re watching over this ridiculous idiot 
  • and he is the clingiest baby ever
    • “ummmm y/n baby baby baby you’re so far away from meeee” cue pouty face and outstretched grabby hands as he reaches for you even though you’re only a little bit away in front of the tv trying to put on a movie
    • “i’m two feet away peter”
    • “TWO FEET IS TOO FAR”
    • “oh my gosh you are so drunk my friend”
    • “did you just friend zone me” and then he tears up a little and you spend the next twenty minutes trying to convince him that he’s not just a friend
  • he is completely ridiculous but it’s fine he’s adorable
  • also he is always yelling
  • for no reason
  • he just yells everything when he’s drunk apparently?????
    • “Y/N Y/N Y/N DID YOU SEEEEE THIS”
    • “yes peter i know what a cookie looks like you donut”
    • “donut i love doNUTS”
    • “askfgsjfg peter no
    • “PETER YES”
    • “STOP YELLING
  • then he can’t stop laughing and he laughs for ten minutes and then he gets tired and stretches out across your lap like a sleepy angel/cat
  • he’s a very ramble-y drunk too and he doesn’t know what he’s saying half the time
    • “y/n i’ve got a suuuuuuper big thing i gotta tell you i gotta tell you it like right noooowwwwww okay”
    • “okay peter baby what is it”
    • “i love youuuuuuuuu did you know that i love you because i do me peter loves you y/n and i wanna maybe marry you and have babies with you like reallyyyyyyyy cute ones bUT don’t tell you”
    • “peter what”
    • “don’t tell yourself!!!!” and this nerd says it so matter-of-factly with a smartly placed smirk on his mouth as he stares up at you with big brown doe eyes that all you can do is sigh and shake your head 
    • “okay i won’t tell myself”
    • “oh gOOD BECAUSE I WANNA TELL YOU AGAIN FOR REAL WHEN I DON’T FEEL SO LOOOOOOOOOPY”
    • “peter the yelling”
  • he keeps trying to sing and usually he’s pretty good (that’s a whole different imagine) but he sounds like he’s scalping a cat as he tries to serenade you
  • he curls up against you because clingy an grabs your hands and holds them to his face and randomly claps them against his cheeks it’s weird he’s weird
    • “what are you doing”
    • “i’m singing the friends theme in my head shhhh you’re ruining my vibE babe”
    • “RUDE you’re a mean drunk”
  • but then he gets really kissy and just wants to love on you repeatedly
    • he starts by kissing your hands and your wrists really daintily 
    • then it BECOMES NOT SO DAINTY
    • and suddenly this former nerd is kissing up your collarbones and really slowly kissing your neck and then he bites you but he’s trying to give you a hickey but it’s not working he’s just biting incessantly 
    • “peter you can be sexy in the morning you’re just acting like damon salvatore at this point”
    • cue his sad face “why won’t you love me back”
    • “you’re drunk and it’s like taking advantage of you so we can do this another night okay?”
    • “uuuuuugggghhhhhh now i’m sad”
  • you roll your eyes and wrap your arms around him anyway and he smiles up at you all lovingly with little crinkles by his eyes and dimples by the corners of his mouth and he’s clearly not sad anymore he’s just needy 
    • “can you - can you pet my hair baby love”
    • “yeah pete of course”
  • and now he’s sleepy but he’s still curled up in your lap like some sort of kitten nd his eyes keep opening and closing but he has a really firm grip on your hand and refuses to let go ever
    • “y/n y/n y/n i love you”
    • “i know peter”
    • “shhhh no you don’t you don’t understand”
    • “peter-”
    • “no no like i really really love you and if i don’t marry you i’m gonna die like die die like deaD 
  • and then he rolls over and puts your hand against his cheek again and passes the fuck out with his mouth still slightly open and he’s lowkey drooling and it’s kinda gross but you can’t move bc there’s a huge boy laying on top of you and??????
  • he’s heavier than he looks?????
  • boy hides his riPPED AS BODY UNDERNEATH THOSE SWEATERS 
  • BUT YOU KNOW THE TRUTH 
  • and the truth is that he’s heavy as fuck and he’s crushing you but you can’t move him bc???/ the cuteness is too much and he was highkey wasted and he needs some sleep
  • he wakes up in the morning with a killer headache and he kinda wants to die because ow his foot hurts and his brain feels like it is pounding against his skull with tiny little Thor hammers
  • but he sees that you’re sleeping and he feels bad bc he’s been splayed out on top of you all night drooling on your knee???
    • “ugh that’s disgusting”
    • “peter i know my face in the morning is scary but-”
    • “NO NO MY LOVE YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL I MEANT THE DROOL”
    • “oh god why did i yell my head hurts so bad ughgsgk”
  • he takes 3 advil tablets and asks if he did anything stupid last night
  • you tell him no, that he was just pretty adorable to spare him the pain 
  • later on you’ll tell him that he said if he doesn’t get to marry you he’ll die
    • “well they do say that drunks are the most honest people”
    • “PETER YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THST”
    • “i’m peter and i wanna marry you or else i’ll die”
    • “you make me so upset”
    • “why”
    • “BECAUSE YOU’RE SO CUTE
    • “shhhhhhhhh”
  • drunk peter is a sweet peter but all peters are good !!!
  • lol
  • goodbyE i miss peter and i’ve never even had him to begin with

anonymous asked:

So, first off, hi there! Second... what kind of things do you think nerd!Derek would do to try and get jock!Stiles' attention? Or, what kind of cutesy things do you think jock!Stiles would attempt to make nerd!Derek notice him and laugh. (Spoiler alert, Derek already does notice him, but shhhh!)

So I combined these two prompts, I hope you guys don’t mind! Have some more nerd!Derek from me ^^

(Also, my eternal thanks to both @pale-silver-comb and @halesheart for telling me my writing isn’t horseshit and I should continue)

Title: You Hold My Attention (Without Even Trying)

“Oh my god, again?”

Scott frowns. “This is seriously getting out of hand.”

“Ugh, I know,” Stiles says as he bends down to pick up the flowers – tulips today – that dropped out of his locker when he opened it. “I mean, it was cute at first, but after the fifth time you get wet flowers smacked into your face, it kind of gets old.”

Speaking of wet flowers, they’re soaking through his shirt where he was cradling them under his arm. He holds them out in front of him, scrunching his face when they drip onto his sneakers. He’s not exaggerating when he says he’s kind of tired of them. Don’t get him wrong, he still appreciates the fact that someone takes the time out of their day to buy him flowers, but it’s just a bit – well – too much.

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jack discovers bandom and sort of regrets it...

A sequel-ette to Blue-Eyed Jack. Jack just wants confirmation the song is about him. He doesn’t mean to fall down this particular rabbit hole.


When Bitty & the Biscuits came out with their new single, Jack was one of the first to know.

He wasn’t obsessed with the band, per se, just…enthusiastic. Jack loved country and folk music, grew up listening to his mom’s Johnny Cash and Emmylou Harris albums. His first concert had been Charlie Daniels. His first crush had been Natalie Maines. And a year ago, when he’d stumbled across this little band with a Canadian guitarist and a ridiculously cute lead singer who was openly gay–well, Jack had been sold on the spot.

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One Week (Connor Murphy x Reader)

TW: EVEN SMUTTIER THAN THE LAST ONE, swearing, a whole lot of innuendos

Words: 1,700 ish

Disclaimer: I may edit this a tiny bit more in the future. But enjoy, kiddos!


“Oh here they come,” Alanna groaned to the rest of your friends, spotting you and Connor walking towards the lunch table. 
“Wow, and a whole new gallery of hickeys to go along with it!” Jared nodded towards the faint purple bruises on Connor’s neck. 
“Ugh, seriously, can we stop talking about this? He’s my brother. The last thing I want to think about is him… doing it,” Zoe basically cringed at her last words. She folded up her half eaten sandwich, clearly having a loss of appetite.

You and Connor sat down, smiling. Your boyfriend slung his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side.
“What were you guys talking about?” You asked curiously. 
“Oh, just how you and Connor can’t keep it in your goddamn pants,” Jared snorted casually.

“I mean, I’ve never heard Y/N complain-“

Zoe groaned. “Okay, that’s all I can take. Come on, Evan, let’s go eat outside,” she stood up and the blue boy followed. His ears were pink just from listening to the conversation.

“See? Even tree-nut over there can’t be around you two,” Jared remarked.

“What the hell do you mean, Kleinman?” Connor rolled his eyes. 
“I MEAN that we all know how much you guys fuck. My god, look at you; your neck could be a Picasso sunrise!” Jared laughed in between his words. Connor’s hand shot up to his neck immediately, in attempt to hide them.

“Every time we get together, you guys always leave early to have sex,” Alanna pointed out, taking a bite of a baby carrot.

“Do not! When was the last time we did that?” You looked at Alanna with disbelief.

“Literally last week we watched Schindler’s List at my house, and you sucked Connor off in the bathroom,” Alanna stated.

Your face turned bright red. Connor’s ears changed colour like a chameleon to match.

“Who the fuck gets turned on by dead Jews? You guys are messed up,” Jared joked.

You rolled your head back and groaned. “Ugh, you guys are exaggerating! We don’t do it that often.”

Alanna and Jared bounced back and forth.

“Last week. Schindler’s List.”
“Week before that, we went to the arcade. You guys left and had sex at Y/N’s house.”

“Week before that, we all went out to eat and you guys dashed before dessert came.”

“Ok, ok! I get it. We have a lot of sex. But what’s wrong with that?” Connor let out an annoyed sigh.

“There’s nothing wrong with it, scientifically speaking, but it’s just… annoying,” Alanna concluded.

“Yeah, I bet you two couldn’t go a week without having sex.” Jared took a sip of his juice box, giving you both a judgemental glare above the rim of his glasses.

“You’re on,” you shook his hand. Connor choked on his own spit, eyes growing wide.

“Wait, babe, are you sure-”

“Quitting already, Murphy?” Jared spoke as he reached out his hands to shake yours.

Connor gulped, looking between the two of you. “Ok. Fine,” he finally sighed.

Alanna checked her watch, “ok, so this time in exactly a week, you guys cannot have ANY sexual intercourse. That includes anything in sexual nature.”

You nodded with a confident smirk on your face.

Two days have already passed, and it’s been a lot harder than you thought. You have been so used to having little quickies and long nights with Connor, that you felt… frustrated. It was almost as if your nerves were just asking to be trampled on. Even worse, Connor was getting antsy.

You were at his house, in an attempt to study. But he couldn’t sit still. He was full of energy and in a pissed off mood.

“Connor, just come sit down,” you pinched the bridge of your nose with your fingers.

“I can’t fucking sit down. I can’t just sit, I-I need something,” he ran his hand through his long hair, pulling at the roots.

Connor had quit smoking after you two started having sex. When he smoked weed, he felt a release of stress. Then when he became intimate with you, he didn’t need that other outlet. Of course, you were over-the-moon when he told you that he had stopped smoking. And the sex wasn’t too bad either. You stood up from his bed, walking over to him and placed your hand on his arm.

“Look, I get that this is all a shitty bet made by Kleinman, but we have to prove to ourselves that this relationship is more than just sex,” you gave him an endearing look, searching his eyes.

Connor dropped his hands to his sides, nodding. “Yeah. You’re right,” he sighed softly.

The two of you were laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Do you remember that time, we were on a date, and you laughed so hard that soda came out of your nose?” Connor teases with a grin.

“Oh don’t remind me,” you giggled.

“I think that’s when I fell in love with you. I mean, who wouldn’t want a girl who has Dr.Pepper for snot?” He tickled your side softly.

“Ok, seriously, shut up. Remember the time you peed yourself in second grade? Yeah, don’t start shit, Murphy.” You jokingly growled back with a laugh.

The two of you continued to joke and share the odd memory or two. You reminisced on embarrassing moments, your firsts, and plans for the future. It had been so long since you two had just sat down spoke to each other. It felt… nice.

Connor must have been thinking the same thing, because when you looked to your right, he was looking right at you. There was something in his eyes that you hadn’t seen in a very long time. It was the look of genuine care and love. His pupils were enlarged and his eyebrows were relaxed. His mind looked like it was put at ease with something other than physical pleasure.

As much as you hated to admit it, Jared might have actually done something useful.

-

Time wore on and your patience grew both thick and thin. A week without sex was a week full of love and frustration. You and Connor took the extra time you had to get to know each other. But your time alone was the most frustrating. 3 days into the week, he had tried to sext you. Sending you teasing messages and pictures of himself that were not-safe-for-work. By the fourth day, he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. When you sat near each other, his hand would run up your leg and be hiked dangerously north. By the fifth day, Connor’s eyes were glued to your neck. He stared at the skin that resembled a blank canvas. He wanted to litter it with bruises created by his lips. He wanted to make sure that everyone knew you were his. And by the sixth day, you couldn’t take it anymore.

-

Connor growled as he shoved you into his room, slamming the door closed. You attacked his lips, pressing so hard that he almost lost balance. Connor yanked your jacket off of your arms, throwing it on the floor. The zipper hit the floor, making a loud noise. But you didn’t care. Every sensation that wasn’t caused by Connor – faded into white noise.

He quickly grabbed your thighs, throwing you onto his double bed. He tucked his head in your neck, biting and finally creating a piece of art that couldn’t be graded. His hands quickly moved under your shirt, grabbing onto your breasts roughly.

“God, I fucking missed these,” he breathed out messily.

“Connor, w-what about your parents? W-What about Zoe?” you whispered in between hot breaths.

His hands grabbed your thighs and pulled them apart roughly, slipping his torso between them. “At work. I don’t fucking care about Zoe,” he grumbled against your skin.

You tipped your head backwards, letting your boyfriend catch up on all the missed time. Every tick, emotion, or outlet he needed was now all in for your pleasure. His anger built up from the week is pushed onto his muscles: carrying out the pleasure that he dedicates to you.

Connor sat on his knees. Stripping off his shirt, he presented the pale torso that you know all-too-well. You placed your hand on the line of hair beneath his belly button. You wanted to admire his beauty, but Connor had other plans. He attached his lips to yours and the two of you continued to remove your clothes, throwing them to the side of his bedroom.

His kisses trailed down your bare body. His movements resembled a waterfall, graceful and with a plan. He got dangerously close to where you wanted him the most. Slipping under the covers, he threw your legs onto his shoulders, burying his face in your thighs. He kissed up them, his nose nuzzling into the soft skin.

“I’m so lucky. So goddamn lucky,” he murmured.

You sucked in your breath, leaning onto your elbows as you watched his every move.

Connor kissed up your legs, and placed a soft kiss to your core. You hissed in delight, mouth hanging agape. Connor licked a single stride, smirking as you squirmed beneath his touch. He alternated between his tongue and fingertips, making sure to give you his undivided attention.

“You’re such a pretty girl, so so pretty,” he murmured against your heat.

You grabbed onto his locks, throwing your head back with your eyes closed. You could feel him humming the tune to your favourite song. You felt so close to the brim and then he pulled away.

Whining, you looked at him. Usually, he would give you 2-3 orgasms a night. But he was too eager to finish what he started. Throwing open his bedside drawer, he reached for a condom and slipped it on.

“Ride me,” he spoke quickly. You nodded and straddled him. You slipped him into you and rested your forehead against his.

-

Zoe walked through the front door of her house. Her mom and dad were at work, but had texted her to ask Connor what he wanted for dinner. Running upstairs, she was already dialing the number to her favourite pizza place.

She swung his bedroom door open, “Hey Connor, what do you want for- OH DEAR GOD.”

drunk boyfriend tag

summary: dan and phil get drunk and film the boyfriend tag (similar to what shane dawson did)

tags: alcohol, so much sweetness and cuteness your teeth will hurt, extreme fluff

by: angelboydjh on tumblr

word count: ~1.8k

first fic posted!! please, ignore any mistakes and reblog and like!! ilu!! send in requests for fics :-)

゚*。:(人´v`*)☆゚:。*゚

dan and phil got a little drunk. they originally got out some Ribena, which is completely unharmful, until dan spotted vodka on the kitchen counter, which they only keep for parties. its almost gone, with a half a bottle left, so dan thought of an idea.

“phil, lets get drunk.” phil looked at dan confused; dan never really likes drinking as much as he used to, hes grown, the satisfaction of being drunk doesnt really thrill as much, and its the same with phil.

“why?” asked phil, sipping his Ribena.

“because why not! we have no meeting tomorrow, we are bored out of our minds, and itll be fun! we’ll even be safe, we can control each other well.” phil thought about it. he never really likes hangovers, who does? he gets them bad, and he knows dan gets them worse, but dan was right, they were extremely bored and had no meetings tomorrow. phil shrugged, and replied with a sure, causing dan to jump up with joy.

dan grabbed the bottle and went to phils room, closing the door, and sitting on his bed. he opens to bottle and pours a lot in his drink, doing the same to phil. there is now many 4 shots full left of the drink and dan was happy he rationed out well.

“wanna do a toast?” asked phil.

“with our vodka filled ribena?” chuckled dan. phil nodded, giggling a little.

“why not?” phil responded, and dan nodded agreeing. they lifted their glass cups up and they look at each other. “to us!”

dan laughed at the cliché, but echoed phil, and a clink noise was heard when the touched glasses. dan downed about half of his drink in that one sip, phil only taking a baby sip.

phil made a face, hating the taste of vodka. dan hid his disgust, looking at phil.

“now we wait.” dan took another sip, already feeling slightly dizzy.

*:・゚✧

dan was fully drunk. he was giggling, putting his head on phil, slurring his words, all of it.

phil was only tipsy. he didnt drink much yet, only about half of his drink. dan, of course, drank all of it, even the rest in the bottle!

“phil!” dan slurred out, and phil glanced over slowly, so he doesnt get dizzy, and raised his eyebrow. “we should do a boyfriend tag.”

phil thought about this. is he that drunk that he doesnt really care if they do one or not? yes. he doesnt really care, its not like itll be posted. phil knows better than that.

“sure.” phil got up to get his camera from the other side of the room, and dan plopped on the bed laughing at who knows what.

it took phil about 2 minutes to set up everything for filming, and an extra 5 minutes to find good goddamn questions.

he finally found some question, a total of twenty. he can barely read them because of his blurry vision, and since he didnt have neither his contacts or glasses on. so he grabbed his glasses from the bed side and put them on to see if itll help. nope. he took another sip of his drink and locked his phone. he’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it. he gets up and turns on the camera, praying to god its in focus.

“dan, its on, we are filming.” once those words left phils mouth, dan shot up from phils bed and looked at phil.

“okay, okay, okay, okay,” he kept repeating that until he finally was next to phil on the bed facing the camera. phil giggled at dan, dan looking at him with his red cheeks.

“okay, ready, babe?” asked phil, seeing double of dan. dan nodded, and smiled at phil and then at the camera.

“okay,” phil breathed in and then ‘took in his persona’.

“hey guys!” he said cheerfully, but all it did is make him dizzy. dan was like, on top of phil, so hes grateful that he was, or phil wouldve fallen over.

“im here with dan.” phil pointed at him, and dan waved, his white oversized cat shirt being exposed, and you could even see his naked legs, since hes wearing shorts. “we are doing the boyfriend tag.” phil said slowly, and dan nodded jumping up and down on the bed.

“phil is my boyfriend! boyfriend phil! philip lester, boyfriend!” he yelled, making phil giggle.

“okay, want ask the questions, or do u want me go ask them?” asked phil to dan.

“ask me the questions! then we will do it back!” dan suggested, and phil nodded encouragingly.

“okay, first question.” phil unlocked his phone and read it very carefully.

“when is my birthday?” he asked. “bonus points for the zodiac sign!”

“january 30th, that makes you a……” he strung out the 'a’ to think. “an Aquarius! aquarium.” he laughed, and phil chuckled.

“correct baby.” he leaned in to kiss dan, and dan kissed him, tasting of vodka and ribena.

“okay, now,” phil was going to go to the next question, but dan protested.

“now do mine! do mine!” dan pouted, crossing his arms.

“june 11th! youre a gemini.” phil stuttered out, making dan laugh.

“lucky guess.” he muttered jokingly.

“next question,” phil scrolled down the page. “where did i grow up?”

“im too drunk for this phil!!” he moaned out. “the north! thats all youre getting.”

“well, youre not wrong.” said phil. “ill give you the point.”

“what about me?” asked dan.

“the south.”

“ugh! exact place!”

“not fair, you didnt do that for me!”

“ugh, whatever.” dan pouted again.

“wipe that pout off your face princess.” phil whispered, grabbing dans chin.

“im just kidding philly!” dan kissed phil, getting him off guard.

“okay, next,” phil asked. “whats my middle name?”

“michael! these are too easy! i want harder ones. test me!” dan groaned out, and phil rolled his eyes.

“okay, okay,” phil said. he scrolled down to another website, which had different questions. “how about this: where was our first date?”

“EASY!” he yelled, throwing his hands up. “well, kinda,” he muttered. “its hard!”

“well, tell me.” phil said suggestively, leaning closer to dan.

“we first met of course at the train station,” he muttered out. “and then we went straight to your house, and, did things. does that count as a first date?” this took him way too long to say, as he was stuttering madly.

“yes, it does. great job, cutie.” phil said happily and leaned in for a kiss.

“okay, let me ask the question!” phil started to give him the phone, but dan refused, saying he wants go make one up.

“whats the first thing you notice about me?” he asked a bashful.

“your smile.” phil said simply. no explanation was needed to make dan feel all warm inside. dan covered his face and leaned on phils shoulder, grinning like mad.

once he got up, he looked at phil, seeing his wonderful, eyes.

“you know what mine is.” he muttered, almost inaudible. it was phils turn to blush. they lean in and kiss once again, but longer than before.

when they pulled apart, dan was seeing actual stars, and couldnt even understand what was happening, completely forgot about the video.

“oh my god, i love you so much.” he said in a shush tone, with phils hand on his cheek. they were only a few inches away from each other, and phil loved it. phil was exploding every inch of dans face, and so was dan. every moment phil made, it made him more dizzy and more dazed, but he didnt care.

within a few moments, they both locked eyes, and somehow, both remembered they were recording.

“uh, one more question,” phil stuttered out, as dan looked around for his almost empty drink. “okay, last question. what is my favorite color?”

“easy, blue.” dan said, as he drank his final sips of his drink before crushed it and threw it.

“hey!” phil protested, looking over at the cup.

“ill pick it ip later, babe.” dan slurred out almost incoherently. “whats mine?”

“easy, pink.” phil mocked. dan smiled softly, putting his arms around phils neck, phil put this hands on dans waist.

“what kind of pink?” he muttered, with his sloppy grin on his face, his curly hair perfect in tack still. (which surprised phil)

“pastel.” dan groaned jokingly, letting his head drop down onto phils shoulders.

“oh my god, i tried to trick you!” dan yelled.

“well, you didnt. 8 years of friendship pays off.” phil joked. dan put his head on phils shoulder, his head facing the camera.

“can we finish? i wanna cuddle with you watch disney movies.” phil chuckled and nodded.

“we’ll finish, lets do the outro.” phil tapped dan, so he can get up from his shoulder, but dan didnt move a muscle, indicating hes not moving.

“okay, well, goodbye everyone, please like a subscribe to me and dans channel, and our gaming channel! love you!” he waved and awkwardly looked at dan.

“i need to turn off that camera baby.” dan groaned and got up from phils shoulder. phil got up and turned off the camera, sitting right on his bed again next to dan.

“can we just cuddle?” phil can tell dan was getting tired, and getting all drained. he gets like this when hes drunk, but also after recording videos.

“of course, princess.” phil laid down, then wrapping his arms around dan who is not next to them. they peacefully fall asleep, with the lights on and phils snoring.

*:・゚✧

it was the morning, and phil is posting his premade video on lessamazingphil, just a quick vlog from florida. its taking surprisingly long to process, since its only 2 minutes, but phil didnt question it. its almost done, so phil went to go see dan, who has the worst hangover ever.

“how are you baby?” asked phil, laying next to dan.

“better, how bad was it?” he asked, and phil laughed.

“you were fine, not as bad as a few months ago, but you were not any better.” dan groaned, and at that moment his phone dinged. he unlocked his phone to see the notification, YouTube popping up, and it was phils new video.

“uh, phil.” dan said.

“yes?” phil hummed.

“you posted the wrong video.”

“what?” phil yelled a little too loudly for dan, as he backed away and gave phil his phone in just one beat.

“i uploaded our drunk boyfriend tag.” dans eyes widen.

“we filmed a video? no way, i dont remember this. did we kiss?”

“i was drunk too!”

“well, i would keep it up.”

“why?”

“we already made this mistake once, lets just let them have what they want.”

4

HOLY SHITBALLS x x

i invite you to examine the offended dignity in mamoru’s posture. HE HEARD LUNA TALK AND USAGI IS LYING ABOUT IT TO HIS FACE. what the hell else is going on in his head? i mean other than the fact that…    

“she’s a terrible liar and has an awesome secret. it can’t possibly be that she’s not admitting it because i’m wearing a tuxedo in the afternoon – after all, that should be MORE proof that she should be able to tell me, because if i’m the kind of person who wears a tuxedo in the afternoon, then probably nobody’s going to believe me if i go around saying a cat can talk. and besides!! i lowered my voice and everything!! i’m not making a scene about it! SHE is!”    

look at his shoulders getting all hunched up and his arms straightening and his chin jutting out and his eyebrows getting even scowlier.  

“she can’t POSSIBLY be running away and lying because i’m making a scary face, right? my face is not scary, it’s very pretty and even old ladies and other male model hobbyists tell me so. also there is all this blushing. even she blushed!! ugh, people, how do i even people, life is hard and my classy honesty is underappreciated.”   

The One With the Baby Fever

Another one shot coming ‘atcha!! also, side note, I am like so in tune with Brie and Daniel’s baby stuff. Like I watch the youtube videos and stuff, and I’m just so excited for them. and I don’t even know them??

this was roughly 16 pages in my notebook? so  i’m pretty sure this is the longest thing I’ve ever wrote. and I wrote in a bit of Dean’s pov so be aware of that *finger guns*

Dean Ambrose x Reader

While meeting Brie Bella’s new baby, Dean starts to feel some type of way.

There is now a part two!!! this is going to be a mini series.

Originally posted by stellarollins

Keep reading

Workout (m)

inspired by this particular gif (credit to @/natka9721)

i swear this boy is out to kill all of us but stay strong just like that last button on his shirt 

Rated M 

Word Count: 3469

Jeongguk x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: Jeongguk’s under strict instructions not to work out because it’s eating into the wardrobe budget and causing one too many malfunctions. As his stylist, you’re responsible for making sure he fits into his stage outfits, but when his urge to workout is unstoppable, you’re left with only one other choice to save your job.


The situation is dire, but Jeongguk doesn’t seem to be aware of even an inkling of your desperation as you run your hands over his chest frantically.

“Damn it Jeon Jeongguk, did you work out again? I literally just replaced all the dress shirts in your stage outfits with a size up just last week! And Jungyeon unnie will kill me if I tell her your blazer needs to be altered, again. Didn’t manager Sejin tell you that you weren’t allowed to work out anymore??”

He doesn’t seem to be listening to your mini rant as he checks himself out in the mirror behind you, admiring the smokiness of the eyeshadow smudged on his lids, and running a finger along the sharp crease of his jaw before adjusting the mic headset around his ear.

You give his nipple a sharp pinch and he yelps in response. He has the decency to look a little guilty as he shifts his gaze to your face, and fiddles with his bottom lip in hesitation.

Keep reading

descendants 2 sentence meme .

FEEL FREE TO CHANGE PRONOUNS / ETC . LYRICAL VERSION .

❛ that’s a lot easier said than done though , right ? ❜
❛ look who’s on tv ! ❜
❛ haven’t you guys had enough secrets between the two of you already ? ❜
❛ put the pout away . ❜
❛ just leave the past in the past , okay ? ❜
❛ listen , all you gotta do , is look like me . ❜
❛ i can hardly wait to see what your wedding will look like ! ❜
❛ no wonder people work ! ❜
❛ let me spoil you , you didn’t have a lot growing up . ❜
❛ does an ogre like cheese puffs ?! ❜
❛ i knew it was thursday . ❜
❛ she multitasks ! ❜
❛ you should put me on the team . ❜
❛ it’s so nice to have a friend who’s on the same wavelength . ❜
❛ i would love to wipe the smiles off their faces , you know what i mean ? ❜
❛ we don’t get much time to just be us anymore . ❜
❛ this is who i really am . ❜
❛ i don’t belong here ! ❜
❛ this is my fault ! ❜
❛ you have to take me with you . ❜
❛ ugh , what is this ? bored to death pink ? ❜
❛ how far can i go ? ❜
❛ fork it over , you runt . ❜
❛ i could hurt you . ❜
❛ it’s really weird being back here . ❜
❛ just take it . ❜
❛ hey ! i know you ! ❜
❛ wish me luck . ❜
❛ i am home . ❜
❛ don’t quit us . ❜
❛ i have to take myself out of the picture . ❜
❛ go away ! ❜
❛ don’t scare us like that ! ❜
❛ don’t scare you ? that’s my specialty . ❜
❛ life ain’t fair ! ❜
❛ you have your perfect little life , don’t you ? ❜
❛ sick hair by the way ! ❜
❛ i spilled curry all over that . ❜
❛ is it me , or is that in really poor taste ? ❜
❛ at least one of us had her dream come true , right ? ❜
❛ she could be so much more . ❜
❛ i couldn’t spoil that for you . ❜
❛ we don’t need swords at the waffle hut . ❜
❛ don’t pretend to look out for me . ❜
❛ i don’t need your pity . ❜
❛ so now i get an invite ? ❜
❛ i don’t need you . ❜
❛ you’re lucky i love you . ❜
❛ you do not get to win every time ! ❜
❛ amazeballs ! ❜
❛ i know you can talk , but that doesn’t always mean you should . ❜
❛ are you in the mood to break some rules ? ❜
❛ we’re your family too . ❜
❛ i’m a mess . ❜
❛ wait until i tell my mom . ❜
❛ i have a scout badge in s’mores ! ❜
❛ don’t be dopey . ❜
❛ this is my room ! ❜
❛ i’m gonna be there sooner than i thought . ❜
❛ work it girl . ❜
❛ it was love ! ❜
❛ did you go back for her ? ❜
❛ that’s why you never told me that you love me ! ❜
❛ not to thrilled i risked my life for him ! ❜
❛ i thought that i wasn’t good enough . ❜
❛ of course , i love you ! i’ve always loved you ! ❜
❛ do not let your pride get in the way of something that you really want ! ❜
❛ nobody wins this way ! ❜
❛ could i maybe give you a list ? ❜
❛ i’m going to take it . ❜
❛ you didn’t think this was the end of the story , did you ? ❜

listen to me. listen. jensen ackles is so hot. the only singular thought in my head when he’s on screen is “hot.” I’ve been staring at his fucking face for the past four years of my life and still it’s just. hot. you’d think I’d get used to it? get over it? grow weary of it? my tired eyes cannot take this much longer. he’s so hot. why am I like this. hot.

me when i hear each hero's ult line
  • genji: no no no no NO NO GET AWAY FROM ME NO NO NO PLEASE NO
  • tracer: piss off brat
  • pharah: please don't see me please don't see me
  • reaper: get your edge out of my fucking face
  • soldier 76: run
  • mccree: RUN
  • junkrat: oh god where's it coming from oh god oh god no
  • mei: AAAAAUUUGGHHHHHHHHH
  • torbjorn: i fucking hate you and your fucking turret go to hell
  • widowmaker: ugh
  • bastion: i cant believe bastion just got potg
  • hanzo: fucking loser
  • d.va: IF ANY OF YALL DIE TO THIS IM GONNA SCREAM
  • reinhardt: ive accepted my fate
  • roadhog: im going to die
  • zarya: help
  • winston: WE HAVE TO LEAVE THE PREMISES RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY
  • ana: fear
  • lucio: goddammit
  • mercy: god FUCK shitting hell FUCKING SHITTING FUCKING DAMMIT
  • symmetra: :/
  • zenyatta: i cannot be any less tranquil than i am right now in this moment