Once upon a time, a girl named Brooke from the great, humid state of Florida decided that on this fateful day, she would make a tumblr account. She did, and after receiving a single follower, she danced around her room like an utter idiot. Flash forward a month, and she was scrolling through her feed. She was looking at the ship “eremin” and stumbled upon an account named “attackonshawn.” Since it was an audio post, she plugged in her earbuds and listened to this wonderful human’s godlike voice. She instantly followed him. A few minutes later, he followed her back. She did the stupid idiot dance again, only multiplied by 100000000 bc of the magnitude of this guy’s talent. A few weeks later, we get to know each other very well and become awesome fwends. He hosts various streams that birth some of the greatest memes of the century, created by none other than me, the meme queen (ily meme king @pixelbit5801 ) and the wondrous Shawn Squad. Adding sh to things, pineapple shipping, kinkshaming, and even the entire bee movie script were discussed and laughed at on the streams and on the dashboards of his awesome followers. Today, his fan base has grown to a whopping 2000 people. That’s a lot of Shawn Squadians. Anyways, this girl, Brooke, has had the greatest period of her life bc of this one accident of stumbling upon your audio post, Shawn. This whole situation has literally been a happy accident. Wow, I’m glad I clicked that play button. Otherwise, I would’ve never met your wonderful, awesome, funny, and shamazing self. Keep being you, Shawnathon. We shlove you so much. You’re one fine pineapple. ♡
girls love each other like animals. there is something ferocious and unself-conscious about it. we don’t guard ourselves like we do with boys. no one trains us to shield our hearts from each other. with girls, it’s total vulnerability from the beginning. our skin is bare and soft. we love with claws and teeth and the blood is just proof of how much. it’s feral.
wow. so. tomorrow i’m basically 90% sure i need to take a sick day and i texted my boss just to give her a heads up, in a very respectful manner, and then she just sent me the most pissed off text which says ‘this is an unacceptable method of telling me. please follow correct procedure tomorrow’ and ?????? what she means is i have to ring her two hours before my shift starts and like… yeah… i get it… that’s technically the rules… but who complains about advanced notice? i literally texted her because i knew someone wasn’t working tomorrow and she might need more time to find a replacement. so like wtf bitch.
i feel like tvd has been getting worse and worse, and i’ve been wondering why i felt that way and then i realized:
i don’t care about stefan or damon. and i certainly don’t care about their relationship. theyre both basically assholes and murderers and i’m tired of watching episode after episode of them crying about their shitty lives.
i’m only watching this show for the women. for bonnie and caroline. but even after nina left the show, they are STILL sidelined. it’s like they aren’t even characters in the show. they’re decorative vases or something.
i had to watch an entire episode about damon’s shitty hell and then i got to watch him assault my ladies? ugh. this show is garbage.