u-smell

depression tips™
  • shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.
  • moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 
  • put on clean, comfortable clothes. 
  • put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.
  • drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.
  • clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 
  • blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.
  • make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 
  • make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.
  • go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.
  • call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.
  • cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

some things i gayly love abt women

  • when they like bite their lip and tilt their head to the side when u flirt and/or fidget with their hair/tie/necklace
  • when they do that slow smile
  • healthy communication where u both feel listened to!! it’s! so! good!
  • squish. squiiiiish.
  • t shirts and underwear. please. yes. Good.
  • morning blinking
  • when their perfume or cologne gets on u & u smell them all day 
  • when they help u murder ur husband
  • mutual gestures of affection!!
  • when they go from all sexy and seductive to laughing & back in like .00023 seconds
Call Out Post for Murdoc Niccals

Apparently Murdocs nasty dried up chicken fingers, no shea butter, no coco butter, no lotion looking hands in stylo are attractive to some of yalls, along with his nasty gangrene skin lookin like his bitch ass cannot fathom and cannot even begin to process the idea of a shower in 3 decades, and dont even get me started on this man getup since phase 1 I wanted to take his ass outside and drag his naked body in dirt and you would get the same result you usually see his dirty nasty body wearin, but i aint going to do that cauze lord knows where his filthy ass been and his god awful body probably give me ring worm. His clothes which undeniably haven’t been washed since 1994 smfh he crashed into Stu Pot but it wasn’t the car that knocked him out it was the nasty STENCH from his deteriorating body and yall it aint the car that made him almost blind its just every time he sees Murdocs monstrosity of an outfit he is unable to close his eyes hard enough that he rather get Psychogenic Blindness. Not to mention his John Legend 1960 haircut, bitch we know your devil worshipping ass was born in ‘66, dont need to look like you stepped out a time machine for that turns garbage into humans.

platonic things to do w ur bro:
  • ask him to dream u the world, something new for every night. totally platonic and very bro
  • get orange juice together @ 3am and don’t worry if Lorde made orange juice gay, it’s just ur bro and thats not gay
  • awkwardly and earnestly ask ur bro if he dreams abt u
  • tell ur bro u rmbr what he smells like when he lived in his childhood home but it’s just bc u have a really great memory and not bc you’ve been thinking abt what ur bro smells like
  • buy a house and live w ur bro bc Thats What Bros Do™
some Sehun headcanons

•   the other members really underestimate how much of a gentleman he is when he’s w/ you
•   like they see yall roughhousing all the time, just rolling all around the floor and having tickling wars and smearing ice cream all over each other’s noses but…….. like Sehunnie is so sweet and thoughtful
•   esp when they’re not around, I mean ESP CHANBAEK
•   bc he knows the teasing is just started when they sit on either side of him on the couch after you’ve just left their place, eyeing him and smirking “so uh, you really are in love with y/n, aren’t you ;;;? Yeol, I can’t believe this baby’s grown up so fast we ain’t ready" 

•   but seriously tho, he’ll open doors for you and pull out your chair 

•   even lets you sleep on his arm when you abandon your pillow in the middle of the night aw
•   tusendre KING tho
•   like he’ll throw in a compliment out of nowhere so suddenly, acting all cool and nonchalant
•   BUT HIS HEART IS BEATING REALLY FAST AND HE JUST WANTS YOU TO FEEL LOVED AND APPRECIATED WITHOUT SCARING YOU AND BEING TOO FORWARD
•   sarcasm is his well-known trait ofc, and you’ve become a master at deciphering whether he’s being serious or not
•   bc let’s face it no one can ever tell w/ his pokerface :^)))
•   he’d find the stupidest excuses just to keep texting you late at night when you’re both supposed to be sleeping
•   "hey y/n, what time is it?” “Sehun you’re literally on your phone right now”
•   “I can’t sleep I’m having nightmares ;(((( come cuddle me and play with my hair” “ok sure, lemme just fly out to China real quick”
•   “don’t be mean jfc I just wanna keep talking to you. I’ll just cuddle vivi instead bye.”
•   high key has taken the Harry Potter sorting quiz a million times
•   and gets mad every time yall end up in different houses
•   “I know I shouldn’t have let a Slytherin into my house smh, vivi come here n lemme take this quiz for u real quick”
•   + nonstop texts full of meme replies
•   he’d use his long legs to wrap around you when you’re cold and can’t sleep
•   esp if you’re always complaining about him hogging the covers
•   offers to feed you food
•   and proceeds to laugh for 20 mins bc now there’s sauce on your chin and he’s a literal child
•   but then he’s a weirdo bc he’s like I’m offering to lick it, and you’re like ???? Wtf no <<
•   one time he tried cooking for you to surprise you
•   and when he saw your disgusted face he was a lil butthurt, ngl
•   “?? Aren’t you supposed to at least lie and say you liked it so you wouldn’t hurt my feelings? So cold hearted”
•   “Well I think you permanently damaged my stomach so a ‘no thank you’ is all you’re gonna get, Oh”
•   he hates being away from you and the members totally pick up on it
•   so at least 3 times a day you’ll be getting calls and snaps from suho and chanyeol of your grouchy bf
•   only bc he’s too stubborn to call you and say he misses you himself bc he’s sure he’ll cry
•   or worse…………
•   say I love you and you might not say it back yikes
•   well I mean one time you heard him snort over the phone while he was laughing sooo………you never let him live it down
•   always stares at you before waking you up but he’ll never admit it
•   Sehun is intrigued by the way you always talk with your hands, sometimes even chuckles and calls you out on it
•   “no babe, I mean it’s cute. ur cute”
•   he’s extra cuddly in the morning, I’ll just leave that up for your imagination
•   no but really
•   his lips will unconsciously be at your shoulders and neck, while he’s completely aldeep and unaware
•   sometimes he’ll lightly bite you???????
•   and when he finds the little red marks when he wakes up he’s like “!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who did that?? Was it vivi???? Baby :(”
•   “Sehun is2g”
•   movie nights are his favorite nights I bet
•   bc at some point yall would always end up making out halfway through the movie so ;;;;
•   he’d love to hug you from behind and press his lil nose against your neck
•   “u smell good babe, is that my cologne lmao”
•   when he’s feeling cheeky he’s a ball of energy and fluff
•   like he’ll straddle you and presses kisses all over your face, proclaiming his love for you for the 5th time that day
•   grins when you smack his booty “wow it always bounces, how are you so thicc”
•   ALSO when you call him baby………………..get ready to be snuggled for an hour
•   gosh he loves to be pampered by you and when you call him cute lil nicknames like that, that’s when he feels most special and loved by you
•   like yall are just hella goofy w/ each other
•   listen he’ll complain and whine and be clingy sometimes, but I bet he’ll always be thanking whoever it is that made you walk into his life and change it for for the good 💛

Originally posted by ionlylistentoasianmusic

*garbage truck passes by*
  • Jumin: Oh look, Zen's ride is here.
  • Seven: NO IT'S MINE! *runs after the truck* TAKE ME HOME PLEASEEEEEEEE!!
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Bad Vampire Chronicles Aesthetics: Interview w/ the Vampires

u whining coward of a vampire who prowls the night killing alley cats and rats and staring for hrs at candles as if they were ppl and standing in the rain like a zombie until ur clothes are drenched and u smell like old wardrobe trunks in attics and have the look of a baffled idiot at the zoo.

(Inspired by Bad Shakespeare Aesthetics!)