u r my light and day

autistic in a heatwave tips!

we’re having a heatwave !! which is lovely because i love hot weather, but im bad at temperature adjustment and regulation which can be bad. i also know that lots of other autistics find hot weather sensory hell, so here r a few things that i find help:

- you dont Have to be in the sun all day. lots of people will say stuff tht makes u feel guilty about “wasting the good weather”, but they dont know how it affects u personally, so do whats best for u. if u wanna stay inside all day or never leave the shade, do it!! its better to b comfortable than anything else
- this goes doubly if u live in a place where u actually get aircon in non commercial buildings
- wear as few clothes as possible. sounds obvious, but youd be surprised at how much difference not having even one layer makes. if youre self conscious abt ur body, invest in some mesh or sheer clothing - its stylish, v thin and light, and will obscure ur form - if u r wearing clothes, wet them !! this helps So Much its my fav tip. wetting a hat or pouring water down ur shirt cools u down a load, and can help u stay cool until it all evaporates. last year i managed to be the only one to mostly avoid heatstroke when hiking by doing this. having wet trousers/shorts is sensory hell for me, so i stick to just my shirt. if u cant cope w that, keep a damp cloth on u and put it on ur skin whenever u can
- drink A Lot. if ur thirsty, ur probably already dehydrated. dehydration can lead to feeling sick, headachy, and exasperates sensory issues (i usually burn out twice as often if im dehydrated). to avoid this, drink lots of water. do u hate drinking water? yeah, me too. keeping a bottle full on u is good because its just There so u end up drinking it because its smth to do.
alternately, drink lots of juice/iced tea/soda (fizzy drinks dehydrate u a bit, but theyre better than nothing!)
if u wanna rehydrate quickly, sports drinks r the way to go bc they replace electrolytes (cheap alternative: dissolve salt n sugar into water)
- crunch on ice !! it cools u down, it hydrates u, and u can Lov The Cronch
- dont get burnt: it leads to sunburn which is Sensory Hell, can give u heat stroke, and long term skin damage. do u hate sun cream? Me Too, but its better than sunburn. instead of the gross lotiony suncreams, u can get oil based ones (p20 is the brand here, idk if its international) which tend to b more expensive, but last a full 24hrs, feel non gloopy, and dont smell as strong
- sleep w just a bed sheet as covers bc its much cooler, but u still have the feeling of smth covering u
- ur feet r the most important for temp regulation , so keep them cool most importantly
- cold showers r great but also painful so a softer alternative is room temp showers bc theyll still cool u down without freezing ur various body parts off
- mope on the floor like 24/7 it doesnt exactly cool u down but it doesnt use much energy n its perfect for that summery sluggishness. fav activity 10/10 would recommend

anyone else pls add on suggestions!!

Today marks the day I return home to myself. That I begin the long journey that will be learning to trust in my own power again—to engage life, be light, and stand confidently in my own skin. And when I arrive, I will move gently through each dark, narrow room. And proudly draw back the curtains.
—  Beau TaplinD r a w  T h e  C u r t a i n s 

life has gone to shit in the past few weeks and so i decided to start waking up early and taking charge of my life. it’s going ok so far. i am a night owl, though, soooo listen to me my tips work y’all

getting ur sleep hours

  • okok so iK that this is not always possible n u stay up late doing crap for school or smthing BUT
  • waking up early becomes so much better and easier and calmer when u get ur hours ok
  • find out how many hours u need (varies from person to person; me it’s 8 hours which kills me bc so much frigggging time)
  • depending on what time u want to wake up at, calculate it backwards and this new hour is ur hour that u absolutely cannot stay up past*
  • (* unless u absolutely absolutely have to. i understand that sometimes u just have too much stuff to do and u gta get it done. so in that case u would have to go to sleep as early as u can - meaning after ur deadline has passed, u focus focus focus n don’t do shenanigans.)
  • the idea here is u want a routine ok bc ur body likes routines ur brain likes routines and eventually it’ll wake up naturally at the time

ur alarm

  • this can either go both ways, whatever works 4 u:
    • make it RLLY RLLY shrilly n hella annoying that u hate it and u go and turn it off
      • warning: this can backfire bc u just turn it off and don’t actually wake up
    • or u make it like soft and happy and pretty
      • warning: similarly this can backfire bc u r still sleepy bc soft and happy and pretty
  • either way!!!!!!! DO NOT HIT THE SNOOZE
  • u made the promise to urself to wake up early, honour it. don’t be a shitty person who can’t keep their word. (look @ me guilting u)
  • some ppl like their alarms far but i don’t have enough self control for that lol like my alarm is my phone n getting out of bed b4 sleep to put my phone across the room eh

ur awake. now what?

  • ur probably still sleepy af bc ur a sleep-deprived person who would ideally be sleeping but u persevere my friend
  • ok first thing u do is get out of bed bc the bed is ur enemy and it distracts u ok it sucks!!!!!!!!!
  • couple things to stay awake:
    • in the winter especially i blast light in my face 2 tell my brain “yooo it’s like the day now can u wake the hell up” and then serotonin comes in and it’s like “yooo ty
    • wash my face w/cooold (diduthinkiwasgnasaycool) water bc that wakes u up !!! if u’ve ever been woken up w/water!!! yes it works !!!
    • some ppl r like exercise but be warned: this only works if ur body is somewhat used 2 exercise like mine is not and so exercising in the morning just makes me tired tbh
    • stimulate ur mind ya ok some ppl r against electronics in the morning but idk watching a funny vid or smthing cheers me up a lot (laughing!!! important)


  • bc we r humans driven by desires
    i make like a nice breakfast that i like w/like fruits and like good things and it makes me feeling nice n it’s usually rlly tasty
    • things i like to eat: berry smoothies, burrito wraps, congee, dates lol i’m obsessed w/dates rn
  • sometimes i also plan my outfit n i’m like yooooooo i look so good and it gets me feeling rl nice
  • i also have a short impromptu dance party bc like i can afford it w/the time i have now like i don’t listen to music that much anymore :( but now i have a special time to dedicate to music and dance and it’s gr8

final words

  • pls persevere; habits r not made overnight n u will miss some days n it will be totally ok
  • sunrises r nice to actually see and it’s x108908394 easier in the winter bc later sunrise time soooo js
  • my best friend just texted me “can we nap together tmrw” and that pretty much sums us up idk why that’s relevant but s.o. to him !!!
  • i rlly want a burrito rn
  • ur a superstar u can do it also wtf is sleep who needs that???
  • <3

S I R I U S + R E G U L U S
The brightest stars in the sky

You are loved more than you know. I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so. Though your heart is far too young to realize the unimaginable light you hold inside, I’ll give you everything I have. I’ll teach you everything I know. I promise I’ll do better. I will always hold you close.

Part 4 of ? of the “Art Trade (with capital letters)” (at this point I think that anyway we can say we kinda have a never ending art trade xD) with mah gurl @trashmuh ! ♥  
She requested more Xalender and Muhren interactions, I wanted to work on lights. Cantina time ! Muh wish it was a date I suppose.

sigmastolen  asked:

re: how teens and adults text, I would be super interested for you to explain your theory!

ok SO. a lot of this comes from various stuff i’ve seen on the linguistics of tumblr, but at the heart of it is that people in my generation (at least in the us; idk abt other countries’ timelines on this front) went thru (or are still going thru) our Formative Social Years in an environment where we’d regularly interact with even our closest friends on text-only platforms (whether texting or gchat or fb messages or w/e), and b/c so much linguistic/social information is actually conveyed by facial expression and tone of voice, we’ve collectively made up all of these textual ways of conveying that in a concise, efficient way

so like, sometimes on this blog i’ll talk about “straight people”, and sometimes i’ll talk about “str8 ppl”, and even tho i would pronounce those the same, the first is much more neutral — it would probably happen in the context like “i’m not sure how i feel about straight people writing stories that center around experiences of homophobia” — than the second, which which is much more frustrated/venting — it would be more likely to crop up in the context of “all i want is to live quietly in my little queer utopia but no str8 ppl have to come along and heteronomativity UGH #over it #whatever #NOT RLLY OVER IT”. or even with more subtle things like end punctuation: “i’m not going” basically just means i’m not currently planning to go to the thing; “i’m not going.” carries much more of a connotation of “i have seriously considered going and have Reasons for staying at home” (and note that capital — “i have Reasons for staying at home” feels different than “i have reasons for staying at home”). (and this isn’t even getting into things like shitposting or advanced memeology, but there are specific textual markers that go with things like that, some of which would be pronounced if you read them aloud, but many of which wouldn’t be)

but, crucially, for these kinds of things to carry meaning, they have to be used consistently: if i use “str8 ppl” and “straight people” interchangeably in all contexts (as i do for something like “the supreme court” vs “scotus”), then there’s no way to develop a distinction in meaning between the two — the only way to do that is to consistently use the different orthographies in different contexts. (to take another example: if something is “great”, then it’s solidly good. if something is “gr8”, it’s more in the land of “i can’t quite believe this is as earnest/tacky/tasteless as it is but i’m weirdly into it anyway?” (sometimes with a side helping of “do i just enjoy this ironically or do i genuinely enjoy it there is no way of knowing please send help”))

the upshot of this is that to be fluent in tumblr (or texting, or fb messenger, or w/e) means to actually be paying a lot of attention to subtle points of grammar and spelling, to know when to use “did u kno” or “ur” or even pull out an old-fashioned tip of the hat to “e733T haxxor 5killz”. most of these are very subtle distinctions, the kind of things you feel intuitively rather than write out explicitly, and so it’s very hard to convey them concisely and accurately to someone who’s not already immersed in the linguistic environment

and let’s be real, people in my parents’ generation aren’t. i mean, sure, many of them have facebook accounts, but these kinds of platforms weren’t around when they were in their “really getting to grips with social interaction” years, and their most important social interactions usually don’t take place exclusively online. for me, all of my closest friends are people i’ve only interacted with online for more than a year now (with a few brief face-to-face visits when various travel arrangements have allowed), so tumblr, facebook, and gchat are absolutely critical to my social life and interpersonal interactions; for my parents, their closest friends are people they see in person at work every day, so social media is a light overlay to their social lives, not the thrumming core

as such, my parents don’t grok these distinctions. to them “what are you doing?” means the same thing as “lol wut r u doing”; “gr8” is just like “great” (and “gr9” takes some parsing … ); dogespeak doesn’t have the same distinctive valence that it does to us. since they don’t know about these distinctions, they don’t feel the need to maintain more “proper” spelling/grammar when texting with a friend — different people have different set points for this, obvs, but in general i feel like “standard (setting aside all the class and racial implications in that term …) spelling and grammar” (with lighter-than-standard punctuation and capitalization) translates to “relatively neutral/pleasant conversational voice”, and then deliberate misspellings, abbreviations, letter substitutions, and grammar deviations are markers used to indicate shifts in mood — i have a vague sense that bitterness tends to collapse down and preserve grammar but weird spelling (“lyk w/e im happy 4 u but pls, i kno u lied 2 get that”) whereas enthusiasm tends to preserve spelling but weird grammar (“what i can’t even no how do air AMAZE”). since people in my parents’ generation don’t realize that doing so unintentionally changes the way their words come across, they feel free to text “poorly” (ie with lots of errors/substitutions, generally mixing various text-flagged vocal tones in ways that are often incoherent) in order to do so more quickly (b/c lbr typing everything out can be a pain (esp on a non-smartphone), and since parents don’t do it as much, they’re not necessarily as fast as our spry young fingers on a familiar interface)

so yeah, that’s what i suspect is going on

tl;dr: parents don’t use orthography to mark vocal tone in the way youngfolk do, and thus feel free to condense their texts and otherwise use textspeak. youngfolk are using orthography to mark for tone, and thus text more “correctly” to preserve their social intentions


this is how they survive. they paint the world full of shadows and then tell their children to stay close to the light. their light. their reasons, their judgments.
because in the darkness, there be dragons.
but it isn’t t r u e.

“Today marks the day I return home to myself. That I begin the long journey that will be learning to trust in my own power again—to engage life, be light, and stand confidently in my own skin. And when I arrive, I will move gently through each dark, narrow room, and proudly draw back the curtains.”

- Beau TaplinD r a w  T h e  C u r t a i n s 

A day in the life of Sam's inbox, part two

11:35 AM: Hi baby bro i’m on my way home from the hunt r u at the motel?

12:01 PM: Sam u should really put those panties on that we bought last month ;)

12:05 PM: And maybe that plug u picked up back in NV

12:06 PM: The black one, just in case u were wondering

12:45 PM: I’m only texting when i am at a red light btw

12:52 PM: I miss u and can’t wait to see u cause i think u r so sexy

12:53 PM: Ok, that one was a little corny but it’s true

12:56 PM: I’m stopping at the store to get salad for u i know u like rabbit food

1:01 PM: I luv u Sammy, see ur cute ass soon

part one

My Favorite Albums of April 2017

My monthly lists of new albums I was feeling, and some other discoveries made during April.

My Previous lists: January, February, March


Bishop Briggs - EP
Genre: R&B / Soul / Pop

Proof: River, The Way I Do

Blackbear - digital druglord
Genre: alt-R&B

Proof: i miss the old u, chateau

Cashmere Cat - 9
Genre: Electronic / Synth-Pop

Proof: Wild Love (Feat. The Weeknd & Francis & the Lights), Quit (Feat. Ariana Grande)

Cold War Kids - LA DIVINE
Genre: Alternative / Indie Rock

Proof: Love Is Mystical, So Tied Up (Feat. Bishop Briggs)

DJ Quick & Problem - Rosecrans
Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: A New Nite / Rosecrans Groove, Funny How N****s Gon Change Things (Feat. MC Eiht & Suga Free)

Gorillaz - Humanz
Genre: Pop / R&B / Hip Hop

Proof: Andromeda (Feat. D.R.A.M.), Let Me Out (Feat. Mavis Staples & Pusha T)

Her - Tape #2 EP
Genre: Alternative / R&B

Proof: Blossom Roses, Swim (Feat. Zefire)

Jacob Banks - The Boy Who Cried Freedom EP
Genre: R&B / Soul / Blues

Proof: Chainsmoking, Unholy War

JMSN - Whatever Makes U Happy
Genre: R&B / Soul

Proof: Drinkin’, Where Do U Go 

Genre: Hip Hop


Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.
Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: DNA., LOVE. (Feat. Zacari)

October London - Color Blind: Hate & Happiness EP
Genre: R&B / Soul

Proof: Dramatic, Somebody’s Getting My Love

Overcoats - Young
Genre: Indie / Synth-Pop

Proof: Leave The Light On, Nighttime Hunger

Sevdaliza - ISON
Genre: Synth-Pop / R&B / Electronica

Proof: Marilyn Monroe, Hero

Tinie Tempah - Youth
Genre: Hip Hop

Proof: Texts From Your Ex (Feat. Tinashe), Girls Like (Feat. Zara Larsson)

Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Revival
Genre: Alternative / Indie

Proof: Whispers, Killing Me To Love You


Previous albums I discovered (or just finally got around to listening to) this month

Code Green - 7 Day Trip
Genre: Hip Hop / R&B
Released November 2016

Proof: Too Silly, Luv and Vibe

Passion Pit - Tremendous Sea Of Love
Genre: Synth-Pop
Released March 2017

Proof: Hey K, The Undertow

Penthouse Penthouse & Bobby Saint - Uploaded EP
Genre: R&B / Soul / Electronic
Released June 2016

Proof: 69 Camaro, Saved / Forever

October London - Color Blind: Love EP
Genre: R&B / Soul
Released October 2016

Proof: Shoulder To Lean On, Slow Dance

The-Dream - Genesis
Genre: alt-R&B
Released on TIDAL January 2016/Everywhere Else March 2017

Proof: Virtuous (Feat. Wiz Khalifa), Level


Alexandra Savior - Belladonna of Sadness, Allen Kingdom - LinesAlthea - Cold Thoughts EP, Amp Live - Atmosphere EP, Amir Obé - None of the Clocks Work EP, ANE - Bitan EP, Anik Khan - Kites EP, Aye Nako - Silver Haze, The Chainsomkers - Memories…Do Not Open, ELHAE - AURA II, Eric Bellinger - Cannabliss EP, Father John Misty - Pure Comedy, Feist - Pleasure, Flume - Skin: The Remixes, Future Islands - The Far FieldThe Gold Setting - Volume and Tone EP, IAMSU! - Boss Up 2 [Mixtape], Incubus - 8, Jessie Reyez - Kiddo EP, John Mayer - The Search For Everything, K.Flay - Everywhere Is Somewhere, Kweku Collins - grey EP, Little Dragon - Season High, Mary J. Blige - Strength of a Woman, Mila J - Dopamine, Nappy Roots - Another 40 Akerz, Nef The Pharaoh - The Chang ProjectThe New Pornographers - Whiteout ConditionsNJOMZA - sad for you, Saudin - Before I Met You EP, Shamir - Hope, Talib Kweli & Styles P - The Seven, Trombone Shorty - Parking Lot Symphony, Wale - SHINE

Not Feeling:

COIN - How Will You Know If You Never Try, Young M.A. - Herstory EP

rent [movie] summarized
  • seasons of love: ooooh THATS what this song is from !
  • rent: apparently these ppl don't understand paying rent is part of fucking life? but okay?
  • you'll see: boi u beTrAyed Usss now we gotta pay rent, which is part of life but we don't wanna do it !1!1!
  • one song glory: Rodger just can't write one fucking song and it's pathetic
  • light my candle: k r they really talking about candles ??
  • today 4 u: angel is perfection and she is too good for this world you can't argue with me on this she's adorable and this song is adorable fight me
  • tango maureen: so joanne + mark are just like incapable of understanding maureen is an independent bisexual woman so their bitch ass complains
  • life support: u can do dis bby u got aids but u ok bby I believe in u
  • out tonight: freaking hoe anthem this is the sOng to HOE TO stRip To ThiSss
  • another day: rodger has fuckin baggage and he's fucking rude tbh
  • will i: awe bby
  • santa fe: deadbeats can dream, can't we?
  • i'll cover you: collins and angel are too good for this movie they are literally perfect they don't deserve this
  • over the moon: whAt theE aCtUAl FuCK??????111111!!!!!!
  • la vie boheme: lIt
  • i should tell you: we both got issues but let's coMbINe our issues and date cause that's just sO healthy !!
  • la vie boheme b: lIt pt.2
  • seasons of love b: it's abt to go downhill kids
  • take me or leave me: apparently strong women who are naturally flirtatious and also bisexual NEED TO be like??? super careful and always cater to their overprotective lover???? but that's none of MY business :))
  • without you: idk man this is just depressing cause mimi is messed up and rodger isn't emotionally there enough to help her.
  • i'll cover you [reprise]: anGel ANd COllINs dId nOooT deSerVe ThIs !1!!/!- THESE Sfucking IDIOTS are out Living LIDE and being fucKin duMbassEs and aNGel, toO pure fOr tHis World, dIes iM fucKing dOne tHis is FuckEd UPPP
  • halloween: this is p sad i mean he's realizing things and it's almost been a year wow ??
  • goodbye love: i don't even know it's like they all hate themselves and everyone else they are all so fucked up I'm
  • what you own: this song is such a waste of time like rodger goes to santa fe then comes back all in one song it was such a waste I don't understand
  • finale a: mimi is dying whoops
  • your eyes: i finally did a thing but ur dying lol whOOps
  • finale b: aw jk I'm here for now but I'm lowkey abt to die ahaA we good fam we good
  • love heals: this whole fuckin musical is messed up but it's amazing bye
a summer playlist with everything you could ever want for every adventure you could ever go on
A playlist featuring The Chainsmokers, DJ Snake, Tep No, and others


Close My Eyes (Don Diablo Edit) - Corderoy
Drive - Jai Wolf
We Come - Boehm
Waiting For Love - Avicii 
Not That Simple (Kyle Tree Remix) - Mike Posner
Breathe - Seeb
California Dreamin (Calvo Remix) - Freischwimmer
Panama City Beach - Pink Slip
Capsize - Frenship
Summer - Marshmello
Is It Love - 3LAU
Silence - Don Diablo
Golden Light - Madden
Visions (Boehm Remix) - Cheat Codes
Realise (Two Can Remix) - Carmada
Show Me Love (EDX Remix/Radio Edit) - Sam Feldt
Waited Too Long - 90 Pounds of Pete
Say It - Flume
Chasin’ You (Extended) - Supermans Feinde
Marathon - Lost Kings
Freak - R3hab
Oasis - Kygo
Back In The Day - De Hofnar
Kings of Summer - ayokay 
Full Circle - Quinn XCII
Troubles - Imad Royal
Stargazing - Jus Jack
Where I Wanna Be - A R I Z O N A
Paradise (Boehm Remix) - Josef Salvat
Getting Away - Vindata
Raging - Kygo
Feel Good Inc. - filous
Colors (Sam Feldt Remix) - Halsey
I Wanna Know - Alesso
Darling - Said the Sky
Dancer (Kygo Remix) - Didrik Thulin
I Got U - Duke Dumont
Give It Up - Jack Wins
Serious - Kygo
Weekend - Mac Miller, Miguel
LA Confidential - Tory Lanez
9 - Drake
I’m Ready - Skizzy Mars
Round Whippin - A.CHAL
Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap
Loud Pipes - Ratatat 
Your Soul - Hippie Sabotage
Always (Wave Racer Remix) - Panama
Too Good - Drake
Inside Out - The Chainsmokers
Dream - Autograf 
Nothing Left - Kygo
Coming Over (filous Remix) - Hersey
Flame (Roosevelt Remix) - Sundara Karma
Water - Ra Ra Riot
How Hard I Try - filous
Hiding - San Holo
Sleepless (Radio Edit) - CAZZETTE 
Feel So Close (Radio Edit) - Calvin Harris (shoutout 2012)
Isla (Aevion Remix) - Felon
Talk To Me - Rainer + Grimm
Ocean Drive - Duke Dumont
Roses (King Arthur Remix) - The Chainsmokers
It Isn’t Mine - Slaptop
Burn Fast (Louis Vivet Remix) - Bryce Fox
Beautiful Heartbeat (Deorro Remix) - MORTEN
Emotional - Flux Pavilion
Without You (Vindata Remix) - ODESZA
Insane - Flume
Cocaine Model - Zhu
Free My Mind (RAC Remix) - Katie Herzig
People - Kav Verhouser
Alcoholics - Skizzy Mars
High You Are (Branchez Remix) - What So Not
Never Be Like You - Flume
Sun Models - ODESZA
Gemini (Ekali Remix) - What So Not
Bob Marley - Grizfolk
Say a Prayer for Me - RUFUS DU SOL
Closer Than This - St. Lucia
I’m In Love - Kygo
Turn Me On - ID
Show Me - Marc E. Bassy
Girls Like U - Blackbear
Change Up - Yung Jules
Throwback (feat. Bueller) - Ashton Harris
Ego - Tove Stryke
Real Love (The Chainsmokers Remix) - Clean Bandit
What You Waiting For - Gazzo
Maybe - Carmada
With You (Daniel Richard Remix) - Jupiter Project
Middle - DJ Snake
Tropic Love - The Diviners
Addicted To You - Avicii
Atmosphere - Kaskade
If Only (Remix) - PatrickReza
Want U 2 (Marshmello & Slushii Remix) - Marshmello
Hold On, We’re Going Home - Drake
Lay It All on Me - Rudimental
Like An Animal - RUFUS DU SOL
Just - Couzare
Magnets (SG Lewis Remix) - Disclosure
Here For You - Kygo
Warm - SG Lewis
Wicked Games - Parra for Cuva
Bad, Bad, Bad (Matt DiMona Remix) - LANY
HyperParadise (Flume Remix GANZ FLIP) - Hermitude
White Lies - ODESZA
Music In You - Sebastien 
Together As One (Radio Edit) - Dropgun
From Me to You - Yolanda Be Cool
Basically, I - Robert Delong
Care - R3hab
Alone - Marshmello
Sleep, For The Weak! (Lost Frequencies Remix) - Lea Rue
New York City - The Chainsmokers
Feeling Right - Matoma
Chemistry - Rawch
No Role Modelz - J. Cole
My Love For You (Radio Edit) - RAI
Running Out - Matoma
Once in a While - Timeflies
Oceans - tyDI
Lush Life - Zara Larsson
Metaphysical - Autograf
In The Morning - Zhu
Able to See Me - Hippie Sabotage
Lana Del Dre - Tep No
The Way You Want Me - Lucky Rose
Count On You - Autoerotique
With You - Embody
Drunk & I’m Drunk - Marc E. Bassy
Payday - Derek Pope
ILYSB - Lany
Drama (feat. Drake) - Roy Woods
Genghis Khan (Louis The Child Remix) - Miike Snow
When To Love You - Andrew Luce
Stay - Kygo
Borderline (Vanic Remix) - Tove Stryke
Until You Were Gone (Boehm Remix) - The Chainsmokers
Faded - Alan Walker
Takes My Body Higher - Shoffy
Can’t Have (Ape Drums Remix) - Steven A. Clark
Ocean Drive (Shaun Frank Remix) - Duke Dumont
Fragile - Kygo
In The Arms Of A Stranger (Brian Keirulf Remix) - Mike Posner
Thunder Clatter - Wild Cub
Wild Sun - The Strumbellas
Night Dive - Mount Dreams
I Don’t Care - LANY
More - Jan Blomqvist
Thankful - Feki 
+ more to be added! 

photo isn’t mine obviously

Workspace Part 6

A/N: So, as always I am very very very late on posting this. It was 7 pages in google docs. It’s 4 in the morning and have proof read this once. I don’t think I need to say it but I will anyways. There’s probably lots of typos. I’m not sure where I was going with this but the next part more than likely will be the last. We shall see. Lastly, this Dave gif thoughhhhh !

Warning: Rough and Unprotected sex. (NSFW 18+)

Originally posted by dylanobriengirl

My hands tangle and twist in his hair as he pounds into me. He’s holding me up, a hand under each leg, as I’m pressed against the wall. Our breathing feels the room and it’s making it warmer than it was a few minutes ago. His khakis are pooled at his feet, his belt clattering with each thrust of his hips. The sound of fabric rubbing against fabric in an almost teasing motion was turning the both of us on like crazy. Stiles nips and kisses up my neck stopping at me ear.

“Come.” He growls the words as he takes my earlobe between his teeth.

I let out a breathy moan as I come, my walls tightening around him.

His thrusts have since become sloppy and I know his release is eminate. I’m proven right when I feel hot liquid fill me.

It’s been like this since that night in the copy room. First, it was make out seshs on our breaks and slight touches underneath tables at lunch. But it quickly turned into fucking in empty offices and more often than not the utility closet.

Which is where we find ourselves currently. I’m flattening out my skirt, which I’ve since been wearing more of almost daily now because of our little rendezvous, and Stiles it tying a knot in the condom that he then slips in his pocket. I walk to the door and crack it open just far enough so I can see through into the hall without being seen. The coast seems clear and I look over my shoulder to tell Stiles. I catch him with his head cocked to the side staring at my ass. He quickly looks at me when I clear my throat to grab his attention, and he’s sure to meet my eyes. I laugh and shake my head.

What a horn-dog.

“You coming or are you going to keep staring at my ass?” I scold but there’s humor in my tone.

He rubs the back of his neck with his hand and blushes, but retorts with his usual wit.

“I’ll take both.”

I laugh.”Maybe tonight, Stilinski.”

I glance out the door once more to insure no one is coming. Work proved to be not enough for the both of us. Eventually, we started making late night trips to each other’s house.

Let me clarify:

  1. Stiles and I are not a thing.
  2. We just do things.
  3. That’s how I want it.

I mean I think…

No I do.

“Uh, I can’t tonight.” He says an angst in his voice. This is new, without out fail one of us ends up at the others house for a booty call. We don’t stay. Just get what we want and go.

I’m not sure what to say so I settle for, “Oh.”

I can’t be mad at him, and I’m not. Mostly, I’m disappointed. Sometimes after we’ve fucked, we’ll lay in bed and talk.

Just talk

About random things.

It’s nice to have that with someone.

He hasn’t met my gaze, and I look out the door a final time still speechless. I open the door and exit into the empty hallway. I start walking, and wait to hear the familiar sound of the utility room door opening behind me. Up a head, someone turns the corner and I swallow hard. I know they won’t expect anything from me, but it might look suspicious for Stiles.

I quicken my pace eager to catch the new comer and distract them knowing any second Stiles would emerge.

Finally catching them I see its Brielle. Big boobs and all.

“Hey Bri.” I smile as I walk past her and turn so she has to do a 180 with her back to the door Stiles will be at.

“Hey Y/N.” She squeaks. Her voice is small and mouse-y.

It’s so annoying.

“Uhhhh, what’s up?” I see Stiles walking to into the hallway.

“Nothing, I was just looking for…” She looks over her shoulder hearing approaching footsteps behind her.

“Stiles!” She grins wildly. He nods to her and to my surprise stops and joins our conversation. I crinkle my brows. There’s an awkward silence and no one is talking.

“Well, I’ve got loads to do.” I say jabbing my thumb over my shoulder.

“Kay, see ya.” She’s not even looking at me, only at Stiles. I narrow my eyes at him wondering why he’s not said anything. I leave the pair there in the hall and round the corner just up ahead.

“I’m so excited for tonight!” I hear Bri almost shriek. I freeze for a second then quickly press my back to the wall close to the corner, eavesdropping.

“Yeah, it should be fun.” Stiles says with a weird tone to his voice. I peek around over the side to see them. Bri has her arms strung around Stiles’s waist, while his rest on her shoulders. A small smile adorns his lips.

My stomach drops.

I clench my teeth hard and I feel my breathing shallow.

“I’ll make it fun.” Her voice comes out low and with a seductive twist in her words.

He chuckles. “I don’t doubt that.”

“Maybe I can give you a sneak peak,” she teases as she pulls him towards the room we recently occupied. And he follows her, shutting the door with a click behind them.

Text Message from Stiles (;

What r u doing?

Sent 11:12pm

That was the fifth text message I’ve gotten from him tonight. My stomach dipped for what seemed like the millionth time that day and I turned my phone face down on the coffee table. I grabbed my glass of wine in its place and sat back sinking further into my couch. I was not prepared for what I saw earlier today and I was thoroughly confused. I wanted one night away from all of it, which included Stiles.

I had finished the bottle before I realized it was raining. It was a light storm, with hints of thunder. I felt the definite dizziness in my head from too much wine, but also freedom. I stood from my perch on the couch and sauntered to the kitchen to uncork another bottle of the blood red liquid that’d become my therapist in the last few hours. But as I started sipping, an overwhelming feeling of dread rocked me. 

Stiles is playing me.

I don’t know if Brielle is his other booty call or something else, but I’ve been played for a fool.

“I’m so stupid.” I whisper aloud to myself.

How could I have let this happen. I knew that night I found that picture in Martha’s office that it wasn’t right. But I brushed it off as them being childhood friends or something. Plus, fucking on Martha’s desk was hot as….

“Focus,” I curse.

I set my glass back on the counter and rub my face in frustration. I hear my phone buzzing against the hardwood of the coffee table in the other room. But I know who it is, and I don’t want to talk to him right now. I’m exhausted and confused and I just want to sleep. I head to my bedroom leaving my phone where it lay. I plop face first on my bed, not even bothering to pull down the covers and sheets. I’d already changed into my pajamas, a pair of blue and white polka dotted sleep shorts and a white camisole (no bra), earlier when I got home.

As I lay there slowly drifting to sleep my mind runs through the events that have played out in the last months and half, good and bad. Softly, it lulls me into a deep drunken sleep.

Pounding. That’s what I feel. I clutch my head in attempt to subdue it. It’s hurts so bad it, the pain is almost audible. 

Then it stops. 

My head still aches but there’s no longer the loud banging I associated with my headache. My eyes flutter open with great effort and I’m disoriented. I’m unsure for a moment where I am. The pounding starts again, and it resonates in my head. I realize the pounding is coming from my front door. It’s loud and hard. I sit up slowly and look for my phone as I get off the bed. I can’t find it, so I don’t know what time it is. The pounding persists, then stops, before starting up again.

“I’m coming.” I groan slothily walking to the door. The pounder either doesn’t hear me or the promise of my presences isn’t good enough because they continue.

“I’m coming!” I say again adding a little bass to my voice. I’m in my living room now, still unable to move any faster because of my headache. The pounding continues and my blood boils. I rush over to the door ignoring the pain in my head and rip open the door.

“What?” I growl.

And there he is. Standing on the other side of the door soaking wet and look of pure concern on his face.

Stiles fucking Stilinksi.

“What?” I ask again the same menus in my voice. The rain is coming down hard making him impossibly more wet. I don’t offer him in. He stays silent a half bewildered look on his face. The other half I can’t tell.

“Can I help you with something?” I ask adding as much bit in my words that I can muster.

“What the hell?” He says finally. I know what he’s asking but I play dumb.


“I’ve been trying to talk to you all day!” He snaps. My nerves are alive but I’m push them down.


“What the hell is your problem?” He ask venomously.

“I don’t know, but maybe Bri knows.” I shot back.

He stops and a scared look crosses his face. He searching my face but I’m not sure for what.

“Y/N.” He starts.

“Save it.” I interrupt him before he can even begin to give some half-assed excuse.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on, or what fucking game you’re playing but I want no part of it.”

“Y/N, I-”

“I don’t care, Stiles!” I shout and I don’t care about the neighbors hearing.

“Just leave me the fuck alone and go be fuck buddies with big boob Bri.”

He looks like he’s going to respond but I shut the door in his face before he can. I lock it, and press my back to the door.

“Y/N” he says again then bangs on the door only once.

I stand there holding myself and the backs of my eyes start to prickle. But I won’t allow myself to cry. Not over him. Not when we were nothing. Ever since the day that I met him, he’s been a pain in my side. I think we both surprised each other when this…I don’t know relationship? No. When it all started. We just let out our pent up aggression out on each other with sex. All the other little things, the things that made this really hard like the late night convos or the secret touches. That was all made up at meaning something in my own head.

I hear my phone buzzing and looking around the room for it. I find it face down on the coffee table and I vaguely remember putting it there. I look at the caller ID, it’s him.

“Hello.” I answer without another thought.

“Let me explain.”

“No.” I respond simply.

“Baby…” He whispers into the receiver.

My stomach does at least eight somersaults at the sound of the nickname. I don’t say anything, because honestly I have nothing to say. He’s caught me off guard.

“Baby, are you still there?”

“Okay.” I say.

“I’m still out here.”

I walk over to the door, turn the deadbolt and open it. He’s standing there like he was before. Soaked to the bone and sexy ass hell. His clothes a clinging to his body in all the right places and I feel wetness forming in my core. His eyes are on mine a darkness in them. He walks forward entering my house and I step back not wavering out gaze. He shuts the door behind him without looking away and we stand there facing one another. The sexual tension between us is increasing by the second and I’m starting to wonder why I’m not riding him right now. I catch his eyes flicker to my lips and back. I smirk at him, and his tongue slides over his bottom lip slowly.

“You’re all wet.” I tell him because I’m not sure what to say.

“So are you.” He retorts stepping closer to me. I don’t move and soon our bodies are almost touching.

“I thought you wanted to talk.” I swallow hard.

He cocks an eyebrow at me. “You want to talk?”

I’m speechless again.

“Okay.” He smirks. “Let’s talk.” He places his hands on my waist and my knees weaken.

“You first.” He prompts.

“Um, well-ahhhh.” I moan as he plants wet kisses along my neck.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” He mutters against me.

“I uh want you to,” I’m distracted as his hands slide up my body and rest on my camisole covered breast. I groan at his touch and I can’t take it anymore. I smash my lips into his, our teeth clash but I don’t care. I’m hungry for him, for a release. I want to loose myself in him. I fumble with the button of his wet jeans, and I’m all fingers and thumbs as I rid him of them with his help. He kicks them aside and he’s wearing only boxers and a wet shirt. I fall to my knees and dip my fingers into his waistband then pull the off too. He’s already hard and his erection is standing at attention. He watches as I kiss his tip tentatively, letting a small hiss escape him. I open my mouth preparing to take him in when he forces himself past my lips and to the back of my throat. I gasp and gag at the same time grabbing his thighs for support.

“You said you didn’t want to play games, baby.” He teased as he slid himself out again slowly. He grabs all my hair in a makeshift ponytail and begins fucking my mouth. Gently at first only going further into my mouth occasionally. But as he gets closer to a release he’s more forcefully. His cock practically living in the back of my throat. Suddenly, he pulls out yanking my head back by my hair away from him. He bends down to kiss me and helps me up as he does so, his lips never leaving mine. I’ve missed his lips, they’re fervent and needy. His hands are wandering again, rubbing against my core, squeezing my waist, and pinching and pulling on my nipples through my top turning them into hard peaks. I am surprised it’s still on, but I eat my words when he forces the neckline of the camisole down exposing my breast causing me to in take a sharp breath. His mouth finds one of the hard peak while the other hand kneads the other breast. I’m groaning and whimpering, my hands roaming through his hair. We start moving backwards till we reach the back of the couch. He begins kissing me all over, my hand behind his head pushing him closer to me.

“Stiles.” I whimper as he’s sucking on my breast again. He’s teasing me and I don’t like it. “Stiles, please.”

He stops and looks at me, sneaking his hand past the waistband of my pajamas shorts.

“No panties?” He smiles making me blush.

“What do you need, baby?” He sounds innocent like the question is genuine.

“Stil-” I gasp throwing my head back as his finger slides down my strip.

“I’m sorry. What was that?” He smiles, and I feel his eyes on me.

He doesn’t give me time to answer as he starts rubbing circles and then figure eights into my clit, interchanging between pressures and motions.

“I uh, s-said to um. Oh my god.” I groan, his rhythm has increased sending a low burning in my belly.

“You’re not making any sense,” he chuckles playfully.

“Fuck Stiles!” I moan loudly.

“Oh,” he said stopping almost instantly at my words “That’s what you want?”

I’m confused at first, not understanding what he means. He spins me around so I am now facing the couch. He makes quick work of my shorts pulling them off and tossing them aside, leaving me clad in only my camisole that’s bunched around my waist. He presses his body against mine, his erection hard on my thigh.

“You want me to fuck you?” He whispered, and before I can even acknowledge the question he comes down hard on my ass. I let out a cry in surprise. He lands another blow on the other cheek making me wetter.

“Is that you want baby?” He asks.

He’s never been like this before, so dominant. He’s in complete control and it’s turning me on more and more.

“Yes.” I breath.

“Good girl.” And he rewards me with another smack. He takes his shirt off adding it to the pile forming on the floor. He grips a hip with one hand, and presses me down into the couch with the other.

“Ready?” He asks, and I smile to myself then nod.

Without warning, he rams his cock into me making me cry out. He stills in me, but grazes his hand over my back.

“How do you want it, princess?”

“Don’t call me that!” I say, and he smacks my ass again.

“I’m going to ask you again. If you don’t answer, I’ll give it to you how I want it.” His tone is dark and hot as hell.

“How do you want it?” He repeats.

“However you want it, princess.” I retort.

I hear rather than see the smirk on his face. I know the face all too well and I picture it in my head, his lips turned down in a smile. Both hands are around my waist now and slowly he begins pumping inside me. I groan at the new sensation, but I become irritated with his speed.

“Faster, Stiles.” I whine.

“But you said how I want it princess. This is how I want it.” He chuckles.

I trying pushing against him to relieve the building heat inside me, but his fingers dig into my hips ensuring bruises.

“Please.” I beg.

“Please what?” he growls still continuing his slowly manner but adding a hard thrust here and there.

“Fuck me.” I say simply.

“I thought that’s what I was doing?” He grins.

I’m getting frustrated, and start squirming.

“Baby, please fuck me.” I whine.

“As you wish, princess.” His words sending waves of need through me.

He starts thrusting faster into me. It’s easy at first but begins to quicken. He’s pounding into me harder and harder, making me let out incoherent versions of his name. The familiar feeling of my orgasm is returning inside me.

“Godddamn, you’re wet.” He grunts slapping my ass again.

I moan this time the blow inching me closer to my edge. He snakes one of the hands that on my waist to my core and begins assaulting it by rubbing fervent circles. I can’t hold on much longer the combination of his thrusts and his fingers doing a number on me.

“Come all over me, baby.” He growls giving me all I need to let go and catapult over my edge hitting my high. My walls tighten around him but he doesn’t relent on his pace. If possible, he becomes even faster. I’m surprised that even though I’ve already came, I can feel the coil in my stomach winding again. He grabs a hold of my hair pulling me against him. We’re both standing and still he’s pounding into me.

“You feel that?” He whispers in my ear. “You feel my dick throbbing?” I do, it throbbing and twitching inside me and I know he’ll come any second. The thought arouses me more then i realize and again I’ve found my high just as Stiles releases hot liquid inside of me.

We’re sprawled out on my bed, having just finished round two. Or was it round three? My eyes are closed, and stiles it tracing patterns on my stomach with his fingers. I think is around midnight, which is a guesstimate based on Stiles telling me earlier that he came over around 10. He’ll be leaving soon, it’s our usual routine. I don’t want him to go, for several reasons. If I’m honest the main one being that I just want him here. But I also know we need to talk about Bri and that whole shit show. Stiles laces his arm over me, and we lay like that for awhile. I know any second he’ll get up so if I want answers I have to get them now.

“Stiles?” I say in my sweetest voice.

He says nothing. I frown and look over at him. He’s laying next to me inches from my shoulder. I can feel him breathing softly against me. He’s featured are soft and slack, clear signs of a blissful sleeper. I smile at him, even though I know he can’t see me.

“Stiles?” I coo again stroking the side of his face.

He hums in response.

“It’s a little past twelve.”

He hums again acknowledging what I’ve said.

“Are you leaving?” I ask a little hopeful he may say.


My heart sinks.

“Well you better get up.” I giggle.

He opens his eyes only half way at me. He looks into my eyes with such intense gaze I have to look away. He pulls my face back to him with his fingers and when I am he brushes his thumb over my lips.

“Can I stay?” He asks. My stomach leaps and my heartbeat quickens.

“Y-yeah.” I stutter. “ if you want.”

About me

Rules: You we’re tagged to answer the questionare to get to know you better. After you answer, tag 20 of your followers. And the cicle goes on.

Name: Maja
Nickname: Maychi (loving name from a few of my friends)
Zodiac Sign: Libra
Height: 170 cm
Ethnicity: White
Orientation: uh…pacifist? (i never labeled myslef)
Favorite Fruit(s): strawberies, melon, watermelon, lime, banana ^^ (all the sweet stuff)
Favorite Season: spring/summer (may/june) :P
Favorite Book(s): The guardians of childhood, The little prince, What do you know about love, Beatrix Potters collection of fairytales
Favorite Flower(s): pink/white rose
Favorite Animal(s): butterfly
Favorite Beverage: chocolate milkshake
Average Hours of Sleep: 8
Favorite Fictional Characters: Jack Forst, Rapunzel, Howl
Number of Blankets You Sleep with: 1 main one and 1 extra for chilly nights :)
Dream Trip: Ireland, France, India, Brazil, Netherlands (a lot actualy, just travel the world maybe ^^)
Number of Followers: 360 at the moment (at my art blog), the other blog has about 50

A- age: 19
B- birthplace: Ljubljana
C- current time: 12:15
D- drink you last drank: milk
E- easiest person to talk to: my sister ^^
F- favorite song: Hot air ballon- Owl city
G- grossest memory: i normaly keep away from gross things, but one time there was a movie in wich a farmer went with his truck across a what seemed a dead body and when he run over it, the skin came off!!! >.< I am one of the sensitive people, and i can’t watch gross things or horror movies, i end up with horible nightmares and can’t sleep for the whole night.
H- horror yes or no? Naaaaaaaa >.< 
I- in love? No, an itty bitty crush ^^
J- jealous of people? Nope, i don’t get jealous at anything, somehow it doesn’t come to me.
K- killed someone? Not a person…a dangerous bug maybe. The ones that are bad both for people and animals.
L- love at first sight or should i walk past again? I believe in it yes. :) But it didn’t happen to me yet. My parents have that kind of love. ^^
M- middle name: Ehh…um we don’t have middle names. Just first name and a surname.
N- number of siblings: 1 litttle sister, she’s 3 years younger than me ^^
O- one wish? To have the endless love like my parents ^^
P- person you last called? My friend from the prayer group. I had to know the location where we then played volleyball. :P
Q- question you’re always asked: How old are you? Answer: Um, 19. :P (i’m aksed this Quite often because i look about 4 years younger than i am)

R- reason to smile: I love my life and my family and friends: ^^
S- song you last sang: Fresh Eyes- Andy Grammer (listen to all sorts of songs all day and i sing a long most of the time) ^^
T- time you woke up: 9:00 (i don’t have annywhere to be, so i can wake up anytime i like) (this year only)
U- underwear color: white, beige, light pink
V- vacation: Italy- Assisi, Slovenia- all around, Grecce- Lefkas island ^^ Can’t wait
W- worst habit: nail biting when nervous
X- x-rays: um…no. I was never ever x-rayed or smthing. I never broke anything.
Y- your favourite food: ice cream :D

Ok, i finnished the whole thing exept i deleted the last question wich was aggain for the zodiac sign wich was already answered. :) I was tagged by @chai-chino.

I tag:

@jngarrettart @utsukushiishoujomangas @davinciblr @vanilla107 @yenthejoline @ninifuni-365 @adrichouu @sailorvenos @sotiredmostnights @daydreamsofdragons @ramzesgavot @buildingbooks @thebigcheese090@anipwrites @percyjacksonfans @beenfuckingcrazy @beyond2369 @0-esme-0 @grrawesomeness @candybunnieholic

❝ I just boost what it takes to survive.❞

R E S U R R E C T E D ||| a jason todd fanmix ||| l i s t e n

01. mercenary - panic! at the disco // 02. sinister kid - the black keys // 03. warriors - imagine dragons // 04. boulevard of broken dreams - green day // 05. in one ear - cage the elephant // 06. short change hero - the heavy // 07. 27 - fall out boy // 08. come with me now - kongos // 09. black sheep - gin wigmore // 10. afraid - the neighbourhood // 11. turn off the lights - panic! at the disco // 12. mama - my chemical romance // 13. i don’t care - fall out boy // 14. ain’t no rest for the wicked - cage the elephant // 15. the devil within - digital daggers // 16. bodies - drowning pool // 17. open wounds - skillet // 18. semi-automatic - twenty one pilots // 19. break - three days grace // 20. pumped up kicks - foster the people // 21. control - halsey // 22. misguided ghosts - paramore // 23. killing strangers - marilyn manson // 24. what makes a good man - the heavy // 25. drown - tyler joseph // 26. now - paramore // 27. sleeping sickness - city and colour // 28. know your enemy - rage against the machine

A: You’re Adorable

Characters: Dean x Reader, unnamed baby Winchester

Warnings: is daddy!dean a warning because there’s a lot of daddy!dean in this.

Word Count: 1,086

Prompt: Basically, I work in a daycare and spend all my time with infants so we play music a lot and this song has been stuck in my head. So here’s Dean singing it to his little girl. The song [x] if you want to follow along. In the fic, it’s slowed down tremendously to sound more like a lullaby. Enjoy the daddy!dean fluff. Feedback is much appreciated!

Originally posted by heytheredeann

Dean sat in the rocking chair in his baby girl’s nursery, swaying in the glider and gently bouncing the six pound two ounce baby. She was so small, Dean was convinced he would break her the first time he held her. But, the little girl fit perfectly in his arms and snuggled right into her fathers chest the moment he got his hands on her.

Now here he was, their first day home from the hospital, rocking his little girl back to sleep. It was failing, quite obviously. She had already been awake for an hour now and was staring up at him with wide newborn blue eyes. He was hoping they’d stay that way; after all, his mother did have blue eyes. 

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