we’re having a heatwave !! which is lovely because i love hot weather, but im bad at temperature adjustment and regulation which can be bad. i also know that lots of other autistics find hot weather sensory hell, so here r a few things that i find help:
- you dont Have to be in the sun all day. lots of people will say stuff tht makes u feel guilty about “wasting the good weather”, but they dont know how it affects u personally, so do whats best for u. if u wanna stay inside all day or never leave the shade, do it!! its better to b comfortable than anything else
- this goes doubly if u live in a place where u actually get aircon in non commercial buildings
- wear as few clothes as possible. sounds obvious, but youd be surprised at how much difference not having even one layer makes. if youre self conscious abt ur body, invest in some mesh or sheer clothing - its stylish, v thin and light, and will obscure ur form
- if u r wearing clothes, wet them !! this helps So Much its my fav tip. wetting a hat or pouring water down ur shirt cools u down a load, and can help u stay cool until it all evaporates. last year i managed to be the only one to mostly avoid heatstroke when hiking by doing this. having wet trousers/shorts is sensory hell for me, so i stick to just my shirt. if u cant cope w that, keep a damp cloth on u and put it on ur skin whenever u can
- drink A Lot. if ur thirsty, ur probably already dehydrated. dehydration can lead to feeling sick, headachy, and exasperates sensory issues (i usually burn out twice as often if im dehydrated). to avoid this, drink lots of water.
do u hate drinking water? yeah, me too. keeping a bottle full on u is good because its just There so u end up drinking it because its smth to do. alternately, drink lots of juice/iced tea/soda (fizzy drinks dehydrate u a bit, but theyre better than nothing!)
if u wanna rehydrate quickly, sports drinks r the way to go bc they replace electrolytes (cheap alternative: dissolve salt n sugar into water)
- crunch on ice !! it cools u down, it hydrates u, and u can Lov The Cronch
- dont get burnt: it leads to sunburn which is Sensory Hell, can give u heat stroke, and long term skin damage. do u hate sun cream? Me Too, but its better than sunburn. instead of the gross lotiony suncreams, u can get oil based ones (p20 is the brand here, idk if its international) which tend to b more expensive, but last a full 24hrs, feel non gloopy, and dont smell as strong
- sleep w just a bed sheet as covers bc its much cooler, but u still have the feeling of smth covering u
- ur feet r the most important for temp regulation , so keep them cool most importantly
- cold showers r great but also painful so a softer alternative is room temp showers bc theyll still cool u down without freezing ur various body parts off
- mope on the floor like 24/7 it doesnt exactly cool u down but it doesnt use much energy n its perfect for that summery sluggishness. fav activity 10/10 would recommend
Today marks the day I return home to myself. That I begin the long journey that will be learning to trust in my own power again—to engage life, be light, and stand confidently in my own skin. And when I arrive, I will move gently through each dark, narrow room. And proudly draw back the curtains.
life has gone to shit in the past few weeks and so i decided to start waking up early and taking charge of my life. it’s going ok so far. i am a night owl, though, soooo listen to me my tips work y’all
getting ur sleep hours
okok so iK that this is not always possible n u stay up late doing crap for school or smthing BUT
waking up early becomes so much better and easier and calmer when u get ur hours ok
find out how many hours u need (varies from person to person; me it’s 8 hours which kills me bc so much frigggging time)
depending on what time u want to wake up at, calculate it backwards and this new hour is ur hour that u absolutely cannot stay up past*
(* unless u absolutely absolutely have to. i understand that sometimes u just have too much stuff to do and u gta get it done. so in that case u would have to go to sleep as early as u can - meaning after ur deadline has passed, u focus focus focus n don’t do shenanigans.)
the idea here is u want a routine ok bc ur body likes routines ur brain likes routines and eventually it’ll wake up naturally at the time
this can either go both ways, whatever works 4 u:
make it RLLY RLLY shrilly n hella annoying that u hate it and u go and turn it off
warning: this can backfire bc u just turn it off and don’t actually wake up
or u make it like soft and happy and pretty
warning: similarly this can backfire bc u r still sleepy bc soft and happy and pretty
either way!!!!!!!DO NOT HIT THE SNOOZE
u made the promise to urself to wake up early, honour it. don’t be a shitty person who can’t keep their word. (look @ me guilting u)
some ppl like their alarms far but i don’t have enough self control for that lol like my alarm is my phone n getting out of bed b4 sleep to put my phone across the room eh
ur awake. now what?
ur probably still sleepy af bc ur a sleep-deprived person who would ideally be sleeping but u persevere my friend
ok first thing u do is get out of bed bc the bed is ur enemy and it distracts u ok it sucks!!!!!!!!!
couple things to stay awake:
in the winter especially i blast light in my face 2 tell my brain “yooo it’s like the day now can u wake the hell up” and then serotonin comes in and it’s like “yooo ty”
wash my face w/cooold (diduthinkiwasgnasaycool) water bc that wakes u up !!! if u’ve ever been woken up w/water!!! yes it works !!!
some ppl r like exercise but be warned: this only works if ur body is somewhat used 2 exercise like mine is not and so exercising in the morning just makes me tired tbh
stimulate ur mind ya ok some ppl r against electronics in the morning but idk watching a funny vid or smthing cheers me up a lot (laughing!!! important)
bc we r humans driven by desires i make like a nice breakfast that i like w/like fruits and like good things and it makes me feeling nice n it’s usually rlly tasty
things i like to eat: berry smoothies, burrito wraps, congee, dates lol i’m obsessed w/dates rn
sometimes i also plan my outfit n i’m like yooooooo i look so good and it gets me feeling rl nice
i also have a short impromptu dance party bc like i can afford it w/the time i have now like i don’t listen to music that much anymore :( but now i have a special time to dedicate to music and dance and it’s gr8
pls persevere; habits r not made overnight n u will miss some days n it will be totally ok
sunrises r nice to actually see and it’s x108908394 easier in the winter bc later sunrise time soooo js
my best friend just texted me “can we nap together tmrw” and that pretty much sums us up idk why that’s relevant but s.o. to him !!!
i rlly want a burrito rn
ur a superstar u can do it also wtf is sleep who needs that???
re: how teens and adults text, I would be super interested for you to explain your theory!
ok SO. a lot of this comes from various stuff i’ve seen on the linguistics of tumblr, but at the heart of it is that people in my generation (at least in the us; idk abt other countries’ timelines on this front) went thru (or are still going thru) our Formative Social Years in an environment where we’d regularly interact with even our closest friends on text-only platforms (whether texting or gchat or fb messages or w/e), and b/c so much linguistic/social information is actually conveyed by facial expression and tone of voice, we’ve collectively made up all of these textual ways of conveying that in a concise, efficient way
so like, sometimes on this blog i’ll talk about “straight people”, and sometimes i’ll talk about “str8 ppl”, and even tho i would pronounce those the same, the first is much more neutral — it would probably happen in the context like “i’m not sure how i feel about straight people writing stories that center around experiences of homophobia” — than the second, which which is much more frustrated/venting — it would be more likely to crop up in the context of “all i want is to live quietly in my little queer utopia but no str8 ppl have to come along and heteronomativity UGH #over it #whatever #NOT RLLY OVER IT”. or even with more subtle things like end punctuation: “i’m not going” basically just means i’m not currently planning to go to the thing; “i’m not going.” carries much more of a connotation of “i have seriously considered going and have Reasons for staying at home” (and note that capital — “i have Reasons for staying at home” feels different than “i have reasons for staying at home”). (and this isn’t even getting into things like shitposting or advanced memeology, but there are specific textual markers that go with things like that, some of which would be pronounced if you read them aloud, but many of which wouldn’t be)
but, crucially, for these kinds of things to carry meaning, they have to be used consistently: if i use “str8 ppl” and “straight people” interchangeably in all contexts (as i do for something like “the supreme court” vs “scotus”), then there’s no way to develop a distinction in meaning between the two — the only way to do that is to consistently use the different orthographies in different contexts. (to take another example: if something is “great”, then it’s solidly good. if something is “gr8”, it’s more in the land of “i can’t quite believe this is as earnest/tacky/tasteless as it is but i’m weirdly into it anyway?” (sometimes with a side helping of “do i just enjoy this ironically or do i genuinely enjoy it there is no way of knowing please send help”))
the upshot of this is that to be fluent in tumblr (or texting, or fb messenger, or w/e) means to actually be paying a lot of attention to subtle points of grammar and spelling, to know when to use “did u kno” or “ur” or even pull out an old-fashioned tip of the hat to “e733T haxxor 5killz”. most of these are very subtle distinctions, the kind of things you feel intuitively rather than write out explicitly, and so it’s very hard to convey them concisely and accurately to someone who’s not already immersed in the linguistic environment
and let’s be real, people in my parents’ generation aren’t. i mean, sure, many of them have facebook accounts, but these kinds of platforms weren’t around when they were in their “really getting to grips with social interaction” years, and their most important social interactions usually don’t take place exclusively online. for me, all of my closest friends are people i’ve only interacted with online for more than a year now (with a few brief face-to-face visits when various travel arrangements have allowed), so tumblr, facebook, and gchat are absolutely critical to my social life and interpersonal interactions; for my parents, their closest friends are people they see in person at work every day, so social media is a light overlay to their social lives, not the thrumming core
as such, my parents don’t grok these distinctions. to them “what are you doing?” means the same thing as “lol wut r u doing”; “gr8” is just like “great” (and “gr9” takes some parsing … ); dogespeak doesn’t have the same distinctive valence that it does to us. since they don’t know about these distinctions, they don’t feel the need to maintain more “proper” spelling/grammar when texting with a friend — different people have different set points for this, obvs, but in general i feel like “standard (setting aside all the class and racial implications in that term …) spelling and grammar” (with lighter-than-standard punctuation and capitalization) translates to “relatively neutral/pleasant conversational voice”, and then deliberate misspellings, abbreviations, letter substitutions, and grammar deviations are markers used to indicate shifts in mood — i have a vague sense that bitterness tends to collapse down and preserve grammar but weird spelling (“lyk w/e im happy 4 u but pls, i kno u lied 2 get that”) whereas enthusiasm tends to preserve spelling but weird grammar (“what i can’t even no how do air AMAZE”). since people in my parents’ generation don’t realize that doing so unintentionally changes the way their words come across, they feel free to text “poorly” (ie with lots of errors/substitutions, generally mixing various text-flagged vocal tones in ways that are often incoherent) in order to do so more quickly (b/c lbr typing everything out can be a pain (esp on a non-smartphone), and since parents don’t do it as much, they’re not necessarily as fast as our spry young fingers on a familiar interface)
so yeah, that’s what i suspect is going on
tl;dr: parents don’t use orthography to mark vocal tone in the way youngfolk do, and thus feel free to condense their texts and otherwise use textspeak. youngfolk are using orthography to mark for tone, and thus text more “correctly” to preserve their social intentions
i miss nct u so much o h my goD but i love the way you write for nct and just generally any idol you know n love well also i love when you mention ten. the enemies to lovers trope is one of my favorite tropes; could you write one for ten? bless ur beautiful soul i hope all of your days r blessed with the light of your soul
i miss ten too,,,,,where is he,,,,,,,
where ten teaches theater and you teach advanced physics and the lab is right across from the theater room so every now and then when you’re teaching a lesson you hear someones “acting” through the walls
and you have to stop the lesson to go over and be like AHEM mr. chittaphon KEEP IT DOWN
he always smiles sweetly and says he’ll do it, but when you turn around you can hear the students snickering probably because he’s making a face @ your back
but also when you’re both alone in the teachers lounge he’ll put his hand on the coffee maker before you can and be like
“stop embarrassing me in front of my students.”
and you’re like “stop having your students act out loud scenes when lab is going on”
and ten is like do YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THIS IS THEATER
you’re like DO YOU NOT GET PHYSICS ???? MATH??? SILENCE AND EQUATIONS???
ten just narrows his eyes,,,hands on his hips and murmurs that no one even uses physics in real life
and you’re like are you kidding me come back here and say that to my face you theater major-
,,,,,long story short you guys argue about whose subject really matters and ten is like more students think he’s a COOLER teacher than you
and you’re like hahahah surE they do that’s why everyone is always in my office asking me about dark matter and the universe EXPLODING
everytime you get at each others neck,,,art teacher taeil and history teacher taeyong try to break it up while p.e. coach johnny just mass texts about it to the entire faculty
you two even got called in by the principal once because of an argument you had in the hall
leaving the office grumbling about whose fault is was and who started the fight first,,,,,,,
until you realize that a really big trip to the museum of science is short on chaperons,,,,,,and all of the teachers have classes or cant get subs,,,,,,,,except for,,,,,,,,,,,,,,mr.chittaphon
it takes you thirty minutes outside of the theater room to swallow your pride but once you’re in there you know you can’t take anything back
so,,,,walking over to where ten is sitting with a couple of boxes of costumes you clear your throat and the sour look on his face when he looks up already ticks you off
and he’s like “Yes?” and you’re like “,,,,,,,,,,,as you know tomorrow,,,,,,there’s a trip to the museum,,,,,,,-”
“the museum of science?”
you bite back you’re tongue and you’re like yes,,,,,,the museum of science,,,,,,
with ,,,,,,,,,what looks like the biggest grin in the world ten rises up to his feet and is like “you need me to chaperone, don’t you?”
you almost say no just because of how annoyed you are but you nod slowly and try to force a smile
ten puts his hands in his pockets and like a smug teenager goes “ill do it, but,,,,,,,,,,,,there’s something i want.”
and you’re like god what is it is it some public stunt you want me to do to make fun of myself
and he’s like “no. i want you to act out a scene,,,,,,here,,,,,,,,for me.”
you blink,,,,,,,automatically answering “ten- i mean mr. chittaphon, im a physics teacher. a scientist. not an actor.”
and he’s like OH I KNOW but i want to see you try since theater is so “easy”
handing you a script that he seems to have pulled out of thin air he motions toward the empty stage
you grip the paper, but think about how you have to do this - for the students
and you get up on there, clearing your throat and gingerly reading the lines from what looks like pride and prejudice
cutting into your dull reading ten waves with his hands and he’s like “more emotion or ill just say i cant come into work tomorrow.”
you want to snap at him but you start reading again,,,,trying to add ‘feeling’ into elizabeth’s lines
when suddenly ten comes up on stage and shakes his head and is like “looks like i have to do it with you- ok from line 53-”
leaning in close,,,ten takes your hand and you jump a bit but you check the script and it is the ball scene and he asks “so what do you recommend to encourage affection?”
and you feel your mouth dry,,,but you manage the “d-dancing, even if one’s partner is- ba-barely tolerable”
before you can as much as blink, ten spins you around the stage, hand on your waist as he leads you in a clumsy waltz
and for a second you think he’s doing it to be funny but ,,,,, he’s also just a very good dancer
and as he leads you across the stage you can’t help but naturally let it happen
looking up into ten’s eyes,,,,,dark and glinting with something joyfully mysterious
up close you realize how golden his skin his,,,,,how his features are handsome ,,,,,,, even though you wouldn’t admit that aloud
and when the dance finishes, ten lets go of your hand and bows,,,,,,,only to let out a chuckle
and you get defensive telling him what was he thinking - dancing wasn’t part of the deal-
but ten just smiles and shrugs,,,,,, “i guess elizabeth was right, dancing does make my affections toward you a little better. ill be here tomorrow to chaperone.”
you look at him,,,,shocked,,,but also trying very hard to suppress the blush coming on because what affection,,,,why is he playing around
until ten jumps from the stage,,,,stretching his hand out to offer to help you down and when his hand wraps around your waist to steady you
your eyes locking again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it really
it really isn’t that bad,,,,,,
and in the silent theater you catch yourself looking at ten’s lips,,,,,,him staring back at you and it might just be gravity and the force of nature
but it feels like you’re both leaning in —-
until the door opens and a student calls out ten’s name and he practically drops you to hurry over and you dust yourself off and pass by like nothing happened
but,,,,,,uh,,,,,,,,something totally did happen hehe
S I R I U S + R E G U L U S The brightest stars in the sky
You are loved more than you know.
I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so.
Though your heart is far too young to realize
the unimaginable light you hold inside,
I’ll give you everything I have.
I’ll teach you everything I know.
I promise I’ll do better.
I will always hold you close.
Part 4 of ? of the “Art Trade (with capital letters)” (at this point I think that anyway we can say we kinda have a never ending art trade xD) with mah gurl @trashmuh ! ♥ She requested more Xalender and Muhren interactions, I wanted to work on lights. Cantina time ! Muh wish it was a date I suppose.
Alexandra Savior - Belladonna of Sadness,
Allen Kingdom - Lines, Althea - Cold Thoughts EP, Amp Live - Atmosphere EP, Amir Obé - None of the Clocks Work EP,
ANE - Bitan EP, Anik Khan - Kites EP,
Aye Nako - Silver Haze, The Chainsomkers - Memories…Do Not Open,
ELHAE - AURA II, Eric Bellinger - Cannabliss EP, Father John Misty - Pure Comedy,
Feist - Pleasure, Flume - Skin: The Remixes, Future Islands - The Far Field, The Gold Setting - Volume and Tone EP, IAMSU! - Boss Up 2 [Mixtape],
Incubus - 8,
Jessie Reyez - Kiddo EP, John Mayer - The Search For Everything,
K.Flay - Everywhere Is Somewhere,
Kweku Collins - grey EP, Little Dragon - Season High,
Mary J. Blige - Strength of a Woman, Mila J - Dopamine,
Nappy Roots - Another 40 Akerz,
Nef The Pharaoh - The Chang Project, The New Pornographers - Whiteout Conditions, NJOMZA - sad for you,
Saudin - Before I Met You EP,
Shamir - Hope, Talib Kweli & Styles P - The Seven,
Trombone Shorty - Parking Lot Symphony,
Wale - SHINE
COIN - How Will You Know If You Never Try,
Young M.A. - Herstory EP
seasons of love:
ooooh THATS what this song is from !
apparently these ppl don't understand paying rent is part of fucking life? but okay?
boi u beTrAyed Usss now we gotta pay rent, which is part of life but we don't wanna do it !1!1!
one song glory:
Rodger just can't write one fucking song and it's pathetic
light my candle:
k r they really talking about candles ??
today 4 u:
angel is perfection and she is too good for this world you can't argue with me on this she's adorable and this song is adorable fight me
so joanne + mark are just like incapable of understanding maureen is an independent bisexual woman so their bitch ass complains
u can do dis bby u got aids but u ok bby I believe in u
freaking hoe anthem this is the sOng to HOE TO stRip To ThiSss
rodger has fuckin baggage and he's fucking rude tbh
deadbeats can dream, can't we?
i'll cover you:
collins and angel are too good for this movie they are literally perfect they don't deserve this
over the moon:
whAt theE aCtUAl FuCK??????111111!!!!!!
la vie boheme:
i should tell you:
we both got issues but let's coMbINe our issues and date cause that's just sO healthy !!
la vie boheme b:
seasons of love b:
it's abt to go downhill kids
take me or leave me:
apparently strong women who are naturally flirtatious and also bisexual NEED TO be like??? super careful and always cater to their overprotective lover???? but that's none of MY business :))
idk man this is just depressing cause mimi is messed up and rodger isn't emotionally there enough to help her.
i'll cover you [reprise]:
anGel ANd COllINs dId nOooT deSerVe ThIs !1!!/!- THESE Sfucking IDIOTS are out Living LIDE and being fucKin duMbassEs and aNGel, toO pure fOr tHis World, dIes iM fucKing dOne tHis is FuckEd UPPP
this is p sad i mean he's realizing things and it's almost been a year wow ??
i don't even know it's like they all hate themselves and everyone else they are all so fucked up I'm
what you own:
this song is such a waste of time like rodger goes to santa fe then comes back all in one song it was such a waste I don't understand
mimi is dying whoops
i finally did a thing but ur dying lol whOOps
aw jk I'm here for now but I'm lowkey abt to die ahaA we good fam we good
this whole fuckin musical is messed up but it's amazing bye
this is how they survive. they paint the world full of shadows and then tell their children to stay close to the light. their light. their reasons, their judgments. because in the darkness, there be dragons. but it isn’t t r u e.
Hi :) reminder in light of recent events :)) do not out your friends :))) without their permission :))) if someone doesnt want other ppl to know theyre trans :)) or gay :)) or whatever :))) dont fuckin do it!!! you could literally ruin their lives!!! do not!! do it!!! and if someone ELSE outs them and ur there??? be a good human being :)) and tell them that they’re being a sack of shit and they have no right to comment on or about that persons personal life :)) and also u r allowed to add a ‘fuck you’ :)) thank u have a nice day i hate my entire life
GDI time to be sappy for a moment and i’m usually awful at these things but dear god
it’s been (wait one minute while i check my archivesd\ and count on my fingers) 5 months since i entered this community, and in those 5 months i met the sweetest kindest and nurturing people ever ?! i started out with the modest motivation of improving my art and practicing stylization but what i found was such a loving and adorable community. i really haven’t had this much of a blast in a community/fandom/mob in terest(??) in forever !!! so, to quote our founding forefathers here’s to hoping for more good days 🎉🎉🎉
some special mentions under the cut b/c we Must Increase One More Tier Soft (super sorry for the spam fuc )
Hello and thank you to both the new and old admins for all your hard work! Are there perhaps any new preggo!soo fics any pairing is fine, and I've already read all the ones previously recced in mpreg. */u\*
Close My Eyes (Don Diablo Edit) - Corderoy Drive - Jai Wolf We Come - Boehm Waiting For Love - Avicii Not That Simple (Kyle Tree Remix) - Mike Posner Breathe - Seeb California Dreamin (Calvo Remix) - Freischwimmer Panama City Beach - Pink Slip Capsize - Frenship Summer - Marshmello Is It Love - 3LAU Silence - Don Diablo Golden Light - Madden Visions (Boehm Remix) - Cheat Codes Realise (Two Can Remix) - Carmada Show Me Love (EDX Remix/Radio Edit) - Sam Feldt Waited Too Long - 90 Pounds of Pete Say It - Flume Chasin’ You (Extended) - Supermans Feinde Marathon - Lost Kings Freak - R3hab Oasis - Kygo Back In The Day - De Hofnar Kings of Summer - ayokay Full Circle - Quinn XCII Troubles - Imad Royal Stargazing - Jus Jack Where I Wanna Be - A R I Z O N A Paradise (Boehm Remix) - Josef Salvat Getting Away - Vindata Raging - Kygo Feel Good Inc. - filous Colors (Sam Feldt Remix) - Halsey I Wanna Know - Alesso Darling - Said the Sky Dancer (Kygo Remix) - Didrik Thulin I Got U - Duke Dumont Give It Up - Jack Wins Serious - Kygo WHERE THE HELL ARE MY FRIENDS - Lany Weekend - Mac Miller, Miguel LA Confidential - Tory Lanez 9 - Drake I’m Ready - Skizzy Mars Round Whippin - A.CHAL GUD VIBRATIONS (Instrumental) - NGHTMRE, SLANDER Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap Loud Pipes - Ratatat Your Soul - Hippie Sabotage Always (Wave Racer Remix) - Panama Too Good - Drake Inside Out - The Chainsmokers Dream - Autograf Nothing Left - Kygo Coming Over (filous Remix) - Hersey Flame (Roosevelt Remix) - Sundara Karma Water - Ra Ra Riot How Hard I Try - filous Hiding - San Holo Sleepless (Radio Edit) - CAZZETTE Feel So Close (Radio Edit) - Calvin Harris (shoutout 2012) Isla (Aevion Remix) - Felon Talk To Me - Rainer + Grimm Ocean Drive - Duke Dumont Roses (King Arthur Remix) - The Chainsmokers It Isn’t Mine - Slaptop Burn Fast (Louis Vivet Remix) - Bryce Fox Beautiful Heartbeat (Deorro Remix) - MORTEN Emotional - Flux Pavilion Without You (Vindata Remix) - ODESZA Insane - Flume Six A.M. - PANTyRAID Cocaine Model - Zhu Free My Mind (RAC Remix) - Katie Herzig People - Kav Verhouser Alcoholics - Skizzy Mars High You Are (Branchez Remix) - What So Not Never Be Like You - Flume Sun Models - ODESZA Gemini (Ekali Remix) - What So Not Bob Marley - Grizfolk Say a Prayer for Me - RUFUS DU SOL Closer Than This - St. Lucia I’m In Love - Kygo Turn Me On - ID Show Me - Marc E. Bassy Girls Like U - Blackbear Change Up - Yung Jules Throwback (feat. Bueller) - Ashton Harris Ego - Tove Stryke Real Love (The Chainsmokers Remix) - Clean Bandit What You Waiting For - Gazzo Maybe - Carmada With You (Daniel Richard Remix) - Jupiter Project Middle - DJ Snake Tropic Love - The Diviners Addicted To You - Avicii Atmosphere - Kaskade If Only (Remix) - PatrickReza Want U 2 (Marshmello & Slushii Remix) - Marshmello Hold On, We’re Going Home - Drake Lay It All on Me - Rudimental Like An Animal - RUFUS DU SOL Just - Couzare Magnets (SG Lewis Remix) - Disclosure Here For You - Kygo Warm - SG Lewis Wicked Games - Parra for Cuva Bad, Bad, Bad (Matt DiMona Remix) - LANY HyperParadise (Flume Remix GANZ FLIP) - Hermitude White Lies - ODESZA Music In You - Sebastien Together As One (Radio Edit) - Dropgun From Me to You - Yolanda Be Cool Basically, I - Robert Delong Care - R3hab Alone - Marshmello Sleep, For The Weak! (Lost Frequencies Remix) - Lea Rue New York City - The Chainsmokers Feeling Right - Matoma Chemistry - Rawch No Role Modelz - J. Cole My Love For You (Radio Edit) - RAI Running Out - Matoma Once in a While - Timeflies Oceans - tyDI Lush Life - Zara Larsson Metaphysical - Autograf In The Morning - Zhu Able to See Me - Hippie Sabotage Lana Del Dre - Tep No The Way You Want Me - Lucky Rose Count On You - Autoerotique With You - Embody Drunk & I’m Drunk - Marc E. Bassy Payday - Derek Pope ILYSB - Lany Drama (feat. Drake) - Roy Woods Genghis Khan (Louis The Child Remix) - Miike Snow When To Love You - Andrew Luce Stay - Kygo Borderline (Vanic Remix) - Tove Stryke Until You Were Gone (Boehm Remix) - The Chainsmokers Faded - Alan Walker Takes My Body Higher - Shoffy Can’t Have (Ape Drums Remix) - Steven A. Clark Ocean Drive (Shaun Frank Remix) - Duke Dumont Fragile - Kygo In The Arms Of A Stranger (Brian Keirulf Remix) - Mike Posner Thunder Clatter - Wild Cub Wild Sun - The Strumbellas Night Dive - Mount Dreams I Don’t Care - LANY More - Jan Blomqvist Thankful - Feki + more to be added!
I guess I never understood.
True pain, true remorse, true sorrow.
People have spoken sad stories about how a beautiful life has been destroyed, and their tears never effected me.
People have talked about different ways to destroy yourself.
Drinking, drugs, and more than I care to name.
There is only one subject all people carelessly leave out that will tear you apart from the inside out.
It’s the deadliest of all destructions, and the drinking only follows in its path.
This destruction has a pulsing heart and emerald green eyes that shine with gold specks underneath the suns glory.
This destruction has dimples and eyelashes that flutter softly when he blinks.
This kind of destruction kisses you softly, and it is never a sudden hurt that washes upon a soul.
It’s a slow, gradual pain that continues to stain your heart and wisdom.
It’s feeling blissful and euphoric.
Happiness breeds sorrow, and that’s why it is so deadly.
One will never see it’s appearance until they remember all they used to have. They will never realize their heart has fallen apart until the pieces tear them up, leaving bleeding wounds.
Only when they are numb and their mind is void will they realize what they have done to themselves.
Drinking never felt this way, the impact was minuscule.
A fun night, a headache the next day, and then I moved on with my life.
I’ll carry the burden of all that is, and all that could have been deep within me. Deep within the darkest part of my soul that whimpers for rays of light.
Drinking and drugs ruined my life, but falling in love ruined my life more.