u little shit get outta there

  WORDS CAN’T HURT ME,    MY MUTUALS ARE GUCCI !!!

                    i’ve had this blog for what    ╾╾    three to four days    ╾╾    and there’s already 100+ of you little  (    yet wonderful   )  shits following this blog ?    so many amazingly talented people ???    following my good    made to shitpost    motherly blog ???    aw hell to the no !    y’all gotta get outta here !!!    I’M KIDDING,    i’m kidding !    i love and appreciate every last one of you,    even if we may not speak ooc or have a thread going yet.    trust me,    it’s a scientifically proven fact.    but anyways,    enough of my rambling !    it’s time to    ╾╾    kick katsuki out of my god damn house    ╾╾    i mean,    roll out the red carpet !

Keep reading

Jungkook as your boyfriend

I’m gonna fucking yell while making this I can just feEL IT

…….*sigh* hol up…..lemme just….take a deep breath cause uh….we in for a wild ride friends

heres the other boy btw if ur interested Jimin Hobi Yoongi

•A complex boy lemme tell ya

•He just??? Never stops confusing and amazing you at the same damn time?

•He’s probably really shy wen you first meet bc he’s just not comfortable around people he’s not used too

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

what about an all marauders head canon love? being best friends with them since 1st year and then them flipping out when they find out (walked in on u making out cough) get ur first bf in like 4th???? ALSO THEM BEATING THE SHIT OUTTA HIM WHEN U GUYS BRAKE UP????? lmao headcanons pls love ya blog

  • yes, they would be very protective of their ‘little girl’
  • they’d take you under their wing, constantly looking out for you
  • Remus would help out with any academics (and you’d help out with the days he missed during the full moon)
  • Sirius would ensure that you are getting your ‘daily dose of fun’
  • James would be the mother you’d go to if you’d have an issue with someone
  • (seriously, he’d be a big brother to you)
  • Peter would always ensure that you were eating, and maintaining healthy habits (often allowing himself as a cuddle buddy when you just wanted a nap; much to the other boys’ dismay)
  • and this type of close knit relationship would have them bursting into your room all the time
  • so in the middle of fifth year, when you’d finally gotten your boyfriend into your room (he was always quite uncomfortable because of the boys) they had to just ruin it
  • Sirius would come bursting in, the others in tow, talking about how you have holed yourself up in this room for too long 
  • but he’d stop mid sentence as he saw you straddling your boyfriend, him shirtless and you pants-less
  • they’d all be stunned into silence, staring at both of you caught red handed
  • surprisingly James, the most protective of you, would be the first to speak
  • “Um, it looks like Y/N is a little busy at the moments, mates. Let’s go.”
  • Sirius would freak out
  • Remus would brood 
  • Peter would be disappointed and mope
  • Sirius would immediately go to yelling, only stopped by James’ hand on his shoulder and a firm, “let her be.”
  • they’d all leave, Sirius telling you to meet them in their dorm after you’re done
  • you’d be so nervous, you’d start shaking
  • because you have never heard Sirius that firm and reprimanding before
  • your poor boyfriend would comfort you, saying that it went better than you thought it would
  • and you’d just nod, getting off of him and tell him that you need to go
  • once in their dorms, James was trying to calm Sirius down
  • because he had almost not been surprised (you had told him you had a crush on him last year, and the two of you would often talk about how to win over the other’s affections)
  • “Prongs, she was kissing him! With no pants on! What is she thinking?? Does she not realize what that could have lead to?!”
  • James just sighed, looking to Remus who was brooding, thinking about all the time you’d have to share with them and your boyfriend
  • “Listen, he isn’t a bad guy. He seems pretty nice, the way that Y/N talks about him; and I think it is great that she is happy.”
  • everyone would be shocked because “James, you knew??”
  • he’d nod, and assure them that he’d checked him out long ago
  • knowing that he passed James’ approval seemed to calm the rest of them
  • and when you knocked on the door hours later, tears in your eyes, Sirius had felt so bad
  • because he really didn’t mean to yell at you
  • you’d stand there, arms twitching because you needed a hug but were too scared to ask any of these boys in fear that they were mad at you
  • finally, Remus pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head softly
  • “Are you happy with him, Y/N?” 
  • you’d nod, sniffling softly “the happiest I’ve been ever.”
  • and suddenly you’d hear a slight scoff and feel yourself be pulled out of Remus’ arms and into Sirius’
  • he’d hug you tightly for a moment before pulling back and staring at you
  • you’d look up at him through tears you were trying desperately not to reform
  • “If he ever hurts you, I’ll hex him so hard that he won’t be able to procreate.”
  • you smile hesitantly asking if that meant he wasn’t mad
  • “I could never be mad at you being happy, my little bug.”
  • group hugs that end in cuddles and a trip down to the kitchens for hot chocolate
  • a year and a half later, when you came back to their door in a similar manner; tears in your eyes, itching to hug one of them but not knowing who to go to, the boys were confused
  • you finally burst into tears, practically throwing yourself into James’ arms
  • and as James comforted you the whole night, he was trying his hardest to fight the urge to flip out like Sirius had
  • because normally he would
  • but with you, he had always been calmer, more level headed
  • he needed to think things through with you, because you didn’t deserve anything less
  • it was only then he decided how much he really loved you (as a sister or not, your choice)
  • and how hard he was going to hex that boy because he hurt you

I swear, I always have trouble keeping things platonic with these boys. I love them too much. Whoops. :)

“@fuckingspacequeen i don’t know if you’ve discussed it or if anyone’s said it before, but how do you feel about marlon teixeira as damen? imho he’s got just the right amount of young, trusting face accompanied with being built like a shit brickhouse (he could lift you up like u were a tinnyy little kitten lbr)

(this message brought to you by the fact that i caNNOT stop thinking about captive prince. ever. help me please.)”

-

dude marlon IS my Damen! he’s PERFECT in my mind I’m incapable of thinking of Damen and not seeing him. idk if you’ve seen emil anderson but he’s my Laurent HELLA please get on that and discuss with me 

and i feel the fuck outta you i’m not exaggerating it’s in my thoughts every 30 seconds i HATE THEM

anonymous asked:

Hello ✌ !! May I request some non-au fics please? Thank you ♡

two anons asked for the same thing so i will answer both together~

뽀뽀 (Kiss Kiss) Taehyung pressed the shutter button and scrambled to check the photo. It was blurred and the lighting made his face too shiny but for once Jungkook didn’t mind. The photo was so raw, so different from the usual carefully taken selcas and Taehyung didn’t bother to add any effects. (Jungkook wanted a copy of the photo just to make it his phone’s home screen)

(this is like really lovely ;;;; cuddly!taekook ftw)

elephant moles in which taehyung annoys jungkook with his usual antics

(cute one shot about taehyung being an adorable little shit taehyung)

hold my handjeongguk is well-aware he’ll never get back to sleep if it’s taehyung who woke him up.   

(heartwarming and adorable platonic love because who doesn’t love platonic???)

Missing the Memo  You know what they say when you assume things. It makes an ass outta u and me. (Or that one fic where the hyung line tried to give The Talk to the maknae line, and nobody escaped unscathed.) 

(THIS IS GOLD, crack + fluffy is the best seriously)

negotiation tactics  Jungkook has been ignoring Taehyung all week. Taehyung decides to fix that. 

Secret (not really)  Jungkook is being creepy but Taehyung’s okay with that. 

(i love this one because i can totally picture jungkook staring creepily at taehyung for hours)

Let me go!Jeongguk has this habit of raising Taehyung and carrying him away whenever he feels like it -or when Taehyung gets too annoying.-   

(i will recomend this one ‘till the day i die. really lovely and funny ♥)


i hope you guys like it ♥

- admin H

anonymous asked:

Flizzy my girl just left me and said she had another boyfriend for at least a month now, she just "forgot" to tell me.... bruh what the fuck do I do now, she acts like we never even met

aiight heres what u do.. grab a set of keys and a strong knife

wait till aboutt….november 23rd 24th  (ill tell u why in a sec)

around 2-3 am

park your car 4 blocks from where she lives  cause u dont want no one to see u

find her car, key the fuck out that shit not like one ring make it look like a 1 yr old was scribbling on that bitch

do that on the hood and all the doors and the windows too

then u take the knife pop all 4 tires

… might as well take the hub caps too..

then u get up outta there run make sure you’re not being followed get in your car and go home

reason i told u to do it november 23rd is u just fucked up christmas fam

she gonna need to repair all that shit she aint gonna have no money for christmas gifts right before black friday

in turn this leads to

her little cousins hating her

her siblings hating her

cause they aint get gifts

she gets sad :(  and cant enjoy christmas

you win

and the first person her friends are gonna say is i bet it was your ex

when she calls you u gotta say something like

her: andrew did you key my car

you: 

“aint nobody thinking bout you i got so many hoes now u leaving me was a blessing i got hoessss… i got hella hoes.. i got hoes ”

anonymous asked:

Okay so i feel like Davey would play the piano???Idk why but I FEEL it.& like u LOOOVVVEEE watching him play bc he gets so focused&his lil nose scrunches up when he messes up/gets to a difficult part&he gets nervous when u're watching him bc he wants to impress u but little does he know u're already impressed&all u want to do is push him against the piano & fuck the daylights outta him but when u suggest it he's like "NOT ON THE PIANO NO" So u take it to the bedroom & have just as much fun ;)-🍔

YEEEEES HE WOULD AND OH SHIT FUCK ME UP FAM!!
No but seriously, Mama’s had another bad day with family so some 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 quality smut would be GREATLY appreciated!
~🐳

EXO CHAT GROUP
  • [notification]: 56764 chats
  • Chanyeol: /uploaded Suho's pic hugging vogue magz with Kris and an unidentified girl--her face is full of scratch--on the cover while sleeping like a shrimp on the sofa/
  • Baekhyun: ;__;
  • Chanyeol: I almost cried when i took this photo
  • Baekhyun: What should we do ab this?
  • Chanyeol: He needs to see someone
  • Baekhyun: Should we arrange him a blind date?
  • Chanyeol: K i'll try to find one at christianmingle.com
  • Baekhyun: Suho hyung is buddhist babe
  • Chanyeol: But he had quite experience as church oppa
  • Baekhyun: Whatever just come home quickly
  • Chanyeol: Why?
  • Sehun: Baekhyun hyung has started unzipping my pants again fyi
  • Chanyeol: I TOLD YOU NOT TO WEAR SKINNY ZIPPER PANTS WHEN BAEKHYUN IS AROUND YOU LITTLE SHIT
  • Chanyeol: B im coming home rn so pls hold ur thirst
  • Sehun: Buy me a bubbletea on the way home or im going to unzip my own pants rn
  • Chanyeol: You son of a bitch OKAY JUST GET OUTTA BAEKHYUN'S SIGHT RN
  • Suho: Park Chanyeol you are going to regret this very much and i will not go to any blind date thank you
  • Tao: /uploaded selca on the street somewhere in LA/
  • Suho: What- u still in this chat group?
  • Tao: I miss you mom :(
  • Sehun: Bruh i played that game in which you are involved as a character and it sucks
  • Tao: Excuse you, won't you thank me for making you almost main rapper in exo rn?
  • Suho: Never call me mom again Zitao i don't even have a husband :)
  • Chen: /invited Kris to the chat/
  • Suho: KIM JONG DAE WHAT ARE YOU-
  • Chen: Im giving you a husband
  • Kris: /joined the chat/
  • Kris: Ayo whaddup galaxy is back in the house
  • Suho: JUST FUCK MY LIFE.
  • Suho: /left the chat/
  • Sehun: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • Sehun: /invited Luhan to the chat/
  • Luhan: /joined the chat/
  • Luhan: Yo yo manly Luhan is back. Have u listened to my new song? What do you think guys?
  • Sehun: Perfect <3
  • Lay: Tao? Kris? Luhan? Am i high?
  • Chen: You have been always Boss Zhang, you didn't even wear pants while being filmed yesterday
  • Baekhyun: what a mess we did create Park Chanyeol i love u
  • Chanyeol: love u too let's get a room ;)
  • Kai: See? This' why i muted this chat group
  • D.O: Yes, i get it
  • Xiumin: ...
This totally happened:

- after apollo/lester goes after meg and his other children, Will is a nervous wreck

- nico notices this and suggests they take break from battle preperations or whatever and go for a quiet ! relaxing !! canoe ride

-then there’s Will who’s like “its the middle of winter deathboy are u shitting me rn”

- but they go anyway and they’re laying in the canoe, will has his head on nico’s chest while nico runs fingers through will’s hair

-and Will starts talking about how useless he feels because he cant do anything to help

- so nico tries to take Will’s mind off of his missing siblings/dad by giving him loads of nice compliments and shit

-will’s eyes are closed and he breathes out a quiet, shaky laugh. “You can be so nice sometimes, Nico.”

-and nico says “it’s because i like u, idiot”

-will cracks one eye open, peers up at his bf and goes “ really? Well what about me do u like the most?”

-cue in the GIANT FUCKING statue of Apollo, stomping into camp in all its NAKED glory

-and only nico can see it cause of their positions in the boat

-so he yells “GIANT BALLS”

-Because rly who wouldn’t if they saw an enormous set of testicles headed towards them

-ANYWAY

-so this stuns the fuck outta will and hes like excUSE ME?!?! “My giant balls?????”

-nico goes “no” pointing at the statue, and says “THOSE giant balls”

-so will looks and hes like “holy SHIt WHERE DID THAT COME FROM WE GOTTA GET OUT OF THE LAKE BEFORE WE’RE TRAMPLED” but it’s too late cause giant’s next step causes a wave that knocks the little canoe over

-now both boys are cold and wet and THEN COMES A GIANT HOPPING ANT CARRYING APOLLO AND KAYLA AND AUSTIN and will’s like “What the F U C K. ”

-“HOW IS THIS HAPPENING WHAT IS GOING ON”

- and this is why they cant have nice things and be like normal teenagers

-this was terribly long B Ye.

What she says: I’m not here for you

What she means: bitch whAT THE FUCK Y U SO STUPID WHO THE F GAVE U THE RIGHT U LITTLE SHIT IM THIS CLOSE TO GIVING U THE BIGGEST VERBAL BEATING OF UR LIFE U DONE GO CHEATING ON MY SISTER AND THEN TELLING THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT IT AND-

What she says: i know my sister like I know my own mind you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind

What she means: -AND LITERALLY U OWE EVERYTHING TO ELIZA WHAT THE FUCKYOU DONT DESERVE HER GET OUTTA HERE YOU BITCHASS AND IM TRYING TO KEEP ALL MY CHILL RIGHT NOW-

What she says: I love my sister more than anything in this life I will choose her happiness over mine every time. Put what we had aside, I’m standing at her side

What she means: -I CANT BELIEVE I EVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT WASTING MY TIME ON U WHAT THE FUCK Y U TELL THE WHOLE WORLD THIS IS A PRIVATE SITUATION I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU COULD BE SO STUPID-

What she says: You will never be satisfied gOD I HOPE YOUR SATISFIED

What she means: Fuck you.

anonymous asked:

sometimes munakatas temper gets the better of him & he lashes out & chisa puts him in a room with a closed door as punishment. 'this is for ur own good kyosuke' she says to the background noise of munakata yelling & banging on the door. 'u sure this is a good idea?' sakakura asks skeptically. chisa brushes him off 'what could go wrong?' little does she know just as shes saying this munakata is already crawling in the vents, making his way outta there (this is reALLY weird im sory dhfjk)

HHHHOLy shit I’m laughigbb really hard this one wins evveryone go home

u know what i took like 6 shots tonight and smoked way too much and i feel dizzy but u know what scares me right now, what im thinkin about is the fact that i love being fucked up and that scares the shit outta me bc my dad was an alcoholic and it ruined my life and i hate him for it and i dont wanna become that but when i take a shot when i smoke a blunt i forget about my worries just for a little bit i get to forget who i am and all my problems and i wish i could say that to someone in my life but i cant so imma just say it here bc sometimes u need to say how u feel even if nobody reads it idk i just idk honestly

anonymous asked:

Holy shit Saeran I bet you will get to spend the Holidays with Mr. Han. Maybe he'll take you out of the bunker and to his penthouse so you can actually see Christmas lights and trees and snow and he'll probably spoil THE FUCK outta u. We're talking piles of sweaters, an art set, iPods, little cactuses...

V, is this you? I don’t want any of your fucking cacti.

I have way too many thoughts about robbie meeting other legacy heroes, like ok accidentally running into kate is definitely within the realm of possibility and at first he finds her sooo annoying, bc lbr, kate absolutely reeks of Rich Girl Problems™ but he begrudgingly respects her bc she’s been doing the hero thing for awhile now and not only is she good at it but she’s just so good period. kate would put her life on the line for someone she just met if she thought it was the right thing to do and robbie secretly admires how she just cares so much.

he’d be totally won over when kate meets gabe though and she’s perfect with him and gabe has stars in his eyes like ‘robbie do you know who she is? it’s hawkeye! it’s actually hawkeye!’ ok like gabe and kate would just be adorable together and that’s the one ironclad requirement for friendship with robbie, if gabe doesn’t like you you’re shit outta luck.

they would be getting on each others nerve’s constantly bc theyre both headstrong and a little reckless but they would make an excellent team bc deep down they get each other. I imagine lots of snarking and good natured teasing. they’d always be snapchatting each other gross things, trying to one up the other, robbie sending kate a snapchat of a thug he mangled 'found u a hot date’ and kate replying with a pic of road kill 'u in the near future’ they would just be the best of buds ok

and then through kate robbie would meet america and he’s totally speechless 'wow, she’s so, wow’ (kate’s like, I know right?) they have a lot of orphan feelings together and america doesn’t really like to talk about her moms but with robbie it all just kind of spills out of her. they have this huge heart to heart and afterward robbie can sense how awkward america is feeling bc, yo she just spilled her guts to this kid she hardly knows, and so he gives her the biggest bear hug ever.

robbie feels so at home with america, like she’s this extension of himself he never knew existed, he never pretends to be anything he’s not around her, not only bc she would see right through it, but bc he doesn’t need to. whenever things get to be too much, when he’s overwhelmed by school and work and the ghost rider he calls america and they talk for hours.

america gets into the habit of taking robbie and gabe out for pancakes on the weekends and when robbie tries to pay for his and gabe’s meals america gives him the most withering look and says 'chico please, don’t even try’ and robbie knows better than to argue with that tone of voice.

and ok so on the improbable chance that robbie and kamala somehow meet robbie would just be so totally charmed by her. she’d remind him of gabe a lot with her extensive nerd prowess but you know, older and rly cute. they’d compare origin stories 'so you just passed out in some weird fog and woke up with super powers?’, 'your car is haunted?’, *in unison* 'that’s amazing!’

kamala would take to texting robbie asking for advice on how not to murder your classmates. they’d have skype dates where they compare crime fighting notes and any new developments with their powers. and robbie would have the world’s biggest most embarrassing crush on kamala but would think it’s totally hopeless bc not only does she live on the entire other side of the country but also what would someone like her see in someone like him, meanwhile kamala is having the exact same existential romantic crisis about robbie. (also imagine when they finally work things out robbie calling america for a 'ride’ to jersey city, then having to explain why he needs to go to jersey and 'omg kate I can hear you laughing in the background through the phone shut up’, imagine robbie and kamala going on a double date with america and kate, imagine~)

they would just be so so cute figuring out how their powers work and how to be heroes together, always there to have each other’s backs and give each other hope. just robbie and kamala *heart eyes*