u guys think this is a joke

So I’m already seeing people play a game of telephone with Dream Daddy discourse

There’s people who are citing those who have been told by a friend of a friend who may or may not have played the game why it’s SUPER HOMOPHOBIC and how disappointed they are that they cannot buy it now etc all up in my gaming circles rn and it’s making me slowly lean my head against the wall and hum “Mad World” to myself, tbqh.

And not naming any names but there’s also half-truths and hyperbole going around from people who seem to mostly just not… like the game. Like, I’ve seen people say “it MUST be queerbaiting, bc I thought the game felt soulless, so they clearly don’t care about gay couples!” Like no, you just didn’t like the damn game.

So let’s clear up a couple things.

  • Multiple people, including at least one writer, who worked on this game in important capacities are LGBT. This was not made by an “all cishet team”.
  • There is no “cult ending”. There is a maybe-happening-maybe-not Halloween DLC (as confirmed by an artist who worked on the game, albeit not through official channels) that isn’t accessible in game at the moment but was found by data mining. Even if you think a parody ending involving jokey violence is inherently homophobic (spoiler: I think that’s stupid and limiting to LGBT media, go away), the context of it being halloween themed DLC puts a different framing on that altogether. HALLOWEEN IS THE GAYEST FUCKIN HOLIDAY GUYS PLZ
  • It’s not canon. Seriously. DD has no “bizarre twist”. It has an unused side-route that was horror themed.
  • Any and all humour in the premise is just Dad jokes. There’s no goddamn gay jokes, guys. “It’s funny and gay and therefore homophobic!” is obnoxious as shit, sorry not every Big Ol’ Queer wants to live a pious, humourless existence. I’ve played through most of this game by now and it’s not got fucking gay jokes (or trans jokes) in it.
  • There’s legit a good discussion to be had about the way Joseph’s ending plays into some uncomfortable tropes, but I’m gonna be honest, “never allow for anything except a 100% happy ending, for any character” is not a useful mindset to enter that discussion with. “It sucks that the character resembling some real-life experiences around being a closeted religious figure is the one who doesn’t get a ‘good ending’“ is closer to a good jumping off point.
  • (Also, I see u all telling trans fans, fans of colour, etc not to get a game where they get treated decently bc you think the blonde Christian got the short end of the stick.)
  • It’s short because it’s an £11 indie game not because They Don’t Care About The Gays or w/e jesus christ chill.

I keep coming back to the stupid “cult ending” bullshit bc it’s like, my guy, “lgbt people are often demonized so doing a joke route where someone is literally possessed is Bad” is allowed to be taken in a slightly different context when the followup is “also nobody important in this game is goddamn heterosexual and the actual content of the game is totally different to this”. Criticism of media isn’t supposed to be a binary checklist of “does or does not have [x]”, you’re supposed to engage with it using the context of the work. Can you- and lbr, a lot of this is coming from cishet allies- just CHILL and let us have a sense of HUMOUR once in a while.

anyway i played a trans dude dad and gay dated and gay fucked some dudes and had a blast, it was SWEET, dd is a fun game

  • Alfor: (to the royal artist) hey uh can u draw an official portrait of my robot OC his name is voltron
  • Artist: sorry i don't do commissions of furries/anthros or mecha :/

str8 people try so hard to keep on assuming everyone around them is as str8 as them like. for a quick writing thing in English the teacher wanted to know “what u looked for romantically in the opposite sex” which was bullshit phrasing to begin with and I was annoyed so I put “I dont” cause I wasn’t in the mood to play along

and the guy next to me was like “so u don’t have any standards???????!?!??” and I was like. “I don’t look for anything in the opposite sex” and he was like “yeah I heard u, your saying u don’t have any standards” and I was like

“I don’t look for anything in the opposite sex

he STILL doesn’t get it. everyone else at my table is also confused. the teacher thinks I was making a joke about not dating anyone.

?????????????????????????

BTS as Roommates

Jin:

  • ”hey, Third Guy From The Left, pass the remote”
  • cleans up after you, cooks for you, nags a lot; he’s basically your second mom
  • your friends coming over to hit on him
  • which he’s totally down with; “I’m worldwide handsome, what do you expect?”
  • your parents wishing you two would get together
  • you two cuddle sometimes and it’s fine, it’s nothing romantic. just two friends chilling in each others arms,, move along ppl, nothing to see here
  • you’re his taste tester
  • so he often makes you stand by while he cooks, so he can spoon boiling hot sauce from the pot into your mouth to ask if he needs more salt
  • buys you BTS merch
  • “I better be your ultimate bias” “look at me, I’m everyone’s bias and bias wrecker” “the real visual of BTS taehyung better back off”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Suga:

  • you joke that he’s basically a ghost
  • he’s usually not there, since he’s at the studio or doing promotions, concerts, etc. and when he is there, he’s sleeping
  • whenever he’s there and actually awake you’re like “who are you? I didn’t know you lived here” “shut up and tell me what there is to eat in this house. are there any lamb skewers?”
  • like I said, he’s mostly not there but when he is, he wants to spend some time hanging with you. the boys are fine but he’s so Tired of their antics that time with you is like a breath of fresh air
  • you don’t do much, just watch tv and order take out but it suites you both just fine. he usually shit talks other celebs during that time, so you know all the inside gossip
  • “wait, he’s cheating on her with the model??” you gasp
  • “yeah, I caught them fucking backstage”
  • “well, damn :( he was my bias”

Originally posted by sugastoungetechonawlogy

J-Hope:

  • so f*cking loud omg u wonder why you still live with him
  • he’s energetic and loud (I can’t stress the loud part) for the most part, even waking you up with pans banging or singing in your ear
  • insists on “roommate bonding time” which is just an excuse to go out, get drunk & bring back f*ck buddies
  • has the LOUDEST sex
  • and walls are thin
  • but he apologizes w pizza so,, there’s perks to that
  • walks around half naked
  • flirts w your hot friends/family members but always asks you if it’s okay to make a serious move on any of them. he doesn’t want to cross any lines that would leave tension between you two
  • keeps trynna hook you up with one of the boys “except Joonie he’s gross” “he’s exactly like you” “exactly”
  • always texts & snaps you, sometimes about roommate stuff (”did I leave the stove on?” “which brand of popcorn should I pick up?” “did I leave my keys in the apartment?”) and sometimes just to chat
  • he likes to send you updates about BTS
  • he facetimed you at the BBMAS and does so just in general, so you get to see what idol life is really like … lots of sitting backstage, tired but running on adreneline, being hungry, etc

Originally posted by btsarekings

Rap Monster:

  • your place is the hangout spot. the guys always come over whether it’s to chill or hold house parties where you’re like “let’s not get twisted and ruin the furniture” but uh,, let’s just say you two aren’t getting your deposits back
  • refuses to let the guys even hit on you; “you’re too good for them. I’d rather hook you up with someone better. do you like Jackson? wait, nvm he’s worse than us”
  • totally cool w you bringing back one night stands
  • hell, he slips you protection too if you need it
  • is also very aware of you when you’re both out, that no one tries to slip you something or take advantage of you
  • takes you home if you’re too drunk
  • nurses you as you throw up but gives you hell for it the next day
  • he’s basically more like your chill cousin than a roommate

Originally posted by snowmons

Jimin: 

  • proTECT PROTECT Protect at ALL Costs
  • he denies this but he loves having you dote on him
  • it’s a nice feeling, to come back after a long day to your food, a warm home and just chill on the couch with you
  • he feels comfortable around you, talking about his worries or about his day
  • turns into Big Brother mode if you’re going to a party or if you start dating. no guy/gal even sets foot into that apartment unless they’re 100% Jimin approved
  • you’re both protective of each other, like siblings, so living together is a joy

Originally posted by bwipsul

V: 

  • super touchy,, everyone thinks you’re dating but nah man it’s just friends kissing friends, how’s that not normal?
  • will crawl into your bed quite often
  • brings home food
  • insists on late night “adventures” to the convenience store, where you just buy junk food and movies on sale
  • jungkook practically lives there
  • you keep “joking” that he needs to pay rent but it’s not a joke anymore like seriously u use up all our hot water give us money
  • he loves having ppl over, not just jungkook lol, but your friends and his other friends,, your place is usually busy and always a warm environment
  • buys you matching “friendship” outfits and bracelets that legit are just friendship stuff, no dating
  • he tells you about his crushes (even before jungkook but don’t tell him)
  • and you two stay up some nights, stalking yours and his crushes, on their social media accounts, having panic attacks when you accidentally like shit from 38 weeks ago

Originally posted by bwipsul

Jungkook:

  • watching anime 25/8
  • offering him protection when jimin stays over; “but we’re just friends” “yeah right sure. just hmu if you need them”
  • it took him a whole year to warm up to you though
  • he was so awkward and shy, often keeping his distance
  • he walked in on you pooping once and it took two months for him to walk back into the apartment (he’d been sleeping on jin’s couch lol)
  • now he farts around you
  • you two rank the fart based on sound, funniness and smell
  • *choking* *tearing up* “good one (y/n) that’s a solid 11/10″
  • will blush himself to death if you bring home someone
  • doesn’t really bring anyone over himself. he’s too uncomfortable w the fact that you’re there to try anything.
  • doing childish shit like pranks and eating each others sweets
  • “kook did u eat my green sweets?”
  • jk, with green tongue: “no, how could u accuse me??”

Originally posted by nnochu

callout post for jeremy dooley
  • so nice????? what a legitimately nice guy whats up with that
  • when he smiles u will be left gasping for air be careful
  • somehow makes all hair colours look good??? what kinda shit is that??
  • probably gives the best hugs,, how dare he
  • so funny?? hes hilarious???? who does he think he is with all his great jokes?????
  • actual adorable and flawless being,,,, sets my irl standards too high,,,
  • hes just a great person and i cant take it

anonymous asked:

CAN YOU DO A FRIENDS TO LOVERS AU FOR 17'S MINGYU PLEASE?? THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WRITING BTW

seungkwan (here) |  dino (here) |  jeonghan (here) | hoshi (here) |  jun (here) | 
seokmin (here) |  wonwoo (here) |  joshua (here) |  woozi (here) |  s.coups (here)
minghao (here) |

  • cornball friends since you both said dogs were your favorite animals on the first day of middle school and everyone else was like ‘sharks, cats, tigers, blah blah blah’ but u and mingyu were firmly like dogs. dogs r the best
  • kinda ended up being class clowns without even trying everyone knows you guys are always losing stuff, tripping over stuff, and ofc arguing over who is the more dorky person
  • and middle school turned to high school where everyone was convinced you were going to date each other
  • because you’re the dog loving clutzs who would always buy ice cream for each other on the way home no matter how many arguments u had in class when u were kids
  • but high school,,,,,,also meant mingyu getting taller and hotter and less dorky more ,,,,,social
  • until you were sure he had a friend group too big,,,,,too big with no room left for you
  • and you didn’t take it to heart,,,you can’t be middle school friends forever waiting for each other outside the school gates making fun of mingyu for spilling ice cream on his overalls and then him pinching your nose in defense 
  • nope you both were seniors now and no one thought of you guys as the dog loving couple anymore,,,,,,,tbh you’d kind of become estranged
  • what with mingyu suddenly being considered one of the most handsome boys,,,,,,becoming close with the other heartthrob of the school wonwoo and even star athlete minghao
  • so at some point you made your own other friends,,,a new circle of people,,,,,,and every now and then one of your friends would jokingly point out mingyu surrounded by admirers and tease like “wasn’t he your boyfriend in middle school?”
  • that is until summer comes around and everyone is nervous for graduation 
  • and you find yourself trying to clean out your locker only to find an old dusty photo in a notebook of you,,,,and mingyu,,,,,hands around each others shoulders when he was still your height,,,,,
  • and you smile sadly but tuck it into your bag only to close your locker and get slightly shocked to see mingyu leaning against the one beside yours
  • a coy smile on his face,,,,,which is more handsome than ever and you want to say you hate it but you don’t,,,,,,,you never could
  • and you’re like “yes?” and he’s like “i found something cleaning my locker out too.” and you’re like ????
  • only to see him pull out a photo from his pocket,,,,the same one you’d just found and you give him a look of confusion
  • and mingyu laughs and is like “did you think i wouldn’t have it? this is my favorite photo of us,,,,,,because we don’t have any together from high school,,,,”
  • and u bite back ur tongue from being like well why do u think that is but u just shrug and say u need to go
  • when you feel his hand on your wrist and ur like ?? and he’s like “i,,,,,do you want to get ice-cream with me?”
  • and for a moment you’re sure he’s joking but you see the flicker of hopefulness in his eyes that you remember he’d have when u two were young
  • and somehow you can’t say no,,,,,,and you guys end up walking out of school and toward a truck near a park where mingyu orders his favorite flavor and yours from memory
  • and when he hands u the one u ,,,, go “you remembered?” and he laughs like ofc,,,,,i remember everything. when we met and u said ur favorite animal was a dog like me and everyone else said we were boring. that time u tripped over my foot in six grade and i laughed so hard i ended up tripping over a jump rope on the floor. oh - that time you got ice cream on your overalls on a trip to the zoo-”
  • “the ice-cream on overalls was you mingyu, not me”
  • he scrunches up his nose and is like “nooooo it was totally you” and you giggle like nope ! i never owned overalls,,,,but you did
  • and mingyu seems to freeze and reevaluate his whole life in this spot which just makes you laugh a bit harder
  • and as you continue walking,,,,,mingyu and you share more memories and it’s like,,,,,you never stopped being friends????
  • but sitting on the swings in the park,,,,you think that did it happen - did you stop being friends?
  • and mingyu tells u ur cone is melting but u just look at him and quietly,,,,, “why weren’t we close in high school?”
  • mingyu seems taken aback,,, but at the same time his face softens and he looks down
  • and even tho mingyu’s grown to be so big and strong for a second he looks so small,,,,,and sad there
  • and before u can tell him to forget the question he raises his head and goes
  • “because you stopped looking at me.”
  • and you’re like ?????? what and he straightens up and is like “when we got to high school,,,,all these people wanted to be my friend,,,,,,and it was nice but when id see you,,,,,,,id smile and look but you’d,,,,never look back at me,,,,,,,i thought - i thougt you’d found out,,,,,”
  • and ur like ??? found out what????
  • and mingyu swallows looking off to the side,,,his profile pretty in the summers setting sun
  • and then he says something you never thought you’d hear
  • “i thought you found out that i like you,,,,,,”
  • and ur like wait?????? you like me????? and mingyu blinks,,,
  • because yeah,,,,,,,,he likes you
  • he’s liked you since middle school and everyone knew and the first year of high school everyone said you two would date - because wasn’t he being obvious
  • and ur like ????? no????? and mingyu is like gkfhsd was i  supposed to get down on one knee with 5000 roses for u to know???
  • and ur like WELL,,,,,,you never i never admit these things but im kinda dense ok mingyu you know this ,,,, 
  • and he’s like wELL im dENSE TOO I THOUGHT YOU WERE AVOIDING ME THROUGHOUT HIGH SCHOOL
  • and you’re like NO????? I  JUST?????
  • and you’re both like ???????? @ each other because
  • ofc,,,,,just like in middle schools you guys are two blubbering clumsy kids except this time not like literally,,,,,but emotionally
  • and mingyu finally settles himself and is like,,,,,,,,well now you know,,,,coughs
  • and ur like i do,,,,,,,,
  • and he’s like w,,,well what do you think???
  • and u think for a second before moving your swing closer,,,, leaning toward mingyu to press a kiss near the side of his lips
  • and he’s like ?????? does this mean you like me too-
  • and ur like oh no there was just some ice cream there and i wanted to eat it
  • mingyu: are you kidding, are you seriou-
  • you: nO oh my god yes i like you too ,,,,,,
  • mingyu: ok good u need to be more direct obviously we’re both oblivious as heck
  • you:,,,,,,true but also you did have some ice cream there -
  • mingyu: i like you so much but PLEASE
Dating Richie Tozier

i love it. i love my sons sosoosos much im actually getting concerned for myself bc theyre all like 2 years younger than me :’)

also writing these really fucked me up so thank u to my own thoughts


  • u guys would b that couple that everyone would be like; “wtf” “how did they end up together” “WTF
  • hahahaha you guys would also be that annoying ass mofo couple don’t get me wrong
  • he would DEFIANTLY squish your cheeks all the time!!@#^
  • SO!!MANY!!!SEXUAL!!!!!JOKES!

“hey (y/n), you dad asked me what i’ll do when im older and apparently ‘you daughter’ was’t the right answer”

“richie, i spit out the watermelon seeds, what does that have t- oh my god”

“hey hey hey (y/n) for halloween we can be pirates and you’ll give me the booty”

“RICHIE SHUT THE NKJHJGHF UP”

  • even though every thinks the he’s one of the tougher losers, he still cries into your shoulder when he’s scared
  • he has nightmares & you’re always there to hold him :’)
  • he just kind of slings his arms around you
  • hes like a dead weight when he does this
  • bc he doesn’t care what he looks like, he just wants to be held oh my god my poor smol child
  • HES THE JELOUS TYPE IEGFUDSKL
  • if you’re talking to bill
  • and giggling when he’s staring
  • oooooooooh prepare to terminate

“(y/n) why don’t you get the fuck away from me and go talk to bill. he seems like he could make you laugh way more then i ever could”

“richie, what the fuck?”

“…”

“..,.”

“rxtcfygvuhbi imsorry”

  • he would try & act like he’s not a sappy mofo around the losers but HE SO IS OH MY GOD
  • cuddles. all. the. time.
  • BC LETS GET THE ELEPHANT OUT OF THE ROOM, RICHIE IS A CUDDLE SLUT
  • forehead kisses iywrebfjdknsal im not ok
  • he’d b that bf to run his fingertip across your forehead to put you hair behind your ear awwwwwwwwweee
  • at first, when he started to catch feels, he would be so angry and confused and scared that someone (you) could make him so flustered and question all of his morals and make him not be able to make any jokes
  • zrxtcfygvuh he would want to distance himself but he would know that its only making things worse :((
  • he would be so confused my poor son so then he would ask beverly for advice & she would just be like ‘make her laugh richie, she likes funny guys”
  • & he’s like:: i CAnTTTtttTtTTttttT
  • so he tries a few jokes & you’re kind of giggling and he’s like “OH FUCH YEAH”
  • then he makes a joke about you going out w him & thats how it aalllllllllll started
  • i think that many dates would consist of u 2 riding bikes to places where you can watch the sunset
  • taking his glasses off his face when hes crying or just bc u want to try them on omg
  • and his eyes would b all squinty bc hes basically blind & hes rubbing them ooohhh lord
  • youd put them on and then hes like “damn my gf is hawt asf
  • sometimes u would get super annoyed bc he can never take anything serious
  • so when you have real issues to discuss with him, he’s like ‘ahHahahAhahhA right
  • & he’s awkward about it
  • HE SUCKS AT TALKING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS BUT IF HE DOES PLEASE LISTEN W YOUR WHOLE HERT AND EARS WIDE OPEN BC IT HAPPENS JUST ABOUT AS OFTEN AS PENNYWISE COMES OUT & EATS KIDS OKAY
  • he would never tell you how much u mean to him, or like how much he likes/loves you, which is y you’re always like ??? when he gets hella possessive
  • but u know deep down that he loves you even tho he doesn’t say it very often and would want u to b with him all the time if it was possible :’)
  • like when he would start to say something really sappy or sweet you would just kind of go ‘awww’ and grab his arm and wrap it around you
  • and he would b like ‘pssshhhhhhhhh you’re alright

Originally posted by imultifandomstuff

Dating JB would include

Originally posted by jaesbum

Im Jaebum

-the perfect man
-best friend relationship
-with tense moments in between
- ;)
-him taking pictures of you when you aren’t looking
-you getting mad and chasing him to delete it
-you’ll never succeed
-he’s too fast and will protect the precious moment he captured
-he needs someone who can handle him
-like legit probably get into arguments over the tiniest things
-“i swear you better not”
- ur gonna do it
- “you’re not the boss of me excuse”
- “Y/N don’t you da-”
- “are you going to stop me????”
- “don’t y/N STO-”
- “WATCH M E”
- “I SAID N O”
- meanwhile the boys are panicking in the other room because of all the yelling
- but when they come check it’s just you guys fighting bc of a video game
- “guys guys guys it’s just a ga-”
- both of you: “SHUT UP JACKSON NO ONE ASKED YOU”
- play fighting
- so many inside jokes
- you guys could be looking at one of the other members do something and give each other that look
- and burst out into laughter
- double dates w/ Youngjae
- he loves you two so mUCH
- in public the most you’ll get is hand holding
- but in closed spaces
- hEHEH
- he always has his arms around you
- pokes your legs
- your tummy
- and you slap his hands away
- but he keeps doing it bc it annoys you
- but mostly because he thinks you’re so c u t e and hot at the same time
- “you’re so cute jagiya”
- “hm?”
- “nothing”
- u heard and ur eternally blushing holy moly
- the boys adore you
- because their leader can get angry
- but u know how to calm him down
- and you aren’t scared to argue with him
- random gifts
- BOY ABOUT TO GIVE YOU A SCRAPBOOK
- IT’LL BE THE CUTEST THING
- So many pictures of you that you didn’t know about
- and of the two of you together
- of places where you guys visited
- pictures of you sleeping with lil captions that he wrote on the side
- when you’re sad he’ll hold you and tell you to stop being dumb
- and he’ll start making jokes about Jackson and BamBam probably
- and you can’t stay sad when you’re with him
-you’re his safe place and he’s yours
- you and Nora taking cat naps together
- and he thinks it’s the most precious thing in the world oh my god
- there are hardly any serious pictures of the two of you together
- you guys could spend hours laughing and making fun of each other
- if you live together beware
- there’s a silent ongoing prank war going on
- you’ll be coming out of the bathroom at night and he’s waiting outside to scare you
- “W HY ARE YO U LIKE TH I S”
- He’s dying with laughter on the floor
- “Yah jagi let me in im sORRY”
- the door slowly opens
- insert horror movie music
- “You can’t stay mad at m- OHMYFXKC”
-“THAT WASNT FAIR
- Now you’re laughing but u better run
- babygirl kind of guy
- you’ll be lying together in bed and he just gets real close
-starts whispering random things
- some not so random
- “c'monnn babygirl~”
- and he’ll smile right after
- late night car rides
- arcades
- clubs
- he’ll take you anywhere and everywhere
- you frame some of the pictures he takes
- and when he finds out about the pictures you have of him on your phone he tries to delete them
- but can’t figure out your password
- and whenever you fight with him he remembers about the pictures and can’t stay mad
- “I hate you get away from me”
- “You’re a horrible liar Y/N”
- “No I really do actually hate you”
- “Is that why you have all those pictures of me in your phone?”
- d e a t h g l a r e
- “you’re so cute when you’re mad”
- basically a relationship with Im Jaebum is filled with adventures and life and so much love that the two of you show in subtle ways
- whether it’s you listening to him sing and helping him through whatever he needs, big or small
- or him being your best friend and soulmate, always feeling the need to protect and love you
- you guys love each other like little kids and that’s all you could ever ask for

17408 Fansign:

- Mark said he had the ahgabong constantly on for 2-3 days
MK: it was on constantly I changed the battery before i went but its gone now

-  Jinyoung said because he didn’t play the games well yesterday, Youngjae made fun of him

-  Yugyeom said he wasn’t able to go to the Arbor Day event cuz he was sick F: dont be sick i was worried 

-  Youngjae said that he thinks that he will go back to black hair soon

-  Jinyoung said there isnt any perfume he is using lately

-  F: Why did u wear sth inside ur shirt for Paradise on GOT the stage JY: cuz the studio was cold & I didnt want to satisfy u guys’ desire

-  F: what r u doing for ur solo vapp? I heard the concept is sth ur not good at YJ: yup I didn’t decide yet what should i do?  F: (as a joke) driving? YJ: oh (to the staff) can I get my driving license for my vapp?

-  JB said his fav song in this album is Paradise

-  Mark said he didn’t eat things like bugs but he ate sth like a chicken and it was tasty that he ate in the jungle was delicious

-  They said they filmed Real GOT7 today before they came to the fansign

-  Yugyeom said on the days he plays bowling well he scores around 100 and usually around 70s

-  Fan asked if the cats get along well JB: they get along well they don’t fight for ranking Nora is top and Kunta and Odd is around the same

-  Jinyoung said for Zepp there isn’t a solo stage and it’s undecided for Yoyogi and Korean concert is also undecided

-  Fan asked Mark what he ate at the jungle Mark said he didn’t eat and that he was bitten by a bug so he had a bump on his face

-  WOLO will be release in a different album not on a concert album but the time is undecided yet

-  Bambam said his cafe in Thailand will open this month

-  Fan told Jackson that lot of fans were surprised from the photo Mama Wang uploaded cuz Jackson looked like his brother but he said he doesnt

-  Mark said it was hard sleeping that he really slept outdoors F: what about food did u really eat insects? MK: i didn’t eat it but it was fun

-  F: if you get a chance do you have thoughts on doing a musical? YJ: i want to do it

translation

Pizza Boy!Vernon

a/n: for sunflower anon! hope you don’t mind that i made it bulleted!! also this is like my second time writing a bulleted scenario so pls have mercy on me i’m trying to expand my capabilities  

Originally posted by sneezes


• okay but like does anyone remember that jonas brothers song
• i fell in love with the pizza girl ,,, now i eat pizza every day,,,
• BC that’s what i think it would be like if vernon was your pizza delivery boy
• okay from the beginning
•you’re a university student and exams have been destroying your happiness lately
• you want to die basically
• like you work so hard at your job and at studying that you NEVER get a break and it’s so,,, stifling,,, you just want to graduate and LEAVE
•so when you finally get a day without exams where you can just chill, you order pizza
• because why not??
• and since you’re ordering it online it has that lil box at the bottom that asks for special instructions
• at first you were gonna write the classic “send ur cutest delivery boy”
• but you didn’t really feel like fixing you hair and outfit to impress some pizza boy that probably wasn’t even cute in the first place tBH
• so you go with your second option: “pls tell me a quality pizza pun when u arrive. thx.”
• most of the time those pizza places don’t even pay attention to the requests unless it’s like an allergy mention or smth so u don’t really expect anything
• BUT BEHOLD
• when someone knocks on your apartment door you get up and head over w ur money
• you probably forgot that you even requested a pun lol
• you open your door to see a really cute delivery boy with a smile on his face

• “Why was the pizza shop not doing well?”

• u pause bc first of all what the heck
• then you remember your request and you excitedly ask him why
• so the boy just sort of gives you this dorky, satisfied grin and answers
• “They just weren’t rolling in the dough.”
• cue crickets
• bc like it was a good joke but it wasn’t /that/ good
• suddenly he’s embarrassed and red and he’s like “rlly let me try again i have better puns i prOmiSe!!!”
• since you’re feeling nice you let him try again
• “okay okay what did the angry customer give the pizzeria owner?”
• “wut”
• “a pizza his mind.”
• “that one was worst than the first one tbh”
• “NO WAY my puns are good”
• “mediocre at best”
• and the pizza delivery dude is not expecting a tip at this point bc you’re so freaking brutal abt his jokes that he searched the internet for on such short notice
• “pls im a college student w debt just have mercy on me”
• and now you’re actually giggling a bit bc did he think you weren’t gonna pay him??? like some kind of hooligan???
• please,,, you have class
• so you like hand over the money w his tip like “what’s ur name pizza boy”
• “it’s vernon”
• “makes sense. u look like a vernon”
• “is that an insult?”
• so he leaves and you’re happy bc of your pizza but also you’re kinda sad bc,,, dang,,, the pizza boy was cute and you didn’t even get his number,,,
• gUeSs yOuLL hAVe tO bUY mOrE pizZAs!!!1!11!1
• so that’s what you do and you don’t rlly know what to put under the special request to make sure you get vernon so
• you just kinda
• “send the boy with horrible puns pls”
• and everyone once again knows this is vernon bc no one tells horrible puns like he can
• so he’s back and you take more time to study his face bc he’s handsome obv 
• like just imagine his black hair tucked under a red pizza cap,, and his eyes are really dark in contrast to his boyish smile like wow. a visual.
• “who did your eyebrows?”
• “uh,,, myself? wait what does that mean??? what do they do to your eyebrows?”
• so you explain eyebrow beauty to him
where is this going destinee pick it up 
• and during this time he’s actually pretty fascinated but then gAsP he forgot to open with his pun!!!!!
• “What’s the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?”
• “…”
• “my pizza jokes can’t be topped!”
•“pretty sure they can be topped”
• “next time i’m going to conveniently forget your garlic sauce”
• “who said i was going to call you again, delivery boy??”
• hE cAnT wIN
• lowkey thinks you’re cute so he puts up with ur incessant teasing
• “what’s ur name anyway?”
• “y/n”
• “well, y/n, since we’re friends now do you wanna listen to my mixtape”
• VERNON WOULD DO THIS YOU GUYS KNOW
• he’s already pullin out a blank cd with some horrible handwriting on it
• nd you accept it but like,,,, what are you supposed to do???
• thank him??,??,,?
• anyway vernon leaves bc he is on the job and has to deliver other pizzas before they get cold ya know
• so,, since you’re bored,,, you listen to the mixtape while you eat ur pizza
• and like some of the songs are lowkey cringe but some of them are highkey good
• now what do you do
• tell the pizza guy you like his rap??
• is that too far?? like he said you guys were friends but,,,,,
• the next time he comes you tell him that you rlly liked his mixtape and behold!!!
• lil vernon is blushing!!! bc you’re one of the first people to compliment him on his songs and it makes him super happy and mushy inside like what a dweeb
• TIME SKIP
• you and vernon keep this delivery boy/customer friendship or whatever up bc it’s fun and you guys kinda sort of think each other are cute
•like ObViOuSlY bc vernon is a d o r a b l e
•and you’re practically an ANGEL
• *20 starts playing*
• anyway yeah one day you’re craving pizza again so you make your order
• and when it asks for any special instructions
• you type in
• “send the cute pun boy”
• as a joke but gET THIS
• YOU ACCIDENTALLY PRESS SEND BEFORE YOU CAN DELETE IT
• so like while you wait for vernon to arrive u r freaking out and sWeAtiNG bc vErNoN cAnT kNoW yoU liKe hiM !!!1!1
• that’s weird !!!!!
• your doorbell rings and you’re shaking as you open the door bc you’re sure you’ve just ruined ur friendship w him
• but like when you open the vernon is just,,, leaning against the doorframe,,, w a smirk on his lips and red ears to match his cap,,,,
• “you…called…me…cute…”
• nd suddenly he’s getting closer to you and his smile is widening like where did he get this confidence from???
• skkahdhs and just when you think he’s going to kiss you he whispers
• “d’you wanna hear another pun?”
• LIKE WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT VERNON
• but you gotta keep ur composure right so you reluctantly nod like yeah vernon!!! listening to your stupid puns is how i want to spend my time!!! definitely not kissing you!!! that’s for sure!!
• but this meme:
• “How do you know if you’re in love?”
• nd you stutter out a lil “what” bc is this just a joke or is he on to smth
• and he kinda smiles shyly and opens his pizza box
• “if they steal a pizza your heart!”
• you look down and the freakin pizza is shaped like a heart and has “will u go out w me?” written in pepperonis
• and it’s so cheesy
hehe get it?
• that you can’t help but laugh like “ofc i’ll go out w you dork”
• and you invite him in to share the pizza
• luckily you’re his last stop for the night so the two of you can stay up all night talking and laughing and sharing puns over pizza
• goals tbh

anonymous asked:

don't know if you watch pd101 but if you do could you pleaaaase write a kang daniel college!au? he has effectively ruined my life 🙃🙃🙃🙃

i do!! ill write a mini one for him ^^

  • major: public health + paramedic certificate because he wants to work as a part of an ER response team
  • sports: dance team, football team
  • is essentially the school sweetheart and everyone knows him as the guy who’d give you the shirt off his back if you asked
  • quite literally,,,,jisung played a joke once and asked daniel if he could borrow his shirt because his next period class was SUPER cold and daniel,,,,,,,,,,literally took off his shirt
  • rumor has it some chick fainted from the sight of his bare shoulders but no one knows if this was confirmed or not (seongwoo claims it totally is true)
  • but like he really does his best to try and help others out,,,especially freshman or younger students in the course who seem to be struggling with adjusting to like college life
  • he’s like the reliable big brother who is smiley and soft and will teach you silly dance moves on the quad
  • but is also super serious about helping people and isn’t scared of anything, from jumping into a fire to save someone in need of medical assistance to carrying people who’ve broken legs,,,,,,,
  • also let’s take a moment to imagine daniel in the paramedic like get up like the uniform,,,,thank u 
  • everyone thinks its super adorable that daniel’s first rescue story was saving his cat who got stuck in a tree
  • like how TYPICAL and CORNY but also,,,,,,he’s an angel who walks the earth amiright
  • seongwoo is always like “my bestfriend is going to be the next iron man~ captian,,,,where did you study again my dude??? canada?? captain CANADA” 
  • and daniel is like embarrassed but also,,,,,he loves his friends and is happy they support him but seriously captain canada thats worse than when jisung got the football team to refer to him as quarterback cat-lover
  • you’re actually one of the TAs for one of the tests in the paramedic course and there’s a requirement of paramedics being able to carry at least 125 pounds by themselves and you’re supposed to be checking off who can pick up the human dummy and who cant
  • and so you’re going down the list and ur like “next,,,,kang daniel?”
  • and you don’t look up when he steps over you just motion with your hand toward the dummy and you’re like “pick him up and walk three laps around the room”
  • and when you look up you almost drop your clipboard because ,,,, this handsome boy smiles and is like sure!! and uve never seen someone so happy to drag around a plastic human before
  • but there he is,,,,hosting the dummy up like it weighs n o t h i n g
  • and he turns to u and is like “can i try carrying two?” and ur like ,,,,uh,,,,,s,,,sure???
  • and once again he baffles you,,,picking up the other dummy and going on his merry way
  • and in what seems like the shortest period of time than everyone else you tested he does his three circles and stops in front of you
  • carefully setting the dummy’s down and wiping at his forehead,,,,that pretty grin on his face
  • and he’s like “all good??”
  • and ur like,,,,y,,,yes,,,,um,,,,,,,,yes you’re good
  • with a bow he says thanks and leaves the room and you’re like what,,,,,,who,,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • and you look down at his name again and you’re like “kang daniel,,,,,,,are you superhuman/!??!?!”
  • for the next week you can’t get him off your mind,,,and you’re sure it’s because he’s not only strong and cute but because you’ve been a TA for the program for this whole semester and no one has ever just looked that happy to do the tests
  • and one afternoon you’re eating lunch with a friend in the campus cafe when you spot daniel,,,,at a table with his health books stacked up near his tray (which is also stacked with food)
  • ad at some point ur friend is like heY,,, hEY stop staring you’re going to DROOL
  • and ur like !!!!!! WOOPS but they also nudge and are like “kang daniel huh? he’s cuuuuute~ go talk to him!!!” and ur like HA,,,I ,,,,,,,,wasn’tlookingathimiwaslookingathis,,,,,sandwich
  • and ur friend rolls their eyes but when u look back daniel???? is staring back at you
  • and when you make eye contact he perks up and waves and ur like ?????????? looking around and then pointing at urself and he nods and waves u over
  • and u get up and ur friend lets out a whistle as you go to sit beside him and ur like ,,,,hey,,,, and he smiles again and the way his cheeks go up and his teeth show is SO DAMN CUTE
  • and he’s like “not to sound full of myself but i noticed you were looking at me for a while, whats up?”
  • and you,,,,,,almost dIE of embarrassment on the spot because oh frick he saw you
  • but you’re also like o,,,oh i ,,,i was just,,,,,um,,,,,,ur the guy who carried two dummies at the test a week ago??? and i was like oH is that you or not you you kno-
  • but daniel just chuckles and closes his book 
  • and he’s like “yep that was me,,,,,but i dont think thats why you were looking.”
  • and you feel ur mouth go dry and you’re like i,,,, um– but daniel just points to your friend with his pen and is like “do you think they’ll be ok with me stealing you away for a little date to the movie tonight?”
  • and ur like!!!!!!!!! ,,,, o,,,oh and u look at ur friend who just shooting hearts and thumbs up at u
  • and daniel is like lol they remind me of jisung but ur also like ,,,, i,,,i think ,,, they’ll be ok with that
  • and daniel winks,,,handing you the pen and rolling up his sleeve
  • and he’s like “here, write your number down and ill call u to set up a time”
  • and u cant believe it as you’re scribbling down ur number,,,,,but it’s true he calls u around 7 and u guys go see a movie and it’s adorable and daniel is a gentleman through and through paying for everything,,,,,telling you he likes the way you look all serious during the dramatic scenes,,,,holding your hand when he takes you back to your dorm
  • even a light kiss on your forehead,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it’s a dream come true
  • dating college!daniel: he is really good in all his classes but he tends to be LATE so he’s always rushing in the morning but he never fails to send you a ‘good morning, i love you’ text, doesnt really like coffee so u get into the habit of buying him smoothies and he thinks its cute how u remember this about him also those smoothies are really good for his vegetable intake u are so thoughtful, you and daniel adopt the newest paramedic trainee woojin, daniel is suchhhhh a tease he always sneaks up behind you when ur studying to wrap u up in his arms and kiss on your neck, jisung always makes faces when u guys pda but tbh he loVES seeing daniel so happy with you, seongwoo is like “im his original soulmate” but he’s just joking hehe, daniel sends u pics of cats he sees on the street, you guys get matching rings like a month into it because kang daniel goes HARD for love, favorite dates range from laser tag to night fireworks on the beach, thinks its cute when you wear his flannels to class or during finals because u guys are both studying and u cant see him so often but they remind you of him, daniel takes you with him to get his first tattoo and u hold his hand the whole time, he’s kinda bad at realizing he isnt invincible so sometimes ull find scrapes on him and have to bandage him up, did anyone say morning after laughter under the sheets: yeah i did for KANG DANIEL who loves skinship and YOU 
A-Z NSFW: Kyungsoo

Originally posted by sekaisoosgirl

Cr.

Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 
Regardless of the boyish banter he has with EXO, punchin Chan in the gut n all, we all know KSoo is literally the softest human alive. Boy acts like Spike but we all know he’s more like Gizmo. He’s secretly motherly, and almost has fun making sure you’re clean and sated and happy afterwards, plus he’s a cuddler, and what’s better after sex than KSoo cuddles?

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 
I feel like KSoo is a complicated guy. He’s faux confident, he wants to be okay with himself but he’s still kind of self conscious. The boy ain’t flashed us like BaekYeol but we can all see he’s been working out and pretty toned. I feel like he’s weirdly proud of his arms, especially when he gets to cage you in with them. With you, he oddly likes your hands, he loves how they fit together chansoo hand size difference tho b y e and he likes intertwining your fingers and holding your hands above you head when he’s got you on your back. 

C = Cum 
I don’t think KSoo is a particularly naughty or messy kind of guy, he’s not a mess maker when he cums. Ideally, it’s almost always in a condom #RubberUpKids but the few off times he isn’t inside you, he finishes on your tummy most of the time.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 
Honestly, with all the SatanSoo and KSoo hatin EXO n beating them up jokes that suck butt stop saying them theyre not funny at all f u c k o f f it’s pretty unexpected that KSoo is kind of sort of really submissive, so he hides that quite a bit. But I expect it’ll slip out, it won’t stay hidden long tbh.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
I feel like I’ve said this before, but being broken up with because he was “clingy” and never got candy on Valentine’s Day or whatever, he’s kind of withdrawn from girls? I think he’s pretty awkward and beyond porn, he doesn’t have any hands on experiences. But you’ll just have to teach him…won’t you….

F = Favorite position
Contrary to belief, KSoo isn’t the kinkiest man to walk the earth, sometimes quiet people are just quiet people. He’s pretty basic honestly, missionary, doggy, you riding him, that’s pretty much the only things in his book. He’s pretty fond of relaxing back against the headboard and having you settled on his lap and taking you that way.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
KSoo’s kind of a meme in your relationship. In the bedroom, generally he’s pretty serious. Especially the first few times you slept together, or any time you want to try something new, he’s so incredibly focused that there’s no room for jokes. He does get pretty giggly if you’re having a weirdly fun/ meme day, but on the norm he’s focused on giving both of you the most pleasurable time he can.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
KSoo strikes me as a pretty clean guy, I mean the dudes almost bald anyways, and what flashes we get, his lil tummy is pretty smooth. I don’t think he’s bare though, but he definitely trims well.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
While he’s pretty serious in the bedroom, he’s really loving and mushy with you; both in your sexual relationship and non-sexual. KSoo’s not one to go over the top with his affection though, we know he’s a quiet lover from how EXO talks about him. He’s a holding hands, eye contact, gentle kisses, whispering sweet nothings kind of guy.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)
KSoo’s a very secret mastubater, he can do it in record speed, oddly enough. He’s one that hides out in the bathroom, or during a shower, thankful for the lock on the bathroom door. Unless you knew what he was up to, anyone would think he’s just going to the bathroom. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
[Back to Dirty Secret] He’s not much of a kinky guy, he’s definitely someone you can call vanilla. But he’s actually kind of submissive, not to the point of like…letting you tie him up and spank him….but he likes to just lay back and hold on for dear life while he lets you have complete control. Also, he’s kinda slap happy with Chan so I can imagine him being semi into spanking you, too.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
Knowing that Chan is a little shit that eggs KSoo on till he jumps the tree boy, he knows literally no where is really safe since the amazon kid can pick locks. The bedroom is the only play anything goes down, even the bathroom isn’t on the list because 1. he’s terrified of someone getting hurt. 2. chan’s ass likes picking locks. 3. you’ll need another shower when you’re done and the warm waters all gone from shower fucking.  

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Honestly, he just likes you coming onto him in full force. KSoo’s a bit hesitant with legit PDA(like kissing) so when you take the initiative and kiss him, touch him, or just plain ol’ tell him you wanna go home and fuck, he’s kind of latched to your back to hide his boner. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Tying anyone up makes him semi anxious, he’s one that reads in depth about toys or positions you try to see what he’s getting into, and stories about lost hand cuff keys or ropes incorrectly used cutting off circulation scare him a lot. He’s not down for the risk.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
I don’t…trust his mouth…He may be quiet but when he talks, that tongue does some damage. At first he’s pretty messy, not even really pleasurable but he’s easily taught and now it’s almost a punishment for you to have his tongue on you. Tbh since you’re pretty much the dominant one he lets you do whatever you want, but he’s certainly not going to say no to a bj.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
In general it’s your pace that’s in question. Typically, his pace is more slow and sensual, almost lazy with his thrusts regardless of the position you’re in. He likes watching you anticipate him sinking his length back into you, relaxing slightly when he pulls out and squirming with need when he thrusts back in again.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He’s not the biggest fan of quickies, he’s a lazy lover you could say. So he doesn’t like how quickies force you to be…well, quick…and being quick nearly always sacrifices the true fun of being able to spend an unrestricted amount of time with your body. A few times they’ve come up, but he doesn’t really like them.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
From location, to Wild Card, he’s not very risky. He thoroughly researches anything you bring up or want to try, just to see what’s supposed to be done and how to do everything properly. A lot of things get brushed off because he’s sure he won’t do it right and end up hurting you, so in most cases, he’s not really a risk taking guy. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
KSoo’s another ‘fuck all night’ member, he doesn’t cum very quickly, and he stretches out foreplay for quite a while too. Part of the reason he likes a slower pace is so the feeling can build and intensity rises over your time in the sheets.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
[See Risk and NO] He doesn’t and most likely won’t own many toys, they make him nervous tbh, he doesn’t want to use anything that could and will fuck up and hurt you unless he’s used to using it on you. The most he’ll use is a few vibratorshis logic is well if my dick doesnt hurt you then this dick lookin thing wont either

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Because you’re usually in charge, he’s not that much of a tease. Really KSoo isn’t even if he’s in charge, he’d say he’s just the right amount of a teaser. Oral is pretty much the only teasing thing he does.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
We all know KSoo is a vocal god, he’s got the cords to let some good shit go in the bedroom. He’s not very loud, though, but he is very vocal. He’s more of a low moaner and talker, he likes whispering sweet nothings to you but having you squirming around on his lap drags quite a few moans out of ya boy.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
The reason he’s so paranoid about locked doors, happened because of being on tour. Being in a hotel room with several other members at a time doesn’t exactly leave one with some alone time. Everyone suddenly needs to pee whenever he made a move for the bathroom, so when Suho took the boys to eat and he opted to stay in he thought he’d finally be alone for a while. However….5 minutes in with his pants around his ankles and a picture you’d sent him pulled up on your phone…Chan decided to pop back it…wasn’t a good night for anyone…

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Jesus Christ Nana says KSoo ain’t that big. According to her, he’s actually on the shorter side of the spectrum, but he’s thicc bye 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
KSoo’s childhood GF broke up with him because ‘he’s clingy’ or whatever, I do think he’ll be exceptionally clingy in your relationship too. He’s always ready for you and needs you pretty much at any given moment. I think he has a weirdly high sex drive, he’s just good at keeping it hidden and under control.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
I imagine KSoo as a really cuddly bby, especially after sex, he falls asleep fairly quickly. As soon as aftercare is checked off the list, he’s snuggled under the blankets with his arms around you, satisfied, content, and ready for nap time.

donghyuck to mark after high school rapper:

EXO’s Reaction to Your Eyes Turning Cold in an Argument

Xiumin:

Xiumin would immediately notice your change in expression and end the fight there, saying you two could figure it out later when you’ve both had time to yourselves to think about it. He wouldn’t apologize for the argument, knowing it was both of your faults, but would try his best to solve the problem maturely while making sure you were ok.

Chen:

Seeing your eyes change so drastically would surprise Chen at first, however he wouldn’t back down from his position. It wasn’t until the argument was completely over that he’d gently talk to you about it, making sure you were ok and everything was good between you two.

Baekhyun:

Baekhyun would cut himself off and immediately end the argument, not wanting to push it any further. “Are you okay? I’m sorry. The fight was stupid,” he’d quickly say, holding your hands in his. He’d smile at you, trying to brighten the mood and show you that the argument wasn’t important–what was more important was your guys’ relationship.

Chanyeol:

Not realizing the sudden change in you, Chanyeol would finish his statement before looking at you. “Jagi?” His eyebrows would furrow in concern as he gently cupped your face in his hands. He’d completely drop the argument, quickly making up with you and spending the rest of the day reconciling.

Lay:

Seeing the blank look in your eyes would scare Lay, and he’d immediately overthink it and assume you wanted to break up. Tears would start to form in his eyes, and it wasn’t until you assured him that you were ok that he’d nod and show you a small smile.

D.O:

Like Chen, D.O would stand his ground even after your change in expression. He was just as upset, and would opt to give you some alone time as the two of you thought about it. Later he’d take you out to dinner and discuss what had happened, wanting to stay on good terms with you.

Suho:

Suho would have a hard time dropping the argument, however when he realized the effect it was having on you he’d push it aside to make sure you were ok. “This was stupid. I’m sorry,” he’d murmur, pulling you in for a hug and kissing your cheek. He’d make sure you two spent some time together talking it through and making up.

Kai:

Kai would hardly notice your change in expression as he was preoccupied with his own annoyance as well.  He’d tell you that he needed time to think by himself, and when he came back he’d kiss you and ask that you were ok. He’d make sure to take you out to dinner and joke with you until the light returned to your eyes.

Sehun:

Not usually good with apologies, Sehun would make an exception when he saw your eyes grow cold. “Shit–I’m sorry jagi, this was stupid,” he’d stammer, grabbing you and puling you against him. Throughout the week he’d text you, checking in and making sure you were fine. He’d buy you your favorite snack just to make sure.

BTS Reaction to you wanting a threesome with Bang PD

request: bts reaction to you asking for a threesome with bang pd nim

Sure dude ;) enjoy!


Jin

I don’t think Jin would mind - as long as you still love him, and don’t fall in love with a 47 year old he’d say yes.

 “Okay, but only because I love you.”

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Yoongi

Yoongi will be wet also wouldn’t mind. You were texting Shin Hyuk about it, and when you told Yoongi about the idea, he’d simply nod.

“Sure” “But don’t touch his face, arms, legs, elbows, head, and shoulders knees and toes knees and toes”

Originally posted by meanyoongis

i love that song

Hoseok

Hoseok would find it sO funny at first, but only because he thought you were joking. But after showing him your Atlantic Ocean filled pantiz he would smirk and say

“You want me and Bang PD to bang you good, right?” pun included

Originally posted by seokjins-wings

Namjoon

Oh. these 2 guys are the perfect combination for a very erotic night. And Namjoon being Namjoon, he would indeed agree. Oh girl you wouldn’t wanna miss this occasion ;)

“That’s it, now grind on Bang PDaddy’s fat belly whilst you suck me off” “Good girl”

Originally posted by you-made-me-again

are u wet yet ;)

Jimin

Jimin would think its very weird. He wouldn’t want to be involved in such a situation. Bang PD is like a father daddy to him. You missed the chance with this guy :(

“oh hell no”

Originally posted by senpai-sisters

Taehyung

HIM. He is all about that weird shit. It has come to your suprise that he wanted to do it for a long time also. He would take you to the bedroom and another surprise came to you as you saw Bang PD on your bed wearing nothing but a lingerie and a blonde wig.

*ties you up with a gucci tie” “Let’s play” ;);)

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Jungkook

I don’t need to speak for y’all. This is his reaction.

Originally posted by phanunicorn


am i stupid or am i stupid

anonymous asked:

omg okay so i love your blog so much and your v headcanons everytime you guys headcanon him i cry bc its so great ahh can i ask you for just any general v headcanons or v and mc headcanons bc happiness on v is my favorite thing tysm!!

A/N: i LiVe FoR v Hc’S AAAAAAAAAAAA (also thanks 626 for your contribution of like 7 points sorry not sorry i took all the ideas) ~Admin 404

SADKFHKDSJFHSDF MY HUSBAND ~ Admin 626


-He’s the type of guy to have those cute little DIY string thingies that holds up photos strung around his house

-Also the type of guy to have those random, brightly coloured, porcelain animal figurines in his house

-His closet is actually really monochromatic??? Like he’s a bright person already, he doesn’t need to have bright clothes as well

-HE HAS THE WORST PICTURES OF YOU IN A SEPARATE PHOTO ALBUM, HIDDEN AWAY- SERIOUSLY THERE’S SOME WITH YOU LIKE MID-SNEEZE AND IN THE MIDDLE OF TAKING A BITE OF FOOD WHY DOES HE DO THIS

-Everyone thinks he’s so sweet 24/7 but he’s actually pretty sassy and lowkey sarcastic if he’s being himself

-Complete pacifist UNLESS you intend to hurt the ones closest to him, then he gets pretty scary

-Tries to take selfies with his sister but they come out terrible and she makes fun of him for it

-Also tries to selfie with you and you send the funniest ones to his sister (again, makes fun of him)

-Has so many of his mum’s art pieces hanging in his house!!

-Animals love him!!! That’s why he has such great pictures of them on his camera!

-Sort of unorganized; he has a full drawer full of SD cards but none of them are labeled so he has no idea what’s on them unless he plugs them in

-You have to help him pick out his outfits sometimes because he’S SO BAD AT IT, V YOU CAN’T WEAR CAMO AND STRIPES WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

-I CAN TOTALLY SEE HIM WITH A PET HEDGEHOG AND HE NAMES IT SOMETHING SILLY LIKE SONIC

-Closet nerd, he loves Lord of the Rings, the scENERY, MC, IT’S BEAUTIFUL

-Once got stuck in a tree trying to scare you and you needed to call Jumin to come help him down. Vowed not to try and scare you from then on

-Has a TON of ugly sweaters and literally thinks they’re the cutest things ever

-Likes to try ANY cute DIY food video he comes across (buT V WE CAN’T EAT ALL OF THIS)

- this little nerd will leave you sweet notes all over the house!!! He thinks you make the cutest faces when you find them <3

- he has this really cute silly side to him that he only shows to you???

- like he’ll smack your forehead randomly and act like it wasn’t him at all but he bursts out laughing bc your glare is far from threatening

- his laugh is like heaven

- He puts eyes on literally every food item in your refrigerator as a prank but it’s actually really cute because he draws faces on them too

- Sooo many dumb jokes and you hate and love them all

- “What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel”

- sometimes u wanna kill him

- He signs up for every class that can make him “a better version of himself” smh this guy is trying to better himself??? Who does he think is

- art classes, photography classes, fitness classes, cooking classes, litERALLY EVERYTHING

- he drags you with him because he loves u <3

Lawyer!Woozi

Requested by anon: Woozi for lawyer!au Hehe thanks! 

This was one of the more popular choices when yall voted! I was sure that woozi aus weren’t that popular but my street musician au blew up?? as did this au when people voted??? ever since i made this blog you guys have never ceased to amaze me I LOVE YOU ALL!!! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS PIECE FROM YOUR FAV MOM!!!

warnings: a Manly Jihoon that turns into a Blushy Jihoon with bad jokes

  • Ok yall im in mock trial so this is some real legit stuffz but i don’t know everything so it’s obviously not completely accurate!
  • This au got quite a lot of votes, a lot more than i expected
  • Here we will explore the concept of Manly Jihoon
  • Let’s get moving!!!!!
  • You’ve been in your current law firm for a few years now
  • You ain’t even an attorney you just file papers rip
  • You’re like i am s O D ON E with this job hahahah :)))))
  • Your office job is like the typical ones you hear about that make you wanna yawn bc they’re just sO B OR I N G
  • #savereader2k17
  • Additionally to your office job, you’re also lowkey a personal assistant for the one and only,,,,,,
  • You guessed it
  • Lee Jihoon
  • The bEST of the best attorneys ever to exist, at least for the defense
  • We’re talking about high-scale crimes that you would only imagine happening, like big scandalous murder cases in mystery novels and movies

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Ñoomñoom~ Can u do a scenario where daniel and you have the same friends but somehow never got to know each other and one day your friends introduces you to each other bc they think you look good together and rlly end up together??

  • the mutual friend is seongwoo is anyone surprised
  • you and seongwoo are like high school pals who kept in touch and yall meet up at times to just play around
  • and one day u 2 are at ur house playing mario kart and ur both screaming things like fIGHT ME MOTHERFRICK E R and I’LL RIP UP OUR BRO CONTRACT IF U USE A BANANA PEEL ONE MORE TIME I STG
  • after like 19 rounds u two just flop onto the floor laughing and seongwoo’s like “man you and daniel would hit it off so well tho” and ur like “is that ur boyfriend who i never knew about” and seongwoo’s like “i wish no he’s a friend - hey come to think of it i’ve never introduced u guys”
  • he jokes that he never did bc you’d instantly snatch daniel away from him bc u 2 are actually rly compatible and ur like smh stop you know that’s not true and he’s like oh so u don’t believe my 100% accurate intuition is that it
  • and that’s how seongwoo organized for the three of u to hang out next sunday
  • coughs WINGMAN SEONGWOO
  • at first you’re like ehhh daniel’s probably just gonna be another friend tho
  • but :^)))) ofc not 
  • when you met him and he gave u that award winning bunny teeth smile you were snatched
  • you: OKAY LISTEN HE MIGHT BE RLY CUTE AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME BUT HE’S NOT GONNA LIKE ME SO I MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP HERE
  • but the entire day was just seongwoo making you two sit together on the bus and disappearing to the bathroom like 14 times
  • all the times when you’re left alone with daniel he seems to like??? easily bring up a conversation
  • easy things like “so how’d you meet seongwoo?” 
  • tbh yall were just talking shit abt that boi the whole day LOL
  • exchanges numbers afterward eyyy
  • seongwoo: called it
  • you: WE’RE JUST FRIENDS
  • and as the days progress you and daniel….u know, get closer and closer and are able to find more topics to talk abt other than seongwoo
  • the first time that you and daniel hung out alone wasn’t as awkward as you thought
  • daniel (who was the one to initiate the idea) was like…you know, i never thought i’d find someone who i can get along with this well
  • you, the clueless moron: lol yeah i know seongwoo’s an amazing friend
  • daniel: no i’m talking abt you
  • you, the clueLESS M OR O N: ohh yeah lol thanks i never thought that we could get along so well too!!
  • daniel:
  • daniel: i mean that i
  • daniel: um
  • daniel: like you
  • you:
  • daniel: like, i LIKE like you
  • you:
  • three hours later seongwoo spammed your phone
  • seongwoo: I CALLED THIS 5 MONTHS AGO YOU OWE ME DINNER
  • you: WE NEVER HAD A BET ON THIS DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT