tyrone edwards

AIGHT SO

As stated previously, my job is to drum up excitement for the Sinclair Mansion. Problem is, there’s a lot of stuff I ain’t allowed to talk about yet due to plot spoilers and Salad has already shown off most of the characters. 

BUT

What Salad has neglected to do is give a good idea as to what their personalities are like. This is where I come in. And what better way to do it than in shitpost format (at least for the ones that I have more than a passing knowledge of)!

MASKY DADDY

- Will make you sandwiches for being a good little boi                                        

- Tries so hard but the world says fuk u                                                              

- Ugly as sin                                                                                                        

- I drink to forget but I always remember                                                            

- Just wants to sleep but nobody else works in this damn house

VOLUPTUOUS MAN TIDDY

- He big                                                                                                               

- Like     rly big                                                                                                    

- Dark Backstory ™                                                                                        

- What is sex?                                                                                                     

- He’s a nice guy really (sometimes…maybe)

SMOL FUCK

- Will fight u, stub his toe, and then cry for three hours                                      

- Really just wants a hug                                                                                     

- Tries to pay his child support                                                                           

- Has an odd attraction to abusive weirdo’s                                                       

- Don’t let him near yo kids

ICE ICE BABY

- Is everyone’s father                                                                                          

- Is the embodiment of daddy kinks                                                                    

- Dont u touch his baby girls or he cut u                                                             

- Loves (almost) all his children                                                                        

- Master Chef Gordon Ramsey, not Hell’s Kitchen Gordon Ramsey

420 BLAZIN IT

- Your daughter calls me daddy too~                                                                  

- Very racist                                                                                                        

- If there is a drug he’s been on it                                                                      

- Crying on the inside                                                                                          

- Needs to lose em dreads srsly                                                                         

DOUG DIMMADOME OWNER OF THE DIMSDALE DIMMADOME

- Doesn’t really own it but doesn’t really care                                                     

- Would kill u for a potato chip                                                                           

- Dangerous without his morning tea                                                                  

- Could actually be the Queen of England                                                          

- Asshole

POLLY WANT A CRACKER

- Would kill you for blinking in his general direction                                            

- I had fun once, it was a traumatic experience                                                  

- Literally had kids and then forgot about them                                                  

- Refuses to pay child support                                                                           

- RA RA RASPUTIN LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN

SUPER WEENIE HUT JR.

- Tries to be cool but fails                                                                                  

- Has the ultimate daddy kink                                                                            

- tfw ur lover from an alt universe don’t love u no more                                      

- literal baby all the time                                                                                     

- Your son calls me daddy too

LITERALLY PERFECT CHILD

- Did nothing wrong                                                      

- What are parents?                                                                                          

- Just wants to watch Disney in peace                                                                

- Like actually did nothing wrong                                                                        

- Raised by his brother who isn’t his brother


That’s about all I got for ya. Hopefully this stirs some excitement. Have a lovely evening y’all

i-am-forever--bored  asked:

Tbh I have no idea who Bellamy is besides what you've wrote of him so could you please explain?

*cracks knuckles*

Okay. So. Bellamy was a practicing lawyer (and he later enlisted in the army in 1776) that Burr started corresponding with around 1775. I believe they knew each other because Burr knew Bellamy’s father, who mentored Burr in theological training. Bellamy’s parents were Rev Dr. Joseph Bellamy and Frances Sherman. I believe he also had three (?) siblings.

There really isn’t much out there about Bellamy except what we know of him from the letters him and Burr sent to each other, and from letters his father wrote as well.

Here are two letters that Bellamy wrote to Burr, taken from Memoirs of Aaron Burr by Matthew Livingston Davis;

“My dearest Soldier, I was infinitely surprised to hear from you in the army. I can hardly tell you what sensations I did not feel at the time. Shall not attempt to describe them, though they deprived me of a night’s sleep. But that was not spent altogether unhappily. My busybody, /Fancy/, led me a most romantic chase; in which, you may be sure, I visited your tent; beheld you (unnoticed) musing on your present circumstances, apparently agitated by every emotion which would naturally fill the heart of one who has come to the resolution to risk his life for his country’s freedom. You will excuse my mentioning, that from a deep, absent meditation, partly expressed by half-pronounced soliloquies, I beheld you start up, clap your hand upon your sword, and look so fiercely, that it almost frightened me. The scene, on your discovering me, immediately changed to something more tender; but I won’t waste paper. […] It rains, my boy, excessively. Does it not drop through your tent? Write often to [me].” Jonathan Bellamy to Aaron Burr, August 17th, 1775.

“My very dear friend, be you yet alive? I have been infinitely distressed for you; but I hope it is now safe with you as glorious. Doctor Jim Cogswell has left the army. A few days ago I received a letter from him. ‘I doubt not,’ he says, ‘you have most sensible pleasure in the applauses bestowed on our friend Burr; when I hear of his gallant behaviour, I feel exquisite delight.’Curse on this vile distance between us. I am restless to tell you everything, but uncertainty, whether you would ever hear it, bids me be silent, till in some future happy meeting I may hold you to my bosom, and impart every emotion of my heart.” - Jonathan Bellamy to Aaron Burr. Norwich, March 3rd, 1776.

These are the only mentions of Bellamy by Aaron in the book;

“He is one of the cleverest fellows I have to deal with. Sensible, a person of real humor, and is an excellent judge of mankind, though he has not had the opportunity of seeing much of the world.” - Burr to Matthias Ogden.

“My faithful Correspondent, my best, my, (almost), only Friend, is, alas, no more — J. Bellamy’s Death gave me Feelings, which few Deaths can ever renew.” - Burr to his sister Sally, 1777.

Unfortunately, Bellamy died of smallpox on January 4th, 1777 around the age of 24/25 before he was able to reunited with friends and family. He is buried in Litchfield County, Connecticut. 

In the book, The Works of Joseph Bellamy by Tyron Edwards, it is stated that Jonathan was “the favorite child of Dr. Bellamy” and the book shows the letter Bellamy’s father wrote to the woman who housed Bellamy when he got sick before passing away of smallpox:

“Mrs. Swesse: At your house, our deceased son, Jonathan Bellamy, was sick and died; and we have been informed of the great tenderness and abundant kindness, with which, stranger as he was, was treated by your good mother, by you, by Dr. C, and by all the family […] And God Almighty bless the humane, the kind Dr. C, and may the last words of my dying son to him be fulfilled: “I hope to meet you in heaven.” Perhaps never was a son dearer to his parents and friends.” - Joseph Bellamy, February 4th, 1777.

That’s pretty much all that is known about Jonathan Bellamy (or at least all I can find).