Autism is a natural variation of human neurology which is categorized as a developmental disability. About 1% of the worlds population is autistic. Autism is a lifelong condition meaning that autistic people are born autistic and that they will die autistic. You cannot “catch autism” or “become autistic” like you can risk becoming mentally or physically ill - neither vaccines or heavy metals or gluten will make you autistic if you aren’t born with it. You also can’t cure autism or recover from it - but all autistic people can live fulfilling, happy lives with the right accommodations so an autism diagnosis isn’t the death sentence that many people make it out to be. Autism isn’t a diagnosis which can be clearly separated from who you are and how you see the world - it affects every aspect about of how you think about, experience and interact with the world around you. There are many different aspects of being autistic which makes it hard to summarize the condition, but I’ll do my best to introduce you to some of the common autistic traits and experiences in this post.
Sensory processing. Autistic people’s sensory processing is different from most people’s sensory processing. This means that autistic people may be over- or undersensitive to different sensory input. This means that we may have trouble with sounds, touches, smells, tastes, etc that most people can easily tolerate or block out or that we may seek out loud music, blinking lights, bright colors, spicy food, strong smells and activities which provide physical activity and deep pressure. Many autistic people lack the filter that most people have which makes them able to block out background sounds, meaning that the ticking of a clock, the buzzing from a lamp or two people having a conversation nearby might make us unable to focus on what we’re supposed to be focusing on. This means that many autistic people will have trouble focusing in situations with lots of sensory input, for example situations where many people are gathered together, and that we are more easily overwhelmed and stressed out by different sensory input than allistic (non-autistc) people.
Stimming. Stimming is short for self-stimulatory behavior, meaning a behavior which is meant to stimulate one of your senses. Some common stims are rocking back and forth, bouncing your legs or feet, hand flapping, hand wringing and repeating words and sentences, but a stim can be any kind of repeated movement or action which stimulates one of your senses. Stimming can thus be many different things - you can stim by smelling, touching, watching, moving, tasting and listening. The reason why autistic people stim is tied up in the fact that autistic people’s sensory processing tend to be atypical - when there’s a lot of overwhelming, stressing sensory input, providing your own repeated sensory input by listening to a song on repeat or rocking back or forth or smelling something you like the smell of may help you focus and calm down. Autistic people also stim to express emotions - it’s a natural part of our body language just like smiling or frowning is a natural part of most people’s body language. We may jump up and down and flap our hands when excited where most people would simply smile, or we may rock back and forth and press our hands against our faces where other people would cry. That being said, an autistic person doesn’t need a certain, deep reason for stimming - we often do it simply because it’s fun and because it feels good.
Shutdowns and meltdowns. Shutdowns and meltdowns are both responses to extreme distress - they’re often caused by unpleasant, overwhelming sensory input that the autistic person in question is unable to escape, but they can also be caused by strong negative emotions. A meltdown is an outward reaction to said distress where a shutdown is an inwards reaction. An autistic person having a meltdown is a person who has reached a point where they are no longer in control of their own body - they’re experiencing an flight or fight response, so to say. An autistic person may scream, lash out, cry, smash things and run away during a meltdown. Shutdowns are another possible response to a similar situation - during those, the autistic person may become unresponsive, locked in place, unable to talk, etc. You should never get mad at autistic people or hold them responsible for having meltdowns and shutdowns - they’ve reached a place where they’re so distressed that they’re losing control of themselves and instead of distressing them further, you should help them escape or resolve what’s causing the distress - after you have given them plenty of time to calm down and recover, that is.
Trouble with non-verbal communication such as body language, facial expressions and tone of voice. Autism is a disability which affects communication and the ability to socialize, meaning that autistic people may have trouble reading, using and comprehending body language, facial expressions and tone of voice just like they may have trouble learning, conforming to and applying social rules. We may not be able to take a hint that someone’s not interested in talking to us just like we may not notice when someone’s interested in us romantically or sexually. We have trouble noticing when other people are bored or tired or sad or angry and we might thus often come across as uncaring or annoying in social situations. Our trouble with reading other people and seeing the nuance in their body language, facial expressions and tone of voice also means that many autistic people have trouble grasping sarcasm, irony and metaphors.
Trouble with words and speech. Most autistic people have some degree of trouble with expressing their thoughts and opinions through spoken words.This is because most of us don’t naturally think in words - we may experience, think about and process the world around us in pictures or sensory experiences and we may thus have trouble transforming those input and experiences into words. We may also have trouble with the process of speaking, not because there’s something physically wrong with us but because we can have trouble with making our throats and mouths pronounce the words or because we may have trouble with going from thinking a word to succeeding with the process of actually saying it out loud. It’s common for autistic people to have periods where they aren’t able to speak - we call it going nonverbal - and some autistic people can’t speak at all. That doesn’t mean that they can’t think or communicate, though - they may instead communicate via written words, text to speech apps, facilitated typing, sign language, picture boards, etc.
Executive dysfunction. Executive functioning is what allows us to go from thinking about or wanting to do something to actually doing it, it’s what makes us able to keep the different steps required to complete a task straight in our heads and it’s what makes us able to plan and focus on different tasks. Autistic people often have trouble with executive functioning which makes many everyday tasks that most people can just do without thinking twice about it really hard. Imagine that you want to do laundry but your brain doesn’t automatically come up with the steps required to complete the task - take the laundry basket to the washing machine, open the washing machine, put clothes into the washing machine, add soap, etc - instead you’re just standing there, knowing that you somehow have to go from dirty laundry to clean clothes without knowing how to go about it. This is a problem for many autistic people which makes many everyday tasks hard or impossible to do without help. We may need someone to prompt us to do what we need to do or we may need someone to talk us through the steps or we may need visual or written instructions which illustrate the steps required to complete a certain task. Executive dysfunction is the main reason why many autistic people have trouble with basic, everyday tasks that most people their age can easily do without help.
Special interests. Many autistic people have a topic or a thing that they’re deeply, passionately interested in. Some autistic people compare having a special interest to being in love - it’s what your mind drifts to when there’s nothing else to occupy it, it’s the only thing you want to talk about, it’s the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning and it’s the last thing you think of before you fall asleep. This intense level of interest and passion often allows autistic people to excel in their areas of interest even when they may have trouble with basic everyday tasks. Some autistic people have special interests that lasts a life time, other people experience that their special interests change every couple years or maybe every couple months - or in some cases, every couple weeks. Some autistic people have one special interest at a time, other autistic people have many special interests.
Routines. Since the world is often very chaotic and confusing for autistic people due to our atypical sensory processing and our struggles with executive dysfunction and social interaction, many autistic people rely on routines to create a sense of order in a confusing and chaotic world. We usually like to do the same things in the exact same way every day and if something breaks our routine or if something unexpected happens - or if somebody suggests an impulsive trip to the beach on a day where we hadn’t expected to do anything but the usual - it may result in shutdowns or meltdowns. If you want an autistic person to break or change their routine it’s recommended that you warn them in good time and that you give them plenty of time to prepare and adjust.
Unique points of view and different ways of thinking. Due to the fact that autistic people experience the world so differently from how most people experience it, we see the world from a different angle - often allowing us to come up with ideas or thoughts or input or solutions that you wouldn’t get anywhere else. Autistic people often have unique points of view and unusual ways or thinking and learning and this is often a strength - as we say in the autistic community, we are different, not less.
I’ve now summarized some of the more common autistic traits and I hope that this post gave you a better understanding of what autism is and what it means to be autistic. Feel free to reblog and share this post far and wide if you found it helpful or educational.
aquiver (adj.) [uh-kwiv-er] in a state of trepidation or vibrant agitation; trembling; quivering
• pairing: min yoongi x
reader • genre/warnings: mature
themes, talk of masturbation, smut, language, some type of fluff • words: 10,909 → summary: Yoongi can’t
remember the last time he was able to successfully bring himself to the point
of orgasm, then Namjoon gives him a business card advertising ‘Healing Hands’,
and that’s where he meets you; pretty and innocent looking, who gets paid to
provide hand jobs for a living… • note. inspired by the
novella ‘The Grownup’ by Gillian Flynn, literally just the character’s past
i’m happy that the “stop infantilizing trans men” movement is gaining more traction, but i still don’t think cis people realize all the little ways they strip trans men of our manhood.
earlier today i saw a post about healthy binder wearing, which is great, but the post began with “to all my binder-wearing babies…” and no. stop. do not pass go. i don’t care how informative or helpful your post is, calling us babies is still disrespectful, and i have seen far too many ‘friendly reminders’ that contain the same type of language. there are 1000 other things to call trans men (bros, buddies, dudes, etc) that don’t infantilize them, thanks
30品目バランス弁当 // 30 Item “Balance Bento” Ekiben is so fun, and this overstuffed, veggie-full bento is the most fun of all. When the scenery’s no good for, or when your train’s tunneling through a mountain and you’ve got no reception, you can entertain yourself with a scavenger hunt (and test your kanji skills!!). Can you find/read all 30?
Like seriously I think ASL (American sign language) or any type of sign language should be a language choice in school. Just knowing the basics could really help and I think it’s important for hearing (non deaf) people to maybe know a few basic signs. I’ve seen more and more people learning it and I think it’s amazing. It would just be really cool if it was a language choice at schools.
For the anon who requested 45 and 58 with Reid “My eyes are up here.” “It would be a lot easier if you weren’t so attractive.”
Warnings: Some degrading language
‘Type killers’ always got under your skin a little more than random acts of violence. Seeing all those faces that looked eerily similar, murdered just for having the misfortune of sharing traits with someone else long gone. It bothered you even more when you were sitting and staring at a pile of woman who bore a striking resemblance to you.
Your teammates kept a close eye on your for the entire week, which only added to the slight paranoia that came with looking like murder victims. Once the guy was in handcuffs and shoved into an interrogation room you felt a weight you didn’t even realize you were carrying being lifted from your shoulders.
“We still need a confession.” Hotch announced coming into the room that your team was sat in, watching the unsub who seemed far too calm and collected. “We’ve got him on at least two accounts, but a confession for the other four would solidify his prison sentence.” The room was silent for a moment, all of their minds following separate trains of thought, but all arriving at the same station.
“I’ll go in.” You nodded, standing up from the desk you’d previously been stationed at. Spencer, who had been resting beside you shoot up immediately at your words.
“What? No!” You ignored him, turning to face your boss, straightening your back in a way you knew showed your determination. You knew what you had to do; it came with the job.
“Hotch, we all know his chances of talking are considerably higher if I go in and play nice. If you go in and start with that tough guy routine we’re going to move nowhere but backwards.”
“(Y/N) no.” Spencer stated using his firmest voice. His hand gripped at your arm and you continued to ignore him.
“I’ll go in, I’ll be able to catch him off guard, get him talking. If it- I mean if I’m not getting anywhere I’ll come out and you and Morgan can go in and do what you need to do.” Spencer’s hand tightened slightly and you lifted yours up to pat his, not breaking eye contact with Hotch.
“Go in. Play nice. If he gets too… crude. But no information is coming through you get up and you leave or I will come in and remove you myself.” You cocked an eyebrow before nodding and removing yourself from Reid grip.
“Gotcha.” You nodded turned around and swiftly removing the blazer you were wearing and popping open a few buttons on your shirt. You stood up straight and fixed your hair giving yourself a moment to collect your thoughts. When you zoned back in you couldn’t help but smirk slightly.
“My eyes are up here.” You teased, putting a finger under Spencer’s chin and lifting. He glared. Okay maybe not a time for jokes.
“You’re not meat, (Y/N). Don’t unbutton your shirt for that pervert.” You smiled gently and moved your hand up to pat his cheek.
“You’re sweet Spence, but if it gets a confession out I think I’ll manage. I get similar looks from the creeps that stalk the subway. I’ll manage.” He made a soft noise of protest and you hushed him quickly, “I’ll be okay.”
Thirty seconds later you were swiftly entering the interrogation room, sitting in the chair and keeping your head down as you looked through the files, giving him a moment to really look at you. You felt a bit… dirty. Allowing yourself to be ogled at but when you looked up and caught his staring at you practically licking your slips you had to bite down a smirk. You’d gotten worse. Most women above the age of… well. Birth. Had gotten worse from people passing on the streets. Being leered at for a few minutes would be worth it if it meant this sicko was put away for a long long time.
The first few questions were easy. He answered them gladly, licking his lips from time to time, eyes focused on you. His comments were lude but not obscene. You were making progress.
“Do you know any of these women?” You asked, setting a series of photos out in front of him.
“You didn’t look.”
“I’m sorry, Skank. But I can’t seem to focus. It would be a lot easier if you weren’t so damn attractive. Or if you had the decency to button your top.” Your body tensed. The profile pointed to all signs of him wanting to sexual engage his victims, not that their appeal angered him. You opened your mouth to ask again when you heard a shuffle from outside the door.
“Reid!” Emily called as Spencer burst into the room, face flushed with anger. You raised both eyebrows in surprise. Reid quickly approached you, gently grabbing you by the elbow and lifting you from the seat nudging you towards the open door where Emily stood looking shocked.
Spencer turned on the unsub not even waiting to make sure you left and his eyes became a kind of intense you’d never seen before. It was like they were oozing with anger. He’d never looked so intimidating.
“Hello, I’m that Skank’s husband, and I will be finishing your interrogation.” He sneered as you let the door fall shut. You stood completely shocked for a second, mind processing what just happened. Spence rarely ever lost his cool. You waited another moment before you allowed yourself the pleasure of a little smirk. That’s your man.
or - “Harnessing the ‘5 Love Languages’ to Build Realistic Relationships”
In the world of couples’ therapy, there’s something called the 5 love languages. These so-called love languages describe the five different ways that couples communicate their feelings of love to one another, and can be described as such:
1. Words of Affirmation
These are the “sweet little nothings.” When a person continually tells their significant other that they love them, respect them, and care for them, they are offering words of affirmation. However, it goes beyond them. Words of affirmation are also words of support. “I know you’ll do great on that presentation today!” or “You’re the bravest woman I know,” are also words of affirmation.
2. Acts of Service
Acts of Service are the things that you do for a loved one. They can be as simple as performing chores, or they can be more complex things, like carrying out a necessary task for the sake of making that loved one’s life easier. From making sure the dishes get done to helping them with a project, there are many acts of service that a person can and may do.
3. Receiving Gifts
It may sound a bit superficial but for some people, gifts can be a very meaningful display of love and affection. You have to remember that gifts don’t always have to be big, expensive items. These can be small, thoughtful things, like something a person has wanted for a long time, or something that a person very much needs (such as a replacement for a worn-out clothing item).
4. Quality Time
For some, the most meaningful way of showing affection is simply spending quality time together. This can be done in any of a number of ways, from simply talking to performing tasks together that both people enjoy (like cooking or working out.)
5. Physical Touch
Physical touch is an important form of intimacy for some people, and not very important for others. We’re not talking sexual touch here, mind you - we’re talking things like hand holding, an arm around the shoulder, cuddling, etc.
What Do We Need to Know About The Love Languages for Fictional Characters?
One thing to bear in mind for writing fictional characters, first and foremost, is what type of “love language” they will most likely be most forthcoming with, and which they will be lacking. To understand this, you can look at their characterization and, if you have it formed, you can look at their backstory.
The way a person shows affection is often forged in their youth, and in the way that they learned about affection growing up. A person whose family readily showed affection is likely to be more open with words of affirmation and physical touch, but may not care as much about things such as acts of service as an important aspect in building and maintaining relationships. However, a person who grew up in a more controlled environment where they were rewarded for completing chores may have a stronger need for acts of service from their partner.
Use the “Love Languages” to Understand Your Characters’ Relationship Needs (and Conflicts)
Say we’re writing a fantasy story about a young sorceress who grew up in a school where she was in a very controlled environment. It’s easy to guess that she is probably less inclined towards showing her affection through words and physical touch, and more through performative acts for the person she cares about.
She falls in love with a princess who is used to receiving small gifts from her father as a show of affection. While the sorceress often does things for the princess, the princess may feel like she isn’t sure the sorceress really cares for her because the sorceress never gives her any little gifts or trinkets. (Whereas the sorceress is certain she is showing how much she loves her through all the acts she is performing.) Meanwhile, the princess comes off as superficial and only caring for material things when really she is trying to show the sorceress how much she cares for her.
They are basically caught up in a big misunderstanding about whether each has feelings for the other because they aren’t used to the way each shows their feelings. Until such a point as they finally talk things out and start to use each other’s “love language” to communicate their feelings.
(I’m using a bit of a silly example here of course. You can push the boundaries of this to fit your narrative. Acts of service can equate to fighting dragons and gifts can equate to entire kingdoms. It all depends on what you can imagine.)
Anyway, there’s our short lesson in how you can use relationship psychology to write more dynamic couples! Now get out there and jazz things up with your duos!
me in 6th grade: Did he just say the f word? Luckily, I, an intellectual, don’t use that type of immature language…
me now: wHAT th3 fucKk look at this fuckign meme!! im cryiNG lma0 !!! see u hoes later !!!