I explained shipping to my boyfriend and the results were hilarious

He knew I ship Dramione, yet the concept baffled him. “But that’s not how she wrote it! They hate eachother!“ So to the best of my ability I explained shipping and canon and for the next hour while we watched HBP he dreamed up pairs. Here are some of the memorable ones along with his reasoning:

Luna & Neville (he was particularly passionate about this one, likey his OTP, something we haven’t yet gone over)

Hermione & Cedric (“maybe not, she wouldn’t go for the jocky type, course she did date Krum so maybe they could work out, but if not-”)

Hermione & Crabbe (“-cause she actually goes for a more beefy guy”)

The Weasley twins & the Patil twins (“because obviously”)

Hagrid & Madam Maxine (“he loved her!”)

Narcissa and Snape (“they both always look disgusted”)

Trelawny & Slughorn (“they both seem like really fun drunks”)

Umbridge & Greyback (“cause she is secretly into that dirty vagabond type of dude”)

Harry & McGonagall (“you don’t know, maybe he digs older chicks”)

Then he asks if there can be affairs and things got progressively weirder

Mrs. Weasley & The Minister (no reasoning behind this was included)

which led to

Mr. Weasley & Rita Skeeter (strictly as revenge of course)

And finally Dumbledore & Petunia (to get back at Vernon for being such a controlling prick over the years)

Some honorable (and kinkshame worthy) mentions include Filch & Mrs. Norris, a Malfoy/Crabbe/Goyle love trio, Cho & herself because “she just sucks” Molly & Sirius (me: “but they’re cousins” him: “ok??”) and finally Flitwick & Dobby (because “they’re about the same size”)

He finished by making up some (hilarious) smutty dialog between the trio off the top of his head as I watched in horror at the monster I created.

To the one who calls themselves Seductiveturnip

Let me preface this by saying I am a SV shipper and I took the time to read this and try and understand your point of view. You make good points for a person who only seems to understand the base of what something is. First off vision is not a robot, he is a synthetic person. This explains why he make the mistake of accidentally shooting Rhodey out of the sky. As you might put it, Siri would not make mistakes such as these. If he was a heartless empty robot, why would he come and apologize to Wanda after the fight?

OH MY GOD if you are telling me Paul is too old to play Vision than I’m afraid you are missing the point of acting. Acting is to portray a character that is not yourself (for the most part) I agree it would be weird if vision was a 45 year old man trying to get with a 20 year old girl. But that is not the case. Maybe you should get over the age gap and try and think beyond the norm for a second. Also there are plenty of happy people with large age gaps. So what? If you don’t like it don’t watch it. It’s not like they’re doing IT. They have barley even touched each other. So chill out with the OH MY GOD HE’S TOO OLD bullshit. And you say your self that sex is not important on validating a ship. So they can’t even be companions because he’s too old?

The reason they have the connection between the Mindstone is because her powers came from the Mindstone and he basically is the embodiment of the stone itself. It’s a connection…how much more needs to be explained? Why is that such an issue for you? There are plenty of unexplainable things in movies and in life. And no just because you went to the same high school as someone doesn’t make you compatible. If you could understand that a Mindstone is nothing like a high school or a small town then maybe you would understand their relationship a bit more clearly. But that kinda sounds like you not understating the movie very well so I’ll leave it at that.

Back to the whole robot thing…like two minutes after he was born Vision say “I'am not Ultron, I am not Jarvis” so we’ve established this now. Jarvis was a computer program, Ultron was a failed Tony robot. Who, by the way, never had the power of the Mindstone. When Tony and Bruce are looking at the interworkings of the gem near the beginning of the movie you can clearly see the difference between what Jarvis is and what the Mindstone is. And I don’t think there is any part of Tony in Vision if there was he would be more like the witty Ultron and less like the calculating Vision.

Why are you just assuming he will never change? He was born an all knowing being, and I don’t know about you, but I would find it hard to fit in if I was in his shoes. This is why he is wearing human clothes in CW because he’s trying fit and trying to be as human as he can. You seem to be missing all of the small things and only taking what he says and does at face value. He doesn’t hold her hostage, he say earlier in the movie “we would protect you” he is trying his best to keep the Avengers together and the only way he knows how, is to keep anything worse from happening. That means keeping her in one place and not letting things get out of hand. I believe she understands this because she stays and doesn’t try and escape until Hawkeye shows up. And did you miss the whole line when he say “for people to see you as I do.” The way you put it, he was trying to be controlling and “weird”. How is that weird? He obviously is meaning he sees her in a different light than the rest of the world (who is not to happy with her at that time) he sees her for who she is, not who her powers make her out to be. And again he is not a robot, robots don’t wear cloths and try and fit in, robots don’t smile when somebody laughs, robots don’t say sorry, and robots don’t make mistakes.

When he’s taking about the mind stone he’s making a comparisons between him not understanding the limits of his powers and her not understanding the limits of hers. Again this is you only looking at the surface and not thinking about things for more than five seconds. He is trying to relate to her and have a “connection”. There is no “I don’t respect your choice Wanda” there is only I’m trying to protect you and the keep the Avengers from falling apart at the same time. And that seems like a pretty difficult task to deal with if you ask me.

He never asked about the death of her brother?!?! Did he have too? And they have obviously bonded over the time since AOU. Maybe they did. You don’t know. And yes the person who try’s to make her soup to “lift her spirits” is not a comforting individual at all….that doesn’t even make sense.

What?!?? It’s not her house she can wonder wherever and so can he. Right before Clint shows up she in the common area looking out the window. So she needed privacy when she looking out the window. His room is right below there and he though there was danger outside. And the whole “intruding” in on Steve and Wanda is a shit argument. He knows that they were both in there and knows that the door is open, if they wanted privacy they would have closed the door. And this is just another step of him becoming more human, he has yet to learn these things. That’s what his character arc is in CW, understanding human behavior and trying to be as human as he can be, and then making a mistake.

Oh my god “my amygdala is synthetic” it was a joke she laughed and he smiled, it was a cute moment. He’s just trying to explain, in the only way he knows how, that he understands what she going through. They both are not generally accepted in their own way, and find comfort with each other. Do you see Wanda laugh or smile that way around anyone else? No, the only person who can make he smile that way is Vision. And vice versa you don’t see him smiling around anyone else do you? Hmmm I wonder why that is?

No no no Clint attacked Vision with the electric arrows. And did you forget Vision saved her from falling Sokovia, is that not important? You mention it at the end there like it was a minor pout in their relationship.

What was he supposed to do, say “oh Wanda let’s take you back and hide you so that the world could hate us even more that they do now.” No that doesn’t make sense to story or to his character.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you think Vision is more powerful than Wanda?!??! Hahahahahaha, you really are dense aren’t you? She can control his stone!!!! She is the most powerful character in the universe as of now!!!! And yes she in the public eye because she made the mistake, Vision hasn’t!!!!! She is more dangerous she hasn’t even realized her full ability and she is already stronger than him.

I’m gonna make a statement that not all SV shippers might like but there is redemption at the end so hear me out. Okay so Vision said that he doesn’t fully understand or have full control over the stone. So when Wanda takes control of the stone and changes his density to to the extreme setting. She herself is physically manipulating him. It was a mistake and she knows it, that is why they both apologized at the end. So the only real form a manipulation here isn’t even from Vision its from Wanda. Which totally contradicts what you are saying. Soooooo get recked.

Oh my god you literally just said there is no chemistry. I’m gonna say this nice and slow so you can understand. Here we go…..they….have only…..been in….two…..movies….together. One and a half really, since he didn’t show up until the end of AOU anyway. Why do you think that they will have as much chemistry as Steve and Bucky?!?!? And the movies that they were in weren’t even based around them. They are supporting characters!!! Steve and Bucky are two main characters that have had their own movies and have way longer to develop a relationship.

In the end you are wrapped up in your own fantasy about what the Scarlet Vision ship is. You think if any of your point were actually valid that there would be this many fans of the ship? The fans include the actors like hmmm Chadwick Boseman, Sebastian Stan, Robert Downey Jr. , Paul Bettany, Elizabeth Olsen. Did I mention that the Russo brother ship is as well?

Oh well I guess it doesn’t matter what I say because you will always be stuck in your unhappy world where only young people can love young people and nobody can change. You have fun with that you depressing ass individual. @seductiveturnip

I do not support ships that are abusive, pedophilic, or incestual.


~A PSA by Dapperspacechild

anonymous asked:

I hate that Sonic universe arc because Knuckles and Amy's interactions come off as romantic and its given Knuxamy fans ammo for their ship that should never happen. next time they let Amy go on an adventure with someone it better be Sonic and their interactions better be far warmer than her interactions with Knuckles ever were.

Just because someone could interpret Amy and Knuckles’ interactions in that issue as romantic, it doesn’t mean that they were or that the writer ever meant to portray them as a romantic pairing.

They’re just really good friends with a special bond. You know Amy can be close with another male character besides Sonic. And I would actually really like to see Amy be closer with other male characters like Tails, Shadow, etc. There can be pure, legitimate platonic relationships between a male and a female, not everything has to be automatically romantic.

But I understand if KnuxAmy isn’t a pairing you like and you didn’t like all the close interactions they had. Everyone has their tastes in pairings.

And about the KnuxAmy shippers; me being a shipper of SonAmy, I know shippers will use the smallest things to try to “prove” their beloved ships. Hell, two characters could just look at each other for longer than 2 seconds and shippers will be like “OOOOH MY GOD THEY LOOKED AT EACHOTHER ARE THEY HINTING AT SOMETHING CAN THIS BE CANON OMG”

Yeah, I understand how it can be annoying but shipping is harmless fun. You just gotta learn how to ignore it sometimes.