It wasn’t like it used to be, the love between you and Marty. You were tired of everything lately, with your work, with Marty and just everything and everyone around you.It’s been a tiring month since you and Marty started to drifter apart. He used to be your safe home. It sounds different now when you no longer didn’t know how to feel really.
Marty never really had much free time anymore, he was always busy. You knew from the start of what you were getting into. Before meeting Marty and coming into his life, you felt the coldness and loneliness, what it really felt like. Sometimes though you would feel like that without Marty being around much.
He would always get a chance to talk to you on the phone, with one phone call or one text it felt like everything was going to okay. He used to wrap his arms around you pulling you flush against his body feeling how warm he was and how safe you felt in his arms. All remains now is the coldness.
Time changed. He stopped calling you in between his time with traveling and before his matches. He didn’t come see you as often as before, he stayed at a friends house when he was in the same city as you. He didn’t even let you know that he was okay, that he missed you and loved you. He simply didn’t care. So badly you wanted to hate, you desperately wanted to call him and yell at him for hurting you so much. Telling him how you hated that you loved him. Telling him how long you’ve loved him, since you two were teenagers. Everything used to be like a puzzle piece fitting together as one.
Slipping out of bed feeling the coldness from the sheets on the bed, you took your phone in your hands clicking the home screen. No messages. No calls. You kept hoping he would call. It was morning and you had not even slept. Rubbing a balled hand against your eyes mumbling to yourself how you were up all night thinking about him.
He doesn’t deserve even to be in your thoughts anymore. You glanced down at the iPhone in your hands clicking the message green button, it popped up to your text. Clicking on his name, you began typing asking him how he was. With very little hope inside you, you clicked send. Maybe he would text you, maybe he thought about you. You just can’t hold yourself together anymore, losing control and whatever you were holding on to.
Your mind felt like you were drowning in an ocean, like all you could think about is him. Why him?
To your surprise the small bubble appeared with the three dots as he was texting you back. All it said was, “ Why are you up so early?” Glancing at the clock as it read 8:00 a.m. Was that it? Not even how are you? Are you doing okay? What kind of bullshit was that?
Typing back something to him asking him the question you asked before. It angered you, the reply you got back which he said he asked you something as well. This was getting annoying.
What game was he trying to play? You hit the call button putting it against your ear waiting for him to answer.
“ What?” He answered. Really? This is how he wants to be?
“ Are you kidding me right now? Is this how your going to act?”
“ I’m getting ready for my match..”
“ So? You can spare me five minutes of your precious time Scurll”
“ What do you want me to say? Talk about us?”
The way it sounded coming from his lips felt different.
“ You haven’t thought of me at all?” he sighs on the other line of the phone. It remains quite, you nod your head with a thin line on your lips.
“ Right, I’m the only one working this relationship”
“ What do you want me to say? I was thinking about you two? Would it matter?”
“ You know this is the first time you said something since I last saw you. It’s… good to hear your voice, like a fresh breeze of air”
“ I know, why are you up so early? You should sleep more”
“ I can’t” he sighs again before adding, “ I don’t wanna argue with you Y/N” Y/N, that’s different too. It was always darlin’ or sweetheart. Never Y/N unless he was mad at you, now you had no idea what he was feeling.
“ I don’t either, I miss you Marty” He remained silent on the phone. You were so scared he was going to end this right there and there. It looks like he doesn’t want to talk to you at all. It breaks your heart being away from him for so long.
“ You still there?” you asked softly.
“ Yeah, if you miss me that much then come here. I can hear how exhausted you are. Would it make things better if we talked in person? If you yelled at my face? I know you want to.”
“ Here is where?”
“ Friends house that I usually go too when I’m here” He was here and he didn’t even come home to you. The home you two share. You can’t even begin to think if you would break up with him. Never, those words never ever you thought would one day leave your mouth. You can’t tell him.
But you got off the bed and got dressed going to him. You wanted him to hold you. You drive to the familiar house three blocks down from your house, your heart was racing like speed of lighting. You wanted his lips on your forehead telling you that everything will okay. How can he do this to you? Why hasn’t he come home? What was he afraid of? You loved him with all your heart. What kind of person does this? As you got out of the car the cool air hitting you in the face. Zipping up your jacket as you made your way to the step dreading to see him.
When he opened the door, it was like your stomach flipped over and over. “ Hi” he says. His eyes hold sadness in them and there were bags underneath his eyes. Has he slept? He didn’t looks so good.
“ Come in” He says eyeing the small jacket you were wearing. You stepped into his friend’s home. It’s been long time since you’ve been here.
Marty turns walking to the couch taking a seat. He pats the space next him for you to sit. You did. He was wearing one of his merchandise short that he was selling on Pro Wrestling Tees with his hair brushed back, small strands of hair plastered against his forehead, jeans. He was gorgeous in person, it was nothing like the pictures. But right now he looked like hell dragged him over and over.
You looked around at the place he stayed at with take out boxes on the table, papers sprawled around and the TV on. Looking back to Marty, he looked so lost sitting next to you. Everything was quite, not a pin could be heard. You felt your mouth dry as you thought of what to say.
An hour ago, you were home and now you were with him. There were so many things to be said.
“So…what do you want to talk about?” He asks facing the front staring at the show he was watching before adding, “ you’re here so let’s talk” his hand runs down his beard as he turns his head towards you.
You shake next to him trying to hold yourself, “ It’s you” you mumble. “ Me? What about me?”His eyebrows frowned together in confusion. A tear slides down your cheek, “ Marty…I..”
“ Oh don’t give me that, don’t cry..”
His eyes changed from sadness to darker pools of chocolate, like he didn’t want you here. You felt really small sitting next to him.
“ The thought of you is making me crazy Marty, I love you. I give you my heart. I want to hate you, I really do. With every fiber in my body. I want to vanish. I do!” “ Don’t start this Y/N!” He shouts getting off the couch. “ I just came back from Japan yesterday, I need a fucking break, jeez. This isn’t the first time we had this talk. This time though, your whining. Why is that? Can’t you just give me time to myself? What do you want from me?!”
“ Really? You’re going to start this?” you shouted, getting up, more tears running down your cheeks with your hands shaking.
“ Who the fuck are you anymore? Are you even my boyfriend Marty? I sit in our house waiting for you to come back home for days, weeks and month! You never call or text me to let me know your okay. I feel like I am alone in this relationship!”
“ You knew from the very start what you were getting yourself into!”
“ Don’t yell at me!”
“ I’m not..!”
“ No, were tearing each other part by arguing!” your eyes were glossy, vision blurry from how much you were crying. Your mouth was dry, licking your chapped lips desperate for him to just pull you into his arms.
He remains silent, nothing from him as he stares at you. You sit back down on the couch wiping your eyes refusing to look at him feeling his eyes on you. “ Baby..” he started to say.
Glaring up at him, “ Baby? No! Fuck you!” He takes a deep breath through his nose running a hand through his hair before continuing, “ I’m stressed with everything. I just joined the Bullet Club. Everything for me is getting big, it made me forget that you were in my life”
“ Well for me it’s different, you are all I think about. I want to feel your lips on my skin, I want your arms around me. I want to look into your eyes and tell you that I love you and only you. You’re like a poison that I can’t get rid off. I need you Mary Scurll. But you! You are never there, I am scared shitless sometimes to think how crazy I am about you.”
Marty’s eyes got wide hearing the words leave your mouth, the reason you were here standing in front of him was to throw him in his face on how much he hurt you. The look in his eyes scared you a bit, his eyes soften as they gaze lovingly at you. The way he looked at you when you first started to date.
Closing your eyes, your brain is fighting to leave him but at the same time to tell him you still want him. Taking a deep breath and opening your eyes, you were ready for what’s to come. You were ready o have your heartbroken. “ I didn’t know you felt that way..” he says, softly. “ But as I said Y/N, I’m stressed with everything now a days and-”
“ Complete bullshit! I can’t believe I ever loved you, everything you said to me was a lie. You never wanted me, I mean nothing to you” you shouted with fresh new tears running down your cheeks.
“ Just tell me Marty!”
“ What do you mean?!”
“ Tell me that you don’t need me anymore, that I am nothing to you and that you don’t love me anymore.” Your heart felt like it was ready to burst and you just wanted to die in a puddle.
“ No, I can’t” he says. Now he was crying. He doesn’t want to let you go, his heart is shattering inside.
“ You can’t keep doing this to me..”
Maybe it’s your turn to be the Villain here. In this moment. Break his heart. “ I love you!” He shouts, more tears streaming down his own cheeks. You don’t like seeing him cry, it breaks your head. Reaching for his hand, lacing his fingers with yours looking at them. They fit like a puzzle piece.
“ I love you too. But that’s the problem Marty. I lost myself in you. I’m a complete broken mess” you try to remove your hand from his grasp but he holds onto it like his life depends on it. He hangs his head, “ You’re right Y/N, I’ve been distant with you, even from my mom. I had to put another mask on when I face my fans and the rest of the Bullet Club” he took a deep breath in, before raising his head swallowing the lump in his throat.
Right there, this was the Marty you been in love with for years. He was showing you emotion, the real Marty you knew and love. He continue to hold your hand, “ I can’t keep doing this to myself. I thought if I needed time to myself, to figure where I really fall. I’ve been trying so hard to explain how I feel. I’m just not happy, I’m more tired of everything that I used to be. I’m not Marty Scurll without you. I felt broken, I felt every emotion I could possibly feel these few days. I thought being distant from you would tell me what I want to be the next step in my life, but I thought wrong. There is no me without you. I can’t make that choice without you” He stops, looking down at you. Really looking at you through your eyes. He licked his lips as he continued, “ When I was on the plane. I felt like the shittest person in the world. Making you feel worthless, feeling like a fake to my fans that think I’m good enough. I thought me and you maybe if the time apart thing, that you needed it. But I was wrong, seeing you cry and cry for help for me. All I want is to be with you and kiss your tears away. I see now, you want a future with me. You really love me, you need me. What I do, the Villain, every match that I pour my heart and sweat into. I do it for you. My heart is forever yours, my dream is not wrestle around the world. My dream is to have a future with you.”
This was all coming on too much, this was the first time you heard him talk like this to you.
“ I thought maybe if I pushed what I felt about you, I never felt like this about anyone. It scared me so much. I took that fear and accepted it. But I know you and I are better off together, I can’t even begin to think if we ever broke up. I need you. Look at me being a sap right now, you can’t leave me Y/N. I’m your drug and you are my hope and dream. We need each other.” By now Marty was begging you to not leave him. The both of you stood together in a vulnerable state. It felt right being with him. You walked into his arms wrapping them around his waist, breathing in his scent. He wrapped his arms around you, placing his chin on top of your head.
"Little Toa, you have not yet begun to see even the barest outlines of my plans. I have schemes within schemes that would boggle your feeble mind. You may counter one, but there are a thousand more of which you know nothing. Even my … setbacks … are planned for, and so I shall win in the end.“ — Makuta Teridax to Toa Metru Vakama, Time Trap
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