How Dan and phil probably broke up #38
  • Phil: *wins all or nothing*

norrihiddleskittycap  asked:

Imagine Steve in an AU where he adopts the Maximoff twins!

“So Friday tells me if you want to stay, we have to get started, like yesterday on your alphabet soup visa type applications because it can take a while and like—Friday, can you explain it?”  Tony flashed a quick smile. “Pepper usually handles this sort of thing.  Sorry.”

“Sure, boss.  Their B visas expire in approximately 4 months. They’ll need to apply for an H1-B if they want to stay.  Though, it’ll be a stretch.  I’m not sure if the government will consider what they do as ‘skilled labor’.  Worth a shot, and they’re familiar with Stark Industries sponsoring visas.  We just have to hope they make it through the lottery.”

Pietro quirked an eyebrow.  “And if we don’t?” 

“-We can find a way.  Right?” Tony glanced towards the ceiling.

We might be able to get you back on an L visa, if we can set you up in our Sokovia branch.  It’s mostly a foundation, but it’d be just about all we have left as an option.  A green card would be an option, too, but it’d take some time.  More than we have.”

After Sokovia, with the twins joining the Avengers in a not-so-low-profile move to the Tower, the government was asking a lot of questions about their allegiances and intent.  Tony had lawyers for that, but they were still working on the best way to legally keep the Maximoffs in the country.  They kept coming up short.  Tony dropped heavily onto a couch with a groan.  “Uggghhh.  This is why Pepper does all this.  What the hell.”

Or” Steve had come out of nowhere, dropping a folder onto the glass table.  “We do an adult adoption.”

“Can you do that?”  Tony sat up straighter.  

I’ll have to look into it, boss. But without any living parents, provided they consent, Captain Rogers should be able to.”

Wanda smiled slyly.  “Is that why you give Vision side-eye? Do you disapprove of the relationship we may or may not have?”

Pietro laughed.  “You do a great Disappointed Dad face.  I will not call you Dad, though.”

Steve grinned.  “I don’t expect you would.”

Wanda glanced over the paperwork Steve had brought.  “Ok.  Yes. But,” she pointed a finger at Steve, “only if you promise to stop looking so suspicious of Viz.”  

Steve held up his hands.  “Sorry, ok.”

Tony clapped his hands together.  “This is great.  I’ve gotta go organize a party.  Adoption shower.  Something. There’ll be cake.  It’s gonna be great.  Friday!  Friday, take care of Steve’s paperwork.” 

Yes, boss.”

the signs at parties
  • aries: didn't want to come but ends up having more fun than the friends who dragged them along
  • taurus: they've known you two years?? they love you!! they've known you two minutes?? they love you, too!! so much love!! all completely irrelevant to the amount of alcohol they've ingested
  • gemini: insists they're not going to make out with anyone this time, ends up making out with four different people in the space of an hour
  • cancer: very chill and quiet but having a good time, generally. they may or may not doze off at like 9:30pm
  • leo: the rarest cryptids. they're either there all night but you only glimpse them twice, or they turn up, smoke in the garden for five minutes and then disappear before you have time to greet them properly
  • virgo: generally responsible, but there's still a 40-60% chance the alcohol will bring out some Repressed Rage and they'll get into an argument with someone. they'll regret it sorely in the morning
  • libra: they arrive looking absolutely immaculate and somehow continue to look immaculate all evening. they'll probably either leave early or only socialise with the same Chosen Person all night
  • scorpio: just happy to be here. stays out of any #drama but watches it all like a hawk. ends up with the Longest snapchat story anybody's ever sat through
  • sagittarius: tries to look after all the crying / vomiting / fighting people, is a little too drunk themselves to be as useful as they think they are
  • capricorn: affectionate af. probably a fucking lightweight as well. is the most likely to spill their feelings to or make out with someone they have feelings for & then use the alcohol as an excuse
  • aquarius: asks everyone a lot of questions and makes lots of new friends. you might think they're genuinely interested in you and maybe they are to a certain extent but they're probably just nosy really
  • pisces: alternates between having a really great time and having a really terrible time on a half-hourly basis. will be a drunken mess at midnight and fully recovered come twelve thirty. you just can't keep up
list of OSH’s most epic English lines
  • turnback
  • shawty imma party til the sundown
  • hey doctor
  • never don’t mind about a thing
  • you know my name girl
  • now step step
  • that’s right my type
  • my queen
  • it hurts
  • she don’t love me
  • I can do this all night long baby
  • ready set oh my
  • girl you got me flying up
  • cause you are you are a transformer
  • give it to me
  • it’s dangerous girl
  • MC: I'm so thirsty right now.
  • 707: Oh! I have a water for you. No, it's Doctor Pepper.
  • 707: And I have a dick.
  • 707: I don't know if you meant like you were thirsty for water (Doctor Pepper) or if you want a dick.
  • MC: ...
  • 707: But I have both. So.
the types at a party
  • intj: shows up, is immediately disinterested, and starts to leave but gets unwillingly pulled in by the crowd
  • infj: shows up, and after about half an hour gets roped into a counseling session with a heartbroken stranger
  • intp: arrives halfway through the party and ends up drunkenly lecturing someone on astrophysics
  • infp: shows up and says hi to two people before getting overwhelmed by the crowds and retreating home with a good book
  • entj: shows up and ends up drunkenly bragging to everyone before crying in the bathroom
  • enfj: goes into hyper "mom" mode and helps three different couples work through their relationship problems
  • entp: spends the half the time trying to excitedly explain their newst plan to everyone before giving up
  • enfp: becomes best friends with everyone there, and busts out their dorky dance moves while somehow looking cool in the process
  • istj: is uncomfortable for about half an hour before unwillingly ingesting several cups of alcohol and becoming a party animal
  • isfj: ends up driving about seven people home who can't drive themselves
  • estj: is the designated driver, and is actually responsible
  • esfj: eagerly socializes for the first half, then consoles a heartbroken friend for the second half
  • isfp: stays on the side of the room, and forms a meaningful bond with the cat
  • esfp: somehow has amazing dance moves and makes everyone jealous
  • estp: dances with the esfp, and manages to look pretty cool (but not as cool)
  • istp: mysteriously enough, doesn't show up before posting a picture later of his/herself at the top of a mountain halfway across the world

Ignis/Aranea (ignea) featuring some grade A+ wine. Ending references this fic

With the younger men finally asleep in the tent, Ignis stood up from his chair to pour some wine for him and his party’s unexpected guest. He had several different wines he relegated only for cooking, but he brought several bottles straight from the Citadel’s wine rack that he sometimes enjoyed with Gladiolus when Nocis and Prompto had fallen asleep. He supposed she could do as the man’s substitute for today.

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