Watch this episode of Barstool’s “The Life” before reading. It’ll help you understand the imagine much better :)
scrambled around my new 7,000 square foot house trying to get rid of any moving
boxes, and any signs of actual living. I had bought a new home in Dallas a few
months ago, but still wasn’t completely settled. And today, of all days, was my
second “The Life” house tour with Barstool Sports, and the infamous Sophie
Julia. When she and her cameraman came to my last house, she flirted with me
relentlessly throughout the entire tour. I shut her down as much as humanly
possible, and I can barely watch the entire episode back without cringing.
finished “cleaning” the house, I threw on a t-shirt, black workout shorts, and
a camouflage hat, backwards. I groaned as I saw Sophie walk up the driveway,
and hid myself in the kitchen so she couldn’t see me as she was on her way to
the front door.
guys! How are you?” I asked with a fake smile as I opened the door.
Long time no see!” Sophia said in her high pitched, valley girl voice as she
pulled me in for a hug. “Why didn’t you ever follow me back on Instagram?” She
questioned as she pulled away.
Because I have a girlfriend now,
and I also don’t really like you. I thought in my head.
follow me? Sorry I didn’t even see it.” I lied.
we’ll film our intro outside and then we’ll get started, if that’s alright.”
The cameraman said.
thing. Didn’t catch your name?” I asked, extending my right hand.
He said with a nod.
Okay, just come on back in when you’re ready to get started.” I said with a
as the front door shut, I took my phone out of my pocket and called the only
girl I wanted in my house.
She whispered into the phone.
Are you still in class?” I asked.
were having mock court today. I already litigated but some of my classmates are
finishing up right now. I’ll be over there soon. Are they there yet?” She
they are filming outside right now. Please get here soon!” I begged.
babe I’ll be there soon! I promise.”
you.” I smiled into the phone.
you, too.” She whispered, and hung up.
Sophie was going to hate her.
clockwork, when I pressed the red circle on my phone, Sophia and Mike barged
are just going to ring the doorbell and I’ll start filming, and we’ll go from
there.” Mike said, stepping back out onto the brick stoop near the front door.
and shut the door, not keen on the whole “acting” bit. They rang the doorbell
and the camera was rolling, so we went through the whole “hey how are you”
thing once more.
this place is beautiful! So, when did you move in?” Sophia questioned as she
walked through my foyer, peering at the rooms surrounding it.
four months ago. Just needed something a little bigger from my last home.” I
of getting more dogs?” She asked, running her hand down my arm.
No, I’m thinking of marrying my
girlfriend and having kids. Stop touching me. I thought in my head.
tattoo’s?” She asked, still grabbing at my arm. Her fake acrylic nails dug into
said quickly, swatting her arm away.
here is my office. I’ve actually been spending some time in this one, working
on my brand and what not.” I explained as she looked around at the various
photos I had hung on the wall.
nice. Take me to the kitchen, your last one was beautiful.” She said as she
walked out of the room.
not doing much cooking for the random girls?” Sophia asked as she stepped into
my all white kitchen and opened my fridge.
actually cook a ton for a girl these days.” I answered with a smirk.
Wow, for someone who follows my
Instagram so closely, you’d think she wouldn’t have missed all the photos I
post of Y/N, and I.
Girlfriend?” She questioned, suddenly very interested in what I had to say.
Almost a year now.” I answered as she rummaged through my pantry.
she is,” I said as my smile grew genuine. There Y/N was, waltzing down the back
staircase leading into the kitchen. She was wearing a tight, navy blue knee
length dress, black heels, and her glasses. Her short brown hair was
straightened and just touching her shoulders. She looked like a sexy librarian….
Even though she was a law student.
babe!” She said as she walked over to me, kissing me on the cheek. I grabbed
her waist and pulled her tightly in close to me, my hand resting on her ass.
the back door?” I asked.
nodded as her head rested on my chest. “So, you must be Julia.”
And you are?” Julia asked, kind of defensive.
my girlfriend, Y/N.” I said, trying to step in before things got too petty.
nice to finally meet you!” Y/N exclaimed, subtle sarcasm in her tone. “Babe, your
brand manager just sent an email that he needs you to approve designs that have
to finalized today. You need to call him ASAP. So I can finish the tour.” She said,
staring at Julia.
shit, yeah I have to go take care of that. Is that cool, guys?” I asked as I
began stepping away.
Mike said, as a disappointed look came over Julia’s face.
rushed out of the room, a large smile growing on my face after I knew I was out
of sight. I quickly scrolled through my emails and found nothing from my brand
Well played, babe.
you like Tyler’s assistant as well as his girlfriend? I mean, if you’re getting
his emails…” Sophie began.
cut her off. “I’m about to graduate from law school, so I just take a look at
all of the branding stuff and contracts to make sure everything is on the up
and up as far as legal stuff goes. I help out with the designs sometimes, too.”
Sophie said, staring down at the floor.
to see the upstairs?” I offered, borderline feeling bad that I had been so
harsh with her.
said, motioning for Mike to follow us upstairs.
this is our bedroom.” I said, walking into the large master bedroom.
in the process of moving in. Over here we have the his and hers closets. And
no, the ‘hers’ one isn’t filled with sweatpants he lets girls steal from him.”
I said coldly.
cute dresses you have!” Sophia said as she flipped through the dresses hanging
in my closet, trying to redeem herself.
answered, leading her to the other bedrooms upstairs.
continued through the other rooms of the house that were finished, and finally
made our way outside, where Tyler was sitting by the pool with Marshal and
you like the upstairs?” Tyler asked as he stood up and walked over to us.
Sophie said. “So, any romance rooms out at this pool?”
one right over there.” Tyler said, pointing the structure in the distance that
was not quite finished.
continued to show her around the pool area as I took his spot on the pool chair
and sat with the dogs.
that’s really all there is to it.” I heard him say.
Well, thanks for letting us come by. Can we get out this way?” Sophie asked,
pointing to the gate.
said as he waved goodbye to her and shook Mike’s hand.
too bitchy?” I asked as Tyler came to sit down next to me, putting his arm
not. Had to mark your territory. It was pretty hot, not going to lie.” He said
as he trailed kisses up my neck and to my lips.
I whispered, leaning into his kiss.
said quietly into my neck. “Swim?” He asked, looking up at me.
getting kind of hot in this dress.” I said, standing up and peeling it off.
hot without it.” Tyler said, standing up next to me and pushing me in the pool.
yelled as I came up from under the water. “I hate you!”
me.” He said with a smile as he took off his shirt.
Timer Au HCs (in which everyone has sort of a timer in their wrist that counts down to the time they meet their soulmate)
Again, I know that Ty and Eth knew each other before but shhh
-Ethan is honestly fascinated by the timer and he proudly shows it off to his friends like “look two more years!!” and it’s honestly the purest shit ever
-Tyler, on the other hand, wants to build a strong relationship not dictated by the timer and therefore always wears like? an actual watch over it to kind of hide it (he still throws glances at it all the time and cares but he doesn’t want to love someone just because some power out of his control says to)
-As Ethan’s getting ready to go to LA he notices his timer is getting very close to 0 and he’s honestly excited because he really doesn’t know many people in LA aside from Mark and his friends
-Tyler’s timer is also getting really close to 0 and he kind of wants to cheat the system by just isolating himself in his room to see if his soulmate will somehow appear
-Mark drags Tyler out of the house like a few hours before his timer’s due to go off because they need to go pick up his friend from the airport
-Ethan’s on the plane and now it’s not even days it’s just hours and then just minutes
-Both boys know that they’re going to meet their soulmate in an airport and there’s just so many possibilities because there’s so many people? And you always hear of people getting off planes and meeting their soulmate who’s like a stewardess or fellow traveler
-The plane lands and Ethan’s fidgeting because wow there’s only like ten minutes left holy shit
-Tyler’s feeling the same way but he’s also trying to keep some form of order by the arrival’s gate because of cOURSE Mark brought along a big ass sign to welcome Ethan and suddenly there’s a bunch of fangirls trying to get pictures with him
-A security guard makes Mark and his fans move away from the gate because they are blocking, Mark makes Tyler stand there awkwardly and hold the sign
-Ethan’s flight is slowly streaming through the gate and Tyler kind of lowkey looks at each person that passes in hopes of finding Mark’s friend (Ethan decided to use the bathroom really quick)
-Ethan finally comes through the gate and he just sees a sign that says “welcome to your new home crinkgamplz!!” but he doesn’t really recognize the hot guy holding it
-Tyler opens his phone to send a message to Mark and when he looks up there’s just a smiling blue boy in front of him excitedly saying “hey there! I’m-”
-And right then, despite the loud noises of the airport, you just hear the clear sounds of both of their timers going off