Next time there’s a lockout because Bettman et al. have decided to throw another tantrum, I hope the NHLPA just sort of goes “well alrighty” and sets out to prove that the NHL needs the players more than the players need the NHL
What I mean is that they hire a few camera people and do things like:
Trying to play Sports That Are Not Hockey on ice. Personally I think Auston Matthews would be very entertaining at ice baseball
Buying a literal punch bowl and calling it the “Steve Cup” or something
Short reality-TV episodes following the lives of Tyler Seguin’s dogs
Players launching a public health campaign about the importance of dental care
A Hockey with the Stars type show where they try to make hockey teams with celebrities who do not know how to skate
Going to the Olympics
Lots of PK Subban style charity stuff. In fact, just lots of PK Subban. He doesn’t need hockey to have fans
Helping out with other union disputes. Just. News articles about fast-food worker strikes in Pittsburgh and there’s Evgeni Malkin and Marc-Andre Fleury holding up signs
Zdeno Chara could get a job retrieving things off high shelves or something
hope y’all enjoy this! I certainly did :p my friend Emily here has no knowledge of hockey but is quite funny imo. sorry for anything that is insensitive. I tried my best to tag accordingly but if y’all have anything for me to add, don’t hesitate to say so.
Things you probably didn’t know about hockey players (pt. 2)
In August 2011, Steve Dangle got to interview James Reimer over phone for his first article; Dangle was reassuring Reimer the interview would take only 10 minutes, but he wasted first 5 minutes just by fixing his recording program and then, when Reimer remembered Dangle’s voice from his LFR videos, what Reimer’s wife had showed him, they spent 40 minutes talking about random things.
In December of his rookie career, Phil Kessel learned he had testicular cancer, but he didn’t play for just 2 weeks, since his entire right testicle was removed immediately. This operation removed embryonal testicular cancer from his body completely, so he didn’t need any more treatments.
While in Boston, Tyler Seguin was criticized for partying too much. So the Bruins arranged a guard to watch Seguin’s hotel room during the playoffs (2011) in order to ensure he didn’t go out partying.
During Bruins’ 3rd penalty kill of 2nd period in Game 3 of Eastern Conference Final 2013, Gregory Campbell’s leg was broken by Evgeni Malkin’s shot.He still continued playing, though, specifically another 55 seconds of penalty kill, skating with the broken leg too, until the puck didn’t get to neutral zone. The entire arena did standing ovation after that.
Do you remember “Capitals Story”, the video from Christmas 2014 by Washington Capitals? The video wasn’t even supposed to be made. Capitals had planned to make a short movie instead. The plot had to show a story about two sons (Andre Burakovsky and Nate Schmidt), their father (Tom Wilson) and their uncle (Michael Latta) shopping Christmas presents. However, the reason why they declined the idea, is a mystery.
Roman Josi almost fought Taylor Swift’s security guys a few years ago, when Swift (his neighbour then) was holding a house party, he, drunk, tried to enter the house. Seth Jones and Taylor Beck successfully managed to take him back home.
Jamie Benn used to bully and fight his older brother Jordie a lot because he was jealous– Jordie was always more popular in school and girls liked him a lot more. Jamie even knocked out Jordie’s tooth when Jamie was 12.
Brendan Gallagher was so excited about his first NHL season, that he used to greet random Montrealers, in English or French, everytime he passed around someone. He stopped even before the start of the regular season, probably after some of his new teammates told him it was weird.
When he became a Panther (Aaron Ekblad’s rookie season), Jaromír Jágr has transmogrified Ekblad with a malediction of absorbing other person’s age– so poor Ekblad is getting old really quickly now and Jágr’s getting younger. Jágr probably cleared his memory too. Let’s hope we won’t see Ekblad having his first grey hair by the end of this season.
anon request: Can you do a cuddly and kissy seguin imagine where you’re comforting him after his surgery?
i hope this was kissy and cute enough!! Im almost done a zach werenski imagine which i think is gonna turn out pretty good.
i played with the brown hair of my boyfriend tyler who’s head was resting in my lap. he was sound asleep, slight snores were coming from his lips as cash and marshall were cuddled up on the other side of the large couch in tyler’s game room.
there was a slight knock at the door and the dogs heads both perked up. “sorry ty” i mumbled lifting his head off my lap and placing it on the couch, he shifted slightly but didn’t completely wake up. i grabbed my wallet and opened the door. the pizza guy was standing there looking annoyed after a long wait, i payed him and still gave him a tip.
i walked back into the house with two big dogs trailing behind be. the smell of pizza shifted through the house. i placed it on the table and went to go wake tyler. the tv playing quietly in the background, he had a big black cast-like thing protecting his shoulder. after tyler’s surgery he’s been so lazy and tired but i’m sure it’s also from the stress of the season.
“comon ty, the food is here” i poked him in the stomach. one eye of his opened and then shut quickly. i see how it is. “tyler” i said running my hand up the bicep that didn’t have a cast on it.
“tyler isn’t awake right now” he mumbled. i could see a small smile tugging at his lips which was super adorable might i add. i leaned over the couch and pressed a soft kiss to his lips which he immediately responded to.
“ah ha” i laughed pulling away from him. “you tricked me there” he gave a triumphant smile and stood up off the couch. “everything is so much harder with one arm.” i was just sitting here laughing at what was going on in front of me.
tyler lifted the top of the pizza box with his good arm but was unable to grab a piece. after watching him struggle for about two minutes i finally gave in and helped him out. “here you go baby” i handed him a corner piece which was his favourite.
“thanks” he said after taking a huge bite. “don’t talk with your mouth full” i pushed his face away as he tried to give me a pepperoni filled kiss. “your gross” i laughed playfully hitting him across the face.
“get her cash!” he said and cash started barking and jumping around. i knew he wouldn’t hurt me so i just played along. “oh no! tyler!” i yelled standing up on a chair.
“call off your scary dog” i said placing my hand on my forehead while i was biting back a laugh. “this sounds like a job for superman” he said looking off into the distance.
“where the hell am i gonna find supe-” i was mid sentence when he unzipped his new adidias sweater and out came a bright blue superman t-shirt. “oh lord” i mumbled.
tyler, or should i say ‘superman’ managed to throw me over his shoulder with his one good arm and bring me to the couch. i fell back from his shoulder and on to the couch, i landed with an “oomph” noise coming from my mouth.
“superman takes the dub” tyler smiled as he leand over me and pushed a piece of hair from my face. he leaned in for a kiss but i pushed him back. “wouldn’t you be cheating on lois lane?” i said biting my lip to keep in a laugh at his straight face that quickly morphed into a smile.
“i’m sure she won’t mind” he laughed pulling me in for one heroic kiss.