• Sheriff Stilinski: Why don't you go for a run? Get some exercise.
  • Stiles: *hangs upside down on the sofa with a Red Vine sticking out of his mouth* No thanks.
  • Sheriff Stilinski: Well if you change your mind, I saw Derek out there.
  • Stiles: Huh? What? Really? Did he have a shirt on? Was he all hot and sweaty? *runs to the door*
  • Sheriff Stilinski: Works every time

The inner workings of Dylan O'Brien’s mind:

“I’ll pretend to be cute and dorky and then strike with my super sexiness when they least expect it.”

“Let me just touch Tyler Hoechlin all over and give a million girls an aneurism.”

Im just an awkward turtle. “Hehe. Are they buying it?”

“I’ll grow a beard and then they won’t know what to do with themselves.”

“I’m going to touch my face about ten times during one interview, just to screw with them.”

AKA: How Dylan plans to ruin us all.

Prove I’m wrong.

I dare you.

Day One

Stiles sees Derek petting a kitten at the vet.

Day Two

Stiles watches Derek buying cupcake ingredients at the bakery, for Kira’s birthday.

Day Three

Stiles sees Derek helping Lydia look through the bestiary for clues as to what Parrish could be.

Day Four

Stiles spies Derek helping an old woman across the street.

Day Five

Stiles eavesdrops on Derek discussing baseball with his dad at the station.

Day Six 

Stiles watches on all day Star Wars marathon with Derek. Who apparently loves Yoda.

Day Seven

Stiles realizes he’s fucked.


Imagine Scott and Stiles as eighty year old men. And Stiles is still trying to convince Scott to watch Star Wars.

Stiles: “Watch Star Wars.”

Scott:“You go get the prune jar.”

Stiles: “Not jar. Star! It’s been eighty years. Watch Star Wars, you old coot.”

Scott: “I don’t wanna!”

Stiles: “It’s in a galaxy far, far away.”

Scot:  “I’d like to send you far, far away.”

Stiles: (lifts cane) “You watch it or so help me, I’ll wack you good.”

Scott: “Derek your husband just threatened me with bodily harm. I was a true alpha once, you know.”

Derek: “Pipe down, both of you. I’m trying to watch my stories.”

Stiles: I can’t sleep without my pillow.

Derek: Here, sleep on my chest.

Stiles: Uh, okay.

Oh my god.

You are even more comfortable than my pillow.

I can’t sleep without my Derek!

Derek: *sigh* Just go to sleep.


In Stiles’ version of heaven, his mom would be smiling and happy. Allison would be shooting arrows at Harris (that guy was always a dick). And Derek would be naked and feeding him curly fries.

Don’t even act like that’s not true.

What If Derek offered $ 50,000 to Stiles if he could go a whole week without using sarcasm. Do you think he could do it?

Hint: Using your mouth for other purposes would help, Stiles.


In which Stiles thinks up some very naughty bed-time dares for Derek.

Not that Derek minds, at all.