two-yolks

How to be Parisian wherever you are

On skin…
- Beauty in France is epidermal - nobody cares that much about make-up, it’s what’s underneath that matters.
- Skin should look natural. Freckles can appear in spring… sometimes your cheekbones blush when you lie, and your whole face flushes when you are intimidated.
- French women avoid using foundation, which merely serves as a shroud, and therefore trivialises.
- Skin of your face must be treated as a canvas. Start with a moisturiser to smooth your skin.
- Hide any imperfections with concealers (such as YSL’s Touch Eclat) or a BB cream. If you really can’t live without your foundation, then mix it with a touch of moisturiser to mute its effect.
- Never go to bed without taking off your make-up, so you fall asleep not smelling like the party. Yes you climb into bed more tired for this care. But that’s the price we pay to save our skin.
- A few strokes of mascara (Hypnôse by Lancôme) - be generous on your top and bottom lashes, to accentuate your look and disguise any bags under your eyes.
- Bright red lipstick (Dior Addict) will not go amiss for a night out.

On hair…
One of the Parisienne’s most distinctive features is her head of hair. There are several characteristics that make it easy to identify. Her hair style is never “immaculate” and it’s rare that she goes for a blowout. She cultivates, depending on her age a type of capillary blur, to varying degrees of tidiness:
- Do not dye your hair, or if you do, only in your original colour to highlight it, or to hide any grey.
- Do not dry your hair with a hair dryer (in fact, you might as well throw your hair dryer away) but instead use two much more environmentally friendly resources: fresh air in summer and a towel in winter. Whenever possible, wash your hair in the evening rather than in the morning, so as not to leave the house with wet hair.
- There’s no point in accessorising your hair. Avoid hair clips or headbands if you’re over 18.
- As your face gets messier with age, your hair can get neater for balance.
- Either go all grey or no grey hair. Salt and pepper is for the table.
- Rum, honey, two eggs yolks and the juice of a lemon: not a recipe for baba au rhum, but just what you need for a restorative hair mask.

On nails…
- Short, clean nails, sometimes worn with polish.
- The French manicure is something of an enigma: it is the exact opposite of French chic. The Parisienne does not understand the point of it and never wears it.
- She’ll go to great lengths for a pedicure but wears mismatched underwear.
- Before throwing out a juiced lemon, rub it on your fingernails - it’ll strengthen and brighten them.

On plastic surgery…
- First choose one part to focus on, one single operation.
- Next, put off for as long as possible. In France it is rare to find a 35-year-old who has had plastic surgery.
- Generally the fight begins in your Forties, often with the help of hyaluronic acid and Botox.
- Resort to Botox no times than once a year, or else you run the risk of it becoming visible.
- Small lifts are contemplated after the age of 50: your eyelids, the bags under your eyes or the wrinkles around your mouth,
- At the age of 60, you can think about maybe getting a “mini-lift”.

On health…
- She drinks vodka in the evening and green tea in the morning.
- She eats a four-cheese pizza but puts Stevia in her coffee.
- Once a week, brush your teeth wtih baking soda - it’s a natural whitener.
- Drink a gallon of water before going to sleep - it’s the best way to avoid a hangover.
- Your skin retains the memory of every party you ever went to, under your eyes and at the corners of your lips. Be wary of your excess.
- Your skin, hair and nails all love beer. Not the kind you drink - that gives you a belly - but instead beer in the form of brewer’s yeast. Sprinkle it on salads, steak and vegetables. It’s an excellent alternative to salt.
- On exercise? She thinks of her mother’s backside and the cost of a gym membership, but that’s not enough.
- In short, you’re not a slave to the cult of the perfect body - so learn to make the best of what nature gave you.
- An aromatherapy massage isn’t a luxury, it’s an investment in well-being.

On imperfections…
- The Parisienne retains her little imperfections, cherishes them even (the gap in her smile or her slightly crooked tooth, her prominent eyebrows or strong nose): these are the signs of a certain strength or character and allow her to feel beautiful without being perfect.
- The Faux Pas: over-plucking your eyebrows. Having lip augmentation - it makes you look like a duck. Wearing too much make-up. Having more than two different colours in your hair.

On perfume…
- Find your perfume before you turn thirty. Wear it for the next thirty years.
- Be unfaithful: cheat on your perfume, but only on cold days.
- A touch of perfume on your hair, behind your ear or on the nape of the neck, never did anyone any harm.
- Always put on perfume before going out.

A Breakfast Mess {Ereri}

Just a little ‘drabble’ I wrote one day to break through writer’s block where Eren tries to surprise Levi with breakfast but fails miserably, and it’s adorable~

Eren peeled his eyes open to the warm light of his bedroom. Morning sunlight shone through the curtains covering the window just above the headboard. A light smile on his lips, he immediately stretched his limbs out, welcoming consciousness easily.

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234. There is two different types of twins when it comes to Inkling/Octarian eggs; regular twins when two eggs hatch on the same day (which can range from a few minutes to a few hours and still be considered twins,) or true twins where the female's body has actually placed two yolks inside one egg to be fertilized. True twins are exceptionally rare due to this especially since eggs containing two babies may not develop as well or as quickly as regular eggs.

chuck-charles  asked:

congrats on the 2k! You were the first Zelda blog I followed on here and still my favorite. here's a headcanon (and it may be similar to one you've already done? or just kind of boring): Link is a pretty good cook but zelda just. sucks. she never really learned and is too focused on more important matters to keep her eggs from overcooking. but one morning she wakes up before link and decides to give it a dubious try for him...

Thank you so much, that’s so lovely!!  ❤

Also this is way too relevant as someone who married a professional chef but struggles to cook eggs… but hey, write what you know, right? 

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me, @ almost 1 in the morning: hey what if i made chiffon cake

me, @ 6 am: this was a chiffon mistake

Also shoutout to my great aunt for her chiffon cake recipe!


Fluffy Chiffon Cake recipe

Serves 8 to 10 | Active cooking time: 2 hrs 10-15 mins | Total cooking time: 5 hrs 30 mins


Batter

  • 2¼ cups cake flour (254g)
  • 1¼ cups sugar (251g)
  • 3 tsp baking powder (12g)
  • ½ tsp salt (3g)
  • ½ cup vegetable oil (125mL)
  • 5 unbeaten egg yolks (100g)
  • ¾cup cold water (177mL)
  • 1 tsp vanilla (5mL)


Egg Whites Mixture

  • 1 cup egg whites, about 7 or 8 eggs’ worth (240mL)
  • ½tsp cream of tartar (1.7g)

1. Remove eggs from the fridge to allow them to reach room temperature. Once they’ve reached room temp, separate the egg whites and yolks into two different containers.

 2. Heat oven to 325° F (163° C). In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Make a well in the center and add the wet ingredients in this order: oil, egg yolks, cold water, and vanilla. Whisk together until batter is smooth.

3. In another large bowl, beat the egg whites on a medium speed for two minutes before adding the cream of tartar. Then continue to beat them on a higher speed until they form stiff peaks.

4. Pour the batter into the egg whites gradually, gently folding them with a large rubber spatula. Be careful not to stir them!

5. Pour the finished batter into a tube cake pan. Tap the bottom of the pan against the counter top three to five times to dispel any air bubbles in the batter. Before placing in the oven, make sure to clean off any drips on the sides to help the cake rise.

6. Bake the cake for 55 minutes on the middle rack of the oven. Increase the temperature to 350° F (177° C) for an additional 10 to 15 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the top comes back clean. After removing the cake, turn it upside down to let it cool completely, about 2 hours.

7. To remove the cake, insert a thin knife between the cake and the pan. Removal changes depending on if you’re using a one pan or two piece pan. For a one piece pan, tap it roughly against the counter again before flipping it over onto a plate. With a two piece pan, simply grab the tube and lift it out.


Whipped Cream (optional)

Makes about 2 cups of whipped cream | Active cooking time: 5 mins | Total     cooking time: 10 to 15 mins


  • 1 cup heavy whipping cream (240mL)
  • 1 tsp vanilla (5mL)
  • 1 tbsp confectioners’ sugar (15mL)
  • Mint leaves, for garnish

1. Place the bowl and whisk(s) into the freezer for 5 to 10 minutes to chill.

 2. Once cooled, combine the ingredients in the bowl and whip the cream until it forms stiff peaks. Be careful not to overbeat; garnish with mint leaves.

The Signs as types of eggs

ARIES: Fried egg

TAURUS: Protein egg shake

GEMINI: Two yolks in one egg

CANCER: A soft egg with a hard shell

LEO: Egg and Soldiers

VIRGO: Cracked egg

LIBRA: Russian egg

SCORPIO: Egg sex toy

SAGITTARIUS: Omelette

CAPRICORN: Hard boiled egg

AQUARIUS: Poached egg

PISCES: Egg nog

worldsfool  asked:

This is kinda going to be a weird ask, but it came to me overnight and thought, why not? How would Reaper, Jack, Hanzo and Genji, react to having found an egg that hatches into a dragon?

Hanzo & Genji


Hanzo receives the egg as a gift from a clan seeking to submit themselves to the Shimada gumi. They say it’s a genuine dragon, the flesh and blood incarnations of the spirits he and his closest family can summon. Hanzo will treat it as a lie until proven otherwise. It’s how he handles most things people tell him.

Thus when Genji says he is not jealous of his brother, Hanzo becomes suspicious.

It’s not like his little brother could steal the egg, having nowhere to hide it especially once it hatches, but he does have a tendency towards questionable decisions. Hanzo is careful with the egg, and credits this with the fact that Genji gets up to no mischief.


The real reason Genji has no time to prank his brother lies under several heatlamps in the unused greenhouse. His brother’s egg is being bred on top of constantly smoldering coals, carefully maintained by the staff. Genji is not supposed to have this one and so he has to improvise.

The greenhouse is the perfect place. No one ever uses it, the only reason it’s not torn down is because the clan never destroys something that may be of use later, and it’s hot and humid even without the lamps to help things along. Here no one will find the consequences of Genji’s knee jerk decision.


The eggs just lay there, in a side room he discovered by accident. Hanzo is receiving his that very moment and Genji, anger boiling hot fueled by jealousy, doesn’t hesitate when he steals this clan’s most valuable property. If he’s caught not even his father will be able to save him. They’ll cut his hands off, or worse. Not only is he a thief, he was deemed unworthy to care for a dragon.
But all he wants is to stop living in Hanzo’s shadow. To be recognised as his own person with skills and aspirations just as valuable as his brother’s. He’ll raise a dragon, make it grow strong and show everyone that he’s just as good.

He fears for life and limb on the whole way back home. But the egg, secured in his bag among his dirty underwear while Hanzo’s lies on top of a velvet cushion, stays hidden, stays secret. Genji breathes a sigh of relief.


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Yogurt-Egg Bread

The bread I made tonight is a recipe I’ve been continually tweaking and adjusting since I found it, and I think it’s finally awesome. 

1 cup greek yogurt, room temperature (regular yogurt works too) Room temp is important so the cold doesn’t kill the yeast.
1 egg plus 1 egg yolk (or two eggs), room temperature 
1/3 cup hot water (not like boiling or anything)
1 Tbsp maple syrup
2-¼ tsp (or 1 pkg) active dry yeast
2 Tbsp coconut oil (or butter) at room temperature
3-½ cups bread or all-purpose flour
2 tsp salt

In a large bowl, whisk together yogurt and eggs. In a separate small bowl, mix maple syrup with hot water, then add yeast and stir briefly. Let yeast stand and proof, five to fifteen minutes, until foamy. Stir into yogurt-egg mixture.

Stir in the coconut oil or butter, then 2 cups of flour, then salt. 

FYI: this time around the first cup of flour I used was almond flour, and it added a really nice flavor and texture to the bread but the rest of the flour, being wheat flour, still allowed for enough gluten for a proper rise. Do recommend. 

After the first two cups, keep adding flour until the dough becomes too difficult to mix with a spoon, then turn the dough out onto a floured surface. Knead, adding flour as needed, until the dough is smooth and firm. Let dough rise in a greased bowl, covered, for about 45 minutes or until doubled in size.

After the dough is finished with its first rise, punch down and turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until all the bubbles are out, about 5 minutes. Shape into a loaf. Grease a 9x5 bread pan and place the shaped loaf into the pan, cover with the clean kitchen cloth, and let rise a second time for 45 minutes or until doubled.

Bake the loaf at 350F for 40-50 minutes or until the top is golden brown and the bread sounds hollow when you tap on the top. If you make a smaller loaf and some minion buns like I made, bake for 25 minutes and then remove buns; bake another 10 minutes to finish the loaf. Remove from oven and turn out the loaf onto a rack.

[ONE-SHOT] CREDULOUS (OR THE FOUR TIMES PHIL FORCED DAN TO BELIEVE IN SUPERSTITION, AND ONE TIME DAN DOES)

Title: Credulous (or the four times Phil forced Dan to believe in superstition, and one time Dan does)

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: crude language

Genre: fluff, crack 

Pairing/s: [spoiler under the strikethrough] ambiguously-married, domestic Phan

Characters: danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, mentions of a fan, mentions of Martyn Lester, mentions of Cornelia, mentions of Mrs Lester

Summary: The following is an account of purely-British white boy Dan Howell living with part-Filipino Phil Lester, who is always shoving his beliefs at him like the Jesus Guy in their streets of Manchester.

A/N: Phil is racebent here! He is ¼ Filipino because I am Filipino and all I know are Filipino superstitions. 

A/N 2: the Filipino superstitions here are all of Cebuano origin because I am Cebuano.

A/N 3: in relation to both A/Ns 1 and 2 – the racebending and the ethnic origin of the superstitions are all for the convenience of writing and are not true facts of Phil Lester. Phil Lester is an absolute white boy. 

A/N 4: this is kind of inspired by the Filipino-speaking!Dan smut fic that my friend constipatedhowell​ wrote that was nominated for a Phanfic Award (the thought of it still makes me laugh and cringe at the same time I’m glad I have not exploded yet) hey Alice

A/N 5: this was greatly fun to write omg today is a good writing week for me.

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Czech Cheese Cake (Linecký tvarohový koláč)

Courtesy of The Best of Czech Cooking by Peter Trnka

1 ½ cups sugar
1 cup butter
4 egg yolks
2 cups flour
¼ cup milk
1 pound farmer’s cheese or ricotta
½ cup raisins

Whisk or blend together 1 cup of the sugar and the butter very well, until you have a light and creamy mixture. Add two egg yolks and mix together well. Fold in the flour and a little milk if necessary to make a dough.

Butter a medium-sized 9-inch round cake pan. Spread the dough on the cake pan. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

Press the farmer’s cheese through a sieve. Mix in the raisins, the remaining ½ cup sugar, and two egg yolks. Spread the cheese mixture over the dough. Put the cake in the oven and bake for 30 minutes or until lightly golden on top.

coffeebuddha replied to your post “honoriaw replied to your post “re: blue apron and foodieverse, are…”

I’m a pastry chef and I’m a HUGE fan of separating eggs by hand both because of the lower chance of bacteria and because it really is SO MUCH FASTER. I’ve raced against a couple of my savory chefs who use the shells and went through three flats of eggs (90 total) in the time it took them to do a little over one, and broke maybe two yolks total while they broke about two out of every five, because of the jagged shell edges. DON’T BE AFRAID TO GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY, PEOPLE.

I cannot explain to you how delighted I am by the story of three chefs racing to see who can separate the most eggs the fastest. Like the mental image I have of this contest is dazzling. You have made my afternoon brighter, especially since now I’m picturing this happening in the Foodieverse. (Coulson wins.)

10

Just watching this OVA gave me so many feels!!

I love the symbolism and parallelism in it. Omg someone hold me!

But seriously. This is Sasuke’s dream and it’s like Itachi is trying to show him that he is not alone. That Naruto is there and in the end Sasuke gets it. And that’s who’s missing! Naruto! It should’t be so quiet. And Itachi is trying to tell him that his BFF/Boyfriend is missing Fucking symbolism.

Hell. The fucking eggs could be some symbolism. So Itachi is trying to make the perfect egg for Sasuke but he can’t and runs out of them. So then this loud chicken comes along and Itachi is like, “Wait - I got this.” And so he managed to get one egg out of the chicken and out of that miracle egg comes out two yolk! (like it wasn’t alone) Like two peas in a pod - Like Sasuke and Naruto. And to put the icing on the cake Itachi draws their symbols on the fucking egg yolk!! He ships this so hard. “Shipper mind is probably talking right now” 

But then I just love how he got Sasuke to react. Sasuke’s reaction is a mix between confused and shocked. Its beautiful. And being the little snarky bitch he is, He’s like, “I’ve had better.” after he eats them. And, omg, Itachi just knows! I mean come on! We all know Sasuke’s mind switched to Naruto when he saw the symbols. That’s why he said that. Because, in reality, those were the best fucking eggs he’s ever had! He just doesn’t want to show it so he puts up that front. lol And Itachi sees right through it.

And then the scene switches to Naruto waking Sasuke up by flicking him in the head. It’s like he’s saying, “Hey, Sasuke. I can’t replace your brother but I’m still here, you’re not alone. So let’s go together… - its what Itachi would want.” *Shipper headcannons. Im sorry lmfao!”

And if I could add more Episode stills I’d add the scenery and the position they are in.

Like Sasuke is under a shadow - darkness. And Sasuke wakes up to see Naruto standing under the sun - light. Sasuke is literally looking up into his light and its so fucking blinding that he’s in a daze. ANd then we have Naruto running away from him and Sauce is all like, “Wait!” (don’t go! *shipper mind*) And chases after him. (So I’m like”well, Look who’s chasing after who!” LOL) But to the real point: This really reminds me of that one Shippuden Ending where we see Sasuke shrouded in darkness and Naruto is desperate to get him out of there. But here we have Sasuke getting out of the darkness on his own to get to Naruto. Its like the character development that we have seen Sasuke having lately.

Anyway, the scene changes to a god-like Itachi standing over them smiling. Smiling because Sasuke went after Naruto and is with him. And then Sasuke smiles too because he gets it! He made Itachi proud because he chose the right path. To get out of the darkness.

Omg my feels and this episode my not need this because it really is self explanatory but I couldn’t help myself. *dies from feels*

Omg. fixed! I wrote like this whole analysis and tumblr deleted it so I had to rewrite it.*dies from feels again*

Here is a very basic and clean nutrition plan that you can adapt into your diet; you can be as strict or loose with it as you want, or tweak it to fit your own body’s needs.

Breakfast: protein + veggies + carbs
Snack
Lunch: protein + veggies + carbs
Snack
Dinner: protein + veggies

Protein ideas: egg whites (one or two yolks is fine, but none is even better), chicken breast, ground turkey, salmon, etc.
Carb ideas: sweet potatoes, brown rice, quinoa, Ezekiel bread/tortillas, etc.
Snack ideas: protein shakes, cottage cheese + figs, Greek yogurt + protein powder and frozen berries, sliced turkey, veggies and hummus, fruits and nuts, etc.

Use herbs and spices to season your food in lieu of salt. 
Plain Greek yogurt is a very versatile food and it makes a really good substitute for sour cream or whipped cream (mix protein powder and honey in it for a sweet topping, or mix in dill, lemon and black pepper on salmon). These meals don’t have to always be so simple and boring; get as creative as you want. Brush egg whites on your salmon filet and give it a crushed pistachio crust. Stir fry minced onions and basil and mix it into seasoned ground turkey and bake meatballs. 
And if you get too lazy to cook, prepare a few meals in advanced at once, or treat yourself to take out once in a while. Just don’t purposefully skip meals–you will burn calories quicker if you eat clean and go on quick jogs than if you starve yourself!