Okay but consider a Mass Effect Andromeda where the Ryder family stays whole. Alec doesn’t die, the second Ryder twin doesn’t end up in a coma.
Imagine Pathfinder Alec Ryder getting to actually be a pathfinder, but also having to cope with his two children who are both canonically huge dorks.
Consider Alec trying to be diplomatic while his two grown ass children are behind him getting into a silent slap fight over who gets to ride shotgun in the nomad.
Consider Alec “so emotionally constipated he’s shitting out diamonds” Ryder having to deal with Jaal “I’ve known you for ten seconds let’s talk about our feelings because the angaran social filter is nothing like yours” Ama Darav.
Consider Alec having to constantly put himself between Reyes and whichever offspring has come with him because the guy will not stop flirting and this man is a criminal and we only need him for his connections, stop winking back.
Imagine Alec bonding with Evfra over the difficulties of leadership in an impossible situation, and having the lives of an entire species depending on your success.
Now imagine that scene but it keeps cutting to Scott and Sara daring each other to eat the weird alien food.
Drak offering Alec parenting advice!!!!!
Alec putting Peebee in time out until she can behave herself.
Alec putting on his Parent Voice when Gil and Kallo fight – it’s not even on purpose, they just sound so much like bickering children.
Alec having to deal with the fallout from the disastrous beginnings of the initiative – would fewer people attack him to his face? He’s certainly a lot scarier and a lot more intimidating than the canon pathfinder is.
Imagine Alec walking in on one or both of his children making out with their love interest. Imagine that ride on the Nomad.
Jaal trying to talk to Alec about it to reassure him of the true depth of feelings he has for Sara but Alec Does Not Want To Have This Conversation. Cora loves Scott but oh god she’s sleeping with her mentor’s son and he knows but he isn’t saying anything why isn’t he saying anything. Liam practically climbing under the table whenever Alec enters the room because he’s sure his boss is going to space him for making out with his daughter.
Sahuna Ama Darav emailing Alec because “we’re going to be inlaws let’s talk about medical histories and plans for grandchildren!!!”
I’ve been exploring monosexism and the concept of privilege a lot lately. I was just reading a Facebook conversation, among bisexuals, about how we (supposedly) have “passing privilege”. And it really made a lot of stuff gel for me.
The problem is that by calling it passing privilege, we confuse it with what is usually meant by privilege.
You do not have to pay for privilege. You can’t pay for privilege.
I am white; I have white privilege no matter what I do.
There is a whole system in place that puts a ton of money and effort and privilege into giving me and other white people privilege by stealing from people of color.
I can choose to play into and support that system to perhaps, arguably, access a little more of that privilege, and to help keep the racist system going.
Or I can work to unlearn racism and learn the ways I have been feeding the system, and work to cut them off, and work to support and defend people of color.
But I don’t earn white privilege through some kind of points system. It’s just there.
If I have to pay for privilege by giving up who I am, lying about who and what I am, hiding my past and present, then it is not privilege. By definition. Because I am paying for it - paying a very high price.
If safety and danger are thrust upon me at random based on people’s perception of me – as they are also done with my gender, as a genderqueer, and as they are done to gays and lesbians all the time as well – then that, likewise, is not privilege. It is Russian roulette.
This does not only happen to bi/pan and trans people, of course. Asexuals get the same bullshit. Biracial people get it. All sorts of light-skinned people of color get it. Femme women of all types get it. Butch gay, bi, ace, and trans men get it. Intersex people get it. People with invisible disabilities get it. All us liminal people get it. Who am I leaving out?
Privilege is when you have access to safety and acceptance that others don’t, based on things you cannot control.
It especially becomes a problem when we accept it and use it and (no matter how obliviously or intentionally) support the harm of others.
Whether that’s active, like telling bi people that we should stop whining about erasure, or passive, like ignoring bi experience, politics, and culture in favor of the vicious cycle of bias confirmation.
(Like only hearing about bi history as bits of tiny scraps in the context of gay history, where it’s not mentioned when major figures were actually bi, or when something specific to the bi community happened. And then assuming that’s an accurate picture of community history instead of specifically of one piece of our community. And then assuming that bi people are in the minority, don’t do much of the work, and don’t have many problems. And then assuming that people who say differently are being divisive and self-centered, because they aren’t really oppressed, because you haven’t heard anything that says they are, so….)
Passing is not privilege. It is a form of blackmail, a threat.
“Pretend you are gay in this community, pretend you are straight in that one, and pass, and we’ll treat you as we treat each other. Admit you are bisexual, and we will take you down.”
That is not what privilege sounds like. That is what it looks like when people WITH privilege turn on you.
You can also tell it’s not privilege, because the same communities that shame and reject us when we DON’T pass, immediately turn around and use “passing privilege” to tell us we’re not oppressed – and certainly not oppressed by them!
The word for that isn’t “privilege”. It’s “abusive mindfuck”.
[Major Spoilers] “Follow your true feelings!”: My Musings on P5′s Wildcard Couple
Can we talk about Morgana’s astute observations regarding Akechi’s true feelings for Akira? Can we talk about how (Morgana’s words–not mine) Akechi’s smile when he was hanging out with Akira had been genuine? This boy– who had distanced himself from everyone, who had wrapped himself up in layers upon layers of lies that he wears like a second skin, who had made revenge his one and only goal in life – had also, in spite of himself, serendipitously found kinship in the one boy whom he has decided that he has to kill.