two weapon fighting

And his name was Shovely Joe

Player 1: I’ve always wanted to play a character who dual-wielded Shovels, but the penalties for improvised weapons and two-weapon fighting together is way too much.

Player 2: Wait! That’s really a thing! There are military-grade shovels that can be used for combat! They’re Combat Shovels!

Player 1: No way! I have to do this now! (GM)? Can I do this??

GM: Well… There are rules for making your own weapons… So I guess as long as the shovels follow those rules you should be fine…


how to become an unstoppable axe person in D&D 5e

Want to throw 9 handaxes in a single turn??? Do you want to be feared??? Here’s how.

Step 1: Pick the Fighter Class okay I know it sounds basic but trUST ME on this one
Step 2: Screw those Background items!! Screw those Class items!! You don’t need ‘em!! You have dice! And according to PHB Chapter 5 page 143 table 1 “Starting Wealth by Class” *ahem* that’s 5d4 x 10 GP worth of starting equipment. So what do you buy with
C: Axes. Hand. Axes.
(Okay so assuming the maximum GP (200), get some Leather or Hide armor (10 GP) because… I mean you probably want that and then spend the rest on handaxes.)
That’s 38 Handaxes
“But Luna!” you might ask, astounded by the multitude of crude axes I have hanging around my belt, “How do you carry all of those!”
(they weigh 2 pounds each and your carrying capacity is str score times 15 so like it’s almost impossible not to be able to)
STEP 4: Throw??? Them??? Just throw them. Recover them after the battle. Also, since they have the Light property, you can use two-handed fighting to throw two per turn!
“Okay what about that fighter thi–”Okay here’s the deal
Take the two-weapon fighting style so those Bonus Action axes get that sweet, sweet STR mod. If you want, you can become a Champion, get a second fighting style, pick Archery, and now you have accurate handaxes.

Now the real money here is “how many handaxes can I throw per turn?” Keeping in mind the Fighter’s Extra Attacks and Action Surge (Note: An action surge gives an extra action, and Extra Attacks are each time you take the Attack action, so keep that in mind), I’ve made this neat little visual.

1st level: 2 axes
1st level (Action Surge use): 3 axes
5th level: 3 axes
5th level (Action Surge use): 5 axes
11th level: 4 axes
11th level (Action Surge use): 7 axes
20th level: 5 axes
20th level (Action Surge use): 9 axes 

You are now a human(oid) machine gun of handaxes.
… One last thing: Take the Sharpshooter perk. Gets rid of disadvantage at long range, meaning you can throw 9 axes from 60 feet away.
Remember: With great power comes great responsibility. And at least 38 handaxes. Godspeed.

My new 5e Character

High level campaign, starting at level 8.

CG Aasmir (Protector). Innate Light cantrip. Folk hero background.

Skills and proficiencies: history, intimidation, arcana, insight, animal handling, survival, cartographer’s tools

Feats: Magic Initiate (Cleric: Sacred Flame, Thaumaturgy cantrips; Command as the lvl 1 spell.)
Dual Wielder.

Gear: Quarterstaff, short sword (hopefully magical), herbalism kit, ring of fire resistance, chainmail armor under a robe.

Bard 1. Cantrips: Vicious mockery, prestidigitation. Spells: Comprehend Languages, Heroism

Fighter (Battlemaster subclass), starting 3, going up to 15 levels. Tunnel fighter style.

Multiclass 4 levels of Ranger. Favored enemy: orcs. Two-weapon fighting style. Giant Killer for 3rd level Hunter feature. Spells: animal friendship and speak with animals.

Awakened Warhorse mount.

His name is Gandalf the Grey, this is what he looks like.

On character creation and the use of real world cultural inspiration

So, as a player (and to a somewhat greater extent as a DM) I like to build my character’s based off of the various real world cultures and aesthetics. For example, I have a Dragonborn Barbarian that I based around the Native American culture. Prior to making him, my knowledge of Native Americans was… incorrect to say the least. After doing the proper research, I feel like the character became a lot more interesting and real. Of course for the character I drew inspiration from a wide selection of tribes because in a fantasy setting I have that kind of license. Still need to learn some more before I feel confident actually presenting the character and not having him feel like some sort of awkward stereotype.

I also really like making characters that are direct references to famous actors/characters. I know I have a western aesthetic monk based on Jackie Chan’s character from Shanghai Noon. And, of course, the Two Weapon Fighting Half-Orc Barbarian based on Drax.

Anybody else like to do that sort of thing? I find the entire exercise to be incredibly fun

D&D 5E NPC - Gera Oakmantle - Dwarf Ranger

Art by: Magnus Norén

Name: Gera Oakmantle
Race: Mountain Dwarf
Gender: Male
Height: 4ft 8’ / 1.42m
Age: 68
Class: Ranger

Level: 4

AC 16 (Scale Mail), Hp 38 (4d6 Hit Die), Proficiency+2, Speed 25ft

Alignment: Chaotic Good

languages: Common, Dwarven, Orcish 

Ability Scores:
Str 18 (+4) Dex 16 (+3) Con 18 (+4) Int 10 (+0) Wis 12 (+1) Cha 10 (+0)

Attacks: Battleaxe (+6 to hit, 1d8+4 Slashing Damage) and Off hand Dagger (+6 to hit, 1d4 Piercing Damage) or Light Crossbow (+5 to hit, 1d8+3 Piercing Damage)

Spellcasting: 4th level Ranger, spellcasting ability is Wis (spell save DC 11, to hit with spell attacks +3)

1st level (3 slots): Alarm, Cure Wounds, Speak with Animals

Skills: Athletics, Medicine, Stealth, Survival,

Equipment: Scale Mail, Battleaxe, Dagger, Explorer's Pack, Light-Crossbow, 20 Bolts, 8sp

Racial Traits: Darkvision (60ft / 18m / 12sqr), Dwarven Resilience, Dwarven Resilience, Stonecunning,

Class Features: Favoured Enemy (Goblinoids), Natural Explorer (Mountains), Fighting Style (Two-weapon Fighting), Ranger Archetype (Hunter),


Gera Oakmantle is a man of few words but he’s kind and willing to help those in need.

Ideal: My kin might live under the mountain but I prefer to live on top of it, No matter what my family might think.

Bond: A few years ago I ran a Goblin pack boss named Tubgut Nailfang off this mountain and he swore one day he’d be back with a bigger pack.

Flaw: An avalanche killed my friends. I’ll help those in need but other than that I won’t make the mistake of friendship again.

anonymous asked:

I'm playing DnD 5e how do I make the punch mage good?

There are a few ways.

If you want a strict punch mage, you can try to go with brass knuckles (1d4 str) and go Eldritch Knight. Grab the two weapon fighting style and possibly the dual wielder feat. If you have a good DM, try homebrewing cool gauntlet weapons.

If brass knuckles aren’t an option and you need to stick to core, start with a level in monk. You can dip to 3 for the way of the four elements, but get back to fighter first and take those monk levels later, probably after 5 to 11 levels of fighter. It’ll make you a dex fighter but there’s nothing wrong with that. The extra off hand attack and occasional furry of blows will sync nicely with action surge (provided you channel you inner JoJo). You can also grab tavern brawler, to get the d4 fists if you’re worried about losing fighter levels. You can get it at 1st level as a variant human.

If you can really work with your DM, you could argue a punching weapon that is the same a s a dagger. That way you could go bladesinger (fistsinger?)

Do keep in mind that the melee cantrips require a weapon, so raw unarmed technically doesn’t work with them (though I’ve had DMs vary on their opinion,)

If you’re in desprate need of better punch damage within the rules, alter self can give you d6 +1 natural weapons, so a having 3 levels in Wizard (go abjuration or war mage for this) could cast it twice. Warlocks can for cast it for free but not until level 15. Still, punchlock could be viable with brass knuckles or other martial punch weapon.

If you have to go no feats, no multiclassing, no homebrew, go fighter (eldritch knight) and tie daggers to your wrists. There’s technically nothing in the rules against it.

It takes a bit of creativity to get a real punch mage going, but it’s immensely satisfying in the end. If you end up going for, I’d love to hear some stories.



For the truly exemplary, martial skill transcends the battlefield—it is a lifestyle, a doctrine, a state of mind. These warrior-artists search out methods of battle beyond swords and shields, finding weapons within themselves just as capable of crippling or killing as any blade. These monks (so called since they adhere to ancient philosophies and strict martial disciplines) elevate their bodies to become weapons of war, from battle-minded ascetics to self-taught brawlers. Monks tread the path of discipline, and those with the will to endure that path discover within themselves not what they are, but what they are meant to be.

Monks excel at overcoming even the most daunting perils, striking where it’s least expected, and taking advantage of enemy vulnerabilities. Fleet of foot and skilled in combat, monks can navigate any battlefield with ease, aiding allies wherever they are needed most.

Alignment: Any lawful.

Hit Die: d8.

Class Skills:
The monk’s class skills are Acrobatics (Dex), Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Escape Artist (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Knowledge (history) (Int), Knowledge (religion) (Int), Perception (Wis), Perform (Cha), Profession (Wis), Ride (Dex), Sense Motive (Wis), Stealth (Dex), and Swim (Str).

Skill Ranks per Level: 4 + Int modifier.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Monks are proficient with the club, crossbow (light or heavy), dagger, handaxe, javelin, kama, nunchaku, quarterstaff, sai, shortspear, short sword, shuriken, siangham, sling, and spear.

Monks are not proficient with any armor or shields.

When wearing armor, using a shield, or carrying a medium or heavy load, a monk loses his AC bonus, as well as his fast movement and flurry of blows abilities.

AC Bonus (Ex): When unarmored and unencumbered, the monk adds his Wisdom bonus (if any) to his AC and his CMD. In addition, a monk gains a +1 bonus to AC and CMD at 4th level. This bonus increases by 1 for every four monk levels thereafter, up to a maximum of +5 at 20th level.

These bonuses to AC apply even against touch attacks or when the monk is flat-footed. He loses these bonuses when he is immobilized or helpless, when he wears any armor, when he carries a shield, or when he carries a medium or heavy load.

Flurry of Blows (Ex): Starting at 1st level, a monk can make a flurry of blows as a full-attack action. When doing so, he may make on additional attack, taking a -2 penalty on all of his attack rolls, as if using the Two-Weapon Fighting feat. These attacks can be any combination of unarmed strikes and attacks with a monk special weapon (he does not need to use two weapons to use this ability). For the purpose of these attacks, the monk’s base attack bonus from his monk class levels is equal to his monk level. For all other purposes, such as qualifying for a feat or a prestige class, the monk uses his normal base attack bonus.

At 8th level, the monk can make two additional attacks when he uses flurry of blows, as if using Improved Two-Weapon Fighting (even if the monk does not meet the prerequisites for the feat).

At 15th level, the monk can make three additional attacks using flurry of blows, as if using Greater Two-Weapon Fighting (even if the monk does not meet the prerequisites for the feat).

A monk applies his full Strength bonus to his damage rolls for all successful attacks made with flurry of blows, whether the attacks are made with an off-hand or with a weapon wielded in both hands. A monk may substitute disarm, sunder, and trip combat maneuvers for unarmed attacks as part of a flurry of blows. A monk cannot use any weapon other than an unarmed strike or a special monk weapon as part of a flurry of blows. A monk with natural weapons cannot use such weapons as part of a flurry of blows, nor can he make natural attacks in addition to his flurry of blows attacks.

Unarmed Strike: At 1st level, a monk gains Improved Unarmed Strike as a bonus feat. A monk’s attacks may be with fist, elbows, knees, and feet. This means that a monk may make unarmed strikes with his hands full. There is no such thing as an off-hand attack for a monk striking unarmed. A monk may thus apply his full Strength bonus on damage rolls for all his unarmed strikes.

Usually a monk’s unarmed strikes deal lethal damage, but he can choose to deal nonlethal damage instead with no penalty on his attack roll. He has the same choice to deal lethal or nonlethal damage while grappling.

A monk’s unarmed strike is treated as both a manufactured weapon and a natural weapon for the purpose of spells and effects that enhance or improve either manufactured weapons or natural weapons.

A monk also deals more damage with his unarmed strikes than a normal person would, as shown above on Table: Monk. The unarmed damage values listed on Table: Monk is for Medium monks. A Small monk deals less damage than the amount given there with his unarmed attacks, while a Large monk deals more damage; see Small or Large Monk Unarmed Damage on the table given below.

Small or Large Monk Unarmed Damage
Level (Small) (Large)
1st–3rd 1d4 1d8
4th–7th 1d6 2d6
8th–11th 1d8 2d8
12th–15th 1d10 3d6
16th–19th 2d6 3d8
20th 2d8 4d8

Bonus Feat: At 1st level, 2nd level, and every 4 levels thereafter, a monk may select a bonus feat. These feats must be taken from the following list: Catch Off-Guard, Combat Reflexes, Deflect Arrows, Dodge, Improved Grapple, Scorpion Style, and Throw Anything. At 6th level, the following feats are added to the list: Gorgon’s Fist, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Disarm, Improved Feint, Improved Trip, and Mobility. At 10th level, the following feats are added to the list: Improved Critical, Medusa’s Wrath, Snatch Arrows, and Spring Attack. A monk need not have any of the prerequisites normally required for these feats to select them.

Stunning Fist (Ex): At 1st level, the monk gains Stunning Fist as a bonus feat, even if he does not meet the prerequisites. At 4th level, and every 4 levels thereafter, the monk gains the ability to apply a new condition to the target of his Stunning Fist. This condition replaces stunning the target for 1 round, and a successful saving throw still negates the effect. At 4th level, he can choose to make the target fatigued. At 8th level, he can make the target sickened for 1 minute. At 12th level, he can make the target staggered for 1d6+1 rounds. At 16th level, he can permanently blind or deafen the target. At 20th level, he can paralyze the target for 1d6+1 rounds. The monk must choose which condition will apply before the attack roll is made. These effects do not stack with themselves (a creature sickened by Stunning Fist cannot become nauseated if hit by Stunning Fist again), but additional hits do increase the duration.

Evasion (Ex): At 2nd level or higher, a monk can avoid damage from many area-effect attacks. If a monk makes a successful Reflex saving throw against an attack that normally deals half damage on a successful save, he instead takes no damage. Evasion can be used only if a monk is wearing light armor or no armor. A helpless monk does not gain the benefit of evasion.

Fast Movement (Ex): At 3rd level, a monk gains an enhancement bonus to his land speed, as shown on Table: Monk. A monk in armor or carrying a medium or heavy load loses this extra speed.

Maneuver Training (Ex): At 3rd level, a monk uses his monk level in place of his base attack bonus when calculating his Combat Maneuver Bonus. Base attack bonuses granted from other classes are unaffected and are added normally.

Still Mind (Ex): A monk of 3rd level or higher gains a +2 bonus on saving throws against enchantment spells and effects.

Ki Pool (Su): At 4th level, a monk gains a pool of ki points, supernatural energy he can use to accomplish amazing feats. The number of points in a monk’s ki pool is equal to ½ his monk level + his Wisdom modifier. As long as he has at least 1 point in his ki pool, he can make a ki strike. At 4th level, ki strike allows his unarmed attacks to be treated as magic weapons for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction. At 7th level, his unarmed attacks are also treated as cold iron and silver for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction. At 10th level, his unarmed attacks are also treated as lawful weapons for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction. At 16th level, his unarmed attacks are treated as adamantine weapons for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction and bypassing hardness.

By spending 1 point from his ki pool, a monk can make one additional attack at his highest attack bonus when making a flurry of blows attack. In addition, he can spend 1 point to increase his speed by 20 feet for 1 round. Finally, a monk can spend 1 point from his ki pool to give himself a +4 dodge bonus to AC for 1 round. Each of these powers is activated as a swift action. A monk gains additional powers that consume points from his ki pool as he gains levels.

The ki pool is replenished each morning after 8 hours of rest or meditation; these hours do not need to be consecutive.

Slow Fall (Ex): At 4th level or higher, a monk within arm’s reach of a wall can use it to slow his descent. When first gaining this ability, he takes damage as if the fall were 20 feet shorter than it actually is. The monk’s ability to slow his fall (that is, to reduce the effective distance of the fall when next to a wall) improves with his monk level until at 20th level he can use a nearby wall to slow his descent and fall any distance without harm.

High Jump (Ex): At 5th level, a monk adds his level to all Acrobatics checks made to jump, both for vertical jumps and horizontal jumps. In addition, he always counts as having a running start when making jump checks using Acrobatics. By spending 1 point from his ki pool as a swift action, a monk gains a +20 bonus on Acrobatics checks made to jump for 1 round.

Purity of Body (Ex): At 5th level, a monk gains immunity to all diseases, including supernatural and magical diseases.

Wholeness of Body (Su): At 7th level or higher, a monk can heal his own wounds as a standard action. He can heal a number of hit points of damage equal to his monk level by using 2 points from his ki pool.

Improved Evasion (Ex): At 9th level, a monk’s evasion ability improves. He still takes no damage on a successful Reflex saving throw against attacks, but henceforth he takes only half damage on a failed save. A helpless monk does not gain the benefit of improved evasion.

Diamond Body (Su): At 11th level, a monk gains immunity to poisons of all kinds.

Abundant Step (Su): At 12th level or higher, a monk can slip magically between spaces, as if using the spell dimension door. Using this ability is a move action that consumes 2 points from his ki pool. His caster level for this effect is equal to his monk level. He cannot take other creatures with him when he uses this ability.

Diamond Soul (Ex): At 13th level, a monk gains spell resistance equal to his current monk level + 10. In order to affect the monk with a spell, a spellcaster must get a result on a caster level check (1d20 + caster level) that equals or exceeds the monk’s spell resistance.

Quivering Palm (Su): Starting at 15th level, a monk can set up vibrations within the body of another creature that can thereafter be fatal if the monk so desires. He can use this quivering palm attack once per day, and he must announce his intent before making his attack roll. Creatures immune to critical hits cannot be affected. Otherwise, if the monk strikes successfully and the target takes damage from the blow, the quivering palm attack succeeds. Thereafter, the monk can try to slay the victim at any later time, as long as the attempt is made within a number of days equal to his monk level. To make such an attempt, the monk merely wills the target to die (a free action), and unless the target makes a Fortitude saving throw (DC 10 + ½ the monk’s level + the monk’s Wis modifier), it dies. If the saving throw is successful, the target is no longer in danger from that particular quivering palm attack, but it may still be affected by another one at a later time. A monk can have no more than 1 quivering palm in effect at one time. If a monk uses quivering palm while another is still in effect, the previous effect is negated.

Timeless Body (Ex): At 17th level, a monk no longer takes penalties to his ability scores for aging and cannot be magically aged. Any such penalties that he has already taken, however, remain in place. Age bonuses still accrue, and the monk still dies of old age when his time is up.

Tongue of the Sun and Moon (Ex): A monk of 17th level or higher can speak with any living creature.

Empty Body (Su): At 19th level, a monk gains the ability to assume an ethereal state for 1 minute as though using the spell etherealness. Using this ability is a move action that consumes 3 points from his ki pool. This ability only affects the monk and cannot be used to make other creatures ethereal.

Perfect Self: At 20th level, a monk becomes a magical creature. He is forevermore treated as an outsider rather than as a humanoid (or whatever the monk’s creature type was) for the purpose of spells and magical effects. Additionally, the monk gains damage reduction 10/chaotic, which allows him to ignore the first 10 points of damage from any attack made by a nonchaotic weapon or by any natural attack made by a creature that doesn’t have similar damage reduction. Unlike other outsiders, the monk can still be brought back from the dead as if he were a member of his previous creature type.

A monk who becomes nonlawful cannot gain new levels as a monk but retains all monk abilities.


The Phantom Menace/Attack of the Clones | Deleted Scene | This Weapon Is Your Life AKA The Apple Didn’t Fall Far from the Kenobi Tree

It seems it’s everything about parallels in the SW fandom nowadays, and it truly is - everybody keeps comparing Anakin to Luke, Anakin to Rey, Anakin to Kylo Ren, Anakin to Leia,…, but it’s rare to see comparisons made between Anakin and Obi-Wan, despite the fact that they are so many of them in the movies and that in a lot of ways these two men, who became brothers to each other, connected by a bond much stronger than blood, are so similar. Though, there is one parallel of which the fans of the duo have been deprived - their tendency to lose or damage their lightsabers during their Padawan years. In AOTC, Anakin’s inability to keep his weapon safe or intact became a running joke. Imagine how much more hilarious it would have been, if we saw Obi-Wan being the same scatterbrain and impulsive hothead in his youth. It would add another proof that lightsaber issues are truly a heriditary trait passed down from generation to generation in the Obi-Anakin-Luke line. One of my favourite things about TPM is the fact that we get to see Obi-Wan being the young, cocky and impetuous Jedi who is often prone to talk back to his Master, not unlike Anakin. 

In a cut scene from the TPM, Obi-Wan hides in the murky swamp waters after landing on Naboo and eventually makes his way through the woods to find Qui-Gon. Later, the STAPs begin to chase him, just before Qui-Gon steps in to help him out. After his Master uses his lightsaber to save his Padawan he scolds him gently, reinforcing the Master/Apprentice relationship they have together in the movie. This takes place right before Jar Jar pops up and Obi-Wan asks, “What’s this?” 

An exhausted Obi-Wan wiped his muddied brow, gasping for breath. “Sorry, Master. The swamp fried my lightsaber.”
He pulled out his weapon. The business end was blackened and burned. Qui-Gon took it from him and gave it a cursory inspection. Behind him, Jar Jar Binks pulled himself out of the muddy swamp water and blinked curiously at the newly arrived Jedi.
“You forgot to turn off your power again, didn’t you, Obi-Wan?” his friend asked pointedly.
Obi-Wan nodded sheepishly. “It appears so, Master.”
“It won’t take long to recharge, but it will take some time to clean it up. I trust you have finally learned your lesson, my young Padawan.”
“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan accepted the proffered lightsaber with a chagrined look.

In AOTC, during their pursuit of Zam Wesell, Obi-Wan gives Anakin a little speech about losing his lightsaber reminiscent of this scene in the Naboo swamp where Obi-Wan was the one being taught this lesson in lightsaber management by his Master. There were few lines which were cut from that scene and it’s such a pity because Ewan McGregor manages to infuse his delivery of that single sentence with so much fatherly/brotherly love - the way Obi-wan says it it’s with such powerful mix of good-natured exasperation, his eyes shining with complete love and acceptance for his scatterbrain of a Padawan. Maybe in certain aspects he sees himself in Anakin when he was younger (the abrupt loss of a parent figure, but most importanly it explains that moment in TESB when Yoda tells Obi-Wan that Luke is too rash like his father and Obi-Wan tells him that he used to be the same, clearly alluding to his Padawan years.)

It really does seem to be a heriditary affliction which must have rubbed on Anakin over the years and while it seems that 3 years later he took his Master’s lessons to heart, Obi-Wan is still at it, losing his lightsaber left and right. There is this utterly perfect moment in ROTS which completes the circle between these two brothers when Obi-Wan is disarmed and knocked out during the duel with Dooku, lying unconscious with his weapon next to him. In the next scene, we see him being carried on Anakin’s back with his lightsaber again safely tucked to his belt. It must have happened off-screen but you realize that it must have been Anakin who attached it there!!! Just imagine the perfection of that moment and the sheer significance of that gesture because throughout the entire Saga their lightsabers have been interconnected (they both lost their Padawan lightsabers and created new ones after that), mirroring the relationship between their owners - weapons to protect each other’s life. The next time they meet they use their lightsabers as weapons to kill each other, two legendary warriors and their two legendary weapons fighting each other, and the circle is truly complete.

Obi-Wan’s habit to lose his lightsaber continues on Utapau, but this time there is no Anakin Skywalker to pick it up and lovingly attach it back to Kenobi’s belt.

Pre-snooze angst thought from your old tophat friend

Gabriel deliberately bringing up something he knows will hurt Jack, something personal, something told in confidence.

A viciously low blow that has Jack shell shocked, long enough for Reaper to turn the fight in his favour.

As the Talon agents escape he immediately knows it wasn’t worth it. The way Jack starts to back off slowly, movements stiff and robotic, he knows he messed up big time. He knows Jack would never have stooped to that level.

Guilt-ridden and feeling like utter shit, that night he finds an unmasked 76 on a roof in Gibraltar, curled up and hidden against a crate.

Staring out to the ocean, his expression was just that bit darker, the light just that bit dimmer in those once bright blue eyes.

Basically me(Rogue) and the Fighter got at the same corridor to kill an orc, the problem is, it was too dark, and the corridor were narrow. In my turn i tried to get close to the fighter who have two-weapon fighting feat. but were holding a torch.

me: As I see the orc I try to atack

DM: the corridor is too narrow…

me: OK, I take the torch from the hands of the fighter

fighter(ooc): what?

me: trust me, just take your other sword.

DM: so our brave rogue became a lamp…

Everyone laughs

In the end, I kept illuminating the fight for the fighter, as the safer place to be was in the narrow corridor, instead of the large one where 3 orcs were fighting the rest of the party.

He Has Issues...

Context: We’re playing in a heavily-modified Homebrew 5e campaign, designed to function like a tabletop hack-&-slash, so basically we all hit ridiculously hard, but everything we fight is extra durable and hits nearly as hard. There are five of us (plus the DM), but our two-weapon fight Brinks is the only one relevant here. See, when a target is stunned, he automatically crits them. And if he crits, he gets another attack. So if he hits a stunned target, he’ll keep attacking until he misses three times, which is difficult because he has a +11 bonus to attack. We were fighting a mutated Owl Bear and two Werebears.

DM: The Owl Bear turns to you *points at our Druid, currently a giant ape and leading the charge* and let’s out a screech in a 100-foot cone. Everyone roll Con saves. *rolls for the Werebears*

*everyone except Brinks* : Shit.

DM: *shaking his head* Alright, you’re all stunned, and both of the Werebears are too. And you take 13 points of damage.

Brinks: *laughs maniacally* I attack the Werebear closest to me.

Everyone except me, I only just joined the group: OH SHIT!

DM: Can he beat his record?

I have no clue what’s going on.

*Brinks proceeds to deal a grand total of 628 damage to a Werebear that only had 100 HP left, doubling his apparent BS damage record and reducing the creature to nothing but a puddle, all while laughing like a psychopath (in character)*

We all had to role Con saves to keep from throwing up at the sight of the massacre, and for the rest of the fight, everything had to role dex saves when fighting in the massive puddle of gore or else slip and fall prone.

May The Best Floof Win


Tourmaline by Riots

Gender: Male
Pronouns: He/Him/His
Romantic Orientation: Panromantic
Height: 5'6”
Weapon: Two Tessen Fighting Fans
Gem Type: Tourmaline (Watermelon)
Likes: Rainy days, games, blankets forts, fried cheesecake for some reason
Dislikes: Loud beings, open spaces, his awful nickname “Tortellini”
Hobbies: Games that require patience/time (chess, board games, cards, etc.)
Talents/Skills: Tourmaline excels in peacemaking skills. Capable of recognizing, understanding, and presenting all sides in a situation, he usually can make (or help make) the appropriate decision required.
Relationships: Moldavite by TheCreaterofWorlds
Personality: Tourmaline can appear very meek and aloof at first, only showing his true self after warming up to someone. After his initial shy stage, he shows that he is really a generous, loyal, patient, stubborn, and lazy friend. The closer he is with someone, the more he talks openly with them. He has a natural tendency to cover himself (e.g. long sleeves, blankets, cloaks.) Tourmaline is stubborn when it comes to making decisions, thinking he is right till proven wrong. He loves to lavish his friends with gifts of all kinds, including strange human artifacts. Despite his peacemaking skills, Tourmaline would make a terrible leader. He is, however, a strong-willed follower for a cause he believes is righteous.


•Rapid Reload takes a feat to let me reload my dual wield crossbows quickly

The alternative?

•Carry like 12 crossbows

•With Two-Weapon Fighting and a BAB of +1, i can retrieve two hand crossbows at once as part of a move action, making it essentially a free action to drop bow 1 and 2 and grab 3 and 4

•Fuck you I’m medieval Reaper.

•I can retrieve discarded crossbows post-combat

Here’s my friend JP’s anime inspired drawing of my Ranger, Abigail Goodchild. She is currently level 15 and is specialized in two weapon fighting. Our current group has been in the worlds of Vailmoon and Felnir almost exclusively the past several years. For my group Abigail is now on her record 7th campaign, some were one shots or short term campaigns, but the current campaign is her longest tenure. Orphaned at an early age she made her way from place to place living with elves, humans, gypsies and nomads. She became an Undead hunter to seek revenge on the hordes of Undead responsible for her family’s demise. Her primary weapon is her Undead Bane longsword. A family heirloom (more on that later). Her secondary is a Shocking starknife. In the many years of playing Pathfinder and with several groups Im the first person to ever use the starknife. I have had great success with it. The Goodchild name was my homage to Aeon Flux and the character Trevor Goodchild. I have had several Goodchild characters including Celeste Goodchild (a paladin, naturally with a name like that lol). Within my group the Goodchild name is canon and others have played Goodchild members. Abigail is a descendant unbeknownst to her until is was revealed to her by priests who knew of her family and bestowed on her the family heirloom of the longsword. With her two weapon fighting and feats to go with it she has become our group’s top front line warriors and DPS (damage per second) master. She is true neutral. In part because during her first ever campaign she was the sole survivor of a party wipe out. I played her as she is, a survivor, and escaped to fight another day. She did return and avenged her comrades death though. As a player it was my hardest decision ever and my DM praised me for staying true to character. Since then Abigail lives and fights with passion almost like she has a death wish but is resigned that if she dies she will have honored her previous actions and join her fallen comrades in the next life. As a player who often plays female characters she is my favorite or at least second favorite of my female characters and near the top of all the character Ive created over 20 years of role playing.

[submitted by @flashderos ]


A greatsword the main antagonist of my first campaign, Anan, used which is now being used by Exerain. Its origins still remain a mystery to my players so I won’t be elaborating on that here.

Spellblocker (+5 Greatsword of Unknown Power)

(Major Artifact | CL: 20th | Slot: none | Weight: 15 lbs.)

Details: Can be split into two swords as a free action or merged back together into a greatsword as a free action. Can hit incorporeal targets without error as though enchanted with Ghost Touch. While wielding it as two swords, you are treated as having the Two-Weapon Fighting Feat. When you would take damage from a spell, you take 50% damage instead. When a non-damaging, negative spell effect would affect you it is negated and you take 10d6 damage. You do not need to be wielding this weapon for these effects to occur, but it does need to be somewhere on your person. These effects also occur before any saving throws and can occur in either greatsword or dual sword form.

  • base damage as greatsword (5d6+5; 19-20/x2)
  • base damage as dual swords (3d6+5; 19-20/x2)