do you mind making some more lance hcs?? I've read all of the other ones like 3 times.
anon that’s a lot of headcanons to be reading lmao.. i don’t shut up about my Blue Boy. This is half headcanon/half character analysis lmao.
WHOM UP FOR SOME LANGST.
Lance has a boatload of insecurities, but I don’t think he has depression. (Time to project) What happens is that his ADHD causes him to hyperfocus on his mistakes to the point that he gets trapped in his Hell Brain, stuck in this bad cycle where he constantly berates himself and inflates his personal fears. But he’s normally able to manage because he has a huge support network- his bigass family.
There are definitely little kids in Lance’s family, and being around kids who love you is so nice?? Whenever Lance starts feeling weighed down, he plays with his baby siblings/cousins/neighbors and lets their enthusiasm feed his until everyone is bouncing off the walls and being ushered outside. I’ve probably said this before, but Lance was Born to be an uncle.
Anyway, Lance is used to being surrounded by people he has a deep connection with who truly care about him and love him. So at the Garrison, when he was far away from his family, he struggled a little bit but ultimately supplemented his human contact quota by befriending pretty much everyone. If he knows that people like him, then he can like himself.
Which is why in space he’s kind of… deflating. Because he’s surrounded by people who have rebuffed him before, and it’s hard not to internalize that, ya feel?? Like:
Pidge refused to do anything with Hunk & Lance when they were all at the Garrison, which is fair bc she was in Deep Cover, but Lance obvi didn’t know this so he was honestly kind of hurt?
All his attempts at friendship and bonding were coldly shut down the moment they left his mouth. Lance spent many a sleepless nights wondering what was wrong with him, what aspect of his personality made Pidge hate him on sight.
It… sucks to know that no matter what you do, someone will remain distant, especially if you’re used to making friends. Lance is a fixer, but how can you fix something if you only know part of the problem?
Keith straight up forgot who Lance was. And you know that Lance had really built-up their relationship in his mind. Even if it’s because Lance claims they ‘hated’ each other, it’s clear that Lance considered Keith special in that he was a goal to beat/overcome, and he clearly assumed Keith viewed him the same way. So when they reunited and Keith didn’t recognize him… Ouch.
It hurts to realize that you’ve put way more into a relationship than someone else, but it especially sucks if they never even noticed you in the first place.
Also, lots of resentment issues thanks to the Garrison constantly comparing Lance to Keith. Bastards.
Shiro is Lance’s hero, but Shiro is such… a jackass to Lance gsdhkjgd I’m so mad about how Shiro has been treating Lance as the show progresses.
Shiro kind of… assumes that they’re equals, which normally is fine, but Shiro physically pushes/shoves Lance around, ignores his opinions, and tells him to knock it off whenever Lance acts like himself.
And between close friends, that behavior can be ‘acceptable’, but again: Lance looks up to Shiro. So this treatment.. I can only see Lance negatively internalizing it. How good of a teammate can you be if your hero only ever treats you as a joke?
And Allura… it’s clear she’s really not interested in Lance’s flirting. Which would be fine, but it’s kind of been their entire relationship so far (mainly because of Bad Writing), so when Allura rejects Lance’s bad pick-up line she kind of rejects any connection at all, including friendship.
Like, you can argue that this is Lance’s fault for constantly hitting on her, but Allura’s natural response to Lance is either Carefully Maintained Neutrality or clear exasperation.
That’s not exactly… a warm welcome, so I could see Lance slowly just starting to avoid her. Because it SUCKS to enter someone’s line of view and immediately see their smile drop a fraction. It sucks to know that someone immediately has their guard up the moment you try to talk to them. It sucks to feel like you’ve sabotaged any chances before you even knew you had them. It sucks to realize that you, and your personality, made someone feel this way, and that you are the problem. From there, you learn it’s better to just… stay away, and stay quiet.
TLDR Lance is really only comfortable comfortable around Hunk and Coran. And the Space Mice, provided they don’t rat him out to Allura.
Lance internalizes a lot of stuff lmao. He reacts by overcompensating; when he feels hurt or out of his depth, he amps up his ego, he goes all out with the flirting, he uses bravado to cover up any cracks in his armor.
(If you keep making them laugh, then they’re too busy to laugh at you.)
Lance is his own worst enemy. If someone yells at him and calls him a failure, he can get righteously angry and ignore what they said or crack a joke to ease the tension. He can deflect. It’s when he’s alone, when he has time to think, that he begins to place more pressure on himself.
You know how people can become paralyzed by their perfectionism? They’re so worried about getting the end product perfect that they can’t even start the process. That’s Lance, to some extent.
He prunes his own self/image. If he can’t get something right, he cuts it out of his personality. He doesn’t cling to it. He gets rid of anything he thinks makes him a failure, anything that shows that he’s useless. All those branches, traits, imperfections- they’re snipped away. And what he’s left with, he clings to. This is his absolute. This is his foundation. These are the tenants he builds himself up from. He’s the ladies man. He’s the sharpshooter. He’s the funny one. This is what makes Lance McClain worthwhile.
So when that foundation gets rocked… it’s bad. And normally, he can spring back, because he has his support network. But right now he’s billions of light years away from home, stuck with a team that only seems to like him 70% of the time.
Trust is a weird thing, isn’t it? It’s something people take so seriously, yet they also turned it into a game. Lance just falls, and sees what happens.
Lance made a grunt sound as he hit the ground in front of Pidge. Pidge shook her head slowly, gripping her laptop closer to her body.
“I trusted you.” Lance narrowed his eyes up to her. He laid there, arms splayed on his sides, a pout playing on his face. “I even gave you a warning.”
Pidge rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Do you think I’m just gonna drop my laptop to catch you for your dumb game? I’m sorry, Lance, but I’m really busy right now.”
Lance pout deepens, but nodded his head in understanding as Pidge lowered her face to give him a smile.
“Next time buddy, okay?”
Lance wanted to try it again, but this time it was with Hunk.
Lance walked a slow pace towards Hunk, humming innocently and tunefully, his arms at his sides until he was a close enough to Hunk for him to make the catch.
“Trust fall!” Lance shouted, turning his back and letting gravity take him down, falling, hoping a pair of arms would catch him.
Sadly, there weren’t.
“Oh, Lance!!” Hunk shouted in surprise, almost dropping, his plates, “Stop doing that! I can’t catch you with my hands full!!”
Hunk set the plates he was going to use for the food later down, holding out his hand for Lance to take, which he does.
“I trusted you.” Lance chuckled jokingly, narrowing his eyes as he did with Pidge. He grabbed the plates down and handed them back to Hunk.
“Sorry, dude,” Hunk frowned as soon as his hands was full of the plates again. He shifted his arms for a better position for the plates, and smiled. “Just kinda caught me off guard.”
“Ahh, don’t worry, it’s just fun and games,” Lance shrugged, “Don’t drop me next time, butterfingers.” He chuckled, and Hunk gave him a smile and shook his head, nudging Lance’s arm with his own.
“Next time, buddy, okay?”
Keith was next on his list.
It was after training of course. Lance had waited for Keith to be done with the bot, as it fell hard to the ground in pieces, Keith ended the session and moved out of the training area, where Lance waits for him near the entrance.
Lance was a little nervous for this one, considering that he would expect Keith to be the last person to catch him. But reality is, Lance doesn’t care if Keith catched him or not.
Because he already trusts Keith with his life.
Lance cracked a smirk, his arms ready to be stretched out, falling back on either against the cold floor of the castle, or the warmth of Keith’s arms and body.
He popped out, seeing the surprise in Keith’s purple eyes, and fell back.
“Trust fall!!!” He yelled.
Gravity took him, but instead of a pair of arms catching him, it was the whole body instead, taking both Keith and himself to the ground.
“Agh, LANCE!!” Keith groaned, “Get your dead weight off of me!!”
Lance laughed playfully, like a puppy looking for attention.
“Keeeeeith,” he pouted, sitting up and straddling his hips purposely, “I trusted you!”
Lance could’ve sworn he saw a quick pink flush on Keith’s cheeks, but he let that thought out of his mind.
Keith pursed his lips, not knowing what to do as if Lance straddling his hips was a once in a life kind of thing.
Keith gritted his teeth. “Get. Off.”
Lance would be hurt by this, but he caught the flicker of a smile on the corner of Keith’s mouth, knowing he was enjoying this as much as he was.
“I swear to God, LANCE!!” Keith whined, “You’re crushing me!!”
Lance grinned widely, and crossed his arms, a thought running across his mind.
“Promise me you’ll catch me next time, then.” Lance smirked.
Lance smiled again, taking his hands and tickling Keith’s sides, causing him to laugh uncontrollably. A laugh that could save his life, a sound that he finds the most comfort in when the days were dark.
Lance laughed wildly too. “Promise me!”
“I-haha!!-I-sTOP IT!!” Lance caught tears in Keith’s eyes from laughing too hard, clutching his sides and wiggling underneath Lance, his body warm from the contact.
Lance decided that his next target shall be Shiro.
But hey, what other ways can he spend his time around the castle without having a little fun for himself?
He peered around the corridor wher he saw Shiro talking to Allura about what move they shall proceed next with Zarkon and his army at hand on one of the screens, dragging their hands across it as they make the plans.
Lance wonders if even Shiro would drop everything just to catch him.
Lance made a small smile to himself, and walked in unnoticed, not listening to the talk exchanges between Shiro and Allura.
“Trust fall!!” Lance smiled widely, confident that maybe he would be caught.
Instead, he had his trust back on the floor.
Allura yelped in surprise and confusion, and Shiro just groaned with frustration.
“Ahh, Lance!” He raised his voice, “Not now!!”
Lance felt his heart break just a little, but it was alright. It was only fun and games, anyways.
“I trusted you.” Lance pouted, chuckling again. His arms at his sides, his head tilted up to look at Shiro and Allura, who both towered over him like his parents would when he was about to get -dun dun dun- la chancla.
Lance’s chuckle turned more into a light hearted laugh. It was enough for Shiro to lower his gaze to a more calm expression, cracking a small smile as he helped Lance back up.
Allura raised an eyebrow, still confused. “Is this ‘trust fall’ an earth thing?”
“Kind of,” Shiro chucked, “Hey, Lance, maybe you should stop doing this to everyone. We’re not always gonna be prepared, you’re always catching us off guard.”
Lance felt a small frown forming on his mouth when looked down, staring the ground where he was just laying. He felt a little guilty annoying everyone.
That “trust fall” thing was only something that he would do with his siblings, who no matter what they were doing or how annoyed they were, they would drop everything just to catch the boy in their arms.
It was all just fun and games, right?
“Sorry, Shiro,” Lance chuckled sheepishly, “I was just trying to pass the time.”
Allura grinned, “Well, you’re in luck Lance. Shiro and I have just finished our plan for when we infiltrate the Galra. Get the others, too. Are you ready?”
Lance’s eyes went up, a small smile finding its way back on his face.
He decided to do it just one last time.
That’s all that came to his mind. That’s all he wanted to do. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.
Lance was the one who drew the attention. He drew the attention away from Shiro and Pidge, so that they could get closer to what they needed.
Lance felt himself cornered, surrounded by the Galra.
He lifted his gun, ready to fire when they did.
And when they did, he just wasn’t quick enough to avoid all four guns aiming and firing him.
He remembers hearing the blast ricochet from all four.
He remembers their taunting words, how -useless- he was and how -irritating- he must be for his teammates to leave him all alone.
He remembers the aching pain from his chest to his leg, a burning sensation that his grandchildren could’ve felt.
He remembers seeing the Galra fall back, leading themselves to believe that they have killed one.
He remembers standing on his two, thinking of the first time he walked his first steps towards his older brother, now thinking of how these were him possibly taking his last few steps.
He remembers hearing echoes of voices and blasts coming from the end of the corridor of the Galra ship.
He remembers hearing Keith’s shouts stand out from the rest.
He remembers Keith’s laugh and his smile, which urges him forward.
Holding his sides, cracking his smile possibly for the last time, he takes bigger steps to get closer to Keith, who was crouching down behind a busted machine, a good hideaway from the Galra’s blasts.
As Lance got closer, he took smaller steps, croaking out his next words.
Although, instead of falling back, he fell forward, gravity pulling him down, expecting to feel the cold ground of the Galra ship.
Instead he felt a pair of arms in front of him, and when he looked up, he saw a sight of someone, an expression he hopes to never see on his face again. The expression of pain and concern, eyes wide in panic. Brows furrowed worriedly, and mouth tightened as if trying to hold in the sobs. He saw the tears prickling his face.
Lance didn’t want to see that. He didn’t want to see Keith like that ever again.
“I trust you,” Lance chuckled, feeling Keith adjusting him in his arms, cradling him close to his own body, despite the fact that he was being drenched in Lance’s blood.
“S-Shut up, Lance, j-just-shut-,” Keith choked, trying to get a hold of himself. “You’re gonna be alright, you’re gonna-you have to-”
Lance lifted his hand and tangled it in Keith’s hair. He just wanted to see Keith smile one more time. He saw Keith shout something into his intercom of his helmet frantically.
Lance felt Keith tighten his grip on him when he felt himself drift away, as if he believes that the tighter he held on, the longer Lance will stay.
“I’m..not going a-anywhere Keith, but you..don’t n-need me,” Lance just laughed, “I’m just the s-seventh wheel.”
Lance was so close to Keith that he could hear the breath caught in Keith’s mouth.
“No, y-you’re not, you idiot,” Keith’s tears rolled down his cheeks, “Y-You weren’t supposed to go out like this. You -aren’t- supposed to–We were just getting-,” he sniffled, laughing like him crying was so stupid, “getting started.”
Lance laughed, and hugged himself closer to Keith, taking in his scent, even if his blood spilled over him.
Finally, he heard other voices, other hands trying to help him up. But all he did was held onto Keith tighter.
All Lance wanted to do was just lay there, knowing that his silly little trust fall wasn’t all stupid. He wanted to lay there, with Keith holding him close as if he was precious cargo. The longer Keith held on, the longer Lance will hold on.
Trust is a precious cargo that Lance likes to hold on. It’s funny, you know. The way it’s been made into a kind of game he held on as a kid? The way he trusts Keith with his own life. The kind of trust that turns a certain bond into something more than one person hoping the other will catch them.
It’s funny, the way he believes that falling is just like flying, except there’s a more permanent destination. Whether it’s the cold floor of a castle or a ship, or the warmth of someone who cares about him.
Lance didn’t really know when it started. There were too many incidents to pinpoint its exact origins. It could have began when he tried to jump out the window when he was six to prove that he could totally fly Marcos. Or when he was nine and ate a bee when Lily said they were dangerous, because how dangerous can a chubby little bumblebee be? It was like it was always there, this little voice urging him to prove his worth through dangerous tasks.
it wasn’t until he was fifteen when the real trouble began.
Once again, the origins of the power he was given was unknown to him. He sorta just woke up one day and bam, he felt the emotions of everyone in the house. To say it was overwhelming would be an understatement. He could practically taste his mother’s worry and his sister’s sadness and he just wanted to help them you know? Ease their pain, because no one deserved to feel those emotions. Perhaps it was then that he became aware of the feelings his felt since he was a kid. He had a form of lachesism, or at least that’s what the therapist his parents forced him to go to told him.
It took countless hours of research to figure out what the hell lachesism even was, since it wasn’t something that simply popped up in everyday conversations. And the whole emotions things? Yeah, it took a while to figure out how that fit into this mess.
In fact, he was still trying to figure it all out when he went to the Garrison, which was yet another mess because he could feel all of the students’ emotions too. His family’s emotions were barely a sliver of what he had to endure every day. There was just, just so much sadness here. It was like a new wave hit him every time he moved, encasing him in this bubble of hurt. It was too much at times, causing him to spiral into anxiety attacks when Hunk was asleep.
Yet, he thrived in the pain he was forced to endure everyday. Maybe it was the fact he was given this power to know what everyone was feeling, but he finally felt like he was worth something. Who else could stand feeling other’s emotions constantly thrown at them, if they were not at least worth something. Call it middle child syndrome, but Lance finally felt like he could make a difference. He could help these people! All he had to do was try to keep them happy and their sadness would begin to melt away.
Thus, class-clown Lance was born at the age of 16, who was always there to crack a joke. He learned to talk more to make others feel comfortable and laugh loud enough for everyone to feel included. Finally, Lance felt clarity in his mind for the first time in years, and he was able to truly believe he had worth.
However this only solved the problem for a bit, as smiles can only go so far. Soon the sadness returned, albeit weaker than before, but it was still there. This unsettled Lance more than he thought it would. How could he help now? How could he prove he was more than just a cargo pilot? He was already struggling to keep up with Keith and now this?
It was when Lance was comforting Hunk after a panic attack did he realize just how far his powers could reach.
The two had been cuddling when Lance felt thispull, this tug towards Hunk’s emotions that he never felt before. He followed it of course and the feeling was indescribable. It was like he drowning in Hunk’s emotions, each feeling circling around him, urging him to touch, to feel. Shakily, he mentally reached out for the anxiety that kept bubbling up and it was like he sinking in this void of emotions that was endless. It wormed itself inside of Lance until it was gone, residing within him rather than Hunk. It was terrifying.
But Hunk’s smile after it was over, his slight laughter as he stated he felt better than he had in years, made it all worth it.
After being swept up in the whirlwind that was Voltron, Lance knew once again that he had worth. It wasn’t in his shooting capabilities or in his powerful bond with his lion or even in the persona he still continued. No, it was in the way he took away Pidge’s worry and soothed it with reassurance, how he slipped into Shiro’s room at night and removed the terror that plagued him to allow him a decent night of rest, and in the way he harbored Allura and Coran’s homesickness for the world they lost and offered them the feeling of family instead. This was his purpose, his way of showing his worth in subtle ways.
It took a toll on Lance though, the emotions he took away finding a home in his chest, weighing him down. He could feel the anxiety in his fingertips, the fear in his bones, and the never ending sadness in his mind. But it was worth it wasn’t it? He was protecting his teammates from the pain of these awful emotions, keeping up the spirits of Voltron through his pain. It was worth it.
Blue didn’t think so. She’d often lecture Lance on overdoing it and how it truly wasn’t worth it, but couldn’t she see that it was? By him feeling this, surviving through this, he was able to see Pidge laugh freely and Hunk grow into his role as a paladin. Watch as Keith became more open to the group, his previous doubts now backed up with trust in his team.
Oh cub, can’t you see how it weighs you down, how it tears you apart? She had asked one morning, specifically after a nasty panic attack. Can’t you see you’re worth more than this? That you’re more than just Lance, that you’re my paladin who doesn’t deserve this? Can’t you see?
But in the grand scheme of things, his wellbeing doesn’t matter, only that Voltron can still form. He was simply helping the process and he would be there for his team no matter what.
Despite this, Lance began to close in on himself. He spent hours upon hours with Blue, strengthening his powers so he could become more. He learned to manipulate the emotions, how to expel them onto others, making them feel the pain he suffered through each and everyday. He still went through his daily cleaning, helping each Paladin in whatever form they needed before heading back to his hangar and remaining there till night. The persona Lance built back at the Garrison had begun to crack, but it was fine because he was becoming stronger right? Now he could truly protect his team. He was no longer an emotional dump. He could send those emotions to whoever he pleased. He had worth.
The team began to get worried, however. They noticed how Lance began to close up, disappearing for hours on end. They knew they had to do something about it, but how?
“Maybe we could corner him?” Keith suggested, shrugging.
“No, no, he wouldn’t tell us what was wrong if we did that. How about we call him up to the bridge?” Hunk replied, glancing at Shiro, who was pacing.
“I don’t think that’ll work Hunk, you’ve seen Lance. Our best bet might be to go down to his hangar and speak to him there, the Blue Lion might help back us up,” Shiro sighed, looking down the hallway to where the hangars were,”I know he might freeze up but it’s the only option that gives us the backup of a lion.”
The team nodded, Hunk simply turning silently, before beginning their dissent towards the hangars, nervousness tickling the back of their necks. It wasn’t long until they all stood before the door of the Blue Lion’s hangar. With a quick glance at the team Shiro was about to open it when it opened on its own silently, shocking the team slightly. Blue hummed quietly in the back of their minds before disappearing, allowing the paladins to enter her hangar.
Hunk almost fainted at what awaited them, the rest gasping at the sight before them.
There in the middle of the hangar, sat Lance surrounded by a hurricane of black that swirled faster with each passing second. His eyes were squeezed shut, not seeing the paladins, yet they all felt like he just knew. It was when he opened his eyes that all hell broke loose.
lance,,, Keith,,,, the lights of my life,,,, where are your shades or safety glasses on that motorcycle,,,, you will get dirt or rocks in your eyes,,, (I'm not trying to be rude and point out mistakes btw. this isn't meant to offend in anyway, I'm just trying to encourage good safety procedures. I see a lot of art where they don't have things covering their eyes and that's really dangerous)