two halves of my heart

Imaging Skyping with Jensen from the airport when your flight gets delayed

“Two more hours, I can’t believe they delayed your flight,” Jensen whined as he sipped his drink, pouting on his laptop as you two Skyped. It had been three long weeks apart and while he was continuing filming in Vancouver you had been in LA shooting reshoot for a movie.

“I know, by the time I get there now we’ll be leaving for comic con,” you signed as you sank in the airport seat.

“You’re pretty,” Jensen cooed in the laptop.

“I should join the club and get drunk I guess.”

“Y/N, hurry up, we can’t listen to him complain anymore, you know he’s been sleeping in your trailer because Pretty Boy over here can’t go home?” Jared Teased as he popped up in the screen.

“Is that true, Jay, no wonder you look so tired,” you felt horrible, you two barely spent a night a way from each other.

“I Heart you, my dear,” Jensen made a two halves of a heart with his hands and joined them around your face. Jared and Misha joined suite.

“So Cliff will be picking me up given the state of my fiancé?” You missed him more than anything, but he looked in no condition you’ve driving.

“Woah, beautiful I,” Jensen slurred, “will be there right at the gate ready to kiss your pretty ass. You’ve been filming this whole time with that Captain America Kid, he’s had his hands on my girl….”

“Don’t worry, Cliff is driving,” Jared yelled over his friend, “go easy on him, someone’s jealous.”

“Jealous? I will kick his red while and blue ass,” Jensen growled.

“Baby, promise me you’ll drink some coffee, and my pretty ass is all yours you know that. I love you, you guys too. Keep him alive until I get there please.” You placed your hand on the screen while the boys had a small discussion whether Jensen could win in a fight against Chris Evans.

“J hearts y/n.” Jensen giggled as You watched Cliff handed Jensen a coffee cup.

You couldn’t wait to be home.

7

I know I just shared Mouse, but these two are my life so I thought I’d let you guys see my whole world in front of me. Mouse Magoo is the tabby dork, and the dark sunshine is her mom, Sorin. They are the two halves of my heart. They join me in bed every morning.

we are each half of something greater,
as the legends say.

we are both carved in lockstep pieces.
and when the bones of our fingers tangle like jigsaw puzzles
i swear upon the sun and the moon and everything bright in the sky
that all my jagged lines could find home between yours,
     and all your frayed edges could find comfort next to mine.

it’s a pity, my beloved half, 
     that greater does not always mean better,
     or even good.

it’s a pity, my beloved half,
    that two halves don’t always make a whole
    and two puzzles pieces don’t always fit in one picture
    and two hearts that beat together don’t always cease together. 

it’s such a pity, my beloved half, 
     sometimes two halves can make a whole heart 
                                                                 a whole story
but sometimes, my beloved, 
sometimes, two halves do not come together so much as collide
and all the spaces between them go up in flames like a volcano
     like a burning star exploding into supernova:
merciless. brilliant. blinding. deadly. 

and what, the legends ask, is left in the aftermath?
why, my beloved half, 
we picked up the shattered pieces of it all–
     of you, of me, of the world we burned in the spaces between us–
we cradled their serrated edges in the nest of our joined hands
we anointed them in the bloody rivers in the creases of our palms.

oh, and we kissed those broken-glass pieces, 
     and we called it love.
oh, and we swallowed those broken-glass pieces
     and we called it remembrance. 
oh, and we whispered with broken-glass voices,
     and we called it holy.

and one day, my beloved half,
they will bury the broken-glass pieces–
     of you, of me, of the world we held in the spaces between us–
and they will call it history.

—  two halves of another apocalypse ( j.p. )
what anathema means to me

i have anxiety. and anxiety is a monster. it keeps me awake for hours and hours every night, and it makes me feel awful…like torture.

anathema is a really important song to me, because it reflects words that i don’t know how to express.

‘you will never know what’s behind my skull’

nobody can ever truly know what’s in my brain. nobody will ever truly understand what pain i have, or what thoughts i go through.

‘so won’t you say goodnight so i can say goodbye?’

i want my anxiety to go away. to just shut off forever. i want to say goodbye to this demon.

'you will never know what’s under my hair’

nobody will ever know exactly what i’m thinking or how anxiety makes me feel, or the bad thoughts it gives me.

'you will never know what’s under my skin’ / 'you will never know what is in my veins’

no one can understand my emotions. no one will truly get how and why i feel about myself the way i do.

'won’t you go to someone else’s dreams?’

i want it to leave. to let me sleep, to let me go.

'haven’t you taken enough from me?’

it’s taken my sleep. it’s taken my passion for certain things. it’s in the way of my dreams of becoming a musician.

'you will never understand what i believe’

i take this two ways; one, no one will understand why i believe supposedly “false” things about myself. two, as a christian, most people don’t understand god and why i believe in him and why i look to him and pray when i start to get an anxiety attack.

'i start to part two halves of my heart in the dark’

my heart shatters every time i get anxiety attack because i feel like i’ve failed myself. i hide in the dark, in my room, and live out my attack.

'i don’t know where i should go and the tears and the fears begin to multiply’

often times i don’t know where to turn when i get anxiety. i feel like i’m left to do this alone, and that saddens and terrifies me so much.

'taking time in a simple place, on my bed where my head rests on a pillowcase’

my bed used to be my safe place. i could curl up on my bed with a big, warm, fluffy blanket and a book and nice music. but now it’s where i lay awake and stare at the ceiling and i can’t sleep because i’m so lost in thought and i care about the future too much.

'it’s said that a war’s led but i forget that i let another day go by’

i feel as though there’s a war inside my body, day after day.

'i want to be afraid but it seems these days i’m caught underwater and i’m falling farther, my heart’s getting harder’

i keep distancing myself from others and drown in my thoughts. i try to distance myself to see if that way, i don’t have to worry so much.

'i’m calling my father, am i screaming to an empty sky?“

i pray and call out to god, but when my anxiety continues, i can’t help but wonder if he hears me…

'empty sky, no way, that’s me’

i curse myself for having even the slightest blasphemous thought. if anything, i’m the one that doesn’t hear.

'one half of my heart is free’ / 'the other half of my heart’s asleep’

half of my believes that, yes, god will heal me from this pain someday.

but the other half thinks that i’ll have this sickness for the rest of my life.

anxiety is my anathema and i hate it so much.

also, anathema is the only song that josh sings live.

josh has anxiety too, and he doesn’t sing because of it. as i’ve said multiple times before, josh is my role model. if this song means to much to him that he has the strength to sing it, then that makes me feel like he has at least similar feelings about the song as i do. he even came up with the title for the song.

One day, one rhyme- Day 1314

I stood apart from alł I knew
As snowflakes rained from high.
Society made her demands
And I didn’t comply.
I watched through windows thick with frost,
Fires burned on the inside,
Outside the two halves of me fought-
I let heart be my guide.
The quiet gave me time to think
While outside of the fold,
Then metaphor met real life and
I came in from the cold.

2

LWD & SKOP CHALLENGE » day 5 | Connor and Rose’s day

     Our lifetimes of combatting one another seemed to flip over like a spinning coin that fell to one side.
     His lips an inch from mine, he whispered something, not a quote. Not in French. Connor Cobalt murmured, “What’s inside this feeling that screams at me?” His eyes spoke of battles and wins and years positioned right across from me. “Devotion.” He neared. “Fealty.”
     His lips touched mine. Our very first kiss. My rigid body stayed erect, but I heated like a thousand burning stars. He deepened the kiss, in control so I wouldn’t have to think.
     I was thinking.
     I thought about how my mind sparked and blistered. I thought about how his hands commanded the moment as much as his lips. I thought about how he held me like I’d always been in his possession, as he’d always been in mine.

the functions as twenty one pilots lyrics (unhealthy edition)

Unhealthy Ti: My brain has given up/ White flags are hoisted/ I took some food for thought/ It might be poisoned

Unhealthy Ne: If it was our way, we’d have a tempo change every other time change/ Cause our minds change/ On what we think is good

Unhealthy Si: As time will fly by and the sky will cry as light is fading/ And he is waiting, oh so patiently/ While we repeat the same routine as we will please comfortably

Unhealthy Fe: A re-beginning moments mending memories/ Pretending enemies are frenemies, sending me straight to bending me

Unhealthy Fi: You are out of my mind/ You aren’t seeing my side / You waste all this time trying to get to me/ But you are out of my mind 

Unhealthy Se:  Quickly moving towards a storm/ Moving forward, torn/ Into pieces over reasons/ Of what these storms are for

Unhealthy Ni: I start to part two halves of my heart in the dark and I/ Don’t know where I should go/ And the tears and the fears begin to multiply

Unhealthy Te: Forget sanity, forget salary, forget vanity, my morality/
If you get in between someone I love and me/ You’re gonna feel the heat of my cavalry

I start to part two halves of my heart in the dark and I
Don’t know where I should go
And the tears and the fears begin to multiply
Taking time in a simple place
In my bed where my head rests on a pillowcase
And it’s said that a war’s led but I forget
That I let another day go by
I want to be afraid but it seems that these days
I’m caught under water and I’m falling farther
My heart’s getting harder, I’m calling my father
Am I screaming to an empty sky?
Empty sky, no way, that’s me cause one half of my heart is free
Empty sky, no way, that’s me cause the other half of my heart’s asleep

Sing a song but don’t believe
Blasphemy is just for me
Hypocrite, take your pick
Cause the poison’s on my lips

Can I understand you?
Can I understand you?
Can I understand you?
Can I understand you?

Lights, camera, action, satisfaction
At your finger tips no one’s lacking stuff
But it’s not enough when it seems that
We have enough stuff just to blow stuff up

Lights, camera, stop! We’re killing ourselves
Just to get to the top
But we won’t stop talking about what we got
And how we all love it when we’re loved a lot

Enough about you, let’s talk about me
And how everybody thinks I’m just so free
Free? Did you hear the verse that came first
And how my own body’s waging war on me?

I bet you didn’t know something as absurd
There’s a word that I’ve said more than any other word
It’s sorry, sorry
And I pray that our word was heard

Sing a song but don’t believe
Blasphemy is just for me
Hypocrite, take your pick
Cause the poison’s on my lips

Can I understand you?
Can I understand you?
Can I understand you?
Can I understand you?

I want to be alive
When you see my eyes
Can I see your eyes?
Can I see your eyes?

Can I see your eyes?
Can I see your eyes?
Can I see your eyes?
Can I see?
I want to be alive
When you see my eyes
Can I see your eyes?
Can I see your eyes?

Let the water wash away
Everything that you’ve become
On your knees, today is gone
And tomorrow’s sure to come
Tomorrow’s sure to come

Made with SoundCloud

anonymous asked:

who is your bias? just curious

My biases are VMon (Taehyung + Namjoon). The two halves of my heart~ And Kylie’s bias is Jimin! ♡ But of course we love them all, or else we wouldn’t be running an OT7 blog. ~(˘▾˘~)

Anonymous said: i absolutely love your blog! i can stare at bts’s faces all day lol~ and the pictures are so beautiful, i end up reblogging nearly all of them TvT thanks a bunch for your hard work!

Thanks so much for this message! We feel the same way and literally do stare at their faces all day because of this blog. ♥‿♥
- Kristi

i start to part two halves of my heart in the dark and i
don’t know wher ei should go when the tears and the fears begin to multiply
taking time in a simple place in my bed where my head rests on a pillowcase
and it’s said that a war’s lead but i forget that i let another day go by i want to be afraid but it seems these days im caught under water and im falling further my heart’s getting harder and i’m calling my father 
am i screaming to an empty sky
empty sky no way that’s me cause one half of my heart is free empty sky no way that’s me cause the other hanf of my heart’s asleep

and u will never know u will never understand so wont you say goodnight

Blasphemy
Tyler Joseph
Blasphemy

I start to part two halves of my heart in the dark and I
Don’t know where I should go
And the tears and the fears begin to multiply
Taking time in a simple place
In my bed where my head rests on a pillowcase
And it’s said that a war’s led but I forget
That I let another day go by
I want to be afraid but it seems that these days
I’m caught under water and I’m falling farther
My heart’s getting harder, I’m calling my father
Am I screaming to an empty sky?

  • randl: have a similarity
  • me: oh my god they were meant for each other they share a soul oh my god two hearts that beat as one oh my god can you believe oh my g
  • randl: have a difference
  • me: oh my god they complement each other so well they literally complete each other oh my god two halves of one heart oh my god can you believe oh my g
He changed the song and the first note had me gripping the side of my seat as butterflies hit the pit of my stomach. It was the song that I cried to when he left me. It tasted of heartbreak. And here I was, sitting opposite the reason my heart broke. And here I was listening to this song, heartbreak leaching back in like I hadn’t tasted enough already. He didn’t know of course, it was just a song to him and we were just two people, two friends who had once been two halves. He didn’t know that the very first note had my heart broken all over again. He couldn’t tell that my mind was screaming at me to leave before I fell to pieces. I knew I had to leave. I had to because I couldn’t risk falling to pieces. It took everything out of me to put myself back together and if I fell apart again, I don’t know that I’d be able to get up like I did before.
—  excerpts
2

He’s protective // theo

Everybody knew by know that theo wasn’t the nicest person in the world. When he is with you he’s a whole different person, nice but overprotective. It was Stiles that tested his patients. 

Next day….


Theo was sitting in the cafeteria waiting for you. He listened trying to find your heartbeat. He found it, your heart was beating fast. Soon theo got up and followed it. We head found you he saw scott’s pack crowding you.

 Then he heard stiles say “You and your evil boyfriend better leave or I’ll make him regret bringing you here”.

 That’s when a growl erupted theo throat.

 “What did you say”, theo growled.

 “Um… nothing”, stiles said panicky.

 “If I hear you say anything again, you’ll be nothing but bones”, theo said threatening.

 Stiles seemed to shrink with confidence. And mumbled a quick “Sorry ” and walked off. Theo suddenly wrapped his arms around you. 

“Theo, you shouldn’t have done that. You know you want them to like you” You said. 

“I know, but no one hurts the people, I love you ”, Theo said calmer then before. 

“You love me?” You ask shocked. 

“Of course I do, you make me sane. I would even rip my half of my heart out of my skin we could share two halves of one heart forever. ” You smiled at theo and grabbed his cheeks by surprise and kissed him with a passion.