two floors down

Stereotypical

Bucky Barnes x reader AU (short series) 

Notes: swearing, flirting, mentions of child abuse and alcoholism (past), none other yet

Summary: As a PA/secretary, you are all too familiar with the fantasies nearly all men share: banging their hot assistant. Former jobs haven’t worked out for you for that exact reason, and now starting out at a new company, as the secretary for the CEO of the hottest modelling agency in the country, you’re hoping this one will be different. But after meeting your new boss, Mr J.B. Barnes, you’re not so sure if it will be. Then again, maybe Mr Barnes is not as stereotypical as you think he is.   

A/N: Hi guys! This is a little something I’ve been working on lately. It’s only gonna be a few parts and I hope you enjoy it! 

“Whoa, hey there doll, what’s the rush?”

Quickly checking if you hadn’t dropped anything, to avoid any more embarrassment on the first day on your new job, you looked up at the man you’d just crashed (face-planted) into.

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noolss  asked:

okay al so imagine: Neil and Andrew have been on the same pro team for a while when their nutritionist enlists neils help to improve Andrews diet. the high ups enforce it. how would Neil convince Andrew to eat healthier?? he'll find a way, Andrews jobs depends on it (but like imagine how funny this could be) <3

what’s this? al answering a prompt that’s been in her inbox for seven months? YIKES

  • it starts when andrew opens the freezer one morning for breakfast
  • and there’s no ice cream
  • there’s a bag of peas and sweetcorn
  • there’s an empty ice tray
  • but there’s no ice cream
  • which is strange, because andrew remembers buying some the other day
  • and andrew never forgets
  • he goes back out to the lounge where neil is giving sir an intense stare while scratching behind his ears
  • which is a sure sign of guilt. neil is intense, but he says that the cats are the most calming influence in his life. which is sappy.
  • so andrew stands there and waits for neil to meet his eyes
  • (generally andrew’s found that if he exists for long enough in neil’s presence, he starts talking)
  • (sometimes even when andrew isn’t there neil will start talking)
  • maybe if neil doesn’t respond, andrew’s death glare will develop true murderous powers. that would be a win-win, as far as andrew is concerned.

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Sabine and her family

So @teammarinette was telling me this headcanon he has about Sabine and typed this and asked me to post it. He is Chinese too so it really gives an interesting insight. Personally, I really find this headcanon fitting and well thought. What do you guys think? Any opinions?


So you know how the Kung Food episode starts off with Marinette trying to translate stuff into Chinese so she can greet her uncle and then trying to memorise and pronounce those sentences. She then talks to Tikki about how she’s worried about her uncle visiting her house, and when he does arrive Marinette opens door, forgets everything, and ends up making a fool of herself. Her uncle ignores her and proceeds to purge her flowers, and then she ends up sitting on the sofa across from her uncle while she’s not speaking and trying to pretend her uncle isn’t there but her uncle doesn’t really care and happily proceeds to finish demolishing her flowers.

It’s a very short scene, really; less than two minutes of screen time but already this is a lot of content that we’re shown and a massive amount of stuff to work on.

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The Accident Part 7

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5  Part 6   Part 7 (Final)

Fandom: Riverdale

Ship: Jughead x Reader

Characters: Jughead, Betty, Veronica

Warnings: Mild panic attack; mentions of the car accident; major fluff

Side note - there’s been a real Shakespeare theme with these lately and I’m blaming it on the fact that I’m a total Shakespeare nerd #sorrynotsorry

Thank you so much to everyone who has like, reblogged, or responded to my story. Without y’all, I don’t have too much motivation to write. My inbox is empty right now so feel free to drop in as many requests as your heart desires! I need substance to write, and I must appease my peoples :)

—-

He murmured, “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight, for I never saw true beauty till this night,” quoting the very play we were watching. The line caused you to blush, knowing what it mean. You couldn’t tell if he meant to say it out loud or think it, but he didn’t seem to notice, and this was just one more thing you found to love about Jughead Jones.

It had been a week since you had shared your first kiss with Jughead. Since then, you two were practically inseparable. Your dad let Jughead stay in the guest bedroom most nights because he suspected something about his home situation. You had seen Archie around school and at lunch, but he made no efforts to talk to you. In the afternoons, you spent time with either Betty and Veronica talking about the hardships and trials of love, or at Pop’s with Jug. Today happened to be a day with B and V before some jock’s party started - you refused to go, but even so the two girls convinced you to help them get ready. 

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Guardian Angel Bonus #4

olicity || ao3 || gen || fluff || 6748 || more fics

summary: Oliver finds a half asleep Felicity in an elevator with a newborn // Oliver has to take care of a sick Dani in quarantine to keep a pregnant Felicity away from germs and illness.
word count: 1492
a/n: not a prompt… i’ve just been thinking about this idea for awhile and [shrugs] my brain can be fluffy sometimes I swear. (actually y’all wouldn’t believe what’s happening in the chapter of trust me i’m working on) but anyway…


[Part One] [bonus #1] [bonus #2] [bonus #3]

“Itchy,” Danica whined.

“I know, baby,” he said quietly as he rubbed her back.

He wanted to smack whatever parent allowed their sick child to run around an indoor playground, touching and infecting every piece of plastic in the place. The entire place had to be shut down and sanitized to the fullest extent because of an outbreak of chickenpox. He was just happy that Felicity hadn’t been there with them. She’d never had chickenpox and neither of them wanted to find out what would happen if she got them while pregnant.

So, here he was, in the apartment with Danica while his wife stayed with his mother-in-law until the little one was better. He was trying hard not to be mad, but it was difficult when his baby girl was suffering.

She coughed and nuzzled into his chest, “It’s okay,” he kissed the top of her head, “You know, daddy got chickenpox when he was little too.”

Danica tilted her head up to look at him, waiting for him to continue.

“My best friend caught them and then he came over to my house. He got his gross germs all over me and my sister,” he crinkled up his nose, making her giggle, “I was covered in itchy red spots just like you, but back then my mom put me and Thea into an oatmeal bath.”

“Oatmeal?” the three year old made a face.

“I know you hate eating it, but you don’t have to eat it just sit in it.”

“Ew,” she whined.

“It’ll make the itchy stop.”

She let out the most dramatic sigh, “Okay.”

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anonymous asked:

Can i please get an imagine where the reader had a really shitty day at work and comes home totally drained,but then Kara runs up and koala hugs her and peppers kisses all over her face and reader is suddenly 100% and is like "how?¿?"

It started when you’d spilled coffee on yourself at Noonans. Everyone minded their own business, sharing glances with you across the cafe, some concerned and some amused. You’d huffed, taken a handful of napkins, and stormed out.

When you got to work your desk was piled with paperwork and folders that you would’ve made note of and even taken home last night, had it been there that is. The impending paper tower of doom only grew larger  throughout the day. You weren’t even able to take your usual break since you had to use it picking up the papers that had fallen as coworkers passed by. Not to mention that Karen from two floors down had stolen your lunch, again.

You’d managed to get the tower down to half its size by the end of the day, you were still determined to either take it home and finish it or work overtime until it was done. You weren’t even sure you had enough folders or room in your briefcase to store all of it. 

Your boss made you lock up the office, by the time you get to your and Kara’s apartment you’re still feeling weird in your skin due to the creepy night janitor eyeing you over on your way out. Kara could tell something was wrong by the time you’d texted her in between bandaging paper cuts this afternoon, her texts were void of their usual heart emojis. You weren’t surprised when she’d flung open the apartment door and tugged you inside.

She’s suddenly peppering your face with kisses, not that you mind, and throwing her arms around you.

“Uh hey to you too,” you choke out. She releases you immediately, apologizing for hugging you so hard. “It’s okay,” you sigh, putting down your work things and wrapping your arms around her waist.

“Long day?” she asks, nuzzling into your neck. 

“Yeah.”

“I’d figured as much.”

“How’d you know?” you question as she pulls you on to the couch, onto her lap.

“Your shoulders were tense when you came in, and you came home with your briefcase, you never come home with your briefcase unless your boss gives you too much paperwork.” 

You smile, grateful and amused you have such an observant and caring girlfriend.

“You’re right.”

“I usually am, nerd.”

The Contest-Part 4

To celebrate Supernatural’s 15th season, the producers have decided to hold a contest to cast an unknown in a recurring role as Sam’s rumored love interest. They are doing open casting calls all over the country. Your best friend Nikki wants to go and she drags you along.

Characters: Reader, Best friend Nikki (OC), Nursing Supervisor Anne, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, other Supernatural cast and crew

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing about Jared and Jensen and the show.  Please be gentle as I am a delicate flower LOL.  For the purposes of this story, Jared and Misha are both divorced.  No hate please! I’m sure Gen and Vicki are lovely!

Part 1 (All parts are linked)

My plane left early the next morning, because I started my 3 twelve hour shifts on Sunday. I had hardly slept as I spent the night weighing the pros and cons of taking the job. Nikki knew the decision was being made on Friday, and she had called and texted so many times I had lost count. I just didn’t have the energy to deal with her right now, so I hadn’t responded.

When my text alert went off while I was on the plane I expected to see Nikki’s number again.  I was surprised to see a number I didn’t recognize.

Please take the job Y/N.

Who is this? How did you get my number?

It’s Jared. I got your number from Simon.

Seriously, Jared? Why are you even up so early? What time is it there?

The kids are visiting me. Yeah, it’s really early.

How old are they?

3,5 and 7

Wow, your lucky they let you sleep at all

They live with their Mom in Texas, but I see them whenever I can.

How long have you been divorced?

2 years

Crap, I have to go. Seriously, Y/N. Take the job. You’ll make an amazing Gemini.

You’ll be the first to know Soulmate, I promise! ;)

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Joker Imagine - a henchman harrasses you

Anonymous said:Hey love ! Could you do a story where the reader is left alone with daddy j’s henchmen and over time one specific one harasses her behind daddy j’s back and he tells her she’s too weak for him stuff like that ,makes her cry etc.. and when he finds out through another henchmen he goes ballistic and tortures the fuck out of him and then daddy j gets all sweet and stuff, love your writing !!!!😘😘😘💘


Originally posted by jokers-x-story-x-teller


Your P.O.V.

‘’Take care of her’’ J told his men as he got ready to go. He was going on a heist that I was supposed to go to as well, but I got sick so I had to stay at home with some of his henchmen. ‘’And don’t do anything stupid doll’’ He told me and kissed my head. ‘’I won’t’’ I chuckled and then sniffled. I had a running nose. ‘’I know..Just watch out’’ He said strangely. Then he had to go. I wished him luck and watched as my green haired criminal boyfriend went out to break some more laws. 

‘’So what do you guys do around here?’’ I turned around to face the henchmen that stayed here. They weren’t very social with me, but  I could probably get them talking. They were all bigger and stronger than me, but I trusted them. ‘’Well I could show you around’’ One of them spoke up and walked up to me. The guy had huge muscles, loads of tattoos, blonde hair in a quiff and a few scars. He was wearing a black tank top, jeans, sunglasses and his gun belt. ‘’Sounds fine’’ I smiled and then sniffled again. The other henchmen looked at each other strangely, but remained quiet. 

He led me to the elevator and I followed him kindly. I was sick so I couldn’t even go and practise shooting. So he was my company until J would come back home. ‘’Where are we going?’’ I asked him as he pressed a button that I didn’t see. ‘’I’ll show you the storage floor’’ He told me with a deep voice. I nodded and just stood still as the elevator went down.

The elevator doors opened again and I saw a long hall with loads of doors. I couldn’t even remember being here because I was mostly in the penthouse. The henchman walked further inside and I followed right next to him. A few henchmen were here as well, who knows why. Suddenly he opened a door to a room. That’s when I felt weird. Why would he take me to such an isolated place? Stupidly I walked into the room with him. It was empty. 

‘’Now that we’re alone I can get honest’’ He started and made me nervous. So he wasn’t going to show me around after all. ‘’What do you mean?’’ I questioned this man and glanced at the door. It was shut. ‘’You’re so weak holy fuck. Seriously I don’t understand what boss sees in you’’ He started and seemed to be angry. My heart started hammering in my chest and I stared at him in shock. ‘’You shouldn’t be together’’ He chuckled and walked towards me. ‘’H-Hey..Let’s not talk about me and J okay?’’ I tried to smile, but it hurt. Then I back off until I was between him and a wall. He made me feel very uncomfortable.

‘’I bet he’s with you just for the pussy’’ He laughed and suddenly touched my body. ‘’Let me go’’ I groaned and slapped his hand away from me. Suddenly he grabbed my throat harshly and kept me against the wall so hard I couldn’t breathe. I tried to rip his hands off of me, but he was stronger. ‘’Be a good girl for me..Don’t do that again’’ He whispered in front of my face and I could feel his hot breath. It made me sick in my stomach.

 Suddenly his grip loosened a little and I gasped for air. Tears stung my eyes and I knew I was trapped. ‘’Oh..You’re not to tough then boss isn’t around’’ He fake pouted and then started laughing. Tears ran down my face silently and I felt like I was shrinking. He made me really scared, especially because he was so strong and I was sick. I didn’t even have my gun with me to protect myself.

Suddenly his other hand cupped my left boob and my eyes widened. ‘’Please stop..’’ I begged as my breath hitched in my throat. His other hand was still around my neck and it made breathing harder. ‘’I won’t stop until I want to you whore’’ He spat, making more tears gush down my face. My body was trembling from fear and I just wanted to find J. Then to make things worse, he pressed his dirty lips against mine. I screamed and tried to pull my face back, but he just choked me so I stopped wiggling. His other hand was squeezing my boobs harshly and I felt so fucking humiliated. He was trying to make out with me as I was trying not to throw up on him.

‘’If you tell J, I’ll kill you..’’He threatened me angrily. Then he looked at me seriously. I just nodded, being too scared to fight him. ‘’Is that clear?’’ He growled and then squeezed my jaw so it hurt. ‘’Yes’’ I whimpered and swallowed my tears. I felt so disgusting right now. ‘’Good you damn ugly bitch’’ He spat again and then yanked my hair. I winced in pain as he pushed me against the wall so he was behind me. His hand slapped my ass and I groaned in pain. ‘’Stop it!’’ I screamed again, but only angered him. ‘’Shut the fuck up’’ He hissed angrily. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath. 

‘’I’d teach you a lesson, but I don’t want you to get a kid running around. Tomorrow come to me with protection’’ He said with a low voice. My heart skipped a beat and I started trembling again. I would not do that. I just couldn’t, but for now I just nodded because I was too scared to disobey. ‘’Now fuck off’’ He growled and pushed me towards the door. I opened it quickly and left the floor. I literally ran into the elevator and pressed the button to go to the penthouse. As the elevator doors shut, I slid down the walls and sat down. Tears started gushing down my face wildly and I was sobbing loudly.

I couldn’t believe what just happened.

The elevator doors opened before I reached the penthouse and two henchmen walked in. As they saw me, they seemed worried. They knew that if I got hurt, someone would die. ‘’What’s wrong?’’ One of them, Jimmy asked me. I shook my head because I was unable to speak. Then I stood up and looked down so they couldn’t see my ugly crying face. ‘’Was it Mark? The one who showed you around?’’ The other henchman asked me. ‘’It’s nothing’’ I whimpered and then focused on my trembling hands.

The elevator went up and I was by the penthouse. I walked out of the elevator, past some guards and inside my home. I kicked off my shoes and hurried to the bathroom. I felt so dirty that I just had to shower. As I got undressed, I started crying loudly again. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Go to him tomorrow? Tell J? Die?

**

*POV CHANGE Joker’s P.O.V.*

The heist went just as planned. I was so happy about it and I couldn’t wait to tell everything to Y/N. I got home and noticed that my henchmen had been acting weird, but no one said anything. ‘’Y/N?’’ I called out for her as I stepped inside the penthouse. Her shoes were on the floor, not neatly as usually. That was weird. That’s when I heard crying. I walked closer to the sound until I found her in the shower of our master bathroom. I shut the bathroom door as I stepped in. She was sitting on the shower floor, letting the warm water hit her back.

‘’What happened?’’ I asked her and took off my shirt. ‘’Nothing’’ She lied, obviously hurt by something. I sighed and got completely undressed. Then I joined her in the shower, helping her up. She wrapped her arms around me. Her body was trembling even tho the water was hot. ‘’Tell me what’s wrong’’ I cooed and hugged her back. 

‘’I can’t..It’s nothing’’ She mumbled and sighed. I didn’t want to push her, so I just let it be for now. Maybe my henchmen knew since they were all acting so weird earlier. Whatever it was, I’d find it out someway. 


                   Y/N fell asleep after the shower and I put the blanket on her body. She was in our bed so I thought it was safe to leave her for a little while. I got two floors down where most of my henchmen always were, either in the main big office or their own offices. As I walked in, I got glanced at strangely. ‘’Now does anyone want to tell me why my girl was scared to death when I came home?’’ I broke the silence and played with my gun. Frost appeared out of nowhere and walked up to me. ‘’Jimmy and Poison wants to talk to you about it’’ Frost admitted with a quiet voice. I gave him a strange look, but let him lead me to two other henchmen.

They were in an office drinking coffee as I got there. As soon as they saw me, they stood up. ‘’What’s going on?’’ I growled deeply and looked at each of them. ‘’Mark had talked about hurting Y/N lately and bad shit about her..Just as you left he took her down to the storage floor’’ Jimmy started and then looked at Poison, an intelligent killer. ‘’I saw him take her to a room. I heard screaming, but the door was locked from the outside. Then she stormed off crying. Then Mark came up later and bragged about what he had done’’ Poison let me know. I felt like a vein would pop in my head from anger.

Oh how I would fucking torture that asshole for hurting my lady. ‘’Where is he?’’ He growled and started to breathe heavily. No one would hurt Y/N and get away with it. ‘’In his office’’ Frost informed me. I stormed off and left them behind. Mark’s office wasn’t far away. I ripped the door open and pointed at him with my gun. He was sitting by his desk, doing some paperwork or something. ‘’You know..birds have been singing anf they sang something like ‘Mark is screwed Mark is screwed for hurting Joker’s girlfriend’’ I growled in a mocking tone. His eyes widened and he stared at my gun, turning pale as time passed.

‘’That’s not t-true’’ He stuttered and raised his arms.’’Liar’’ I hissed and then pushed him against the wall. I looked deep into his eyes and nearly saw his beating heart. He was terrified. ‘’You really fucked up man’’ I let him know and then hit his neck with my gun. He groaned out in pain and fell down on his knees. ‘’Frosty would you do me a favour and take this pig to the torture room?’’ I called out for Frost who came here asap. ‘’Yes boss’’

                             An hour passed rather slowly. Mark was tied to a chair in the torture room and he was barely alive anymore. What I had done to him wasn’t for sensitive people. Even so called strong people would get the chills and gag if they would hear details. Let’s just say that Mark didn’t look like himself anymore.He was bleeding from random places and I had carved things on his body. Long story short, he was 100% regretting what he had done.

‘’I think that the dogs would love to finish you off’’ I laughed at him. There was a small ray of life in his eyes left. He was trembling and breathing heavily. Frost walked in two beautiful dogs, my German Shepherds. ‘’Finish him’’ I told the dogs who attacked mark. One last shout escaped his mouth before he fell silent. I walked out of the room, smiling because I knew he was dead. 

I got back to the penthouse and headed straight to Y/N. She was in bed, but she wasn’t sleeping. She was crying again. ‘’It’s okay..’’ I broke the silence and joined her in bed. I threw off my bloody shirt and then wrapped my arms around her. ‘’No it’s not J’’ She sobbed , obviously scared. So she didn’t know yet. ‘’Y/N ..’’ I said her name and looked deep into her pretty eyes.

‘’I killed him. He can’t hurt you anymore’’ I let her know. Her tears stopped and her lips parted. She seemed shocked. ‘’How did you even know?’’ She breathed out and then sniffled, probably because she had cried so much and because she was sick. ‘’The other henchmen let me know. You don’t have to worry. He’s gone’’ I reminded her while tracing my fingers on her cheek. There were bruises on her neck that I didn’t notice earlier. Damn I was glad I killed Mark.

‘’Thank you so much’’ She whispered and nuzzled into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her body and sighed deeply. ‘’You must be crazy if you thought I wouldn’t kill him. I’ll protect you no matter what Y/N. You’re the only person I truly care about so I’ll treat you like it. Next time someone dares to hurt you, tell me immediately, okay?’’ I tried to make a deal with her. ‘’Okay Puddin’’ She  answered me quietly, making me feel happy.

‘’That’s my girl’’


//Sorry for typos, I’m too lazy to go through it now :)

enchantingdefendorperson  asked:

I was thinking about Vampire Nursey. He's hot, but doesn't really know it. So he doesn't get why Dex is like "idk why someone like you would date someone like me". Maybe he doesn't think different monster types can date? Maybe he wants to break up?

I wrote this half asleep and kind of sick so there are 50000 errors and it might not even make sense. I think I committed the cardinal sin of switching tenses. Also the prompt completely got away from me here, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry. 

For the Monster Haus AU. Featuring Vampire Nursey and Dullahan Dex. 


“I don’t know why someone like you would want to date someone like me.”

Dex wasn’t an open person. Honest, maybe, but not open. Even after a month of whispered confessions and late nights of slipping into each other’s rooms, Dex was withholding on his thoughts on the matter. Not that Nursey was much better, but he certainly wasn’t going to go first in their game of emotional chicken. 

Dex, it seemed had elected to be the first to give, though Nursey suspected it had more to do with the Elven wine pumping through his veins than any personal decision to do so. Nursey hadn’t been much more careful with his intake, so he took a minute to wade through the alcohol in his head to decipher what Dex had said. 

Nursey had no heat in his body, not without someone else’s blood moving through him, but even now he could still feel the warm aftermath of Dex’s skin on his, the tingling singe of that magical fire still hot against his bare chest. Dex lay beside him, and perhaps his statement was more addressed to the dark ceiling than to Nursey. In the silence of the dorm room Nursey could just hear the neighbors next door chatting quietly, could hear the base of a beat playing over speakers two floors down, but mostly he could hear the fire in Dex, crackling in his chest as it swirled around itself and threatened to engulf them both. 

Nursey might not have needed to breath, but Dex was still panting against the sheets. When Nursey glanced over, he saw his eyes were closed, and only thing betraying that he was not actually asleep were his fingers, twisted tight in the fabric of the sheets between them.

Nursey had always thought they would have some kind of actual conversation about what was going on between them after sex one night. Being naked kind of all ready gave you that feeling of laying everything bare, so why not? He just hadn’t expected Dex to go first.

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Joker Imagine - ‘Just Kill Me!’ PART 2

Part 1 here


Originally posted by suicidesquadsource

Originally posted by relationshipaims

WARNING: Smut

Your P.O.V.

The next day I woke up alone in our bed. The other side of the bed was still a little warm so I knew J hadn’t been up for long. I yawned and sat up, but stopped in my tracks as I felt a paint in my ribs. ‘’Ouch’’ I mumbled, knowing immediately that a bone must have been broken. I got out of bed and made the bed before getting dressed. I was wearing a silky nightgown and that’s all. I fluffed the pillows and then made sure everything was neat.

I got in the bathroom and washed my face. As I started to brush my teeth and put on make-up, I thought about yesterday. What a horrible day. J promised to not hurt me again and I really wished with all my heart that he wouldn’t. I was terrified.After a long bath and being kissed all over, he ordered some pizza for us. The rest of the day was ok.

Fifteen minutes later I was done with my makeup and I changed my clothes.  J was probably two floors down with his henchmen, planning the next mission. I was still not sure whether I could come or not. But based on his anger yesterday, I doubted it and I wouldn’t even ask.

Another ten minutes later I was dressed in red underwear, black jeans and a blue button up shirt of his. His shirts were comfier than mine , at least at home. I walked out of our penthouse and got into the elevator. As I saw myself in the mirror, I realized that the bruise on my jaw was still visible from under the foundation. ‘’Oh well..’’ I sighed just as the doors slid open. His henchmen were around computers and some of the offices were taken. I walked further inside and tried to find my J.

Instead of finding Joker, I saw Frost by a group of henchmen. I felt like I had to apologize to him sooner or later, even tho I couldn’t remember quite what I did wrong. Just then I heard J’s angry voice. I followed it and stayed behind a corner where I saw him in front of about 10 of his men. 

‘’If I see that one of you do that again, I will put a bullet through your fucking head!’’ He snarled angrily at them. My heart started to beat harder in my chest even tho he wasn’t yelling at me. The henchmen nodded and some said ‘yes sir’ or ‘yes boss’ in fear. Everyone feared Mr.J. Even Batsy even tho he tried not to show it.

‘’Oh and one more thing’’ J suddenly remembered and walked towards the corner where I was. I literally held my breath so he wouldn’t notice me. I watched as he got in front of a dark haired guy. J smiled evilly and I recognized that smile. It was a smile you didn’t want to see, because nothing good ever followed afterwards. ‘’I know how you looked at my girlfriend yesterday during mission’’ J told him, making a shiver run down my spine.

‘’Boss I-I didn’t..’’ He defended himself with a stuttering voice. ‘’Oh’’ J fake pouted and grabbed his gun from his silver jacket. I watched as he pressed it against the man’s abdomen. ‘’You tried to distract her didn’t ya? It’s you who wanted her to fail..’’ He growled deeply, raising the gun up until he was pointing at his head. ‘’No boss, I didn’t’’ The guy gulped, but even I could hear it was a lie.

‘’Oh such a shame..’’ J sighed and pulled the trigger. I had never startled from a gun before, but suddenly my heart jumped to my throat and a flashback of him hitting me flashed before my eyes. I saw the guy fall dead on the ground and blood pooling on the hardwood floor.

‘’To the others, don’t ever mess with Y/N’’ J warned them,but I was too shocked to focus. I could literally see him hitting me again and again and again. Before he could find me, I hurried back to the elevator. I pressed the button to get on the 30th floor which was our penthouse. Just as I thought the doors would shut, J stepped in. ‘’Oh you’re awake’’He noticed and smiled.

‘’Yeah, I was..looking for you’’ I said nervously, ignoring the fact that I had seen him kill the guy and that I had a flashback. ‘’You found me’’ He chirped and then the elevator shut and went up. ‘’Y-yeah..’’ I mumbled quietly.Fuck it, I was a bad liar sometimes. But J didn’t question me. I saw that he raised his arm and it caused me to flinch. I raised my arms in front of my face and shut my eyes tightly. My muscles grew tense and my breath hitched in my throat as I waited for a hit.

‘’Sorry! Sorry..I didn’t mean to lie!’’ I whimpered and my knees started trembling. ‘’Y/N..’’ J said my name sadly. I gritted my teeth nervously and peeked at him between my arms. He looked sad, not angry or shocked, just really sad. ‘’I wasn’t going to hit you’’ He told me with a broken voice. Oops. I lowered my arms and then bit the inside of my cheek. The elevator doors opened, but he didn’t walk out. ‘’Did you think that babe?’’ He whispered and slowly moved his hand on my shoulder.

A blush spread on my face from embarrassment. ‘’Sorry J’’ I apologized and felt uncomfortable. Why would I do that? ‘’Don’t be..’’ He sighed and then walked into our penthouse. I followed him and stayed quiet. Just as he shut the front door, he spoke again. ‘’What were you saying in the elevator?’’ He asked me and walked to the kitchen. I followed him a little nervously. Would he be mad again? I guess I just had to find out.

‘’I saw that you shot him..’’I admitted and then played with the hem of the shirt I was wearing. J faced me quietly and it made my heart beat harder and I hated it. I hated to be scared of him. ‘’Good. At least I don’t have to tell it to you’’ He said rather calmly which surprised me. ‘’Are you sure you’re ok with it?’’ I looked up to him in surprise. 

His red lips curved into a sweet smile. ‘’Yes doll’’ He purred and suddenly I felt his hands on my hips. ‘’Relax babe’’ He told me, probably noticing that my soul nearly jumped out of my body whenever he moved. ‘’I’m trying’’ I admitted shyly and looked away. Usually I was carefree and hyper around J. He probably hated me like this which made me feel more of a bother.

‘’Let me make you feel good..’’ He whispered into my ear and suddenly pressed his crotch against mine. My eyes widened and I was sure I was blushing. ‘’Okay babe?’’ He asked me and rubbed my back. Holy shit he was hot when he spoke like that. I nodded and let him lift me onto the kitchen island so I was sitting on it. I wrapped my legs around him and then kissed his red lips. J kissed me warmly and was quick to push his tongue into my mouth. I could kiss him until I’d choke because these moments were somehow rare but so amazing.

J touched my body softly and started to unbutton the shirt while his lips were devouring mine.His warm kiss made me relax and melt onto him. ‘’You have the sweetest lips doll’’ He let me know and then threw the blue shirt on the kitchen floor. Then he unbuttoned my pants and dragged them off. ‘’Eager much?’’ I smiled and looked into his darkened eyes. ‘’I’m hungry’’ He told me raspily and I swear it was the hottest thing. I nearly came at the sight of him being horny.

His fingers hooked around my red panties and he pulled them off. I kicked them on the kitchen floor and then laid down on the kitchen island. J sat down on a stool and wrapped his arms around my legs. ‘’You’re so wet doll’’ He let me know raspily and then kissed my thigh. ‘’Don’t tease’’ I begged, really eager to feel his mouth do the magic on me.

Suddenly J pressed his warm mouth on my wet pussy and licked up from my slit so he could taste me. My eyes rolled to the back of my head from the pleasure I hadn’t felt in a few weeks now. Foreplay had stayed aside lately which was kinda sad. ‘’So good’’ He purred and pressed his tongue on my clit. It felt so good.

‘’Yes J..’’ I moaned as he started to eat me out real good. He pushed his face closer to me and gently nibbled on my sensitive nub. I moved my hands to his hair which I usually wasn’t allowed to do. The only time I could mess with his green hair was when he was between my legs. J pushed his long tongue inside of me, spreading my soft walls a little bit. Then he started to push his tongue in and out of me, making pleasure build up in me.

‘’Fuck yeah’’ I purred happily and bucked my hips against his face while pushing him closer by his hair. I was so fucking sensitive so it felt ten times better. Each time he did a little rougher move, I bucked my hips and moaned louder. After a while he pulled back and I looked down at him. His face was glistening because of my arousal. He was smiling and looking at me darkly because he was so lustful. 

‘’Boss are you here?’’ Someone yelled from behind the door. ‘’Yes and I’m busy’’ He shouted back and suddenly pushed two fingers inside of me, making me gasp in surprise. I had to cover my mouth with my hand so the man behind the door couldn’t hear me. ‘’How long?’’ He asked J. Joker started to fingerfuck me roughly, pushing his fingers deep inside of me each time. I could hear my wetness as he fingered me. It felt so good that it was nearly impossible to shut up.

‘’Twenty minutes or something’’ J informed the guy and came closer to me. As he fingered me with his long fingers, he pressed his warm mouth on my throbbing clit. That’s it. A loud moan escaped my mouth and I felt like heaven. I knew the man had heard us, but I didn’t care anymore. An orgasm was building up inside of me and J pushed me closer each time he touched my G-spot.

‘’Fuck J!’’ I moaned loudly and wanted more. He licked and sucked on my clit and then pushed a third finger inside of my tightness. First it hurt a tiny bit, but pleasure took over quickly. He used his other arm to keep my hips down so I couldn’t squirm if it got a little too much. ‘’Come for me baby’’ He encouraged me and then looked up to me while eating me and fingering me.

I held my breath and then let go. A powerful orgasm hit my like a brick wall and I yelled out his name in pure pleasure. My walls tightened around his fingers ,yet he didn’t stop. ‘’J!’’ I whimpered and tried to wiggle away because I was so sensitive. Every little touch made me jump, but he kept me down. ‘’Relax’’ He told me darkly and continued licking my clit. I couldn’t even breathe properly.

‘’Fuck fuck fuck’’ I grunted and tried to handle the pleasure that was overwhelming me. My vision got a little blurry, but I managed it. Since he never stopped, it didn’t take long for a second orgasm to come closer. ‘’J..Oh..fuck’’ I whimpered and tugged his hair. My other orgasm came out of the blue, numbing all my other senses but the ability to feel. As the pleasure rolled on my body, my legs started to shake and my head fell back in pure pleasure.

I swear I could see stars.

J pulled out his fingers and I felt something wet. He started licking my pussy hungrily, making me whimper because I was still sensitive. This really drained my energy a little bit. ‘’You taste delicious’’ He let me know while finishing me up. My body was taken over by the pleasure and sensitivity of two mind blowing orgasms. J noticed and stood up. ‘’Aw baby..do you feel good?’’ He asked me and helped me to sit. I squeezed my legs together and leaned against his chest while catching my breath.

‘’Mhhmm’’ I tried to mumble a yes. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me. ‘’You squirted babe’’ He whispered proudly while holding me. A blush spread on my face, but I didn’t really mind. He did it to me. ‘’The others heard us’’ I reminded him. ‘’So what? At least they know that you’re mine doll’’ 

Quiet as a Mouse - Part 2 (Final)

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 2,398

Summary: Jensen and his girlfriend are on a break so he’s in a bad mood. His sister drags him out shopping where he meets the reader. She ends up being someone Jensen doesn’t expect.

Part 1


“What are you looking at?” Jensen says to Mackenzie.

“You’ve been a moody bitch all day…and now you’re smiling like the biggest dope in the world.”

“Am not!”

“Am too! I’m looking at your face!”

“Whatever.” Jensen says chuckling.

“You’re welcome by the way.” Mackenzie says.

“For what?”

“For sending you into Y/N’s store!”

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Ivonne’s 12 Days of Deadpool, #6

Spideypool x Reader,  smut ya’ll. 

You are left alone at your company's Christmas party. Where are those two idiots?

#1, #2 , #3 , #4 , #5 , #6 , #7 , #8 , #9 . #10 , #11, #12, #13

Mariah Carey singing ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ blasted throughout the conference room, as you sipped cheap wine in the corner. This was suppose to be a fun night with Wade and Peter, they both were happy to come to your company’s Christmas party; especially with an open bar. But at the last minute, Peter had some Spidey duties to uphold and Wade opted to tag along to help get the job done quicker, leaving you all alone. Not that you hated your co-workers, they were all pretty nice. It’s just that you were looking forward to getting piss drunk with your boys and possibly making complete fools out of yourselves.

Sighing, you pouted in the corner, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. Everyone was socializing and taking advantage of the open bar, so you strolled over to it and ordered another whiskey sour.

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Dream-like Christmas time

Merry Christmas @percy-the-sorcerer ! It’s me! Your secret santa from the @pjosecretsanta2016 I hope you like your present Alex! My best wishes for you this beautiful day! I also totally recomend you to listen to TTS- Dear Santa korean version, the title of the fic is inspired by the song!

Inspired but the prompt: Character A’s little sibling/child wants to meet their favorite celebrity/writer/person for Christmas. Character B is said “Christmas present”. Huge shout out to @quietlykeen @lesbabeths @bananannabeth for helping me with my horrible grammar! They are the real heroes here.


Piper was still reading the letter, which made sense considering the fact that a six year old wrote it and it was hard to understand what it said. But she had been reading it for what it felt like forever to Percy, and he really needed her to talk to him.

“On the bright side, you do know her.” Piper finally said. “Or well, used to.”

Mia, Percy’s little sister, had asked Santa for Annabeth Chase, from the group Stardust, to have tea time with her on Christmas Eve. And it nearly gave Percy a heart attack. Stardust was the most popular girl group in the world, and Annabeth Chase wasn’t only the main vocalist of the group, but she was also his ex-best friend. The same ex-friend he hadn’t seen in almost 6 years, not since she stole his first kiss.

“She probably doesn’t care about me anymore.” Percy said. “And it’s not like I can call her and be like ‘Hey Annabeth! It’s me, Percy! I know we haven’t talked in years but I have a baby sister now and her dream is to met you! I know it’s Christmas Eve but I hope you can swing by. My mom lives in the same apartment, okay bye!’”

Piper shrugged. “You kind of can do that.”

He threw his pillow at her. “I don’t have her number anymore.”

“No, but your mom might have her old address saved in her address book.” Piper patted his shoulder. “You said she used to live in California, right? It would make sense for your mom to have her address, or well I guess by now it’s her dad’s address only, if you guys used to exchange letter.”

“It doesn’t matter, he probably moved out.”

“Or maybe he hasn’t. Perce you have the opportunity to make your sister’s dream come true. And not only that, you have the opportunity to reconnect with someone who means the world to you.”

Percy sighed and sat indian style on his bed.

Piper didn’t know much about his relationship with Annabeth— Percy didn’t want people knowing he used to be best friends with a celebrity —but during college Piper had become his best friend. She had found his pictures with Annabeth, the ones he used to have at his mom’s place, so he told her the basics: they met at a summer camp when they were seven years old, and were best friends by the end of the summer. They only saw each other during the summer but during the rest of the year they wrote letters to each other all the time. When they were ten years old,  her family moved to Boston and sometimes they got to visit each other for the weekend, but the letters didn’t stop until they were fifteen when her family moved to California. At that point, cellphones and emails started to become a thing, they didn’t feel they needed to exchange letters anymore. Annabeth went to camp for one more year before winning the most famous singing competition America had, and then he never saw her again.

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Accidentally On Purpose Falling For You

Accidentally on Purpose Falling For You | After being set up on a blind date neither boy was prepared for, Dan and Phil come up with a plan to get back at their friends; Pretend to date, and then have the ugliest break up imaginable. The problem? They hadn’t expected to fall for each other. | Phan | Mature | Co-Written With @theinsanityplays | 11,409 Words

This part: 6,855 Words

Read Part One Here

Disclaimer: In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

A/N: eek it’s finally here! Thank you to everyone who read part one, and I hope you enjoy part two just as much! As always a special thanks to katthequeen520 she is honestly is the best beta a girl could ask for. And of course, my co-author insanityplaysfics because odiously none of this would have been possible without her. 

God, Phil. That was so dumb! What were you thinking! Phil berated himself, the moment he’d turned the corner. His heart was racing in his chest, and all he could think about was the way his lips had tingled the moment they’d touched Dan’s cheek.

Honestly, he couldn’t think of a stupider thing he could have done. They’d been doing so well, and Dan had obviously been enjoying his company, but this wasn’t real.

None of this was real. This was just a ploy to get back at their friends, and it didn’t matter how sweet it was that Dan had payed enough attention to Phil that he could order for him. Dan had to pay attention to Phil, if they wanted to convince their friends.

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Baby Face || Peter Parker

Prompt - Y/N has powers and Peter finds out and he gets all excited and nervous and keeps asking questions about them, they go back to his place to hang and stuff, then it gets kind of steamy. 

Word Count -  

Warning - it gets a little smutty at the end but that’s it. 

A/N: Y/N has powers that resemble those of the Scarlet Witch, because I’m honestly like in love with Wanda Maximoff but…that’s besides the point. Also this is my first actual written piece here on tumblr, so I hope this isn’t complete shit. Oh my god, I hope you guys like it!

Originally posted by stallingdemons

The sparkling red energy particles floated from my fingertips as I entertained myself with my abilities, the teacher was determined to kill us all with his monotone voice and distinct smell of burning cinnamon. The time couldn’t go by any slower. 

I sat in the back of the class where no one paid attention to, leaving me to use my powers freely if I wanted to. I rested my feet on the desk and continuously wiggled my fingers watching the energy surround my hand in a red glow. My eyes wander around the room when I see Peter Parker or as I like to call him, Baby Face, looking at me from the row in front of mine, his eyes watched my power with shock and another emotion that I couldn’t pinpoint. 

 Instead of freaking out that someone had seen me using my powers, I gave the cute boy a casual wink. His cheeks turned a shade of red and he turned back to his notes. I look inside his head to see if he was trustworthy enough to keep my powers a secret or if I had to erase his memory of this. It came as a shock to me to see that he had been bitten by a radioactive spider and then became the well known superhero, Spiderman. 

 Peter ‘Baby Face’ Parker was Spiderman. Wow. 

 I snapped back to my own reality after looking inside his head and turned to the clock. Two minutes. 

 I quietly packed my stuff and waited impatiently for the bell to ring, my right leg bounced up and down with excitement for the weekend. Soon enough the bell rang and I sprang for the door, when I feel a hand on my arm pulling me back. I turn to see who it was only to see Peter. 

 “Hey, Baby Face.” He blushes at the pet name and retracts his hand from my arm, with little to no confidence he tries to confront me about my powers.

“You-you have powers…” He whispers as we were now the only ones left in the classroom, the statement sounding more like a question.

“Yeah, you saw them didn’t you?” I answer coolly. 

“And you’re not freaking out that I found out? You’re not threatening to kill me if I don’t keep your secret?” He asks, I shrug.

“Didn’t think I had to. You know a lot about keeping secrets, don’t you, Spidey?” I smirk at him, his eyes widen and he stumbles over his words to try and come up with an excuse.

“I d-don’t know what…you-you’re talking about,” he stutters nervously, I roll my eyes at the boy.

“I’m telepathic, Peter. It’s okay, we can both keep a secret, right?” He nods frantically, I give him a grin before turning on my heels to walk out of the stuffy classroom.

“Wait!” I hear as he rushes after me, I stop in my tracks and look at the red faced boy next to me.

“Yes?” I ask politely.

“W-what are your powers? They looked really cool,” he implored, I sighed.

“My powers are complicated, I can do just about anything if I set my mind to it. It’s technically magic, but there’s also a bit of science to it, like I can affect probability fields and alter reality along with telepathy, mind control, mind manipulation, and a bunch of other crap. I don’t exactly know what I can do, I just know that I can do it,” I respond, his jaw had slackened at the mention of my abilities.

“…Wow, that’s so awesome!” He exclaims jumping up in excitement, he realized what he had done and clears his throat.

“So, were you born with them or did you get them?” He inquires, I chuckle. 

“What is this, twenty questions?” I tease, he sputters.

“No! I’m sorry, I just wanted to know- am I bothering you? I’m sorry-” I cut him off with my laughter as I laughed at his flustered expression.

“Peter, I’m kidding! I don’t mind the questions, as long as I get to ask some as well,” I negotiate, he blushes in embarrassment and nods his head.

“To answer your previous question. Yes, I was born with them, I just didn’t develop them until I was ten.” We both begin to walk out of the school together, as he continues to ask and I continue to answer.

“Have you ever thought of becoming a superhero? Cause with these powers, nobody would mess with you.” We stopped on the sidewalk as we waited for the crosswalk to show us the sign to walk. 

“I actually have thought about it but I don’t have full control over my powers yet, and it may not sound like it but they’re extremely destructive and I wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt just because I wanted to do something good,” I reply shoving my gloved hands into my jacket pockets.

“Besides, even if I did become a superhero, what would the public even call me? The Ruby Witch?” I joke, Peter chuckles.

“Nah, I was thinking something along the lines of ‘Hex’, what do you think?” I start to think about the superhero name before realizing that I actually really liked it.

“I like it,” I say, he smiles.

At the sight of his smile, I feel a certain fluttering in my stomach. The type of fluttering that you read about in stupid romance novels.

The crosswalk finally changes and we start walking, he sees us heading in the same direction so he lifts his eyebrow in confusion.

“Where do you live, by the way? Not asking as a creep,” he asks assuring me that he wouldn’t stalk me.

“I take the subway to an apartment building on Northside. Ridgefield,” I reply and his eyes widen.

“Seriously? No way, that’s my building!” He exclaims happily, but I scoff at him. 

“Yeah, I know. I see you all the time.” We were now walking into the subway station getting ready to wait for our train. 

 He looks confused as I tell him that we’ve been living in the same apartment building this entire time.

“Really? I’ve never seen you there before,” he added, I shake my head in disbelief, a small chuckle leaving my lips.

The both of us stand beside one another, waiting for the oncoming train to stop. His body radiated heat that warmed me up just by standing next to him, I couldn’t stop myself from looking at him. I’ve never really looked at him up close, only from afar. He was alluring in every way.

The train stopped and we stepped inside, we would’ve taken an available seat but Peter gave it to an elderly lady who then thanked him with two butterscotch candies, I giggled when the smiling woman handed him the candies out of her bag. Peter didn’t hesitate to take them and thanked her.

He handed me one of the candies and we unwrapped them together before popping them in our mouths, I would’ve started interrogating him about being Spiderman but there were lots of people in close quarters and we couldn’t risk people eavesdropping.

So instead he asked if I wanted to hang out at his place since his aunt was going to be at work until late at night. I took him up on the offer because after school I didn’t really have anything to do, I didn’t really have much of a life. 

 We made it to his apartment and I almost sigh at the cozy feeling, this was nothing like my apartment. Mine was too immaculate and void of any actual emotion, my parents were almost never home and I was an only child so it was always quiet. It was lonely.

“So, what’s it like being Spiderman?” I ask with no beating around the bush, he turns to me completely caught off guard.

“Well…it’s difficult, but it, uh, it’s worth it. I save lives, you know?” He says shrugging his shoulders, I chuckle.

“No, I don’t know, but I understand.”

We sit at the couch and talk for hours, just talking about the randomest and dumbest things we could think of. In one night, he made me laugh more than I have in my entire life. It was getting late so we both decided to drink coffee to keep us up and alert, we were both too invested in each other to risk any sort of fatigue. 

 We sipped the coffee that we both drowned in sugar claiming that it was too bitter. I checked the time and it was already past twelve, I turned around to look at Peter who stood behind me. Neither of us were quick enough to stop his hot coffee from spilling down my front, staining my thin white shirt.

“Oh shit! I’m so, so s-sorry-” he trailed off his words when he sees that the coffee had now made my shirt see through. I used my fingers to pick the shirt off my skin to prevent any further stickiness.

“It’s no big deal, my apartment is only two floors down I can go-” he cut me off before I could finish.

“You can clean the coffee off here, I can give you a shirt so you can run down to your apartment.” He said quickly rubbing the back of his neck, I raised an eyebrow at his nervous frame.

“Okay…”

I peeled the sticky now brown shirt off before him, he immediately locked his eyes on anything but me. He showed me to the bathroom and I quickly took off my bra which was just as sticky as the shirt. 

I cleaned myself off and wrung both my bra and shirt in the sink, as I waited topless in the bathroom I put my hair up in a messy topknot. A knock at the door startled me, I opened it just a little bit.

“I got you a shirt,” he stuck his hand out holding a black t-shirt loosely in his fingers.

“Thanks,” I mumble.

I take the shirt and slip it on, I grab my wet shirt and bra and leave the bathroom. I bump into Peter on the way out, my unsupported chest mushing into his chest. His hands hold my hips on instinct.

“Sorry,” we both apologize, our voices barely above a whisper. 

Our lips only centimeters apart, his warm coffee scented breath fanning my face. Our noses were now touching, I subconsciously drop my wet clothes and slid my hands up his biceps.

“Peter?” I utter.

“Yeah?”

“Did you spill coffee on me on purpose?” His thoughts had been extra loud throughout this whole ordeal and I couldn’t help but wonder what his plan was.

“Maybe,” he blushes in embarrassment but doesn’t turn away.

“Good.” I wrap my arms around his neck and connect our lips together, his hands grip my hips tightly as we kiss passionately. I moan into the kiss and pull away briefly.

“Take me to bed, Baby Face,” I moan sticking my face into his neck, sucking on his sweet spot.

A moan leaves his lips and he wraps my legs around his waist, placing his hands under my ass. He takes us to his room and gently places me on the bed, he takes off his shirt revealing a nice set of abs.

“Whoa, never would’ve imagined that,” I whisper to myself, I sit up and softly stroke his abs. 

I take off Peter’s shirt and toss it somewhere, his soft lips attach to my neck sucking a few bruises onto my collarbone as his hands trail down to my breasts. His thumbs rolled my nipples making me whimper. 

 As he proceeded downward I hear the door open and a woman’s voice call out.

“Peter! I’m home!”

“Damn it,” he curses and gets off of me, I giggle at his flustered expression.

I grab the shirt off the floor and try to make myself look as presentable as possible for a girl wearing a men’s shirt with no bra and huge boobs.

He opens the door and greets his aunt. They exchange a few words when she suddenly catches him in the lie.

“Oh and tell the girl you’re hiding in there that I’d like to meet her,” I hear her say, my eyes widen. Peter sighs before closing the door and turning to me, his hands holding my damp shirt and bra.

“Wow, she’s good,” I joke, he playfully rolls his eyes.

I take the clothes and we both leave his room, I apologize to his aunt but she tells me not to worry about it, that it’s a pleasure to actually see her nephew with a girl to which he threatened to jump out the window. We conversed for about an hour, her mostly embarrassing Peter and me laughing, until I had to leave.

She told me to come back any time. Peter walked me to my apartment after putting his shirt back on, we both stood outside my door.

“This was great, your aunt is really nice.”

He chuckles, “Yeah, I think she likes you. You know, despite the situation we were in,” he looks down at his feet, I put a finger under his chin and lift up his head to meet my eyes.

We share one last kiss.

“See ya’, Baby Face,” I say with a smile as I turn to go into my apartment.

“Bye.”

I stepped into my cold apartment and pressed my back against the door as I closed it shut. That boy had left me a mess, and I couldn’t ask for anything less.


A/N: I’m so sorry if this was shit, I’ll do better. This was shit.